01x13 - Miami Vices

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I’ve changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

♪

(Cat meowing)

Shhh!

SHARON, NARRATING: My mom had

rules for everything, and

sometimes I thought she had

eyes on the back of her head!

It’s almost dinnertime,

Sharon!

If you fill up on sweets you’ll

ruin your appetite.

But I’m hungry!

How ’bout an apple?

I don’t want one.

Then are you really hungry?

(Sighing)

Lawrence, remind me to get a

new mother!

SHARON, NARRATING: And did I

mention chores?

It was like living in junior

boot camp!

This is the 21st century!

Why aren’t you self cleaning

yet?

Looking good, sweetie!

Don’t forget to vacuum the

living room!

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

You so have to get down here.

The slopes are awesome!

I can’t go anywhere.

Today’s national big clean day

in the Spitz house!

The only fun I’m gonna have is

sucking up dust ba*ls under the

sofa!

Are you ready to vacuum,

Sharon!

What do you think?

You’re supposed to be dusting

the piano, not playing it.

I’m dusting the keys!

I’m sure they’re gleaming.

Now, do the top.

(Sneezing)

I don’t feel so good!

It’s all the dust.

Aren’t you glad we’re getting

rid of it?

Ecstatic!

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

Hear that?

(Seagulls squawking)

The sound of the ocean!

Dad?

Yeah, did I tell you I’m by

the ocean?

Ha, so let me get this

straight, you’re by the ocean?

Yeah, here I am in the middle

of my cross country tour, and I

miss you guys like crazy!

We miss you too!

I was hoping you’d say that!

Feel like coming out for a few

days?

My treat!

No way!

When?

This long weekend!

I have to work, but at least we

can spend some time together.

I just have to clear it with

your mom.

Oh, right!

SHARON, NARRATING: I knew

she’d say no.

It was probably garage

neatening day or something!

I’ve given this careful

consideration.

You know how I feel about you

kids having a routine and

sticking to it.

SHARON, NARRATING: There it

was, the big letdown!

On the other hand, you’re all

pretty responsible.

SHARON, NARRATING: No sun...

no seeing my dad...

I was stuck in the snow with my

drill sergeant mom!

So, as long as you keep up

with your homework and stay out

of trouble, you can go!

Aww, mom, that’s so not fair!

You don’t want to go to

Miami?

Huh?

She said yes, doofus!

(Screaming)

(Sneezing)

My head feels hot!

Oh, dear, you’re burning up!

You can’t go to Florida with the

flu!

SHARON, NARRATING: I felt

really bad for Josh.

I did!

But luckily, my dad let me

bring Maria instead!

It’ll be amazing!

My dad’s so cool, we’ll be able

to do whatever we want!

Yeah, like scuba diving and

rollerblading!

Not like my mom!

I’m so sick of rules, curfews,

and chore wheels!

I just can’t take it anymore!

Yeah, but your mom’s cool

too.

Not like my mom!

I can’t tell her anything!

Whatever...

You want to know something?

(Screaming on TV)

Lately, I’ve been wondering what

it would be like to live with my

dad!

(Booming)

♪

♪

We’ve been waiting 15

minutes.

You sure he’s coming?

You know he’s always late!

I gave up getting him watches

for his birthday.

He’s kept losing ’em!

Hey, guys!

Anybody here need a ride?

(Laughing)

We are gonna have the best

time!

♪

(Splashing)

♪

(Screaming)

Can we go again?

Sure, but first, we need

cotton candy!

Ugh, we’re having dinner

soon!

You think it’s a good idea to

fill up on sweets?

Hey, you’re on vacation!

Relax!

Poor Adam.

He’s so used to my mom’s

gazillion rules, he doesn’t even

know how to have fun anymore!

If you decide to go live with

your dad, I’m moving in too!

Cool!

The more I’m here the more I

think it’s a good idea, don’t

you?

I mean, we have so much in

common!

Beauty!

(Slide guitar playing)

I haven’t seen a guitar like

that in years!

Not many of them around anymore!

We both love the blues.

Cool... uh... modulation he’s

doing there, huh, dad?

Modulation... uh, that’s your

classic three chord progression!

(Slide guitar playing)

(Grunting)

Cool shades, Sharon!

Thanks!

A classic souvenir!

Hey, where’s the Mini Music

Meister?

Mini Music Meister, who’s

that?

Josh!

Josh?

He had to stay home, he got

the flu.

Oh... we were really looking

forward to jamming with him.

Drag!

Say hi when you get back,

okay?

Uh, sure!

SHARON, NARRATING: They

missed my nine year old

brother?

They even gave him a nickname!

It was like he had this special

relationship with my dad and

the band that I never knew

about!

(Groaning)

I got it!

Huh... what...?

Oh, thanks, dude!

This thing weighs a ton!

Bet you couldn’t lift that

with one hand!

Bet you he could!

C’mon, Adam, show ’em!

All right!

Rock on!

Amazing!

Excellent, I dub you Almighty

Adam!

If you ever want a job, you’d

fit in real nice around here!

SHARON, NARRATING: Great!

My brothers were Almighty Adam

and the Mini Music Meister!

But I was just Sharon!

(Sighing)

♪ And I’m never comin’ down ♪

♪ From this place

(Rock music playing)

(Clapping)

That was so cool!

I really loved that song with

the echo-y parts!

"Reaver", right dad?

You got it!

(Yawning)

Nice set, dad, but I’m just

wiped!

I don’t think I can get through

the next one!

Yeah, me too.

The flight was really early.

I gotta catch some zees.

You comin’?

Nah, I think I’ll hang.

I never get to stay up late!

A night owl, just like your

old man, huh?

Definitely!

♪

(Snoring)

Sharon!

Adam and I are going

snorkelling.

You wanna come?

Are you crazy?

The fish are still asleep!

♪

Morning!

Missed that by about twenty

minutes, kiddo!

They’re serving lunch now.

I’m not really hungry.

Could I just have some of your

toast?

Knock yourself out.

So, what are we doing today?

Well, you’re probably going

to the beach!

I have band practise.

We’re learning a couple of new

tunes, and boy do they rock!

Cool, I can’t wait to hear

them!

You will!

We’re playing ’em tonight!

I could go with you now, and

tell you what I think of the new

songs and get coffee and stuff!

Sure, if you want to be

bored!

Wouldn’t you rather go outside

and do something fun with Maria

and Adam?

You invited me down because

you missed me, right?

Right!

Well, this’ll give us a

chance to spend time together.

♪

That was great, you guys!

The harmonies were really pretty

and the fast part in the middle!

It really moved!

Your harmony was flat, man.

I know, hitting that eight

gets me every time!

And you gotta stop speeding up

during the bridge!

Anyone want coffee?

I can go get some!

Made my own, thanks!

Yeah, vanilla hazelnut!

With maple syrup...

ALL BAND MEMBERS: And a hint

of cinnamon!

Shut up and gimme a beer!

Tyler, man, where’s the

cooler?

(Laughing)

SHARON, NARRATING: There was

no way I could fit in with

these guys!

They had their own routines and

inside jokes... just like a

family!

The one my dad spent most of

his time with.

And there wasn’t room for

anyone else!

Hey, let’s do Josh’s song

now!

Josh’s song?

Yeah, he emailed me this

really great tune last week!

Too bad he’s not here!

SHARON, NARRATING: Correction

there was room for my brothers,

but not for me!

(Rock music playing)

♪

♪

It’s broiling out here!

(Gasping)

Put on more sunscreen!

I’m already wearing SPF 9000!

Hey, Sharon, go out for a

pass!

Oh!

(Sobbing)

(Coughing)

Lucky for you sand’s

vegetarian!

Ick!

I’m gonna go buy the bubbliest

bubble bath I can find and go

soak.

You sure?

Yeah.

See you guys later.

Perfect... and cruelty free!

Whoa!

Whoops, I’m sorry!

Boy, you must be hungry!

Nah, it’s for the party.

What party?

During the show tonight, we

do our own rockin’, in the back

alley!

You should swing by!

Sure!

Cool... later!

SHARON, NARRATING: Finally!

The guys wanted me to hang out

with them!

Maybe I didn’t have to write

songs or lift furniture to fit

in.

Aren’t you psyched?

This is gonna be so cool!

But don’t you want to see

your dad play?

It’s okay, we saw him the

first night, and I also went to

rehearsal.

Oh, okay, I’m into it!

We don’t have to move speakers

or do any work, do we?

Hello, would I go to that

kind of party?

(Rock music playing)

(Laughing)

Who are these people, anyway?

Oh, you know, roadies,

friends of the band...

Is Adam coming?

How would I know?

I’m not his babysitter!

You made it, excellent!

Rum and cola, ladies?

N-no... thanks.

I don’t think so.

You sure?

It’s really good stuff!

Well... okay, why not!

Are you serious?

(Giggling)

Hey, let’s party!

You’re right, it is really good!

Right on!

Sharon!

Relax, I’m fine!

I could drink like ten of these!

(Gasping)

♪

♪ Whoa

♪ Oh

(Laughing)

All right, go for it!

♪ Going up in outer space

♪ I’m looking over the human

race ♪

♪ I’m never comin’ down ♪

♪ From this place

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

And... now for my next number...

are there any requests from the

audience?

(Hiccupping)

Ugh, Sharon, stop it!

Sharon, stop it!

Hmm... you know, I don’t know

that one!

Could you hum a few bars?

(Chuckling)

Your dad would so k*ll you if

he saw you right now!

Nah, he lets me do whatever I

wanna!

You’re making a total fool of

yourself!

Can we please leave now?

The band’s almost finished!

Where’ve you two been all night?

Hiya there, Almighty Adam!

Guy...!

You gotta try a rum and cola!

They’re so yummy in the tummy!

Is she...?

Drunk, yes.

And you let it happen?

I couldn’t stop her!

(Laughing)

Great!

Oops!

It’s not funny!

Guess who’s gonna have to pay

for this!?

How many guesses do I get?

Go home if you don’t know how

to party, and try not to trash

anything else on your way out,

lush head!

Hey, back off, pal!

My sister doesn’t know how to

party ’cause she’s only 13 years

old!

I’m getting you out of here

before dad sees you!

Good idea!

Oh... my head feels like it’s

gonna split!

(Zapping)

SHARON: Everything’s

spinning!

ADAM: That’s what happens

when you get drunk, Sharon!

Everything spins out of

control!

Try not to hurl until we get

back to the hotel, okay?

(Groaning)

(Coughing)

You sure you don’t want me to

come in?

Am I gonna die?

No, it just feels that way.

Partying with the roadies?

Are you out of your mind?

It didn’t seem like such a

bad--

And drinking?

Do you know how uncool that is

for someone your age?

When you drink you don’t think

straight, and that makes you

vulnerable.

Do I need to tell you what can

happen to vulnerable 13 year

olds?

They can get taken advantage of!

They can get hurt!

And maybe even worse!

But Maria was with me--

It doesn’t matter, watch the

news!

When I call your mom and tell

her what’s happened, she’s gonna

flip!

Could you... maybe... please

stop yelling?

My head is k*lling me!

Well, serves you right!

What were you thinking?

I don’t know, I just thought,

if I was, you know, one of the

guys, I could maybe kinda fit

better into your world and

stuff.

You think you need to be one

of the guys to be part of my

world?

Kind of... I guess... maybe.

Let’s get a couple of things

straight: one, you will never,

ever be one of the guys, okay?

I think I figured that out

already.

And two, now this is

important so pay attention,

you’re my daughter!

You’re already a part, the major

part of my world!

The one that means the most to

me!

Which is why I fired Tyler.

His behaviour was inexcusable,

and just so you know, you don’t

need to drink to fit in.

(Burping)

Excuse me!

Apart from your little

belching problem, people like

you just the way you are!

Da-a-ad!

(Groaning)

SHARON, NARRATING: Boy, this

was the stupidest, most

nauseating thing I’d ever done!

Not only had I totally

humiliated myself, my cool,

easy going dad had grown the

parent gene!

So, you still want to go live

with him?

Nah, I’d miss you guys too

much.

So, we’re not getting rid of

you?

Hey, you’re not supposed to

be listening!

(Giggling)

Well, there’s your mom!

I am so glad you’re home!

I missed you!

I didn’t.

Josh, be nice.

(Sneezing)

Welcome home.

How you feeling?

Better.

Good, but I’m very

disappointed, Sharon.

I allowed you to go because I

thought you were responsible,

and you betrayed my trust.

I know.

(Sighing)

Well, that’s a start.

When we get home we’re calling

your father so we can all decide

what your punishment should be.

Maybe it won’t be that bad.

Are you kidding?!

It’ll probably be worse!

What’s the use of having

divorced parents if they g*ng up

on me!

Listen, if you have to do the

whole chore wheel on your

fridge, I’ll come help.

It’s a great workout your mom’s

got going there!

(Laughing)

♪