03x01 - A Deadly Bargain

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music plays]

[dramatic music continues]

Tal'Dorei's kingdoms
lay broken at my feet,

yet my conclave continues to fail me.

Send me, my king.

I will dispatch those that threaten you.

You have your talents.

But with Umbrasyl fallen,

Raishan's mission
is more crucial than ever.

[grunts]

[sniffs]

We are not alone.

[snorts, snarls]

[roars]

[growling]

[chuffs]

Something was here.

[snarling]

What?

[dramatic music continues]

Oh, gods.

[Thordak] Yes.

My children soon will be gods.

[Thordak roars]

[grunting]

[roars]

[dramatic music continues]

[grunting]

[panting]

-[roars]
-[groans]

[grunts]

No!

[screaming]

[dramatic music plays]

[insects trilling]

[Raishan] Thordak is becoming irrational.

Insane.

Intent on stripping Tal'Dorei of its gold.

But not to satisfy his greed.

For another purpose.

What purpose?

[growls]

-Enough of this yappin'!
-Grog, don't!

[grunts, yells]

[crashing]

[Grog, strained] Okay.

Maybe a little more yappin'.

Everyone in this chamber shares a goal.

The end of the Cinder King.

And if you join me, it is a goal
we are capable of achieving.

We know firsthand what you're capable of.

Your kind razed Byroden.

Nearly everyone in our village dead.

Including our mother.

Not all dragons are the same.

Some can be cruel.

Some can be clever.

But some can be truthful.

Thordak did that to you?

Not exactly.

But he will be punished nonetheless.

So it's revenge you're after.

Not a stranger to vengeance, are you?

Then you know
it can create unusual allies.

[Scanlan] So what did he do to you?

Lovers' quarrel?

It's not what Thordak did.

-[fire monsters screeching]
-[Raishan] It's what he didn't do.

Trapped in the Fire Plane,

tethered to the soul anchor,

Thordak was a pathetic prisoner of flame.

[hisses]

Until I snuck through Pyrah
to strike a deal with him.

A runic curse afflicts me.

But centuries of survival
have given Thordak knowledge of a cure.

Free me, diseased deceiver,

and I shall free you of your ailment.

[Raishan] The bonds of the soul anchor
were unbreakable.

But with my magic,

he gave himself over to it.

Fused with it.

Its elemental force nourishing his body,

contaminating his mind.

[dramatic music plays]

[roars]

I begged him to use prudence.

But the gem gave him ungodly power.

[roars]

[gasping, screaming]

And uncontrollable rage.

He called himself king.

Demanded I find loyal subjects.

His conclave.

[Pike] And the cure?

There is no cure.

Then why not slay him yourself?

Your magic made him like this.

With that crystal in his chest,
neither of us can destroy him alone.

But together...

There is no "together," b*tch.

You opened that rift.

Half of Pyrah is dead because of you.

I freed him, yes.

He massacred your people, true.

I assume you wish me dead, Ashari?

That's an understatement.

Your wish will soon be granted.

The pain grows worse every day.

But I will see Thordak pay for his lies

before his plan comes to fruition.

Plan, plan... What plan?
This vague bullshit's getting old.

A new order of elemental dragons
born of his own spawn.

When his brood of eggs in Emon hatches,

your world will be bathed in fire.

-[roaring]
-[people screaming]

My vision.

When will these eggs hatch?

Weeks. Maybe days.

I mean, what are we waitin' for?
We got vesticles...

-[whispers] Vestiges.
-[stammers] They whupped Umbrasyl.

Let's charge that castle

-and whup him, too!
-[Raishan] Ha.

You'd be destroyed in a heartbeat.

You may have vestiges
but not the one you need.

The Plate of the Dawnmartyr.

Magical armor
that can repel hellfire itself.

It has felled dragons before.

And it can again.

I don't suppose you brought
this thing with you

in, like, a big purse or, like, a tote?

It resides in Ank'Harel.

Located by Umbrasyl
before you destroyed him.

Now another treasure hunter seeks it.

So time is of the essence.

Raishan, go f*ck yourself.

Anyone can conjure illusions.

This is clearly an ambush.

And we are not falling for it.

The answer is no.

You all agree with the Ashari?

We're a team.

Without an alliance, I die.

As do you.

But if that's the path you've chosen...

No, no, don't let her do it.

[others groaning, coughing]

Kima.

-[groans]
-Shaun.

Are you all right?

Waking in your arms again?

Oh, you should start charging me.

[chuckles softly]

[Yennen] Ow.

For the last time, Grog, it's me.

Mm-hmm. Well, then say something

only the real Keeper Yennen would know.

[Yennen groans]

Sometimes you wear a crown
and call yourself

"Grand Poo-bah de Mayonnaise"
when no one's looking.

Yeah, okay, it's her.

Thank the Dawnfather
she only locked you in the dungeon.

It could have been far worse.

[Percy] The question remains.

Do we dare chase down this armor?

Conspire with Raishan?

No way.

She k*lled Sovereign Uriel.

It's a deal with a devil.

[Pike] But how badass would it be

if we rolled in riding a f*cking dragon?

Knock-knock, Thordak! Acid!

Uh, she shoots poison.

Oh. Right.

Knock-knock, Thordak!

Poison!

If she helps defeat the conclave,
that's well worth it.

I don't like this, either,
but Raishan could have just attacked us.

She wanted to talk.

Maybe we should listen.

To a mass m*rder*r?

Sometimes a stiff moral code
must be bent for the greater good.

No!

I will not dishonor the Ashari.

[Keyleth screeches]

I'll go after her.

So, we all going out the window?

[Pike sighs]

[insects trilling]

[birds calling]

[rustling]

Whoever's there,

you don't want to f*ck with me tonight.

I don't doubt it.

The idea of working with that monster.

After what she did to my people.

I know.

And the rest of the team.

It always feels like
my opinions don't count.

They count with me.

Do they, Vax?

[sighs] Y-You've been so...

different.

I miss you.

There were things I needed to understand.

With the Matron.

And do you?

Not everything. But enough.

There's a balance.

Like I'm finally ready for...

whatever comes next.

I'm glad you have someone
who supports you.

[sighs] Kiki.

I can be that person for you,

if you need me to.

I need that a lot right now.

[whimpering]

[screaming and crying]

Sorry. Sorry. Was that bad?

I-I felt your tongue,
and it freaked me out,

and-and I'm-I'm new at this and...

No, no, it was wonderful.

Just... intense.

And, um, I-I need a moment.

Oh, um, okay.

I'll walk back first, then,

so no one suspects.

I'll see you there.

You're up early.

Never slept. I hate our options.

And I hate how it's driving a wedge
between the group.

Bollocks.

What's really bothering you, darling?

[sighs] When the Briarwoods came,

no one could have prevented it.

But this... I did this.

I had us flee here, and Raishan followed.

I've endangered my people once more.

The way you self-analyze,
I've always admired it.

But at some point,
you have to forgive yourself.

No one can undo the past.

Well, one can certainly try.

You may know me better
than I know myself, Vex'ahlia.

And you're right, I must focus
on the problems ahead.

On fixing this.

Well, not this. This is rubbish.

-[growls]
-I know we can.

Together.

[growls]

-[Percy grunts]
-[Vex] Hmm.

Right. [clears throat]

I was thinking, it won't matter
whether Raishan is lying

if we can get to those eggs.

If they're real, we'd have an ally.

And if they aren't...

Then we let our vestiges do the talking.

Shall we wake the others?

-Trinket?
-[Trinket roars a mighty roar]

Sun Tree, if you can hear me,
grant us luck.

[indistinct voice echoing]

[Gilmore] A stealth mission
into a dragon's lair.

You've come a long way
from stealing from my shop,

my handsome half-elf.

Ah, you know. Same game, bigger walls.

The item you requested.

Should make quite a show.

I'd expect nothing less, Shaun.

[Grog] This feels weird every time.

Hmm.

[Pike] Whoa. Place looks like sh*t.

[sighs] Good to be home.

All right, huddle up.

As we know, I'll be making
a daring aerial incursion.

Which is certain to fail.

I mean, I wouldn't say "certain."

Is highly likely to fail.

-[overlapping chatter]
-I'm sort of with Vex on this one.

Thank you, Stubby.

In any case, you all have
your backup assignments.

Yep.

I'm on rock duty.

[Scanlan] Me and Grog will get
up close and personal with our vestiges.

[Grog] Vesticles.

[Vex] With mine circling overhead.

[Pike] I'll be watching Vax.

[Percy] And I'll be ready
with the signal for when he fails.

If. If I fail.

Sure, brother. Sure.

Plan sounds aces.

What could possibly go wrong?

[dramatic music plays]

No! [screams]

[groans]

[Vorugal growls]

[pained yelling]

sh*t, sh*t. Do the thing!

[yells, laughs]

Let's give him a taste of our toys!

♪ Mythcarver h*! ♪

More insects.

Oh, f*ck!

A bigger target.

[yells]

[dramatic music continues]

[frightened whimpering]

[Vex] Oi! Thordak!

[grunting]

Come on. We need to rejoin the fight.

No, damn it.

She was right about all of it.

The eggs, the nest.

The vestiges aren't enough.

We need to run.

[Vorugal roaring]

[pained cry]

[Thordak] These are the vestiges
Umbrasyl coveted?

Your relics will lie in ash
with your corpses.

[Pike] Go! Take cover!

[straining]

[gasps]

Pike!

[grunting]

[suspenseful music plays]

We need to hide! Now!

[Vex] Quickly! In there!

Can't run, can't hide. What do we do?

[Thordak] The arrogance!

That you would dare enter my domain?

-Raishan?
-Careful where you point that.

This is your fault.

You told Thordak we were coming.

Fool. I warned you.

Get us out of here, and we'll reconsider.

Finally, a rational mind.

Come close.

Group hug. Everybody get intimate.

[grunts]

[cries out]

[pained yelling]

Somebody put out that fire.

I gotcha. Just... Aah!

[yelling continues]

Kiki...

Hold still. Try not to move.

Now do you trust me?

Then make haste for Ank'Harel.

[suspenseful music plays]

[Thordak roars]

[Thordak] You're safe, my progeny.

Safe.

But how did they get that close?

[pained grunt]

No, it's all right. Shh.

It won't happen again.

For I will have Vox Machina brought to me,

and they shall burn.

[dramatic music plays,
with singer majestically vocalizing]

-[laughter]
-[indistinct chatter]

[Gilmore] Ank'Harel, the Jewel of Marquet.

Also, fun fact, my old stomping grounds.

Over here is the famed Suncut Bazaar.

The River District, where you can find
anything your heart desires.

And I do mean anything.

Ah.

Those fearsome men in uniform
are the Hand of Ord.

Guardians of the mysterious emperex
of this place, J'mon Sa Ord.

And down this street is where
your dragon friend said

we'd find the vestige.

I, uh, don't suppose you want to break in
and steal a priceless relic for us?

Mm. I'm a salesman now, friend.

All your palace intrigue,
no longer intriguing.

If you need me, I'll be sipping
a glass of Stassman down the street.

Ta-ta.

Hey, uh, Gil, if a fella were looking for

a traveling musical act around here,

where would he start?

Where do you think you're going?

Vex, remember that favor you owe me?

[Vax] All right, we know the drill.

Simple smash-and-grab. Home by supper.

[Percy] Easier said than done.

It's high noon. There are eyes everywhere.

Then we call it off.

What?

Raishan's holding all the cards,
and we're exactly where she wants us.

Vax?

What other play do we have?

I-I don't know.

But I refuse to believe
that our only two choices

are Raishan or failure.

-Keyleth, I...
-[weapons firing]

-Percy? That sounded like...
-[guards shouting]

-[weapons firing]
-[yelling in distance]

[tense music plays]

[screaming in distance]

We're not the only ones
who want that plate.

These wounds.

Hey. Stay with me. Who did this to you?

She is still here.

[weapon firing]

[tense, dramatic music plays]

A pepperbox. It can't be.

Percy, we need to keep our heads
if we're going to...

-Right behind you, Percy!
-Wait!

[both grunt]

[tense, up-tempo music plays]

[gasps]

[onlookers gasp]

Everyone, get down!

[groaning]

Sorry.

I'll try to stabilize him.

Vex, your broom. Follow them.

I... I gave it to Scanlan.

You what?!

[vocalizing an upbeat tune]

[tense, dramatic music plays]

[dramatic music plays,
with singer majestically vocalizing]

-Vax, look out! [whimpers]
-[grunts]

-[pottery shatters]
-Ah, sh*t. Sorry.

[tense, dramatic music plays]

[gasps]

[scoffs]

-Spice?
-[gasps]

Aah! Uh, I'm sorry, what?

You spice? Spice it?

What? Oh.

Uh, I mean, sometime...

No, no, not right now. I'm... [sighs]

I'm going to see my daughter.

Oh.

Does she spice?

Dude.

[passes gas]

-[onlooker] Huh?
-[passes gas]

[exhales sharply]

[guards shouting in foreign language]

Dr. Anna Ripley.

Why am I not surprised, Percival?

Then again, you put things together
faster than anyone I've met.

Hand over the vestige,
and I may let you live.

Which one?

Mythcarver was quite handy
before you stole it back.

Ah, you've improved my old prototype.

How flattering.

There's nowhere to run, Ripley.

You're all alone.

Oh, that's the thing, Percival.

I'm never alone.

[suspenseful music plays]

[demonic voice] We had a bargain, Percy.

And I will happily collect.

[upbeat music plays]

[Scanlan vocalizing]

[Scanlan] ♪ Do ya spice? ♪

♪ Oh, ah, gotcha, unh! ♪

♪ You wanna spice? ♪

♪ Sexy mama ♪

♪ Oh, get nice with me and spice ♪♪

[Scanlan scatting]

[Scanlan vocalizing upbeat melody]

Chirp.