01x09 - Good Mitch Spiking

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme music playing]

[ticking]

So I may not be
in Hair to the Throne,

but I guess you could say
I found myself a new band.

-Whoa!
-Whoa.

I had no idea

that Muscle Man
had a scholarship

for beach volleyball.

Yeah, so cool!

That's your takeaway from
my story?

It all started the first time
Starla broke up with me.

I thought I had it all,

but the one thing
I didn't have was purpose.

I spent all year skipping work
and slacking off at the mall.

I had no idea it was all about
to blow up in my face.

[laughs] Time to drop in
on Starla at work

totally unannounced.

Hey, where's Starla?

She's my girlfriend.

Um, was your girlfriend.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

-[whirring]
-[tense music playing]

Starla?

Babe, what are you doing?

I have dreams and plans, Mitch!

You're just skipping work
and slacking off!

Babe, I'm here
to visit you and...

uh, play arcade games.

I need to be with someone
whose life is going somewhere!

We're through!

Finish the strike through,
Janine!

Babe, please don't finish
the strike through!

-[whirring]
-[dramatic music playing]

No!

[sobbing]

What am I gonna do, Fives?
[grunts]

I'm nothing without Starla.

Well, maybe there's a way
to show her you're worth it.

[grunts] I need to find
something I really excel at.

Is that the telltale sound
of a perfect spike?

[grunts]

How am I supposed to know
what I excel at?

[grunting, sobbing]

[gasps] Hey, you! Hey, kid!

-Huh?
-Hey, my name is Dan Diggs,

and I think you've got
raw volleyball talent.

I'm a pro volleyball player.
At least I used to be.

Now I'm 26 years old
with my whole life behind me.

But you, you would dominate
at beach volleyball.

Beach volleyball?

Please agree to be my partner
for the upcoming tournament.

Eh, I'm kind of busy trying
to prove to my ex-girlfriend

that I can make something
of myself.

Unless you think
this beach volleyball thing

could work for that.

Yes, I do.

Then I'll do whatever it takes!

[upbeat instrumental
music playing]

[grunts]

[both grunting]

Great job, kid!
I knew you had it in you.

I feel great.
I'm ready for anything.

-[Starla giggling]
-Huh?

Steve, you're so driven.

Starla? Who's this hunk?

I just met this hunk
at the beach.

He's got a business degree.

He has a timeshare in Tahiti,

and he's really good
at beach volleyball.

[chuckles] Oh, dang.

Is that my old rival Dan Diggs

who lost last year's tournament
so hard

his soul literally
left his body?

Steve.

He's also
really good at talking smack.

It's time to make it official.

Janine!

[chair clatters]

[whirring]

[dramatic music playing]

[screams] No!

Hey, kid, you all right?

Come on, Steve.

Let's go.

Sure thing, my girlfriend.

Starla, no!

You're not gonna get her back
by whining.

You're gonna get her back
by winning.

-It's time for the tournament.
-Right.

The totally normal
beach volleyball tournament.

-I'm ready.
-Oh, wait. I didn't tell you.

It's The Underground
Beach Volleyball Tournament.

So, you're saying it's safer?

I'm saying
it's more than dangerous.

It's a waking nightmare
where cosmic horrors thrive.

But if you win, you get
a full ride scholarship.

If I can get
a full ride scholarship,

it'll prove that I'm doing
something with my life

and I can win back Starla.

Let's do this.

Whoa!

[hip hop music playing
over radio]

[men grunting]

Hmm...

Hot bone! I got a hot bone!

[chuckles] Nice.

[whistling]

[blows raspberry] A dolphin?

That's no dolphin.
That's Blake.

A porpoise
who's been genetically modified

to be an absolute beast
at volleyball.

[Muscle Man] What's that thing
on his forehead?

[Dan] A visor formed
out of his own bones.

[whistling]

[angrily]
"Do not touch me, dillwad!

Your job is to translate
and translate only.

You understand?"

[normal voice] I understand.

I'll go register our team.

-[Blake whistling]
-[Starla and Steve laughing]

Oh, look,
it's the wannabe Muscle Man.

Or should I say, awkward tan?

-[Starla and Steve laughing]
-What? No.

[whistling]

[laughs] "I like your joke

because it is mean
and also true."

-[sighs]
-Muscle Man!

I just wanted to wish you
good luck before the game.

You're gonna k*ll it.

Thanks, Fives.

But they're right.
I'm a wannabe.

Hey, you know what
the best part of my day was?

When I went to your trailer

to pick you up from work
and you didn't answer

because I knew
it meant you'd finally left

to go make something
of yourself,

or you'd overslept again.

Thanks, Fives.
You're a real one.

[laughs] A real what?

Ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to the annual

Underground Basketball
Championship!

[buzzing]

Volleyball?

[spluttering] Anyway...

Introducing our first teams
of the day!

Muscle Man and Diggs
versus Ghost Pirate Twins!

-Whoo...
-Aye-aye.

Let the game begin!

All right, kid. Keep your cool
and serve hard with purpose.

-[upbeat music playing]
-[Ghost Pirate Twins grunting]

[grunting]

[both grunt]

And Muscle Man and Diggs
advance to the next round!

Up next,
medieval jousting knights!

Yaarg!

-[grunts]
-[both laugh]

[announcer] That's another win
for Muscle Man and Diggs!

But can they beat
humanoid robots?

[whirring]

Fire ants? The Bone Army?

Yes, they can!

It seems Muscle Man and Diggs

have bumped their way
to the top.

It all comes to a head

as Muscle Man and Diggs
take on Steve and Blake!

-[laughs]
-[whistling]

"I am laughing
menacingly at you."

This game
will be extra dangerous

because it's being played
in quicksand.

[Muscle Man groans] Gross.

Don't worry about it, kid.

Just keep moving.

[whistling]

"Try not to think too much

about how your girlfriend
left you for Steve."

I don't have a thought
in my head.

-[annoyed whistle]
-[grunting]

-[screaming]
-[both grunt]

Classic Blake.

What a hit! But out of bounds,
unfortunately.

I don't know, Dan.
I think we might be outmatched.

Nah, kid.

Just remember
what you're doing this all for.

Here. It's your serve.

For Starla.

[upbeat music playing]

-[groans]
-[announce] Steve and Blake

-score their first point!
-[bell dings]

[grunting]

[chuckles] Oh.

Steve and Blake in the lead.

Can Muscle Man and Diggs
make a comeback?

Starla, you've got
to hear me out.

Is there any other way
I can prove myself?

I'll do anything for you.

For me?

You're supposed to be finding
your purpose for yourself.

[sighs] You still don't get it.

I don't?

-Okay, we're back!
-[buzzer buzzes]

All right, kid.
I know it looks bleak, but--

Whoa, are you okay?

Just give me the ball.

-I'll show you purpose.
-What's that?

I'll show you so much purpose

you won't know
what to do with it.

Do you want, like,
a cup of water? Or--

It's gonna be
like a tsunami of purpose.

[grunting]

[announcer]
And Muscle Man scores

the second point for his team!

-Whoo!
-Again.

-[grunting]
-[bell dings]

What is my purpose?

-[bell dings]
-I don't even know!

[bell dings]

What is my purpose? [grunts]

[bell dings]

Next point wins!

[growls]

All right, kid. This is it.

Lock in.

How can I lock in

when I still don't know
where I'm going with my life?

You gotta calm down, kid.

What if I never figure it out?

Remember what I said
at the start of the game!

What if Starla
never loves me again? [sobs]

[whistling]

"Looks like a lover boy
has sunk under the pressure."

[Starla] You're supposed
to be finding your purpose

-for yourself.
-[vendor] Hot bone!

I got a hot bone!

[Dan] Serve hard,
with purpose... [echoing]

That's it.

-[whistling]
-[sand splashes]

[upbeat music playing]

Serve hard at porpoise!

-[confused whistle]
-[grunts]

[squeaks]

-[bell dings]
-[announcer] And that's it!

Muscle Man and Diggs
win the case!

-Oh, yeah!
-[groans]

-Yay!
-[laughs]

[whistling]

"Ha! I let you guys
win this one.

Oh, no. I am sinking!
Stop translating and help me!"

-[whistling]
-"Gurgle, gurgle,

gasp, gasp, choke, choke."

Coffee, coffee?
Coffee, coffee, coffee?

Why, yes, I do speak coffee.

[cheering]

Here's your scholarship, kid.

A full ride
to Wing Kingdom University.

Your future has wings!

Thank you.

I'm proud of you, kid.

Yeah, bro,
we should do this again.

What? No, I'm a ghost.

My soul literally left my body
like Steve said earlier.

Sorry. I thought
you picked up on that.

A ghost?

Mitch?

I'm sorry for being so harsh.

No. I didn't understand
what you meant at first.

But I understand now.

-You do?
-Yes.

-[wind whistling]
-I needed to find myself,

to look within
and discover the core purpose.

It's volleyball.

You do get it.

Janine!

-[whirring]
-Mitch, will you take me back?

Yes, babe.

[smooching]

Anyway, because of Benson,

six weeks later,
I broke my wrists

and lost
my volleyball scholarship.

But that's okay.

I learned my true purpose
was working at the park,

and that's worth way more

than a hundred dollar
volleyball scholarship.

[Benson] A hundred dollars?

I felt bad for years because
I thought it was a full ride.

Uh, yeah. A full ride
from the airport to the campus.

-[laughter]
-[grunts]

[closing theme music playing]