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01x22 - Camp Kookalah

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Braceface". Aired: June 2, 2001 – September 1, 2004.*
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The show, set in Elkford, British Columbia, depicts the travails of a teenaged Sharon Spitz, who is a junior high school student with braces that get in the way of leading a normal teenage life.

01x22 - Camp Kookalah

Post by bunniefuu »



(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah



♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

(Clapping)

SPEAKER: Jake Morrenstein.

Jessica Ostrum.

Olga Peterson.

Barbara Polichek.

SHARON: Graduation

day.

All week my parents have

been going on about what a

momentous occasion this is.

And all week I thought, "Give

me a break!"

SPEAKER: Sharon Spitz.

SHARON: You know what?

They were right.

This is huge.

A major turning point, in our

lives.

(Flash popping)



I can’t wait.

Two months at computer camp.

The high school computer club

will be begging me to be their

president.

Oh, Connor, you’re a true

techno-weenie.

Thank you.

Anyone want something to

drink?

Can you believe we’re going

to be in high school, next year?

I know!

(Giggling)

Girls, look what I found in

the attic.

My old junior high year book.

(Coughing)

Cute Mom, whose the other

girl?

Marsha Lipinski, we were

best friends, inseparable.

Just like you two.

So how come I’ve never heard

of her?

Well, Marsha was more

sophisticated then I was.

When we started high school,

she met some new friends, and we

went our separate ways.

Richard, look at this!

That would never happen to

us.

Not in a million years.

Why are we even thinking

about high school?

You’re right, we’ve got six

whole weeks of camp Kookalah

first!

Remember last summer, when we

covered the hole in the C-I-T

outhouse with plastic wrap?

Eww, gross!

Or, when we moved all the

furniture from the staff lounge

onto the beach?

Or when we finally found

Orion?

This summer’s going to be so

cool.

You bet.

SHARON: Camp Kookalah.

Maria and I had spent the last

five summers there and every

summer was better than the one

before it.

ALL: ♪ Camp Kookalah, Camp

Kookalah ♪

♪ Where the summers past fast

♪ Camp Kookalah, Camp Kookalah

where the food gives us gas ♪

SHARON: And this summer was

going to be the best of all.

ALL: ♪ Camp Kookalah, Camp

Kookalah ♪

♪ Where to do our best we

strive ♪

♪ Camp Kookalah, Camp Kookalah

where the bugs eat us alive ♪

(Birds chirping)

And last, but not least, in

cabin 8, the senior girls

cabin, Rachel Gerwitz, Sally

Goldstein, Edie Jones, Carlotta

Patronelli, and Maria Wong.

Excuse me, uh, Ms. Jenkins?

My name wasn’t called.

I’m supposed to be in cabin 8.

Ah, yes, Sharon Spitz, follow

me.

A consular in training backed

out at the last minute, broke

her ankle, we need a replacement

C-I-T and your are first

choice.

Me?

But I thought I couldn’t be a

C-I-T until next summer.

Well, your birthday’s earlier

than the other girls so you

qualify.

What do you say?

I don’t know.

It’s your choice, of course,

but it’s a great opportunity.

I’ll need an answer soon,

though.

SHARON: It was a

great opportunity.

As a C-I-T, I get to sleep in

a nicer cabin, and use the

consular’s lounge, go to their

party.

But, it also meant that Maria

and I would spend way less time

together.

She’d be a camper and I’d

almost be staff.

But our friendship was strong

enough to survive that, right?

I can’t wait to check out the

new cedar strip canoes.

I can’t wait to check out the

new boys.

You haven’t changed, Sally,

still a one track mind.

I’m kind of saving that one for

Sharon, she should be here any

minute.

Uh, no problem.

(Sniffing)

This one’s less mouldy, anyway.

I wonder who our councillor

is?

I’m happy with anyone, as

long as it’s not Corporal Carol.

Uh, please no.

Attention!

Girls, where are your life

jackets?!

The rules state that a camper

must have a life jacket on at

all times!

Uh, but Corporal Carol, is

that only when we’re on water?

(Laughing)

How dare you talk back to me!

Have mercy Corporal Carol.

Someone mention my name?

As some of you may know, I’m

Carol.

I’ve been assigned to your cabin

this year.

(Groaning)

And we’ll all get along fine, if

you obey the rules.

Now, as you know, each

councillor mentors a C-I-T, who

helps with the lessons and fills

in for us on our days off.

So, give a warm welcome to your

Councillor in training, Sharon

Spitz.

I thought we’d be C-I-Ts

next year, together.

So did I, but how could I

turn them down?

You couldn’t.

I would have done the same thing

in your shoes.

Besides, we’ll still spend tons

of time together.

Hey!

At least your stinky feet

will be stinking up a different

cabin, this year.

I do not have stinky feet!

BOYS: Bath time!

(Screaming)

(Giggling)

Look at them, they think they

are so clever.

Jordy Akins, tipped my canoe,

I think he likes me.

(Groaning)

Hey Sharon, saved you a spot.

Oh, that’s okay, I’m supposed

to sit at the staff table.

Oh, hey, no problem.

Everyone, this is Sharon.

Sharon, this is everyone.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, I’m Janice, C-I-T for

cabin three.

As I was saying the bald

eagle award is presented to each

year to the best C-I-T to

recognize excellent leadership

skills.

We all get to vote, right?

Of course, positive

recognition from our peers is

what it’s all about.

My C-I-T’s have won three

years in a row.

Stick with me, and you’ll bag

yourself a fine, little trophy.

It’s about aim and

concentration.

Sharon take over for a minute,

I’ve got to go to the can.

Sure thing.

It’s like Carol says, it’s about

aim.

You’re elbow’s sticking out.

See, it should be closer to your

body, like this--

I think I know what I’m

doing, thanks.

(Groaning)

You shouldn’t show me up like

that!

I wasn’t showing you up.

I was trying to stop you from

losing a foot!

It’s embarrassing to have a

camper point stuff out to a

C-I-T

(Groaning)

Oh, so now I’m a camper.

Funny, I thought I was a friend!

If I don’t prove I’m a good

leader, I’ll never win the bald

eagle award.

So what?

Have you seen that thing?

It looks more like a bald

pigeon.

You wouldn’t understand.

You’ve won so many trophies,

your dad had to build a special

cabinet for them.

I’ve never won anything in my

life.

Oh, okay, sorry.

Look, why don’t you drop by our

cabin tonight?

We’re going to see who can tell

the scariest ghost story.

The first one to make somebody

pee their pants wins!

I can’t, there’s a party

tonight.

Cool, I’ll go with you.

Sorry, it’s just for

councillors and C-I-Ts and it

starts after curfew.

Well, then, have fun.

And two of my campers are

already wearing their hair like

mine!

I mean they’re sweet but so

juvenile.

Tell me about it.

My cabin wanted me to tell ghost

stories tonight, like, grow up.

Aren’t you just a few months

older than them?

What a difference a few days

makes, huh?

Some people are just born

more mature than others.

My mom says I’ve always acted

like a forty year old.

I can’t believe we have to

have the lights out at nine!

What a joke!

ALL: Raid!

What a world!

Get lost!

Jordy, if that’s you, I’m

gonna get you!

Turn on the lights.

Turn on the lights!

(Gasping)

Those jerks!

What?!

Oh, my goodness!

No!

I’m so embarrassed!

I don’t believe it!

What the boys did was

immature, stupid, lame, but this

is my last summer here.

I have a spotless record, and I

intend to keep it that way, so

that means no retaliation.

(Groaning)

Do I make myself clear?

Aye, aye Corporal.

The guys make the mess and we

have to clean it.

We’re going to have to spend

the whole day getting that stuff

off.

(Gasping, screaming)

That’s my training bra!

And my Thursday undies.

Undies!

(Giggling, laughing)

They can’t get away with

this!

Okay, we’ll have to be really

careful.

Careful about what?

It’s okay, she’s my best

friend.

After Carol’s asleep tonight,

we’re going on a raid of our

own!

Make the boys pay!

Are you sure that’s a good

idea?

No.

It’s a great idea!

Besides, we’re not asking you

to come.

But you heard Carol.

Carol, didn’t have to pull

her undies down from the ceiling

in front of the entire camp!

If the guys did that to our

cabin, I would totally seek

revenge.

And that’s why you won’t win

the bald eagle award.

You can’t really blame the

campers wanting to get back at

the guys, can you?

Sharon, I know you’re friends

with Maria and I know you want

the campers to like you.

But, if you have to choose, it’s

more important for them to

respect you.

I guess.

Guide with a firm hand and

play by the rules and you’ll do

great.

Trust me.

SHARON: Nobody told me that

becoming a leader would be so

complicated.

Did I really have to choose

between impressing the staff

and keeping my friends.

(Clicking)

Shh, be quiet!

Ow, my foot!

Shh, quiet.

(Door squeaking)

Let me guess, you all had a

sudden urge to pee.

Back inside, now!

Thanks for the tip off.

Sharon?!

Maria!

Wait up!

(Panting)

Look, I’m sorry, okay?

But it was my duty as a C-I-T to

tell.

No, it was your duty as a

friend to keep your mouth shut!

But at least I get it now,

you’re not a friend.

Maria wait, argh!

SHARON: I could feel their

hatred.

It pulsated.

Couldn’t they understand I had

responsibilities?

Traitor.

Hey, here’s my number one

C-I-T.

My campers were going to go on a

little raid, ’till Sharon tipped

me off.

Have fun being in charge.

Where are you going?

It’s my day off, remember?

I won’t be back until tomorrow

morning.

You tattled on your cabin?

I wouldn’t call it tattling,

exactly.

Aren’t you afraid they’ll get

you back?

No, there not that petty.

(Laughing)

Ow!

Ah!

Ow!

You backed my bag for me?

Thanks, guys.

Wait for me!

(Laughing)

(Groaning)

SHARON: Okay, so maybe I

deserved all the punishment

they gave me.

But, at least now we could say

we were even and start fresh.

Hey guys, what’s up?

It’s an anonymous list rating

the councillors and C-I-Ts

posted by some of the campers,

obviously.

Worst C-I-T, Sharon Spitz.

I wouldn’t take it too

seriously, I mean, they can hate

you all summer.

Oh, I hate tapioca!

Why do camps serve tapioca,

like, four times a week?

It’s like eating a bowl of

fish eyes.

Okay, guys.

You have every right to be mad

at me, but can we please move

on?

(Farting noise)

(Laughing, giggling)

SHARON: I couldn’t sleep.

I was so mad at Maria for

making my life miserable.

Mostly, I was mad at myself for

wrecking things to begin with.

At that moment, I would have

done anything to change things

back to the way they were.

And that’s when it came to me!

I knew just what I had to do.

Wakey, wakey!

Rise and shine!

Come on, get a move on!

(Groaning)

We don’t have all night.

Hey!

Don’t just lie there, get

dressed.

What do you think you’re

doing?

It’s not what I’m doing, it’s

what we’re doing.

Fine, what are we doing?

We’re going on a raid.

What about Carol?

Carol, isn’t due back until

tomorrow morning.

This is so exciting!

Sharon, I know what you’re

trying to do.

Do you?

And maybe we’ve gone

overboard, the way we’ve been

treating you.

Maybe?

But if we get caught, we just

get yelled at.

If you get caught, you could get

kicked out.

Then I guess we don’t get

caught.

What are we doing here?

Gathering supplies.

Edie, you stand guard.

Spaghetti, grab as many as you

can carry.

Get the vegetable dye?

We took all the red we could

find.

Let’s move out.

Here we are.

Senior boys are in Cabin 12.

Do we go in yelling and

screaming?

No, we’re going to be as

quiet as mice.

You won’t even know we’ve been

here.

Until they get up in the

morning.

Of course, we’ll be the first

ones suspected, but, if no one

ever sees us, how can pin it on

us?

Excellent.

So, here’s what we’re gonna

do.

I can’t wait to see their

faces when they get up in the

morning.

They’re gonna freak!

(Laughing)

You know, Sharon, you’re

really not so bad after all.

Actually, you’re pretty cool.

I’ve been really mean to you.

Yeah, you have but I kind of

deserved it.

I never, ever, should have told

on you.

You’re my best friend, well, you

were my best friend.

I am your best friend.

You are?

When they made you C-I-T, I

was, I don’t know, kind of

jealous, I guess.

I started thinking that maybe

you’re like your mom’s old

friend.

Maybe you are more mature than

me.

Me, more mature than you?

Well, I did stick a whoopee

cushion in your sleeping bag.

Yeah, but I gave you that

whoopee cushion.

When was it, fourth grade?

I can’t believe you brought it!

(Giggling, laughing)

Okay guys, we can either

stick to the woods or take the

camp road, what do you say?

I’m getting eaten alive in

the woods and no one will be on

the road at this time of night

anyway, right?

The road it is.

Car!

Quick in the ditch!

(Gasping)

Carol, back so soon from your

day off?

Spitz, you are toast!

SHARON: Great.

Maria and I had made up just in

time for me to get kicked out

of Camp Kookalah forever.

SHARON: It was totally

depressing.

Just when I could have started

having a great summer again, I

was going to be sent home on a

bus.

Sharon, come on in.

Well?

They’re giving me a second

chance.

That’s great!

They said that they were

going to send me home but then

a camper put in a few good

words.

That you have been you, right?

You’re a good C-I-T, Sharon.

Yeah, well, something tells

me I won’t be getting the bald

eagle award.

Oh, so what?

Here’s something better.

Sharon Spitz, I hereby

present you with the best friend

award.

Thanks, I always wanted a

nice rock.

What more could a girl ask

for?

No way!!!

How’d they do it?

Ah!

Ah!

Something tells me the senior

boys have woken up!

It’s pink!

Everything is pink!

Hey, Sharon, come sit with

us.

Sorry, guys, I’m going to sit

with my cabin from now on.

SHARON: Suddenly, all the

perks of being a C-I-T didn’t ’

matter.

I was just glad to have my best

friend back.

If we could survive this

summer, I was positive that we

could survive anything.

(Laughing)

Aw, man, I look like my

sister.

SHARON: But for now, it just

felt good to be tickled pink!