Moonwater (2024)

[bunniefuu]

[meditative music plays]

[birds chirping]

[sigh]

[sigh]

[meditative music plays]

[meditative music continues]

[deep breaths]

Oh sh*t.

Are you serious?

Oh God. I hate Gin.

[sigh]

[sigh]

Goodman

How's it going?

It's going.

Ready for buck season?

Yes, sir.

First season without Joe, right?

Mm, yep.

Well, you get used to it.

Right.

So, uh, what you got

for me today?

There you go.

[sigh]

OK.

Yeah, I mean,

they're not band furs.

I'm just not really looking

for whitetail right now.

Guess I can give you

a 60 for the lot.

Sixty?

Yeah, that's about it.

I've got you

like seven animals here.

Look, Peter,

I wish I could do more,

but what you've got here just...

It just isn't worth that much.

[birds chirping]

[coyotes barking]

Oh sh*t.

God damn.

Oh. Ugh!

[sigh]

[sigh]

Ooh!

[coyotes howling]

Hm.

Hm.

[coyotes howling]

[meditative music plays]

[birds chirping]

[g*nsh*t]

[suspenseful music plays]

[birds chirping]

[flies buzzing]

Jesus Christ.

f*ck!

[clearing throat]

[sigh]

sh*t.

[deep breaths]

[birds chirping]

[meditative music plays]

[door knock]

[Amaya] Dad!

Someone is at the door!

-Dad!

-sh*t.

Dad!

[Tom] I'm coming. Damn it.

Uncle Pete?

Hey, baby girl.

Is your dad home?

Are you sick?

What?

[Amaya] Dad said

you had too much to drink

and that made you sick and

that's why you had to go away.

Are you sick

or are you better yet?

I, uh...

Are you even gonna get better?

-What are you doing here?

-Sorry.

[Tom] Amaya, go to your room.

-[Amaya] Dad!

-I said go to your room.

-I wanna be with Uncle Peter.

-Don't make me tell you twice.

-This is so stupid.

-Amaya, now.

[Amaya] You're so mean.

I hate you.

[Tom] Hey, you better watch it,

young lady.

What are you doing

showing up here like this?

I didn't know it was your week.

Didn't I tell you I didn't

wanna see you around here?

She doesn't need to see you

like this.

You told her I was sick?

Well, aren't you?

Look, she wanted

to know where you went,

so I just told her the truth.

Look, you're late anyway.

What?

You're here about the stone?

I didn't wanna chase you down,

so I took care of it myself.

They're laying it on Tuesday.

You can go see it

anytime after that, OK?

-Oh.

-Yeah.

-Oh, OK.

-Now look,

we got enough problems

on our own

without you

coming around, alright?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, I...

I don't have any more time

for your bullshit.

No, no, no. I just...

I'm working on something.

Yeah? What is it this time?

No, not...

I didn't come here

about the, uh...

I just wanted to tell you...

It sounds really stupid now,

but I found the old still.

The old still, moonshine still?

Yep.

That's why you came out here?

You found the old still?

Yeah.

Great. What are you...

Why are you telling me?

I just, I...

I thought maybe

I could fix it up.

You know, run it one more time.

Like when we were kids with pop.

The old still, uh?

Yeah.

And I thought

maybe you'd like to know.

Maybe you'd help.

I don't know, for all time sake.

Great.

You wanted me to know.

Now I know, OK?

Look, I can't stay out here.

I gotta go inside and take care

of my daughter, all right?

Piece of sh*t!

[birds chirping]

I don't want to hear it.

[owl whistle]

[birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

[meditative music plays]

[anxious music plays]

Dammit!

[heavy breaths]

What?

[heavy breaths]

I can't stop.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I know that.

Mm-hmm.

[heavy breaths]

To life.

You know?

There's way too much

of your f*cking sh*t

in this f*cking place now.

[sigh]

It smells

and I can barely breathe.

You as*h*le.

Why didn't you tell me

where it was out there?

What state it was in.

Hmm?

I could have done something

to fix it up or tear it down.

Wouldn't have mattered.

No, no, no.

You, you are a shitty

f*cking piece of sh*t.

You're a f*cking

b*stard, as*h*le.

You're a waste on f*cking earth.

I'm glad you're gone.

[heavy breaths]

You waste a f*cking earth.

You heartless b*stard.

You know, I worshiped you?

I worshiped every second

we had together.

I worshiped

all of your f*cking junk.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, we're not doing that.

No, no, no.

Tonight's a good night.

Tonight is the first night.

And tonight I'm gonna drink.

I am gonna get f*cked up.

And when I wake up tomorrow,

I'm still gonna be drunk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[sigh]

Huh.

See that?

Almost steady.

Huh.

Cheers.

[meditative music plays]

[door knock]

Peter.

-[door knock]

-Peter, open up.

Ugh!

Come on,

I can f*cking see you, man.

[door knock]

[door knock]

Come on. Just close the door.

Jesus.

[birds chirping]

[groaning]

Oh, my f*cking head.

You're up.

Tom.

When did you get here?

-This morning.

-Today?

This morning.

[Peter] Christ, I thought

that was a dream.

Fortunately, not.

Yeah.

It's good to see you too. Geez.

Oh.

Hey, can you get me a beer?

They're in the fridge.

What's going on here?

I'm trying to get rid

of this g*dd*mn headache.

No, I mean,

what are you doing out here?

And why did you show up

at my house the other day?

I don't know, all right.

Just get me a beer, please.

Give me a beer

so I can think straight.

You're building the old still.

Is that why you're here?

Is that why

you were at my house?

Jesus Christ, I don't know, OK?

Just please,

go get me a f*cking beer.

What's a still

got to do with you and me?

Uh, I don't know. All right?

Maybe I thought

that you would help.

-Why the hell would I do that?

-No, it's just...

I thought

that you would want to.

It's just

what we used to do with Dad.

Is that what this is about?

-Yeah, sure.

-Pop?

Mm-hmm, think so.

What about you?

What about me?

I'm not stupid.

You want to build a still.

No. No, no, no, no.

-That's not it.

-Well, then what else

-would it be?

-I don't know, alright?

I don't know why.

I just know

that this is something

that I have to do,

okay? Alright?

And I've got way too much

of a headache

to even think right now.

And even if I didn't,

I probably still wouldn't

be able to tell you why.

I just know

that I have to do this.

Tom, where are you going?

No, no, no. Tom!

I don't even know

why I came out here.

-Tom, please don't go.

-Waste of my damned time.

Goddammit. No, please don't go.

Alright. We have

to do this together

like we used to,

like old times, alright?

I'm not gonna watch you

drink your f*cking life away.

I'm not asking you to do that.

I'm just your f*cking brother

asking you for help.

That's all, right?

Tom. This...

doesn't work right without you.

I think you know that.

That's why

you're here, ain't it?

Tom, please.

Please, just come out

and see it.

That's it.

It's a start.

Looks like sh*t.

[sigh]

Well, he couldn't have touched

it for at least a few years.

It took me two hours just

to get all the green sh*t off.

I wish

you would've tore it down.

Hey.

Remember when the apples

came down off that thing?

Yeah.

Best damn apples I ever ate.

It must have been

the size of your fist.

Yeah.

We just got drunk.

Ate apples

till our stomachs hurt.

Don't remind me.

I couldn't even look at a slice

of apple pie after that.

Didn't you fall

outta that f*ck

climbing up there

to get a big one?

Huh, I did.

Broke my damn collarbone too.

That's right.

And Pop didn't believe me,

until mom finally took me

to the hospital the next week.

Well, that's right, isn't it?

He could be

a real b*stard sometimes, huh?

I'm not building this thing

so that I can drink.

I don't need your help for that.

If I do this, it doesn't change

anything between us.

I still

don't want you coming around.

That's for the best.

And while I'm here

I don't wanna see you

take a single drink.

OK.

Alright then.

I guess we better

head back then.

Get a decent night's rest

'cause we got some work

to do in the morning.

I'm not a monster, Thomas.

Not really.

[owls chirping]

[coyotes barking]

It is getting cold, huh?

-You still...

-Shh...

What?

Coyotes.

Awoo!

What are you doing?

There's coyotes out there.

Awoo!

So you're gonna howl at them?

Sometimes, yeah.

Sometimes they howl back.

Well, it sounds like

you spooked them tonight.

Yep, I guess so.

Why don't we get some shut eye?

Mm-hmm.

I think you've been

out here too long, Peter.

Good night, brother.

[owls whistle]

Morning, sweetheart.

Jesus.

Hmm.

Are you ready to work?

-Yeah.

-Alright, let's go.

[happy music plays]

[Peter] There. That's good.

[inaudible]

[happy music plays]

-Scrape all that off here.

-[Tom] Yeah, yeah, I know.

You know,

I kinda get the feeling

that I was dad's favorite.

-Yeah.

-I think so.

What kind of bullshit

are you talking about?

He was a narcissist

and I kind of look like him.

[[both laughing]

You get looks for mom.

You look just like mom.

[laughing]

So where'd you end up putting

him?

Huh?

Dad?

Where'd you end up?

He's in that old cemetery

behind the First Presbyterian.

He wasn't a Presbyterian.

That's a good place

as any I figure.

What's it say?

Joseph Goodman.

Birth year.

Year he died.

Father of two boys.

[electric motor whirs]

[electric motor whirs]

[electric motor whirs]

At least

it'll be more comfortable

-than the couch tonight.

-What?

I said at least it'll

be more comfortable

-than the couch tonight.

-Right.

You gonna check on them coyotes?

Yeah, sure.

Lemme know if you hear anything.

Right. Thanks.

[coyotes howling]

Little more,

little more, little more.

[anxious music plays]

[meditative music plays]

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about a break? Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

[meditative music plays]

The water's nice

and cool down there.

You should try it.

-Right.

-[sigh]

It's really gotten

that bad, huh, Pete?

You remember the first time

Pop brought us out here?

Sure.

I threw up all over the sofa.

[Tom] Yeah, I remember.

He always said,

"Yeah, I can drink a lot

for being such a little twerp."

How old do you think

we were back then?

Nine.

You were nine?

Yeah.

Jesus, I didn't realize

we were that young.

Yes, sir.

Started us young,

started us strong.

How's Amaya doing?

What do you mean?

I mean, I've not really been

allowed to see her in a while.

How's she doing?

She doesn't really,

uh, talk much anymore.

-No?

-No.

And how's that?

It's all right. It's quiet.

It ain't been easy on her.

I've been trying

to get more time.

The courts are f*cked.

You know how it is.

Yeah.

Sometimes I forget

she's just a little girl.

It's hard on a kid.

Family's all they have.

And you know your parents.

They're your parents.

-Hmm.

-Yeah.

What about you?

What about me?

I mean, it's hard on her.

-How about you?

-I'm okay.

It's just, you know...

I always thought I had a plan.

Not for me, but for her.

Like she was

meant for something.

I didn't want her to get stuck.

Not like the rest of us.

But, you know,

things don't always turn out.

Just like how you planned,

do they?

No, they don't.

Come on, let's get back to work.

Yeah.

[joyful music plays]

All right.

I think the hole

should just fit.

[joyful music continues]

Give it a strong blow.

Blow on it like you mean it.

[joyful music continues]

This is just a little,

give us just a little slab.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Yeah, alright.

[joyful music continues]

-I think we're set.

-Well, I'll be.

[joyful music continues]

Let's get back

before it gets dark.

[joyful music continues]

Hey, Pete.

Huh?

You hear that?

[coyotes howling]

Oh yeah.

I guess I didn't notice.

[coyotes howling]

Oh, they're early tonight.

[coyotes howling]

It's nice.

[coyotes howling]

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

[coyotes howling]

I have to leave, Pete.

[coyotes howling]

What?

Can't stay here.

I gotta go back

to the real world.

We're so close though.

I'll help you cook

in the morning.

I got Amaya tomorrow.

I gotta pick her up from school

[coyotes howling]

Are you coming?

We have work to do

before you go.

[coyotes howling]

Ugh.

Okay.

[Tom] You sure it's down there?

No, not really.

[water lapping]

Well, here.

[water lapping]

I'm gonna hand boxes up

It could be in any one of these.

Let's look

through them, alright?

-Okay.

-Alright.

What's it look like again?

Well, it's a grain mill.

So it's a little tower

with a hand crank on it.

-Okay?

-[Tom] Okay.

It's got a little bowl on top.

[water lapping]

Yeah.

[Peter] Any luck?

Not yet.

[Peter] Well, keep digging.

Ugh!

I think I found it.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey. What are

you doing? What are you doing?

-[Tom] [inaudible] and stuff.

-Don't touch it.

I was looking

for the grain mill.

Now I really don't care.

Just put it away.

I didn't know what it was.

Well, you should have

left it alone.

-Sorry.

-Come on.

Let's go

before you touch anything else.

[owls chirping]

[Tom] Hey Pete,

can I ask you something?

sh**t.

[Tom] You left Emma, right?

Not the other way around.

Before you came out here,

you left her.

I left everything.

So why'd you keep

all that stuff?

[Peter] I don't know.

Seemed like a waste

to throw it away.

[Tom] You got it

locked up in a box.

You seemed happy together.

[Peter] I don't know.

I'm thinking about her

sometimes in the nights.

Did you love her?

[sigh]

I don't love much.

[Peter] No, you do.

You may not want to, but you do.

[heavy breath]

[coyotes howling]

[climbing stairs]

Get up, let's go.

I said early, it's early.

Coming?

Sure.

Right on your heels.

[relaxing music plays]

-Still got to...

-Yeah, those are needed.

Oh, see, I did it too.

It's all right.

Dad used to take hours

to do this.

Yep. Can see why.

So you gotta go over this

with a fine tooth comb.

Alright, I think I'm almost

done with this one.

Alright.

-You wanna take it back?

-Yep.

[Tom] You don't get

to have all the fun.

I don't want all the fun.

It's why I coerced you to come

out here?

Is that what you call it?

Coerced?

[relaxing music continues]

It's just taking

a big long drink, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Oops, sorry.

-It's alright.

-Yeah.

Always spill some, right?

Yeah.

That's it.

Just get out of here.

[relaxing music continues]

You're gonna be all right

out here all alone?

Born alone, die alone, right?

Best get used to it.

Well, just make sure

that mash works itself off.

I don't want to be

coming all the way out here

and f*cking up my boots

for nothing.

[Peter] Yeah, yeah, yeah,

I hear you.

You know,

I know I said it before,

but I really

don't want to see you...

-You know?

-Mm-hmm.

You're better than that.

Yep.

Alright. I'll see you.

-Alright.

-Yeah.

[car engine]

Off we go again.

[sigh]

[bed deflating]

[opens bottle]

[birds chirping]

[meditative music plays]

[heavy breathing]

Hm.

[heavy breathing]

[wind blowing]

[heavy breathing]

[meditative music plays]

[birds chirping]

[heavy breathing]

God dammit.

[heavy breathing]

[meditative music plays]

Go on. Get outta here.

Go on.

Get...

[birds chirping]

[anxious music plays]

[heavy breathing]

[anxious music continues]

[heavy breathing]

Ugh! m*therf*cker!

Ugh, God! sh*t!

f*ck!

Ugh!

[heavy breathing]

God.

[heavy breathing]

I don't care. I don't care.

Ah!

[bottle drops]

[heavy breathing]

[meditative music plays]

[Emma] Hold on!

Coming! Sorry, I have

a soup on the...

Peter?

Emma.

What are you doing here?

I was uh,

you know,

just in the neighborhood.

So.

Have you been drinking?

Hey, I heard that your grandpa

died a couple weeks back.

Yeah.

He was...

[sigh]

made me think of...

Well you know.

How are you doing?

I'm holding up.

-Why?

-Oh, good. No, I'm glad.

Okay. Well,

I can't stay out here.

-I got the stove on, so...

-Yeah, no, of course.

-Okay go. I'm gonna...

-No I just wanted

to give you this.

Is that your blood?

Um... Yeah.

Yeah, that's um...

It was just an accident.

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to give you that.

-That's it.

-That's it.

Yeah, I thought

you might like it.

You know, I...

I know that you used to like

all the little things

that I made for you, so.

-Peter.

-No, and, I mean,

I've been working

on that for most nights.

Couple months actually.

I had to start over a lot.

You know, cuz, I was trying

to get it just right.

I clearly gave up on that.

I didn't even realize

it was for you until I just...

Look, do you like it?

It's... It's got

your blood on it.

Yeah, I know, I know.

What do you want me to say?

You could say that you like it.

Even though it's not perfect

or even though

it's not finished.

Or even if it's got

a little bit of blood on it.

Or you could just say

that you're glad to see me.

You know, anything

like that might be nice.

No.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Peter.

I mean, Jesus, what's it been?

A year and you turn up out

of the blue on my front porch,

and you're drunk, with some

blood stained carving of,

what even is this? A dog?

It's supposed to be a coyote.

Great. Okay.

Well, I've gotta go.

I've got the stove on,

so here, take this.

No, no, no,

I want you to have it.

-I don't want it.

-I made it for you.

No, you didn't.

You made it for yourself.

Just keep it.

What am I gonna do with it?

Well, it's just something

to remember me by.

I don't want

to remember you, Peter!

You broke my heart.

I loved you.

I did, but you left.

You abandoned me.

I just needed some time.

What, you think you're

the only one that's sad?

That your problems are

harder than anybody else's?

We all got our troubles, Peter.

You're not special.

You left, okay?

I made my peace with that.

I did but you're supposed

to be a ghost now, okay?

That's the only way

this works for me anymore.

I'm sorry.

I don't ever want

to see you again.

Okay.

That's fair.

Fair enough.

Well, what did you think

was gonna happen?

I gotta go.

My soup is gonna burn.

Here. Here

I don't want it.

Goodbye, Peter.

[heavy breathing]

Ugh! God dammit!

f*cking sh*t! God!

f*ck.

Ugh!

Ugh!

What did you expect

you stupid f*cking as*h*le?

[sigh]

f*ck.

[sigh]

[anxious music plays]

What are you doing?

-[dog barking]

-Tom?

Huh? What is your problem?

What are you doing here?

[Amaya]

Dad, is he gonna be okay?

[Peter] I'm sorry, I don't know

why.

Oh my god. Get up.

-Get up. Get up.

-[Amaya] Dad, what's wrong?

Amaya! Inside, now! Come on!

Get off me. I can handle myself

God dammit. God dammit.

Get it together, huh?

f*ck off, as*h*le!

-[scream]

-Get up.

You listen to me,

God dammit, okay?

That's my little daughter

in there.

Okay? She's seen enough already.

She doesn't need

to see you like this.

Hey!

[dog barking]

Amaya?

Yeah.

-Alright.

-Yes.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

-Alright?

-Alright. Alright.

Come on.

Come on.

[dog barking]

Come on.

You're a f*cking mess.

Come on. Come on.

-Amaya, in your room, now.

-Uncle Pete?

Amaya, go inside your room!

I'm alright baby girl,

just do what you dad says.

-But..

-Alright come on.

Come on. Let's go!

-No! No!

-Let's go.

Stay in here, okay?

[Amaya] But I want to be

with Uncle Peter.

[Tom] Listen.

Uncle Peter isn't feeling well,

and he needs some rest, okay?

[Amaya] Why did you hit him?

[Tom] I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay.

[Amaya] Will you hurt him again?

[Tom] No. No, I won't.

[Amaya] You promise?

[Tom] Cross my heart.

Daddy loves you, okay?

Uncle Peter

is gonna be alright, okay.

Stay in here.

[heavy breathing]

I got puke on my jeans.

[sigh]

Come on.

I'm now opening.

I didn't know where else to go.

Shut up. Here.

Drink this.

Drink this. It'll help.

Just get some sleep, alright?

[sigh]

[lawn mower]

[meditative music plays]

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

[heavy breaths]

Hey, baby girl.

Shouldn't you be asleep?

Oh you're...

It looked like you were

having a bad dream.

You were making

all sort of weird noises.

-Was I?

-Yeah.

-Did it wake you up?

-No.

I got up for a glass of water

and I heard you

from the kitchen.

It sounded like something

was chasing you.

I didn't want you to be alone.

Thanks. That's uh,

that's very sweet.

You know, your dad's not

gonna be too happy with me

if he catches you in here.

I know.

It's okay.

Everyone says you're sick.

Are you sick?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Are you going to get any better?

Dad says that's up to you.

Is that true?

It's not really that simple.

What do you mean?

Well uh,

sometimes..

Sometimes the medicine

that you thought was gonna

make everything better,

sometimes that's exactly

why you're sick.

Then how are you supposed

to get any better?

Hmm.

I'm still working on that.

I miss you, kid.

You don't have to go away

again, do you?

It's okay if you do.

If it will make you any better.

[birds chirping]

[insects chirping]

[coyotes barking]

[birds squawking]

[Tom] Peter!

I was wondering if you'd

ever come back out here.

Give me one good reason

why I shouldn't dump

all that out right now.

I guess you'd have that right.

I didn't want things

to go down like that.

Yeah, no sh*t.

-No sh*t, Peter.

-Mm-hmm.

How many times do you have

to f*ck up like this, Peter?

Huh?

How many more second chances

do you f*cking need?

You make me feel like

a f*cking idiot, you know that?

You know that you make me feel

like a f*cking idiot

for being your brother.

The hell is wrong with you?

With me? f*ck.

I really want to believe

in you, Peter.

I really want to believe in you.

But you make it so damn hard.

Look if you want to call

this whole thing off

and just leave.

Drive away, never see

or speak to me again.

I get it. I'd understand.

I'd accept it.

I don't know what else

to tell you, Tom.

I could tell you that

I'm actually trying this time,

but I know that you've already

heard that a thousand times.

You're sick of it by now, but...

Uh.

I would say that I,

I'm glad that you came

back out here for me.

Tom. Tom, no, Tom.

Tom! I'm sorry!

Okay?

I woke up in your house,

saw you,

your life for all this year...

I'm sorry.

I probably

should have said that before.

I don't know how many ways

there are to say it.

I just know the one. I'm sorry.

Just get the mash.

Just get the mash.

The mash.

Well, she ain't much

to look at, is she?

She'll run just the same.

You are lucky you're wounded.

These f*ck are heavy.

Yeah, real lucky.

[sigh]

Ah!

How long do you think

till we have shine?

Uh, a while.

We're gonna run this one

nice and slow.

The slower the better.

[blow]

Check it out.

I pulled it out of Dad's box.

Back at the cabin.

Haven't played in a minute.

I bet I could squeeze

a tune out of it.

[playing harmonica]

I stopped by Dad's grave.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I was at your place

and you were out.

Went to the cemetery

behind the First Presbyterian.

Smaller than I thought.

Yeah, I know.

I always imagined everyone

in our family

would have one

of those big stones.

Stood out.

Defiant.

But there he was.

Just a little plaque.

It's not what I wanted.

Just all I could afford.

It's not so bad, I guess.

You never know how much

any of that stuff

is gonna cost you until it

smacks you right in the face.

Okay. Well.

Damned if you do,

damned if you don't.

[playing harmonica]

Hey, Tom.

I hope the paste is ready.

[playing harmonica]

We really should have

lined these up better before.

So we didn't have to fight

with them now.

Should have done this,

should have done that.

It doesn't matter,

it's on now, right?

-Yeah.

-Seal it up.

Yeah, it's already getting hot.

Just keep a look out for leaks.

I know they're gonna be

there somewhere,

we just don't know where.

[playing harmonica]

[Peter] Oh, head's up.

We got shine.

-Here.

-No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

You hold that.

I'm catching this nasty stuff.

You sweep in.

-Catch what's coming.

-You got it.

-All right?

-Yeah.

-Alright.

-Yeah.

-Alright, go for it.

-Ah!

Ooh, damn.

Here, smell that.

-Ugh.

-[laughing]

Yeah, those heads

will really get you.

Oh yeah, that almost

knocked me on my a*s.

That is some powerful sh*t.

Yeah, this first jar,

that's nasty sh*t.

But jar two and three,

that's probably what we want.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

All right.

[playing harmonica]

That's real nasty sh*t.

[laughing]

[playing harmonica]

[laughing]

Get out.

[playing harmonica]

-[laughing]

-[inaudible]

No, no, but that's

what I told everybody.

[laughing]

[playing harmonica]

[Peter] Alright. That'll do it.

[playing harmonica]

Oh!

You wanna try some?

I don't think

that's such a good idea.

We put in all this work.

The least we can do is

have a sip, right?

For old time's sake.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

Hmm.

Come on,

I'm not gonna get blasted

like some as*h*le, okay?

Okay.

You want me to get some water

to temper it a little?

Hell no. Let's take it

right off the still.

It's gonna have

a hell of a kick.

It's pretty damn pure.

We can handle it.

Okay.

Alright.

To brothers?

Mmm.

Moment of truth.

Ah, god damn.

That is f*cking strong.

Here. Try some. Holy sh*t.

Woo. God damn,

that is f*cking strong.

It's good, right?

Let me try some more.

Oh, damn.

Oh.

It's not right.

What?

It doesn't taste right.

It tastes great,

what are you talking about?

No, no, no.

It doesn't taste

like how I remember.

Peter. It's great.

I must have messed up

the barley.

That damned feed store barley.

I probably soaked it too long.

I knew that was gonna happen.

No, Peter, you did good.

-It's great.

-No!

It's supposed to taste

the way that I remember!

Like when we used

to make it with Dad.

Okay, well.

It tastes like it does when

we made it together, okay?

Besides, we haven't even aged it

or tempered it or anything.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe aging it will help.

I know it will.

You gonna have this drink

with me or not?

Okay, Tom.

-[laughing]

-[Tom] You like it.

You like it!

Don't act f*cking coy.

You like it.

[clears throat]

[Peter] Hm. It gets better

the more you drink.

f*cking blow me.

I thought I was the drunk.

We build up our tolerances

over the years.

Little by little.

f*ck I am really drunk though.

f*ck.

[laughing]

[breathing]

Why'd you do it?

Why'd you leave?

You never told me.

I mean, like, why'd you,

come all the way out here?

You never asked.

I asked plenty.

You were never around to answer.

Now I've got you trapped.

Okay?

Why'd you do it?

I don't know.

-You don't know?

-No.

That's it? You don't know?

It was a rotten thing to do.

I know that.

I knew it then, too.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just rotten.

No, I'm not gonna take the lies

that you tell yourself, okay?

You can't lie to me.

You can lie to yourself

but you can't lie to me.

I'm your brother.

I see you.

I guess, uh...

I don't know.

[clears throat]

Dad died and I just wanted...

No, I needed things

to make sense.

And I thought things

would be different.

I thought I would be different.

But that didn't happen.

Nothing happened.

And nothing made any more sense

than it did before.

He was just gone and...

Everything was the same.

I found myself waking up

with this stranger in my bed

and finding myself

to be that stranger.

I'd ask myself

why I'd come back.

Why did I come

back down to earth?

And he was always there

to tell me where to go.

Who to be.

When he died I just realized...

Ah...

I don't know what I realized.

And I thought to myself, "f*ck,

wasn't I supposed to deal

with this sh*t

when I was sixteen?"

"Wasn't I supposed to get over

this in high school

with some grand coming

of age moment

where I tell off the principle

and become a man?"

I'm too old for that.

Too late.

-Act your age.

-[laughing]

"Act your age"

And how old am I again?

How am I supposed to act?

All I know is habit.

Routine made for me

before I was born.

Before my father was born,

our father. Our grandfather.

No, if I stayed out there

in real life,

everything would have

gone according to plan.

Someone else's plan.

Someone else's life.

His maybe? I don't know.

So I said "f*ck it."

And I came out here.

Because I didn't know

where else to go.

I thought about k*lling myself.

Came close once.

I know you probably don't

want to hear about that.

But it is what it is.

Man, I never did it anyway.

It just..

Didn't really seem to be the...

right solution.

I think I was searching

for some bigger picture,

some greater purpose.

But I didn't find one.

I don't think I found anything.

I'm not blessed,

not f*cking wise, not...

not even lucky.

Hmm.

All I found was the woods.

The trees.

And that drinking feeling

was the only thing

that let everything slow down.

Did it help?

I don't know.

I'm still here.

I'm still drunk.

But I'm not afraid anymore.

He had it too.

That feeling.

I was a little bit older.

And I know

cuz I was able to see it

when I still had the chance.

It was in his eyes.

He never really

let it to the surface,

but if you looked

you could see it.

I have it too.

It's in our blood.

He gave it to us.

I think that's why he brought

us out here so much.

He was trying

to show us something.

I don't even think

he knew what it was.

But I really think he was

trying to just help us.

I really do.

I think he was trying to help.

[birds chirping]

You gonna remember

to save me some of that

when it's all finished?

Of course.

Good.

[sigh]

Well.

Hey.

What's this?

I want you to have that.

-Full kick?

-Yep.

You sure?

For when you need a good

knock on your a*s, yeah.

I guess

I'll see you around then.

Come here.

-What?

-Come here.

What?

We don't have much.

Not anymore.

You come back, okay?

Hey, come back.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you too.

[heavy breathing]

[meditative music plays]

[music fades]

[nature sounds]