01x10 - Stilt Walkers

[bunniefuu]

Ha-hey, cool camera,
Muscle Man. Is that new?

Uh, it's vintage. So, no.

Anyway, there's only
one exposure

left in the cartridge,

so I'm waiting
for the perfect shot.

Why not take a picture of us?

I need something inspiring.

I'm sure he'll know it
when he sees it, guys.

Now, Skips,

I need you to fix
the cracked porch banister.

And, Mordecai and Rigby,

take down the old
Christmas decorations.

-Aw, what?
-Why are you being

such a Scrooge?

Christmas just happened.

It is the middle of April!

-Oh.
-Oh.

Let's get this over with.

I'll grab a ladder from Skips.

Wait, give me a sec.

I wanna try something.

Yeah-uh!

Wait, Rigby,
I really need that lumber.

[exclaiming] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Okay. Okay.

[all] Whoa!

Dude, that was,
like, impressive.

Hey, when inspiration calls,
you have to answer.

Speaking of inspiration,
Muscle Man, look!

It looks like sushi.

And my stilts
are like chopsticks.

It's the perfect last photo
for your camera.

I'm not seeing it, bro.

Come on, it's funny.

I'm like a big giant
eating sushi--

I said no, bro.
That idea stinks.

What did you just say?

I said, "Your idea stinks."

No, it's great.

You're just not understanding.

Mordecai, back me up here.

I don't know, dude.
It might be a little weird.

Argh! This sushi idea
is genius.

I'll find someone else
to take my picture,

and you'll see!

Someone in this park's
gotta have a camera.

Aha! That looks like
a picture-perfect moment.

Will you make me

the happiest man
in the world, baby?

Oh, baby.

We're gonna remember
this moment forever.

Unless something weirder

happens immediately
after this,

'cause that's how
memories work, baby.

Hey! Nice camera
you got there.

You know,
[chuckles] I actually have

a pretty cool idea
for a photo.

-Uh, we're kind of--
-[Rigby] Okay, so,

you see how these
old Christmas decorations

look just like sushi?

And my stilts
look like chopsticks.

Listen, we gotta go, so--

Also, that idea really stinks.

[Uncle Sam] I happen to think

that's a swell idea
for a picture.

The name's Uncle Sam.

And I'd be happy
to take that picture

for a fellow
stilts-having friend.

Uncle Sam?
Like the guy from the poster?

How can I be on a poster
when I'm right here?

[Jefferson] Uncle Sam.

There you are.

This is my young apprentice
and ward, Jefferson.

Oh, I know this one.
Like Thomas Jefferson.

I don't even know
who that is!

And what are you doing

-talking to this groundee?
-"Groundee?"

I've seen this guy
around the park.

Never seen him
on stilts till today.

Now, now, Jefferson.

He's not taking
the stilts off.

Are ya, son?

Nah! I'm stiltsin' for life!

I like your pluck.

Gah! Whatever,
stupid groundee.

Hey, Uncle Sam,

I don't have
my camera on me.

But if I go stilts
and get it,

will you keep an eye
on my sushi?

Of course.

I'll be waiting right here,
young patriot.

Pops, move a little
to the right--

Can we just
take the picture?

I've been holding this
for an hour.

Muscle Man!

I met Uncle Sam.
Give me the camera!

Uncle Sam?

As in
the mythological amalgam

of the American spirit
Uncle Sam?

Yeah. He's gonna take
my sushi picture.

I'm not about to give up

the coolest picture
of all time

for that bag of stink.

My idea doesn't stink!

Right, Mordecai?

Listen, dude,
maybe you just need

to chill out a little bit
with the sushi thing.

Argh! You guys
are a bunch of jerks!

Oh, come on, Rigby.

-Can't keep...
-[Pops and Mordecai] Ahhh!

Great. Now we gotta come up
with a whole new idea.

[whistling "Yankee Doodle"]

Ah!

The prodigal stilt returns.

Hey, Uncle Sam.
I couldn't get the camera.

Any chance you have one?

Where I come from,

we have everything you need
and more, my boy.

[Rigby] Gee, I always thought
you lived at the White House.

[laughs]

Wow!

-It's a paradise on stilts.
-[exhilarating music playing]

[eagle screeches]

You guys have everything here,

and everyone seems
so supportive of each other.

You're all lucky
because some people

don't support
their friends at all.

Is that so?

Yeah, like Mordecai,
and the rest of the guys,

and... and my dad!

[chuckles] Uh,
forget I said that--

No. There's no room
for that kind

of unsupportive behavior
in the US of A.

Now, let me show you
something really special.

-[sweeping music playing]
-Ah, here we are.

It's beautiful.

Stilts really give you

a new perspective,
don't they, son?

[weeping] "Son"?

[sweeping music continues]

Wow, this has been
the best day ever, Uncle Sam.

Quite healing, actually.

But I'd better get back
to my friends.

Friends?
You mean those groundees

that wouldn't even take
your sushi picture with you?

I think you should
come live with us.

[gasps] Stiltsin' for life?

And that's why they call him

the Window Creeper.

'Cause he creeps

-into people's windows...
-[footsteps]

Uh, what's that sound?

[all scream]

Oh. It's just Rigby.

Yeah, just me.

[grunting]

Dude, why don't you just
go through the door

like a normal person?

-[shatters]
-'Cause I'm moving in

with the stilts-walkers now,
Mordecai.

[grunts and thuds]

And they're gonna take
that sushi picture with me.

Your sushi picture?

Rigby, the sushi picture
is one thing,

but moving to the woods
with a bunch of stilt freaks?

That idea actually stinks.

My ideas don't stink!

[groaning]

[thuds] Argh!

[grunting]

Rigby, come on.
Can't we help you?

Yeah, why don't you watch
some movies with us?

No! [grunts]

I don't need your movies
or your help!

I'm gonna go live with people
who actually understand me!

[grunts]

Rigby, you dropped your tape!

He must be really upset
if he left his prized

Carter and Briggs tape behind.

[Muscle Man] Ooh la la.

First dibs watching that
now that Rigby's gone.

-[siren blaring]
-[g*nshots]

Dude, it's totally uncool

to be watching Rigby's tape
without him.

Whatever. If Old Woodlegs
cared so much about his tape,

why'd he leave it behind?

-Huh?
-[Eileen] Aw, it's a kid Rigby.

-[somber music playing]
-Dad, come wrap me up

in this blanket
like a burrito.

A Blank-rito!

-Nah, that idea stinks.
-[sighs]

He must've recorded the show
over an old videotape.

Hey, Dad, come build
a can fort with me.

It's gonna be a can-opolis.

Look, son, that idea's
a real stinkeroonie!

Aw, man.

Dad, let's do chin puppets.

[laughs] It's fun.

[Rigby's Dad] You know
what sounds like fun to me?

-What?
-You taking your stinky ideas

somewhere they don't block
my TV show!

Jeez, that was horrible.

I didn't know Rigby's dad
was such a jerkwad.

No wonder
he started freaking out

when we said
his ideas stink. Ugh!

There's stilts time
to go find him.

-Uncle Sam.
-Ah, Rigby, my boy.

I thought about what
you said before, and I'm in.

Those groundees
I used to call my friends

don't understand me
like you do.

I'm glad you came
to your senses.

Me, too.
Hey, to celebrate,

let's take that sushi picture.

That's a great idea.

But before we do,

I just need
one thing from you.

Hey, name it.
I'm just happy to be here.

Rigby, I want you

to give me $12,000.

Uh... [laughs]

Good one, man!

So, where can I set my stuff?

[Uncle Sam]
There's no joke, son.

Forming a new country
isn't cheap.

The US of A
needs funding.

New country?

"United Stilts of..." Huh?

[inhabitants] ♪ Oh, say
Can you stilt ♪

♪ By the stilt's early tilt ♪

[Uncle Sam]
Show some respect, son.

In this country, we salute
the stars and stilts.

This is insane!

Is this some kind
of scam?

Scam?

Is it a scam
to love freedom?

Where we can touch
the animals

-wherever we want.
-[groans]

Is it a scam to make everyone
give me $12,000?

Then I guess you can just
call me Uncle Scam!

[chuckles nervously] What?

So, we're not gonna take
that sushi picture?

There was never
going to be a sushi picture.

That idea stinks.

[Mordecai] It does not stink.

That idea smells awesome.

Mordecai!

We never should've said
your ideas stink.

I mean, we were right
to rag on you,

but we should've taken
your picture anyway.

You don't need these guys.

Let's get out of here.

[Jefferson] You're not
going anywhere.

If my dad, and he is my dad,

needs $12,000,
he's gonna get it.

Stilt walkers! To battle!

[drumroll]

[playing flute]

-Charge!
-Yah!

[all yelling]

[all grunting and groaning]

Check out
this American revolution!

It's the end
of the stilt for you.

-[stilt walkers groaning]
-[growls]

Forget the money.

I'm gonna take
your heads instead.

Yeargh!

Rigby, it's time
to use those chopsticks.

-Hm-hm. Hm.
-[yelling continues]

-[grunts]
-Whoa!

[screams] No! [thuds]

-[panting]
-[Muscle Man] Hold it!

Hold that pose.

Eh?

-[dramatic music playing]
-Oh.

[sniffles] I finally get it.

-[shutter clicking]
-[Rigby] Voila!

A giant eating sushi.

[all appreciating
indistinctly]

Looks great, dude.

Also, you probably should,
like, go talk to your dad.

Hmm.

-[people cheering on TV]
-[slams]

[grunts]

No, your ideas stink!

[theme music playing]