01x08 - You Don't Have to Stare Into My Soul

[bunniefuu]

-Sammi has hemorrhoids.
-I don't.

-Sammi has crabs. [gasps]
-I don't.

-Sammy has a vag*na. [gasps]
-I do.

[tics]

Sir. Yes, sir.
Drop and f*ck off.

[Colin] I have a work
relocation from the military
coming up any day now.

I could end up anywhere.

When I am in training.
I can't take leave,

-and come and see you.
-f*ck it for real?

I don't want to do that.

-[tics]
-What if we live together?

Seriously?

Yeah.

Me and Colin are gonna
move in with each other.

I was quite aware that
this might present itself.

Just not today.

I can't say this enough.

Nothing better happen
to my kid.

She's my number one priority.

And I promise you that
I will do everything I can
to protect her.

-[Baylen yelps]
-Yep.

Okay, okay. It's okay.

I have tried several
different medications.

However, because
of the side effects,
they're not worth taking.

You can also do more invasive
processes like DBS, which is
deep brain stimulation.

They just, you know,
drill into your head.

[Julie] So your dad
and I talked.

And before the boys go back
to school, we're gonna do
a little family vacation.

Oh, my God,
where are we going?

We're gonna get
like a beach house.

-It'll be just
the eight of us.
-[screams]

When did that tic
start happening?

I've had it for about a week.

Maybe you would consider
a conversation
with a neurologist.

I'm willing to learn more.

I do want to ask your parents'
blessing to marry Baylen.

What if my dad is like,
"Not happening, bud."

I just wanted to actually come
and talk to you and Julie
real quick.

-Okay.
-[Colin] I would like to have
both of your blessings

to have your daughter's hand
in marriage.

[dramatic music playing]

[tense music playing]

[somber music playing]

I'm thinking, "Oh, God,
what if this is a no?"

[Allen] Um...

[stammering] Where or when
is this...

gonna take place, and where...

when you ask her?

I've been planning this
for a very long time.

-[Julie] Okay.
-[Colin] Um...

And I know that her dream
is to get proposed to
on a beach, so...

Um...

I would love to propose
to her, when you guys go
on your family trip.

I want your entire
family there.
Her siblings...

-I would like to have
my parents there as well.
-Oh!

[Allen]
Things are moving very fast.

Like, here, I am trying
to digest a proposal

that is going to accompany us
on our family beach vacation.
[chuckling]

-Hmm.
-And it looks like
there's gonna be

the potential in-laws
also coming...

Like, there's... there's...
It's all unfolding right here.

-I don't want it to be
this big crowd, but just...
-[Julie] Yeah.

...the people that mean
the most to us.

Immediate family.

It wasn't very long ago
that...

If you look back, Baylen
just wanted to move
out of the house.

It's moving day!

[Allen] And then it was,
"I wanna try
a couple of things."

-And then, knives showed up...
and bicycles, and...
-[Baylen tics]

[voice shaking] Now we're...
Now we got engagements
going on, and now I...

That... Yeah, it's safe to say
things are moving really fast.

It's like a runaway train
at this point. [laughing]

I mean... Oh... [sighs]

I do have a ring.

Would you guys like to see it?

Sure.

[Allen] You were hoping
we said yes?

-[Colin speaking]
-[Julie laughing]

I'm sorry.
What is it, glowing inside?

Good Lord, Colin.

The ring is completely
out of control.

That's, um, wow.

[Colin] I've been saving
for this ring
for about a year.

And I'm still gonna be
paying on it for a while.

[Julie laughing]

Did he take out
a small business loan?

-[laughing] What...
-I don't know.

Like he just came here
very prepared,
like we were just--

-Did he rob a jewelry store?
-[chuckling] Yeah.

It's super pretty.

-Absolutely.
-I love it.

You did a good job.

Thank you.

I mean...

I don't really
have an answer...

other than whatever
Baylen wants to do,

she's... she's
got our blessing.

[Colin] Allen gave
his blessing for Baylen

to decide on whatever
she would like.

And I respect that,
but also...

I...

am just confused.

I don't know, like, as a guy,
that's not what you're going

into that conversation
thinking that's how
it's gonna go.

I don't want her overwhelmed

with a lot of, like,
extra things...

on her plate.

I don't wanna add
extra pressure
or stress on to her,

and that's...
Me... Me wanting to
propose to her isn't

me saying, "Hey, I want
to get married next month."

-Mmm-hmm.
-[Colin] It's me
saying, "Hey--"

-"I won't quit on you."
-Exactly.

You're very good to Baylen,
and I know that Baylen
is madly in love with you.

We'll help you make your dream
proposal happen for Baylen.

[Colin] Well, thank you, guys.

Y'all really did set
the expectation really high.

And I promise
I'll be good to her.

It's sweet.

-[Colin] I know.
-It's a lot, though.

-I know it's a lot.
-[Julie] Yeah.

[Allen] At this point,
how do we even say no?

It would be very hurtful
to Baylen and Colin if we're
not there to support 'em.

She'll be very excited,
very happy.

[voice quivering]
They're gonna be
great partners.

They have great values.

They have a good family
to come back to.

-Hmm.
-There's so much about them
that's... so beautiful.

I think the first girl
is different.

And of course,
Baylen is very special.

So... it just makes everything
a little bit harder.

We got a vacation planned
in 2029.

-[laughing]
-Oh, my gosh.

-Allen...
-[chuckling]

-I'm just throwing it
out there. [sniffs]
-[Julie] That's so mean.

You drove all the way here
for this?

-Well...
-I'm glad that you came.

Me too.

[Julie] She has no idea.

Oh, Colin! Thanks for coming.

-Thank you, again,
for everything.
-Yes.

Congratulations, Colin.

-Okay?
-Thank you.

-[Allen] All right.
-[Julie] Oh, my gosh.

I felt like
I couldn't breathe in there.
I was super nauseous.

I knew that Allen was feeling
a lot of emotions.

Like I was taking
a daughter away from him,

and that's what I didn't
want it to feel like.

I don't want to hurt him.

[Julie] There's some
water and soda
in the fridge.

-Grab one for the way home
or whatever.
-All right.

I just want to marry Baylen.

All right,
y'all have a good night.

-[Julie] Bye, Colin.
-Bye.

[Colin] I know that Allen's
tough, and it's not his full
acceptance,

but it is a start.

[inhales]

-It's good.
-It's a beautiful thing.

It's nice that he's gonna put
a big rock on her finger

that says,
"I will not quit on you."
[laughing]

I just got back from
the Duprees' house
not too long ago.

One of the first things
that I did
was I talked to my parents

about booking flight tickets.

And I'm also thinking about
getting event planners.

This is a lot to plan,
and I think I'm gonna need
some help doing this.

Hey, Colin!

Hey, babe,
can you come here?

Why do you look
like you're in trouble, Fluff?
Where'd you poop?

Did you take a sh*t
somewhere, Fluff?

Are you okay?

f*ck!

Well, that one came
from a samurai movie.
[laughing]

f*ck!

If I choose a regular movie...

-Mike Tyson's bald!
-...they're gonna have
a bald person in there.

Or if I choose another one,
they're gonna be in British.

-And she's speaking...
-[in a British accent] Hello.

So it's like really hard
to, like, find a movie

that she's not gonna
tic about.

So my mom told me
that her and my dad

got me in to see
a neurologist in Boston.

-For?
-DBS.

My mom was able
to secure an appointment

with a neurologist in Boston.

I know that my parents
are excited to go

and learn more about
deep brain stimulation
surgery.

But it's a really
invasive surgery.

So...

I'm not really
the biggest fan of it.

So, I mean, obviously,
you know, kind of, where
I stand on DBS.

Like... I think DBS is I meant
for a last resort, like,

my Tourette's
is affecting my life so much
that I can't do anything.

And I don't think
that you're at that state.

-No, I completely
agree with you.
-Yeah.

-Baylen getting...
-b*tch.

...DBS,

it's really a risk and reward,
how I look at things.

And there's a lot of risk
to getting DBS.

You don't know the outcome
of the actual surgery.

You don't know if it's going
to help you or not.

Well, I wish that I would
be able to come with you
to Boston.

Unfortunately, I have
to work, so...

It'll be fine.

I'll let you know everything,
and I'll call you.

This is going to be
such a crazy week, Colin.

When I come back from Boston,

and then... [tics]

As soon as we get back,
I have to start packing

for our family vacation
to go to Ocean City.

Like...

So have fun.

[both laughing]

b*tch, f*ck!

[chuckling]

[Julie] To be honest with you,
I actually don't feel like
putting away dishes right now.

You're doing good. Keep going.

Cripes, Burkie.

Jeez, what are you doing?

[Burke] Getting
a cup of water.

-[Allen] Almost done.
-[Julie] Oh, it's been a day.

It's been a day.

Well, I'm glad
you're sitting down.

-Wait,
where are the little boys?
-[Burke] Why?

Your mother and I need
you guys to, like, be part
of this secret

so you can help us.

So...

There's no easy way
to say this.

But...

Yeah, after Colin told me
I went straight to Burke,
and told Burke,

for sure.

But I didn't tell my parents.

Because I didn't want
to spoil or ruin it.

Yeah, that's a good point.
It was such a big moment.

-Yeah.
-You just don't wanna,
kind of, spoil it.

-Like, it's just,
I don't know...
-[Julie] What?

Colin's got to relocate
to wherever he's going
at some point in their lease.

Well, how do you know that?

-[Sammi] Everybody knows that.
-[Julie] Mmm-hmm.

Whenever it is
that he's gotta do,
I'm sure it's going to be

within the next 14 f*cking
month lease
that they just signed.

And does he want a ring
on her finger to drag her
with him wherever he goes?

I know we can seem
pretty tough
on Colin sometimes,

but will Colin ever amount
to what we would do for Bay,

or the ends of the earth
that we would travel for Bay?

Would Colin ever do the same?

But I do think you can't just
keep judging him
and judging him.

You have to give him
a chance first.

It's a lot.

So, do both you guys
support the proposal?

I just said, I support
whatever Baylen's decision is,

and I respect Colin
for coming here

and speaking with your mother
and I about it,

and doing the things
that I would expect
another man to do.

[Burke] When my dad said
I support whatever decision
Bay wants,

he doesn't want
his opinions...

-To deter Baylen.
-...to, yeah, get in the way
of Baylen.

If Dad said no, I think Baylen
would absolutely spiral.

The last thing he wants
is to push anybody away.

Colin has taken
this, like, leap of faith,

and he has found somebody
that he doesn't want
to quit on.

Did he say anything
about when he's proposing?

-He knows that she would like
to be proposed to on a beach.
-He say the family trip?

[Allen]
So, what we're gonna do
is we're gonna try

and make what they want happen
without Baylen knowing.

[Sammi] Are we going
to the beach
for a vacation?

Or is this now
a proposal event?

Yes.

[Sammi and Julie laughing]

I think the beach proposal
makes sense
because Baylen told Colin

she wanted to get proposed
on a beach.

So, like, when other time
is the family going to be
together on a beach

-that isn't suspicious,
you know?
-Yeah.

So I think the timing
actually is pretty perfect.

But we have to keep it
a secret from Baylen.
So if it's...

You going with Baylen
to distract her for a while,

while we get things...

So, I'll go wedding dress
shopping with Bay tomorrow.

[Burke laughing]

[Julie] I'm super pumped
for Baylen.

And even though, of course,
Allen has some of his
fatherly reservations,

we're going to be there
to make it special for her.

But, we don't know
what all this will entail.

And it's not like Colin
has a lot of time
to make this happen.

Like, time is of the essence,
and he should be
in a real crunch.

[Allen] We leave in a week.

The one surprise
you can keep from her,

just keep this one.

Because as soon as the boys
find out,
it won't be long.

I mean, Bechnir couldn't keep
a secret to save his life.

Let's just try to keep it
in this room.

I just don't want it
to get back to Baylen.

So, this is the
actual electrode.

You'd be in a frame,
literally bolted to your skull
to keep your head stable.

They make an incision,
they pull the skin back,
they drill a hole,

and then they stick it down
in your brain.

[Baylen] Hell, no. Hell, no.

Hell, no! b*tch.

[soft music playing]

I'm glad Burke agreed
to watch the boys.

That's super sweet of him.

After Baylen agreed
to learn more about DBS,

we made a bunch of calls,
and a top neurologist

in the Boston area
was able to fit us in.

So, we're speeding up there
for the day.

I am the most anxious slash
excited for this doctor

and this appointment
for probably any other.

I thought at first
you were kind of joking,

like, "Hey, we got in
to go to this thing."

Yeah, no, it's...
[sighing] I don't know.

One of the toughest aspects
of Baylen's condition
is finding doctors

who will look at Baylen
as a person
and not just her condition.

-[Julie] There she is!
-Hey.

Hi.

Colin just dropped me off.

[Julie] The reality is,
that she is a very
complicated case,

and it's very hard
to find the best of the best
doctors to take her on.

because they have
waiting lists
for months and up to years.

-Are you excited?
-To go to Boston?

Yeah. You look a little bit
emotionless, you know?

Well, I'm just...

Well, we knew you weren't
going to come in here

and be like,
"Hey, I hope they have
an open...

[Julie] Hope they can
do it tomorrow.

-...brain scan at
two o'clock this afternoon."
-[Julie laughing]

-[Allen] I mean,
I know that wasn't coming.
-No, but I...

I'm excited to go.

I've never been to Boston,
but also, I'm excited
to meet her.

The most important thing
I want to leave today.
knowing is...

having a doctor
that sees something in me

and is like,
"I want to help you."

But also at the same time,
I'm worried that

I am a candidate for DBS,
and that scares me.

-[Allen] Baylen, you sitting
up front, or is Julie?
-Um, Mom will.

-[Allen] All right.
-I'm probably gonna
take a nap.

When life gets really
complicated for her,

and overwhelming,
her ability to adjust
is never, like, top notch.

You got your...

Okay.

And it does just seem
like Baylen has been
under more stress

since moving out, and we know
that she can regress
very quickly.

So, this procedure could
honestly be a game changer.

[Allen] This is it.

[Baylen tics]

Are you nervous, kid?

[squeals]

-A little.
-Yeah, I bet.

I'm a little bit anxious,
but, I mean, I always am

-when I'm going to a doctor's
appointment. [tics]
-Well...

God damn!

-[Julie] Someone's getting--
-[squeals] There she is.
God damn.

-The nerves are kicking in.
-You okay?

-Hi!
-Hi.

[Baylen squeals]

-Hi.
-Hi. How are you?

Hi. I'm Alice Flaherty.

-Nice to meet you.
-[Julie] Nice to meet you.

[hums]

My name is Dr. Alice Flaherty.

I'm a neurologist
and psychiatrist

at Harvard Medical School.

[squeals]
f*ck off.

My area of specialization
is particularly people with
mood and movement disorders,

and a lot of them
have brain stimulators.

I'm not Baylen's doctor.

I'm just meeting her today
for informational purposes.

But I have lots of patients
like her.

So, I guess, one of my
questions would be...

what are the things
that brought you here?

Well, I think we all see
that with some
of her Tourette friends,

that have had DBS,
it has had
a big impact on their lives.

-[squeals] God damn.
-[Julie] We don't really know
if Baylen qualifies

or if it would even have
a big impact on her life

-because...
-[squeals]

-...she's a little bit
of an atypical case.
-[Alice] Mmm-hmm.

The later onset, like the
whole gamut of comorbidities,

like anxiety, ADHD, OCD...

b*tch. [squeals]

Is she gonna live
a fruitful life being
the way that she is?

Or is there a measure
that we could look into?

Maybe not now,
but if her future
necessitates it, so...

-Yeah.
-Joe Biden is buried
in my backyard

after sorting cocaine off
of a zebra, during the
Revolutionary w*r of 1812.

[inhales] Then he was
in the Great Depression
in the 1920s.

We did it, Joe.
[tics repeatedly]

[Alice] When I compare Baylen
to Tourette's patients
I've seen in the past year,

her tics are much more
frequent, continuous,
and much more complex

than most people who have just
simple tics, like, you know,

wrinkling their nose
or tilting their head.

Because all of that
encompasses
what she's dealing with,

it's been very hard
to find somebody
that we can relate to,

-that we want to stick with--
-At least a neurologist
and a psychologist.

-Like, that...
-[Alice] Mmm-hmm.

-And a psychiatrist.
-'Cause you need both.

-Yeah, yeah.
-Especially
for the comorbidities.

My comorbidities
are a lot worse.

Yeah, you know,
most people with Tourette's
do find that...

-[stomping foot]
-...like, it's the other stuff
that's worse,

whether it's, you know,
the ADHD and OCD,
or if it's, you know,

the pressure of dealing
with all this
is like awful, I'm sure.

[Allen and Julie] Mmm-hmm.

[Alice] To me,
someone like Baylen

is an especially
interesting patient.

Because she has this
complicated overlap

of neurological and
psychiatric conditions,
which...

Like, the brain
doesn't make that distinction.

It doesn't care.

But people with both
tend to really fall
between two stools,

'cause the neurologists
are like, "I don't want
to deal with that."

And the psychiatrists are
like, "Oh, that's neurology.

That's too scary, too."

-[squeals]
-[Alice] So, it's like this
huge no man's land.

But, I feel like,
maybe, I could help her.

So, I guess, start like,
what are the things

you would like to know
about deep brain stimulation?

Everything.

-[Julie] Top to bottom.
-Yeah.

Um, so,
I love brain stimulators.

I think they're
so helpful for people.

[squeals] b*tch.

[Alice] One of the things,
I think is kind of funny

about the name
"deep brain stimulator,"

is that even though it's
stimulating in that it's
putting current into an area,

the effect is actually
that it's inhibiting an area.

So it's sort of sending
a jamming signal to an area

that's helping to produce
these tics or the feedback
that contributes to the tics.

And Tourette has been
studied enough,

so they know the parts
of the brain where those tics
are kind of originating from?

That's a really good question.

So, in terms
of "studied enough,"
it's still not FDA approved,

and there's kind of
a reason for that.
[chuckling]

It's like... it's not nearly
as slam dunk as,
like, Parkinson's.

We do it all the time
for essential tremor,

where you turn
the stimulator up and the
tremor goes away, you know.

It's harder than that.

Hmm.

But recently there's been
a bit more enthusiasm because
they have so much data

now that people are getting,
on average, like 50%
decrease in their tics.

I know the procedure
is really invasive
in a lot of ways.

-Yeah.
-But how astounding is it

that Baylen's tics
could get cut 50%?

That's life changing.

Where we start is with the
putting the electrodes in.

So, this
is the actual electrode tip.

You see, there's
like four little...

-Tippy, tippy tap that weiner.
Tap the rotisserie chicken.
-...holes

where the, um, electricity
could come out of.

They would shave your head,
you'd be in a frame,

literally bolted to your skull
to keep your head stable.

And, then,
they make an incision.

They pull the skin back,
they drill a hole,

and then they stick it down
in your brain.

-[tapping table]
-Then that... That's like
the first part of the surgery,

-and then they leave you,
they sew it up.
-[Baylen squealing]

[Alice] They'd go back
in a second surgery.

They'd put this in
and tunnel it down.

And then this gets implanted
where you would put
a pacemaker battery,

except they usually do it
on the right.

God damn!

[Alice] Um...

-So, that is... you know...
-[Baylen] b*tch.

-With Tourette's,
it's a little bit...
-[Baylen] Wind it up.

-[screams]
-...with bipolar.

-Um, so...
-[screams]

-[Alice] And it's...
-[yelping]

-[Alice] I wonder if it's...
-[squealing]

Oh, hell, no.

Hell, no.

Hell, no. b*tch. [yelps]

f*ck off.

-[Alice] With Tourette's,
it's a little bit--
-[Baylen yells] Wind it up.

[yelping]

That's my dog's bark,
FYI. [laughs]

-Like a super little dog
with a high bark.
-[Baylen] Mmm-hmm.

Spot on! [laughs]

[squeals]

[Julie] Would you surmise,
based on what you know
about Baylen at this point,

that she is a good candidate
for DBS?

[gasping softly]

[gasps] p*nis.

So what I would say is,
DBS could help,
maybe, the head jerking tics.

I wouldn't rule it out
completely.

But, it's a last resort.

Right now,
I wouldn't recommend it.

It's amazing to hear that
I do not need DBS right now.

Not today. No one's drilling
in my brain today,

or shaving my head.

I think that you have
better options.

And it might be good to attack
all the stuff around the tics.

-Like we were talking about
the comorbidities being worse.
-[Allen and Julie] Mmm-hmm.

Before you decide,
like, what am I going
to do with the tics.

Tics just so often get better
when you can get
the stress down.

What would you suggest, um...

next steps
for my medical journey?

-And me.
-Yeah, absolutely.

So my first advice would be
work with someone
to find some new med options

'cause there's so many things
that you can try

that would make you feel
better and not worse.

So that's me.

The medical journey,

the actual medicine aspect
of it...

-has been a trial and error
where we've...
-We've... I've tried a lot.

...come to a point where
we're like, this one's worked
good.

That one? No.
That one's a no.
Never again.

I would literally be like,
"I hate this.

I hate the way it
makes me feel,"
and I wouldn't tell anyone.

Now that you're older,
you can sort of
take charge more.

-[Baylen tics]
-[Allen] So are you
good with that?

Maybe some
different medicines?

Oh, my God. Yeah.
I'm great with that.
[chuckles, squeals]

Well, we can reach out
and schedule an appointment,
and...

-If that's possible,
to speak with you again.
-[Alice] Hmm, yeah.

I hate to say how much
I enjoy my job,
but I would love that.

I would love to come back.

I would love to see you again.

I do believe I got
all of the answers
that I came here for today.

Dr. Flaherty recommended
changing my medication,
and that's fine.

I love to explore that.

Let's change my pills today.

I mean, I feel like
we've met with a lot
of medical professionals

over the last five years.

You know, sometimes
I feel like we're just
honing in on the tics.

One person's interested
in the anxiety
and one person's interested--

Either that
or it's that can't be a tic.

Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna be
a little bit like...
I don't care what you call it.

Let's just make it go away.

[Julie] Mmm-hmm.

-I'm so relieved
because I came...
-We're relieved.

...into this consult thinking,
"She's clearly a candidate."

The doctor seems to think
that there are better options
and routes for Baylen,

and that...

-The least restrictive.
-It's a huge sigh of relief.

-Yeah, like you can almost
exhale like... [exhales]
-Yeah.

[Alice] That's why I love
treating Tourette's.

People can get so much better.

Perfect.

♪♪ My friend says he likes me ♪♪

♪♪ Wants to take me
to the movies ♪♪

♪♪ Says we'll marry
each other ♪♪

♪♪ Someday... ♪♪

What do you guys
want to wear today?

These are gonna be your towels
after you're done playing
in the beach.

You did me.

I haven't seen Colin
for a couple of days

because I've been in Boston.

You're packing for the dogs?
Okay.

Yes, they get outfits too.

They can't be naked...
at the beach.

Except for... Tootie...
Tootie they only said--

That's a little...
that's gonna show
a little too much.

[laughing]

Every year in the summer
before the boys
go back to school,

we take a family trip
somewhere.

[gurgling]

And this year we're going

to Ocean City, Maryland,
which is about
a good three-hour drive,

Fluff.

[laughing]

[Colin] I'm sorry.
I don't know why your mom
makes you wear this stuff.

[Baylen sighs]

[Colin] So how was Boston?

I wish I could have
been there.

Um, I would definitely say
that it was eye-opening,
at least for me to hear.

They make two incisions here
and they make one incision
back here,

for the wire to come down
and to the pacemaker.

After the surgery,
you have to wait
for the wires to heal.

And once they're healed,
that's when they turn on
the device.

Is there a risk with attaching
the wires to the brain?

Because you make it sound
like it's so simple.

There is a risk
with every surgery, though.

And it's not
guaranteed, right?

Well, no,
but nothing is guaranteed.

But the doctor told me to work
on my comorbidities first.

So, that means
no DBS right now.

But, I know I have
an interesting case.

I'm not gonna, like, pretend
like I don't have
the case that I do,

because it definitely impacts
the way that I live.

Mmm-hmm.

But, like, right now,
like, from my perspective,

you're able to do
pretty much anything

that you want to,
on a daily basis,
except for drive.

Yes, but in the future,
depending how my tics
progress,

it's an option
if I need it to be.

I'm super relieved that Baylen
doesn't need deep brain
stimulation right now.

The only way I would be
in support of Baylen
having deep brain stimulation,

is if she's harming herself

to the point where she's
having to get hospitalized.

[Colin chuckles]

[Colin speaking]

This is not gonna work out
with Baylen coming.

The last thing I need is

for this proposal to be ruined
by a trip to the hospital.

You dad's meeting up
with Colin.

Colin wanted to talk
to him about something.

I have no... no idea

what else he could
possibly say.

Is Colin pushing his luck?

[both] Can't wait to find out.

♪♪ We're traveling ♪♪

♪♪ At the speed of light ♪♪

♪♪ It's the one thing ♪♪

♪♪ That keeps us alive ♪♪

[Bechnir] I'm excited
to go to the beach, because...

the beach is like...

fun.

Except when I get
sand stuck...

Can I say a bad word, Mom?

-[sighs] Oh, my God.
-[Bechnir] a*s.

I was gonna say a*s.

...when sand gets
in my pockets
and I'm pissed off.

You don't have to stare
into my soul.

[giggling]

[cup shattering]

Allen, that was
my favorite mug. [chuckles]

-I'm just kidding.
-Why? 'Cause it said
your name?

[Julie laughing] It doesn't
say my name.

Okay, so...

Oh, my God, how are
we doing this again?

-You're takin' Vick.
-[Julie] Okay.

Sammi and Burke are
gonna meet you there tonight.

Okay.

And then tomorrow,
when I get these
other two re... ready,

-we'll head that way.
-[Julie] Get Bay.

What are we thinking
about the big moment?

-[softly] The big moment.
-[Allen] Uh...

We've no idea what
Colin has planned
for this proposal.

We know it's
obviously gonna
happen at the beach.

But other than that,
we're walking in blindly.

-Clueless.
-[chuckles]

-Totally clueless.
-Nothin'.

Sammi and Burke already know,

like, to make sure
to pack something decent

for the family photo.

The idea that we came up with

to get all of the kids
dressed up,

was family portraits.

Because the kids will
never pack nice clothes.

-And...
-[both] We suck at secrets.

-[laughing]
-Yeah, we...
Just doesn't happen.

So double check that
Bechs is good to go,
Vick is good to go.

-So make sure that they--
-[softly] If the kids
are around...

What?

Colin wants to talk to me.
So, I'm sure he has
something in mind.

Like, "Hey, let's..."
So I gotta go there,
and like...

-[whispers] Wants to go
over something, maybe.
-Yeah.

-But either way, I'll...
fill you in on what happens.
-Hmm.

This is coming up so fast.

It's not like Colin has
a lot of time to
make this happen.

-Vick!
-[Julie] Vick, come on.

We... We gotta get going.

-I love you, honey.
-All right. I love you.

Like, time is of the essence
and he should be
in a real crunch.

-All right, babe. Love you.
-All right text me
when you guys are...

-...a ways away.
-Okay, and let me know
about the talk situation.

Okay. All right, okay.
Love you.

♪♪ To make
the most along the way ♪♪

♪♪ I'm gonna find me a place ♪♪

[Vick] Dude. Oh, my God!
This is sick.

You excited?
You wanna go check it out?

I love it.

♪♪ To lay my bones
across the way ♪♪

-[Julie] Oh, my gosh, Vick.
-[Vick] Leave that right
there? That thing?

Well, this needs to go away.

This is not gonna work out
with Baylen coming. [chuckles]

Any time we go
some place with Baylen,

it's basically
an automatic at this point,

in her journey with Tourette
that we do a safety check.

Make things tic-proof.

The last thing I need is
for this proposal to be ruined

by a trip to the hospital.

You see anything else that
you're worried about?

-I mean, these are glass.
-[Julie] This is all...

-They are?
-I think.

-Yeah.
-[Julie] Knives are
the big ones that...

-[Vick] Oh this heater.
-Oh, f*ck.

-[Julie] Don't.
-This place is actually nice.

-Hi!
-[Sammi] This is
a super nice place.

It does seem really nice.

-[Burke chuckles]
-[Julie] Hi, Mimi.

[Sammi] Oh, my goodness.
Look how cute.

Oh, my gosh, Burke,
there's a girl for you.

[laughing]

If we catch you making out
with her after a few drinks,

-I'm done.
-[Burke] All right.

[Burke] When's everybody
else getting here?

[Julie] They'll be
here tomorrow.

'Cause your dad's
meeting up with Colin.

Colin wanted to talk to
him about something.

When Mom said that
Colin wanted to
meet up with Dad,

-one last time...
-Yeah, it was really kind of--

...I have no idea

-what other
possible questions...
-I was, yeah, I don't know.

-Yeah.
-[Sammi] ...he would
have for Dad.

-Makes me genuinely scared.
[chuckles nervously]
-[Burke laughs]

Is Colin pushing his luck?

-What I'm thinking--
-Keep going to Dad,
after he...

-Yeah.
-...basically said it's
not a blessing to give.

And he's like, "Okay,
maybe I'll try one more time."
[laughing]

[both] Can't wait to find out.

-How are you?
-Good.

I asked Allen to come
and meet me,

because I wanna talk
to him about being
a part of Baylen's proposal.

I know you and her share
a special bond.

I'm hoping that
he likes my idea.

I'm just tellin' you honestly.

I wasn't expecting you
to shut it down.

[Baylen] What should
we do, guys?

Just hang out?

So, I'm just at home
chillin' right now.

I'm just hanging out
with the dogs,

and we're just
hanging out on the couch.

Chillin'.

Um, because Colin's
out doing...

whatever man's doing.

He said he was going to
run some errands
and that he'll be back later.

So we have... d*ck!
A lot of d*ck.

Tootsie needs
a lot of d*ck. [chuckles]

Pop a d*ck.

My dad's coming to pick us...

pick us up
for the beach tomorrow...

It is a bummer that
Colin won't be going
on the family vacation.

But, also, my sister's
boyfriend isn't going.

Again, it is
a family vacation.

So, it's a little upsetting,
but I understand.

Who's excited for the beach?

They're all packed.
Me? I'm not.

I'll probably pack 30 minutes
before my dad comes tomorrow.

Typical.

Tell 'em what we're
gonna be doing until...
until Colin gets back.

This.

We're gonna be doing
this exact thing
until Colin gets back.

♪♪ Give a little bit of love ♪♪

♪♪ Give a little bit of love ♪♪

[Colin] I asked Allen to come
and meet me,

because I wanna
talk to him about being
a part of Baylen's proposal.

-Can I get a Coke?
-Coke? Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you.

I could tell that
Allen and Julie were
a little surprised

when I asked for
their blessing
to marry Baylen.

And I... I still don't know.

If... If I have
his blessing or not.

And I don't think
I actually do have
his blessing.

I think...
it's really up to Baylen.

But Baylen and her dad have
a super close relationship,

and I know that
it would mean a lot to Baylen

for him to be
a part of the proposal.

-Hey! [chuckles]
-Sup, buddy?

[Colin] What's up?

-How are you?
-Good.

I'm hoping that
he likes my idea
and is on board with it.

This is nice.

[Colin] Yeah,
it's a neat little spot.

[Allen] When I walked in
I looked real quick.

I... I thought it was
part of like...

the... the barrels.
Just like a figure.

-That thing is huge.
-But it f*cking
started movin',

and I'm like, "That's...
That's the real deal."

-[Colin] Yeah.
-[Allen] So...

So... So what's up?
What do you...
What do you need?

So for Baylen's
dream proposal,

I know you and her share
a special bond,

and I wanted her to hear
something from you

before I propose.

I got the idea of you being
the narrator of a video.

I... I want you to speak
a little bit about her,
like, growing up.

You know, the struggles
that she went through,

and the good times that
she had as a kid.

And then, hit home on,

-like, the father perspective
of everything.
-[Allen chuckles]

-How you have to--
-Wow.

Okay.

Two... Probably like...

-Two things. One...
-Yeah.

To me, simple is better.

And it's more meaningful.

It's more... from the heart.

Second thing is,
and I mean, I don't wanna...

make this sound
difficult for ya.

-All right?
Like, I just wanna...
-[Colin] Mm-hmm.

...put it out there.

My moments with my kids,

those struggles,
those rewards,
those challenges,

those... Those are for me.

You need to do this
for yourself.

It would probably mean
more to her...

if you told her
all the things that
you guys experienced.

Baylen and I,
we know the struggle.

-This is your memory with her.
-[Colin] Mm-hmm.

My memories are with me
and Baylen. Nobody else.

And I'm gonna
keep them with me.

And I think she would rather
hear words from Colin,

then hear words
from her dad on that day.

So make it
as special as you can

without making it complicated.

All right? Make it simple.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't
fully expecting you to
kinda, shut it down.

It is a little bit upsetting

that he doesn't wanna be
a part of the video

and thinks that it's
a bad idea.

I completely disagree
with him.

I'm just tellin' you honestly.

Things are happening...
really fast.

I'm emotionally wrecked
not just from this proposal,

but the last five years

of experience of
goin' through this
with Baylen.

And for Colin to...
[exhales]

attempt to tackle this
is honorable.

So, I'm trying to
navigate letting go,

and trying to
accept Colin at the same time.

I'm trying to figure this out.

And I...
I really wanna help him,

so he can help my daughter.

I mean, this is
extremely important to me.

Not just the engagement,
not just moving in,

but... who I am entrusting
my daughter with.

This isn't easy.

[Colin]
He's a very protective father.

And I would like to see
Baylen gain a little bit
more independence

just for herself.

But I'm not going
into this blind.

I know exactly
what I'm going into.

I wanna be with Baylen
for the rest of my life.

And now I have to
rethink this whole proposal

because I want it
to be perfect for her.

I just now need some time to
kind of, like, pivot and...

figure out how I wanna, like,
move forward with things.

I'm sure you'll think of
something nice.

-[Colin] Yeah.
-All right. I gotta get going.

I have no choice
but to accept
Allen's response.

But it does feel
a little personal.

And I don't know if that's
something that I can
break through or not.

[indistinct conversations]

-[Baylen] Oh, my God.
-Look at the little crabbies.

You mom has crabs.

[Julie] I want this weekend
to be a happy weekend.

I wanna have fun together.

I think dad's starting
to turn f*cking purple.

I know how much
you codepend on Colin.

Have you guys had talks about,
like, Colin's relocation?

The idea of Colin's relocation
and taking Bay with him...

concerns me.

I told him,
"I'm not the one
proposing to her.

You are."

[Colin] Today is the day.

I had this whole plan of

doing it on the beach
because that's what
Baylen has always wanted.

It just doesn't seem feasible
to... to have it on the beach.

Can they shift it
that quickly?

I don't know what
I'm gonna do,

or how I'm gonna
pivot from this.

I definitely have some, like,
built up anxiety.

It just seems like
it's his timeline
and not Baylen's.

Is this a Colin issue?

Codependence is great
when you also have
somebody on your side.

Baylen needs
to develop a back bone
and stand up for yourself.

[Colin] I feel like nothing is
going my way,

and I only have
one shot at proposing.

[dramatic music playing]

It's hard to
hold back the emotion.

Just a lot of feelings.

We have news.

This is a big plot twist.

[Julie] Holy Lord!