03x10 - Identity Crisis

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

THEME SONG: Something tells me I've been dreaming

of someone who was never real.

It seems I've changed a thousand ways.

I wish I looked the way I feel.

Braceface.

My life gets complicated.

Boyfriends.

Don't want to talk about it.

Teenage.

I'll work it out in the end.

Braceface.

My life gets complicated.

Boyfriends.

Don't want to talk about it.

Teenage.

I'll work it out in the end.

Braceface!

[music playing]

STYLIST: So, what look are we going for today?

Just give me a trim, please.

Same as usual.

Have you considered trying something different?

Like what?

Something with movement, a hairstyle

that speaks to people.

Don't look at me.

I like my hair to keep quiet.

[gasps] Something like that.

MARIA: Definitely different.

It's so short.

Not everyone can pull off a lopsided bob,

but with your cheekbones, amazing.

But what if I don't like it?

It'll take ages to grow back.

Yeah.

Remember how upset you got when the groomer

cut Samson's coat too short?

I didn't want all the other dogs to laugh at him.

Thanks, but I'll stick to my usual.

[music playing]

STUDENT: You hair's amazing.

That looks so great.

STUDENT: I don't know if I could pull that off.

STUDENT: It really suits you.

Man, that Christie is stylin.

I know.

Her new haircut is totally unique.

I got a haircut too.

You did?

Looks the same to me.

Oh, it's at least a half an inch shorter

and, um, no split ends.

STUDENT: Totally suits you.

Christie really does look good in that bob.

You should have talked me into getting it.

Why?

Like you said, it just isn't you.

Yeah, I can't see you doing something that drastic.

What do you mean?

Well, you don't exactly live on the edge.

Not true.

Oh, Sharon, it took you three weeks to change

your brand of toothpaste.

You're just not a risk-taker.

[bell ringing]

Expand your horizons.

Take a risk and surprise yourself with your creations.

This student teacher is kind of weird, don't you think?

I think Miss Rivers is pretty cool.

I've never seen anyone like her.

True.

I didn't know teachers were allowed

to walk around barefoot.

Remember when I decided to get a tattoo?

That was pretty wild of me.

Yeah, if you went through with it.

Didn't you get your ears pierced instead?

So?

I changed my mind at the last second.

Sure.

If you say so.

Don't just work with the clay.

Use the negative space and see what the clay is not.

OK.

My clay is not looking like a vase.

Oh, Sharon, you might want to slow down.

[gasps] Sharon!

[music playing]

Hmm.

It's bad, isn't it?

I love it.

You do?

Anyone can make a vase, but you took a risk and made art.

I did?

I mean, I did.

It's rare to find someone your age who's brave enough

to think outside the box.

SHARON (VOICEOVER): I know I didn't think

outside the box on purpose, but that

didn't mean I couldn't try.

After all, I was kind of like that lump of clay,

waiting to be turned into anything I wanted.

I know your birthday isn't until Friday,

but I couldn't wait to see the look on your face.

I hope you kept the receipt.

Looks like it got busted on the way home.

I didn't buy it.

I made it.

It's a vase.

It's lovely, honey.

Thank you.

A vase only a mother could love.

BOTH: [laughs]

I knew you wouldn't understand.

You're too linear.

HELEN: OK, you two, that's enough.

Arguing is bad for the digestion.

This is only part of your gift.

What else do you want for your birthday?

A nice dinner at Piccapedo with my children.

Oh, we do that every year.

Don't you wanna do something different?

No.

Not really.

But you should learn to be more

spontaneous, like Miss Rivers.

One time, on her birthday, she went to the airport

and got on the next plane out of town.

She didn't know where she was going till the last minute.

That's great, honey.

Can someone please pass the peas?

ADAM: Sure.

And this other time, she celebrated by taking

a vow of silence for a year.

Now we know what to get you for your birthday.

BOTH: [laughs]

This Miss Rivers sounds very interesting,

but what I want is to have a nice quiet dinner

surrounded by the ones I love.

[music playing]

SHARON: Don't get your hopes up for my mom's birthday.

It's gonna be a total snooze.

She never wants to try anything new.

The cooks here have the same problem.

I think this is the same veggie burger

from our first day of school.

I must get my free spirit from my dad.

Bad news, that coed softball team we're putting together,

the rules state we have to have an equal number

of girls and boys on our team, and we're one girl short.

I'll play.

You hate softball.

Which makes joining the team very unpredictable of me.

There, it's only lunchtime and I've already

done one spontaneous act.

You made a list of spontaneous things to do?

I can be a free spirit and still be organized.

Look, Miss Rivers.

Hi.

Eating on the floor?

Is she nuts?

No.

She's just open to other cultures.

They eat like that in Japan, you know.

Well, in Elkford, they eat like this.

You gotta admit, he is unique.

Don't just look at the leaves, be the leaves.

Sway as the wind ripples through you.

Don't you feel free?

Try humiliated.

You need to get into it.

Feel the wind.

Your leaf is totally engaging, Sharon.

Um, Miss Rivers, when do we get to actually draw something?

You can't expect to draw leaves until you've experienced

leafness from the inside.

Brock was right.

Miss Rivers is kind of weird.

You really have to open your mind to new experiences, Maria,

the way Miss Rivers and I do.

Shh, do you hear that?

The trees are laughing.

Yeah, at us.

[laughs]

[bell ringing]

Don't forget your homework.

I want you to create something that captures

the essence of the wind.

Miss Rivers, I just want to say

I love the way you look at everyday things

in such an interesting way.

Asante.

That's Swahili for thank you.

Sometimes I get so bored with English.

Oh, me too.

What are these?

Invitations for my art opening.

Take one if you want.

You're inviting me to your show?

Thank-- I mean, asante.

[music playing]

Here, mom.

Let me help.

Gee, thanks.

Oh, sorry.

Sharon, I could use your help.

Sure.

[laughs] Is it Halloween already?

I'm expanding my wardrobe horizons.

By dressing in the dark?

You look bizarre, like Miss Rivers.

She's not bizarre.

She's fabulous.

Really?

Yes.

You never know what she's gonna do next, like me.

I see.

I'm glad you like your new teacher, sweetie.

And it's good to get excited about new ideas and styles.

But?

Be careful not to lose yourself in the process.

I knew you wouldn't understand.

You're too close-minded.

Pardon me?

It's not your fault. You're so used to rules and schedules

you can't be spontaneous anymore.

I used to be like that before I met Miss Rivers.

You should talk to her.

She could really help you.

[gasps] I know, I'll invite her to your birthday party.

Maybe she can inspire you the way she inspired me.

I think one inspired person is enough for this family.

Trust me, meeting Miss Rivers is the best birthday

present you'll ever get.

What are we gonna get mom.

Oh, relax.

We've got two whole days.

This from the girl who starts her Christmas list in July?

Yes, but the new me thinks we should wake up on Friday

and buy the first thing that pops into our heads.

No way.

Adam dreams about food.

He'll get her a sandwich.

How about a sweater?

Or a book on psychology.

You guys aren't thinking outside the box.

What does that mean?

Thinking differently, not just the same old thing.

We have to help mom see the world in a new way.

You want us to get her glasses?

No.

How about tap dancing lessons or a rafting trip down the Amazon?

I don't think those gifts are really her.

Exactly my point.

[sighs] I guess I'll have to teach

you how to think creatively.

How?

By showing us how to be leaves?

How do you know about that?

News travels fast.

Fine, figure it out yourself.

But you better come up with something unique.

We'll figure out what to get, and it'll be a lot better

than anything you come up with.

And she'd love to meet you.

You're just the kind of inspiration she needs.

Tell your mom I'd be honored to celebrate her birthday.

Great!

MARIA: Did you just invite Miss Rivers to your mom's party?

Oh boy.

Started hanging out with the teacher,

and you can kiss your social life goodbye, especially

a whack attack like that.

There's nothing wrong with her.

Well, she is an artist.

They do things differently.

No kidding.

I heard she only eats with her right hand.

They do that in India.

And she banned the color blue from art class.

It's so overused.

If you knew her the way I do, you'd see how cool she is.

You're acting like you were separated at birth.

You-- you talk like her, you dress like her.

She's just inspired me to look at my wardrobe in a new way.

Yeah, with your eyes closed.

I hope you brought pants.

You can't play softball dressed like that.

Oh, I can't make it.

I'm going to Miss Rivers' art opening instead.

What?

But without you, we won't have enough players.

We'll have to forfeit the game.

I'm sorry, but I can't be boxed in by plans.

I have to go where the moment takes me.

[music playing]

I can't believe you created all this, Miss Rivers.

You're really talented.

Oh, I'm glad you think so.

And since we're not in school, why don't you call me Vivian.

OK, Vivian.

I hate the formality of Miss Rivers,

but the school system is filled with rules

that stifle one's true essence.

My mom's always trying to stifle

my true essence with rules.

It's hard on free spirits like us.

I'm spent.

I think it's time to close up for the day.

What do you think, darling?

Well, uh--

Shh, I'm talking to my painting.

Oh.

You are?

If you want your art to come alive,

you must treat it as a living, breathing thing.

Hmm, makes sense, I guess.

It's settled.

What do you say we step out for some refreshments?

Oh, you're talking to me?

Sounds great.

Looks like I'm going for the vita gulp.

And I'll try a bubble tea.

[music playing]

Oh, this song really moves me.

I love how free you are.

My mom wouldn't be caught dead doing this in public.

That's a shame.

Moving to the music releases inhibitions.

I can't wait for you to meet her.

She so needs to loosen up.

I hope there'll be dancing at your mom's party.

Music makes me feel so alive.

Uh, Vivian.

SHARON (VOICEOVER): I was ready for spontaneous,

but not humiliating.

I was starting to realize that hanging out with Vivian

was a big mistake.

[music playing]

SHARON: Guys, wait up.

Oh, look where the wind blew Miss Spontaneous.

Don't you suddenly have to fly off to Venice

or take up clog dancing or something?

I guess you had to forfeit the softball game, huh?

Do you really care?

Of course.

I never should have blown you off.

I've been a pretty lousy friend lately.

Oh, well, you haven't been that bad.

Hello?

Are you even listening to me?

What?

Oh, sure I am.

Oh, sorry, I guess we're not interesting enough

to pay attention to.

No, it's not you, honest.

Whatever.

[music playing]

Um, about your party, maybe it would be

better if it was just family.

But you always invite Maria.

Uh, yeah, Maria will be there.

I hope.

And Miss Rivers, right?

She doesn't have to be.

I mean, I know you didn't want me to invite her.

I'm sorry about that.

I jumped to conclusions and judged her without knowing her.

Yeah, but--

I trust your instinct in people, sweetie,

so I can't wait to meet her.

She sounds like quite a character.

You can say that again.

[music playing]

[thunder crashing]

So what did you want to talk to me about?

It's, uh, about my mom's party.

I wrote your mother a song for the occasion.

You know how music makes me feel so alive.

Oh, that's too bad because my mom

doesn't want any music played.

So it's probably gonna be pretty boring,

and I know how you hate to be tied down to plans,

so I totally understand if you don't wanna come.

Sharon, I love spontaneity, but I'd never

cancel plans with friends.

You wouldn't?

No.

I'd never let you down.

Music or no music, I'll be there.

Oh, good.

Oh, except my mom hates birthdays.

She gets depressed about getting old,

so she wants to, uh, well, cancel the whole thing.

Well, I needed time to work anyway.

Right, Henry?

Another one of Miss Rivers fashion risks?

No, it's a baseball glove.

I figure I'll need it for our next game.

If you'll still let me be on the team.

Oh, I don't know.

I have to think about it.

Come on, Maria, I promise not to miss a single game.

And I know I'm not the best player in the world,

but I'm pretty good.

Oh, you know I can never stay mad at you.

So are you and Miss Rivers wearing matching outfits

to your mom's party?

[thunder crashing]

Ow.

Actually, she's not coming.

Why not?

Well, I kind of lied.

I told Vivian my mom canceled her party.

MARIA: How come?

SHARON: I had to do it.

You were so right.

She's really weird.

Honestly, Maria, she's a lot more out there than I thought.

Uh, Sharon--

And I was afraid she'd do something

spontaneous in front of everyone,

and I'd die of embarrassment.

Like you're about to do now?

I understand how you feel, Sharon.

It's just too bad you felt you had to lie to me.

I know most people see me as weird.

I'm not trying to embarrass anyone,

I just see the world from a different perspective.

It makes my art and my life more fun.

I thought you felt the same way.

SHARON (VOICEOVER): Talk about making a mess of things.

Not only did I hurt Vivian's feelings,

but it turned out she wasn't the only one

I didn't know anything about.

I was wrong about myself too.

[music playing]

Vivi-- I mean, Miss Rivers?

Entre.

That means come on in.

Um, I'm sorry I lied to you.

Will you still come to the party?

My mom would love to meet you?

I don't think it's a good idea.

Besides, I really do have a lot of work to do.

I'm really sorry about what I said.

Regret is such a bourgeois emotion.

Free yourself.

Don't be sorry about how you feel.

But that's just it, I do like you.

I think you're really cool.

Asante.

I tried to be spontaneous and free-spirited, like

you but that's just not me.

You're a person who dances in cafes, and I'm a person who--

Sinks under the table, embarrassed.

Sharon, being a free spirit isn't about dancing in public,

being an artist, or what you wear.

It's about being who you really are.

[music playing]

JOSH: Happy birthday, Mom.

ADAM: Yeah, way to go, mom.

Happy birthday.

OK, who wants an icing rosette?

GROUP: Sharon.

Same as every year.

Sorry about being a jerk lately.

No sweat.

You were right.

I was?

Not about teaching us to think,

but about getting us to do it creatively.

Josh and I came up with something mom would

never think of for herself.

Yeah, we got her the best gift ever.

Let's see it.

She's wearing it right now.

Show her what we got you, mom.

Oh.

Of course.

Oh.

Looking good.

You boys are so thoughtful.

The girl at the store said it's the latest thing.

Well, it certainly is unique.

We were thinking outside the box.

Great.

That blouse should have stayed inside the box.

SHARON (VOICEOVER): [laughs]

[theme music]