(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-(GOLF CLUB CLACKS)
(GOLF CLUB CLACKS)
Not your best, Jack.
Nah, it's all right. No problem.
Now, just to remind you,
two putts for the tie.
A three putt...
and I win.
I don't like either
of those options.
When was the last time
I lost to you, Declan?
I have never beaten you,
as you well know.
So, if I were to miss this
after 40 years
of playing together,
that would be...
would be quite something,
wouldn't it?
All right, here goes.
Oh, I don't believe it. oh!
(EXHALES SHARPLY, LAUGHS)
You know, I thought about
missing that putt on purpose
and finally giving you
a chance of glory.
Your eyes must be
failing you, Jack.
You've left it short.
Just give it a second.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, I swear to God,
Jack Finnegan.
You must have made
a deal with the devil.
The devil?
Nah, it's the golf gods.
They keep smiling on me.
(LAUGHS)
There's the man everyone
on tour is talking about.
-How you doing, Patrick?
-PATRICK: Hey.
How are things, Mr. Finnegan?
What the f*ck is this,
Mr. Finnegan?
-(LAUGHS)
-All right. We're partners now.
-All right. All right.
-You're part of the family. Please call me Freddy.
All right, Freddy.
Bill, always good to see you.
-Good to see you, Freddy.
-How's it goin'? Good, good.
So, how are we feeling?
-You guys like everything that Stacey's pulled for you.
-Good. Yeah, 100 percent.
-It's great.
-STACEY: Yeah.
Well, he loves the new patterns
on these shirts here.
And I like the new logo, too.
Yeah.
You see? Of course, he does,
'cause the kid has great taste.
I know. I know.
I fought him on the new design.
-Oh, yeah.
-My son came up with the idea,
so obviously,
I'm a little biased, all right?
-That's fair. (LAUGHS)
-But let me ask you, I'm curious,
how do you feel about some
of these bold new color combos
we're going with this year?
I hope you like
the blue and orange
because it is a nod
to my beloved New York Knicks.
Well, the... the pants might be
a little too bold for me.
Besides, I'm...
I'm a Lakers fan.
Is that a fact? Wow, Bill.
Okay, we may have to rethink
this whole relationship, huh?
(ALL LAUGH)
Obviously, Patrick,
I'm only f*cking with you.
Stacey, you know
what we should do?
We should put together
a purple and gold look in time
-for the open, maybe, right?
-Yeah, sure.
-(CELLPHONE RINGING)
-Okay and speaking of my son,
this is him now,
so you're gonna have
to excuse me a minute,
all right? I'll be right back.
Hey.
I'm not going to wear
purple and gold, by the way.
Yeah, that's... that's okay.
So, you're going to love this.
I got Paddy Mac
in the office right now,
and he just told me he loves
the new logo. How cool is that?
See? Aren't you glad
you went with my idea?
Yeah, of course
I went with your idea
because you're my son,
and I love you.
And it was a great idea,
which is exactly why, Frankie,
you should come
and work with me.
Think how cool would it be.
Me and you working together
side by side.
FRANKIE: Okay, Dad, I don't know
what this new kick you're on
is all about,
but I'm a musician,
-not a business guy.
-FREDDY: Yeah, I know.
But I don't understand
why you can't do both.
Have a real job with me
that helps pay the bills
and then you do your music
on the side.
Okay, Dad, let's just agree
to not discuss this
anymore, okay?
Okay, I apologize, but I'm a dad
who wants to spend more time
with his son, so sh**t me.
FRANKIE: Well,
if you really want to hang out,
why don't you get your a*s
down here
and play another 18 with me?
Just finishing up
my first round now.
Look, you know I wish I could,
but I can't today.
But do me a favor,
don't k*ll yourself out there,
because no amount of practice
is going to help your cause...
FRANKIE: Quiet on the course,
please, old man?
I'm about to stick this
on the green.
(MELODIC MUSIC PLAYING)
FRANKIE: sh*t, f*ck. (GROANS)
All right, Dad, I got to go
because I clearly have more work
to do.
TEDDY: No, no, it's true.
Sadly, after 30 years
of playing with the professor,
none of us
have ever beaten him.
Please do not remind me.
Your father is almost
80 years old, isn't he?
Yeah, I know
it's embarrassing, babe,
but you also have
to understand,
he is the most competitive
pain in the a*s
you've ever met.
And he will stop at nothing
to ensure victory for himself,
including chirping in your ear
when you're standing
-above a putt on 18.
-Let it go.
Yeah, but he's still
an 80 year old man.
Yeah, and I believe
I already said
it's a little embarrassing,
didn't I?
Sarah, in their defense,
the professor has played
on tour for almost 20 years.
He's not to be taken
lightly at any age.
Which is why I have
an announcement to make today.
I am going to sit
this year's tournament out.
FRANKIE: What?
No, Dad, come on.
You have to play.
I can't do it. I just cannot do
the whole thing with him again.
The long winded speeches,
the drinking
of the Molly Mayhems,
and God forbid
he gets his load on
and he wants to do his rendition
of "The Parting Glass."
Because you have
a heart of stone.
Sarah, I'm sorry.
I know you've only been married
for a short time,
but unfortunately, I'm afraid
you will find this out.
-Do not listen to this man's lies, all right?
-Mm-hmm.
Yeah, Dad, how can you say that?
I love Grandpa
and his ceremonies and rituals.
You need to hear
the mashie niblick speech again?
Yes, I do, and the closest
to the pin competition,
which I plan on winning
this year, by the way.
And lash them straight,
laddies. I love it all.
You see, Freddy,
you are the only
wet blanket in this group.
We all love the old man
and his traditions.
I think I have to side
with Freddy on some of this.
What? Why?
Because I don't like the way
he pits you two
against one another
all the time.
This endless competition,
it's not healthy.
-It's harmless.
-Eva, thank you.
And therefore, it is settled.
I'm not playing this year,
so please, enjoy yourselves.
Hm. Well, if Uncle Freddy
isn't planning on playing,
then maybe I can
finally join, right?
-Great.
-Great idea.
Unless the Finnegan Cup
wants to continue
its 75 year long history
of discrimination against women?
It's up to you.
You know, whatever.
Wait, is this true?
What kind of family
have I married into?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
The only reason a woman has
not competed for the cup
is because no Finnegan woman,
prior to yourself,
has played golf.
EVA: Excuse me.
I used to play a little bit,
but I could never really find
the time
because some of us have
very demanding full-time jobs.
-(MARIE SCOFFING) Mom.
-Ow. (CHUCKLES)
Uh, I am suffering
from writer's block,
which should not be cause
for mockery and jokes.
Thank you very much.
But if Freddy is indeed
not going to play...
My mind is made up.
...then, Marie, of course,
you should play.
-What a great idea.
-Oh.
EVA: Um, absolutely not.
How is she going to do that
on such short notice?
She's got exams next week
that she has to study for.
Okay, Mom, I could study
down there,
and I can study on the flights.
I'm a capable student.
I can study.
Absolutely not.
Your finals are more important
than golf.
Dad, I mean, come on.
You just... you just said
that I could so I can, right?
-Sorry, kid.
-Dad.
What your mother says goes.
Although, I will disagree
with her on one point.
Nothing is more important
than golf.
You must be excited
about the boys arriving?
Yep. Their flight
should get in around 5:00.
That should give us
enough daylight
for the closest to the pin
competition.
You're a lucky man, Jack.
I hope you know that.
Oh, yeah. The game has given me
many blessings, Declan,
but it also took me away
from the boys.
And well, because of that,
I have some regrets as you know.
-I do, but do the boys know?
-JACK: Huh?
Maybe that's what this visit
should be about.
Find a time to tell them
how you feel.
What, face to face?
Like some kind of sensitive Yank
talking to a shrink? God, no.
Come on, Jack,
they deserve to know. (SIGHS)
Well, maybe I'll put it
in a letter.
A letter? For f*ck's sake, Jack.
(SIGHS)
Trust me, Jack if you don't tell
the boys how you feel,
it'll be another regret
to add to the list.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
FREDDY: That's the one.
That's the one. Come on.
Be the number.
Be the number. Yes!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
Hey, big brother,
what can I do for you?
Are you going to disappoint
your father
or are you going to be
a big boy and a good son
and let bygones be bygones?
After what he pulled last year?
No, I'm sitting this one out,
all right?
You guys can enjoy
South Carolina without me.
Oh, my Lord,
change the record, would you?
Are you really going to play
the injured puppy?
He interrupted me
in the middle of a putt
to ask me a question on 18,
when I had a one stroke lead.
Why did he do it?
Because he knew
that was the year
I was finally going to beat him.
Yeah, but you went on
to four putt.
Is that his fault, too?
Yeah, yeah, because he got
inside my head,
which is what he always does,
right?
Oh, my God. Freddy... (SIGHS)
...I know he can be
a pain in the a*s,
but how much longer do you think
he's going to be around?
How many more Finnegan Cups
do you think
we're going to have together?
More importantly,
how many more chances
do you think you're going
to have to finally beat him?
Okay. Well, that I had
not considered.
(SIGHS)
All right, fine, I'll go.
But it doesn't mean
I'm going to play nice with him.
Have you ever? So, you're in?
-I'm in.
-Oh, good. That was easy.
All right, later.
Later.
All right, Declan,
just had a text from the boys.
They'll be pulling up
any minute.
Just remember
what we talked about, Jack.
-You and Freddy play nice.
-All right. All right.
I'll do me best.
There they are now.
(LAUGHS)
There's the big hitter.
Come on over here.
Give your grandfather a hug.
(LAUGHS)
-Good to see you.
-FRANKIE: You too.
JACK: There they are.
Pin one. Pin two.
Theodore. (LAUGHS)
My eldest, my firstborn.
Heir to the throne,
you might say.
Except, unfortunately,
he didn't inherit
his father's swing.
Still, tries his best,
don't you, Teddy?
How you doing, Pop?
Great to see you.
And you son, and you.
(LAUGHS) Frederick.
Dad, I have payment
for last year's wager
and it was not cheap.
Huh. You were right.
-He did remember.
-I told you.
And of course,
it is always such a...
great pleasure to see you.
(SCOFFS) Get your a*s over here.
I'm your father,
for f*ck's sake. (LAUGHS)
Right. Come on, lads,
in we go. In we go.
Oh, boy.
How many years you been playing
with us now, Francis?
He took Uncle Jim's spot
after he died,
so when was that?
And why do I remember that?
Oh, yeah.
That's the same year
that he graduated from college.
And instead of coming
to work with the old man,
he decides to join
a freaking rock band.
Okay, I didn't join a rock band.
I formed a rock band.
Big difference.
And we made two albums
that kicked a*s.
And I got to tour the world,
meet all kinds
of interesting people,
have a once in a lifetime
love affair,
all while doing
something that I love.
Sounds a lot like playing
the PGA tour, boy.
DECLAN: Hard to argue
with that, Francis.
Jack, I'm going to set
things up on the 16th.
I will see you boys shortly.
All right, it's time
for the customary
kickoff c*ck.
Your grandmother's
very own recipe.
Molly's Mayhem.
To the first of many toasts
and many drinks.
Gentlemen, it's a pleasure
to have you back in my home,
and it's an even greater
pleasure to have us all together
for the annual golf tournament.
These outings with family
have been the happiest moments
of my life,
right back from when I was
playing with my father
and my grandfather
back in Wicklow,
where I first learned
this beautiful game.
To us, the Finnegan Foursome.
ALL: The Finnegan Foursome.
Right.
Come on, young Francis,
follow me.
I want to show you this.
There is no way
I'm drinking this sh*t.
But you're going to try
to be nice.
JACK: Now, there's a lot
of trophies on these shelves.
But this here, take that.
This is the most important.
It's the Finnegan's Cup.
Oh, would you look?
Looks like a fella
named Jack Finnegan
-has been running the table for quite some time.
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Wow. Dad, your humility
never ceases to amaze.
I could say the same
for your sarcasm
and your bitterness.
Oh, look what just happens
to be sitting right here,
a copy of your book.
Let me see if this sounds
at all familiar to you, Dad.
"A win with poor sportsmanship
is no victory at all."
"Whereas grace and success
marks the true champion."
Hard to believe
that's attributed
to the great Jack Finnegan.
There's also a good quote
in there
about being a sore loser.
Maybe you'd like to read
that as well?
Okay, you two, settle down.
We're not even
on the golf course yet.
What about this
picture, Grandpa?
Is that Arnold Palmer?
JACK:
That was taken back in '72.
That's me
and the big three, huh? (LAUGHS)
But here, take a look at this.
Now, that's me
and the other big three,
my grandfather, my father,
and my brother Jim.
God rest their souls.
And that's why
we celebrate this every year.
It is to celebrate
them, Francis.
Now, give me that.
Come on, let's get outside,
take these drinks with us.
Get down to the real order
of business. Follow me, laddies.
So, what do you think, Francis?
Maybe this new year you get
to wear the jacket, Huh?
FRANKIE: I'm planning
on it, Grandpa.
Uh, he's going to have
to wait, old man,
'cause this is the year
I'm finally taking you down.
(LAUGHS)
I like your confidence, Freddy.
But if history is any indicator,
you'll finish like Norman
at the Masters.
-Or Mickelson in '06.
-Come on, guys.
I don't think that's fair.
Freddy's blow up
was much worse than that.
(LAUGHS)
You know, Freddy,
I was starting to worry
you were going
to be a no show this year
-on account of that devastating choke at 18 last year.
-(LAUGHS)
Keep talking smack, old man.
But you heard it here first.
-Your days are numbered.
-(LAUGHS)
My days are numbered.
We'll soon see about that.
-DECLAN: Welcome, gentlemen.
-(LAUGHS)
DECLAN: You all know
why you're here.
The Closest to the Pin
competition.
(ALL LAUGH)
Thank you. You may rise.
(ALL LAUGH)
Thanks, Declan.
Fifty-nine years ago,
on the eve of my leaving Ireland
for America, my father,
God rest his soul,
took me out to the par 3 17th
at Waterville,
his favorite par 3
in all of Ireland.
And from his bag
he took out his favorite club,
the hickory shafted
mashie niblick.
And with this club,
on that hole years earlier,
he hit his only hole in one.
My father then gave me
the opportunity
to win this treasured club
from him
if I could hit one closer
to the pin than he could.
And if I could, well then,
I could take his prized
mashie niblick with me
to America as a reminder of him,
as a reminder of home,
and as a reminder
that he would never forgive
me for leaving Ireland.
But, since I stand before you
here today with this club,
and since you've all heard
this story many times before,
well, you all know the outcome.
And as we do every year,
I now give you the opportunity
to win my father's prize club
from me.
Right. Let's lash them
straight, laddies.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-FRANKIE: That looks good.
-Oh, my God.
-FRANKIE: The old man's still got it.
-(LAUGHS)
Oh, my God. How in the hell does
he still do this at his age?
And as we've seen
too many times before,
the old man's hard to beat.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
Second place kid is up next.
-FRANKIE: Come on, Dad.
-FREDDY: Second place kid, huh?
I told you, you're going
down this year, old man.
-JACK: You're in trouble, Freddy.
-FREDDY: No, no.
That's going to come on back.
Come on back. Come on back.
Will you look at the kick
on that?
Never the bride, Freddy.
Never the bride.
Thanks, Pop. Always love those words
of encouragement from you, Dad.
All right, Teddy,
let's see what you got.
You know, Grandpa,
I still can't believe
in all your years of playing,
you've never seen a hole in one.
Well, young Francis,
that is about to change.
What, a hole in one?
I got 50 right now that says
you won't even hit the green.
FRANKIE:
Oh, that's looking good.
(CROWD CHEERS)
FREDDY:
Are you kidding me?
I know you always welch
on your bets,
so I know better
than to expect my five-O.
My wallet is back at the house, okay?
You'll get your money.
Come on, Francis,
you get up next.
All right, big boy.
Okay, I would just like to say
I haven't been playing
as much as I'd like,
so I might be a little rusty.
TEDDY:
Got news for you, Francis.
No one gets to play
as much as they'd like to.
It's all about
a healthy balance, boys.
You play too much golf,
it interferes
with your relationships.
That's why I restrict myself
just two rounds a day.
(CHUCKLES)
He said healthy balance, right? So what does
that mean? You see your kids once a month?
Grandpa, this one's for you.
TEDDY: Oh, notwithstanding the shape of
it, it looks pretty good.
FREDDY: Oh, my God,
that might go.
That might go. That might go.
TEDDY: Oh, great shot.
That is all over it.
FRANKIE: Be the number.
Be the number! Be the number!
-FRANKIE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
-(SCREAMS)
(ALL LAUGH, CHEER)
-FREDDY: That's my boy!
-(GRUNTS, SCREAMS)
FREDDY:
I don't f*cking believe it.
-Holy sh*t.
-Wait, Grandpa!
-Grandpa.
-TEDDY: Oh, God.
-FRANKIE: Hey.
-TEDDY: Dad?
-I'll call 911.
-Dad, Dad.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
I swear, Freddy.
-I can't believe he's gone.
-(SIGHS) Man, I know.
But if you're going to go,
go out doing what you love, I guess.
There wasn't a man alive who
loved the game more than he did.
Here's to the old man.
Great teacher, great golfer,
and a great father.
Great teacher, yes.
Great golfer, without a doubt.
Great father,
when he was around, sure.
And pretty much only to you.
-Really?
-You know what irks me?
And I know I probably shouldn't
say this out loud...
-Then please don't.
-This was the year.
This was the year
I was going to beat him.
No, it isn't, because he would
have done what he always did.
Mind f*ck you into a triple
bogey on the final hole.
No, no, no.
It wasn't gonna happen
because I've been doing
some work on myself,
and now I can control my temper,
keep my sh*t in check.
And I think
he might have known that.
Oh, so maybe he died
just to put the screws to you
-one final time?
-Would you put it past him?
Wow, Uncle Freddy,
you are a sad, sick individual.
You see, even she knows
I'm right.
So, big boy,
I've been meaning to ask you.
How you doing with the guilt?
The guilt? For what?
-Marie, don't pick on him.
-Hole in one.
In the excitement of the moment,
you never considered
that maybe that's what gave
Grandpa the heart attack?
No. What?
That's not... What...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You don't think that's what
everyone else thinks, do you?
(MUMBLES) Maybe ask Declan.
You knew Grandpa
better than anybody, so...
Well, as you know,
I caddied for your grandfather
for 20 years. I played golf
with him for 25 after that.
(INHALES) And in all of that time,
he had never seen a hole in one.
So, I don't know,
maybe Marie has a point.
-(CHUCKLES)
-Wow. You guys are terrible. Do you know that?
-(DECLAN LAUGHS)
-(LAUGHS)
So, Declan, I hate to be morbid,
but I'm dying to know.
How did you fly up
with the ashes?
You check it with the luggage or
did you carry it on the plane?
No, no, no.
I have them right here.
Kept them with me
the whole time.
Safe and sound.
What the hell?
These are the ashes right here?
You didn't want to put it
in an urn or something?
-Those were his wishes.
-His wishes were to be buried in a plastic garbage bag?
No. He doesn't want to be buried at all.
(INHALES SHARPLY)
He wants his ashes scattered
over four very specific
locations all back in Ireland.
And it will be of no surprise
where he wants some
of those ashes distributed.
-Carne?
-DECLAN: Correct.
It is so perfect.
It was your grandfather's
favorite golf course
back in Ireland.
Did he really want his ashes
scattered on a golf course,
or is this some kind of ruse
you all came up with in order
-to go to Ireland to play golf?
-No, no, no.
I swear to you,
these were his wishes.
Look, I have it all written down
on a napkin.
-On a napkin?
-DECLAN: Uh huh.
From a pub, last time
we played golf back in Ireland.
Now, keep in mind,
this is the same pub
where he met your grandmother
back when they were teenagers.
And, well, I guess
having just lost
your poor mother,
he started thinking
about his own mortality,
and that is when
he came up with this plan.
Wrote it all down
over a few pints.
Can I see that, Declan?
Where else
does he want them scattered?
The family farm.
Where he married
your grandmother
under his grandfather's
apple trees.
The Wicklow Head Lighthouse.
Down on the beach
where he asked her to marry him.
Wow. Boy, who knew Grandpa
was such a sentimental romantic.
And the last location.
Big surprise. Blaine Row.
Let me guess. That's where
they had their first kiss.
No, he wasn't that romantic.
It's another golf course.
Where Grandpa learned to play.
As a young lad with his father
and his grandfather.
Which reminds me.
Francis, come with me. (SIGHS)
This, I believe,
is now rightfully yours.
Oh, I don't know if I should,
you know? Given everything.
Oh, you can take it as long
as you promise never to repeat
-the mashie niblick speech, okay?
-(CHUCKLES)
No promises.
-It's a beautiful plan, Declan.
-DECLAN: It is.
So, he didn't want a service
or a headstone or a funeral?
Nothing like that.
sh*t, you know your father
wasn't much for religion,
apart from golf, obviously.
Something to consider.
If we are going to do this,
go to Ireland,
scatter the ashes,
see all these beautiful courses.
It would be a shame not to
get a couple of rounds in.
-I like the way you're thinking.
-As I suspected.
DECLAN: Actually, that was also
one of Jack's wishes.
He wanted to make sure
that the Finnegan's Cup
continued without him,
and he very much wanted Marie
to take his place and be the first
female to compete for the cup.
-Really?
-TEDDY: How great is this?
Marie can finally play
in the tournament
and the storied legacy
of the Finnegan's Cup
can continue on.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTS)
Good day, sir.
Welcome to Carton House.
-TEDDY: Thank you very much.
-Are you checking in?
-Finnegan. Yes.
-Finnegan.
-The Finnegan Foursome.
-The Finnegan Foursome.
-Thank you.
-Reception is this way, sir.
What did I tell you?
Is this place incredible
or what?
Remember when we came here
with Mom and Dad?
Oh, yeah.
That was a hell of a vacation.
It was your grandparents'
first trip back to Ireland
since they left in the '50s.
And the idea was they wanted
to bring their two boys back
to the old country
so we could meet our relatives
and see the sights.
But most importantly,
it was about us spending time
together as a family
because our father
was always working.
But that didn't
quite happen, did it?
You're still bitter about this?
No, no. I wouldn't say
I'm bitter. I would say
I'm disappointed, saddened,
scarred for life, maybe.
Why? What happened?
FREDDY: Because our father did
what he always did.
His work took precedence
over his family.
An old friend of his,
Christy O'Conner,
Irish golf legend,
called the old man to see
if he could help out
with a few guys over here
who were getting ready
for the Ryder Cup.
Which is a fine excuse
for a couple of days,
but we didn't see him
for the whole week.
Hey, we had a great time
with Mom, didn't we?
Yeah, because we always
had a great time with Mom,
because Mom was a saint.
God rest her soul.
And speaking
of her saintly self,
is this her old
Lady Baltimore luggage?
-MARIE: Mm hmm.
-She loved this stuff.
Yeah.
After you k*lled Grandpa,
he left them to me.
Okay, is this going
to be your joke the whole week?
I did not k*ll Grandpa, okay?
-Not a joke.
-I did not k*ll Grandpa.
So, we've got each
of the gentlemen
in a house suite,
and I've upgraded
the lovely young couple
into a deluxe suite.
(STAMMERS)
W... w... wait. Lovely couple?
Who exactly would that be?
Ah! No, no, no, my dear.
See, me and Lady Baltimore here
are not a couple.
-We're cousins.
-Apologies.
I'm actually single.
(CHUCKLES) Heartbroken.
-Very sad.
-She ended it.
Okay.
-This is really hard to watch.
-I'm here for the summer.
No, no. What he's trying to say is
that we're gonna need another room.
Yeah, because I was
also under the impression
that we booked four rooms,
given there are four of us.
We did book four rooms.
I booked four rooms.
It's all settled.
There's no problem.
I booked four rooms, correct?
Incorrect.
We don't have any single rooms
available this week.
However, you could double up.
We could bring up a cot,
or you could share a bed.
He's your son.
You should bunk with him.
-I should bunk with him, huh?
-Yeah.
Okay. You clearly have never
heard him snore.
All right, I think there's only
one fair solution for this.
We're gonna putt for it.
One putt each.
The two ba*ls furthest
from the hole
have to bunk up together.
-Sound good?
-Sounds great.
Problem solved.
Okay, young master Finnegan,
let's see what you got.
All right, watch and learn.
School is in session.
Oh, come on. Be right.
Be... Ah!
FREDDY: That's tough.
That's tough.
-I'll take it.
-It'll be tough to beat.
But fortunately for me,
I have broken out
the trusted Calamity Jane
for this trip.
Now, why would you do this
to yourself?
You're just setting yourself up
for failure.
I mean, how old
is that friggin' putter?
This is the same exact club
that Bobby Jones used
for all those championships
that he won.
If it was good enough
for Mr. Jones...
it's good enough for me.
Yeah! All right. Well, okay.
Obviously, you are
no Bobby Jones, my brother.
(SMACKS LIPS) Ladies and gents,
this is how we do it.
Come on. Come on.
That is looking good!
-Nah, m*therf*cker!
-It went... went past it.
What the f*ck was that?
I see what you're saying about
keeping that anger in check.
-(SIGHS)
-FRANKIE: All right, Lady Baltimore, pressure is off.
Just get it, I mean,
anywhere kind of close
to the hole and these two will be
sleeping in a bed together tonight.
Yeah, that shouldn't
be a problem.
(SMACKS LIPS, INHALES)
You know what?
Let's keep it interesting.
Whichever one of our ba*ls
is closest to the hole,
their father gets the bed,
the other gets the cot.
-Unless these two want to, you know, share a bed.
-No.
Yeah. There will be no sharing
of beds.
Well, so it's a bet?
I have faith in you, kid.
-Okay.
-All right.
See it. Strike it.
Sink it.
FREDDY: Look at this.
Look at this.
-Right inside his ball.
-FRANKIE: No way. No way.
-(LAUGHS)
-Oh, my Lord, are you kidding me?
Are you freaking kidding me?
The first Finnegan female
to compete for the cup
-and she comes out g*ns a blazing.
-Yep.
-Sorry.
-(LAUGHS)
I hope this is all right
for you, sir? (GRUNTS)
Oh, he's going to sleep
like a prince on that.
-Thank you, young man.
-Ah, pleasure.
But excuse me, sir.
Is it true that you're Teddy
Finnegan, the writer?
That's right, I am.
Well, it's an honor to meet you.
I'm a huge fan of your books.
Really? Thanks.
I appreciate that.
If my brother sounds
at all surprised,
it's just that he very rarely
hears that.
You know, someone admits
to being a fan of his work.
I've read them all.
Of course, the Jimmy Knight
books are my favorites,
but I'll admit
I was a bit disappointed
when you k*lled him off
in the last book.
Yeah, well, in retrospect,
that actually might have
been a mistake.
It's because Teddy's
got writer's block.
What is it going on
two years now?
And at this pace,
it seems doubtful
that he'll ever write again.
(SMACKS LIPS)
Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear
that, but you are in Ireland
and you wouldn't be the first man
of letters to find inspiration here.
From your lips to God's ears.
And thanks again
for delivering my brother's bed.
I especially love
how thin the mattress is.
That's a wonderful job.
Oh, oh.
Oh, what is... Oh, what is this?
(GRUNTS)
It's such a big, beautiful bed.
So comfortable. (GROANS)
Hey, just so you know,
that bet was total bullshit.
Your putt was, what,
90 feet from the hole?
Not even close.
If anyone should be sleeping
on that cot,
it should be you, not me.
I hope that mattress
isn't too uncomfortable for you
because I would hate for it
to affect your swing
-tomorrow morning.
-Oh, don't worry about that.
There's going to be payback
on the course tomorrow.
Oh, by the way, totally forgot.
Did you remember
to bring the ashes?
What are you talking about?
I wasn't supposed to bring the ashes.
You were supposed
to bring the ashes.
-That was the deal.
-When did that become the deal?
I don't remember
discussing that.
Oh, yeah, no, we discussed it
at length
because, remember, I'm against
the whole ashes thing?
I wanted a proper burial.
You know, a service at a church
with a priest and a headstone.
Not just throwing ashes
around willy nilly.
Okay.
Please tell me
we didn't come all this way
without the f*cking ashes.
I'm f*cking with you.
-(SIGHS)
-TEDDY: Not to worry.
Got them right here,
safe and sound.
FREDDY: What the f*ck is that?
Why do you still have them
in the plastic bag?
I thought you said
you were gonna get an urn.
Well, I thought it'd be easier
than lugging an urn around
to all these
different locations,
so I separated the ashes
into these four separate bags.
Take a look.
Huh. Okay.
I got to admit,
I like the green velvet.
It's a nice touch,
even if I do think
the whole thing's
a little weird and egotistical.
Egotistical. How so?
Yeah. Uh,
we've built a whole trip
around his memory
that he mapped out.
You don't think that's a little
self important and grandiose?
Have some respect.
That is your father in that bag.
BARTENDER: Here you go.
TEDDY: Can I just say
how nice this is?
The four of us here
in the motherland.
To Guinness in our guts
and gimmies on the green.
And pints in our fists
and pars in our future.
Wow, look at you two.
Can I throw my hat in the ring?
To beers in our bellies
and birdies on our scorecards.
Oh. Nope, that doesn't work.
Really crashed
the landing there.
It's got to be an alliteration.
We've got bellies
and birdies, so we can do...
To beers in our bellies
and birdies on the back nine.
No, Dad, come on,
you're the writer.
You can do better than that.
It's going to be beers
and bellies.
Oh, for crying out loud,
can we just drink these
-already, please?
-MARIE: I got it.
To beers in our bellies
and birdies over bogeys.
Oh, I like that.
Birdies over bogeys.
Lady Baltimore strikes again.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
So everybody knows
the itinerary tomorrow, right?
We're up early and then off
to Blaine Rowe,
first round
of the Finnegan's Cup.
And as is the tradition,
54 hole gross stroke play,
triple bogey max.
Low score wins it all.
-Let the games begin.
-TEDDY: Bring it on.
And then we'll stop by
the old man's childhood home
on the drive back
where you will get to meet
your Uncle Mike.
Charming, charming man.
And we're really
going to distribute
his ashes on the golf course?
On the 18th hole
overlooking the Irish sea.
So classic his dying wish
was to get us all back here
to Ireland, and to play golf,
no less.
He was a brilliant man.
I loved playing with him.
Yeah. And while I am
really happy to be here,
I am still a little pissed off
that it took him
literally dying for me
to finally get the invite.
Would have been nice
to actually play with him,
-you know?
-FREDDY: No, actually,
it wouldn't have
been nice at all. Trust me.
The rounds with him
were absolute t*rture,
because on top of him
being insanely competitive,
he never shut up
with the criticism.
And usually in the middle
of your back swing.
Oh, give me
a friggin' break already.
-It wasn't that bad.
-Said the favorite son.
He was a f*cking
golf instructor.
-What did you expect from him?
-What did I expect?
Maybe he could have shown up
for a few of my birthdays.
And what about
my high school graduation?
Do you remember why
he wasn't there?
There was a more important event
on Long Island that day.
It was the U.S. Open
at Shinnecock.
Dad, it's Shinny.
Okay. Can we lay off Dad
since we're here
to celebrate him, right?
Not kick him while he's down.
Can we do that?
I will try.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, I am happy
to see everyone
is representing the fighting
Finnegan's golf brand
this morning except for you.
What, you didn't want
to wear the hat I gave you?
Okay, to be clear, I don't want
to wear this hat either
but you insisted,
so enjoy it while it lasts.
This is my lucky hat.
As you know, it was given
to me by Sam Snead himself
when I was just a wee lad.
I am well aware,
but I don't understand
what's lucky about it
given that you've never won
a single round
of golf played in it.
It's brought me luck
in other parts of my life.
He was wearing it
when he met my mom.
And on the day you were born.
-And conceived, probably.
-Shut up.
Okay, well then,
what's your excuse
for not investing
in some new clubs?
I see you're still carrying
that driver
that looks
like it's from the '80s.
It's not about the club's,
little brother.
It's about the man
who's swinging them.
Yeah, but the man
swinging your clubs
has come in dead last
in every single tournament
-we've ever played.
-That's because I've never
had the time to put the work in
but now I have,
and I think you're gonna see
a very different golfer
out here this weekend.
For your sake,
I really hope so.
It's time for the m*ssacre
to begin.
As last year's runner up,
I will tee off first.
-You okay with that?
-TEDDY: I'm fine with that.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to the fighting Finnegan's Cup.
First on the tee,
we have 15 time runner up,
zero time winner,
Freddy Finnegan.
Well, that ends today,
young blood.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
That has got to hurt, Teddy.
To see a swing that smooth,
to see a ball with that flight.
To know on the first tee
of the first day
-that you are going to lose.
-Wow.
When I see that
kind of humility,
you know who it reminds me of.
-Don't you dare say it.
-I don't even need to, do I?
I'm sorry. So, this entire trip
is just nothing
but constant ball busting?
Yes, it is.
Welcome to your home
of nonstop sh*t talk 24/7.
Yeah, well,
how else would we show
our affection for one another?
I love this man.
Good luck, loser.
Wow. Okay, so this is what
I was missing all those years?
I guess I shouldn't
feel so slighted.
Next on the tee box,
we have Teddy Finnegan,
a one time big hitter.
But ever since
a devastating shoulder injury,
he's lost a good deal
of his power.
Ooh, and it's a high fly ball
down to short center field.
Ooh, that's gonna be
about 150 yards.
And sadly for Teddy Finnegan,
he's off to a less
than stellar start.
It's only the first hole, folks.
No cause for alarm,
and I'm still on the fairway.
-Barely.
-(CHUCKLES, LAUGHS)
And next on the tee,
we have someone
making history here
at the Finnegan's Cup,
our first ever woman
to ever participate.
She's made a bold choice
hitting from the blues.
You might know her
as Marie Finnegan,
but in these parts,
she's only known
-as Lady Baltimore.
-(GROANS)
TEDDY: (LAUGHS) Wow.
Mother effing Christmas, Marie,
that was a hell of a drive.
I told you my kid could play.
Okay, welcome to the tournament.
-Nicely done. Put it there.
-Thank you. Thank you.
FRANKIE: And last
but certainly not least,
we have Frankie Finnegan,
certainly the longest hitter
of the bunch.
And the crowd goes wild
when he pulls out...
the Murph.
He gave his driver a name?
Yeah, it's named
after your grandmother.
Her maiden name, Murphy.
But why is your driver
named after Grandma?
Don't you remember
what an extremely
large head she had?
That is so f*cking wrong.
Well, you're about to see
that is so f*cking right.
Whoo! Lord have Murphy.
Grandma, did you see that b*mb?
God, it's going
to be a great day. (KISSES)
All kidding aside,
it's pretty great, isn't it?
-Yeah. Yeah. I got to admit, it's awesome.
-(LAUGHS)
Me and you out here
with our kids on this course,
-doesn't get any sweeter than that.
-Nope.
Unless, of course,
that's your ball
-and you've been out driven by your daughter.
-(LAUGHS)
You still think all the jabs
and the little comments
are going to rattle me,
but they won't.
And they never will.
And that's why
they call me steady Teddy.
FREDDY: I got to admit,
I'm impressed.
That was a pretty decent
approach shot.
You know, Freddy,
it's all about how we recover
from our bad shots.
That is the key to this game.
And the key to life.
Staying cool under fire,
keeping an even keel,
chilling the f*ck out.
Something you would be smart
to remember.
You do not need to preach
that sh*t to me.
I already told you.
The angry outbursts
are a thing of the past.
Now when I'm out here,
I take time
to appreciate my surroundings
breathing in the fresh sea air,
walking the gorgeous fairways,
having my mind clear
of the clutter of the everyday.
If you're in the right mindset,
a round of golf
can be a lot like meditation.
Until you snap hook
a drive into the woods.
Even then, I think you'll see,
I keep my cool.
All part of the larger work
I'm doing on myself.
And because of that,
the golf gods reward you.
I mean, look at that line.
Stayed out of the trap. A gift.
Now, we're going to put this
on the dance floor.
Come on.
TEDDY: Oh, too bad, brother.
It rolled off the back.
-The gods giveth and they taketh.
-FREDDY: They do.
But in the past, a bad break
like that would upset me,
and now I just...
(BREATHES DEEPLY) ...breathe.
Good grief.
This would be a hell
of a birdie from here.
Hell of a birdie.
Come on. Where's that break?
Where's that break?
Ay, yi, yi.
How does that not stop?
Unbelievable.
Left a lot of meat
on the bone there, Daddio.
You got to be kidding me.
All right,
and I can still save par.
TEDDY: Oh, Freddy,
you hammered that one.
Why are you muscling it?
(SIGHS)
And you're still away.
FREDDY: Yeah, I am well aware.
Thank you.
(EXHALES) Nice and easy.
(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMS)
-TEDDY: Hey.
Hey, Zen master, remember,
just like meditation.
Just got to breathe.
Jake with you?
Jake with me.
Thank you very much.
(GRUNTS)
Okay, that's great.
I'm in for a God damn six.
And you parred.
Bogie. One less than you.
f*ck this f*cking game.
Ah, f*ck this f*cking game.
I never heard you
say that before, Dad.
That was fun.
All right, Marie, you're away.
See it. Strike it.
Sink it.
What do we think of this?
Marie Finnegan,
or should I say Lady Baltimore,
comes out of the gate
with a birdie
after dropping a 12 foot putt.
She's really putting
the pressure on this boys club,
and we are just
on the first hole.
As the big boy reads his putt,
he knows what's at stake.
And to miss a four footer
like this
could really set the tone
for the rest of the round.
Oh! (LAUGHS)
And that's gotta hurt, folks.
-(LAUGHS)
-That's it, cuz.
From now on,
I am showing you no mercy.
Bring it, big boy.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
That's how you do it.
FRANKIE: Oh-h*!
FREDDY: Any day now.
You're only down nine strokes,
so let's hustle it along, okay?
You're an absolute
f*cking pleasure
to play with, you know that?
(GROANS)
-Hm.
-I'm taking a Finnegan.
Does anybody have
a problem with that?
Sorry.
What exactly is a Finnegan?
It's a Mulligan
on the back nine.
We invented it
a couple of years ago
given your father's
periodic inability
to get off the box.
Has it been granted?
How can we say no,
given we were raised
to help the needy?
(LAUGHS)
Does anyone have a ball?
With pleasure.
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
That's more like it.
Take that, you prick.
FREDDY: Ah!
-TEDDY: Ugh!
-FREDDY: Ooh!
Come on, get legs. Get legs.
Oh, Freddy likes.
(ALL CHEER)
FRANKIE: Come on. Come on.
TEDDY: Oh!
(BOTH CHEER)
What? Oh, my God.
That was a hell
of a shot, Daddy.
How about that?
All that short game work
in the back yard is paying off.
Don't get too excited.
You're still in dead last.
Hey, but the real news here
as we head into 18
is Lady Baltimore
with her smooth and steady play.
One stroke behind
our leader, Frankie.
MARIE: Oh! I'm sorry.
Did you hear that, Frankie?
TEDDY: I like it, kid.
Your first tournament
and you can end your first day
on top of the leaderboard.
Hmm, I mean, only reason
you guys haven't seen it before
is because I wasn't invited,
so, yeah, Frankie,
watch your back.
Time to show no mercy.
Ooh, goodness Murphy,
would you look at that ball?
No, I don't think you can see it
because ball is too far
for the naked eye to see,
my friends.
God, I love this club.
Wow.
Is he always this obnoxious
after a nice shot?
Where do you think
he got it from?
And where do you think
I got it from?
The man we're here to honor,
Mr. Humility himself.
I guess
it's a Finnegan affliction.
Steady as she goes.
That's my girl.
Thank you.
What do you got there?
Uh, seven.
That should work, right?
Yeah, that'll get you there.
Right side of the trap.
Roll it up.
Put this thing on the green
and make your cousin sweat.
Yeah, yeah.
sh*t. It's headed straight
for the trap.
Tough break, Lady B.
But do you see my ball?
I think it's up there
40 yards ahead...
-MARIE: Okay.
-...on the fairway.
You know what
your grandfather would do to me
if I was playing
as well as you were?
That's when he would start
with his psychological warfare.
You know, little comments,
big insults,
anything to get inside my head
and totally screw up my round.
It's true.
He would t*rture your father.
But again,
Freddy was an easy mark
because he'd get upset,
he'd hit a really shitty shot,
and then he'd slam his clubs,
he'd curse, he'd scream,
-he'd cry like a little angry baby.
-(LAUGHS)
And then eventually
he would lose the match.
Oh, he would also
throw his putter.
I might have thrown
a putter or two,
but there was never
any crying going on.
You don't need
to cry today, Dad,
because Grandpa's not here.
Well, Frankie,
that's where you would be wrong,
because I have him right here.
Because it is on this
very course, where he learned
to play this beautiful game
with his grandfather
and his father,
that he requested the first
of his ashes to be scattered.
Wait, we're going to do it here
on the 18th
-before we finish our round?
-Afraid so, big guy.
Those were the old man's wishes.
I think we do it right up
where your ball is.
-Perfect spot.
-(FRANKIE SIGHING) Great.
All right, well,
I think this looks
like a pretty great spot, huh?
TEDDY: Yeah.
Yeah, this is perfect.
But you see what he's doing
to you, Frankie, right?
These are the same kind
of mind games
the old man played on him.
You are more like the professor
than you care to admit.
That is bullshit
and that was not my intention.
This is just the spot
where the old man wanted
his ashes distributed, right?
I mean, you could have waited
till after I hit my shot.
All of a sudden,
I'm the bad guy here?
I am just trying
to follow his instructions.
I mean, your timing
kind of sucks, Uncle Freddy,
but I'm not complaining.
Fine, fine. Go right ahead.
Hit your... hit your
approach shot. We'll wait.
No, no, no, no.
This is what we came
to do here, right?
It's more important
than my shot.
The floor is yours.
What do you want to do?
-How do you want to do this?
-I would like to say something
and you can spread them?
All right.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
At least have the decency
to take your hat off.
-How's that?
-TEDDY: Thanks.
All right.
Hey, Dad, we're here
now at your home course
where you learned
to play as a boy
and where your competitive
spirit was born.
And it's obvious why you love
this hole and this view,
and it seems
to be a fitting place
to have your ashes spread.
We're forever grateful
for all the things
you taught us about the game
you loved so much.
And while some of us are
better students than others,
especially as it relates
to keeping a level head
on the golf course,
the lessons
are still appreciated.
(SIGHS)
We miss you and we love you.
-Amen.
-Amen.
Now?
Here it goes, guys.
All right, so where were we?
Yeah. So, Frankie, you're up.
That was it?
That was Grandpa you just threw
over the edge like that?
No, not all of him.
We still have, what,
three more bags to go.
Now we're just supposed to play
like nothing happened?
Okay.
Didn't think it'd be so short
and sweet.
Those were
the man's wishes, yes.
I don't know what I expected.
It wasn't that, though.
-(CLUB CLACKS)
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
-Oof.
-(SIGHS)
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-Some ceremony. (SIGHS)
(SCREAMS)
Grandpa, a little help here.
-That's more like it.
-Much better.
-Much better, much better.
-Okay.
So, Frankie's in with a double?
Yeah, and you sink
that 30 footer,
and you two are all tied up.
You got this, kid.
I'll get the flag.
MARIE: Thanks, Dad.
(SIGHS) Okay.
All right, kid. Take your time.
You got this. Nice and easy.
It's better than most. Ah.
Keep your chin up.
That was a hell of a round.
-There you go.
-(BALL RATTLING)
(SIGHS)
I'm warning you
right now, big boy.
No jokes,
no Lady Baltimore, no nothing.
Just a handshake.
You capable of that?
-Well done.
-Thanks, Dad.
-Really nice.
-Well done, young man.
-Thank you.
-Even better, young lady.
-Thanks, Dad.
-Tough one.
FREDDY: I would agree with that.
-TEDDY: Well done.
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-Oh, boy, this is gonna be fun.
-(SIGHS)
So, this is Grandpa's
childhood home?
Yeah, and now his brother
Mike lives here.
And are you sure
that he is expecting us?
Because I can remember
he can be quite a handful.
He is, but I can't say
he seemed very happy about it.
Hey, what do you mean,
a handful?
Well, first of all,
he hated your grandfather,
and he hates Americans,
and he hates golfers.
But other than that,
he is a sweetheart of a guy.
Oh, boy, and here he is now.
How are you doing?
MIKE: Hello.
You must be the golfers
from America.
Jack's lot. Yeah.
I can already see
I'm going to regret it.
Hey, Uncle Mike. How you doing?
I am Freddy.
We met many, many years ago,
when I was just a little guy.
I can't recall.
I guess you didn't make much
of an impression.
-Remind you of somebody?
-And who's the garcon?
Oh, that's my boy, Frankie.
Go say hello
to your great uncle Mike.
-(CHUCKLES)
-(CHUCKLES)
Well, let's see
what you're made of,
-eh, Francis boy. (GRUNTS)
-(GROANS)
(LAUGHS) Oh, that's a good grip
you have there.
I never did like
a flabby handshake.
(CHUCKLES)
And who are you two?
We also met many years ago.
I'm Teddy.
We spoke on the phone today,
and this is my daughter, Marie.
And I won't be shaking
your hand, just to be clear.
Oh, oh, I like that one.
(CHUCKLES)
True Finnegan right enough.
Well, let's go
look at the trees.
They're around the back.
-(GRUNTS, LAUGHS)
-(GROANS)
Told you,
he's a freaking sweetheart.
-(GROANS, PANTS)
-How are you doing there?
If I play like sh*t tomorrow,
it's 'cause of him.
MIKE: All right,
come on, this way.
Well, my grandfather planted
the first of these trees,
and the oldest one is down there
he planted for his first born.
Then he planted a tree
for every child
born after that, 12 in all. Eh?
And then one
for every grandchild,
and so on and so on and so on.
And I've managed
to continue that tradition.
And, Marie, this is your tree.
Really?
And you, handshake,
your tree, oh, died.
-Awesome.
-MARIE: Really?
You actually planted trees
for all of us?
Just because your grandfather
was an old idiot
and thought he was God's gift
doesn't mean the rest of you
shouldn't be accounted for, eh?
Even if you are golfers
and Yanks.
What about our parents' tree?
The one
that they were married under.
We'd love to spread some
of Jack's ashes there.
-You want to see that now?
-If we could.
For God's sake,
all right,
but I haven't all day,
all right?
Come this way. Come.
Well, here we are now.
There it is.
You're sure it's all right
if we spread some ashes here?
Dust to dust.
Do you want
to say a few words, Uncle Mike?
For him?
Pg mo thin.
Right, now, don't dilly dally,
and I'll see you back
at the house for a drink, right?
Hurry up.
Wow, huh?
He's about as charming
as Dad was, huh?
So, I'm assuming
you don't want to say anything?
I've actually got something
to say.
Oh, someone with a heart.
It's more of a poem
than a eulogy.
Maybe an apology
for that hole in one
would be more appropriate.
Good one, Marie.
(SIGHS) "Dear Lord,
we pray today
for a man named Jack."
"Big of heart
and full of the craic."
"May he rest in peace,
his soul to keep
in your loving arms
for his long sleep."
"Fairways and greens are part
of the goal."
"But please, just put the ball
in the g*dd*mn hole."
"We'll miss you, Grandpa."
"So, this is goodbye."
"Tee it high and let it fly."
-Amen.
-FRANKIE: Amen.
Amen.
Well, I don't know if applause
is appropriate at a eulogy.
But, my boy, that was well done.
-(GROANS)
-Oh, sorry, my guy.
All right, well,
you want to do what you do?
Shall I?
Dust to dust.
So, this was Jack's dying wish,
to have his ashes brought here?
And a few other places
that were important to him.
Hmm. A few bloody golf courses,
I expect. (LAUGHS)
Hey, Uncle Mike,
how come you never played
in the family tournament?
Now, that's a
very good question.
Very good question.
Let me think about this.
Oh, yes, because golf is played
by idiots
in funny looking outfits
who have nothing better
to do with their time
than to chase
a little white ball up
and over all day long.
(SIGHS) And because I'm a lefty.
And they didn't have
lefty golf clubs
when I was a boy,
so they made me caddie
for them.
(LAUGHS)
Carry their bag for them.
Ah. But none of the fun.
So, where are you planning
on spreading them?
At the beach at Wicklow Head
later this week.
He had that on his list?
Why? Is that significant?
That was our mother's
favorite spot.
After mass every Sunday,
she dragged a whole lot of us
down there
for an afternoon by the sea
hoping for the murmuration.
The murmuration,
which never came.
-But what's the murmuration?
-It's for the birds.
(CHUCKLES) That's what it is.
I guess it's also where
he proposed to our mother.
Another reason you'll not see
me shedding any tears today.
Why? Why do you say that?
Didn't you like Grandma?
Oh, I did. In fact, I loved her.
I'm sure he never told you,
but she was my girl first.
But I was hard of heart,
just like my father was
and his father before him.
-So, it cost me.
-Maybe that's where you get it from, Dad.
Stifle yourself, will you?
MIKE: Then your father swept in
and stole her
from under my nose. The b*stard.
And then made quick work
to get her away to America
so as not to contend with me.
Now, drink up.
There's a Molly's Mayhem
for the lady
and a Finnegan's Fury
for the boys.
Now... slinte
ALL: Slinte.
(RESTCHES)
Hot. (EXHALES)
-Delicious.
-Aye. It's my own concoction.
By the way,
it's a good job you got here
when you did
because those trees
are not long for this world.
Wait, what do you mean?
What's going to happen to them?
Oh, I got an offer
on the table from a developer.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
He wants to turn the whole farm
into a shopping center.
Yeah, another bit of Americana
washed up onto our shores.
This time next year,
I'll be in sunny Spain. (LAUGHS)
Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no.
You can't you can't do that.
-It's our family farm.
-What?
It's our family farm.
We should...
we should talk about it.
You can't do that. (CHUCKLES)
What do you mean,
"I can't do that?"
I can do what I like. (INHALES)
This is my farm,
and I can do
what I bloody well like.
(CHUCKLES) f*ck off out of here,
the whole lot of you.
And take your f*cking golf clubs
with you.
Go on. Get out of here.
Okay, who else needs a drink
after that?
Absolutely.
I need some painkillers
for my hand.
Oh, you hear that?
He's starting already
with the excuses.
Oh, please.
Will, to the nearest pub.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERS)
-FREDDY: Fantastic.
-MARIE: Oh, wow.
Frankie, why don't you get up
there and sit in with the band?
Absolutely not. No, no, no, no.
Oh, come on.
That's like the tradition
around here, right?
-I'm good.
-Don't be a wimp.
Go up there
and show them what you got.
No, I'm okay right here,
drinking my pint
and reveling my spot
atop the leaderboard.
Son, you played
very well out there today.
Stick to golf.
What is going on with your musical
career, anyway? Is that done?
FRANKIE: No, it's not done.
It's just, you know, my ex and I
were the primary songwriters,
so when we broke up,
the band did, too.
Well, why not go solo?
I mean, I hate to give you
a compliment,
but you do have a nice voice.
You know, at least you did
when we were kids
and we were forced to duet
on all those Christmas carols
in front
of our entire extended family.
Thank you
for the compliment, though
not sure if you're serious
or playing mind games,
but I'll take it.
No, I'm not
even really a front man anyway.
I totally get
your point, Frankie.
You're a little past your prime
to be a rock star.
You see how I did that?
I just countered the compliment
with another jab.
-It's like an art form.
-Finnegan gift.
You know, the thing is,
I didn't even want
to be a rock star, you know?
I just wanted to make music
with the woman that I loved.
But she didn't want
to do that, so you know.
(SOBS)
Okay, um,
can we talk about something,
anything else, please?
Yeah, I agree.
Let's change the subject, okay?
No need to bring up the music
anymore, all right?
Because there are certain rules,
I think, when you're in Ireland,
about crying in public.
That might fly in America,
but let's remember,
we're on foreign soil.
So, we're going
to keep that in check.
-Do not listen to your father.
-(SIGHS)
There are no rules
about crying anywhere.
It's okay to show
a little bit of heart.
Unlike your father here
who has a little bit of trouble
accessing his emotions.
I can be emotional
when the moment calls for it,
but those moments
are usually in private, right?
I mean...
You're dead inside.
FREDDY: Perfect timing.
Frankie, second pint
should cheer you right up.
But before we drink,
how about a little wager?
-You're on.
-Split the G.
Winner gets the bed,
loser gets the cot.
I'd say that's only fair.
What is split the G?
One sip from your pint,
here you got to leave the line
right here in the middle
of the G.
-Ready, Freddy?
-Ready, Teddy.
Go ahead. Come on.
Come on, Dad. Come on, Dad.
-(DRUMMING ON TABLE)
-Come on.
Come on. Come on.
(GASPS)
Oh, would you look
at that perfection?
How does that feel,
little brother?
I'm sorry. Does that hurt?
It hurts a little bit,
doesn't it?
I admit it does.
You two must have
been a nightmare growing up.
Was everything a competition?
-Pretty much.
-Yeah.
Usually with Teddy
at the losing end.
But periodically,
he would get lucky.
Which may be the reason
why each of us only had one kid.
We wanted to spare you
both a life of sibling rivalry.
Oh, thank you so much
for that consideration.
Yeah, it really worked.
-I have a question.
-FREDDY: Oh, my God.
Please turn the light off
and go back to sleep.
Why do you insist
I was his favorite son?
I am not having this
conversation with you now.
Just give me one reason
why you think that.
(SIGHS) Oh, my God.
Okay, I will give you a hint.
What time is it?
It's not that late.
It's only midnight.
-I don't get it.
-Think about it.
How do you know what time it is?
I looked at my watch.
I'm confused.
(CHUCKLES) Are you kidding me?
You're still pissed off
about the f*cking watch?
No, I am not pissed off
about it,
but you wanted to know why I
thought you were dad's favorite,
and the watch
is just another example.
He only had one watch,
and when Grandpa gave it to him,
he said it had to go
to the first Finnegan
who graduated college.
I graduated first
because I'm the oldest one.
What else is he supposed to do?
You see, that's another thing
you always did.
You're an apologist
for the old man,
whereas I had the ba*ls
to call him on his bullshit.
Do you want the watch?
Because I'll give you the watch
if it means that much to you.
-I do not want to watch.
-Would you like the bed?
-Would that make you happy?
-No, no, no, no.
You know what would
make me really happy?
If you would finally shut the
hell up, turn off the light,
let me sleep so that tomorrow
I can give you
a proper a*s whoopin'
on the golf course.
That would make me really happy.
Good night.
FRANKIE: If you all don't mind,
since I'm topping
the leaderboard,
I'll take us out.
(SOFT MUSIC)
(SIGHS)
(EXHALES)
In Murph we trust.
All right, Lady Baltimore,
the box is yours.
Go get them, kid.
FREDDY: Thanks.
As we begin the second round
of the Finnegan's Cup,
you've got to wonder
was yesterday a fluke
and will the luck
of the Irish run out?
Okay.
Do me a favor, shut the hell up
when I'm above my ball.
You can do that sh*t
with those two.
But I'm telling you,
another word out of your mouth,
and I will take the Murph
and wrap it around your neck.
She's fitting right in.
So, is this going to continue,
the ball matching the outfit?
I woke up pissed
off enough already
after having to sleep
in that cot,
so don't test me then.
Please, I beg you
for both of us.
Because when I'm pissed off,
people pay.
Namely you.
Oh, that mastery approach
is gone already, huh?
That was fast.
Now, we're just back
to being a complete psycho.
Duty calls.
Excellent.
Let the fun begin.
(CHEERING)
-Come on, come on, come on.
-How does that not go in?
(SIGHS)
TEDDY:
What do you have from here?
I got 110 to the flag.
Okay, Pete?
-5 bucks?
-5 bucks?
-f*ck that. 50.
-Too rich for me.
FREDDY: Yeah, I forgot,
you haven't published anything
in what is it,
about five years?
All right, 5 it is.
Shut up and hit.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I think you got trouble,
my brother.
I think you got trouble.
110, right?
Come on. Turn, turn.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
Thank you for my 5 dollars.
(TENSE MUSIC)
Yes!
Yes.
Oh.
You got to be
f*cking kidding me.
(CHUCKLES) Oh!
-(SIGHS)
-Damn.
Kid could b*mb it.
All right, so what about you?
You care to make another
little wager on this hole,
give me an opportunity
to restore my pride?
All right.
How about this then?
I will bet you right now
that with this vintage
Ping 2 beauty right here,
I will outdrive you.
And I will take that bet
any day of the week.
But what do you say
we up the ante
to more than 5 bucks maybe?
Fine.
If you're longer than me,
you get the bed tonight.
If I outdrive you,
you have to play
the remaining holes
with my clubs.
Okay. All right, you're on.
(GRUNTS)
All right, not my best,
but I'm sure
it's better
than anything you got.
Dad, are you sure
you want to use that club?
Yeah, come on, Uncle Teddy.
Why don't you use
my driver or something?
As in golf, so in life,
it's not the club,
it's the man.
I would listen
to your daughter.
(CHUCKLES)
You want to take my clubs now
or do you want to wait
till we get up there?
(CHUCKLES) Look at this.
I think this is me right there.
FREDDY: I don't know.
Not so fast.
That could be Frankie's ball,
or it could be Marie's.
FRANKIE: Yeah. Nice try, Dad.
About 75 yards up, though.
Yeah, and I'm in the sand trap.
I don't know. I don't know.
That might be a little
too close to call,
so I'm going to say that
looks like a draw to me.
Then we'll push it
to the next hole,
unless you're having
second thoughts.
Yeah, sure. Why not?
Next hole it is.
Because you're my little brother
and I love you,
I am giving you an opportunity
to bail on the bet right now.
Don't need it
because there is no chance
in freaking hell
you're going to outdrive me,
especially with that club.
I will take my Persimmon over
anything you have in your bag.
And you will lose.
-Oh, sh*t. (CHUCKLES)
-Ah, f*ck.
Since when do you hit
the ball like that?
FRANKIE: Ooh, looks like
we're going to have
another close call on our hands,
ladies and gents.
We'll see which brother
is better than the other.
(CHUCKLES)
Are you kidding me?
-Look at this.
-What are the odds of that?
Ooh, another one that
is too close to call.
What do you think, Uncle Teddy?
I guess we push again unless
you want to call it a draw?
We are not calling
a g*dd*mn draw.
I will see you
on the next tee box.
But until then, another little
closest to the pin wager?
Easy. One bet at a time.
Coward.
That is money in the bunker.
-Mother effer.
-(CHUCKLES)
There will be no doubt
after this drive, my friend.
Mother... (SCREAMS)
What the hell was that?
(SIGHS)
I'm not going to gloat.
In fact, to make things
a little bit more competitive,
I'd be willing to use my
pitching wedge instead.
Just hit your freaking driver,
you hump.
(GROANS)
Ladies and gentlemen,
with so much to play for,
namely pride
and literally nothing else,
the tension on this
tee box is palpable.
The fighting Finnegans'
sibling rivalry
has turned very, very ugly.
Enough with the
100 practice swings.
Would you hit
the freaking ball already?
You see this, kids?
This was our whole childhood.
The lack of sportsmanship,
all the foul language.
It's enough to make you
wanna kick his f*cking a*s.
It could be worse, Freddy.
We're on 17.
You only have two holes
to use my clubs.
I don't f*cking believe it.
Oh, my God.
This is the 7 iron
that you carry?
Our father gave me
that 7 iron in 1980
when I was 12 years old.
You are a sap, you know that?
And you didn't wanna regrip it,
huh?
I'm sentimental to a fault.
(GROANS)
I don't f*cking believe this.
Are you kidding me?
How do you play
with those freaking things?
I know you're behind this, Dad.
(EXHALES) Really?
I mean,
how do you putt with this?
And don't tell me about
Bobby f*cking Jones.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on.
FRANKIE:
You know you're downhill, right?
Slow down, slow down.
Hit a house, will you?
-FRANKIE: There it goes.
-It's a long way to go.
Step right in my line.
Thanks, Dad.
(SIGHS)
-He's your brother.
-He's your father.
-No.
-(CHUCKLES)
Four putt. f*cking four putt.
I'll see you in
the next tee box.
Guys, I apologize.
My brother's a f*cking lunatic.
How are you doing, Zen master?
What's the rage level?
I am not talking to you.
That's good,
because I couldn't hear
you over your pants anyway.
Hey, so going into 18,
I'm two behind Frankie,
Uncle Freddy is 4 behind, and,
Dad, you're obviously last,
at 6 back.
Not insurmountable.
Not when you are driving
like that.
Hey, Freddy,
I really like your clubs.
Hey, Frankie,
just a friendly reminder that
I'm only two strokes behind you,
so no pressure,
but this really
matters for you.
I thrive off pressure.
Jesus, Mary, and Murphy.
Look at that ball sail.
Get a room, will you?
Are you kidding me?
What the hell was that?
-I think it's called a duck hook.
-Or a snap hook.
-Or a smother.
-A smother for my brother.
Might we have
a little bit of silence
when someone is on the tee box,
especially when they are forced
to play with this?
I do not believe this.
What do you wanna do, Freddy?
Do you wanna drop up there?
You wanna hit again?
No, I'm not gonna drop, okay?
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Is this club bent?
I don't think so. Is it?
No. Look at that. I can see
the slightest little bend there.
You don't see that?
Oh, that might explain
your slice or your hook
or whatever it is
that you're doing that's so,
so terrible.
Yeah, well, I really shouldn't
have to hit with this,
considering.
Well, I'm not gonna force you,
Freddy, but a bet is a bet
and the rules are the rules.
And I thought
you weren't talking to me.
Okay, that's it.
The bet is over. You won.
Congratulations.
I'm real happy for you.
This isn't bent.
How about that?
On the 18th hole the old man
finally outdrives the kids.
(CHUCKLES)
We got ourselves
an opportunity here.
TEDDY: Oh, yeah, I like it.
-Do you see it?
-(MARIE CHEERS)
Good shot, Dad,
but I think
it rolled off the back.
TEDDY: Yeah.
I think you're right, Marie.
I think I'm long.
I hit it, but I didn't think
I hit it that hard.
FRANKIE: There's a
brutal bunker back there.
I hope you're not in that.
Anybody mind
if I just putt this out
and end this horror show
that I'm living?
Go right ahead.
Oh my God, talk about adding
insult to injury.
I do not believe this.
Teddy, I found your ball.
It was in the hole.
Are you sh1tting me?
I sh*t you not, you prick.
-Oh my God.
-Oh my God.
That was your second shot?
Yes, and I believe that
is what you call an eagle.
(CHUCKLES)
-FRANKIE: Ooh.
-MARIE: Come on, bite.
Bite. (GROANS)
How does that not stick?
That's gonna be a problem.
Here. Watch and learn.
Meanwhile,
that is a thing of beauty.
Safe to assume you won't
be giving me a gimme.
Yeah, you have
assumed correctly.
Lady Baltimore has been
fierce off
these Irish greens
this past week,
but no chip has had as much
at stake as this one.
She seems to have picked
a landing spot
25 feet above the hole.
Let's see how this plays
out for her.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
MARIE: Come on, hit that slope.
Get legs.
TEDDY: Come on. Come on.
FREDDY: Going. Going.
-Here it comes. Here it comes.
-TEDDY: Oh my goodness.
FRANKIE: No.
-Yeah.
-(TEDDY CHEERING)
In your life have you seen
anything like it?
-Oh, my God.
-(CHUCKLES)
I quit.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
I can see why Grandpa picked
this spot to propose.
TEDDY: Every time
we would come to Ireland,
we'd come down here for a swim,
remember?
FREDDY: Yep. Yep.
So, whose turn is it
to say a few words?
-Freddy?
-No, I think I'm good. Thanks.
I can, if that's okay.
All right, but you have to take
it seriously, okay?
-None of your little jokes.
-Me?
And jokes about what?
-Hi there.
-What are yous up to like?
We're just down here
sightseeing.
Like hell yous are.
You're the Yanks
that are coming down here
to sprinkle some ashes
on my beach.
-Your beach?
-Yeah, that's right.
My beach.
This is private land,
didn't you know?
How did you know
what we came down here to do?
Mike Finnegan rang me,
told me what yous were up to.
And why the hell
would he do that?
Because he figured
I could make a bit of money,
so how much is it worth to you?
-You're going to make us pay you?
-Yeah.
That or you can f*ck off.
Shall we say 500 euros?
500 euros?
Or you can find
another beach.
Give us a minute.
Well, what do we think?
I think we have to pay him.
It's what Grandpa wanted.
I agree.
Don't look at me.
I was against this
whole ashes thing from day one.
I'll pay him. 500 euros.
All right, Mr. uh,
what was your name anyhow?
Finnegan. Thomas Finnegan.
(CHUCKLES)
Had you, didn't I?
Put your wallet away.
I was just taking the piss.
My grandfather told me
you'd be here today,
so I just wanted to meet
my American family.
Are you kidding me?
Well, get over here
and meet the rest of them.
How you doing?
-Hi, I'm Marie.
-Tommy.
-Frankie.
-Tommy.
-Freddy.
-TOMMY: Tommy.
All right, so what happens next?
Well, we'll say a prayer
and then we'll distribute
the ashes.
Uh, well, do you mind if I stay
and pray with you?
Sure.
Marie?
Hey, Grandpa, we're back here
in Ireland
on the beach
where you proposed to Grandma.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
A few days ago, we were standing
amongst your apple trees
where you
and Grandma got married.
And it got me thinking,
my whole life
I always heard that
golf was more important to you
than anything else.
But here we are again
to distribute your ashes
in a place
that has nothing to do with golf
and is connected to Grandma.
So ,I guess,
you were one of the lucky ones.
You had two great loves in life.
We love you and we miss you.
-Amen.
-TEDDY: Amen.
(SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES)
-Wait, what is...
-(Frankie) What the hell is that?
TOMMY: That's the murmuration.
Wow. It really is beautiful.
They say they're a sign
from the other side.
So, you're saying
that's our grandfather?
Yeah, if you're into that
sort of stuff,
it could be.
Look at our Oscar Wilde
over here scribbling away.
What are you so busy with, Dad?
Not quite sure,
but it's gonna be something.
What, did you find a little
inspiration down on the beach?
Something about those birds
do it for you?
It could have been the birds.
It could have been the words.
I think that eulogy
was spot on, Marie.
-That was really well said.
-Yeah, I do agree.
I think you really nailed it,
because the old man,
he did he had two great loves.
Not three, definitely not four.
TEDDY: Come on, Freddy.
You really think that
he didn't love us?
-Because I know he did.
-You do?
Yeah. Okay, so big deal.
He loved his job, and he loved
mom a little bit more than us.
I'm okay with that.
You're not at all resentful
that he was never around?
If he was a heart surgeon
or an airline pilot
or was in the service,
he would have been gone
just as much.
But instead, he was a golf pro.
And because of that, he gave
us one of the greatest things
in our lives,
our love of the game.
All right.
All right, I'll give you that.
But let's say
we didn't have golf.
But we do, don't we?
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
FREDDY: Are you kidding me?
That's freaking nuts.
That's a nutty idea.
Why not? You have the money.
And what would I do with
an old farmhouse in Ireland?
Well, first off,
we'd keep it in the family.
And second, I don't know.
Maybe one of us moves there,
returns to the old sod.
It would be nice to get back
here more often.
And the golf
is freaking amazing.
Yeah, and it could be
like an artist retreat.
Dad, you could write there
and Frankie could work
on his music.
I don't want Frankie working
on his music.
I want Frankie working
with me, please.
And on that note,
let's go, Lady B.
Okay.
Hey, you guys, do you mind
if we join you for a song?
FRANKIE: Maybe we could do
"The Parting Glass."
It's our Grandfather's
favorite.
("THE PARTING GLASS" PLAYING)
Of all the money
That e'er I spent
I have spent it
In good company
And all the harm
I've ever done
Alas, it was to none but me
And all I've done
For want and wit
To memory now
I can't recall
So fill to me
The parting glass
And good night and joy
Be with you all
If I had money enough
To spend and leisure time
To sit a while
There is a fair maid
In the town
That surely has my heart
Beguiled
-Her rosy cheeks
-Her rosy cheeks
-And ruby lips
-And ruby lips
-I own she has my heart
-I own she has my heart
-Enthralled
-Enthralled
-So fill to me
-So fill to me
-The parting glass
-The parting glass
-Goodnight and joy
-Goodnight and joy
-Be with you all
-Be with you all
TEDDY:
Of all the comrades
That e'er I've had
They're sorry
For my going away
And all the sweethearts
That e'er I've had
They wish me one more day
To stay
But since it fell
Into my lot
That I should rise
And you should not
I'll gently rise
And I'll softly call
Good night and joy
Be with you all
-Good night and joy
-Good night and joy
-Be with you all
-Be with you all
(APPLAUSE)
Ah, man, that was rough.
You survived.
FREDDY: You know, being here,
I was thinking about Dad
and what really pissed me off
about him
is the fact that
I never beat him, right?
Because when I finally did kick
his a*s on the golf course,
that's when
I was gonna tell him
how I really felt about him,
you know?
Trust me, Freddy,
he knew how you felt.
No, I don't think
he really did.
I was gonna do this tomorrow
when we do the final ashes,
but let me read this to you now.
It's a note
that Dad wrote to us.
Declan gave it to me
the night we read his will.
Declan gave it to you?
Well, of course he did.
You're the favorite.
Do you want me to read it
or not?
(SIGHS)
"My dear sons,
I wouldn't be the first man
to say he wished he
spent more time with his family
than he did at the office."
"But in my defense, at least
my office was the golf course."
"That said, I'm sorry."
"But may the game bring you
the many hours of joy
that it has brought me,
and if at any time you play,
you think of your Da,
then maybe we'll make up
for some of that lost time."
What do you think about that?
(SIGHS)
I think closest to that far pin
gets the big cozy bed tonight.
What do you say?
Fine. Why not?
All right.
Oh, I like it,
and I think I will be sleeping
pretty tonight.
You know, it's your
negative f*cking attitude.
That's why the golf gods
are smiling on me.
But you know what?
I'm going to give
you the bed tonight.
Look at this guy taking
the full Irish to heart, huh?
You're not really gonna eat
all of that, are you?
Try me.
Yeah, well, be forewarned.
Your father might be
a little cranky this morning.
-Just letting you know.
-Oh.
What's going on with you, Dad?
How are we feeling today?
I gave Freddy the bed last night
because I'm a giver.
Giver to a fault,
and I took the cot
and now my back is f*cked.
FREDDY: And I thank you
for your selfless act
because, I finally got
a good night's sleep
on that big, old,
comfortable bed.
I woke up feeling enlightened.
FRANKIE: Enlightened? You?
About what?
About what your
grandfather's purpose was
in having us all come to Ireland
and get together like this,
all right?
It's about
what the tournament is about
and what the tournament's
have always been about.
It's not about who wins.
It's about having fun.
And more importantly,
it's about us
being together as a family.
Is he f*cking with us?
Of course I'm f*cking with you.
Yes. All right.
What did the great
Ben Hogan say?
He said,
there are games with friends,
but there are no friendly games.
And that applies to family,
too, God damn it.
Okay, you guys,
I don't care
what happens out there today,
but he is not winning
this f*cking tournament.
-Are you two with me?
-Absolutely.
-Slinte.
-Slinte.
Slinte.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
TEDDY:
Okay, kids, take a look around.
This was your grandfather's
favorite course
in all of Ireland.
He called it God's gift to golf
because no machinery was used
in its building.
Every hill, every dune,
every mound was created
by the man above,
the game's greatest architect.
So, where else would you want
to have
your last ashes
to be distributed?
And as the old man
used to say himself,
let's lash them straight,
laddies and lass.
Okay, g*ng, gather round.
Next order of business.
As the custodian of the ritual,
may I present
the last bag of Dad's ashes.
Freddy, you're the only one
who hasn't said anything.
Come on, Dad.
(SIGHS)
All right.
As much as I think it's very odd
that the man did not want
to be buried,
we are here to respect
his wishes so I will do my part.
(SIGHS)
-All right, Dad
-Freddy.
Hat.
And those ridiculous glasses.
Not necessary, but okay.
Dad, um, look, I guess,
these last few days
have forced me
to look at you
in a different light.
I guess, I've always focused on
who you weren't
instead of who you were,
which was a loving
and dedicated husband
to our saintly mother,
in addition to being a man
with a fanatical devotion
to this beautiful game.
All right, I guess that's
what people call passion,
and I guess it's a good thing.
And you passed that passion
on to countless others,
including me, and for that, I...
I do thank you.
I would also like to admit
that I know I can be
pretty tough on you
because I thought you should
have been around a little more.
And now,
I wish I could go back in time
and be a little more grateful
for those times
when you actually did show
your face.
So, for that I'm sorry.
Amen.
-Happy now?
-Look at that.
The Tin Man
actually has a heart.
Can we just get on
with the ashes, please?
Frankie.
(SIGHS)
Oh, my Jesus.
Teddy, are you kidding me?
You got the old man
in my frigging eyes.
-TEDDY: Are you okay?
-No, I'm not okay.
-I can barely friggin' see.
-Hold on. Hold on.
-Let me see. Let me see.
-Whoa, whoa. What?
-Careful.
-What are you doing?
All of a sudden,
you turned into our mother?
Can we just please play
some golf, all right? Thank you.
We're done with the ashes
and the ritual.
-Thank you.
-Okay.
You know what,
I think I still got a bit
of something in my eye.
Will you let me take a look?
Do you see something there?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can see it.
-You want me to get it out?
-FREDDY: Yeah, please.
Given you're the one
who insisted
that I take my glasses off,
right?
-Hold on, hold on.
-Oh.
-How sweet.
-They're so close.
-You got it?
-Wait.
You realize what this is?
This is the old man getting into
your head for the final round.
Only this time,
he's literally in your head.
You think that's funny, huh?
Please get the frigging thing
out already.
You got it?
TEDDY: Yeah, I got it.
Looks like a piece of bone,
maybe some cartilage.
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, God.
Ew, that's gross.
Dad, please help Freddy
to find his focus
and please don't let
this distraction ruin
his final round
when he actually has a chance
to finally win this thing.
FREDDY: Are you done?
Do you want to say anything
to the last of him?
No, I said my piece up there.
-You sure?
-I'm good.
Almost as far
as one of your drives.
(SIGHS)
(SOFT JOYOUS MUSIC
PLAYING)
-FRANKIE: Oh, land soft.
-FREDDY: Oh.
-Oh, that looks good. Oh!
-(FREDDY CHEERS)
Oh, I'm on fire.
(GROANS) No!
That's what you call
old man power.
(GROANS)
-FREDDY: Hell of a shot.
-MARIE: Wow.
Get it close, Dad.
Get it close?
Hell, I'm going to hole it.
FRANKIE: Looks good. Looks good.
Do you believe it?
Oh!
FRANKIE: Do you believe it?
What did I tell you?
What did I tell you?
-Here we go.
-Come on.
Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
-No.
-No.
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
I'm king of the world!
I tell you, what I wouldn't do
to have the old man
walking with us right now.
I got to tell you,
Teddy, I think he is here.
I can feel him.
And in your estimation,
is that a good thing
or a bad thing?
Well, normally that would be
a terrible thing, right?
And today?
That is yet to be determined.
-(CHUCKLES)
-FREDDY: I guess.
FRANKEI: All right,
what do you think, Uncle Teddy?
Two Jakes, right?
-Ask your father.
-Are you kidding me?
There's nothing Jake
about that putt.
That's a four and 1/2 footer.
Marie, I apologize,
but a five footer is no gimme.
All right.
Thanks for the support,
Uncle Freddy.
See it.
Strike it...
-(FREDDY GROANS)
-(MARIE) And suck it.
TEDDY:
Ball in hole. Grandpa's rules.
MARIE: I don't know what's going
on with my putter today.
FREDDY: Sorry, kid. No Jakes,
gimmes, or good goods
in the final round.
Oh, boy, that is gonna hurt you.
If your grandfather
were here,
he'd say it's all
between the ears, kids.
Okay, I shouldn't have
even had to putt that.
Yeah. What do you think?
This is some kind
of charity tournament? Please.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
That's got to hurt.
Well, look,
I got bad news for the kids.
The old guys are gaining on you,
and even this character
right here
is just a few strokes behind.
Smooth and steady.
That's the name of my game.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
So, what did I tell you kids?
Is this course
absolutely gorgeous or what?
I know.
I cannot believe
how beautiful it is.
It's like everywhere you look,
it's stunning.
Yeah, I can see why
Grandpa loved it so much.
Wait till we get
up to the next tee.
It was his favorite spot
in the whole course.
What the hell is this?
Can you believe this?
Did you know
the course did this for him?
That's his famous saying.
Freddy, do you know
who did this?
(SIGHS)
Look, I just figured since
he didn't want a headstone
and we've been throwing
his ashes all over Ireland,
the pain in the a*s needed
some kind of permanent marker.
That's all.
I'm gonna hug you right now.
FREDDY: Really?
Wow, okay.
-There's hope for you yet.
-Wonderful.
Come on, let's get a selfie.
Come on, let's do it.
Ready? Right here.
One, two, three, Professor.
ALL: Professor.
Okay, I'm going to go
hit my ball now. Thank you.
This big old softy.
Our current leader,
Freddy Finnegan,
needs to hit this
beastly putt to maintain
his one stroke lead.
A two putt ties us all up.
From that distance,
I'm betting on a three putt.
Not that we would wish
that on him.
I can hear all your chatter
and whispering,
just so you know,
but you know what,
I'm not going to let it
bother me today, all right?
Because this year
the cup is mine.
You hear me, old man.
This year, the cup is mine.
If your grandfather was here,
this is when
the mind games would start.
(FREDDY GRUNTS)
(EXHALES)
I think he's doing it
from the grave.
You got this.
-Oh!
-(CHEERS)
How does that ball not go in?
You got to be kidding me.
That is unbelievable.
Ooh, the crowd knows
what to expect.
They've seen his
violent outbursts all week.
They await with bated breath.
But what's this?
Has the hothead finally gained
some composure?
I told you, Teddy, didn't I?
I told you, the old man
is here with us, right now.
You're gonna blame that on him?
How else does
that ball not drop?
-User error.
-Thanks a lot, Pop.
Well played.
The thanks I get for
giving you the bench, huh?
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
-(TEDDY CHEERS, CHUCKLES)
-(MARIE CHEERS)
Yes.
Hate to rub it in, my son,
but was that another triple?
Yes, it was.
I don't know
what's going on with me.
I've never played
like this before.
-Yeah, I'm already ten over.
-What about you?
Three pars in a row.
What the hell has gotten
into you today?
Yeah.
(CHEERS)
Okay, kids,
here we are on the back nine.
This is where the rubber meets
the road,
where we separate
the doers from the duffers,
the makers from the fakers,
and the champs from the chumps,
if you will.
Does anyone want to take
a guess on where we stand?
I got to be in last.
TEDDY: And you would be correct
in that guess.
And due to the inspired play
of the comeback kid,
I am still in this thing,
and we are all pretty much
neck and neck.
However, the rightful heir
to this year's cup
does sit atop the leaderboard
with a two stroke lead.
Jesus, Murphy.
I'm taking a Finnegan.
Sorry, son, there are no
Mulligans or Finnegan's
in the championship round.
Uncle Teddy?
You know I'd give it to you,
but these two are out for blood.
-Marie?
-MARIE: Oh, now, I'm Marie.
What happened to Lady Baltimore?
Marie, you could be
the overriding vote here.
The only reason
I'm going to say no
is because I don't think you
would feel good about winning
if you took a Finnegan now.
-No, I'd be fine with it.
-You sure?
-FRANKIE: Yeah.
-Sorry, you're lying three.
That's how you wanna play it,
Lady Baltimore? Fine.
I'm not holding back
on you either.
(GRUNTS) Jesus..
Ooh. Wow.
-MARIE: Very embarrassing.
-Okay. All right.
All right. In my pocket.
FREDDY: Let's go, Teddy.
Clean that up, will ya?
Frankie, let me get this
out of your way.
Back to back birdies.
For the old man knows slow
and steady wins the race.
I don't know if it's because
of the murmuration
or it's because I actually did
some writing last night finally,
but I'm telling you, folks,
I'm feeling something special
out here today.
Guys, if you oblige me,
I have an idea.
And we're at a par 3.
Frank, you still carrying
the old stick?
Yeah, I got it right here.
Wouldn't leave home without it.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Almost 60 years ago, on
the eve of the Professor leaving
Ireland for America,
your great grandfather,
Frederick Finnegan the first,
offered that infamous challenge.
So, I think
it's only appropriate
that we all tee off
with the famed mashie niblick.
Any objections?
-FREDDY: None for me. You?
-No.
But he loves to set
himself up for failure.
-See what you got, big brother.
-TEDDY: Let me start it off.
FRANKIE: Uncle Teddy,
that's how you do it.
I like this club.
All right, Dad.
All right, Lady Baltimore.
-TEDDY: Looks good.
-FREDDY: I like it. I like it.
Oh!
-Get there.
-TEDDY: Yes.
Okay, here we go. Two for two.
Pressure's on, young blood.
Pressure's on.
FREDDY: Oh, look at this kid.
Look at this kid
playing the backstop.
Are you kidding me?
Come on. Come on.
TEDDY: Oh, nice one, Frankie.
-Nice one.
-MARIE: Got to give that to you.
Ballsy play, young man.
Ballsy play.
Very impressive.
All right, Dad,
that's three on.
Come on, Freddy.
All right, old man, you're not
going to mess with this one.
Oh, that... that's as well
as I can hit a ball.
Yes.
FRANKIE:
That's how you hit them, Dad.
All four of us
ten feet from the pin.
I'd say the old man's
here with us right now.
FREDDY: Ah, maybe you're right.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay, wait. You know what?
I hate to interrupt,
but you're not gonna
believe this.
After these two just birdied
the last hole,
we're all tied up
going into 18.
TEDDY: How great would that be?
All of us tied up
after three rounds.
I think that is a fitting end
to our first tourney
without the old man.
No, that would be terrible,
because the cup needs
one clear winner, all right?
So, even if that means
we have to go to a tie breaker,
we're all in agreement, right?
-We cannot have a draw.
-Kids?
-Yeah, we're cool with it.
-Yeah, a draw's fine.
Then it's settled.
If we tie, we tie.
Who the f*ck are you people?
Your grandfather
would be so disappointed.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
What do you got
from there, Marie?
I got 205 to the pin.
You're into the wind.
You better lay up.
MARIE: The 18th hole.
I've got to give it everything,
Teddy,
she's never gonna make it.
-This wind is crazy.
-She's asking for trouble.
What I tell you?
I think that's OB.
You might be out
of this thing, Marie.
TEDDY: Freddy, give me a number.
FREDDY: All right.
I got 180,
but I think with the wind,
it's flying about 320.
-You got that club?
-TEDDY: Do I have the club?
Steady Teddy at the ready,
m*therf*cker.
FREDDY: Catching the wind.
(CHUCKLES)
-I have the club.
-Are you kidding me?
On the green in regulation.
Wow. On this hole.
I am impressed. All right.
I admit that was pretty
nice putting the pressure on
and I accept that challenge.
I think it's coming back.
Come on.
Oh.
Oh! (LAUGHS)
That was nasty.
That was some nasty
sh*t right there.
All right, Frankie,
play the wind, all right?
Nice little knock down shot.
Dad, I don't have a knockdown.
Dude, you got to keep it low.
And that's what happens when you
don't listen to your father.
(GROANS)
Yeah, Frankie,
that one's out.
You and I are out of this.
Well, that just leaves you
and me, little brother.
Never a doubt. Never a doubt.
Okay, Freddy,
you're obviously away.
Far, far away.
Yeah, but if I hit this, my man,
that is gonna spell
trouble for you.
TEDDY: That's a big if.
And the old man is not getting
in the way of this one.
Sink this, Dad.
-(FREDDY GROANS)
-Oh, shucks, you missed.
All right, I know better
than to ask for this.
Not a problem.
Good effort, Dad.
All right, flag in or out?
You can leave it in.
Yeah, look, Teddy,
before you putt,
would you mind having a word?
Okay, okay.
Guys, this is exactly
the kind of sh*t
our father would pull
all the time on Freddy
to try to get in his head
and mess with his mind.
-Don't let him do it, Dad.
-TEDDY: Don't worry.
I can handle him.
Come. Come have a word.
Just take a second.
Yes, Freddy?
What is it that you needed?
You're a good guy. A nice guy.
Much nicer than me
and you've always looked out
for me.
Going back to when
we were little kids.
Freddy, that's what
big brothers are supposed to do.
I know. I know,
but I don't wanna win like this.
What are you talking about?
I don't want you to miss
this putt on purpose
because I can tell that's what's
going on in your mind right now.
Don't do it.
Come on.
Hit this putt and win the cup.
You deserve it.
Are you f*cking with me?
No. No.
Come on, you got this.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
That is some Jedi
master mind f*ck right there,
but it's no problem.
(CHUCKLES)
How about that?
(LAUGHS)
Congratulations.
-Nice work, Dad.
-Marie.
-Thanks, hon.
-FREDDY: Well done.
Congrats. Tough match.
I guess I am
your favorite son.
All right, Teddy,
up on your feet.
You know the routine.
Guys, as is the family custom,
the winner
of the Finnegan's Cup
is awarded the Tartan jacket.
And I wish I could say
the old man would be proud,
but I'm sure he would
have just been pissed off
that he didn't win this year.
Can I just say what an honor
it was to play with all of you,
and an even bigger honor to
be wearing my father's jacket.
All right,
how about a toast, then?
Yeah.
To my big brother,
the new champion
of the Finnegan's Cup.
To beers in our bellies
and birdies over bogeys.
To pints in our fists
and pars in our future.
How about this?
Glory be to the old man.
What do you say, Freddy?
To Jack Finnegan,
who gave us more than
just our love of the game.
ALL: Slainte.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
All right, g*ng, hop on out.
All right.
I'll give you a hand, precious.
Here you go. Come on.
Watch your step. There you go.
Can I take this
blindfold off already?
All right, in a second.
In a second.
-All right, Marie.
-Okay.
So, you know where you are?
Of course, I know where I am.
What are we doing here?
We bought the family orchard.
What? Why would you do that?
Why would I do that?
Because all of you
told me I needed to.
And he put a recording
studio in the old stables.
And he converted the barn
into a writer's studio for you.
(CHUCKLES)
What about Uncle Mike?
Uncle Mike is living on
a beach somewhere in Mallorca,
-I believe.
-Wow.
I gotta admit, I am shocked.
Mom and Dad would be pleased.
Don't thank me yet,
because I did make
one little change that
you might not be crazy about.
Come, take a look.
What's this about?
Look, I just didn't know
what to do
with all of these apple trees,
so I got rid of some of them.
I know. I apologize,
but I thought I had to do
something for myself,
so please, take a look.
Allow me to present
Ireland's newest
nine holer named after
the Professor himself,
the Jack Finnegan Links.
FRANKIE: No way.
Lash them straight,
laddies and lass.
FRANKIE: No way.
FREDDY: What do you think?
TEDDY: Oh, my God.
MARIE: Wow. This is amazing.
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?
(LAUGHS)
-What?
-TEDDY: Stay right there.
I'm going to hug you.
MARIE: This is gorgeous.
I can't believe this.
Wow.
(LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
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Finnegan's Foursome (2026)
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