01x01 - Frenemy

[bunniefuu]

Ladies looking good. Looking

good. Call me.

Watch your step.

Pretty pathetic dude. Hello tackle bot is

insecure. He lashes out of robots he

finds threatening. He finds you

threatening that he shot your legs off?

No, because you're a Sissy boy. He is

intimidated by my cool. So how is life

in the fast lane?Hot and

spicy gentleman. And it's getting better

every day now that I joined Frenemy.

Dude, those social networking sites are

for losers. It's not for losers. Since I

joined Frenemy, I have something fun to

do every night.

And we have to do this. You just

give Frenemy complete access to your

personal information, account numbers,

medical records, passwords, photographs

and addresses. And like magic, everything

you own is stolen. But in the process,

you turn millions of strangers into close

personal friends. That sounds too good to

be true. You're k*lling it. You

do what you want, but I'm setting up a

profile.

Easy breezy. Too bad you'll never know.

You don't want to be cool. I don't

react to peer pressure. Ohh yeah, Mimi

has a profile.

Now all we have to do is wait

for the Stampede of new friends, our

first friend between us.

We're going to be drowning in friends.

Any second now.

Drowning.



equals an emergency.

Now all we have to do is wait for

the Stampede of new friends.

Ohh. How long? 2000 years. No,

no, no. And I've gotten fat.

Actually, we have a bigger problem.

There's two of us. You don't

have to do this. Here's the

only way to protect the spacetime

contagion. Spacetime contagion? It's

continuum. You're making this.

Type this, dear friend.

Disgusted. Disgusted by your site. We

signed up to make friends and do you know

what we got? Jack squat. Yeah, lots of

exclamation points. You are all stupid

heads. Nice. Sign our names and send it.

I wish I could see their faces when they

read that. It is going to drop like a

b*mb, buddy.

Just the kind of stuff that minimum wage

workers respond to. Dude, they actually

wrote back tear thrasher and blessed us.

Sorry you're having trouble making

friends on my site. Would you like to

be my friend? The site wants to be

our friend, Yes. Hi, I'm frenemy this is

a. Special occasion, I'll post about it.

Thrasher, Blastus and Frenemy are so

celebrating. Alright, you're gonna have

to give us a second buddy. We've

never befriended a website before. No,

but you're pretty chummy with

www.kittensintighttanktops.com. Thank you

because it is 7000 times.

That's not true. No judgments. Blessed us

is afraid of soap. Soap is made

from fat. It's creepy. How did you

know? You gave me complete access.

Remember, I know everything about you.

But it's cool. Your secrets are safe

with me. I'm frenemy. Let's.

Celebrate.

Awesome sauce.

Today, we're going to cut something open.

I need volunteers.

Pressure and blackness come up here.

Thrasher.

TDs.

Now pay attention.

Feel around for his lubricant pan.

Thrasher is hating school right now.

Pay attention to her making a mess.

Thrasher has just blinded. Blast us. He's

sending hugs. Blasters has taken pressure

off his favorites list. Brown face.

Thrasher.

Just tagged you in the photo. You should

tag him back. I'm trying to sleep. Really

you should post that to keep your

contacts updated. My only other contact

is Blastus. And me

ohh I didn't mean to hurt your

feelings it's cool. I just ohh don't

say it's for enemy it's too soon.

It's just ohh man I love you

guys TMI slash OMG you go back

to sleep.

I tried to add you to my friends list but

you didn't accept what you did. Yeah, now

I get it. You're too cool for everyone

else now that you're best buds with

Frenemy. Enemy must be

blocking our friend requests. That's it.

Front of me is too needy. I know

it kept poking me all night long. Hey,

Frenemy is a nightmare. It took over my

life until I found Squeaker. It's a new

social site for people with very short

attention spans. If it's anything like

Frenemy, we're not interested.

Squeaker. He's way more mature and laid

back. You don't have to deal with

enemies, baggage and horrible self esteem

issues. But you didn't hear this from me.

I wasn't here. I'm a ghost.

People have meaningful relationships a

sentence at a time. Ohh that's perfect.

And the more we talk the worse we come

off. We're joining. What are we going to

tell friend of me? We never said we were

exclusive. We could see other sites if we

want.

What's going on?

You betrayed me, but I forgive

you. It wasn't your fault. Squeaker

seduced you with her limited characters,

but she's gone now. We can

be together.

I mean, you went too far. Too

far. You're about to see too far.

Hey everyone, I know you all think

Thrasher and Blasters are so cool, yo.

I don't. Well, here's what they're really

like.

Stop.

Kiss me.



Ohk word. That's it. Time

to end this. For me.

Can't believe we have to come

all the way out here to

deactivate our accounts and backs off.

Face your doom. Who are you?

The gatekeeper of the frenemy Sava.

You shall not pass. Do not

try to stop us.

It's a fraction of the discomfort

you'll face scaling Frenemy mountain with

its razor sharp cliffs. Magma river

in one eye tightens. Or we

could take the shuttle bus. Ohh,

you saw that. God will curse

you Shuttle bus, curse your comfort.

Then.

I knew you'd come back and that's why I

got us snuggly bug nuggies. We don't want

gifts. We're here to stop you. Ohh, this

is comfortable. Like being inside a

pillow in front of me. You're obsessed

with us. I mean, you m*rder*d another

website.

Fine.

I'm going to post this.

Not separate us.

Activate Flame Eyes.

Play Mode.

Thrasher. Before

we go, I want you to know

that you're the only robot in the

world I really wanted to poke Blast.

As you're a genius, I'm posting a

request for everyone to poke Frenemy.

That's her out. Cut it out.



Can't believe how needy controlling an

insane frenemy turned out to be. Yeah, I

heard chicks are even worse. Still, I

totally want a girlfriend. Ohh. Of

course. I'm just saying. You think we

should try one of those dating sites?

Couldn't hurt.

Too many miles.

I can't believe how totally psycho that

dating site turned out to be. I know

right? Totally didn't see that coming.