03x11 - Knight to Remember

[bunniefuu]

[THEME - SAILOR MOON, "BRACEFACE"]

Something tells me I've been dreaming

of someone who was never real.

It seems I've changed a thousand ways.

I wish I looked the way I feel.

Braceface.

My life gets complicated.

Boyfriends.

Don't want to talk about it.

Teenage.

I'll work it out in the end.

Braceface.

My life gets complicated.

Boyfriends.

Don't want to talk about it.

Teenage.

I'll work it out in the end.

Braceface.

Hi, is she ready?

SHARON: I'll be right there.

I think she's on her way.

SHARON: Can we stop for ices on the way to the mall?

It's a little out of the way, but--

Hey, it's your day, pumpkin.

We'll do whatever you want.

Even look at prom dresses?

You trust my taste?

No way.

But I trust Lauren's.

What's this?

See for yourself.

SHARON: Your old camera.

I haven't seen this in ages.

DAD: I know.

It hasn't worked properly for years.

I want to drop it off to get it fixed.

Why don't you just get a new one?

DAD: It's a Lens-O-Matic Deluxe.

They're classics.

And I like it.

LAUREN: Which is why he's only now

finally getting around to it.

Hey, I've been busy.

SHARON: Oh, look at that one.

LAUREN: Let's go in.

You can try it on.

I better not.

I want to make sure I match with Bailey's tuxedo.

Oh, is Bailey your date?

I think so.

Well, he hasn't actually asked me yet though.

LAUREN: And you think he will?

Oh, he has to.

I mean, yeah, for sure.

[music playing]

SHARON: Taylor Knight.

I love him.

Who's Taylor Knight?

Who's Taylor Knight?

Dad, where have you been?

Except for that brief alien abduction,

right here in Elkford.

He's amazing.

His first CD sold gazillions.

You know he's coming to town to promote his new CD, right?

Of course, but it's the same night as the prom,

so I have to miss it.

Drag.

Well, he'll be at TV3.

I'll see if I can get you an autograph.

SHARON: Really?

Because that'd be great.

Scooter, that's his nickname, is really my type.

He's sensitive and gentle.

He hates phonies, loves tofu dogs,

and his idea of the perfect date is walking along the beach.

My camera!

Where did it go?

It's gone.

Someone must have stolen it.

How?

The windows aren't broken.

Uh, I think I left my door unlocked.

DAD: Uh, don't worry about it.

It was pretty old anyway.

But you liked it.

It's a classic.

Only to me, and it's insured.

Forget about it.

(SADLY) OK.

ALYSON: And then he took my hand and said, Alyson,

would you do me the great honor of accompanying

me to the junior prom?

Oh, you got to hand it to Connor.

He's a classy guy.

Yeah, you know how Brock asked me?

You want to go, Wong?

I'm free that night.

[gasps]

What?

Don't look.

I think he wants to ask me now.

ALYSON: Finally.

But he won't do it with you guys around, so you have to go,

hurry.

ALYSON: Gotcha.

But not fast like I'm telling you to go.

[humming]

Ahem, Sharon.

Bailey, hi.

Hi, I didn't see you there.

Oh, sorry.

Listen, I was wondering.

Sure.

I mean, do you have a question?

Well, go ahead and ask away because I

love to answer questions, especially

when it's for a friend.

And I really do consider you a friend at the very least.

So just--

[bell ringing] - It's OK.

I'll catch you later.

Ow!

What happened?

What did he say?

SHARON: Nothing.

It's very cute that he's so shy and everything,

but I wish he'd just get it over with.

Maybe next time you'll give him a chance.

[giggling]

The problem with prom dresses is that they're all too dressy.

They're formal, Maria.

What do you expect, racing stripes?

I'm totally looking forward to wearing mine.

It's ultra-feminine.

And Connor is going to be so cute in his tux.

I bet you Brock's going to look like a head waiter.

NINA: Excuse me.

My date owns a tux.

But not a brain if he's going with you.

Jealousy is such an unattractive emotion.

Well, as if.

I bet Bailey will look like a secret agent in his.

Yeah.

I think it's totally romantic how he's waiting for just

the right moment to ask you.

If that's what he's doing.

What do you mean?

Well, when Bailey was interested in you before,

you decided you just wanted to be friends.

I know, but he told me to keep him posted.

So I've been dropping hints all over the place to let

him know I'm interested now.

But don't you think--

[giggling]

GIRL: Bailey Donaldson just asked me to the prom.

[crying]

SHARON: I misread all the signs.

How could I be so stupid?

You're not stupid.

Bailey just blew it.

Yeah, he totally should have asked you, Sharon.

SHARON: Yeah, well, too bad he didn't know that.

MARIA: Listen, there are still a few days left.

That's true.

I'm sure someone will ask you.

You really think so?

Oh, yeah.

Definitely.

For sure.

Look at you.

You're fun, pretty, and smart.

Who wouldn't want to go with you?

[giggling]

NINA: What's the matter, Braceface, feeling unloved?

No, Nina.

As a matter of fact, I'm perfectly fine,

but thanks for asking.

(SARCASTICALLY) Any time.

Shall we go?

BAILEY: Sharon, good.

What I meant to ask you was, what kind of flowers

would you recommend for a corsage?

Huh?

Well, you're the only friend I have that's a girl.

I didn't know who else to ask.

Um, well, orchids are always nice and roses.

BAILEY: Thanks, I really appreciate this.

SHARON: That was his question?

MOM: There will be other proms, Sharon.

I know, but I'd still rather be going to this one.

Well, I went to my first one alone.

You're kidding?

No one asked you either?

It must be genetic.

MOM: Oh, someone asked me.

Arthur Hooperman.

SHARON: Really?

Why didn't you go with him?

My father asked him to take me.

What?

Why?

He didn't think anyone else would invite me.

Oh.

When I found out, I let Arthur off the hook

and went by myself.

Oh, Mom, that's even worse than what's happening to me.

That's why I told you.

You think I'd repeat this story to just anyone?

Good night, sweetie.

[laughing]

Particularly funny coffee this morning?

That's you?

Wow.

MOM: Last night got me to thinking I

really have to organize these.

SHARON: Josh, huh?

No, sweetie, that's you.

Me?

Ew!

Your dad went out and bought a camera

that day, especially so he could take

pictures of his new baby girl.

Really?

He did that?

Of course, he trotted it out for every Spitz milestone.

Your first baby tooth, Josh's first recital,

and Adam's first sports injury.

Don't you remember?

Now that you mention it, oh, Mom, I feel awful.

What's the matter, sweetie?

It was in the car, and I forgot to lock up.

Someone stole it.

Oh, no, you-- you never said anything.

I forgot.

I mean, he was only upset for a minute.

But I guess it's just because he didn't want me to feel bad,

right?

Well, you didn't do it on purpose.

I know, but now I feel worse than ever.

I have to do something.

And since I don't need to spend time finding a dress,

I might as well spend it looking for a camera.

You sure you still want to do this?

ALYSON: Yes, we totally understand if you didn't.

Hey, I volunteered to help with the decorating,

and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Oh, you are so inspiring.

SHARON: And there's no way I'm giving Nina the satisfaction

of seeing me quit.

Ugh!

Speak of the devil.

If you're here to remind us your date owns a tux, don't bother.

We've committed it to memory.

No, I was just thinking that the prom's

less than a week away.

And if I'm not mistaken, Braceface,

you still don't have a date.

SHARON: Whoa, look out.

Hey.

SHARON: Sorry.

You did that on purpose!

I did not.

If I wanted to hit you, I wouldn't have missed.

And just so you know, I don't care about not having a date,

OK.

Good, so when you come by yourself,

you can hang out with the other wallflowers.

You're trying not to give her the satisfaction, remember?

You should have let it hit her.

SHARON: A Lens-O-Matic Deluxe.

Hey, what's so funny?

I'm sorry, but how was I supposed to know?

Any luck?

Anything happen?

Lens-O-Matic went out of business.

Focus, Sharon, we're talking about a date for the prom.

Oh, I've resigned myself to not going.

Oh, but you have to.

Yeah, even if no one asks you, you can still hang with us.

SHARON: Are you serious?

I wouldn't be caught dead going alone.

Nina's right.

If I go by myself, I might as well wear a big loser

sign on my forehead.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Sorry to bother you, Sharon.

But I wanted to know if that guy ever asked you to the prom?

No, he didn't.

Why?

Well, you remember Taylor Knight's

in town the day of your prom.

Oh, yeah, I guess that means I can go now.

Thanks for reminding me, Lauren.

You're welcome.

But that's not why I called.

I need a single girl he can escort

to the prom for a TV3 story.

Really?

Yeah.

Do you know anyone I could get on such short notice?

Because if you're interested, I could arrange for you to--

SHARON: You are not going to believe this.

What?

What?

I'm going to the prom.

MARIA: No way.

ALYSON: With who?

Taylor Knight.

What?

You're kidding.

Lauren's arranging it through TV3.

MOM: But, sweetie, we don't know how much a camera like that

will cost if you even find one.

SHARON: I'll just keep looking until I do.

And how expensive can they be?

They're really old.

I'm sure I have enough saved up to cover it.

I don't know.

There it is.

Oh, Sharon, it's you.

[laughter]

Why does everyone laugh when I mention that camera?

I guess the brand is rare.

[laughter]

I think it's time to give up.

I can't.

Honey, those cameras just don't exist anymore.

I'm sure your dad would be happy with something else.

Don't you get it, Mom?

He loved that one.

Something different isn't good enough.

But, Sharon, we've been all over town.

I know, but there must be one somewhere.

Sharon, dinner's ready.

SHARON: I found it.

A Lens-O-Matic Deluxe just like Dad's.

Where?

An online auction with only six minutes and 23 seconds

to go.

Can I stay up here till it's over, please,

please, please, please?

I'll do all the dishes and make oatmeal cookies for Josh.

MOM: All right.

But I expect you downstairs as soon as--

SHARON: Thanks.

And don't forget your spending limit.

SHARON: Oh, I got outbid.

MOM: I thought you were in bed.

SHARON: I am.

I mean, I was.

I just wanted to see it one more time.

So today hasn't been all bad.

No way.

I love my dress.

And now that I know those cameras are out there,

I'll just keep checking the online auctions.

I'm sure I can get one eventually.

And?

Tomorrow, I meet Taylor Knight.

TAYLOR (ON TV): No, it's definitely just a coincidence

that my limo is the same color as my eyes.

Thanks, Taylor.

Hey, good luck with your new CD.

He is so gorgeous.

Well, get ready because he's going to be here any second.

Hair OK?

Perfect.

Zit activity?

None.

Food in my braces?

All clear.

TAYLOR: How do you think the interview went, Lauren?

LAUREN: Great.

Taylor, I'd like you to meet your date for the evening.

Ms. Sharon Spitz.

Pleased to meet you, Karen.

Likewise, Taylor.

But my name is Sharon--

PHOTOGRAPHER: All right, people, it's picture-taking time.

Stay right where you are.

OK, Taylor, gaze lovingly at the girl.

Like this?

Perfecto.

Smile at Taylor, young lady.

Hey, I'm light sensitive.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to--

Could we hurry this up?

That light just gave me a splitting headache.

OK, but keep the shades.

And can she not smile?

Her braces are so bright they almost blew out a light, man.

Just smile with your mouth closed, OK?

That's it.

We're done.

Bye, Tayl--

TAYLOR: I'm out of here.

My head's exploding.

LAUREN: He's just so busy right now.

That's OK.

The hair and makeup and wardrobe people

will come by tonight before Taylor

picks you up in the limo.

That should be fun.

Here I come.

What do you think?

That you look beautiful.

I know Taylor's not the perfect date or anything,

but at least I get to go to the prom, right?

Better than staying home by myself.

If you say so, sweetie.

[doorbell ringing]

We're here to get you ready for the prom.

But I am ready.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh.

Are you sure I need all this stuff on the dress

and the fancy hair and makeup?

WOMAN: Yes, if you're going to color

coordinate with Taylor's eyes.

Who am I trying to kid?

I'm just a prop.

Well, if that's the way you feel,

Sharon, you can always call it off.

No, I'll just go through with it.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Sharon.

Oh, hi, Lauren.

I'm just here waiting for Taylor.

Yeah, about that.

His people just called me.

SHARON: Uh-huh.

Oh, Sharon, I'm so sorry.

He still has a bad headache, and he's canceling

his appearance at the prom.

Really?

That's great.

I can't tell you how awful I feel.

Pardon me.

What did you say?

I said I'm totally fine with it.

Really?

Because you don't have to pretend.

SHARON: Honest.

But I do appreciate what you were trying to do for me.

OK, I guess I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Yes.

What is it, sweetie?

Taylor just canceled.

I can see how upset you are.

Oh, Mom, I've so been dreading tonight.

I couldn't even imagine spending an hour with that guy,

never mind the whole evening.

Believe it or not, being all by myself is so much better.

[doorbell ringing]

What if it's him?

What if he changed his mind?

So fast?

Wouldn't Lauren have called you back?

Maybe she doesn't know.

[doorbell ringing]

Surprise.

Dad, what are you doing here?

sh**ting another milestone.

What do you think?

SHARON: That's not your camera.

Oh, yes, it is.

I just bought it.

But what about your Lens-O-Matic?

Yeah, I loved that thing.

Then why would you settle for this one?

It's just a camera.

It's not like I'm marrying it or anything.

Where is your date anyway?

Long story.

You want to stay for oatmeal cookies?

I'll fill you in.

DAD: Oatmeal cookies, you bet.

They're delicious.

Sharon tried a new recipe.

A new recipe, another milestone.

Dad.

TAYLOR (ON TV): No, it's definitely just a coincidence

that my limo is the same color as my eyes.

Delete from memory.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

When are you getting here?

You're missing all the fun.

I'm not coming.

Taylor bailed on me.

Oh, you're kidding.

I don't believe it.

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Come here and tell me now.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

Everyone's expecting me to show up with Taylor Knight.

Oh, who cares?

If I can put on a fancy dress, you can walk in here alone.

Brock is never going to let me live it down.

Sorry, guys.

It's just me.

Sharon.

Hi, Bailey.

ALYSON: It's about time you got here.

And for being brave, you get a special reward.

What?

Take a look at Nina.

I bet you she wishes she'd come alone.

How could you wear that in public?

I lost a bet, OK?

It's the same color as Taylor's eyes.

[dance music]

SHARON (VOICEOVER): So it turned out

to be a night to remember after all for all the right reasons.

[theme music]