04x14 - Evil Heiress Much?

[bunniefuu]

[compowder beeping]

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER: Please
welcome to the stage

everyone's favorite
billionaire, Thomas Hansen.

Thank you for coming out
to see my fourth attempt

to balloon around the world.

I'm ecstatic that you all choose
to live vicariously through me.

Au revoir.

[engines roar]

[cheering]

[growling]

I must be hungrier
than I thought.

[growling]

[gasp]

[school bell]

[chattering]

Snow crab, salmon,
unagi, if I had my way,

I'd eat sushi all the time.

Agreed.

Last one with a piece of
fish is a rotten tuna roll.

How can you guys
eat when you're

not up to date on the latest
gossip about the famously rich.

Priorities girls, priorities.

For example, did you know
that the power four trade

hotels like baseball cards?

The power four?

Sounds like a team
of superheroes.

Hopeless, much.

Oh, Sammy.

The power four are the four
richest people on the planet.

There's Kimberly Kelley,
the hottest pop star around.

And yes, she does
write her own music.

Helena Simms, the fabulously
stylish talk show host.

Chester Bates, the computer
genius and philanthropist.

Wow, you think he's be able
to afford contact lenses.

And Thomas Hansen,
world class adventurer,

and all around dreamy rich guy.

So they're all rich, so what?

There are things in life
that matter more than money.

Like what?

Like, uhm, like lots of stuff.

I mean just because they're
billionaires doesn't

make them special.

I'm sure deep down
they're just like us.

You know, normal,
everyday people having who

has the largest competition.

If normal means having a
gagillion dollars, sign me up.

[laughter]

You girls focus too
much on material things.

I'll show you that anyone can
do without pointless luxuries,

starting with this
overpriced sushi lunch.

Well I can help you there.

I love sushi.

[yelling]

Thank you, Clover, but you
know the only kind of fish

I enjoy comes with chips.

Hands off, Jer.

That floor food was my lunch.

Lunch can wait.

Girls, three of the
world's richest people

have been abducted.

[gasp] Wow, talk about
total synchronicity.

Yeah, we were just
gossiping about them.

Yeah, you two just
talking about them.

I was looking away in disgust.

[throat clearing]

Oh, right. are there any
clues to their disappearance?

Only one, and a
strange one at that.

These strange digging
marks were found

at the site of each abduction,
but we don't know who, or what,

caused them.

Well, don't worry.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

No one is going to kidnap
the fabulously wealthy

on our watch.

I'm sorry to
disappoint you, Clover,

but your mission isn't
to solve this case.

[gasps]

Instead, your priority is
to protect what will probably

be the next target,
Milan Stilton, hotel

heiress and the world's
fifth richest person.

[squealing]

She's like our
favorite rich person.

Her clothing
line is to die for.

ALEX: And Fufu is, like,
the cutest dog ever.

Oh please, she
is completely vapid

and totally materialistic.

And, hello, if the top three
richest people are missing,

wouldn't it make more
sense that we protect

the fourth richest person?

Indeed it would, but Chester
Bates turned down our offer

of protection, confident
that his security system

could handle any intruders.

Milan, on the other
hand, accepted our offer.

Grudgingly, I might add.

G.L.A.D.I.S.: And
now for your gadgets.

Today you'll be using the
earring communicators,

heat sensor motion
detector sunglasses,

drill heel boots, and the
emerald tracking pendant,

which you'll be able
to track from anywhere

using your ex powders.

Forget it.

I'm trying to give up material
possessions, not get more.

Worry not, Sam it's for Milan.

Fine, I'll take it, but
I don't have to like it.

Good luck in
protecting Milan, girls.

The abductor may
strike at any time.

[screaming]

Raw fish.

I'll never understand it.

It's not even
wrapped in newspaper.

[motorcycle engine roaring]

This settles it, there is no
such thing as too much pink.

Gaudy much?

You're just jealous
because you're

not rich enough to pull it off.

[screaming]

Trouble, come on girls.

[muffled grunts]

[thud]

ALEX: There they
are, the kidnappers.

[gasp]

[scream]

SAM: That was easy.

Yeah, almost like they
weren't putting up a fight.

Milan, are you all right?

What are you doing?

How dare you lay a hand
on my magic finger ladies?

Magic finger ladies?

That doesn't sound very evil.

That's because they're not.

Now, I'm going to
assume that you're

not my new maids, because if you
were, you'd already be fired.

Hey, I'm Clover, and
this is Alex and Sam.

We're the agents from
WOOHP sent to protect you.

I guessed as much.

Your horrible outfits
are a dead giveaway.

What's wrong with our outfits?

One piece jumpsuits?

Please.

They are so last
season bargain bin.

Excuse me.

Tell me you didn't
just say bargain bin.

Sam, we're here to
protect her, remember?

You whatever it is ill
mannered people like you do,

as long as you don't disturb
me or my precious Fufu again.

[dog whines]

Aw, my little Fufu.

Did their lack of
style scare you?

[growls]

Look, we don't like
this any more than you do.

So we'll leave you
alone on one condition,

you'll wear this
tracking pendant.

Emerald?

That color so does
not match my season.

I like diamonds, big pink ones.

I haven't seen this much
ice since last time we

went to Antarctica.

I'll wear your stupid
pendant as long as you

keep her away from my jewelry.

It's a deal.

If you need us,
we'll be on patrol.

CLOVER: Wait, can't we
play dress up please?

Wow, this girl's
got pink on the brain.

Hey Sammy, find anything yet?

Nada, but I'm convinced
she has her lawn

mowed with nail clippers.

How about you Clover?

I hit the jackpot.

This closet is
bigger than my room.

SAM: Are you actually
looking for a kidnappers,

or are you just
day dreaming again?

Fine.

[muffled calls for help]

What was that?

Time for a better look.

[phone rings]

What is it, Jer?

I've just received a distress
call from Chester Bates.

I want to Alex and Clover
to check it out immediately.

Sam, you keep an eye on Milan.

We're on it

Oh, I wonder what
his closets are like.

Great, why do I get
to be the babysitter?

All this extravagances
is giving me a headache.

[panting]

[screaming]

Apparently this dude has
never heard of a beware

of invisible wall sign.

Well, his security
system is still up.

Then how did
anyone get inside?

Clover, look.

Digging marks.

And a tunnel.

For elves, maybe.

I mean, hello.

Tiny much.

Out of the way, Clover.

These boots were
made for drilling.

[splattering]

Hey, if I wanted a mud
pack, I'd go to a spa.

Either Chester
Bates was kidnapped,

or he just had an awesome party.

Maybe if we tidy up we
might find a clue two.

Do I look like a
cleaning service to you?

ALEX: Hey, check it
out, something shiny.

A pink diamond.

Gee, who do we know
who wears pink diamonds?

All right Sam, you have way
too many material possessions.

Now, I can cancel my fitness
mag subscriptions, donate

my computer to a
school, and who needs

more than three pairs of shoes?

Like, everybody.

But more importantly, Chester
Bates has been kidnapped.

And we think Little Miss
Pink and Perfect is involved.

But she's been lights
out the whole time.

See?

Milan hasn't moved for hours.

Unless she took
her tracker off.

[crash]

There'd better be
a very good reason

for kicking open my door again.

Can't we just pretend
it never happened?

And Fuzzy's been where?

My little Fufu was
out doing her business.

Is that a problem?

It is for you.

We found this diamond
at Chester's estate,

and it matches the
diamonds on Fufu's collar.

So we know you and your
little dog had something to do

with Chester's kidnapping.

Poor, little Fufu.

The only thing she does
is take out the trash.

[barking]

Oh look, Fufu thinks
he's an attack dog.

Isn't that adorable?

[barking]

I think someone's bark
is worse than their--

[lasers powering up]

[expl*si*n]

Lasers?

[barking]

What's that noise?

I don't know, but it's
scrambling my brain.

[shattering]

This is worse
than country music.

I am so proud
of you, yes I am.

That's a good robot dog.

Who ordered you from Japan?

Who programmed you?

That's right, I did.

Who's a cutie wootie?

Who's a cutie wootie?

Where are we?

We're trapped
in Milan's closet.

You've got to help us.

I knew there was something
fishy about that thumping I

heard.

And besides, any girl
that would make her summer

coordinates with
her business casual

is definitely hiding something.

Oh good, you're all awake.

Yeah, just in time for
you to tell us why you're

kidnapping billionaires, Milan.

[laughter] It's
simple, really.

You see, I'm just not
satisfied being the fifth

richest person in the world.

Milan must be number one.

And since I'm no
good at making money,

the only way I can move up is
to take out the competition.

And now that I've got
everyone wrapped up,

I can take care of
them in one fell swoop,

or should I say smooch?

[laughter]

What do you think
she meant by that?

Who cares?

Kimberly Kelley, I
am you biggest fan.

Thanks.

Did you and Matthew
Ocean really breakup?

I mean, I just read a feature
in Totally Loaded that

says he's an awesome kisser.

Maybe this isn't the
best time to dish, Clover.

Au contraire, when
else are we going

to find out about the lives
of the obscenely rich?

So, Chester, is it true you have
more money than most countries?

Well, yes.

Then why don't you use it to
buying your way out of this?

See, money can't
buy you everything.

Wow, chill, Sam.

Sorry she's having major
materialism hostility issues.

Yeah, she's
practically a hippie.

Well I'd rather be a hippie
than a soulless own-it-all.

[rumbling]

Um, I hate to interrupt,
but what was that?

[gasp]

The walls.

[grunting]

If we don't do
something quick,

this is going to get messy.

I've got an idea.
remember our yoga classes?

Duh, we only go every week.

We need to do deep
breathing exercises.

Ready?

OK, but I don't see--

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

[heavy breathing]

All the way out.

And hold.

See?

Yoga's awesome and it's cheap.

Good job, Sam.

Yeah, I never would have thought
yoga could save our lives.

Ahem, tied up here.

[grunt]

This isn't working.

Out of the way.

Drill boots, coming through.

OK, bad idea.

Take out the glass instead.

No problem.

OK, slight problem.

Get me out of here.

What can we do?

Don't worry, we'll get
you out of here somehow.

That glass is just
too hard to break.

And what's harder than glass?

Diamonds, right.

[glass breaking]

I'm liking Milan less and less.

Told you.

But, her clothing line is
still completely styling.

Speaking of Milan, I
wonder where she is now.

Come on, Sam.

No way she's still wearing
that tracking pendant.

She'd have to be a total
airhead not to take it off.

I've always dreamed
of being on the cover

of Totally Loaded magazine.

Who dares interrupt
my finest moment?

We dare.

And if appearing in a crummy
magazine is your finest moment,

then you seriously
need to get a life.

Hey, I like that magazine.

You're supposed
to be jam by now.

No matter.

Fufu, take care of
these mean, nasty girls.

[growling]

[barking]

Not again.

I think I know how
to block him out.

Quick, stuff it in your ears.

That's right, puppy dog.

Keep on barking, cause
we can't hear you

[growling]

[crunch]

Wow, Fufu's hardcore.

Here, fetch.

[expl*si*n]

Maybe we should play
a different game.

Let's see if he can eat this.

[gasp]

[scream]

[splash]

That's it.

Time for Fufu to take a bath.

That can be arranged.

Hey Fufu, over here.

[growling]

Yeah, over here you overpriced
excuse for a real dog.

Oh no, I'm trapped on the
end of this diving board.

If that terrible dog was to leap
at me, I'd have nowhere to go.

[splash]

Nice job, Alex.

I knew all those years of
balance beam would pay off.

You think this is over?

It's not over.

Do you know who I am?

Yeah you're the person getting


You can't do this to me.

I'm too rich to go to jail.

Excellent work, agents.

Who would have guessed
that our kidnapper

was the very person you were
protecting from the kidnapper?

Yeah, it's a
real mind twister.

Thanks very much
for saving us.

Indeed, good show there.

Uh, yeah.

That was like right on.

If there is any way
we can reward you--

Oh, that's no
necessary-- wait, you

guys are billionaires right?

And I just happen to
need a new wardrobe.

Oh, and I would die
for my own private gym.

What about you, Sam ?

I could totally
use a private island,

and a matching private yacht so
I can get to my private island.

How great would that be?

Thank you, but WOOHP
agents do not accept gifts.

Doing a good job is our reward.

Wait, don't call
it a gift, then.

We accept tips or honorariums.

Christmas bonus?

Come on, please?

So much for giving up
material possessions.

A matching yacht and island?

How tacky.

Did you know that the colors you
wear totally reflect your mood?

Like black means that you're
bummed and probably like

zombies and bats and stuff.

But yellow means you're
happy and you love bananas.

Of course, if you add
white boots to the mix,

that means that
you have to treat

black as if it was yellow.

Or is it orange?

But orange means you're
optimistic about the

future-- wait, or is it red?

No, maybe green.

Maybe we should just
all wear mood rings.

It would make
things a lot easier.