There you go. Don't drive.
-Right, right.
-Right?
-Can you stand on your own?
-Yeah.
I can stand on my own.
- Jake?
- Yeah?
- Anything broken?
- No.
Okay, goodnight.
Don't drive.
Ooh. Oh.
Oh...
Oh.
Oh good. Good, good, good.
All right, here we go.
Wait...
I'll just take a little nap.
That'd be good.
She said it would take
one hour, and that was--
-Two and a half hours, actually.
-Three hours ago.
-She's an underestimator.
-I'm gonna have to call--
I called Elek Plumbing.
They open at nine.
Who wanders with the Lord
Sister Clara!
Heaven knows how to live
I know a woman
who's not that happy!
Happy the man
Who never seeks reward
Sister Clara!
Giving because
He loves to give
Sister Clara!
-Good morning!
-Oh!
Sister Clara.
Okay.
You need to tell me
what's going on.
You said you could fix this.
"Happy the man who
wanders with the Lord."
No, Sister.
Happy the woman
whose school has heat.
Why isn't this fixed?
Well, when I can figure out
how to fix it,
I'll be able
to answer that question.
Clara,
I have 75 teenage boys
who are refusing to shower
because the water's too cold.
Do you have any idea
what 75 unshowered
teenage boys smell like?
They stink!
They stink even
when they shower.
Thank you,
Sister Margaret Anthony.
You make a valid point.
I know.
Can you fix this?
Or do I have to take
extraordinary measures?
-Pray?
-No...
pay.
- I need it done.
- How about this?
I will continue
working here, and...
you go do whatever
you have to do until then.
But Kathleen.
God's timing
is always perfect.
There may be something
good that comes out of all this.
Why don't you focus on
what that could be, hmm?
Hmm.
Okay.
Thank you.
Happy the man
Who learns how to pray
Happy the man
Who has a burning goal
Happy the man
Whose service needs no pay
Come on. Wake up in there.
- Let's go.
- I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
Open the window.
Hey man, what time is it?
It's time for you to show me
your license and registration.
No, seriously.
Buddy, I've never been
more serious in my life.
You are a failure, Jake.
It's as simple as that,
one big selfish failure!
And oh, and that's the
fourth time this month
that you've used
the exact same excuse.
And I'm sick of it!
- He'll be ready in just a few minutes.
- -Sick of it!
Uh, is this normal?
When he speaks
to Jake Bauer, yeah.
No, no, no! Don't.
I give you a chance
when no one else will,
and you still have some
apparent need to prove me wrong!
I think you're just
reading way too much into it.
I just overslept.
Oh, good! Because you're gonna
need all of your energy
when you're looking
for a new job.
Oh come on, please
don't do this to me.
Jake, do you hear yourself
sometimes?
Don't do this to you?
I didn't do anything to you!
You're doing all of this
to yourself!
You're the best employee
I've ever had, Jake.
You can fix anything...
but yourself, apparently!
You're fired!
You're fired, go!
Go! Between employees
who don't show up for work,
and clients who can't
pay their bills on time,
it's a miracle I can keep
my doors open!
Oh, I-- I read that you
have to break eye contact,
or this could go on for months.
Whatever it takes.
Sister Margaret Anthony, cou--
could you wait
for me in the car?
Are you sure? I don't mind.
No, you're gonna
hear me say things
that you shouldn't hear
your Mother Superior say.
Ooh... Are you gonna swear?
No, I'm gonna beg.
Hey, psst. SMA...
This engagement
is escalating quickly.
I'm gonna need
a little cover fire.
When you get to the car,
lay down
about 20 Hail Marys for me.
-Roger that.
-Just--
All right,
let's just keep this going.
Send in
the next bit of bad news.
Sister Kathleen,
Mr. Russell will see you now.
Oh.
Ah, just when I thought my day
couldn't get any worse.
So nice to see you, Mr. Russell.
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God.
Pray for us sinners.
Now and in the hour
of our death.
Amen.
Well, how'd Mary do?
Are they gonna fix our heater?
Uh, that's a no.
There will be no heater fixing
-until there is bill paying.
-Oh...
I guess Mary was busy elsewhere.
Yes.
She was probably worried
about that guy.
Come on.
All right, you done it.
-It's gotta be...
-Ha.
It's gotta be here,
come on!
Oh no, no, no. Oh!
Oh no! No, no, no, Hail Mary.
Hail Mary, full of grace--
-What?
-Are you a creeper?
What?
I already know
you're a drinker, I...
smelled that
when you walked past me.
Are you a liar?
Cheat?
Are you wanted by the law?
Lady, I-- I don't know
what's wrong with you,
but you have the worst
timing in the world.
So I've been told.
But what we're dealing
with here is God's timing.
Totally different thing.
I don't believe in God.
Well, good news.
He believes in you,
so that's working out fine.
Well?
Well, what?
Jesus said,
"The harvest is truly plentiful,
but the laborers are few."
Okay. You're a heater repairman,
and according to Mr. Russell,
the best one he's ever hired.
Which makes you
the best one he's ever fired.
So?
So you're jobless,
and I'm offering you a job.
See?
God's timing is always perfect.
-Lesson over.
-Okay, uh, listen.
Wha-- You got a heating problem,
you take it up with him.
Hmm.
Mister Bauer.
He won't give me
any more credit.
I don't blame him.
I owe him too much money.
The students are cold,
and my sisters are cold.
And we need you, Jake.
It's as simple as that.
I'm sorry, Sisters. I--
I should have told him
to watch his language.
You know, from a
grammatical standpoint,
it's been a very
impressive oration.
I've never actually heard that
word being used as a--
a noun,
a-- a verb, and a pronoun
all in the same sentence.
He's done it!
Thank God!
Wait a minute.
I wouldn't do the
victory dance just yet.
This thing, it's a monster.
You gotta tell your maintenance
man to pay more attention to it.
Sister Clara
does the best she can.
Sister Clara?
This is your job?
I like to think of it
more as a penance
than a job.
Uh, English please,
Sister Signe.
Mother, the boys
are fighting again!
-Oh.
-Oh no.
Stay down!
Yeah!
Whoo!
All right, how am I looking?
Good? Cool, come on.
Boys! Boys, stop!
Hey, hey, hey, you cannot fight
in front of Jesus! Come on!
Sorry FT, I owe you one.
Johnny, get back here!
Yeah!
Boys! Boys, there's only ten
commandments,
and you're breaking,
like, four of 'em!
Boys, boys! Stop it!
I said stop!
Go ahead, go ahead.
Throw the punch.
Knocking you into next week
would be the perfect way
to end this crappy day.
No! That's not gonna happen.
Johnny, Keith, in my office!
Now.
The rest of you better
get back to class,
or it's gonna be
liver for dinner
seven nights
a week until Christmas!
Yes?
I like liver.
Duly noted.
Seth, go back to your classroom.
Thank you.
Sisters...
brothers.
Please make sure everyone's
where they need to be.
Gentlemen, what are you
doing starting fights like that?
Huh? And you.
What are you doing, huh?
Why are you doing that?
You know better than that.
You're supposed to be--
- Hey, can I ask you a question?
- But you think...
How do you do it?
I'm sorry, what did you say?
No, I'm just asking,
how do you put up
with these wacky nuns?
I mean, look at her.
She's in here lecturing
these kids like it's 1965.
Every boy is here for a reason.
They're lucky
she cares so deeply.
Right, of course.
Uh, hey, you know
what I'm gonna do?
I am gonna give you
my phone number,
and I'm gonna tell you why.
Because...
I think you probably
have some great nun stories,
so why don't you give me a call.
I'll take you to a nice dinner,
and then you and I
can have some laughs.
What do you say?
- Yes, Sister.
- Yes, Sister.
Oh, yeah right. Right.
Now, where were we?
Rebecca, could you please
send mister Bauer in?
She's ready for you.
Look at me, I'm in trouble.
- I got called into the
principal's office.
Hey, hey. Seriously.
Call me later.
Hey.
That secretary of yours is...
wow.
Wow?
Yeah, hey, no offense--
Uh, before you
say anything else,
it-- it's been my experience
that when someone
starts a sentence
with the phrase, "No offense,"
the very next thing out
of their mouth
is extremely offensive.
No, what I'm saying
is you're a nun, right?
So you would have
no idea how hot she is.
Actually, uh, I am not a nun.
Nuns are cloistered.
I am a religious sister.
Nor am I blind.
Then you can see how
great-looking she is
in that skirt.
You should see her in her habit.
Uh, what?
No-- no witty response,
mister Bauer?
- Wait, what?
- Cat got your tongue?
Yeah, I know. I know.
It's hard to imagine
such a-- a beautiful woman
would throw
her life away like that.
I mean, dedicating
the entirety of it...
helping the poor
and such,
it must seem like such a waste
to a man of your
extraordinary sensibilities.
-I'm--
-Embarrassed?
-No, I'm--
-Regretful?
Sorry, okay? I'm-- I'm sorry.
You can take that up
with Sister Rebecca.
In the meantime,
we are grateful for...
all of your help today.
-Huh?
-Hmm.
Oh, the-- Yeah. Look, hey.
You get those knuckleheads
to play some football.
That'll burn some of the
testosterone off of them.
We're hard
pressed to keep the heat on.
Sports is a luxury
we can't afford.
I mean, hey, look,
I don't know what to tell you,
but you know, kids that
age, without something
to distract them,
they're gonna find trouble.
Hm. You're right.
You wanna escape, do you?
Yes.
That door leads to the hallway.
Oh, uh.
You can apologize
to Sister Rebecca,
if-- if you ever see her again.
-Okay, okay.
-Hey.
Good luck, mister Bauer.
Thank you. Wait, was it, Sister?
Uh, yeah, Sister's fine.
-Sister. Okay, thanks.
-You're welcome.
- Kathy?
- Yes?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
That Jake, he's, uh,
quite a character.
But in the end,
he was actually...
Nicer?
I was gonna say less of a jerk,
but I like your version
better.
You know,
a man with no purpose
is just as lost as these kids.
He leave you a souvenir?
- Yeah.
- Oh!
Oh, if I had a dollar
for every man
that gave you his phone number,
I'd never have to worry
about fundraising again.
She's here.
You lie.
See for yourself,
she's in the library.
- Please bring the thing!
- Okay!
Ah!
Veronica!
Mother Superior.
Oh, forgive me, I didn't
realize I was meeting you today.
I would have ironed
my veil, or, um...
-I'm sorry.
-Oh no, honey.
You're-- you're perfect.
There's no need for that.
We're very informal here.
You don't even have to wear
the habit. It's up to you.
Thank you, Mother Superior,
but I--
I like wearing the habit.
I love it, actually
I'd feel, I don't know,
undressed without it.
Oh, well whatever
makes you comfortable.
Uh, Sister Rebecca here
doesn't always wear it,
and some of our sisters
do, and some do sort of.
But I'm like you.
I think it's who I am.
And it scares the boys a little,
I hope.
Anyway, um...
as is tradition in our order,
we try to find the perfect
welcome gift for our new novice.
You are very special to us,
as we have been praying
for a music program.
Every night for five years.
And you finally are the answer
to those prayers.
I found this at a yard
sale when I was a child,
and I had to have it.
I think it cost all of 25 cents,
but to me,
it was priceless. Wind it up.
"Make Me a Channel
of Your Peace."
Sister, this is one
of my favorite hymns.
Oh... Mine too.
I must have listened
to it 1000 times.
But it wasn't until years later
when I finally heard the
message,
and the calling.
But you, my dear,
you've already heard that call,
and we're so--
so blessed to have you.
Welcome to Mary Immaculate.
Good evening.
-Evening, sir. For one?
-I-- I'm good, I'm good.
Hello.
This section is closed.
Bull, the entire
restaurant's open.
You see that sign?
I can just refuse you service.
Right, and if you did,
here's what would happen.
You would miss out
on a hefty tip.
Got a little extra money.
I was up at Mary Immaculate.
What'd you do, rob the poor box?
Look, I don't want any
of your drama, okay?
You were so drunk
last time you were here,
you were an embarrassment.
Just go sit somewhere else.
I'm not. I'm not moving.
I'm not moving from this spot
until I get my dinner.
You're k*lling me.
What do you want?
Tonight, I want a hamburger.
A big hamburger. You know,
one of those
hamburgers that's so big
that it has to have
its own name.
And I want everything on it
except mustard,
because I hate mustard.
Hey Frankie,
rush this, will you?
So how is everything?
I don't wanna
discuss my personal life
with someone like you.
I'm sorry.
All right? I'm sorry
that I was a little drunk
last time I was here.
A little drunk?
That's the understatement
of the year.
Charley, order up!
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa,
wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I ordered a hamburger.
Really?
Wow, look at that.
Life isn't fair after all.
Here you go, Seth!
Whoo!
- Pretty good!
- Nice!
Maybe you missed your calling.
Oh heavens, I hope not.
One midlife crisis
is enough for anyone.
-Afraid you're stuck with me.
-Oh.
Ah, so. Question.
Do you two
know anything about football?
Betting? Yes.
Playing? Hmm, no.
It was before.
I mean, nothing recent.
That would be a sin, right?
Gambling.
I'm gonna look into that.
I'm your guy.
-Great.
-If you wanna
start a chess team.
Now football, not so much.
Why are you asking?
Well, it's come to my attention
that, uh,
maybe an organized sport
would be good for the boys.
Okay, all right.
If you want us to,
we'll try. I mean,
- we'll figure it out.
- Sure.
Really, it's a lot like chess.
As far as I can tell,
it's a game of logic,
patience, and manners.
k*ll him!
Sanchez drops back.
Now? Now you're gonna throw it?
Do it, just do it!
Sanchez
scrambles, can he throw it?
He can't! Oh, it's a fumble!
McCoy kicked the ball out.
It's a wild struggle.
Looks like...
I told you, every time.
He holds it like he's waiting
for a bus.
He just holds it in the pocket
against his defense
every single time.
Rhonda, my darling.
A round for everybody.
Get the Beast,
get Irish Bobby here,
the Big John, get
Shizzy, get the Crusher.
Don't mind if I do.
Oh, I can get used to this.
Oh, that's great.
Nice. No! Look, look!
What?
Hell--
Hello?
Uh, good morning, mister Bauer.
I-- I hope I'm not
calling too early.
It-- It seems we need you again.
And luckily, I filed your
number someplace handy.
Mister Bauer!
I'm gonna turn
the water on now, okay?
What? No, wait, Sister,
I'm not ready yet!
Sister!
Sisters, I have
more paper towels.
Thank you, Sister.
Just put it there.
-Thank you, Sister.
-Now look,
I wanna tell you something.
These lead pipes are
always gonna give you hell.
Heck.
Trouble, whatever, whatever.
Look, I got a question for you.
You got an all-boys school here.
Why do you have to open
up this girl's bathroom?
Because Sister Kathleen
asked us to.
And she said it was important.
And we're obedient.
- Oh. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Oh, it's a special project,
mister Bauer.
Uh, something has come
up, and I'm just trying
to find
the appropriate solution.
Well, I'm gonna
tell you this right now.
If you're gonna really use
this toilet,
you're gonna have to repipe
the entire thing with copper,
and you're very lucky
the storm line
-did not blow.
-Amen, brother.
That's all something you can do?
I can do anything.
May I show you something?
Clearly, we need help here.
I don't have a lot of money,
but I-- I could pay you
a livable wage,
that is if you would
consider living here
in lieu of some of that wage
that I don't have.
What is this, where
you send the bad nuns?
A, number one, there
are no bad religious sisters
in my order, and B, number two,
it used to belong to
the former caretaker.
Yeah. What, did he quit on ya?
No, died.
Right where you're
sitting, as a matter of fact.
What? Come on!
Why are you doing this?
Doing what?
You know exactly
what you're doing.
Jesus said, "Whatsoever you do
- to the least of my brothers--"
- Wait a minute,
hold on.
I don't need your charity,
or your Jesus quotes.
You know where I'd
like to live, mister Bauer?
Anywhere but this dump?
I'd like to live in a world
where doing
the right thing is a given,
and not second guess
by sinning, such as yourself.
Okay, fine.
You need a reason for
me to be nice to you?
How about this?
If something goes wrong,
it would be easier for me
if you were
already on the premises.
I don't know what to tell you.
You know, the place
that I live now,
I mean,
- I've been there a long time.
- Hm.
I am one
of their favorite tenants.
I don't doubt that.
Okay.
I'll ask 'em
if I can break my lease.
Oh, ooh.
Uh, of course, there are rules.
Made to be broken.
Do you wanna know a secret?
When we take
our final vows as sisters,
we get to pick one superpower.
Now, some sisters choose
eyes in the back of their head.
Others can read minds.
But me, I chose
the hearing of a bat.
I hear everything. So,
no, these rules were
not made to be broken.
They were made to be followed,
like the Ten Commandments.
While you are on these premises,
there's to be no drugs,
no alcohol,
absolutely no hanky-panky.
No fun.
Welcome to my life.
Oh, uh, and uh,
we decided that you were right,
and the football team
is a good idea, so
maybe you could get that going
with the brothers too, huh?
I don't know
nothing about football.
Two weeks ago,
you're Knute Rockne,
and today, you know
nothing about football?
Okay, listen.
If you want a caretaker,
I'll be your caretaker, fine.
But I am not coaching
a football team.
Are you sure that's right?
Uh, gentlemen?
You remember mister Bauer?
He is now joining us as
our new maintenance man.
Could you please
give him the nickel tour?
I'm needed elsewhere.
Of course, Sister.
Thank you.
Oh, Sister Kathleen.
May I speak with you?
How can
I help, Sister Margaret?
Hey.
You got 12 players there.
You can only have 11.
You sure?
Pretty sure.
Hugs or kisses?
What?
Hugs or kisses?
Um. Um.
Hug? Wait, what?
No. The-- Offense!
There's a--
On the end, the zero on the end.
Erase it.
Oh yeah! That is so much better!
What would you like
to see first?
The exit?
This is our library.
Hello, Mister Bauer.
FT!
-Fathers. Pardon me.
-How's it going?
-FT, you're the man!
-I'm gonna get that paper
tomorrow, FT!
Yeah, you better!
Hey, can I ask you a question?
No, this is not a dress.
- Wait, what?
- I'm just kidding.
Go ahead, ask away.
Well, why do you
let these little jerks
insult you like that?
What do you-- What do you mean?
Well, what are they calling you?
They're calling you...
-Fatty?
-Fatty?
Oh!
You don't understand.
I'm Father Anthony Michael,
and he's Father Michael Anthony.
It was very confusing at first.
I teach English lit.
We were studying Robin Hood,
and one year, the boys
started to call me Friar Tuck.
Like in the book.
-Like in the book?
-Mm-hmm.
So that nickname stuck,
and of course,
kids are incredibly lazy,
so they shortened it.
Friar Tuck, FT.
Wait a minute. You--
You guys
are putting me on, right?
Chapel's this way.
Gorgeous, isn't it?
Yeah, I guess so.
Can't you feel the
presence of God here?
Uh, you know,
God's not really my deal.
That's sad.
Listen, um, I'm not just
another pretty face.
I have a degree
in world religion, and...
a few others, so...
talk to me when
you wanna learn about God.
Or medieval fashion choices.
You guys.
I get it.
For guys like you,
a place like this,
yeah, I mean, I guess
maybe you could feel God.
But I got bad news for you.
For the rest of us slobs
out there in the real world,
He ain't never around
when you need him.
What is so funny?
Oh, did I forget to
mention that he's here?
Well, he didn't think
you were here,
but don't worry.
I told him you'd be right back.
Funny, girls.
Really, very funny.
-Talk to me.
-So, guess what?
-I got a new job, I--
-I...
don't really mean, "Talk to me."
I mean, "What do you wanna eat?"
No, I'm gonna work up
at that school,
- that Mary Immaculate--
- Your order
-please.
-All right, um...
How about a-- a hot dog today,
no mustard.
Anyway, that place--
those-- they're crazy--
Look, I seriously
have no interest in your life.
I just wanna get you your
food so you can leave
-forever.
-Is there a problem here?
Uh...
No, Clark Kent.
There's no problem here.
I'm having a simple conversation
with this waitress.
Well, I happened to
notice that every time
you talk to her, she gets...
agitated.
Thank you, Brian.
Think I can handle him.
Let me know
if you need anything.
Oh, and Brian?
Could you tell Frank
to rush this?
Brian.
Of course his name is Brian.
I think Brian likes you.
Why me?
Okay, why do you t*rture me?
Well, I don't really
have any other friends.
Other friends?
Don't say other friends, okay?
I am not your friend.
I am merely just a
waitress that you torment.
That is all that connects us,
and will ever connect us.
You know what? Have you heard
about the new restaurant
that opened up across town?
It's wonderful.
I've been, okay?
What I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna get you
a gift certificate
if you promise to never,
ever come back here again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh. Hey, hey buddy.
I ordered a hot dog.
Shepherds, why this jubilee
Why these songs
Of happy cheer
What great brightness
Did you see
What glad tidings
Did you hear
Gloria
In excelsis deo
Oh!
Gloria
-Sister.
-I'm awake!
Sister, have a cookie.
It'll keep you awake.
Three, two...
...one.
Come to Bethlehem and see
Him whose birth
Made the angels sing
Merry Christmas.
Oh, merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Christ, the Lord
The newborn king
Gloria
In excelsis deo
Gloria
In excelsis deo
Ah, looking good, Mr. B.
"The same measure that you use,
it will be measured
back to you."
Jesus.
"You got time to lean,
you got time to clean."
My old man.
Mm.
So, how long are you
gonna let these boys struggle
before you help them?
I told you, I don't know
nothing about football.
Big guy like you?
You didn't play
football in high school?
N-O spells no.
How many times I gotta tell ya?
-Mm.
-I was very busy in high school
with a lot of other things!
Oh. Like what?
Like a lot of things.
Key Club? School paper?
Prom committee?
Theater?
-Yeah, that one. Theater.
-Theater? Really?
- Yes, really.
- Oh.
You being a theater guy, uh...
I was just wondering what
your favorite Broadway show is.
They're all really good.
Yeah, but every theater guy
has his favorite, right?
I like that, um--
I like that cowboy one.
Oklahoma?
No, not Oklahoma, the--
the other one, the famous one.
A western.
Uh, Western Side Story.
Oh, you mean West Side Story.
-Yes.
-Sure.
Cowboy musical.
-Yes.
-Right.
Were you in it?
I was in it.
I did that one a lot.
Did you, uh--
did you get to ride
one of the horses in it?
Of course I rode the horse.
I was the main guy
in the play, wasn't I?
That's who gets to ride
the horse in the play.
-Hmm, in West Side Story?
-Yes!
Now can I get back to work?
Dumb question.
Who do you think gets to
ride the horse in the play?
The guy with the big part,
that's who rides the horse.
That's me!
I don't even know
why you gotta ask.
What do you think, I'd take
a little part in a dumb play?
Hey. Me again.
I'm just spit balling here.
What do you say we forget
all about this football thing
and start a theater company?
I-- I would love to see
your production
of West Side Story.
I-- I think it would be
very entertaining.
And historic.
Put on more patties.
They're eating a lot today.
Good afternoon, Sisters.
This is an exciting day.
Ooh, that smells delicious.
-Hello, Mother.
-Hello.
May I fix you a plate?
-Um.
-It's Americana day.
Hot dogs and hamburgers.
Very tasty.
I'll graze a little later.
Okay, one fry, so as
not to insult the chef.
Mm, Sister Margaret Anthony.
-Punctual, as usual.
-That's what I do.
Hello, Jess.
Hello, Sister.
Oh, uh, good
afternoon, Sister Kathleen!
Good afternoon,
Sister Kathleen.
Thank you all for that
very perfunctory greeting.
Please sit.
It is rare that we are
blessed with a new student
this late in the year,
but we are.
So please help me
celebrate that today,
we have a new member
of our Mary Immaculate family.
This new student is Jess.
Gentlemen!
Jess is now one of our family,
and I expect Jess
to feel welcome.
Enjoy.
Thank you.
Brothers, Sisters, please
join me in the hallway.
Please, get to know one another.
And who knows?
There might be more girls
in the future.
Oh, this seat's reserved.
- Yeah, sorry. Not happening.
- Bye!
Remind me
to punch Johnny in the nose
on my next day off.
-Um.
-Don't worry,
-she never takes a day off.
-Oh.
Seat's taken, sweetie.
Sorry.
Hi, Jess. You can
sit with us, if you want.
We always have room at our table
Blessed are the meek.
-Mmm.
-That's so sweet of him.
Hey, how's it going today?
Better. Thank you, Sister.
Oh, good.
I thought he'd help you.
Well, no time like the present.
Wait, you have
to go to Confession?
Constantly.
Mm.
- Hello.
- -Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
You were really
in there a long time.
Stick it where
the sun don't shine.
Hi, me again.
Oh.
I'm sorry, I just have
to get the garbage.
Oh, of course.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, I mean, I guess so.
It's the
Prayer of Saint Francis.
Mother Superior gave it to me.
"Where there is despair
in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness,
only light.
And when there's sadness,
ever joy."
I love that.
Mister Bauer?
-Spread out! Spread out!
-Oh no.
-Let's see what you got.
-Let her rip!
All right, hold on, hold on.
-Let her rip.
-Hold on, okay.
-Let's go. Beer over the head.
-All right.
-Beer over the head.
-All right.
-Be brilliant, now.
-Come on, let's see
-All right, show us
what you got!
-Yeah, yeah!
-Over the head!
-Show us what you got!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-Whoa!
Oh, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good,
that's pretty good.
I'm gonna show you
how to make the one a none.
-Yeah? All right.
-Check this out.
Watch the master.
Save the best, save the best.
-Watch the master.
-Okay.
Here we go now.
Abracadabra-cadeebra!
Slide her in!
Ow!
Oh!
Nice shot, but it don't count.
You cheated.
Your beer wasn't
above your head.
See, he's a big church guy now,
but he still cheats at
shuffleboard.
-That's right.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I-- I did not cheat.
-My beer was above my head.
-It was not.
That is a lie.
-Calling me a liar?
-Yeah, I'm calling you a liar,
'cause you're lying. You're
standing here lying to me
-to my face.
-Fellas, step back.
Why, you're the one
who stepped up
Knock it off, knock it off.
You guys are something,
you know?
If you could just
make up your minds,
it'd be easier
on the rest of us.
Love each other,
hate each other.
No one cares.
Just pick one.
Oh, I'm sorry.
They just got carried away.
I gotta run home quick.
Bridget has a fever.
So just watch the register
for a few minutes, would ya?
Try not to k*ll each
other while I'm gone.
10-4.
I have more pressing
urgent business elsewhere.
How you doing?
Look at me
Put the needle down
There's something
You should know
Cheaters never win.
Unless they do.
Bob. Bob, wait a minute. Bob.
What are you doing?
That's-- that's a kid.
Nah. No, no, he,
uh, Jake, he's legal.
Hey, you can't touch that!
Watch it, boy.
This ain't the schoolyard.
Here you will get beaten.
Bob.
-Fake.
-Nice try kid.
Take this.
Go back to the school.
Don't ever
show your face
around here again,
or I'm gonna tell that
nun what you're up to.
Oh, now who's
a big ol' tattletale?
Hey, Johnny,
you wanna do me a favor?
Stay out of it, okay?
All right.
Get going while you can,
you jerk.
Okay.
If I'm the jerk, what
does that make you?
Just the guy who
cleans up after the jerk.
You must be
very proud of yourself.
Ooh.
So, uh...
...who was the nun?
That your girlfriend?
No more
Come on, let's go!
We're having Sister's
meatloaf tonight, so...
-Excuse me, Sisters.
-Hello, Mister Bauer.
Don't look at me like that.
It's four o'clock.
It's Communion somewhere.
Would you be so kind
as to close the door?
Where have you been all day?
Are you okay?
I thought maybe you
were under the weather,
or-- or hungover.
I mean, you didn't
get in until six a.m.
Not that anybody's
keeping track.
I'm in. I'll coach.
You should warn a person
before you blow their mind.
But I have conditions.
Number one.
I don't wanna hear what Jesus
has to say about this,
because I can tell you
right now,
Jesus has no idea
what I'm going through
at this moment in my life.
-Okay.
-And number two,
I wanna pick the team,
and I want you to make whoever
I pick play. Can you do that?
If I make it gym class,
everyone has to participate.
I've seen some
of the kids around here.
Not all of them,
just the kids I pick.
Everybody or nobody.
It's not my rule, it's God's.
He's very inclusive.
My hands are tied.
Okay, um, fine, fine.
They can all be on the team,
but they can't all play.
Well, if they
wanna play, they have to play.
But they don't have to start.
Can-- Can I tell you something?
You're a real piece
of work, you know that?
Okay.
It's a deal.
Jake?
Yes?
You are the light of the world.
-Is that Jesus?
-Mm-mm.
No, that better not be Jesus.
No, no. It's not Jesus.
-Is that Jesus?
-No, no!
It's just s--
something someone said once.
In the... Bible.
Yes?
Not everything is about you,
Sister Kathleen.
Uh, excuse me, Sister Rebecca?
Hello, Mister Bauer?
I owe you an apology.
No, I'll go over there
right now.
Hey, man.
Where is Johnny?
Did you see her
Uh, Johnny?
Why is an underclassman
talking directly to me?
Looks like somebody's
a little confused!
- Or insane.
- You have a visitor.
She wouldn't
come up here, would she?
- This better not be her
- Ooh!
Oh!
Hey, man! You're not
supposed to be in here.
This is private property.
I'm-- I'm gonna tell on you,
you hear me?
Would you just shut up?
You want me
to treat you like a man?
Why don't you prove you are one?
What the heck was that, man?
Wha-- Where'd you get this
equipment, Goodwill?
Bite your tongue.
The brothers did
a lot of begging
to scrounge up these costumes.
Uniforms, Sister.
They're called uniforms.
Oh, right. Uniforms.
If it was Western Side Story,
then they'd be costumes.
Hm.
Good afternoon, Sister Kathleen.
Pew.
I do believe in miracles.
Gentlemen.
We are gonna need a bigger team.
Okay, that's it.
Remember, we have a
test tomorrow on Chapter four.
I didn't know we had a test!
When do we have a test?
She told us today and yesterday.
-When was this?
-Bro, you were asleep, man.
-But you were slumped
-Yeah, you were sleeping.
Like, I really couldn't
wake you up.
Oh, I didn't even notice, bro.
Yo, what do you want, janitor?
Oh, uh, I want you and
your crew to play football.
Of course he wants
us to play football.
We the best athletes in school.
-Come on, now. I don't know how
-That's right.
you'd play without us.
We don't play garbageman
football, though.
Oh gosh, do you know what?
That's so funny,
because that's exactly
what Johnny said
that you would say.
-What'd he say?
-Oh, he said that
you and your crew
would probably
not wanna play football
because you're afraid
of him and his crew,
or words to that effect.
I gotta be honest with you,
it's hard to really make it out.
'Cause mostly, he was laughing.
At you.
Nah. Nah, listen.
Come on, good!
Okay, get down there!
Back, back, back!
Back, back! Nice, nice!
Okay, come on! Come on, Joey!
Come on!
On the line, stay on
the line, stay on the line,
-stay on the line! Come on!
-You can do it!
You can do it!
Go!
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
-Yeah.
-It's amazing.
Night Owl. How you doing?
-Are you rested up?
-Oh yes, I feel great.
I slept four hours,
which is a lot for me.
Oh.
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Are your shoes tied tight?
I think so.
Oh, yeah, well we wouldn't
want our statistician
to trip, would we?
No sir, that's a good point.
- Safety first.
- Safety first.
Hey, Night Owl,
can I ask you a question?
Why are you in high school?
Well, technically, I
shouldn't even be here at all.
Of course not.
You're 12 years old.
You should be in, uh--
-College, actually.
-Wait, what?
Sister Kathleen thought
this would be a better fit.
She felt,
and I think she's right,
that most college students
wouldn't want
to be in a class
with a 12-year-old
who's twice as smart as them.
Twice as smart?
Probably more like three times,
but there is a point
where these things
are no longer measurable.
No longer measurable?
Hmm. Here, hand me that junk.
I'll take that for you.
So I noticed something
the other day that
I thought was really
very funny,
and I wanna share with you.
-May I?
-Yeah.
Oh good. Would you hold
this for me, please?
Of course.
I always enjoy a good laugh.
Me too, me too. Now,
Night Owl, I don't
want you to consider this
bullying in any way,
'cause I'm not gonna
- let them catch you.
- Who?
Them.
Catch him!
Don't tackle him!
Just catch him!
"...and they had only one loaf
with them in the boat.
He enjoined them,
'Watch out, guard against the
leaven of the Pharisees...'"
-Hi, Seth!
-Hi, Seth!
-Hi, Seth!
-Hey, Seth!
-Hello!
-Hey, Seth!
-Hey!
-Hey, Seth!
Come on!
Let's just go easy on him, okay?
- Hey.
- Yeah, we got it.
Who's gonna be the statistician?
Whoa, whoa, back off.
I got it covered.
So...
Someone will tell me when
we get a home run, right?
Grab some turf!
-Everybody grab some turf!
-That's it, that's it!
-Good.
-Right!
- I know.
- Here we go!
Good, good.
Everybody, good, good.
That's right. Come on.
All right, listen.
Grab some turf!
Relax.
Breathe in,
breathe out, and then
we're gonna do ten more laps.
- What? Ten more laps?
- This is a lot of crap.
Really?
Who said that?
I said it.
You're k*lling us.
For what?
Ten laps?
How we gonna do ten more lap--?
We just did ten laps.
Man, when are we
gonna play some football?
You play...
when you're ready to play.
This just ain't worth it.
You're the only one
complaining, Keith.
No, janitor.
I'm the only one
complaining to you.
Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
-Yup.
I'm done dancing for the man.
I'm out, man.
Quitting is a bad habit, son.
Once you start, you get hooked.
I'm not listening to you.
Alright, alright, hey! Keith!
I'll make a deal with ya.
A bet.
I'll race ya.
Wait a minute.
Hold on, hold on.
I'll race ya,
and if I win,
this is the last time you walk
out on anything in your life.
And if I win?
You won't.
If I win?
If you win,
me,
Father Tony, and Fwill do every sit up.
Every pushup,
every jumping jack,
and every run you guys do
-'til the end of the year.
-Uh...
Hang-- hang on, Jake.
-Can-- can we?
-Uh...
Well?
Well?
-Take it!
-Do it!
I say you got
yourself a bet, janitor.
Let's go, baby!
-Ooh.
-Mm...
I'm thinking
this is a tactical error.
I keep thinking
I don't wanna die.
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
You are overestimating
our opponent.
Let's go!
Yeah!
- Let's go!
- Okay, you knuckleheads!
Go ahead, meet me--
meet me at the finish line.
I'll meet you
at the starting line.
You need help?
Listen!
It is a 100 yard dash.
The first one over
the goal line is the winner!
Are you ready?
Born ready.
Let's get down.
Ready?
Set.
Let's go, Keith!
Let's go, baby!
-Let's go!
-Come on, Jake.
Come on.
Go, Jake, go!
- Keep going!
- Come on!
You got more in you!
- Yeah!
- Keith, Keith, Keith!
Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!
Go Keith!
Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!
Keith, Keith, Keith, Keith!
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Today is the day
the youth of the nation
take their rightful place.
Yeah!
All right! That's right!
-Let's go!
-We are the future!
Hold on, wait a minute!
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
If that were true,
then you would all be something
that I know you are not!
Losers.
What?
You never
crossed the goal line!
He got you, brother! He got you!
First one over the goal line.
Do we have a deal?
Yes, Coach.
All right. Get outta there,
that was a good day.
Hit the road.
Oh boy, oh boy.
I never really doubted you.
Me neither.
-They're even doing
better at school, too.
-That's amazing.
Sisters.
That was one heck of a race.
Hey, these
boys are gonna be hungry.
Oh, we got plenty of food.
Come on, let's get it ready.
Coach!
Listen, you guys.
You've really showed us all
a-- a great effort
these last few months.
Just wanted to tell you
that we've all been...
very impressed
with what you've done lately,
and we think
that over time,
you could be
a real football team.
Yeah!
But I just...
I want you to know,
they all want you to know
what's in store from
you from this point on.
If we're gonna go
through with this for real,
it's gonna be a lot of
hard work.
All through the summer...
...we're gonna do
what's called two-a-days.
That's practice in the morning,
and a practice in the afternoon,
plus weight training.
In the summer...
...in the heat of the summer.
Hard work.
None of you guys have anything
to say about that?
You have no smart Alec remarks?
No-- no comments
from the peanut gallery?
No complaining?
- Yes?
- Coach,
we don't really
have anywhere to go.
No one to go to.
All right, then.
Let's do it together.
Yes?
I can't wait to see your face.
Why is that?
Because your favorite
customer is here,
and it looks like he
brought friends.
We can go right here.
Oh, hello.
I wanted to introduce you
to my friends.
This is Father Anthony Michael,
and this is
Father Michael Anthony.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Welcome, both of you.
Please order quickly.
I'm very busy.
Charley, order up.
- This is for you.
- Thank you.
-And this is for you.
-That looks scrumptious.
What are you smiling for?
Because tonight...
I wanted a hot dog
with no mustard,
but I ordered a hamburger
with no mustard.
Do you know why?
Because I knew
that you would bring me
the exact opposite
of what I ordered.
How do you like them apples?
How do you like them apples?
I really like the food in there.
But that's pretty much
true of all food.
But the service was kinda odd.
Yeah, I mean, if she keep
treating you like that, and
gets your order wrong,
why do you keep going back?
'Cause she's my daughter.
Jake!
You look happy!
She give you another hot dog?
Um.
You know what she said?
She said
I might be able to finally
meet my grandsons.
Oh, that's nice.
All right, here we go!
Let's go!
Let's see what you got!
Here we go!
Christian!
What-- what are you--
what are you hitting
a wacky weed? What's going on?
- That.
- What?
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.
We have a brand
new member of our team.
Why don't you come up
and say hello?
This is Jess.
The league said girls can play,
so I say she's the newest
member of our squad.
Welcome to the team.
-Thanks.
-Do you know
what a tight end is?
I bet she does!
All right, look, we
got ladies present.
Yeah, no kidding!
Okay, Owen.
Italy, I'm not kidding.
Anything else like that,
you're out for the rest
of the year, you--
No, no. I'm not kidding, hey!
I'm not kidding.
Do you understand?
-Do you?
-Yeah.
I-- I have four older brothers.
Didn't have much of a choice.
All right. I wanna see
what Jess has got.
Matt, come on out.
You go and play tight end.
Come on out.
Jess.
To Jess. All right, here we go!
Let's see what she's got!
All right, team! Let's go!
All right, let's go! Let's go!
All right, let's go!
Defense, man to man coverage!
Here we go!
What are you doing?
Get the ball. Gimme that ball.
Hey, hey.
You do what I told you to do.
Do you understand?
Do it again, come on!
Let's go, dude! You got this!
You got this.
Hold on! Defense,
you know where she's going!
Why don't you try to
get there first, all right?
Here we go!
Pull!
This is ridiculous.
Give me the ball.
Give me the ball, bring it in!
Bring it in.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Got it?
Come on, come on.
Way to put the pressure on.
Take a knee.
You listen to me.
You do what I tell you to do.
Maybe Keith's gonna be
the quarterback.
-Are you serious?
-Yeah, I'm serious.
Okay?
Do what I told you to do.
All right?
Come on!
Let's go, new play!
We're coming, John!
We're coming, John!
Here we go!
They know what they're doing?
Okay, here we go.
All right, let's go!
You all know what to do!
What?
Yeah, there we go!
I knew we could do that.
All right,
take a knee. Take a knee.
All right, take a knee.
That looked like that hurt, man.
I mean, they-- they creamed you.
Let me ask you a question.
Does it hurt more in your ribs,
like right here?
Or-- or does it hurt
more here in your belly?
Yeah,
that's exactly what
I thought, a gut buster.
That feeling in your belly?
That's how I feel...
when the boy I trust
to lead my team...
isn't man enough to do it.
Now, how do you wanna go down?
In flames or in glory?
Here you go, man.
Thanks.
All right.
Well done, boys!
Go boys, let's go!
You've got this!
Welcome to the team.
Let's go, baby! Yeah!
Jess, Jess, Jess!
Hey mister
Won't you wake up
Don't you know
You're sleepwalking
Through time
Hey, mister
The demons you're fighting
Don't you let them
Creep inside your mind
Creep inside your mind
'Cause when it takes you
Is when I lose you
You lock the door
And shut me out
And I guess we'll take it
Here at four p.m.,
and get on that bus!
Praying for a saving grace
If you're not walking away
Then you know
I'm gonna stay
And I will try to be
Everything you need
No.
-So, you're not from here, so...
-Yeah.
-So are you single?
-What's the boyfriend situation?
Oh no, no, no, no.
Is this funnel cake
as sweet as you?
Man, give me a break.
-Is mine ready?
-Here you go, sweet stuff.
Cannot believe
In what you don't see
And I'll be the light
To lead you out the dark
They are all sleeping.
- Waiting for our
Saving grace
And if you're
Not walking away
Seth! Seth! Seth! Seth!
Then you know
I'm gonna stay
And I will try
To be
Everything you need
-Jake?
-Mister Russell.
What the heck
are you doing here?
Oh, I work here.
What are you doing here?
-I'm here to pick up
a check finally.
-Oh.
Hey, I don't wanna be late.
Tell everyone
over there I miss 'em.
Ooh. Okay, all right.
Are you all right? You alright?
Derek, Derek.
-All right, you good?
-Good afternoon, Mister Russell.
-Oh, hi.
-Hi.
Oh, wait.
You came over here to get paid.
-Yes.
-Mm.
One check
for the total amount owed.
There you go.
I sure appreciate you
coming over here.
We have been so busy with
the start of the school year,
and, well, all of this.
And you have
Jake Bauer working here?
Mm-hmm, we do indeed.
And thank God we do.
-He's your football coach?
-Mm-hmm.
And janitor, and handyman.
I mean, he's a real godsend.
I guess actually he's a--
a yousend.
I mean, if you hadn't
fired such a hard worker,
we never would have discovered
all of his hidden talents.
-Hidden talents?
-Mm-hmm.
Remember what Jesus said,
"The righteous will
shine forth as the sun."
Oh, Jesus said that?
He did indeed.
And He was talking about
Jake Bauer when He said that?
So it appears.
- Johnny make sure...
- Okay.
I'm gonna go.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
And thank you
-for your patience.
-Yes.
Sister? You have a visitor.
Ah, Sister.
Please forgive the intrusion.
Bishop McPeak,
what a happy surprise.
Oh, is everything okay?
-Oh, yes.
-Oh.
Everything's great.
Oh, why I'm here.
Father Tony has been emailing me
-about the football squad.
-Ah...
I used to play back in the day.
Oh, yes.
Everybody knows
about the battling bishop
of Boulder Creek.
Oh...
I don't wanna brag or anything.
Amazing.
Mm.
Listen, the diocese
office has been scrambling
to get them on the schedule,
but don't worry about that.
I'll take care of it.
Oh, come on, Excellency.
Surely you have
more important things
to worry about than
a high school football team.
Yes, Sister.
Yes, I do.
But I would still like
to meet the team
and its coach.
Well, let me introduce you.
Yo, Keith!
I'm open, fool!
Johnny, seriously?
Johnny...
Johnny.
What have you done?
Just read something.
I was right there, bro.
Oh...
It's all right, Sisters.
I got this.
It's fine, I'm sure.
Just stay calm, just stay calm.
Who is it?
Sister, it's me, Jake.
I'm sorry to bother you
in the middle of the night,
but I'm-- I'm wondering
if you and the Sisters
could come to the chapel.
Is this some kind of joke?
Because I'm totally willing
to break that Commandment
about not k*lling you
if this is a joke.
No, it's-- it's not a joke.
Uh, all the Sisters
in ten minutes, please?
Make me a channel
Of your peace
Where there is hatred
Let me bring your love
Where there is injury
Your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt
True faith in you
Oh master, grant that
I may never seek
So much to be consoled
As to console
To be understood
As to understand
To be loved as to love
With all my soul
Make me a channel
Of your peace
It is in pardoning
That we are pardoned
In giving of ourselves
That we receive
And in dying
That we're born
To eternal
Life
Make me a channel
Of your peace
Peace
Hey Jake,
are you still down here?
I'm right here.
Oh. Listen.
I know you're in work
mode and not coach mode,
but could you come up here?
We're trying
to figure something out.
Sure.
You're a peach.
Oh, you know we're getting
pretty close
to some possible game dates,
and we can't put it off anymore.
We need to name the team.
Uh-huh.
And we've been bouncing
around some ideas.
-Right.
-And since we're both
Franciscan brothers,
we thought that if we
could come up with something
that could pay homage
to St. Francis,
that'd be really good.
And as you're aware,
he's really into nature.
Right?
The red-eyed tree frogs.
-No.
-What? They're endangered.
-Stop it.
-Sparrows?
-No.
-Caribou.
-Are you kidding me?
-Whippoorwills!
-What?
-Go gazelles.
Absolutely not.
-Gelflings!
-No!
Wait, you just made that up.
Whatever that is,
that doesn't exist.
You guys, seriously.
It's easy. You gotta pick
a team name
that's masculine, right?
And maybe--
maybe how about this?
Something masculine
and Biblical, right?
Think about it,
masculine, biblical.
Wait a minute, I have it.
I have it.
Are you ready?
The Centurions.
What, are you kidding me?
The Centurions.
Come on, that's great.
The Centurions.
They were the ones who...
Nailed Jesus to the cross.
I can't think of everything.
What is this?
-What do you think, coach?
-Look at you!
You guys look like a real team!
This is amazing,
it's just amazing!
You're amazing here!
Now gentlemen, let's party!
- Jake?
- Huh?
I believe you know
Bob Russell of Elek Plumbing,
our new team sponsor.
-Yes.
-W-- Wait, what?
I am an alumni,
and I just wanted--
Uh, from long before I was here.
What you're doing with
these kids is so amazing.
Thank you, Jake.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
And of course your new
best friend,
-the bishop.
-How's it going, Greg?
Good, how you doing?
All right, I'm gonna
let you boys talk football.
Well, I got some good news.
It isn't a perfect situation,
but our old buddy from
the seminary, Finnigan?
Oh, he's a bishop now?
Yes he is.
And he opened up
a preseason spot.
Can you be ready in two weeks?
Well, I would've said no
five minutes ago, but...
I don't know, thanks to--
thanks to Bob Russell,
yeah, man.
I think we'd be ready.
-Where we going?
-Pennsylvania.
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
We are playing
Bethlehem Catholic Golden Hawks.
Is this some kind of joke?
No, and it wasn't easy, either.
Nobody wants to play a team
that no one's ever heard of.
Finnigan offered us a
preseason exhibition spot
against the Golden Hawks,
so I jumped on it.
But remember, it doesn't
matter if we win or lose.
We are playing some
honest to God football, boys.
But try to win.
Right, Jake?
Jake?
Been asleep for so long
I forgot what it was like
To be awake
Hatcher keeps the ball
-Turn it up, turn it up!
-Up field, up field!
...and had room to run,
but closes in
and takes him down
at the 20 yard line.
Hey, hey, hey.
What are you doing?
You're going the wrong way.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm okay.
You wanna come out?
-Put Frank in.
-Yeah, we'll put Frank in.
-Come on out.
-No, he'll fumble.
I-- I've got one more
in me, I think.
Well, Ryan,
I would love to stand here
and discuss this with you,
but I got a game to win.
-Are you in or you out?
-I'm in.
All right, then get in!
Let's go!
Hatcher keeps the ball again
but is hit hard
by three linebackers
on the ten.
Pray to God that
I was wrong
This is all some
Big mistake
I lost a part of me
In you that
I will never get back
Took me years
To finally see
-Coach Bauer,
have you been fired?
-No, I haven't been fired.
Who is responsible?
What happened to Ryan?
So wake up
I've been waiting for you
I know where you've been
No! Come on, no!
Come on!
I've looked everywhere,
and he is nowhere to be found.
No, he's not here.
Yes, gentlemen?
I know that
when I tell you this,
I'm gonna get
in a lot of trouble,
but I think I know where he is.
Oh
Jake, I believe
your girlfriend's here.
Jake. Jake, incoming.
Oh, Jesus.
You're gonna wish it was Jesus,
because He's all loving
and all forgiving, but me?
I am just one angry nun!
Okay, I'm out.
Why don't you just turn
around and get outta here?
Nobody wants you here.
Would you excuse us, please?
Uh...
Uh--
Look, I'm--
I'm sorry, I have to stay
where the-- where the money is.
You know, it's the boss'--
-Get out.
-10-4.
You know, you almost had me.
You almost pulled it off.
Come home.
You think I'm stupid, don't you?
That I don't-- I don't know
what it is that you're doing.
I know exactly
what you're doing.
You're doing
the exact same thing to me
that you do to those boys.
You're selling hope.
But you just forget to mention
that it is a hopeless world,
and that god that you
are pushing up there,
he is a cruel god.
You don't mean that.
I'll tell you this.
If He is up there,
He's got a sense of humor.
You listen, listen.
You can hear Him
laughing at old Jake Bauer.
The big laughing guy in the sky.
Now...
I want you to do me a favor.
This is really important.
For once in your life,
I want you to tell those
boys the truth,
okay?
I want you
to go back to that school,
and I want you
to look 'em in the eye,
and I want you to admit to them
that they are never,
ever gonna be
anything more
than they are right now.
Listen to me!
You are not gonna be
another in a long line of men
who turn
their back on those boys!
Do you hear me?
You are gonna pull
yourself together,
and you are gonna
finish what you started!
Do you hear me?
You are so stupid sometimes!
If you knew anything about me...
...you would
never want me to coach.
Jake.
Do you think
that I would have let you
anywhere near my boys...
...if I didn't know
everything about you?
I know all about Ryan.
And I know,
I know that if you could,
you would change it all.
But you can't.
If you weren't so
determined to hate yourself,
you would see your
purpose as clearly as I do.
You were sent here to
protect my boys, Jake.
They need you.
We all need you.
We need you.
How all this happened is
such a glorious mystery to me,
but it did happen.
And you will go back.
This time you won't be alone.
Wait a minute.
I have to go.
Go where?
I have to go there.
Hey, hey.
No, no, no. Jake.
Y--
You're in no condition to drive.
Can you drive stick?
I never stole
one of those.
- You?
- Me neither.
Sister Margaret Anthony,
may we borrow your car keys?
You're not driving our car.
No, I'm not driving your car.
He is. Let's go.
- Where are we going?
- We are going east.
Wake me up when we get to
Pennsylvania.
Wait a minute! You--
you can't just leave us here.
We don't drive stick, either!
Take an Uber.
Jake!
They really are good boys.
What's an Uber?
So wake up
I've been waiting for you
I know where you've been
Don't dwell on your sins
Remember the love
That lighted your days
You'll be okay
Wake up
I've been waiting for you
I know where you've been
Don't dwell on your sins
Remember the love
Hey Anthony, Diane.
I know it's been a while,
but I'm wondering
if you might have
a minute to talk.
Sure.
Come on in.
Ryan... was a miracle.
In all my years
coaching, I don't--
I don't think I've ev--
ever found a more perfect fit
for this game.
He had extraordinary skills,
and
perseverance,
and a very strong will.
Let me tell you what
I remember most about him.
I remember his heart.
That kid was just
filled with love.
He loved everything.
He loved the game,
he loved his team.
He even loved his opponents.
You know, to him-- to him,
they were all the same.
But you know, this 20 years
that I have spent...
...running away
from that night has been a--
a terrible insult
to that boy's legacy.
And I gotta be honest.
I just don't have it
in me to keep running.
So...
...I guess you are
stuck with me.
- Let's play football!
- Yeah!
No wonder the electric bill is
bigger than the national debt.
Ah-ha!
The brothers told me
you were back.
-Hm.
-I knew I'd find ya.
Well, I like that idea of yours,
hide in plain sight.
But now you did find me,
and you ruined it.
Hmm, and now
you have to k*ll me.
Well, this is your lucky day,
because
if I did k*ll you,
and I probably should,
I'm the one who'd get
stuck cleaning it up.
Hey, um...
You should know, I--
I talked to the kids today.
Told them everything.
How'd that go?
They're really good boys.
Copy that.
May I sit?
Hey, you know what Jesus said.
"Wherever two or more
are gathered in my name."
Whoa. What?
Don't get excited.
It's written right here.
Oh.
You-- You got me on that.
You're such a jerk.
Hm.
You know,
I've been sitting here...
...trying to get
some peace and quiet,
and I've been
thinking about a lot.
You know, none of this
would have happened
if it weren't for you.
Ah!
Everyone knows
there is no "U" in team.
That is something else that
I wanted to talk to you about.
Now listen, you and
your fellow Sisters, you gotta
lower your expectations.
I-- I'm not kidding-- Now, look.
The kids are great.
They're playing great, they're
acting like a team, fantastic.
But the chances
of them winning anything
without any game
experience are slim to none.
Would it surprise you if I said
that I was never
in this to win a game?
I wanted to win a soul.
Anyway.
Remember what Jesus said.
"With the faith of a mustard
seed, you can move a mountain."
Hey, you wanna do me a favor?
How about you give your buddy
Jesus a message from me?
I hate mustard!
He knows.
Night night.
Goodnight.
Once there was a man
Who faulted all the time
Faulted all the time
And when it grew time
To get his boys in line
He got his men in line
He said, "Believe in me
And I will
Believe in you, you"
All right, boys.
Here we go!
God loved the man
Who laid it
On the line, yeah
We need him to survive
God loved the man
Who laid it
On the line, yeah
Lead him to survive
Will it all survive
Once there was a man
Who dreamt
That he could fly
He thought it all the time
And one day he flew
Okay, boys, gentlemen.
Let's do it.
Locker room five,
all the way at the end.
All right, boys.
-Let's go!
-Let's get it, guys.
It's gotta be a difficult time
for you. It's been 20 years
since you've been
in this stadium.
What are you feeling tonight?
Well, um, got a lot of emotions.
It's been hard, but, you know,
we've both decided
it's uh-- it's time to move on.
Hi.
Mister Bauer.
Mister Bauer, this is quite
a unique homecoming.
-You wanna comment on that?
-Uh--
You know what I'm
talking about. It's been, uh,
nearly two decades
since Ryan Hatcher
died on this very field.
-Any comments?
-Um, excuse us.
-I don't know--
-Uh, Mister Bauer
has a team to attend to,
thank you.
Oh, and uh,
God bless Ryan Hatcher.
Laid it on the line, yeah
Lead him to survive
Will it all survive
And ladies and gentlemen,
I give you our home team,
the Bethlehem
Catholic Golden Hawks!
Please welcome
our visiting team,
all the way from Ohio,
the Mary Immaculate Saints!
Wow.
Not much of a turnout
for the underdog, huh?
No, I think everyone who's
supposed to be here is here.
Okay, here we go.
The Saints have won the toss,
and Coach Bauer
has elected to defer.
Now I'm really
excited about this game.
All right, let's go, boys!
Let's go!
Oh, thank you.
All right, get out there! Seth.
Put your helmet on.
It's a bittersweet
reunion tonight
for Bethlehem Catholic's
former coach, Jake Bauer.
That's right, it really is.
Bauer brings with him
a brand new, completely
inexperienced team here
to face this powerhouse.
- And we're in his hometown,
no less.
Let's go, boys!
He's all right,
he knows what to do.
Come on, buddy.
We believe in you, Seth!
This is your moment!
- Come on, Seth!
- You got this!
Yeah, that's a beaut!
Watch out, let's go!
Contain! Contain him!
Contain him!
- Let's go!
- Knock him out of bounds!
Are you kidding me? Already?
-Yeah!
-That's the other team.
-Oh.
-That's okay.
Get in there
and block the extra point.
Aw, not a good beginning
for the Mary Immaculate Saints.
They'll have to do better
than this or it's gonna be
a long ride home
for Coach Bauer and his team.
Come on, now!
Block that kick!
Block that kick!
Get it! Get it!
-Whoo!
-Yes! Nice! Nice! Nice.
You gotta be kidding me.
Looks like we've got ourselves
a real football game now.
Jess D'Ambrosio on the block.
Well ,let me be
the first to say it.
That young man, number
88's got a future in football.
All right, offense line!
Hold your block!
Check, check!
John, 747! John, 747!
And check! Strike, strike!
Check!
Hold your block!
Go!
- Come on! The block
is collapsing!
He doesn't have enough
time to read the block.
Guys, hold steady!
44 stack... cover two
Fumble! Fumble!
Yeah! Yeah!
I got it!
Let's go!
Oh, I read about this.
This is called a huddle.
Saints.
I just think it's nice when
they hug
- each other.
- Aw.
Watch the pass!
Watch the pass!
Ready?
Cream him!
-Cream him!
-Go!
Yeah!
Michael, Michael!
You wanna watch the game?
Come over here into the stand!
And the extra point
puts them at 13.
Johnny, Luke, 677!
Go Saints!
Huh?
Ladies and gentlemen,
for this very special
exhibition game, Bethlehem's
own Liberty Grenadiers
and Freedom's Patriot Band
have combined their talents
to entertain you in a very
special halftime show.
Settle down, settle down.
Settle down, come on.
Grab-- grab a seat, hurry up.
That was an amazing first half.
It was electric.
-Yep.
-Yep.
-Yeah!
-Father Tony, FT.
Sister Clara, Sister Kathleen,
we're all very
impressed with all of you.
Look, you guys.
I know this is the moment
when I'm supposed
to yell at you, I'm supposed to
remind you
that we have a game to win,
and that you have to try harder.
But tonight is not about that.
Tonight is about something else.
I wanna take a moment.
Look around the room.
Look at the young men
to your right, to your left.
Look at their face.
'Cause I want you to remember...
...this moment.
'Cause you're gonna talk about
it for the rest of your lives.
You're gonna tell the
families that you build,
and the friends you make.
You're gonna tell anyone
who'll listen about this night.
Because this is the night...
...that you realized...
...you will never
be alone again.
This is the night...
...that you became a team.
Yeah!
I love him.
The Mary Immaculate Saints
may have started off slow,
but they've certainly
found their rhythm.
The Golden Hawks
currently lead 13 to 7
as we begin the second half
of this special
exhibition game.
-No, you pick it.
-Okay.
What if the tallest
Building crashed
Left his men
To fill the gaps
Would the world look
For better days
What if the top half
Never falls
And the people
That he crossed
Would the world look
For better days
Golden Hawks
start at the 30 yard line.
Hershman stands
with the shotgun.
Takes the snap,
tosses it to Balkovic.
Oh, it's a flea flicker.
He's got a man open!
But it's intercepted
by Raphael at the 50!
He's at the 40!
30! Could this be a pick six?
Touchdown, Saints!
Oh, there's a hole!
He found a hole!
How did he find that hole?
Centurion 768 on one, alright?
Oh!
That is the final timeout
for the visiting team.
I can say nobody
saw this coming.
This late in the game?
Coach Bauer's freshman team
has the Golden Hawks
scrambling for a win
in this extraordinary contest.
Come on, huddle up, huddle up.
How about Mark 774?
-Oh, that's good.
-What's the plan, Stan?
Well, we gotta get them
in field goal range ASAP,
otherwise they still
have time to score
-and to win.
-Hm.
-I knew that.
-Coach?
I'm kinda busy here, Night Owl.
Yes, I know.
You're trying to figure out
what to run to build
a wider gap,
but I think you have
a bigger problem.
-Which is?
-They've figured out your
entire offensive playbook.
They know which
way you're moving,
because I think
Johnny has a tell.
-A what?
-Well, without knowing it,
you're doing something
with your body language
that tells them
how you're moving.
It's the same thing in chess.
Oh--
I don't even know what we're
-running half the time.
-Oh, oh. Forget it, forget it.
Just do what you're doing.
It doesn't change anything.
We still have to get
in field goal range.
You're gonna have
to do something
they'll never see coming.
We've got
a new player coming in.
That is Nathaniel Owens.
Give me this for a moment.
That kid, he can't be
in middle school,
let alone high school.
You're going down, zeroes!
We're gonna get you!
You're gonna get k*lled!
Do you have any advice?
Just do what Coach told you.
Don't get tackled.
Set!
Line out, line out! Hut!
Go! Get out, get out!
Get out, get out, get out!
Yes!
With less
than 30 seconds on the clock,
that run by Nathaniel Owens
has put the Saints
in field goal range.
Well, Francis,
looks like the Saints
had to settle
for a field goal here,
but it puts them up 17-13.
Might be too early to
call this a Cinderella story,
but it's certainly
starting to read like one.
Clausnitzer takes the return.
He's found some room to run!
Francis, I may have
spoken too soon.
They have just one man to beat!
But D'Ambrosio's closing in,
and he makes the tackle
at the 15 yard line.
Now let's see
if Hershman can lead
Golden Hawks
to a last-minute victory.
Hut!
Hershman
drops back, rolls to his right.
He's got a man open...
Valcovek makes the catch!
Can he get to the goal line?
No, he's taken down
at the one yard line.
So, it will be second and goal
at the one
-with just seven seconds left.
-Defense, boys!
Aren't you gonna help them?
They don't need my help.
They don't need it.
They'll know exactly what to do.
Win it for Ryan!
Come on!
Yeah!
Come on! Let's go!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
- Let's do this.
- Everybody in!
Hawks on three! One, two, three!
Hawks!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
Ready!
Nine!
For Ryan.
For Ryan.
For Ryan.
Woo!
I don't know
what we just saw there.
I've never seen
a game end that way.
I don't even know
if it's legal, but I like it!
Yeah. And what a beautiful
tribute to Ryan Hatcher.
That really
is something, isn't it?
Well, you know what Jesus said.
"Those who humble
themselves will be exalted."
Oh.
Hey mister
Won't you wake up
Don't you know you're
Sleepwalking through time
Hey mister
The demons you're fighting
Don't you let them
Creep inside your mind
Creep inside your mind
'Cause when it takes you
Is when I lose you
You lock the door
And shut me out
And I guess we'll take it
Day by day
Uh, Coach?
Yes?
Think fast.
Letting you know
I'm gonna stay
And I will try to be
Everything in me
Hey mister, I see
That you're starving
You miss the taste
Of the sweet lies
Well you held out your hand
But ended up folding
It's like it's hard
To even try
Hard to even try
But I won't give up
And I won't let you
'Cause I know that love
Will always win
And I guess we'll take it
Day by day
Waiting for a saving grace
You're not walking away
Letting you know
I'm gonna stay
And I will try to be
Everything you need
And I'll be there for you
When you have no clue
How wonderful
You really are
And I believe
In what you don't see
And I'll be the light
To lead you out of the dark
And I guess we'll take it
Day by day
Praying for a saving grace
And if you're
Not walking away
Then you know
I'm gonna stay
And I will try to be
Everything you need
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