16x08 - 1987 Renault 5 GT Turbo

[bunniefuu]

Car logos. If you're
going to pick an animal, no

prizes for guessing the
horse is the most popular.

Ooh, it doesn't look that good.

This is the one you might want to forget.

Ooh, this is a poverty spec, V6, 4 litre.

But when a friend in need calls you asking
for help, well, you can't say no, can you?

What's Anne going to say?

Tell him there's a stiff drink in it.

But if we combine our
talents... What does that mean?

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Life is full of challenges
and sometimes it

helps to know you're not
alone when facing them.

There are people out there that can help.

You know, I'm a lucky guy,
not because of my movie-style

good looks or my charm,
no, it's because of my job.

I get to go out there and find
cars, rescue them, give them a new

lease of life, get them into the
hands of people that want them.

Boy, we've had our share over the years.

I'm on my way to go and
see a car that comes from

the land of the Riving
Sun, even the Riving Sun.

You know, people often ask
me, what is a modern classic?

It's the Mazda MX-5.

The smart money is
going to be in an Audi S4.

The Adatsun 240Z.

Nissan 300ZX.

It's a 2001 Saab 93.

This is the KN that you mentioned.

Wow.

The CJ.

The CJ standing for Civilian G.

It's like a public service,
also, because I do go and help

people make the right decisions
on the cars that they want.

I love it. It's brilliant.

I'm not saying that I deserve
an MBE or anything like that, but

if you're watching Marm, you
know, a nod is as good as a wink.

Well, I've got a colleague.
He's called Liam.

He's one of the editors,
actually, of this show,

Wheeler Dealers, and
he's been with us a while.

He's a Brit, living in America,
and like me, when I first got here,

he got himself all excited, and he
went and bought himself a Ford Mustang.

Problem is, I think Liam has let
his one, well, just get a little bit sad,

and he's asked me if I
would take a look at it

and see if there's
anything I can do to help.

You know?

What did I say about paying it forward?

If you're watching Marm, you know,
that MBE would look good on me.

What's an MBE, you ask?

Some might think it's an
honour given by the Queen,

member of the most excellent
order of the British Empire.

I simply think of it as
Mike Brewer's excellence.

Oh, it doesn't look that good.

Your Majesty, I might have to
upgrade myself to a knighthood.

Liam.

Mike.

How are you, bud?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Oh, look, it says cute on the back
of the car, and it looks anything but.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

Ooh.

Ah.

How? Why?

What's this?

I just moved to LA.

I thought, let's get an American
muscle car settled on the Mustang.

Ended up with that.

You said a muscle car?

It's not a muscle car.

This is a poverty spec, V6,
four litre, not the V8, five litre.

You've gone and bought the worst
Mustang you could possibly get,

but that doesn't matter, as long
as you've done your job right.

Where did you find it from?

I got it from an Internet auction.

Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah, that's not a bad thing
to do, Internet auction site.

You can buy a bargain on those sites.

So you went and inspected it, right?

I did not.

Okay.

You sent somebody else to
go and check it over for you?

No, I didn't, but the picture
looked good, so I thought... What?

The what?

Liam Hooper.

Seriously, let me get this right.

Right, you work on the show that's written
a rule book on how to buy and sell a car.

I've been showing you for
decades on how to buy and sell a car,

how to do it properly.

You sit in an edit suite,
you edit the show together,

you sit and you watch
me repeatedly doing

the same thing over
and over and over again,

and yet here you are with
this heap of crap in front of me

that you haven't used one lesson
and you've just gone and bought this.

Yeah, I don't feel too good about it.

Well, don't feel bad if
you bought it for a bargain,

because if you paid just a few
hundred bucks for it, you'd be fine.

How much did you pay for it?

£6,000.

It's hurt me more than it's hurt you.

You paid £6,000.

How much did we pay for it?

How about if I told you we
paid less than £5,000 for it?

$4,500.

£8,500.

Yeah!

Seven grand.

It's less than £15,000?

Yeah, I only paid for this car $7,000.

£5,000 for all of this.

Is that good?

What do you mean, is it good?

I gave $9,500 for it.

Now what do you say?

Seven grand.

You paid seven grand for that?

$7,000.

You paid seven grand for this?

Yes, if this face looks smug, that's
because it feels smug right now.

Wow.

Oh, I feel a bit funny.

Oh, God, I feel... And I'm
not the one that's taking

the wound here, it's
you that's taking the kick.

I know, I know.

And I'm the one that's feeling a bit...

Six grand.

$6,000.

I know how many times I say
it's not going to get any better.

Still hurts.

OK, well, look, how on earth
did you spend $6,000 on that?

Because it just looks like, dare I say,

it looks like a piece of crap.

You say the pictures look good?

What about this damage
on the front side here?

I think the pictures
were taken from that side.

This is one of those classic
mistakes that people make.

I mean, look at the damage here.

This wing has been hit so hard.

Look, that's a tell-tale sign.

I can get my finger in this gap here, but
I can't get my finger in the gap up there.

That means that this car's had a whack in
this corner and it's pushed the wing out.

If it's pushed the wing out that far, it
could have damaged the inner wing.

If the inner wing is damaged,
you're in all kinds of trouble.

That's a new front end on the
car, and you might as well junk it.

The front end of this car has
got to be completely repainted,

although the wings, the doors and
the rear quarter are laser-straight.

No signs of accident damage.

There's something
wrong with that, isn't there?

Is it me? That just looks
like it's sat down at the rear.

It looks like one of those
dogs you see in the park,

you know, when it's got to scratch its
bum and it drags its arse across the floor.

That's exactly what that looks like.

Ha-ha!

Oh, look at that.

Look at that.

Whoa!

Look at that.

Oh, look at that.

Ta-da!

Wow!

Right, well, you never go and buy a
car without checking under the b*llet.

Oh, look, it's loose as well.

OK.

Well, let's see what we're looking at here.

You can see it hasn't been well cared for

because there's the
National Forestry Commission

on what is left behind all
up on top of the dashboard.

There is one shiny part.

It's had a new alternator,

so there's been a recent
bit of work done to it.

Can I fire it up?

Go right out.

There's a definite blow
coming from the header.

I can hear that.

That's right there, and
that'll have to be fixed.

Ah, a little squeak coming from a belt.

And it looks nice and dry.

Right, well, let's get it out on the road,

see what it drives like.

This is an inner wing.

That is an inner wing.

Or, as they say here in America, inner...

Oh, come on, Liam.

How long have you been
working on this show?

Fender, inner Fender.

Fender.

Right, so the inner
Fender are these two bits.

If they're damaged, you
can walk away from the car.

So what you've got to do is
you've always got to check

to make sure that
they're nice and straight.

It's what the engine sits on.

And if they're buckled and
dented or twisted in any way,

the engine will be off center.

You're going to get
vibrations through the car.

The car's going to tramline or
crab as it goes down the road.

It'll never drive right.

This, that's the slam panel.

It's a slam panel because,
obviously, it's a panel at the front

that's going to take a slam
at some point in his life.

You want to make sure that
it's an original slam panel.

You can do that by checking
things like, you know,

the shape of it, see where
the bolts have been bolted down

to see if they look like they've
been taken off and new bolts put in.

You know, the paintwork on these
cars, I can see little dents in the doors.

You need to get yourself down at eye level.

You know, you need to be at this level here

where you can see any
obscure marks that go down

the side of the car
so you're at this angle.

That's why you never see people
taking pictures of cars at this angle

because it's just going to
reveal too much, like this one.

This car has got quite possibly the
worst extra I've ever seen on any car.

Lug nuts and knock-offs
all at the same time.

So, inside, these Mustangs
are usually quite good inside.

They've got a nice
durable interior, nice leather,

air-conditioning radio.

Yeah.

Door card is hanging
off, the seat looks busted,

the headwear's missing, the
leather looks shot to pieces,

the vent's broken up on
the dashboard as well.

Oh, look at those seats.

Those seats are really nasty.

So, those are the original lamb
seat covers that I had from the owner.

You know the thing that's really
exciting about this interior, though?

It's these seats.

This is the Levi's edition.

It's got the Levi's buttons
that you'll get on your jeans.

Right.

The leather is worn away in the bolster.

The interior's a bit of a wild colour.

Seems to be covered in red Draylon.

So, what's it sound like?

It sounds OK, yeah.

What's it drive like?

It drives OK, while it drives.

What? What do you mean?

It made it most of the way here, and
I had to get towed the last two miles.

Sorry, why? What happened to it?

I think the gearbox.

Oh, shut up.

Seriously.

No, you bought me a car that you
said you wanted a little bit of help with.

I'm willing to pay it forward

and to pay you back for having
to endure me in the edit suite,

but seriously, you want me to do
something with this and repair the gearbox?

So, what are we going to do to it?

Can you just sprinkle some mic magic on it?

And with a car like Liam's,

you don't have to get the
under-wheel to know it's in trouble.

But it's only on the first test drive
that you really get to know a car.

Are we straight on the right here, Nick?

I love the sound it makes,
that turbo gulping in.

Oodles of air.

Oodles of power.

Oodles and oodles of grip.

You get younger every
time I see you, David.

God, you get younger every time I see you.

Oh, come on.

A little hug, but with a fall.

Bad one, yo.

We can do that.

Everything f***ing worked.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Sexy.

He's going to need more than mic magic.

And what's Hank going to say?

Tell him there's a stiff
drink in it for me, David.

Stiff drink.

You are going to need an
Olympic-sized swimming pool.

You're going to need to fill it with drink.

We're going to have to push him in, leave
him in there for a bit, swimming around.

And then we might be
able to get him to work

on it, but this is
going to be a big job.

And if we pull this one off for you,

well, then the agreement is you've
got to make me look like Brad Pitt.

You got a deal.

Hold out your hand.

Nice one.

Well done, Liam.

Hey, Lucy got your...
It's not even chrome.

Look, it's not even chrome.

It's plastic and it's broken.

This car is a bag of s***.

Yep, that's my name.

Mike?

Mike?

Yes, that's me.

What's my name?

That's my name, even.

Mike?

Yeah, that's my name.

What is this?

Piece of s***, innit?

I ain't got it the other day.

Yes, what's happened?

We're doing your single.

Oh, I thought you'd done it.

Oh, we're never going to get through today.

Today is never going to happen, is it?

Right, ready for your single?

No!

F*** sake!

I've been up and down more times
and Joan Collins is under neck crackers.

Perfect.

This is a Mustang.

Got it the other day.

It's going to make me look like Brad Pitt.

Yeah, yeah, I can see it's a Mustang.

It looks like a rather average
mid-2000s V6 clogging up my run.

That's because it is a
rather average mid-2000 V6

and it's in a proper old state.

Right, so this is the
moment where you take me

into the dark recesses of your own
mind and explain why this is here.

Because, ah, up there is nothing
but sunshine and green fields.

Beep, beep.

What the f***?

Sixteen years we worked together

and you're asking me if I can
actually hit the spot of driving.

Alright, we've all had a drink.

We've all had a drink.

Calm down.

Beep, beep.

Look at the car.

Yes!

Look what I bought for us.

Yes!

Everyone loves a sub.

Mikey, yes!

Twin turbos, baby!

Me and you are gonna
enjoy every minute of this.

Yes!

Yeah, once you get
in it, it drives like s***.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You've been working out?

I'd prefer you got a little lower.

You've been working out, Glen?

Okay.

Let me get rid of him here.

No, I'm okay, Michelle.

I've got Glen to do it for me.

It's really nice.

Glen.

eBay.

This is all ripped.

All ripped jeans are in at the moment.

Everyone's wearing them.

All of that nonsense
that you hear people say

in their hairdressers'
cars, it's rubbish.

Nice one, Scott.

Shall I hold your little
Christmas crackers for you?

I'll call it fair lady.

Thank God he didn't go and see Cinderella,

otherwise it'd be known
as the Datsun Cinderella.

I was only prepared emotionally
to go up to the hard top.

Sounds like it.

But me and you f****d it.

So this is like a pro bono gig, right?

Yeah, it's like paying it forward.

But, you know, I certainly
didn't choose the car.

I didn't want the car.

I didn't buy it.

And I'm certainly not selling it.

That sounds like some sort of
anonymous car salesman's new mantra.

So if you didn't choose it, and
I'm kind of glad we're not selling it,

you don't mind if I'm going
to be brutally honest, then?

Like, usually you hold it back.

Congratulations, you've just
bought a Porsche Money Pit.

That is a boost cage.

Yeah, well, I hope
that our... Solution?

Our solution involves a rubbish bin.

These wheels, they're rubbish.

Yeah, they're not the
right wheels for the car.

Yeah, it looks like an old man's car.

That's why I like it, see?

It's completely pointless.

Look, I'll probably put a
football down the back of those.

It offends my eyes.

All I'm going to say
is that there's enough

material in your jeans
to, what, trim a whole bus.

Oh, that was cruel.

They want you to call it a Saab 9-3.

I'm going to stop you there,
guys, because I can't see mine.

Well, good.

That's a good thing, isn't it?

Is that a good thing?

If we care about ratings, we're doing OK.

What's the best place it
could be out of those three?

Nowhere.

Yeah, look at that.

See when this new toy yard got you?

It's fantastic, isn't it?

It's not so bad, is it, after all?

What?

No, it's just some codes, isn't it?

Once you reset them, Bob's drunk,

or we kick it back out the door.

Are you kidding me?

Obviously, we've got
issues here, issues here.

We've got the delayed coil battery short,

the voltage out of range, the stop lamp
circuit, left rear side repeater lamp output.

But I get it.

The way you say it, it sounds
really bad, but it's not that bad.

Yeah, but I haven't finished.

The list goes on.

We've got front part lamp
output battery voltage short,

the rear right back up lamp short, high
mount stop lamp... As I said, I can read.

I can see it.

It looks pretty bad, but
don't let it worry you.

Are you a cup half full or a
cup half empty kind of guy?

I like to think I'm a
cup half full kind of guy.

Excellent.

Do you want a cup of tea?

Yes.

I'll have a little Julie Andrews.

Would you?

A white nun on its way.

I mean, the audio control's out, the
satellite system's out, the interest...

I mean, there's just so much.

Stop stick.

Mechanically, this is
a really well-sorted car.

Excuse me.

In my kit!

What does that mean?

It means, oh, my God!

Anyway, listen, I got
your suspension mouth.

Happy?

Well, got a few, you know, bank
problems, but other than that, I'm OK.

OK, that's it.

It's like a glove.

It is like a glove.

It's a little bit, well, snuck.

Like a tight glove.

I'm sure over my years of being around
MX-5s, they've definitely got smaller.

It's hardly b*llet, is it?

No, definitely not.

You know, this one was bought with a heart

and sometimes the
heart, well, it rolls ahead

and sometimes it even pushes that little
button that says Buy on the keyboard.

And sometimes you end up biting the b*llet.

Internet purchases should
be approached with caution.

They say pictures are
worth a thousand words,

but sometimes pictures
aren't good enough.

So you went and found this
one on an Internet auction site.

So what happened?

We spent $11,500, and once we got it home,

a whole different story.

You can see it splits here.

It's really gone on the driver's seat.

Big hole underneath here,

which is where this ball
of rust is coming from.

There's a big hole in the floor here.

Some bathroom sealant
running all the way down

the car here between
the two joints of the panels,

yet again to disguise the rust
that would have been in that cap.

See, what they've done
is they've been sharks.

They've done something really naughty.

This is a warning for people out there.

I mean, they should know it's buyer beware.

If you're going to click with a
mouse and you're going to buy a car,

at least go and stand in front of it or
send a mechanic or somebody to inspect it.

Oh, put that thing away.

Let's ignore the computer
and get into it proper.

Proper?

Yes!

A diagnostic tool can
only tell you so much.

What we need to do is
get intimate with the car,

get down and dirty with it.

That way it'll reveal its true story.

I thought it looked bad on the outside

and it turns out it's actually
even worse on the inside.

That's just made up of filler.

Yeah.

This is the bit that's caused
me the biggest problem.

Now, frustratingly, it only takes
about 30 seconds to fit two bolts.

But, of course, that's only
possible on the back of

an entire day in the
workshop to get to this stage.

But now it's all open and accessible,

I can turn my attention to prevention.

Starting off with that oil seal.

Ooh!

It's a lot, isn't it?

But here, I mean, that's in a bad way.

Cooey!

This centre gasket
here, that is also leaking.

It's now quite obvious
where it's coming from.

Right, well, I'm going to have to
start stripping the engine down a bit.

The fixes are never straightforward.

There's always something in the way.

And to get to Liam's
transmission is no exception.

Oh, yes, look at that!

The drive shaft's nicely straight.

Oh, yeah, look at that exhaust!

That looks factory fresh, doesn't it?

Isn't that nice?

Do you know what?

If people listened to me, the world
would be full of much better cars.

And what would you say?

I would say to make sure
you get underneath first.

So, obviously, you're
underneath this car, right?

I'm underneath it right now.

What do you expect?

You know, we don't get many
of these back at home, do we?

What, Mustangs?

No, automatic gearboxes.

You know what that is?

No doubt you're going
to tell me a story now.

Oh, it's always a story to be told, yes.

So, tell us a little bit about
the car, how long you had it?

I've owned it for three years.

Why are you getting rid of it?

Well, I have another fun
car, and I don't really need to.

I feel like I'm having
a little midlife crisis.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm at the point
in my life where I

feel like I need to be
a bit more responsible.

You really are having a midlife
crisis if you want to get rid of this car.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Mike.

We just tricked this on Trade In.

It's quite a special car.

They're always special when
you're trying to sell them, aren't they?

I've been looking for one of
these cars for absolutely years.

Cars are often used as
currency to pay off debts.

This is very common within
trades, from car dealerships

to body shops to even
legends like Gene Winfield.

So, what's the story behind it?
How have you got the car?

Well, the guy owed me ten grand,
and then I settled for nine, and

still couldn't get the money out
of him, so I took the damn car.

And when I'm out making
my deals, our little worker

bee, Ant, is busy pulling
things back at the shop.

The Mustang's gearbox is out, and in
so many bits, it'll make your head spin.

But, fortunately, Ant has a way with words.

Now, this here, this is
the torque converter, and

the way it works is,
well, it's kind of magic.

Magic's not magic at all.
It's a brilliant bit of engineering.

Because inside here,
there's a pair of opposing

fan turbines, and then
it's all filled with fluid.

Now, one turbine's driven by the
rotation of the engine off the crankshaft,

and it's the fluid in the housing that
motivates the second turbine to turn.

It's a sort of fluid coupling,
or a fluid-based clutch.

Yeah, I could have told you all of that.

You love these Anson
encyclopedic moments, don't you?

Now, this, this is called the valve body.

It's a proper maze of pathways and channels
for hydraulic fluid to travel down.

See, the fluid travels
within these to either

actuate open or closed
gears within the transmission.

That's how an automatic transmission works.

Oh, come on! This is so boring!

Everyone loves a manual gearbox.
So much simpler.

Now, this, this is the reverse gear,
and it's known as a drum and belt.

See, while the
vehicle's driving forward,

the belt's loose. The
drum's rotating inside.

What have I got to order?
Just tell me what I've got to order.

If you place it in reverse, a pin activates,
tightening the belt around the drum,

and hey, Preston, you're
going to drive backwards.

I mean, who comes up with this stuff?

You see these? These are called sprags.
They're actually a one-way bearing.

And not only are the sprags really
badly worn, but this plastic bearing...

All of this just to tell me we need
some sprags. I'll get you some sprags.

Yeah, we're going to need more than sprags.

I mean, if we're going
to put this back together

properly, I'm going to need
a whole load of new parts.

Well, I'll add it all to the list,
and I'll get you some sprags.

Sprags. Great word, isn't it? Sprags.

Sprags is a great word.

Happy? Happy?

How was that, Henrik?

Because I've just got this thing around me.
It won't leave me alone.

Get away.

Spasm, everyone.

It's not a spasm.
I keep getting this fly just...

This car is lower than a snake's belly.

Do you know what? We're getting a big, big
pin noise because the f*** bonnet's open.

So, do you need anything else?

Yeah, there's that huge list of codes.

From a diagnostic? Yeah, I remember.

Well, it's all up there in a noggin, innit?
All well catalogued.

Up there for thinking,
down there for dancing.

Of course it is.

Actually, while you're at it, can you add
a set of plugs and HT leads to that list?

Plugs and HT leads, yeah, done.

Better get some pads and discs as well.

Pads and discs? You've got
anything a little bit more challenging?

I mean, it's like asking Michelangelo
to come round and paint your shed.

Come on, hit me with your best shot.

The truth is, artists gravitate towards
other artists, and that's what I do.

I bring our canvas to
other artists to paint on.

You know when I bought the Datsun Roadster?

Gee, CJ7.

This M300ZX. Not ZX, ZX.

Absolutely.

Saab 93. Audi S4 Avant.

The Mazda Speed.

I've been searching around on the Internet.

On the Internet, clicking my
mouse online, you'd only want $700.

And I can find some.
They are out there,

but the seats aren't
actually made of denim.

There's only a couple
of people in the world

willing to tackle the
problem of fixing them.

And one of them happens
to be a friend of mine.

He's called Klaus.

Part of what makes me smile every
day are the people I get to meet.

And that's him here.

Here he is.

David, Lee, Brian, Klaus.

You're looking younger
every time I see you.

All the tradesmen that bring
life to our automotive world.

You know what?
If anyone can rescue them, you can.

Give me some good news, what my ram's like.

Is there any chance that
if you have got something,

I could just sort of
take it off your hands?

We do run a business here,
so I'll work out a trade with you.

You do some of the quality control
for us, and I'll go get that exhaust.

I'm after a set of Mazda Speed wheels.

Could you not consider selling them?

How long you been going now?
How many years you been doing this?



How many years, Raul?

Raul, 30 years.



So David, have you ever done this before?

No.

Well, you do it sections
at a time, so... Right, okay.

Yes.

While you're doing that, I can
shake this for you, if you like.

Yeah.

So you have to put solder in it as well.

Exactly.

It's not built in.

That's fantastic.

You can get it nice and straight
and even between the two.

That's brilliant.

Where would you like it, Raul?

Careful.

Be careful with that thing, mate.

Warm it up.

Nice and warm.

Close this.

Let me push the shaft in.

Close the door, push the button,
and the machine does the job for us.

All the way around.

Well, this is a new little
trick that I've learned.

This will be great.

If this works, this will be fantastic.

Would you take $600?

I couldn't do six.

I bought cash with me today as well.

Nice.

Well, you know what they say.

If you can do this, David,
the winner takes it all.

That is exceptional.

That is absolutely fantastic.

I love that stitching.

All right.

It really stands out.

Nice and straight.

All right.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that.

All lights up.

Lovely.

I couldn't do $600.

How about nine?

The details matter, Lee.

Come sale time.

That's what I always say.

Yep.

Here it is.

Look at that.

That's nice.

Oh, no more, Karl, please.

Whoa.

No.

This looks like a proper
secondhand exhaust system.

Is this the one, then?

This is it.

Make it seven, and we've got a deal.

$800, and I give you
a run around the track.

Oh, right.

Yeah, I'll have that deal.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

And again, buddy, you've
pulled out all the stops for me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for your dance.

We are done.

Listen, that is just like music to my ears.

Now we've got this
done, we can just crack on.

I really appreciate it.

I feel that I'm in a bit of credit, so if
you don't mind, my back's broken.

Come and help me load this in the car.

Oh, yeah, nice.

Oh, it's looking painful.

No amount of imagination is going to
make these numbers look any prettier.

This car, well, it's
getting a little bit spendy.

What are we going to do about the body?

Nothing.

Nothing?

No, nothing.

You know, Liam, he
likes to play bumper cars.

with the shopping trolleys
in the supermarkets,

and nothing that's going to
cost us any money anyway.

I might throw a bucket of water over it.

OK.

You know, at the end of the day, a bumper,

well, it's there to do one job, isn't it?

It's there to bump.

And that's what it's there for.

But it's not like the old 80s bumpers.

Once you had a little dent
in those, it was there for life.

Like this plastic, stuff Springs back.

Yeah, that's because of the
advancement in plastic technology.

You see, these modern bumpers
are so super lightweight and thin

that if they take a prang, they actually
stand a chance of springing back.

They act more like rubber.

It's called acting elastically.

If, though, you prang it too far,

then it will never be able to bounce back.

It acts plastically, in which
case you've got to repair it

with Plastic World, or
better still, a new bumper.

Yeah, what a shame, eh?

What a shame metal
don't behave like plastic,

because something
like this... Ooh!

You might want to buff that out.

Don't look. Don't look.

Look somewhere else.

Don't worry.

Wow.

And then it's...

It's amazing how far this
car's gone when I remember.

He's so c*ck it hurts.

Where did the 12-inch socket go?

Just easy. Just calm down.

Thank you very much for
reminding me about my...

...paunch, and the corporation
that is now bolted to the front of me.

But there's nothing I can do about it.

The shopping list is only getting longer.

We've got diagnostic
issues with the airbags.

PCMs done. ABS also has issues.

You've got module issues.

Look, delay, relay, coil, battery short.

From basic tune-up needs to the tr*nny.

What else could this little Mustang need?

Right, so we need... OK.

...one of those as well.

Have it.

And we're going to need one of these.

I'll order one of them.

And we're certainly
going to need one of these.

Nails!

What do you need? Two-inch? Four-inch?

I can order those.

Look, toenail clippings.

Have they got nail Polish on them?

Mike, there's toenails in the car.

I'm saying that.
They could be Liam's, couldn't they?

He's an Englishman living in LA.

Mike, there's peanuts on the floor.

The door card's ripped.

The headlining is kind of
strangely and suspiciously smudged.

Don't panic.
I'm waiting on a call-back from somebody

who gets a nice new interior,
fresh carpets, new seats.

No, no, no. It needs more than that.

This is going to need a
full clean inside and out.

Liam reckons he had this
car detailed three times.

This car's been detailed?

So he said, yeah.

I mean, it is like I need a
tetanus just sitting there.

It is kind of horrible, isn't it?

But don't worry about it.

There's toenail clippings in the car.

I know, I got it, I got it.

But nothing an old car dealer can't fix up,

because once you get new
interior in, it's like, you know,

putting on a little bit of Old Spice,
you know, changes the senses.

The only sense that needs
changing is Liam's common sense.

I'll add that to the list.

Some common sense.

Yeah, done.

There's nothing quite like the feeling
of turning that final corner on a project.

Job done.

And I didn't break any plastic.

It has been a real joy
working on this Mazda,

when all the heavy lifting's behind you.

You know, Mike really has
a gift for picking these cars.

I'd never tell him that, though.

The moment before, you enjoy the fruits
of your labour and can almost taste it.

The pedals are now
completely usable in this car.

This Jeep is going to blow Mike's mind.

Well, that'll definitely get
rid of that knocking noise

that Mike was experiencing.

I'm actually only going
to be using two tools.

This one, in case I go too
far, I can bang the panel back,

but most of the work is going
to be done by this rod here.

I can go through the
light hole into that cavity

between the inner part of
the car and the outer panel,

and then very, very slowly...

So, using the wooden mallet.

Blank card.

Behind the side here, there we go.

That was quite easy.

The Gauge actually fits perfectly in it.

And if I just check...

Whoo!

We've got a boost Gauge in a turbo car.

And to Mike, that's valuable.

Look, if you come
here, I'll explain, right?

Because 90% of all car work is done by you,

but it's the important


That's the stuff that people really
want to know about, that important 10%.

What?

Now for the science bit.

Right, you ready?

See, look, 90% of a car
build is done by you, right?

Then there's the 10% bit that's done by me,

but then when we're in England,
we have to add in the 20% VAT,

which is actually double that 10%, but if
you add that in, you end up with a figure.

You end up with a zero figure here,

but then you're going to go to


but you need to carry across that 10%.

That's the important bit.
That's the bit that I do.

But then saying that, I
think that that 10% figure

should be increased
because I seem to do, like,

that little bit of extra
work on the builds.

Then if I add in that 20% VAT,

that means somehow I'm doing


our car in total is like 130%,

and I would say that's
accurate of every single

one of our builds, and
that's the way this works.

Yada, yada. You get it?

What?

What do you think of the car?

I think the car looks great.

Yeah, look at that.

Look at the car.

I'm so pleased we've
done that front bumper.

That is amazing.

And I've got to tell you, nice touches.

Wow, look how clean that
is, how tidy that car looks.

Oh, and you have smashed that.

I don't know what I'm looking at here.

It looks fantastic.


that by 60, add in the 720,

then of course you've
got the California sales tax.

We need to put that on.

And then VAT back in England,

plus you have to account
for the exchange rate as well,

so once you calculate all
that together, you get to 7,980.

What's it worth?

On a good day, it's probably
worth about five grand.

Yeah, but what's ours worth?

Nothing, it's pretty
worthless at the minute.

Okay, I feel like you've
brought us a lost cause.

Here, why don't you vent?

Okay, lost cause might
have been a bit harsh,

but I don't think Mike always appreciates

how deep I have to dig at times
to save the almighty dollar or two.

The steering idler box
isn't available brand new,

so it only leaves one
choice, and that is to rebuild it.

Rebuilding it is not
as hard as you'd think.

Now luckily, there's a rebuild kit available,
and it's actually quite good value.

It's around $140.

That's a shade over 100 pounds.

I could send it off and get it rebuilt,

and it would start around $400,

so I get to save myself some cash.

There's only a few items in the kit.

There's a new shaft, a
couple of new metal bushes,

a new rubber seal, a rubber
dust cap, and a grease nipple.

Now not only were these new wings in stock,

on the shelf, literally around the corner,

they were only $159.

That's 120 pounds.

And look, they bolt straight in.

Now the great thing is,

putting new wings on the
car guarantees there's no rust.

These are obviously new and solid.

Plus, they even come
pre-prepared in this nice black primer.

They represent really good value.

The answer to the problem.

Crucially, the reason why
this aftermarket part is so good.

is that this splits in
half, which means I don't

need to take the drive
shaft out of the car.

The whole kit is $400.

It's quite expensive,

but it does also come with a new Guibo.

The brake kit is only
$400, around 300 quid.

I pack the wheel bearing in grease.

and insert it into the hub,

then gently tap in the oil
seal with a rubber mallet.

This isn't doing its job.

This new valve seal is way more flexible.

It's going to sit around the valve
and act more like an umbrella.

It's going to protect it,
allowing the oil to hit this,

go down the sides, through the drain
away, back into the sump of the engine.

Now these little umbrellas are great,

but being made of rubber,

they do eventually deteriorate.

They harden and then they crack.

It's a pretty easy fit and
the whole kit is just $27.

That's about 20 quid.

I could have actually
done this the Porsche way

and miraculously it
would have been cheaper.

Only 200 bucks.

It's about 160 quid, but of course it
would have been loads more labour.

I would have had to have taken
the prop shaft down, pressed

the old bearing off and of
course pressed the new one on.

And afterwards I would have been
left with the same common problem.

The benefit of this aftermarket part is it
future-proofs the car for the next owner.

Well, the reason I bought...

Well, the reason...

Shh, Ramsay.

Ramsay, stop talking.

Just stop talking.

Try the newly-adjusted middle pedal.

Oh, ****.

You think they work?

Sorry.

Well, I've nipped into
a few of these dealers

to see if I can replace
the whole instrument.

Just easy, just calm down.

Test-driving a car after you've
completed the work is vitally important.

How would this feel to a prospective buyer?

Oh, hello, Miata.

The more you see us smiling,

the more professional we're being.

Like the man said,

dance like no-one is watching.

Where are you going?

Miata, does it? I don't know.

Well, unless we're going somewhere,

you're pointing the vehicle
in a certain direction.

Whoa!

My God, that is fun.

Oh, that is quick.

So what's better than this?

Me and you on the Pacific Coast Highway,

roof off, join a lovely little MazdaSpeed.

Oh, yeah!

Look at us two.

Look at us two.

Look at us.

I mean, just suck it in, sunshine.

Suck it in.

She's quite pokey.

It's great, innit?

The moment our show editor, Liam,
here dropped these Mustangs off to us,

I'll be honest with you, it
was a moment of despair.

Me and Ab, we thought we'd
pay it forward and go and work

on his car, but we didn't
realise the task ahead of us.

This car needed everything.

It needed bodywork,
interiors, seats, carpets.

It needed a new gearbox,
those stupid knock-off wheels.

And get this, it wasn't even a muscle car.

It was a V6, not a proper V8.

But with the work that me and Ant have done,
we have completely transformed this car.

I think it's going to be sort
of unrecognisable to Liam.

Let's see what he thinks.

So, Liam, do you remember
what car you brought us?

It was a blue Mustang V6, piece of crap.

It had a dent in the front Fender.

Yeah, it had toenail clippings inside.

It was a disgusting car.

And me and Ant, well, we've tested our skill
set to really transform the car for you.

We hope that we've managed to pull it off.

because this one has
been a real labour of love.

So I think you're going to be surprised.

Do you want to see it?

I would love to. Yeah? Yeah.

All right!

Right, here we go. Now you've got a car.

There you have it.

This one has got a smart interior,

an automatic gearbox that works.

We got rid of your dent,

we even changed those stupid knock-off
wheels, and we did a colour change for you.

Look at it.

You like it?

I like it. I love it.

It looks like a completely different car.

It's amazing.

Yeah, we've even added
an extra couple of cylinders.

He got a proper muscle car now.

It's a V8.

Why did you make him
look like a challenger?

It was a challenge.

You are correct.

To do this was very, very difficult for us.

It really was.

Can I take it for a spin?

Of course you can.

The keys are in the ignition.

You go and enjoy it.

Just make sure, Liam,
you make us look good.

Listen, when it's you two, it's easy.

Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

See you.

He does know that's a different car, right?

You know what?

I'm not too sure.

I know he edits this car show,

but I think he thinks one American
car is the same as another one.

He thinks that's his Mustang.

He can't do.

Well, he'll know when he opens the glove
box up and he sees the bill for it inside.

Don't worry.

I've got him a smoking deal.

It's a good, cheap car.

If you want to see more cars like
that being transformed by me and Ants,

then join us again soon
on Wheel Of Dealers.

Tala, fancy a nice cup of tea?

Yeah, I do.

Lovely, you deserve it.

Well, you could make 90% of it.

I'll do the other 10%.

That's how this works, isn't it?

Right, hold on a minute.

You're putting me under
a lot of pressure here.

Shall we deliver TV gold?

One more time, sorry, James.

Give my slow cameraman a
little chance to catch up, James.

No, no, save the money.

In fact, this is the first time I'm saying
don't spend the money and save the money.

Other stuff.

That's the reaction though.