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06x19 - Clowning Around!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Totally Spies!". Aired: 3 November 2001 – 3 October 2013.*
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The series focuses on the adventures of three teenage girls from Beverly Hills, California – Clover, Sam, and Alex – who live a double life as secret agents working for the World Organization of Human Protection (WOOHP).

06x19 - Clowning Around!

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music]

THEME SONG: Sam, Clover, Alex.

Whoo!

We arrive in the fashion world.

Yeah!

We are totally spies.

Genuine secret agents.

But we never give into fear.

Sam, Clover, Alex.

Whoo!

We'll win every day of the year.

S-P-I-E-S. We are totally spies.

[grunting] I'm so going tobe late for my job interview.

[tires screeching]

Hey.

Huh?

[gasping] [laughing]

You're really funny, lady.

[gasping]

[giggling]

[laughing]

A single dorm room just isn'tgonna cut it anymore, Trent.

I need space, and I need it now.

I mean, I wanna be celeb like meshould have more room than she

knows what to do with, notcrammed into some space

challenged shoe box.

Got it?

Got it, Mandy.

So what should I do about it?

Duh.

I want you to work on gettingme a bigger room, pronto.

[crashing]

[shouting] What gives?

Um, hey, Mandy.

We were just practicing forthe Mali-U skydiving team.

Later.

[muttering]

I hate those losers.

Big losers.

I am so going to get them back.

She's perfect.

Let's bring her to our
office immediately.

[laughing]

Whatever I'm accusedof doing, I didn't do it.

Unless it's something
that makes me famous.

Then I definitely did do it.

We aren't here to accuseyou of anything, Mandy.

We'd like to offer
you an opportunity,

an opportunity to spy on
Sam, Clover, and Alex.

Spy on Sam, Clover, and Alex?

Why would I want to do that?

Because if you help us outby keeping an eye on them,

we'd be willing to reward you.

[gasping] You
mean like by giving

me that totally rad penthousesweet the girls live in?

Huh?

Come through for
us, and it's yours.

[gasping]

[shouting]

Trust me.

I won't let them
out of my sight.

[giggling]

I can't believe we plowedinto Mandy like that.

Yeah.

What a way to end a mission.

Whatever.

I'm just stoked to try
out my new make up.



This is Mandy reporting.

The brunette is
swabbing her ear.

The red head's
tweezing her brows,

and blondie looks like she'sgetting ready for a much

needed face fix.

Say hello to Clowny,
girls, a totally chic,

just on the marketmakeup for men and women.

[gasping]

Oh, no.

Please tell me that's
not what I think it is.

Yo, what's with all the steam.

Hey.

Where'd those losers go?

[grunting]

I can't believe you WOOHPedus again so soon, Jer.

We've barely had time towash off the last mission.

Oh.

[clearing throat]

And PS, you could
have waited until you

were done grooming yourself.

I'm sorry, spies,
but I have a most

curious assignment for you.

It seems that a
diplomat from France

was to meet with a
diplomat from China.

And well, it's probably
best if I just show.

Awesome.

I love clowns.

[laughing]

I assure you, it wasanything but awesome, Alex.

In fact, the Chinesediplomat was quite insulted.

As a result, relations
between the countries

have become strained.

Well, I can see why.

That make up is a major
insult to good taste.

I'm afraid it gets worse.

A clown-faced firemandumped buckets of confetti

on a real fire in London,
which is why I'm sending

you to check it out right away.

[gasping]

And to help you
in your endeavors,

I give you the hair pick lockpick, the Porto Lab 9000.

A giant soap bubble balloon,high-powered faux earring

magnets, and a high
velocity atomizer.

Thanks, Jerry.

You're quite welcome.

Now if you'll excuse me, I needto get back to my comb over,

while you investigate whathappened to that diplomat.

[shouting]

[bell ringing]

Can I help you?

Um, yeah.

We're here to
deliver some flowers.

You know, to the diplomatlady with the unicycle

and the creepy clown face.

Hm.

[sneezing]

Now if you'll excuse us,we have schedule to keep.

Rats.

It's locked.

No worries.

The hair pick lock pick
should do the trick.

- Wow.
- Awesome.

Why to work the gear, Clover.

OK, spies.

Time to spread out andlook for anything unusual.

Huh.

This doesn't look
like the clown makeup

we saw her wearing inthe video, but I guess it

wouldn't hurt to check it out.

Huh?

No way.

This is Clownique, the
brand I just bought.

I think I'll borrow a little.

No, Clover, don't do it.

[shouting]

Whoa.

Now that's what I
call clowntastic.

Back

What are you
talking about, Alex?

[gasping]

Uh.

[gasping]

[screaming]

My face.

[laughing]

Don't worry, Clover.

We'll figure out what to do.

[gasping]

What are you doing in here?

Oh, no.

Hm.

[laughing] Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

That's the funniest
thing I've ever seen.

[laughing]

Rude, much.

Come on.

Let's get out of her.

[laughing]

[gasping]

Oh, no.

What are we gonna do?

I mean, I can't getcaptured looking this way.

Now, hang on.

Ha.

That'll teach him
to laugh at me.

When it comes to
interns, you really

put the fail in failure, Trent.

But since you had a cleveridea to make it up to me,

and you got me the keys
to the girls' penthouse,

I'm willing to let it slide.

You can leave now.

Wait for me downstairs.

Yes, Mandy.

Yes.

Soon all of this
luxurious square footage

will be mine, mine, mine.

It's those girls.

Time to get my spy on.

Uh.

Just when I thought thingscouldn't get any worse,

now I went and scared
the dorm janitor.

Come on, Clover.

I'll help you try and
wash the Clownique off.

Hm.

Good idea.

In the meantime, I'm
going to get gadgety .

[gasping]

According to the
Porto Lab 9000,

the makeup contains anincredibly rare luminescent

seaweed found only in Japan.

Weird.

Bu what are we supposed
to do with that info?

Um.

WOOHP has tracked
a huge shipment

of that exact type of seaweedto a location in Tokyo.

Well, then, I guess we knowwhere our next stop should be.

Are you kidding?

As long as I'm Clover,
the clown face girl,

I'm never leaving thishouse again, except maybe

to hit a giant shoe sale.

Oh, I can't believe
I just said that.

[laughing]

Sounds fun to me.

[laughing]

Huh?

[beeping]

Girls, so glad I
was able to catch you.

WOOHP has just received morereports of unexpected clown

faces popping up
around the world.

I'm afraid the situationhas gotten quite serious.

[giggles nervously]

Oh, my.

That's the funniest
thing I've ever seen.

[laughing]

Thanks, Jer.

Like I really needed a reminderthat I have a giant mouth

and a bright red nose.

[laughing]

Don't worry, Jerry.

We're on the case.

All we need is for you
to WOOHP us to Tokyo.

Oh, no problem.

I'll have you there in a jiffy.

Here we go again.

[whooshing]

[shouting]

Not without me, you don't.

[shouting]

Ew.

Why does most direct routealways has to be the grodiest.

Hey, girls, check it out.

[screaming]

[laughing]

[seal barking]

[laughing]

Whoa.

Jer wasn't kidding.

The whole world's
getting clownified.

It's the biggest
circus in the world.

At least am not the only one.

Come on.

The address should be rightaround here somewhere.

Huh?

Clover, what are you doing?

I don't know.

All of a sudden, I have thisinsatiable urge to juggle.

Spy now, juggle later.

Hey.

Hey, where am I?

What is going on?

[shouting]

[laughing]

This is it.

The place that's been gettingthe rare luminescence seaweed

shipments.

Yes.

Heh.

Cool.

[giggling]

A sushi restaurant?

No offense, but I think
your spy work might

be a little off there, Sammy.

Oh, that's OK.

My tummy's rumbling
for some grub anyway.

Sorry, Alex.

Your tummy will have to wait.

O-M-G. That looks
just like Clownique.

Only one way to find out.

Either this is the weirdestsushi joint I've ever seen,

or we've just stumbled
onto a secret lair.

I'm going with
option number two.

But it still doesn'texplain why someone would

be going to such
great lengths to get

people to wear clown makeup.

[gasping]

[squealing] How cute.

A tiny toy car.

[gasping]

What are you girls
doing in my restaurant?

Wow.

Talk about stretched out.

She must have a
serious yoga routine.

A better question
would be, what

is all this clown stuff doingin your so-called restaurant?

[horn blowing]

Silence.

No, I'm not going to besilent, considering you're

the one behind this nasty
clown makeup on my face

that won't come off.

What's your deal?

I mean besides wearing the mostawesome wig I've ever seen.

[slap]

My name is Bozette
Slapstick, and I

am the world's greatest clown.

If that's true, then howcome we've never heard of you?

Huh?

Because sadly, clowns aren'tas popular as they used to be,

with TV, and movies,
and video games,

people have found otherways to entertain themselves

and don't care much
about us anymore.

[crying]

Which is why I've devisedmy special make up

to force them to appreciate us.

But that's not true, Bozette.

All sorts of people love
clowns, especially kids.

It's just evil clowns
they have issues with.

And speaking of
evil, how would

you turn a perfectly nice sushijoint into a sinister layer?

I needed to put it somewhere.

And this place has the bestCalifornia rolls in town.

OK.

Enough clowning around.

This lame-o plan ends now.

[growling]

Hi-ya.

[grunting]

[grunting]

[giggling]

[laughing]

This is unreal.

Can you say viral internet hit?

[growling]

As if this make up didn'tmake me look goofy enough.

My poor face can
only take so much.

I don't know, Clover.

They say that facial massageis good for your skin.

So you think you can takedown a trained and experienced

clown that easily, huh?

Don't worry, Bozette?

We'll make sure younever get away with this.

[grunting] As soon as
I get whoever's foot

this is out of my ear.

[giggling] Oh, I
will get away with it,

because the air in that box willonly last a few more minutes.

Now, if you'll
excuse me, it's time

to move to phase two of my plan,accelerating the clownification

of the Earth by
spraying down the rest

of the world with my makeup.

[cackling]

And with more and more peopleforced to appreciate clowns,

we'll finally return
to our former glory.

[cackling]

What do we do now?

We're packed in here
tighter than sardines.

Well, well, well.

Looks like you girlshave a whole secret life,

just like the deans though.

Mandy?

What are you doing here?
- Who cares?

Just get us out of this thing.

Ha!

Not a chance.

I need to get this awesomefootage back to the deans.

It's gonna land
me your penthouse,

if not all of West Coast Hall.

[giggling] Trent, get me on aflight home ASAP, first class,

of course, and move all ofmy stuff into the penthouse,

like immediately.

Mandy is moving on up.

I can't believe she--

Forget Mandy.

We need to get out of this boxbefore all the air is gone.

What gadgets do we have left?

Besides the high-poweredfaux earring magnets?

Not much.

Wait.

That can work.

Alex, can you reach one of them?

I think so.

Then what?

Hold the earring
near where the crank

is on the outside of the box.

Then rub it in a circular motionso the magnet turns the crank.

[rattling]

Yeah.

[grunting]

I always thought being a Jackin the Box would be a cool job,

but after that, I'm goingto have to reconsider.

Good choice.

Let's find that clown
lady and fix my face.

Come on, spies.

Follow that clown car.

[grunting]

[whooshing]

[shouting]

Ew.

How environmentally unfriendly.

Her car is spewing makeup.

[gasping]

[laughing]

[laughing]

She did say she was goingto spray down the rest

of the world with Clownique.

Come on, spies.

Let's ground this bozo.

[shouting]

[laughing]

Man, these guys have moretraffic than the streets of LA.

That's it, Bozette.

Land this car immediately.

You really need to
learn to have more fun.

[laughing]
[gasping]

[crying]

Oh, that is so immature.

[laughing]

Huh?

Enough messing
around, clown lady.

You're giving the world ofmakeup a really bad name.

[gasping]

Hang on, Clover.

I'm coming.

We're not playing anymore.

[whooshing]

[shouting]

You're no match
for the hilarity

of my cloud power, girls.

We need to think
of something fast,

or else Bozette's gonna makeclowns out of all of us.

OK, girls.

Time to join my
insane clown parade.

It's now or never, guys.

What's left in our
gadget bag of tricks?

Just one giant
soap bubble balloon.

The spy in me thinks that's agreat idea, but the clown in me

is so excited, I can
hardly contain myself.

May I?

Go for it, Clown Clover.

[cackling]

Uh-oh.

[cackling]

[crying out]

Hey, let me out of here.

I demand to be taken seriously.

It worked.

We bounced that clown
right into outer space.

It's a good thing too.

After this mission,
I so couldn't deal

with a world full of clowns.

Trust me.

Being one is no walk
in the park either.

Now let's get out of
here so Jerry can find

me a cure for clown-facitis.

Based

OK, deans.

I have got the dirt.

Not only are those girls
international spies

who jet-set around
the world, they also

were tangling with
a crazy clown lady

in Japan who had a
secret lair in the back

of a sushi restaurant,
and a teeny tiny car

she drove around in.

And she was trying to turneveryone in the entire world

into clowns with
their evil make up.

Hey, what gives?

Wow, that's quite a storyyou came up with Mandy.

I especially like the
clown makeup prop.

Very amusing, but
clearly we'll have

to find someone who
takes our mission

a little more seriously.

Now we've got work to.

Show yourself out, please.

But-- but it's all true.

I did what you wanted.

I earned that penthouse.

The only thing you've earnedis a place on our watch list.

Remember, we'll be
keeping our eyes on you.

[shouting]

So the world is
back to normal.

WOOHP retrieved Bozette
at the space station,

and now Mandy's scheme
has been thwarted.

Spies, one.

Bad guys, zero.

I just have one
last request, Jer.

The What's that?

When you erase Mandy's
memory, can you please

leave her clown makeup on?

Just for a little while?

[laughing]

[theme music]