02x08 - Boys Bands Will Be Boys Bands

[bunniefuu]

[theme - moonbaby, "here we go"]

THEME SONG: Here we go.

We're getting on the
road till we stop.

And then we'll shop.

So one, two, three,
now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go on a
mission undercover

and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're Totally Spies, so
we'll get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[rock music playing]

[cheering]

Thank you, Amsterdam!

Good night!

[cheering continues]

Oh, I forgot my pen.

I'll be right back.

Hey!

Who are-- ah!

[MUFFLED] let me go!

I'm so psyched to try this.

I heard Power Yoga
Chi-kwondo is the best

spot to get a good workout
and meet cute guys.

Just try to keep up
and don't embarrass me.

Yoga's a snap.

I doubt we'll even
break a sweat.

[gong sounding]

Hell.

I'm Shirley.

Welcome to my world of pain.

I've got a bad
feeling about this.

Follow me, if you dare.

Long Tiger.

[roaring]

Squatting Bear.

[growling]

Skipping Goat.

[bleating]

Maybe we should have started
with the beginner class.

I think Shirley has issues.
- Oh!

I didn't realize it
was Help the Needy day.

Hello, Mandy.

What are you doing here?

I was just getting
an aromatherapy bath.

Ugh.
You three should try one.

What's with the bandage?

It's a tattoo.

Tats are totally in right now.

I'm having a coming out
pool party for the unveiling

this Saturday.

Only the coolest people
are going to be there.

You and Sam are
coming, right, Clover?

We are?

You two qualify.

I think it's cool
that you two can

walk around with last
year's hairstyles

and still act secure.

- What about me?
- Ha!

As if.

You are definitely
not cool enough.

Not cool enough?

Later, girls.

See you on Saturday.

I think what we all need
right now is a nice sauna.

What does Mandy
know about being cool?

Did you see those hip-huggers
she was wearing yesterday?

Hello, 1970s calling.

I'm not cool enough?

Chyeah, right.

I bet if I got a tattoo, I'd
so be invited to that party.

I'll show her.

What do you guys think?

Maybe it wouldn't be so
bad getting a tattoo.

Alex, gross!

Tattoos are, like, permanent.

OK, this is a little more
sauna than I had in mind.

Hello, girls.

Sorry to have dragged you
away from your conversation

just when things were
getting a bit steamy.

Hello, not funny much.

Couldn't you have waited?

We're all stinky.

I'm afraid we've
got a situation.

The leading nations of the
world are getting ready to begin

talks on world unity.

The talks are scheduled
to begin following

a unity concert held in Russia.

Unfortunately, one of the
singers of the headlining act

has disappeared.

This act is a favorite of the
Russian president's daughter.

If they don't appear, the
talks could be in jeopardy.

Who's the headlining act?

The platinum-selling
boy band Teensicle.

Teensicle?

Oh my gosh.

I love them!

They're our favorite
band this week!

[screaming]

OK.

Which member disappeared?

I believe his name is Mikey?

Mikey?

He's the cute, sensitive one.

What's the big deal?

They're just wannabes.

Since when aren't
you a fan, Alex?

Since always.

I prefer the
old-school boy bands

who were popular last
year when being a boy band

meant something.

Bands like Boy Candy.

I like to keep a
few pictures handy.

This is T-Bone, the lead singer.

He is way hot.

Whatever!

So when do we
get to meet them?

They so have to know I
am their number one fan.

Clover, try and
focus on the mission.

[screaming]

Hm.
Yes.

Well--
[screaming]

--maybe we should get
another WOOHP team to--

- What?
- No way!

We'll be good!

Promise!

Very well.

WOOHP would like you girls to
go undercover as presidents

of the Teensicle fan club.

This will give you
access to interview

the remaining two members.

Keep an eye on them in
case the kidnapper returns.

World unity hangs in the
balance on this one, girls.

Now, let's take a
look at your gadgets.

Scanner watches.

Laser lipstick.

Expendable cable bungee belts.

And a new device the boys
are calling flavaphones--

functioning stereo
headphones that

release a protective,
crash-proof Afro when

activated.

Girls, it's time
to rock and roll.

[yelling excitedly]

[gasps]

So you girls are
presidents of our fan club?

That's right.

We heard about Mikey's
abduction and thought you might

need some help with the tour.

I'll start.

Who needs a hug?

Sam, the mission.

Concentrate.

Mikey's disappearance has
got us pretty freaked out.

I mean, a year ago, we were
orphans, living on the street,

begging for food.

Aw, you guys were orphans?

Oh.

No, not really.

That's just something the
promo department came up with.

Gives us street cred.

Our parents are super cool.

We're just doing the boy
band thing to jumpstart

our acting careers.

Well, don't worry.

We're here to make sure
everything goes smoothly.

You guys have nothing
to fear with us around.

That felt like
a herd of buffalo.

Yeah, a herd of
buffalo wearing pumps.

[groans]

Need a hand?

Thanks.

Huh?

Mikey?

You're all right?

Sure.

Why wouldn't I be?

Because you were
kidnapped, weren't you?

What?

That's crazy talk.

I just took off to the desert.

Been lying in mud,
watching the cactus flowers

bloom for the last few days.

Dude!

You're back!

We thought something
happened to you.

No, I'm fine.

Let's sign some autographs.

Uh, so what now?

Is the mission over?

This is totally bogus.

I need at least another
hour to make one of them

fall in love with me.

Wait a sec.

Since when does Mikey
have a double chin?

And I distinctly
remember reading

that each member of Teensicle
has a 30-inch waist.

Something's not right.

Oh, well.

For now, I guess it looks
like the mission's over.

Time to head home.

Give it up, girlfriend.

Our shot at rock and roll
lifestyle is not to be.

There's just
something we missed.

I'm sure of it.

[giggling]

Ew.

Will you look at that?

You are definitely coming
to my party on Saturday.

I might even let you
pull of my bandage.

Uh, great.

David totally
think she's cool!

That's it.

I'm getting a tattoo.

Something that will really
impressed people, like a flower

or a pair of espadrilles.

A flower?

[beeping]

I think I found something.

Remember what Mikey said
about watching the cactus

flowers bloom in the desert?

Well, cactus flowers don't
bloom for another three months.

Why would one of my
possible boyfriends-to-be lie?

Teensicle's playing a
concert tonight in London

before they leave for Russia.

Maybe we should
make an appearance.

[cheering wildly]

[banging]

What song is this?

It sounds like "Love
Omelette," their encore number.

Hey!

Thank you, London!

Good night!

What do we do?

[groaning]

It's spy time.

DJ: Help!

Please!
CLOVER: There!

I see him!

I bruise easily!

I'm like a fragile peach
when I'm mishandled!

[gasps]

[crying]

There's too many of them!

We'll never get out
of the way in time!

Quick!

The flavaphones!

That's what I
call wigging out.

Let's take this loser down.

ALL: One, two, three.

[crying]

Daddy, help me!

We're too late!

Curtain call, ladies.

Arg!

Huh?

DJ?

What happened?

Where's the guy who was
trying to kidnap you?

Guy?

What guy?

There's no one in
the elevator but me.

OK, we definitely
saw somebody grab you.

And you were screaming
about being a fragile peach.

I think someone's playing
a little trick on you girls.

I'm fine.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've
got a plane to catch to Russia.

Hello!
Am I here?

Did that just happen?

SAM: Guys, look at this.

Ew!

Sam, don't touch.

I'm just going to
take a sample to scan.

Collagen?

Isn't that the stuff rich
old ladies put in their lips?

So whoever left this pile must
have had really big lips, then.

Not quite.

Check this out.

It's wire!

Something written on the side.

"Starlight Studios."

Hey!

These are posters for Boy Candy.

You know, they might
make a cool tattoo.

I could get all three members
of Boy Candy spread across my--

We'll talk tattoos later.

We don't have much time
before the unity concert.

[muffled yelling]

Who are they?

Oh my gosh!

Their clothes!

Those are the same
outfits Mikey and DJ

were wearing at the concert.

Whoa.

That's not Mikey and DJ.

It is us!

I'm Mikey.

And I'm DJ.

No way!

You're both, like, way old.

You're totally in your 30s.

Somebody stole our faces.

Oh.

Gross.

How can we prove to you
we're telling the truth?

Hm.

Ah.

What's your favorite food?

Mac and cheese.

With chopped hot dogs.

- Ideal girlfriend?
- Smart.

- Modest.
- Makes us laugh.

- Loves animals.
- But prefers dogs.

Because we're
allergic to cats.

It's them!

Um, let me ask you.

Is the cat thing a
real sticking point?

Because, see, I have this little
kitten, but it's really cute.

Clover!

What happened, you guys?

Somebody grabbed
us, knocked us out.

I remember a machine.

A freaky machine.

We got company.

Are those guys wearing
Mikey and DJ's faces?

They've got O-Dog.

Red dreadlocks look familiar.

No way!

That's T-Bone from Boy Candy.

I have to get an autograph!

Alex, if that's
Boy Candy, then it's

a pretty safe bet
they're the ones

stealing Teensicle's faces.

Nuh-uh!

Not Boy Candy!

Maybe they just found the
faces and came to return them.

- Hey!
- [gasps]

[gasps]

Or maybe not.

Time to motor!

ALL: [gasps]

Do you know what the
longevity of a boy band is?

A month, if you're lucky.

After that, they
show you the door.

Wow.

Interesting fun fact.

Does it have a point?

A very fine point.

I'd like you to meet
the Facelifter 5000.

Ew!

I hate needles.

Hate needles?

Hello, how do you think
tattoos are applied?

I thought they ironed on.

Pipe down!

With this device, Boy
Candy's going to get

a second shot at stardom.

Allow me to demonstrate.
- No!

Please!

My manager spent
a fortune getting

my face to look like this.

[gasps]

You will never
get away with it.

Fans will take one look
at your flabby bodies

and know you're a fraud.

Uh-uh.

It's called a body truss.

Boy Candy is back.

And once we perform
at the unity concert,

nothing will be able to stop us.

T-Bone, I want
a young face, too.

You might try
some moisturizer.

And not to be mean,
but you could probably

wax that mustache
while you're at it.

I think I have a better idea.

Grr!

See you in rock
and roll heaven!

I can't believe T-Bone
would do this to me.

Look at my face!

My skin looks like beef jerky.

It'll be OK.

We'll get you a good astringent.

You guys, see if you can
reach your laser lipsticks.

They might be powerful enough
to cut these restraints.

We're gonna have to jump.

Alex, don't forget
the Facelifter thingy.

[phone ringing]

Sam, how is the mission going?

The fate of world unity
depends on Teensicle being

able to perform at the concert.

Well, we got a little
problem with that.

The Teensicle on its way
to Russia are imposters.

We need to get to
the concert fast.

Oh, dear.

Well, in that case, walk up.

ALL: Thanks, Jer!

Papa, are they
not the coolest?

I want my own Teensicle.

Buy me my own Teensicle!

Right after the
show, babushka.

Huh?

What's going on?

Yeah.

They're acting weird.

Yo, get it
together, you idiots!

That's not Teensicle!

AUDIENCE: [jeering]

Papa, someone's
trying to trick us.

Why?

I do not know.

But if they think they can
make a fool out of Russia,

they are mistaken.

I will stop this unity
concert and the unity talks!

What are we going
to do, T-Bone?

Girls, these wannabes seem
to be a little out of shape.

I think they could
use a workout.

Let's give them a quick
lesson in Power Yoga Chi-kwondo.

We call this one Squatting Bear.

[growling]

This one's called
Skipping Goat.

[bleating]

This is called Long Tiger.

[roaring]

By the way, you are so not
my favorite boy band anymore.

Sam, Clover, T-Bone's
getting away!

You save Alex.

I'll take care of the other two.

Oh, no!

[roaring]

Just thought I'd
drop in, say hi.

I think you have something
that belongs to my friend?

AUDIENCE: [cheering]

That's the Teensicle we love!

Yay Teensicle!

We only did it to
be popular again.

To be cool.

No one cares when you're
yesterday's boy band.

Just wanted to be cool.

[phone ringing]

Excellent work, girls.

I've just been informed
that the Russian president

has given his blessings for the
world unity talks to continue.

Hey, Jer?

Now that we've saved
the world again,

you think maybe we
could hang around

and get to know Teensicle?

Mm, no.

But I'll work on an
autographed poster.

David.

Hello, tacky much?

Guys, I feel weird
about being here.

Don't worry.

You're with us.

By the way, you're not
still thinking about getting

a tattoo, are you?

No.

I'm comfortable
with the way I am.

Who cares if I'm not cool?

Um, excuse me!

What are you doing here?

This is a private party.

Hey, let go!

Ah!

Help!

Oh my gosh!

Look at her tattoo!

Her tattoo's fake.

What a poser.

Yeah.

Let's get out of here.

Wait!

Don't go!

I'm just as surprised
as you guys!

The directions on the box
said it was permanent!

Eek!

Can you believe Mandy?

What a fake.

Yeah.

Totally.

Too bad, huh?

I know how you like tattoos.

Me?

Nah.

I'm not really into body
art just to impress people.

That's what I like about you.

You're totally yourself.

Want to get a latteccino?

Soy, no dairy.

I'm kind of doing
the vegan thing.

[gasps]

Uh, yeah.

That would be awesome.

Cool.

Clover, Sam, you guys
want to come, too?

After all, we're all
just friends, right?

Well, y-- yeah, sure.

We're all just friends for now.

[theme music]