03x02 - Prisoners of Ank'Harel

[bunniefuu]

[demonic voice] I could feast so easily.

-His soul is ripe for the taking.
-[Percy groaning]

[Ripley] Or we use him to give you
thousands more to feed on.

I have the vestiges. We're nearly there.

[demonic voice] Very well.

[groans, grunting]

Awake at last.

[grunts]

[snarling]

My sincerest apologies, Percival.

I'm sure you remember
how eager Orthax can be.

Orthax?

It has a name?

You never bothered to ask.

We destroyed it.

You left it a whisper.

But that whisper found me,

bearing gifts.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Without your design,

we never would have been able
to upgrade it.

Don't you dare pin your lunacy on me.

Come now, Percy.

Take the compliment.

And what exactly do you plan
on doing with it?

And me?

What you should have done long ago.

Share your gifts

with the wide, wide world.

[Orthax snarling]

[theme music playing]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds singing]

[indistinct chatter]

This whole trip is a disaster.

I knew we shouldn't have
listened to Raishan.

We had to try for the vestige.

Wait, a vestige.

If Percy is near the Plate,
maybe Mythcarver can see him?

[sighs] Scanlan's run off to some bar.

And he took my broom.

How will we find Percy?

This place is bigger than Emon.

The burglar.
Whoever shot at us fled in a hurry.

Maybe they left something behind.

[sighs]

Back to the archives.

[tense music playing]

Fan out! Find the foreigners!

Yes, sir!

They're already searching for us.

-Well, for you.
-[scoffs]

-I can take 'em.
-[knuckles cracking]

Those are the Hand of Ord.

You do not want to cross them,

nor their master.

Think they'd take kindly
to a coquettish wink?

[chuckles] Believe me, I've tried.

Eh, come on, Shaun. I know you carry
more than just cologne in those robes.

Surely you have some glorious distraction.

I did not come back to Ank'Harel
to get arrested.

[sighs] Fine.

Before I change my mind.

They've been spotted
in the river district.

Go!

Uh...

Go! That is an order!

Yes!

Let's make it quick in there.

[tense music playing]

Your pepperbox was a fine beginning.

But imagine if there were a hundred.

A thousand.

More.

That's chaos.

That's equality.

A weapon in the hand of every farmboy,
every washmaid,

every downtrodden soul in this kingdom
and the next.

You created something
revolutionary, Percy.

I have no interest in revolution.

Your technology could overwhelm any force,

no matter how powerful.

No more victims.

Tyrants.

Conclaves.

[grunts]

You and Orthax
seem to have figured it out.

What do you need me for?

[dramatic music playing]

The vestiges?

A power supply.

Powder residue.

No mistake, it was a pepperbox.

Hmm. Footprints.

Two sets.

Came from over here.

The k*ller didn't enter
the same way we did.

They came through this window.

[grunts]

Acid. And look.

It's oxidized in a pattern.

That's Eridos Acid.
We used it in the Clasp.

Oh, I'm Vax. I was in a thieves' guild.

I'm so cool.

-Seven days a week.
-Ugh.

[grunting]

Go go go!

[sighs]

[whimpers]

[grunts] ba*ls! No, it's us, it's us.

Oh, this homecoming
will be the death of me.

Well, hope you've got
some tour guide left in you.

Where might a girl go
for rare, elemental acid?

I know the place, unfortunately.

Come on.

[festive music playing]

♪ ♪

Hey, that's my daughter up there.

I know. I look too young to be a dad,

but you know... Hey, you gonna finish that?

Ah. Uh, he's gonna need a few more.

-[music ends]
-[cheers and applause]

Thank you.

While I rest a second,
the doctor's gonna take a solo.

All right then, this next ditty is about

a girl I met across the sea in Nicodranus.

♪ Well, it caught me by surprise
when I looked in to the eyes...

Water over here.

[Scanlan] Oh, uh, I got this one.

m*therf*cker.

[atmospheric music playing]

[Ripley] Orthax provided the inspiration.

That Plate can absorb fire.

And the cloak?

Cabal's Ruin.

It controls and redirects magic.

You'd combine them.

Create an arcane factory
powered by vestiges.

You want to mass produce your weapons.

Our weapons.

Even if it could work,

it would release untold violence
into the world.

Once the weak rise up,
what's to stop the oppressed

from becoming oppressors?

That's why I need you, Percy.

You understand humanity far more than I.

My factory is inevitable.

Wouldn't you rather be the one
at the controls?

I'll need my hands.

[Keyleth] Shubad's Sensational Sundries?

[Gilmore grumbles]

as*h*le even ripped off my font.

I'll see what he knows.

I'm sorry about earlier,

I just...

Didn't believe me? No one does.

That's not true.

It's fine.

Well, I've got good news and bad news.

Mostly bad for Shubad.

The sales ledger has pages torn out.

Looks like most of his inventory
is gone, too.

Damn it. Percy could be dead by now

and we have no idea where he is.

We will think of something, sister.

How? If we lose him, I...

-Huh? Hmm?
-[kid] Bang! Got you.

-[blows raspberry, giggles]
-Bang! Bang!

Oh, you got me. I'm mortally wounded.

Ahh, aah...

-[flatulence]
-[kids laugh]

[laughs] It's a pretty fun game, but, um,

have you ever seen weapons like that?

You know, in real life?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Um, can you tell me where?

Hey, great work, buddies.

Right? Kids are so stupid.

Bang, bang, pa-choo! Aah! Oh, sorry.

The old basilica. Northwest district.

Past the Temple of Onyx. Ten minutes away.

-[hand of Ord] Halt!
-Maybe 15.

You were observed at the scene
of Mistress Asharru's m*rder.

Surrender or be taken by force.

Easy, fellas. I know it seems bad,

but we're not here to cause trouble.

Uh, we're not? That don't sound like us.

You were warned.

You know, there are times to talk
and times to fight,

but sometimes you just got to...

...run!

Go! I'll catch up!

[energetic music playing]

[grunts]

We can shake these guys on the way.

Have to shake them, too.

You won't get away!

Might have to rethink
the whole shaking thing.

[contents rattling]

-[drunk guy snoring]
-[festive music playing]

[grunts] Come on.

So, um...

I said I didn't want to see you.

Nothing's changed.

You're not making this
easy on me, are you?

Did you make it easy on me and Mum?

That's...

extremely fair.

But look,

I traveled thousands of miles
for this conversation.

You came all this way for me?

Well, yeah.
I-I mean, technically, we needed this item

that might help save the world,
but you were right up there.

[scoffs] Of course.

Please. You're my only family.

[sighs]

Fine. I'll put my flute away

and when I come back, say your piece.

Did you hear about
the break-in at the Archives?

Someone got k*lled.

The Hand's out there
looking for some foreigners what did it.

Ooh, I'd hate to be them.

[both men laugh]

[Scanlan gulps]

[ominous music playing]

[Orthax] You delay the inevitable.

His soul will be mine.

The forge calls to him,
its heat fueling a world at w*r.

That is very disconcerting.

Orthax merely echoes my excitement.

[Percy] That's the missing piece
of the puzzle, isn't it?

What does your smoke demon
get from all this?

You can ask them yourself

-when you're finished.
-[growls]

[Percy] Oh, but I already am.

Your theory was correct, Dr. Ripley.

With magic and engineering,
you can fashion

an incredible power source.

Or incinerate a maniac.

[all grunt]

[Ripley snarls]

[Ripley/Orthax] You toy with us.

[Orthax growls]

No, we need him.

Do we?

[gasping for air]

[Vex] Percy!

[dramatic music playing]

-The Plate!
-[Percy] Damn it.

She's got two vestiges.

[grunting] Oh, sh*t.

I've got her. [grunts]

I thought I lost you.

I'm here, Vex'ahlia.

I'm fine.

-[Pike] Where is she?
-There.

Agh! My tit!

No!

No. No!

[grunts] Where'd she go?

-[Vax] Kiki, can you...
-[grunts]

[groaning]

[Ripley] It doesn't
have to be this way, Percy.

[Ripley/Orthax] Find me
when you're ready to accept.

[coughing]

[Percy] Pike, a little help!

Hold her still. Stay with me, Vex.

Oh...

You saved me.

Twice.

What would you do without me?

Stop right there!

No sudden moves!

By order of their highness J'mon Sa Ord,

benevolent ruler of Ank'Harel,

you are all under arrest.

[festive music playing]

-All right.
-Aah!

-What have you got to say?
-Uh, you know what,

it's-it's kind of loud in here.

-You mind if we walk and talk?
-What? I...

Great. Come on.

[birds calling in distance]

Okay, we're outside. Spill it.

Huh? Oh, uh, right.

I, uh... I liked your song up there.

Uh, are there words?

You crossed an ocean to talk lyrics?

I mean, if you need help,
I'm really good at rhymes.

[scoffs] Truly a waste of time.

I'm heading back.

No, wait, wait.

I-I'm sorry, okay?

I'm just, uh, nervous to talk to you.

You? Nervous?

Sure. I mean, the truth is,
when I'm on stage,

I'm golden. Straight fire.

But when the Lute goes down, I kinda...

I don't know who I am.

And I'm supposed to help you
figure it out?

No. Well, I-I mean, yes.

[hand of Ord] This way. Quickly, move.

Listen, uh, I think one more drink

-would really help me open up.
-Ugh.

[intriguing music playing]

If I hadn't gotten myself captured,
we wouldn't be here.

Well, to be fair, we did break
a decent amount of laws finding you.

-[dragon sense rings]
-[groans]

[hand of Ord] Their reverence,

the Emperex J'mon Sa Ord.

[Gilmore] Your Imperial Grace,
there has been a grave misunderstanding.

If it pleases you, our testimony will...

It has been decades
since such a heinous crime

has been committed at Ank'Harel.

Vox Machina, you have been charged

with royal theft and m*rder.

Mistress Asharru was not only
Emira of the Coast.

She was my dear friend.

Ugh! It was Ripley.

I beg your pardon?

This psychotic scientist...
she k*lled your friend.

And she might be working with
the green dragon,

who's actually the one who sent us here.

Even though I said
we probably shouldn't listen to her.

And I'm not... helping.

I'm not helping, am I?

Your Highness, please, we are innocent.

Oh?

Amongst your possessions
were vestiges of divergence,

just like the two
missing from my archives.

Were you not here to steal them?

Uh, technically yes,

but we, uh, failed.

[chuckles weakly]

And you... carrying a custom
black powder weapon.

The exact kind used in the crime.

That alone is enough evidence to convict.

However, if you confess,

I may show lenience.

No?

Then I have no choice but to sentence

all of Vox Machina to death.

Stop! It was me.

-Percy.
-I did it.

I take full responsibility
for the m*rder of Mistress Asharru.

Percy, what are you doing?

It's true, we came to rob you.

But my friends took no part in the m*rder.

Please release them.

I throw myself upon your mercy.

Honesty is rare these days.

And my people are nothing if not merciful.

Very well.

You are all hereby banished
from Ank'Harel.

Prepare him for the transformation.

[grunts] No! Let him go!

[grunting]

Percy!

[exhales]

Okay, where were we?

Oh, yeah. I just want to be in your wife.

L... Uh, life.

You just got to tell me who.
'Cause, like it or not, I'm your...

[hiccups]... dad.

I-I mean-I mean, I'm your fa...
I'm your, uh, I'm your fath...

I... I'm your... [gags]

[Kaylie] How could I be so stupid?

-You know, for a second,
-[dry heaving]

I thought you came back
'cause you actually cared.

But I should have known
a mess like you can't change.

[gags, coughs]

Go back to your pathetic little adventures

and leave me alone.

No, no, Kayl...

Please don't go.

[groans]

[mutters]

[Grog] Scanlan?

[grunts]

Scanlan!

[groans] Hey, guys.

[exclaims]

No, no, no, no, no! Don't. He's harmless.

And drunk?

Oh...

Oh, I was trying to talk to Kaylie

but you guys were in trouble.

I couldn't be in two places at once...

Pike, I blew it with her.

Oh, Scanlan, I'm sorry.

Nobody gives a sh*t.
They're going to k*ll Percy.

Wait... what?

[grunts]

You took a life.

And while we will not take yours,

we will transform it
into something more honorable.

Do you have any final words

before you join my service?

I do.

But the ones I would want
to hear them are absent.

[grunting]

[screaming]

Objection!

[groans]

Damn, my timing is just... Wow.

[grunts]

What is the meaning of this?

Your Evidence,
I have new eminence to present.

You'll need my sword.

Mythcarver.

Look into the blade
and you'll see the real culprit.

[Orthax] We have company.

[chuckles]

Can't have you watching.

So, you were telling the truth.

In light of this new evidence,

the group known as Vox Machina

is cleared of all charges.

-[Grog] Whoa.
-[Pike] Oh. [chuckles]

[exhales]

-[laughing]
-[indistinct chatter]

[Pike] We thought we lost you, there.

[sighs]

Holy sh*t, Scanlan,
I am so glad you found us.

Yeah. Me too.

[J'mon Sa Ord] Actually, I have
studied vestiges like your blade

for quite some time.

-[continues indistinctly]
-[pensive music playing]

You didn't need to take the blame.

But I am to blame for what I made.

For letting it loose in the world.

For not telling you
Ripley was tracking us in Vasselheim.

Seeing that demon... my demon...

still alive... I was ashamed.

And above all else,

I just didn't want you to see me that way.

Drowning in guilt
won't bring you what you want.

And what is it I want?

Right. So I've been thinking

long and hard about our options.

What'd you come up with?

Well, nothing. I just
wanted you to know I've been thinking.

Get it, buddies.

What options?

Ripley got away with it.

Without that vestige
we have no chance against Thordak's fire.

That would be true if she had actually

stolen the Plate of the Dawnmartyr.

I'm sorry?

I have witnessed firsthand Thordak's fury

and monitored his onslaught
through Tal'Dorei.

Grimly aware that he
or someone allied with him

may come for the Plate.

I did the only responsible thing.

I replaced it with a forgery.

What? Then where's the real one?

And can we, like, just borrow it?

That may prove difficult.

I hid it in a place
beyond even Thordak's reach.

Are you familiar
with the Hells of Despath?

Hells? As in "hells" hells?

Like, blood and demons
and all that cool sh*t?

Ooh, I... Oh, I mean,

all that bad sh*t, hmm?

The Plate is with a demon
called Zerxus Ilerez,

an antiquities collector
in the City of Dis.

So if we want the Plate,
we have to go to...

Hell.

-[all moan and groan]
-Yes!

[Pike] Oh, my tit!

[Dr. Dranzel] ♪ Well,
it caught me by surprise ♪

♪ When I looked into the eyes ♪

♪ Of a girl so beautiful
and so delightful ♪

♪ Delightful ♪

♪ With luscious hair and crimson skin ♪

♪ Her passion knows no bounds ♪

♪ You'll fall in love
with this courtesan tonight ♪

♪ She's your Ruby ♪

♪ A singer by the sea ♪

♪ Fulfilling all your fantasies ♪

♪ The Ruby ♪

♪ If you follow down her horns ♪

♪ They'll always lead to more ♪

♪ Ruby, Ruby, Ruby ♪

♪ Ruby ♪ ♪

Chirp.