(intense music)
(wind whistling)
(intense music)
(thunder crashing)
(wind whistling)
(r*fle fire banging)
(intense music continues)
(upbeat music)
(drone whirring)
(wind whistling)
(r*fle fire banging)
(upbeat music continues)
(drone whirring)
(upbeat music continues)
(drone whirring continues)
(drone beeping)
(drone whirring continues)
(intense music continues)
(wind gusting)
(g*nf*re banging)
(water splashes)
(upbeat music)
(drone whirring)
(wind whistling)
(fist pounding)
(wind whistling continues)
(drone whirring)
(knife thudding)
(intense music)
(upbeat music)
(drone whirring)
(static hissing)
(drone crashing)
(intense music)
(waves crashing)
- [Radio] Whiskey 12, what
is your position? Over.
(dramatic music)
(helicopter whirring)
- Elsa bravo, on final
approach, waiting and ready.
(dramatic music continues)
- [Radio] Target identified,
you are go for intercept.
- Full copies. Got
my target 60 seconds.
(upbeat dramatic music)
- [Radio] All hands, zone is
hot. I repeat, zone is hot.
- Roger, zone is weapons-free.
Don't worry, we'll bring
these assholes home.
(dramatic upbeat
music continues)
(alarm buzzing)
(inmates yelling)
(door clunking)
- You wanna know
about Megan Kimber?
(helicopter whirring)
- Special Agent a*s Lips Jake.
(expl*si*n booming)
- Yeah, yeah, of course,
whatever the Bureau needs.
- f*ck the Bureau.
(nose cracking)
(Megan sniffs)
I ain't giving you
meat whistles, nothing.
- Well, let's see, she's
crazy, for starters.
- He is a Nancy. I
will give you that.
- Reckless manic.
- Straight edge panty dryer
that can't cop for sh*t.
- Completely unhinged.
- And as a husband?
- A wife?
- I've had dry a**l
I enjoyed more.
- Do you ever get soap
right in the tippy
top of your pee hole?
Feels a lot like that.
- Did you know there's a wrong
way to load the dishwasher?
- She was like living
with a rabid animal.
- And a right way
to fold laundry.
- Stop trying to fix my
problems and just listen.
- He used to clean the
whole g*dd*mn house
before the cleaning
lady came over.
- She binged all of
our shows without me.
- If I hadn't left that a*s bag-
- She demon.
- I was gonna take my SIG.
- Press it against
her silly little face.
- Up his smug little pee hole.
- And just
bang!
- Bang!
- [Senior Investigator
Gary] Enough!
- [Investigator]
Focus on incident.
(intense music)
(camera beeping)
(breath whooshing)
(tablets plop and fizz)
- Here's the deal, detainees.
These here chats, these
off off the books kind,
they tend to get a little messy,
so I'll spell it out.
- Oh, good, that way
Megan can't follow. Smart.
- I love this country,
capital g*dd*mn hell.
We're talking rail
lines of freedom.
Jerk it to the
"Star-Spangled Banner."
ej*cul*te red, white, and
f*cking blue. Love it.
So when I have to share
the same mouth-breathed air
with a pair of filthy commies
spreading partner as well,
it just makes my trigger
finger yearn for justice.
- Ex, it's just you,
partner, Meg is my ex,
as in former past, no
longer affiliated with.
- Or banging.
- Not even with my
worst enemies peeing.
- 'Cause I dumped him.
- (laughs) Right.
- For a way better model.
- A better? I dumped you.
I dumped her.
- Several better models.
- And you know why?
- Men and women.
- Because this soul-sucking
erection eradicator
ruined my career.
(electricity buzzing)
(agents groaning)
(agents groaning)
- f*cking, f*ck.
- Thank Christ.
That hillbilly was 10,000 volts
of good old court-sanctioned
pain and compliance
and it only gets
worse from there,
so the two of you should
have swallowed loads
and start cooperating 'cause
here, within these walls,
there's two options: work
together or die alone.
Personally, I prefer
you pick the latter,
but hey, not my call.
- No? Then whose is it?
(intense music)
- Yeah, Gar Bear, someone
got you turning tricks?
- Handsome guy like him
must be real popular.
- Mm, I'd be down.
- Only be weird if you weren't.
- You itching for another shot?
- You itching for me to turn
your face into a crime scene?
- Like God did hers.
- Keep them jokes
up, pretty boy.
I'll dirt nap you too.
- What language
is that, Walmart?
- This cleanup in
aisle five beating
I'm gonna give
your face sure is.
(electricity buzzing)
(agents groaning)
- Oh, f*ck it.
- Let's try this again.
(computer buzzing)
- My throat. Can I
get some water first?
It'll help with the dryness
from all the shocking.
(Senior Investigator
Gary gulping)
(cup thuds)
(Jake sighs)
It all started
with my latest op.
As the FBI's top agent,
naturally, I get all the world's
most dangerous assignments.
Secure WMDs, rescue damsels,
you know, save the
planet type stuff.
Lucky for America, and
democracy as a whole,
I'm the man for the job.
(upbeat heavy medal music)
(singer vocalizing)
Hello, Langley.
- [Speaker] Agent
Reid, you're alive.
- That's right, ladies,
so if you have
any birth control,
you might wanna take
it now. (chuckling)
- [Megan] Nope. No way, stop.
- What?
- Don't want me,
f*cking belayed that story.
- Why?
- Because this ain't no
f*cking fertilizer
convention, that's why.
Go pedal your sh*t
somewhere else.
- That's exactly
how it happened.
- A tux?
- [Jake] I'm
fashionably sensible.
- Muscles flexing, hair
blowing in the wind.
- I have thick luscious locks.
- Yeah, so does my downstairs.
Don't make any of
that nonsense true.
b*tch boy baby blue.
Ugly, loads of ugly.
That's what he was wearing.
(upbeat music)
(words buzzing)
(g*nf*re banging)
(Jake whining)
- This is Agent a*s Lips.
I need help, so much help.
- [Agent] Jesus, pull
yourself together.
- I can't. I'm scared.
My agent isn't ready yet.
Oh, god.
- [Agent] What is
it? What happened?
- I peed my pants, oh.
(electricity buzzing)
(agents groaning)
- Quit your talking.
(electricity buzzing)
(agents groaning)
(agents gasping)
- Next time I won't let go
until one of you guys just fire.
- Intel retrieval.
- Jake.
- It was our assignment.
Locate a notorious hacker,
copy his hard drive,
bring the sensitive
data back to Langley.
- [Megan] Your f*cking serious?
- It seems the world's
most dangerous agent
would garner a
bigger assignment.
- Top agent.
Most dangerous assignment,
and oh, buddy, was it ever.
- They're just gonna body bag
us the second you're done.
- It's not gonna happen.
- Says the d*uche canoe
holding the cattle prod.
- Says the Senior
Investigator running the show.
- No offense, Voss, but
from where I'm sitting,
you ain't running
but Jack and sh*t.
They're gonna screw us.
- Well, at least we go out
telling our side of the story.
- There is no our side.
There's only the truth.
- Then there's no
reason not to tell it.
- Exactly, just
as soon as I get some water.
Flat, sparkling,
alkaline, Harrow.
Heck, at this point, I'll
even slum it with some tap.
- Your assignment.
- Find the hacker.
Copy his hard drive.
Bring back the data.
- That's it?
- That's it.
- Then what went wrong?
- In short, everything.
(siren blaring)
(g*nf*re banging)
(soldiers yelling)
(helicopter whirring)
(door banging)
(intense music)
(phone ringing)
This is this Special
Agent Jake Reid.
I need unit echo
requesting immediate evac.
- Priority.
- Priority frickin' now.
- Designator.
- 146 DHY.
- [Operator] Hold
for authentication.
- Not like there's an
entire frickin' country
up in here.
- Bureau of Investigation,
premier domestic intelligence
and security service
of the United States.
- Damn straight.
Ooh, hope that expiration's
more of a suggestion.
- Sophisticated agents
are shining examples of
what make this country
the greatest in the world.
- Yes, we know.
- Call 1-800-JOIN-FBI.
- Make a difference today.
- User listed as inactive.
- Inactive?
Well, tell that to the
buckshot in my vest.
- [Operator] EXFIL
request denied.
- Hello?
Suck.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay. Okay.
(phone ringing)
- Operator.
- Reid, Jake 146 DHY.
The guy's backside, you
literally just stuck it in.
- Sir?
- I am a federal agent
on assignment, paperwork
didn't get filed.
I don't know what happened.
I need a rescue.
- [Operator] User's
listed as inactive.
- I am active. That's what
I am trying to tell you.
You need to get in
touch with my tech.
My tech, she registered
the whole lot.
(alarm beeping)
(speaker vocalizing)
Come on.
(fist pounding)
Don't you do it.
(arm taps)
No way.
(fist pounding)
(plastic crinkling)
You miss me, beautiful?
Dammit. sh*t, okay.
Come on.
(ignition rattling)
Come on, Maeve.
(foot tapping)
(ignition whirring)
Oh f*ck, don't be
like that, Maeve.
Here we go.
(engine rumbling)
Yeah, there we go, yes.
All right.
(helicopter whirring)
Okay.
(phone buzzing)
- [Receptionist]
Midwest Field Office.
- Thank God.
- Hello?
- Yes,
this is Special Agent
Jake Reid, 146 DHY.
I need to speak to
Bain now, please.
- [Receptionist] I'm sorry.
How do you spell that?
- N-O-W, please.
- [Receptionist]
One moment please.
(intense music)
(cup clunks)
- We need facts, stats.
Conjecture doesn't
get a screenlit, okay?
Do better. Be better.
(phone thuds)
(phone ringing)
Hello?
- Oh, god, it's
good to hear you.
- Jake?
- [Jake] What's left of him.
- Your mission.
- I went full amber her.
- [Jen] I don't understand.
- Just, it sh*t the bed.
Listen, I'm in real trouble.
Right now, I need
extension uplink access,
eyes, ears, the whole package.
- [Maeve] External
device detected.
- Those evac clowns
hung up on me.
- You did what?
- [Jake] They said there
was no record of not.
- Oh, Lord, help me.
- Yeah, it was a
total waste of time.
Maeve, access fuel data.
- [Maeve] Update required.
- Those Philistines couldn't
find zeros in binary code
and you went to them first?
- It's protocol.
- And we are united in Christ
and I am the best
tech at Langley,
which means when you need
help, you come to me.
- Babe, just-
- First, before anyone else.
- Uplink needed.
- I know.
- Well, obviously you don't
or you wouldn't have
called complete strangers.
You would've come here to me.
- Okay, babe, you're
right, you're right.
Just this mission, this ambush,
this attack, I couldn't think.
All I could do was run.
- Uh-huh.
- Jen, please.
These people that are after me,
they have weapons, familiarity
with the terrain numbers.
All I have is you.
- Did you at least
secure the data?
- f*ck, yeah.
(militia yelling)
sh*t, militia's
sweeping the streets.
(militia yelling)
- How close?
- I don't know, a mile or two.
I can't be sure without
satellite uplink.
- You're gonna need
more than that,
aerial interface, military
tracker, police band,
and to upload that hacker's
data to my private server
the second we are connected.
- That's a yes for me, doc.
- Except the incoming request.
- Okay, okay, okay, all right.
Maeve is all yours.
- Who? What?
- Look.
- [Maeve] External
connection detected.
- There.
- I patched in, sending
you a route home.
The system is ancient.
Waiting for an upload,
it's gonna take a while.
- Okay, call Captain
Voss, I wanna be briefed.
- Go, go, get moving.
We'll reconvene when the
upload is established.
Oh, oh, oh, and Jake-
- I love you too.
- That data cannot fall
into the wrong hands.
- Worry not. I am in the one
place nobody will find me.
(window whirring)
- f*ck.
(grunts) f*ck.
(bottle clunking)
Ah, f*ck.
- Megs?
- a*s Lips?
God.
I'm gonna k*ll you!
That's when I made him my b*tch.
- Oh, please, I was
a backup tight end.
- But you finished
a wide receiver.
He cried and everything.
- Again, with the crying.
- If the diaper fits.
- I beat your a*s like a man.
(water gurgling)
(Megan vocalizing)
- [Megan] I've got
a bag (indistinct).
- Enough with the fight!
What happened after?
- sh*t got real.
(Jake grunting)
Give up!
- Babe.
- I ain't no lady.
- These are mine.
- Come on, fight.
- Worth it.
- Ah, brief.
- What?
(Megan and Jake vocalizing)
(Megan thudding and panting)
Why?
- Are you such a puss?
I've been asking
myself that for years.
- You hate me, I get it,
but ambushing a federal
agent on assignment,
even by your whale crap
standards, that's low.
- What the f*ck you
talking about ambush?
I was asleep!
- You were recovering
from the beatdown
I threw you and your friends
back at the hacker's apartment.
- I wasn't at no apartment.
- And/or the apartment,
and yes, you were
right before coming back
here to finish me off.
- Alone, unconscious,
I came here to duck the
idiot that jumped me.
- What idiot?
- I don't know.
Some thick-necked flacid
wing ex-military type.
- Backed by local
PD and militia.
- How'd you know that?
- Because the same
ones came after me.
- So you ran back to the only
place in this g*dd*mn sandbox
where no one could find you.
Our old-
- Old safe house.
(computer buzzing)
sh*t, my motion detector.
- What's it doing?
- Detecting motion.
- No, sh*t, you prolapsed
as*h*le, who's motion?
- Probably the
people you pissed off
enough to cause all this.
- So you think it was me.
- Yeah.
- Maybe someone
seeking revenge before
you bore them to death
with your f*cking bed
sheet-folding lectures.
- Impossible, because
everyone knows
if you don't fold
fitted sheets right
out of the dryer, they wrinkle.
- I can't fold them b*stards.
They ain't got corners.
- And for the 100th
time, yes, you can.
You have to start
with them inside out,
then with your palms spread-
- Vehicles approaching.
- sh*t.
- We gotta get outta here.
- First thing we
agreed on all day.
Maeve has got a level
five armament the package.
Nothing short of a heat seeker
can get through these panels.
The outer panels of the
car have bulletproof.
The windows are bulletproof.
If all my calculations
are correct,
we are gonna be good to go.
If my...
(door slams)
Megs?
Meg?
Of all the stupid
idiotic things,
what the hell are you doing?
- [Megan] Clearing us a path.
- A path?
Who's to say I won't take
off and just leave you here?
- [Megan] You think
I'm a raggedy old now?
Wait till I am a ghost.
I'll haunt your weird
nuts for eternity.
- I told you every guy has one
that hangs lower than the other.
(dramatic music)
- [Megan] Go! Now!
(engine humming)
- Here we go.
(tires squealing)
(upbeat music)
(expl*si*n booming)
(g*nf*re popping)
(tires squealing)
(g*nf*re popping)
(upbeat music continues)
Holy sh*t.
Megs, it worked.
Megs? Megan?
Megan!
Where are you? What's going on?
- [Megan] Looking for
a f*cking rally point.
I've got a truck, but
the big is shot to hell.
- Okay, yeah, northeast
side of the road,
there's a structure, I'll
meet you right behind it.
- [Megan] That's
as far as you got?
- I was trying to
stay close, help.
- [Megan] You wanna help?
Start laying down
impressive fire
because I am coming in hot!
(tires squealing)
- It's pitch black.
Megan, seriously do something,
pop smoke, light
a flare, anything.
See, was that so hard?
Uh-oh.
(g*nf*re banging)
Oh, sh*t.
- Drive!
- [Jake] f*cking flashlight.
- Last time I g*dd*mn
listen to you.
(upbeat music)
(grenade clinking)
(expl*si*n booming)
(militia shouting)
a*mo.
- Up here.
Come on, you all right?
- Do I look all
f*cking right to you?
What the f*ck is all this?
- Weapons, first aid,
Geiger counter, tox kit,
standard go bag assortment.
- Tox kit, like for poison?
- Yeah, somebody
slips you a Mickey,
that'll Mike Tyson it
right outta your system.
You know, it'll-
- It'll knock it right out,
yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
What I don't got is why
we need medicine at all.
(g*nf*re popping)
- It's less of a medicine
and more of a negation
agent receptor blockade.
It's amazing stuff, actually.
- Oh, that's it.
Switching to their team.
(g*nf*re popping)
(upbeat music)
- [Maeve] m*ssile lock.
- Maeve, deploy chaff.
- In coming!
(missiles whistling)
(expl*si*n booming)
- [Maeve] Damage indicated.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Would you just k*ll
these guys already?
Let's go, Meg.
(g*nf*re popping)
- Happy?
- Never around you.
(computer buzzing)
- Now what?
- [Jake] We must
have popped a tire.
- Use the inflate/deflate.
- System offline.
- Dammit!
The expl*si*n must
have fried the wires.
- Pull over.
- We're barely clear.
- Rather you wait till we
tear this b*tch to shreds
and we can't fix it?
- Vehicles approaching.
- Pull over!
- [Jake] Okay.
(tires screeching)
- I'll patch the g*dd*mn tire.
A woman's work is never done.
- [Maeve] Vehicles approaching.
- Meg.
Meg.
(g*nf*re popping)
- [Megan] Get the f*cking
deploy system back online.
(intense music)
- Hey, Megs, you never told me
where you ended up
after the Bureau.
- [Megan] Freelance.
New shop upstate.
- Oh, venture, su-co.
We're always investigating
those hacks for something.
- [Megan] Now I'm on a godplay
called none of your
g*dd*mn business.
- (chuckling) They
have good benefits?
- [Megan] The best.
Never seen you.
Might wanna speed
it up, princess.
It's getting pretty
hairy out here.
- I am trying.
- [Megan] Well try faster.
- Why don't you try quieter?
Oh, what?
(intense music)
Oh, sh*t!
- [Megan] What
happened (indistinct)?
- I just touched a head.
- [Megan] In the back?
Oh yeah, no, don't
worry, he's dead.
- Son of a b*tch.
You knew about this?
- [Megan] How do you think
it got in there, I walked?
- Oh, why?
- [Megan] To get us some
answers, Jesus, relax.
- I'll relax just as soon as
you stop cutting off heads.
- [Maeve]
Inflate/deflate online.
- I am a tech god. Ha ha!
- [Senior Investigator
Gary] He said that?
- Direct quote.
- You have to
understand the context.
- Out loud.
- Megs, let's go!
(phone ringing)
Sir, I was starting
to get worried.
- [Jen] I am a tech,
not a magician.
- Jen?
- I've had to install
a whole new OS
before even touching
the software.
It's only by God's grace that
we're even talking at all.
- What happened to Voss?
- [Boss] Hey Jen,
I need that report.
- Back off! You'll
get it when it's done.
Is anyone else
working around here?
(door thuds)
- Your system is a dinosaur,
and not a young one at that.
It's gonna be a while
before your system
is back on online.
(knuckles rapping)
- Send that back.
- Sent!
(phone ringing)
- [Jake] Jen.
- Oh.
(phone ringing)
Investigations.
- Where's the director?
- Yeah, this is she. I
told you I'm handling it.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
(phone receiver thuds)
- And?
- And, and I am.
I'm also upgrading your vehicle,
interfacing with the embassy,
and coordinating a military
extract at the border
without any help, so excuse
me if it's not all happening
at the snap of a
frickin' finger.
- [Senior Investigator
Gary] Stop.
(handcuffs sliding)
(cup thuds)
- So you're telling
me you attempted
to contact the
director's office.
- Multiple times.
- Scout's honor.
- So how come there's
absolutely no record
of it in the call?
- The Bureau's call logs
are digitized, timestamped,
and possible to alter.
(clipboard clunks)
- Which makes your story
a little hard to swallow.
- Keep after it.
Don't wanna be a
spitter. Ruins the mood.
- I had Jen call him repeatedly.
- What happened next?
- We got some water.
- This prison wallet apologized.
- To who?
- His fun retardant girlfriend.
- Empathy and apology are two
completely different things.
Can I get a coffee or something?
- You did?
- Yeah, he f*cking did.
- I'm also upgrading
your vehicle,
interfacing with the embassy,
and coordinating
a military extract
at the border
without any support,
so excuse me if it's
all not happening
at the snap of a
frickin' finger.
- Okay, you're right, you're
right, I know, I am sorry.
- [Senior Investigator
Gary] My god.
- Don't be sorry,
just plug in the data
and start the upload.
- Ah.
All right, done.
- Smell that?
That's some bullshit.
- What was that?
- Nothing, ignore
her, she's crazy.
- Me? She's the one pissing
on us, saying it's raining.
- Oh my goodness.
Is someone with you?
- It's a long story.
- No, it ain't.
This t-licker hijacked my ride.
- Would you just shut
up for one second
and let me have a conversation?
- No chance.
- Why not?
- Because last time I did
that, I got f*cking fired.
(knuckles rapping)
- Busy!
Why is someone with you?
- [Jake] Are you joking?
- Wish you were.
- [Jen] Jake, who is that?
- After all I
sacrificed, all I did.
- Toss me, burn me,
not have my back,
that kind of sacrifice.
- Who is with you?
- The worst mistake of my life.
- You f*cked me.
No lube, no spit, just bam,
right in my career's a*s.
Also you got promoted.
- I fought for you.
- Me?
- Through tribunals,
hearings, all of the crap
you couldn't be bothered
to stick around for.
- Bullshit.
- No bull, no sh*t.
I stuck it out to
the bitter end.
- Oh, yeah? Why?
- Because I f*cking
love you, Megan.
- Megan? Megan Kimber?
That's who you're with?
- You know her?
- We practically had a whole
section on her at Quantico.
- Hear that, a*s
Lips? f*cking famous.
- It covered what
not to do ever.
- That checks out.
- Why is she with you?
You didn't give her
the data, did you?
- Babe, this is
gonna sound bananas,
but I think she is
involved in this.
- Babe?
- The guys that came after
me, they came after her too.
- Yeah, the f*ck nabbed me
the second I got in the country.
- No, no, no, no, stop, stop.
Take me off speaker.
- What?
- This is a privileged
conversation
and she doesn't have clearance.
- Better listen to her, babe.
- Jake, this woman
is a criminal.
- Yes.
- [Jen] She was fired,
disgraced, practically ruin your
life
and you are going to
trust her with this?
- What I trust is that
these attacks are connected.
Somebody from the past, they're
trying to settle a score,
and if I don't figure out who
it is, it's never gonna end.
- The only way this ends is
with you uploading that data,
finishing this mission,
and coming home alone.
- Stop!
(tires squealing)
Enough of this secret
love bird sh*t.
Computer upload status.
- Maeve.
- Ugh, you and the
foreign broads.
- [Maeve] Data upload 5%.
- That's plenty of time
to ID these f*ck.
Jessica, stand by
for optical scan.
- It's Jennifer.
- [Jen] And how are we
supposed to do that?
- [Megan] Here.
- Oh, gross, not the head again.
God, it's so slippery.
Uh, the key fob.
- I know how to
drive this b*tch.
- You gotta be careful.
- What the f*ck
is wrong with you?
- The car is rigged with C4.
(intense music)
- C f*cking what?
- What the heck is
your problem, Jake?
- Where do I start?
- That was the plan.
Remember, in case
of apprehension,
scrub DNA, erase evidence,
plan for everything
because a failure to plan-
- Is just planning to fail,
yeah, yeah, so you've said
a million g*dd*mn times.
Scan the f*cking head, or has
that got a b*mb in it too?
- Oh, gross, it's
so f*cking slippery.
- Nothing's coming through.
- That's 'cause precious here
can't seem to find the G spot.
- That has never
been my problem.
All right, here we go.
Oh, god.
- [Maeve] Initiating scan.
- Couldn't you sever
a finger or something?
- That's disgusting.
(computer beeping)
- [Maeve] Searching database.
- Gross.
- Okay, this should
take a few minutes.
How's the upload coming?
- Oh, never better.
So, Jen, Jenny, babe,
how long you two been, you know?
- Colleagues. A while now.
Upload status?
- How long you two been
scissoring each other?
- Ignore her, Jen. Attention
only makes Meg more evil.
- Way ahead of you.
No records on M
part, trying Avis.
- Oh you know, I
think it's good,
the office romance
and all that sh*t,
but tell me, what
do you think about
all those little
Percy Dayton rules?
- I don't have rules.
(Megan laughing)
What? I don't.
- You are telling me you don't
have pillows for sleeping on
and pillows for just
f*cking looking at?
- I have throws.
- That you can't sleep on.
- Because they absorb
facial oils, Meg.
- He's still too good
for toilet paper.
- Oh, come on, it's not that.
Medicated wipes work
significantly better than dry
paper.
- Oh, thank God, we have a hit.
All right, Habib Abdelah.
Ex-Iranian Military Special
Forces Communication.
- Whoo. And look
at that k*ll list.
Hey, what's this
sh*t on the bottom?
- DOJ records, work release
info, doesn't pertain to this.
- Wait, Global Assets,
aren't they the-
- International marks for
hire m*therf*ckers? Sure are.
- Oh, you sound acquainted.
- I've had a few run-ins.
(upbeat music)
(explosions booming)
(r*fle fire popping)
(expl*si*n booming)
(upbeat music continues)
(electricity buzzing)
(r*fle fire popping)
(water roaring)
(upbeat music continues)
(r*fle fire popping)
- [Maeve] Incoming
vehicle detected.
- Looks like there's
a hornet's nest
coming in from the west.
- You gotta move.
You gotta move.
Come on, I need you to move.
- Goddammit.
- Come on.
- Hold on.
- Let's get you over here.
I know.
(quiet music)
- [Jen] Hello? You still there?
- Yeah, hey, Jen.
Yeah, great job,
listen, we will,
I'm gonna keep pulling
at these threads
and you try Voss, okay?
- Real good stuff there,
Jen. Hate to let you go, bye.
- But, the upload status.
- Dummy.
(engine rumbling)
- [Jake] You don't have to
treat her like that, okay?
- Oh, please.
Don't act like that d*ck
garage doesn't suck.
- She just gave
us a massive lead.
- She ran an ocular scan, okay?
Excuse me if my
panties aren't wet.
(phone ringing)
Dial this number, 911.
- What? Who's that?
- We tried your guy.
Now we try someone good.
- You know what?
Enough with the jabs.
Jen is smart.
- Wrong.
- And kind.
- Oh, stupid.
- And she has been there
for me more than anybody,
more than you
could ever imagine.
- I imagine a lot of dry,
unenthusiastic handshakes.
- That's not entirely true.
- [Maeve] Proximity warning.
- f*ck, these f*ck are fast.
- You know, she was there by
my side when nobody else was.
I owe that woman everything.
- Yeah, well, broads
always wore your weakness.
- Oh, the only person I
was ever weak on was you.
- I rest my case.
- [Maeve] Proximity warning.
- Dammit.
- Running ain't
working. We gotta hide.
There.
- Over here.
- Yeah.
- All right, here we go.
(vehicle thumping)
- [Megan] k*ll it.
- You know, I really think
you should give Jen a chance.
I think you'd be impressed.
- Uh-huh.
- No, I'm serious.
I mean, talk about loyal.
After the incident,
you were gone,
my support system shattered.
Everybody that I could
rely on vanished,
everybody but her.
- Yeah, well, it wasn't exactly
roses on my part either.
Scrounging, freelancing,
and working sh*t
jobs for sh*t money,
the kind no one else
would wanna take,
all because the FBI
would never admit
they ever even heard of you.
- Well, can you blame 'em?
- Yeah, gutter ball, I can.
(phone ringing)
(intense music)
Raj?
- Kimber, is that you?
- No, it's Shirley
f*cking Temple.
- The kind no one
would ever want.
- You missed all your check-ins.
Starting to worry about ya.
Thought maybe perhaps someone-
- [Megan] That someone
maybe took me out?
- That's it.
- Well, we all know that
ain't never gonna happen.
- That's it, that's why
these guys are after us.
That's what they want us dead.
- Who the f*ck is that?
- Special Agent Jake Reid, FBI.
- Someone I want dead. Drive.
(engine rumbling)
- Yo, my man just say agent?
- Yeah, we also
said special, so.
- Kimber, what the is going on?
- At approximately 1100
hours this morning,
we were separately targeted
in attacks coordinated
by mercenaries
with ties to Global sourcing.
- Not possible.
- Afraid so, Raj.
- I'm sorry, mister,
what's your name again?
- Agent Reid.
- [Raj] f*ck off. The
adults need the room.
- Wow, he sounds nice.
- [Raj] Meg, are
you mental? A Fed.
- Wasn't my choice,
okay, trust me.
- He's asking questions.
Do you know who we
are? What you do?
- Ooh, somebody's in trouble.
- Yeah, you if that f*ck
hole doesn't stay shut.
- Untangle your nylons,
Raj, he's my ex.
- Wait, he's not the guy
that you said would arrest
a blind orphan for
jaywalking, is he? (laughs)
Why are you in his car?
- Well, technically
it's still our car,
and two, because
apparently God hates me.
And, in this specific situation,
he may have some value
in finding out who's
soul I gotta squash.
- Value?
You're not thinking of teaming
up with him on this, are you?
I mean, if he starts
digging into us.
- [Megan] Then
I'll k*ll him, bad.
- Wait, who's getting k*lled?
- Some as*h*le who sucks.
Happy?
Now, Raj, spill.
Why ain't Global
our trigger force?
Raj.
- Fat stacks.
- Say fat what?
- Stacks, cash, money.
He's saying that
guarding the cartel,
executing politician may not
be your idea of a good time,
but it sure pays.
- So if your company
is working with them-
- Nope, I can either
confirm nor deny
any working relationships
with outside agencies.
- But they would never
risk millions of dollars
in annual contracts by attacking
the literal hand
that feeds them.
- Unless it isn't
us they're sore at.
- I don't follow.
- I do. Raj, listen to this.
Do you have a record
of all Megan's jobs?
- I'm not about to
share with your eyes.
- No, not the ones
for your company.
I'm talking about the
freelance stuff, the one-offs,
the jobs she had to do
to get the job with you.
- He never tracked me like that.
- Why does any of
this even matter?
- Well, follow me here.
Our headless c*ptive in the
back has ties to Global,
the company you said
only cares about revenue.
- So?
- Wait, what?
Someone's headless?
- What if one of Megan's
activities affected that money,
like a lot of it, enough
to justify taking her out,
even at the risk of irritating
her current employer?
- Have to be a hell
of a lot of money.
- If Meg hit that
pocketbook that hard,
they'd have taken her
out there and then.
Why wait till now?
- Maybe they wanted her alone.
Maybe the timing wasn't right.
- Or maybe they just found out.
Raj, before I arrived,
how many of my dead f*ck
can be directly
linked to Global?
- Yeah, this is a bad idea.
- [Megan] How many?
- Give me a minute.
- Oh.
- sh*t.
No wonder they're pissed.
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Half a dozen of these missions
were just simple observant
reports, all right?
I mean, four got
scrubbed before launch,
a couple were dead ends,
there was a Parkinson's hit.
- That was you?
- I can neither confirm
nor f*cking deny.
- Oh yeah, another, the
wannabe whistleblower
that we stopped
from going public.
- I was practically gonna
get a medal for that one.
(phone clicks)
Raj?
(engine rumbling)
Raj.
- What the hell did you do?
- I don't know, I just, the
car, it's dead, it died.
Ah-
- What the hell?
- Come on.
- What the hell?
- Maeve, analyze propulsion.
- [Maeve] System offline.
- What the f*ck? I thought
that was impossible.
- It is. Maeve, manual override.
- [Maeve] Access denied.
- Ah, everything is
down, but the uplink.
- f*ck the uplink.
The edge of this cliff's got
us g*dd*mn sitting ducks.
- [Jake] Yeah, well, it's better
than being off the side, Meg.
- Oh, it looks more
and more appealing
every second I'm with you.
- Oh, please, by all means jump.
- Oh, I bet you'd like
that, wouldn't you?
- Yeah, the whole
f*cking world would, Meg.
(vehicle thudding)
What was that?
Did you hear that?
- I got ears.
(vehicle thudding)
- What was that?
(rocks thumping)
- Rocks.
- Rocks?
- Big gothic
wall-stretching rocks
coming off that there ledge.
(rocks thumping)
- That's a boulder.
- Is there a f*cking difference?
- Yes, size and detachment.
Of course not
boulders are rocks,
any aggregate of minerals,
but to be a boulder,
you have to be large in size
and detached from the terrain.
- That!
I was trying to figure out
what was the most
annoying part of you.
I thought it was your face,
but that right there is it.
- Being accurate?
- And your soggy d*ck.
- Ah.
(boulder crashing)
Oh, sh*t, the convoys
doubling back.
- How are we gonna get
this b*tch off her back
in the next five minutes?
- I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Don't say think faster.
- Well, these boulders
are rocks keep falling,
I won't have to.
- Here, I have an
idea. Call Jen.
- On purpose?
- Yes, she is the only other
one with direct access to me.
Call her, go.
- Call Jen.
What am I supposed
to talk about?
(phone ringing)
You better hope your
lady crusher has answers
because even I can't
hold off an army alone.
- Oh, you did it in Laos.
- Oh, it was back
country butt lickers.
They couldn't hit the
ground with a rock.
- Nah, that's not
the way I heard it.
- [Maeve] Access denied.
Please enter password.
- We had air support.
- Not until you
took out two units
of heavily-armored infantry.
- [Maeve] Four minutes
until intercept.
- Ah.
- What about your
sh*t, what you did?
- What, lay there leg
mangled, slug in my shoulder.
I mean, hero is a strong
word, but I'll take it.
- [Maeve] Please enter password.
- [Jake] There is no password.
- Fun police ain't answering.
- Mother frickin',
try the office line.
- Oh sure, yeah, why
didn't I think of that.
I'll try the office.
I'll just get that number
right outta my sweet a*s.
- Recent calls, first
number, let's go.
- [Maeve] Access denied.
- [Jake] Come on, Maeve.
- Do everything, Megs.
Dial the phone, Megs.
Get the g*ns, Megs.
Defeat a whole army.
Feed a whole army in
bed, that's for sure.
- Bullshit.
- I'm amazing and you know it.
- You're, yeah, yeah,
you're fine, fine.
- Fine?
Fine!
- [Receptionist]
Midwest Field office.
- I'm the best you ever had.
- [Receptionist] Ma'am.
- Oh sh*t, hold on.
Admit it.
- Maeve.
- Access denied.
- Ah, come on, you b*stard.
- Are you listening to me?
(rocks thumping)
- Oh, sh*t.
- [Receptionist] Hello.
- What?
- Can I help you?
- Right, right. Give me that
fugly Jen, what's her name?
The one who's banging a*s Lips.
- Bain, extension 593.
- You've reached the desk
of Jennifer Bain,
Cyber Investigation.
- What, she not answering?
- Makes two of you.
(rocks crashing)
- Jesus, Megs, do something.
We're about to get
crushed to death.
- Well, you can't get into
heaven with a guilty conscience.
- Oh, what do even
know about heaven?
- I know you ain't getting in.
(electricity buzzing)
- Ah! God.
Fine! Fine, you're amazing.
Is that what you want me to say?
Sex with you is better
than anything I ever had
in my whole life.
Nothing in life will ever
compare to sex with Meg.
There, you happy?
- [Voicemail] Thank you.
Your message has
been sent. Goodbye.
- No.
You're a monster.
- Hold on, angry John Stamos.
- Biblical level she beast
hell bent on
absolute destruction.
- This was an accident.
- That was jealousy.
- Oh! Jealous of
the computer lady?
- Jealous of me finding love,
moving on while you just sit
there and wallow forever alone.
- News flash.
I ain't alone. I got Raj.
- Oh yeah, right, the nerd
guy from the mystery job?
Way to go.
- He ain't a nerd in the pants,
if you know what I'm saying.
- What?
- You heard me.
Call, now.
- With you, hearing
and comprehending
are two polar
freaking opposites.
- [Maeve] One minute
until intercept.
- Oh, come on, Maeve.
- This fancy a*s computer sh*t.
Wish you could just tear the
b*tch out and we could drive.
- Holy sh*t.
You're right.
- I am?
- Yes, yes, the AI system is
software on top of hardware.
If I sever the connection,
disconnect the uplink...
(electricity buzzing)
Ah, ah, ah.
We could drive without it.
Um, I was, I just, I.
- I'll knock you out later.
- Right, right, there's
another junction box.
Go, go, go! It's
in the glove box.
In the glove box, go.
Careful, it's hot.
- Oh.
- There you, go on, all right.
Now get over here and
start this puppy up.
Come on!
Let's go!
- I'm trying!
- [Maeve] Intercept imminent.
- There's gotta be
another junction box.
All right, you have
a spare or a backup,
but the only place
in this vehicle
that we would store
more electrical,
the trunk.
- The trunk.
- Keep us alive. Ugh.
- Wait!
Ugh! as*h*le.
- Come on.
(compartment clattering)
(electricity buzzing)
Ah, ah.
Drive!
(engine whirring)
- Holy sh*t. He is a tech god.
- [Militia]
Americans, surrender.
There is no escape.
- Jake!
- [Militia] Surrender, and
no harm happens to you.
- Get your anorexic back here!
The one time I could use
your smarty pants sh*t.
- [Militia] I give you
to the count of three.
- Can't any bad guys
ever count to 100?
Jake!
- One.
- sh*t bags everywhere.
Only open road is a
billion foot cliff.
Nah.
f*ck.
- [Militia] Two.
- f*ck. Ain't no f*cking way.
Goddammit.
(dramatic music)
- [Militia] Three.
(engine roaring)
(Jake yelling)
- Strap in, Adida.
It's on a few rocks!
(vehicle clattering)
(phone ringing)
- Operator.
- Hi, why did the upload
stop? Where's the link?
What did you do?
- Oh, we're fine, still alive.
Thanks for your concern!
- Goddammit, where's Jake?
I demand to speak to him.
(vehicle clattering)
- See, you can bully
into stupid decisions
with the witchcraft
of yours, hard pass.
- The only stupid decision
here was stopping that upload.
Now put him on the phone.
- In the words of
Rosa Parks, "Nah."
- This isn't a joke.
That data is vital to stopping
a huge national threat.
If it were to be lost-
- It means he's dead
in a real bad way,
something that don't
seem to bother you none.
- Of course, it bothers
me, but Jake is a patriot.
He knows the mission
always comes first.
(vehicle clattering)
- I bet that sounds real good
from behind a computer screen,
but out here in the sh*t,
the only mission that
matters, staying alive.
- Is that how you justify
ruining his career,
getting project
(beeps) shut down?
- Project what?
No mention of any
project in your file.
- Weird.
- Shocking.
- It's almost as if
this is need to know
and your pimp ain't
cleared you to know.
- Listen here, dirt track.
When it comes to clearance,
there's God, President,
me in that order,
so cut the sh*t
and start talking.
- Not without an
executive order.
I love my country too.
- With a capital g*dd*mn hell.
- Open it.
- [Investigator] This
is wasting our time.
- You wanna tell
this, already tell.
- Hmm.
(drawer sliding)
- See if they have an
ETA on those waters.
- Talk order. Yesterday.
- And a water.
Hey, do you want something?
Why don't you just make it two?
(phone buzzes)
- What happened next?
- Is that how you justify
ruining his career,
getting project
(beeps) shut down?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
how'd a basement level
keyboard f*ck like you hear
about our classified mission?
- The same way I heard
about Jake's plea deal.
He told me.
- Okay, now I know
you're shittin' me
'cause ain't no way Saint
a*s Lips would cop a plea.
- He didn't tell you?
(chuckles) Oh my goodness.
I knew he had fallen for you,
but I never guessed how hard.
- Tell me what?
- That he gave up
everything to protect you.
- f*ck' lies.
- The Bureau is petty,
political, obsessed with optics,
and yet they let a
colossal f*ck up like you
go without jail
time or prosecution?
Please.
Even a bulb as dim as you has
to realize that didn't add up.
They needed a scapegoat,
someone to take the heat,
and with you gone, well,
Jake was the only solution.
- Even if that were
true, wasn't his choice.
- He loved you.
What other call was there?
That man stood up for his wife
and has been paying
for it every day since.
So if you have a
shred of decency
left in that shriveled
black soul of yours,
you will get that link
up, send me his data,
and pay him back.
(vehicle roaring and clattering)
- f*ck.
(Megan panting)
Look at this dump truck.
Gross.
Filters.
Bad hair.
Just a good bra.
Okay, now that a*s is legit.
You little as*h*le.
He kept them.
All of them.
(phone ringing)
Raj?
- Ride is booked.
- [Megan] Yeah?
- Got an Irish crew
exiting from an airstrip
outside of Sun Valley.
- Sun Valley, that's
15 minutes from here.
- Get there in 12,
last seat is yours.
- Hell, yeah! What about Jake?
- Who? Oh, him.
Yeah, dump him.
- I can't do him like
that, not out here.
- These guys that are hunting
you, they're the real deal.
Anyone finds out who he
is, the data he's carrying,
you know what happens.
- Then we'll just keep
driving, push onto the border.
- Borders closed.
I got reports that there's
armored units at every
checkpoint
all the way to the ocean.
It's you're only
shot to get out.
- Can't just leave him, Raj.
- Why? He left you.
(intense music)
(engines revving)
(Jake coughing and gasping)
- You're dead.
(Jake coughing and gasping)
Meg, clean up your sh*t, god.
- I believe the word you're
looking for is thanks.
- For leaving me in the trunk?
- For saving your relationship.
- What?
Why, you talked to
Jen? What'd she say?
- She said to
finish your mission.
- How?
- By giving her someone
else to be red assed at.
- I don't know what to say.
- The word starts with a
T and ends with a hanks.
- No, hey, hey, thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, sh*t.
Meg, you're bleeding.
- Happens once a month.
- Oh Christ, Meg,
you've been shot.
- Barely grazed, really.
The b*llet's not even in there.
- Yes, but bacteria is,
not to mention
swelling and infection.
You have to let
me deal with this.
- I'm telling you, it's nothing.
- And I'm telling you I'm
not gonna let my partner die
before crossing the finish line.
- Listen, something
that I gotta tell you.
Ow!
- Sorry.
- Ow.
It's gonna burn for a second.
You gotta let me deal with
it, it's infected, stay still.
So that guy, you're chasing,
that computer f*ck or whatever.
- [Jake] The hacker?
- Yeah, what's his deal?
- Since when you care
about what I got going on?
- Since I got an entire desert
full of bad guys chasing me.
- Well, a few months
back intel noted
a series of black
hack incursions
into a catalog of old files.
It just means the Agency
busted some computer
f*ck stealing sh*t.
- Bad dudes?
- The worst, wanted by
all the world's agencies.
I put my text on it. They threw
everything they had at us.
Cyber sweeps, honeypots,
but every time we got close,
poof, them and all
their data disappeared.
- Like my panties after
a bottle of tequila.
- More like three shots, Meg.
- Oh, you calling
me a lightweight?
- No, I'm just saying,
I remember Cabo.
- I bet you do.
- Anyway, after God knows
only how many dead ends,
we finally caught one of
their group's IP addresses
on the dark web,
chased it for weeks,
finally tracking it here.
- To an non-extradition country,
meaning you have no
arrest authority.
Ow! Watch it!
- Sorry. Sorry.
- f*ck, ah.
So how'd you get involved?
- Well, Jen, you know,
she had this idea,
a way for me to finally get
my career back on track.
- I bet she did.
- International law states
that I can't arrest the guy,
sure, it's a sovereign nation,
but what I can do
is snatch the data,
kick the doors wide open
on the organization,
especially when it's
a country we have so,
I have so much experience in.
- That much exposure? Risk?
There's no way upstairs
would sign off on that.
- I didn't think so either,
but Jen, she worked her magic.
Got me a 24-hour window,
just enough time to get in,
get the data and
get outta there,
but when I got there, there was-
- An entire k*ll team waiting
to f*ck all answers why.
- You know, I actually
have a theory on that.
I remembered something
while I was in the trunk.
- Your need for deodorant?
- Our first assignment,
Meg. Project Achilles.
- Executive talk order,
signed by the President.
(paper crinkling)
Open it.
(buzzer buzzing)
(drawer sliding)
(items clunking)
(drawer clunking)
(buzzer buzzing)
And for the lady.
- So, what do you wanna know?
- Everything, for starters.
We'll work our way from there.
- Our assignment was to
procure advanced intel
on high-level subjects
believed to be a threat
to the integrity of
the respective offices.
- You're a recon unit.
- Only on paper.
- In reality?
- We caught dirty m*therf*ckers
doing dirty m*therf*cker sh*t.
- Cyber attacks.
They're the single biggest
threat facing America right now.
Hijacking a commercial
airliner takes organization,
people willing to
sacrifice their lives.
Shutting down a Fortune 500
company, one line of malware.
Take Ascension Medical
Group, for example.
Last year, all of its 136
hospitals, 131,000 associates
and facilities across
18 states were frozen
for weeks from one
line of malware.
- Hell of a mess.
- Jake had to reschedule
his bikini wax.
He was devastated.
- Imagine the same shutdown
in the financial sector,
the banking industry.
The losses would
be catastrophic.
- Insert Project Achilles.
- The idea was to be proactive,
recognize cyber threats
before they happen,
rather than clean
up the mess after.
Only, to make it work,
we had to get creative.
- We spied on people.
- No, no.
The Bureau created a powerful
bleeding edge algorithm
that not only predicted threats,
but data-mined the proof
needed to prosecute them.
- Spied on people.
- We caught criminals,
hundreds of them.
The estimated savings
were in the trillions.
(dramatic music)
- How come you went
from current to former?
- It's complicated.
- We got f*cked, hard.
You ever heard of
Roberto Salazar?
- [Investigator] None
of this is relevant.
- Salazar?
- [Jake] Speaker of
the f*cking House.
- And complete piece of sh*t.
- Back when Salazar
was just a governor
fighting for name recognition,
our algorithm picked up
one of his major donors
as a concern,
correctly, I might add.
But while our system
was mining the data
needed to prosecute him,
we also picked up a little
additional private info.
- Like who he was
pounding, besides his wife,
and all the freaky ways
he was pounding 'em.
- Let me guess.
Somehow Salazar found out who
was shaking his money tree
and put the screws on you.
- Made it the crux of
his reelection campaign.
Police overreach, who
polices the police?
Press ate it up.
The director resigned,
guys got demoted.
- And Achilles got buried deeper
than a d*ck in
your mom's as*h*le.
- Which is when you began
plotting your revenge
against America.
- It's when someone
started planning
their revenge against us.
I think one of our past
targets is finally hitting back
and together we could figure
out who like old times, Megan.
- Look, there's something
you gotta know first.
(vehicle crashing)
(both yelling)
(militia vocalizing)
- Took out the engine block.
- I thought this b*tch had level
a million armor or something.
- It does, only a depleted
uranium round can defeat it.
- Goddammit.
- [Militia] I'm
not asking again.
- Hey, as*h*le, hold your fire.
- We're not gonna be able to
hold 'em off from in here.
I'll distract 'em, you go.
- [Militia] Kimber, is that you?
- Not if you keep
shouting, it won't be.
- You know these guys?
- That's what I was
trying to tell you.
Raj got me a ride
and I was gonna talk to
them to get you one too.
- When?
- Right now.
- No, no, when did
he book the ride?
- I don't know, earlier
when you were in the trunk.
He didn't want you going
on account of that
data sh*t you got,
but I said I ain't
leaving you behind.
- [Militia] Kimber!
- I'm coming!
- No, you're not.
Come no.
(Megan yelling)
- Jake! Goddammit.
f*cking off.
- Having your back.
(g*nf*re bangs)
(Megan screaming)
- [Megan] Oh, no!
Oh, no!
(dramatic music)
(ambience voices vocalizing)
- [Speaker] It not
him. (vocalizing)
Just off her and
be done with it.
Sorry, love.
(Megan gasping)
(g*nf*re banging)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
it's me, a*s Lips.
Had me worried for a second.
- Me?
You're the one pulling that
baby Jesus resurrection sh*t.
- No, no, no, the
blood bags from Laos.
You remember how
great they worked.
Look, we've been ambushed
enough for one day.
I figured I'd pull my own.
How do you know?
(g*nf*re bangs)
(Jake thuds)
(Megan gasping)
- I messed up.
I mentioned the data
he was carrying.
Only person that would
know he was carrying it
would be the person
who set him up.
- You're kidding. Raj?
He's behind all this?
- You're surprised as I was.
- Motherfuck. You.
You're the one who set us up.
- Well, redneck Nancy
Drew cracks the case.
What exactly gave me
away, sweet cheeks, huh?
The literal smoking g*n?
(foot thuds)
(Jake yelling)
- No!
- Ooh, little miss potty
mouth catch feelings.
- I'm gonna k*ll you.
- Me?
Wait, you mean like the Irish
Intelligence Officers, huh?
'Cause I count
about eight, nine.
Add to that the South
African Security Forces
you took out at the airport.
Russian soldiers Jakey boy here
encountered at the apartment
and probably makes you the
world's most wanted couple.
- Why?
(foot thudding)
(Jake yelling)
- Stop!
(Jake groaning)
(Raj chuckling)
- Seeing that you asked,
money.
About 20 million, to be exact.
- Some slap d*ck paid
you that much to off us?
(Megan yells)
- Oh god, that mouth.
Won't miss it.
Actually the money was
just to frame you guys.
The whole k*lling you part,
that was just the
icing on the cake.
Where are we now?
(Jake groaning)
Front pocket, really?
- Frame us for what?
- Stealing the
Achilles algorithm.
Oh god, and it was so easy.
You see, little Meg here,
she was so broken and
lost after the breakup.
She just needed a
little bit of attention.
Let her think she
was in control.
She would've done anything,
even attempt an
impossible mission.
But you...
(Jake yelling)
(g*n clunking)
Had one ridiculous chance
to get your active
duty status back
and your wife are willing to
throw to rest your life away?
(Jake gasping)
It's the Feds.
See I told them that
I'm gonna do my best
to try and keep you both
alive for prosecution, but.
Freeze! (laughing) I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. I'm not.
You're not gonna make it.
Any last words?
- Yeah.
(intense music)
f*ck you.
(horn beeps)
(expl*si*n booming)
Jake, Jake.
Jake.
- I guess this means
you're single now.
- No.
Never got divorced.
(Jake chuckling)
(door banging)
(footsteps clomping)
- It's all right, boys.
I'm not going
anywhere anytime soon.
(gentle music)
- So, let me get this straight.
You two worked a
top secret detail.
- Project Achilles.
- Where you exposed
potential cyber threats.
- Until the man bent us over.
- And now, years after
it was shut down,
this Raj prick, he framed you.
- Sneaky b*tch.
- Stole our technology.
- And was hoping to use your
death to tie up any loose ends.
- That's the story.
- I believe you.
- Good. You sure?
- Quite big conspiracy.
- It is.
- Who played Raj?
I mean, what did they what?
(Senior Investigator Gary thuds)
- Hmm.
- That was rude.
What's in this water?
- Officially?
Compound PX 457,
a powerful anesthetic
agent that leaves no trace.
(camera beeps)
And your body has no
chance of combating it.
It's known as the
perfect weapon,
or as I like to call it,
night-night juice.
- Jen. Hey, it's Jen.
I don't think she
likes you very much.
What are you doing here?
- Victor Reynolds.
Surely you remember,
he was one of Project
Achilles' first targets,
powerful judge in DC.
He didn't end up being
a cyber criminal,
but he did like
the underage girls,
a lot of them,
allegedly, of course.
The problem is that Mr.
Reynolds recently decided
to parlay his talent and
connections into a run for
office.
Impressive position.
Rhymes with mongress.
So, we can't risk the proof
of a few dozen pesky
past indiscretions
falling in the wrong hands,
now, can we, huh?
- Mm-mm.
- Here, why don't you hold this?
Okay, yeah, right.
(g*nf*re bangs)
Good job.
Thank you.
(g*nf*re banging)
Now, the official story is
that you two simpletons
went rogue, got caught,
and I gunned you both
down during an escape.
Yay, me. (laughs)
- What was it?
- What was that, sweetums?
- I just, I...
- Shh, shh, shh,
shh, don't worry.
I'll still pray for you.
- You chose the
wrong simpletons.
(g*n clattering)
- Looking for this?
- [Jen] How did you?
Swiped it off Gar Bear
when he was all hopped up
in your night-night juice.
And as far as resisting
your weak-a*s poison...
- Standard antigen repressor,
best medicine for
whatever ails ya.
- Actually, it's
less of a medicine
and more of a negation
agent receptor blockade,
but you get the idea.
- So what now? Turn me in?
Hope the world believes
your story instead of mine,
because it's not gonna happen
because you're an inbred
trailer trash b*tch.
(fist pounding)
- Oh.
- Jesus, the mouth
on that one, huh?
Well, day is safe, data's safe,
lying f*ck that double
crossed us are neutralized.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Froyo!
k*ll her?
- Froyo?
Why would we k*ll her?
- Why would we get froyo?
- To celebrate not
going to prison
by doing something that
won't send us to prison.
- You f*cking fun, governor?
- Why am I a fun governor?
Because I won't let
you k*ll someone?
- Because you won't
let me do nothing.
Megan, don't touch that.
Megan, don't sh**t her.
Megan, don't throw
a severed head
into my lap when I'm driving.
- Are you done?
(arm thuds)
- Ah!
- Now I'm done.
(g*nf*re bangs)
(intense music)
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Exes (2025)
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