02x16 - For the Birds

[bunniefuu]

♪ Something tells me I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was never real. ♪

♪ It seems I've changed a thousand ways, ♪

♪ I wish I looked the way I feel! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

♪ My life is complicated! ♪

♪ Boyfriend! ♪

♪ Don't want to talk about it! ♪

♪ Teenage! ♪

♪ I'll work it out in the end! ♪

♪ Braceface! ♪

Say, "soy cheese!"

"Soy cheese!"

Dad, that's the eighth picture you've taken in four...

...minutes.

Hey-i'm taking as many shots as I can

Before you're all grown up.

But I'm already all grown up.

Yeah. But, to me-

You'll always be my little girl.

Too bad josh and adam were busy.

Yeah...

But it is nice to have you all to myself.

Are sure you won't change your mind

And go back on the road again?

Positive. I'm really sick of not seeing my kids.

Well, we're really sick of not seeing you, too.

Good. 'Cause from now on

You're stuck with me.

Aaaaaa!

Oops! Still glad to have me all to yourself?

Let me think about it.

Hi, there!

Um, hi.

Don't worry, I can walk - honest.

I just dropped my contact lens.

Oh!

Aw, you don't have to do that.

No biggie.

If anyone comes in,

Lets tell them we're the grout inspectors.

Or we could just say nothing

And pretend this is totally normal for us.

(Sigh) I think it's gone for good.

Yeah. Probably.

Wait! Don't move!

Ta da!

Oh, wow! Thanks!

You just saved me from walking into walls

For the rest of the night!

Orange juice?

Yeah.

It's a good colour on you.

You think?

I hope you're not too full for dessert.

Me? Never.

As long as it's carrot cake.

Rich?

Lauren? I don't believe it!

You guys know each other?

For a million years - yeah!

Is this is your daughter?

Yeah, this is sharon.

Boy, do I ever feel old.

Well, you look exactly the same.

Liar.

No, I really mean it. And how's bob?

We split up. Four years ago.

Oh. I'm really sorry to hear that.

Yeah. Griffin took it the hardest-

But he's gotten used to it now.

Good. I remember he was a pretty sensitive kid.

Have you decided on dessert?

I don't know. Dad?

We should get together sometime -

For coffee or something.

Absolutely.

Let's not have another six years go by.

Um, dad?

Sorry?

Have we decided on dessert?

Not yet. Do you mind giving us a minute?

Listen, I didn't mean to interrupt your dinner.

Why don't you call me at the office?

You work at tv3?

In new music programming. It's a lot of fun.

New music programming?

When did you get to be so important?

Trust me, I'm not so important.

It just sounds that way.

She only gets to decide which bands appear on tv.

That's great.

You have to tell me how you got that gig.

It's a funny story, actually.

My interview was supposed to be on a monday but...

Lauren was nice and all that.

But I really wish she would leave.

I didn't want to be selfish

But this was the first time I'd seen my dad in a long time.

And I just wanted him all to my self.

I still don't see why we have to do this.

Look, guys-if you want me to be your manager,

You have to trust me.

Hey-look!

(Sigh)

You're getting there. Keep working on it.

You sure about this?

It's definitely weird.

Maybe. But it will help them on stage.

How?

Sense of rhythm, timing, showmanship,

Hand eye coordination. Lots of ways.

I guess.

I can't believe you talked them into this.

It's for their own good.

Every spare minute for the next three weeks

It's "rock boot camp."

Three weeks?

You sure you're not working them too hard?

Performing is like sports - you gotta train for it.

Boy, you're really taking this manager thing seriously, aren't you?

No point in doing it if I don't try my best.

We're done here.

Rehearsal's in forty-five minutes.

You wanna come?

Can't. My dad's taking us bowling.

You must be so psyched that he's home for good.

I am! We're really making up for lost time.

Yikes!

Nice shirt, dad.

You don't like it?

Sure, we do. It's a great shirt.

Good.

'Cause I got one for each of you!

Aaaaaaaa!

I really have to wear this?

Yup. We're a team, now - the four of us.

Group shot!

Say spitz!

Spitz!

Yes! Did you see that, da - ?!

Who's dad talking to?

I don know.

Oh gutter ball.

And don't eat it all.

I promise nothing.

Hey, guys - an old friend of mine

Just invited us to dinner on saturday.

A musician friend?

No, she's more like a... 'Friend friend'.

She?

Yeah. I think you're all going to like her.

Actually, you already met lauren.

Two weeks ago, remember?

(Gulp) lauren?

Yeah. And she knows a lot of veggie recipes.

But, i, uh have an algebra test on monday.

I'll tell you what, you need to eat anyway,

So let's take a couple of hours for dinner

And then I can come over and help you study.

Yeah. Okay.

Great. I'll let her know.

Lauren the kids are comin'!

I really don't wanna go!

But dad wants us to.

Yeah.

But the question was why?

I wanna get the band some real gigs -

Not just game half-times.

Any ideas?

No, no, no - like this...

Try it again, okay?

Uh, better?

Uh, sure - but keep working on it.

Okay, I kind of got the juggling bit,

But ballet?

More body control will -

Improve their stage presence.

(Gasp) life cycles!

Huh?

Talk to brett and see if he'll do a weekend music night!

With the band!

Great idea!

I'll go talk to him after this.

Do you feel like coming?

I'll treat you to a mango smoothie.

I wish.

But I have to go have dinner with a friend of my dad's.

Is he a fun friend, at least?

She.

And I don't know. I only met her once.

Mmm. Drag.

You'd have more fun with me.

Okay, try this...

I don't see how twirling's gonna help when we're playing.

It won't. I just wanted to see you do it.

(Laugh)

Funny wong. Real funny.

(Doorbell)

Hi! C'mon in.

Josh and adam, right?

Right.

And how you doin', orange juice girl?

Fine.

I hope you're all hungry.

I bought tons of food.

That's my son. Griffin.

Oh. Where is he?

Away at boarding school.

Oh.

(Squawk) fire the drummer! Fire the drummer!

Who's that?

C'mon and meet the rest of my family.

Wow!

Hi, thorndyke!

(Squawk) hellloooooo, cleveland!

Where'd you get him?

Costa rica.

The guys in 'vice grip' gave him to me years ago

When I worked on one of their videos.

Why don't you feed him?

How ya' doin' birdie?

Hey there, thorndyke.

Cool! I'm gonna try eating with my feet!

Yeah right. You hardly know how to use a fork.

So, what do you think? Isn't he adorable?

Doesn't it feel weird to have a pet

That's supposed to be flying around the rainforest?

The bird looks pretty happy to me.

He is!

I even take him to work sometimes!

Hey, thorndyke! What do you say?

Rock'n'rooooollllll! Fire the drummer!

(Laugh)

Hey, what's he got against drummers?

I couldn't believe it.

My dad was taking her side!

It was obvious she was more than just a 'friend friend'.

I talked to brett

And mangled metal is playing their first life cycles gig

Next saturday!

Great.

What's wrong?

That friend I told you about?

She's my dad's new girlfriend.

Really?

Yeah.

You should see the way they look at each other.

Ugh, got it.

It's like older people think we don't have eyes or something.

So, is she really awful?

She's just not... Right for my dad.

Why?

I don't know.

She makes jokes all the time.

Bad jokes?

No. But it does get annoying.

I guess.

And she's got this parrot -

- Which she treats badly?

No. Well, yes. Kind of.

She brought him all the way from costa rica

Just so he can sit on a perch in her apartment.

She even sticks him in her car so she can takes him to work.

What's wrong with that?

At least he doesn't have to sit around by himself all day.

Ugh, you sound like my dad.

He totally agreed with her last night, too.

I'm just surprised her boss doesn't mind.

She is the boss. Kinda. She's a programmer at tv3.

She decides which bands get on tv!

Yeah. So?

So? You can get her to help mangled metal.

I don't even like her -

How can I 'use' her to help the band?

You wouldn't be 'using her',

You'd be making her job easier.

But I don't even want to have anything to do with her.

Why not?

So she makes jokes and has a bird.

Is that really awful?

Look it's bad enough she's around, okay?

Do I have to come up with a good enough reason

Not to like her?

Maria didn't get it. Her parents were together.

So she didn't have to worry about someone butting in

On her relationship with them.

She was my best friend!

Why couldn't she, at least, have tried to understand

How I felt?

Please don't let him spend too much, sharon.

He's still looking for a day job.

I'll try. But you know dad.

I'm so glad you two are getting the chance

To spend time together.

I remember, when you were little

You always tried to stay awake

For when he got home from a gig.

Really? I don't remember.

Well, you were only two.

I was so worried you weren't getting enough sleep.

And now you can see him whenever you want.

Yeah.

(Car honks)

See you later!

Have fun!

(Sigh)

What do you think?

Is it me?

Oh! I love it!

This would look great on you!

I think it's too... Orange.

Really? I don't think so.

How about you?

Looks good to me.

Two outta three.

Try it on - just so we can see what you look like.

You look amazing!

I really like it!

Okay, so the top looked good.

But did lauren have to be so pushy about it?

Ah hem.

Excuse me.

We've been waiting for a while?

The cashier really shouldn't have kept us waiting

But I wish lauren hadn't been so rude about it.

(Sniff) yum. What is that smell?

Hot pretzels.

Over there.

Sounds good. Anyone else want one?

Sure.

No, thanks.

Aren't you glad she came?

I never would've spotted that shirt.

Mmm. Me neither.

That's what I mean.

She's got a really good eye.

I guess.

But I'm kinda used to picking out my own clothes.

You did pick it.

No one forced you into getting it.

Not forced, exactly.

But she was kinda pushy about it.

Nah. She was just excited, that's all.

She gets like that sometimes.

Right.

I was kind of embarrassed about the cashier, though.

Why?

Don't you think lauren was pretty rude to her?

Rude? We'd still be there, waiting,

If she hadn't said something.

Yeah, but.

So? What'd I miss?

Nothing much.

I got an extra one just in case you change your mind.

Thanks.

It was obvious my dad

Wasn't going to change his mind about lauren-

No matter what I said.

I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

I warned you not to listen to me.

I can't tell if it's unspeakably hideous

Or fabulously great.

What do you think?

It's okay.

Good enough for me.

(Phone rings)

Hello?

Are you still mad at me?

What's that noise?

The guys are blowing up balloons

To help increase their lung capacity.

Right. Hold on a sec.

I'll catch up in a minute, okay?

I wasn't really mad. I was just frustrated.

Okay. Are you still frustrated?

Yeah.

I went shopping with my dad and he brought lauren along.

Really?

And I thought we were going to spend the day alone together.

Well since you're stuck with her anyway,

Could you put in a good word for the band?

Maria!

What's the problem?

I didn't say you have to like her!

Okay, now I am mad-

You've totally not heard a word I've said!

Yes, I have. You said-

I have to go.

(Squawk)

Hey thorn, did you miss me?

Rock'n'roll!

Just dump everything on the couch.

What's he doing?

Exercising his wings.

Anyone want some fruit?

But why? Don't you let him fly around sometimes?

He can't. His wings are clipped.

What?

It's okay, sharon.

It didn't hurt him.

What do you mean? He can't fly!

It's not permanent. The feathers grow back.

So, why do it in the first place?

Safety.

I don't want him flying into the windows

And hurting himself.

He wouldn't hurt himself

If he was flying around in the jungle!

Sharon, it's okay.

It's normal to clip parrots' wings.

It just has to be done properly, that's all.

How can you say that?

Birds are supposed to fly. That's what's normal.

And just because people do something

It doesn't make it okay!

Like it's not okay to take him away from his family

And stick him on a plane to bring him here-

Where he must have been totally terrified-

And then never let him go outside!

I understand how you feel, sharon, I really do.

But I'm not the one who took him out of the jungle.

I would never do that.

But I did put him on a plane to bring him here.

What else could I do?

By the time I got him,

It was too late to send him back to the wild.

Why?

Because he's been domesticated,

If were in the jungle now he wouldn't be able to get his own food.

Or know how to defend himself against other animals.

And if I didn't take him

Who knows were he would have ended up.

At least here he's safe and happy.

Honey-look at him. He's fine.

You're just taking her side. Like you always do.

Sharon!

Hey.

I don't really wanna talk right now, okay?

Okay. We'll just walk quietly for a while.

Look, why can't you just leave me alone?

Because.

Because why?

Because I'm your dad.

For the rest of my life, I'll never leave you alone.

Whether lauren's in the picture or not.

(Crying)

Promise?

I promise.

I wasn't gonna lose my dad,

I was just gonna have to share him.

People shouldn't buy exotic birds

But lauren didn't buy thorndyke

And I had to admit she really did love him

And take good care of him.

Which meant that I was sharing my dad with someone

Who wasn't really all that bad.

Hey.

Hey.

Sorry about hanging up on you. I just-

No, you don't have to explain. I totally get it.

I'm really sorry for pressuring you.

It wasn't just you. It was... Everything.

I know.

And it's cool about the band.

If you ever get to like lauren

And feel okay about giving her a tape, fine.

If not, don't worry about it.

Well, I think I may actually get to like her.

Eventually.

Really? What'd she do?

Nothing.

I just have to get used to her as my dad's girlfriend,

That's all.

You want a hand with that?

Sure.

How come the guys aren't helping?

They're kinda tired.

I think I might've worked them too hard.

(Laughs)