02x12 - Lorenza

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I've been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It's seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don't want to talk about it

♪ Teenage

♪ I'll work it out in the end

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don't want to talk about it

♪ Teenage

♪ I'll work it out in the end

♪ Braceface

♪

ALYSON: Six!

I have, like, six dollars.

Do I hear $6.50?

$6.50!

I have a bid of $6.50 on this

fine specimen of a butler.

Do I hear seven dollars?

Seven!

I've got seven.

Do I hear $7.50?

Here's 50 cents.

Just do it!

MARIA: $7.50!

$7.50 once, twice...

Sold!

(Cheering)

All right!

Adam is ours!

Next we have Isaac, whose

specialties include shovelling

snow and making homemade pizza.

Let's start the bidding!

You should get a butler too,

Sharon.

It'll be fun!

Bid on Isaac.

I wouldn't advise it.

I'm bidding on Isaac, and I'm

feeling very charitable today.

You do know this is supposed

to benefit the athletic council,

not your social life?

No reason it can't do both.

Did everyone do this badly on

the history test?

Nina got an A, as usual.

Don't ask me how she does it.

She never cracks a book.

NINA: So, Isaac...

Are you going to wear some cute

white butler gloves on Saturday,

or does that cost extra?

Gag.

Cute guys, good grades.

I guess whatever Nina wants,

Nina gets.

Not much we can do about it.

Well, I know one thing Nina's

not going to get.

And that's the best history mark

at the end of the year.

Let's go back to my place and

start our make-up assignments.

Yuck, La Jalapeno is getting

really sloppy with their trash.

Or maybe this is your mess.

What are you doing here,

sweetie?

There's a good girl.

The owner must be around

somewhere.

I don't see anybody.

Hello?

Is anyone missing a dog?

You again?

Oh!

Why can't you pick on someone

else's garbage?

Excuse me, but do you know

who she belongs to?

No, but when I find out, I'm

going to make them do this.

Go on!

Anda!

Go away!

(Growling)

Don't scare her!

It's okay, we'll take her

somewhere.

(Speaking Spanish)

What do you mean, we'll take

her somewhere?

What about our history

assignments?

She needs us.

Better take her to the animal

shelter.

(Barking)

SHARON: Come on, girl, come

here.

She's not the cutest dog I've

ever seen.

That wart on her nose reminds me

of my great-aunt Lorenza.

(Giggling)

Maria, not nice.

What?

She jokes about it.

She says it helps her win at

bingo.

Some people have lucky charms.

Aunt Lorenza has a lucky wart.

(Barking)

Let's hope it's lucky for the

dog, too.

Should we call her Lorenza?

Why not?

(Barking)

(Dogs barking)

SHARON: So is she okay?

Basically.

But she's very thin and she has

some scars.

She's had a hard life.

I guess it's a good thing we

brought her in.

Now somebody can adopt her,

right?

I hope so.

But, to be honest, girls, her

chances for adoption aren't

great.

She's no puppy any more.

What's gonna happen to her?

Well, if no one claims or

adopts her, we'll have to put

her to sleep in a week or two.

You mean you'd have to k*ll

her?

To put it bluntly, yes.

Thanks to people who don't spay

or neuter their animals, we are

constantly overcrowded.

We just don't have room to keep

them forever.

That's terrible.

I'd love to keep her, but our

condo doesn't allow pets.

I'll take her.

And if someone comes looking for

her in the next few days, that's

great.

You can give them my info.

But if no one claims her, do

you think you'd want to adopt

her?

No problem.

There's always room for one more

at my house.

Sharon, what were you

thinking?

After we got Roxie, we all

agreed that three cats and two

dogs are enough.

(Barking and meowing)

(Crashing)

MOM: Ugh, more than enough.

The dog can stay until Sunday,

Sharon.

That should give her owner

enough time to come forward.

But if they don't, you'll have

to find her a home somewhere

else.

But, Mom--

Or you can take her back to

the shelter tonight.

No!

Thanks, Mrs. Spitz.

JOSH: Aw, yuck!

Lorenza pooped on my jacket.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

ADAM: So, Isaac, how's it

feel to be worth 20 bucks?

I've got a feeling I'm going

to earn it.

Nina is your biggest fan.

Think you can fend her off for a

whole day?

No problem.

Worry about yourself, Adam.

Wong's going to butler you into

the ground on Saturday.

Nah, she's my kid sister's

best friend.

She'll go easy on me.

Sure she will.

Hey, I'll make you a bet.

Whoever lasts longer springs for

lunch at Life Cycles.

All right, you're on.

SHARON: I can't believe no

one claimed her.

She's got such a cute, uh...

ADAM: Personality?

Yes!

So who's Isaac bringing to meet

Lorenza?

You think it's someone we know?

Does it matter?

They want a dog.

She needs a home.

Sounds like a match.

It was so sweet of you to

remember that I said I wanted a

dog.

After I get one, maybe we can

have doggy playdates with you

and Bogart.

Nina is the person who wants

a dog?

That's ridiculous!

What's so ridiculous about

it?

Because there's actual effort

involved in having a dog.

There's nothing glamorous about

trimming their nails, walking

them in the rain, or scooping

poop.

You should be grateful to

give a dog to somebody like me,

Braceface.

I have everything to offer.

Here she is.

Miss America.

(Barking)

That's the dog?

You've got to be kidding.

She isn't even a purebred.

I can't go home with that.

I'm sure Lorenza feels the

same way about you.

(Barking)

NINA: Yeah, look.

She hates my guts.

Okay, don't look at me like

that.

One belly rub coming right up.

You know, Sharon, they say dogs

are great judges of character.

Obviously this dog isn't.

Sorry.

I think Sharon's getting a

little attached.

No worries, Adam.

I'll see you later.

I know what your Saturday

butlering's going to be.

You are going to help me find a

beautiful purebred dog.

(Sighing)

You're the boss.

SHARON: Hi, Mom.

Hi, kids.

(Barking)

Hi, Lorenza.

I was really hoping that whoever

you were meeting would like her.

ADAM: She did like the dog.

It was Sharon who was being

picky.

What are you talking about?

You heard Nina.

She only wanted a purebred.

It was so obvious that all she

wanted was an excuse to hang out

with Isaac so they could walk

their dogs together.

Sharon, don't forget our

deal.

You only have until Sunday to

find her a home.

After that, she's going back to

the shelter.

Yeah, I got that memo.

Speaking of memos, here's a

phone message for you, Adam.

From Maria.

She wants me over there at

eight in the morning?

But she only paid $7.50 for me!

(Chuckling)

Well, these ones are better

news.

There were a few calls about

that ad you put up, Sharon.

I'll bet one of these people is

just perfect for Lorenza.

SHARON: Okay, so here's my

plan.

If we're interviewing somebody

and I don't want to give Lorenza

to them, I'll give you a nudge,

and you throw a fit about me

giving away your beloved dog.

I'm not doing that.

Mom sent me to make sure you're

not being way too picky.

I'm not being picky.

I read that there are people out

there who answer ads like mine

and then sell the dogs to labs

who do horrible testing on them.

Really?

Yes, it happens.

My parents think my room

needs a tidy.

Try a shovel.

Well, I'll leave the method

to you.

I'll be in the den working on my

history paper.

Later, Jeeves.

(Cell phone ringing)

Hello?

How you doing, pal?

I thought you might need a

wakeup call.

Or are you already on the job?

I'll be seeing you at Life

Cycles, Rosenberg.

And don't forget, I have a big

appetite.

"Star sounds: a souvenir of

Maria Wong's evening of

karaoke?"

♪ Yo, I got the funk

♪ I got the groove

♪ Pick it up, pick it up

♪ Everybody move

♪ Shake it up and down

Ooh, Maria's got the funk.

♪ M-M-Maria

NINA: Ooh, they're adorable.

They even match my hair!

Not very affectionate, are they?

(Sighing)

If you don't like these, then

let's try the animal shelter.

But I want a purebred.

They have purebreds there

too.

Some people get a dog as an

accessory, Nina.

Then they get bored of it.

That's fascinating.

So who's the next breeder on the

list?

(Cell phone ringing)

Hello?

ADAM: How's it going with Her

Royal Highness?

ISAAC : Piece of cake.

We're playing with puppies!

Why?

Are you ready to quit, Adam?

Ha!

You kidding?

I'm lounging by the pool.

Adam, you're not on break.

You're supposed to be timing me.

Whoops, duty calls.

People have rotten reasons

for wanting this dog.

This one girl wanted to give

Lorenza to her boyfriend as a

present.

JOSH: Because she couldn't

afford an iguana.

And she doesn't even know if

he likes dogs!

All the other people were just

as bad.

Sharon, I don't think Maria's

condo allows dogs in here.

You'd better leave Lorenza

outside.

(Barking)

I'll be back in a few

minutes.

(Barking)

Ow!

Ow!

Thanks, cabana boy.

Please stop calling me that.

I'm so bummed, Maria.

There isn't anyone I could

possibly give her to, and my

time is almost up.

Oh, that's rough.

Can I help you put up some more

ads or something?

Thanks, but there's tons of

them up already.

Would it cheer you up to come

to the tennis club with us?

I scored some free day passes.

No, you guys go ahead.

I think I'll just hang out with

Lorenza.

SHARON NARRATING: Maybe my

standards were too high.

I mean, maybe the iguana guy

really liked dogs.

Nothing could be worse than

sending Lorenza back to the

shelter.

(Gasping)

Almost nothing.

Lorenza?

Lorenza!

Would a Dalmatian be too

trendy?

Okay, that's it.

We're done.

What are you talking about?

There's four more kennels on

my list.

Why bother?

None of the dogs are special

enough for you anyway.

But you're supposed to butler

me all day!

SHARON: Nina!

Have you seen Lorenza?

Yes, and she's ugly.

I mean today.

No, why?

Never mind.

Don't tell me you lost her!

She's not lost.

She's just loose.

Are you crazy?

It's dangerous to let a dog run

around loose.

Why do you care?

I... don't!

Well, I do, so if you'll

excuse me, I have a dog to find.

(Crashing)

Some dog expert.

You don't even know where to

look, do you?

Wrong.

I know exactly where I'm going

to find Lorenza.

Oh, this I have to see.

Ugh!

She must have been here.

The garbage is ripped open

again.

So I smell.

Excuse me, but have you seen

that little black dog today?

She kind of got away from me,

and--

Ah, so it's your dog!

Why can't you keep your dog out

of our trash?

(Speaking Spanish)

(Speaking Spanish)

(Speaking Spanish)

(Speaking Spanish)

What was that all about?

I told him that if he kept

the garbage in proper cans, dogs

wouldn't get into it.

He said he saw a dog go over to

the park, so let's go.

What?

My family has a condo in

Acapulco.

Wait a minute.

You like her.

Pardon me?

Lorenza.

You like her.

Why else are you helping me

search?

Please.

I'd feel sorry for any dog that

had to depend on you to find it.

Come on, I don't have all day.

(Dogs barking)

There, listen!

She's in the trees!

Are you sure?

Positive.

Have you got some dog

biscuits or something?

Sure, but I don't thing

she'll come to you.

She knows me.

Lorenza, look what we've got

for you.

I see someone's little black

tail...

(Barking)

(Screaming)

Down, boy!

Stay!

Charlie, stop!

Down, boy!

Uh, you're welcome.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you girls all right?

It's okay.

We're okay.

Speak for yourself,

Braceface!

I'm muddy, I'm freezing, and

this is all your fault!

You're right.

It is.

NINA: Taxi.

Taxi!

Tax--

Can't you see I have a gold

card?

No taxi's going to pick us

up.

We're filthy.

I'll try my brother again.

Hey, Adam!

Keep that hopper filled up!

Still no answer.

I guess we walk.

Walk?

I'll get pneumonia.

Lorenza's stuck outside too

somewhere.

(Sighing)

My place is closer.

Let's go.

I'll go crank up the heat.

Try not to drip.

You've got some nice dog

stuff.

NINA: I know.

I'm going to get my parents to

re-fence the yard too.

Come on, I switched on the

fireplace.

I've been thinking about this

dog thing for a while now.

My parents are away a lot, so

the house can feel kind of empty

sometimes.

I mean, it's not like I'm lonely

or anything.

My friends are over here

constantly.

But it might be nice to have a

dog around.

For the in-between times.

(Cell phone ringing)

Hello?

Did you lose someone?

SHARON: Yes!

How did you know?

Lorenza's been hanging out

with my neighbour, Mr. McGillis,

all day.

Adam's taking her home now.

They found Lorenza!

I better go.

(Sighing)

ADAM: Watch this.

This is really cool.

Did you teach her that?

(Barking)

There you are.

You had me so worried!

MOM: Sharon, the boys and I

were talking, and it seems we're

not entirely opposed to having a

third dog.

Seriously?

You'd let me keep her?

(Doorbell ringing)

I'll get it.

I certainly had my doubts at

first, but Lorenza's really

fitting in now.

Who wants a belly rub, you?

You do, you!

A-cootchie-cootchie-coo!

Hi, Mrs. Spitz.

I'm sorry to intrude.

Sharon forgot her scarf at my

place.

I was just returning it.

Oh, right.

Thanks.

I'm glad you found Lorenza.

Me too.

Safe and sound.

I think she is lucky after all.

Yeah.

Well, I should probably go.

Wait, you forgot something

too.

You want me to take her?

SHARON: She needs a good

home, and you did almost catch

pneumonia looking for her.

And she's crazy about you, so...

I'd really appreciate it if

you'd take her.

I guess maybe I could do

that.

SHARON NARRATING: Yes, Nina

can be selfish and petty.

But what would I be if I kept

the dog just so Nina couldn't

have her?

Lorenza might just be the only

one who loves Nina more than

Nina loves Nina.

And who am I to argue with

love?

(Giggling)

NINA: Here's your mineral

water, Lorenza.

MARIA: You had all weekend to

do the makeup assignment.

Why did you wait until the last

minute?

I was busy with Lorenza,

remember?

I can't believe you ended up

giving her to Nina.

She'll probably train her to

carry her makeup bag or

something.

SHARON: I think Nina's the

one getting trained.

How could you ever think I'd

be a worse boss than Nina?

I truly misjudged you, Maria,

and I'm sorry.

That's why I'm treating you and

your butler to lunch.

Apology accepted.

Come on, you were kind of a

tyrant.

What about that cabana boy

thing?

If I were Adam, I'd be out for

revenge.

Please, I'm far too mature.

Besides, it was only one day.

The shortest butlering career in

history.

Which would make this our

retirement party, wouldn't it?

You're right.

But it's way too quiet in here

for a party.

We need some tunes!

Um, what are you guys talking

about?

♪ Yo, I got the funk

♪ I got the groove

♪ Pick it up, pick it up

♪ Everybody move

♪ Shake it up and down so

everyone can see ya ♪

♪ Let me here you say my name

♪ M-M-Maria

Where'd you get that?

Turn it off!

I was 11!

It was Grandpa Pepe's 70th

birthday!

His idea of a good time!

I would never have done it!

Adam!

(Adam and Isaac laughing)

♪