01x05 - The Meat of the Matter

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Beeping)

♪ Something tells me

I’ve been dreaming ♪

♪ Of someone who was

never real ♪

♪ It’s seems I've changed

a thousand ways ♪

♪ I wish I looked

the way I feel ♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Ah

♪ Ah

♪

♪ Braceface

♪ My life gets complicated

♪ Boyfriends

♪ Don’t want to talk about it ♪

♪ Teenage

♪ I’ll work it out in the end ♪

♪ Braceface

♪

SHARON: You have to be very

careful and very precise.

MARIA: Oh, like I care.

SHARON: Well, you should.

You never know who’s going to

see your toes.

MARIA: So they see them.

SHARON: So, they’ll see them

and think they’re pretty now.

There.

Don’t they look amazing?

Am I going to get green

flakes on the inside of my

socks?

Of course not.

Well, yeah, probably.

Oh, good, something to look

forward to.

(Blowing)

(Sighing)

SHARON: I wonder what Alden’s

doing right this very second.

Too bad you don’t like

climbing trees.

What does climbing trees have

to do with--

Are you serious?

Why didn’t I think of that?

You’re actually into it?

Cool.

SHARON: I need the perfect

spy-on-Alden outfit.

MARIA: Why?

The whole point is for him not

to see you.

I know, but I should de-frizz

my hair just in case.

♪

It’s so dark out here.

I thought there was supposed to

be a full moon tonight.

There is.

Time to lose the shades.

Right.

♪

What do you think?

This song goes on the demo,

definitely.

Whenever that is.

If studio time wasn’t such major

coin, we’d be in there

yesterday.

Yeah.

But hey, I’m working on it.

♪

SHARON: Not only is he

totally gorgeous and the nicest

guy in the world, but he’s also

the sensitive artist.

He’s perfect.

Careful, he’ll see you.

I doubt it.

He’s so into his music he

wouldn’t notice me unless I had

six strings and a reverb pedal.

(Sighing)

How’s it goin'?

Good.

How’s the band doing?

It’s doing.

We’ve got a bunch of songs to

take into the studio.

But doesn’t studio time cost,

like, major coin?

Yeah, exactly.

But I just got this part-time

job packing boxes at my uncle’s

factory.

Really?

I should get a part-time job,

too.

My computer’s always crashing

and I need to upgrade.

Well, hey, my uncle needs

someone else.

Why don’t you come with me now

and apply?

Oh, um, yeah.

Packing boxes.

No, I think he needs office

help.

Office.

I could do that.

I just had the most amazing

idea, and you are so going to

love it.

I’m going to organize a barbecue

to raise money for your band.

Wow, that would be cool.

Consider it done.

Gee, look at the time.

If we’re going to get to your

uncle’s, we'd better hurry.

Thanks, Nina.

(Whistle blowing)

(Sniffing)

Ew!

What’s that horrible smell?

That’s what meat packing

plants smell like.

The job’s in a meat packing

plant?

Yeah, free hotdogs.

Great.

I-- I love hotdogs.

Please don’t let me get this

job, please don’t let me get

this job.

All right, young lady.

Last question.

If you were going on a camping

trip and could only take one cut

of meat with you, what would it

be?

I picked ground beef, but you

be honest.

Okay.

Um-- uh-- a brisket?

Brisket?

Oh, my favourite!

Congratulations, you’ve got the

job.

Yes!

I only let him get away with

"ground beef" ’cause he's my

nephew.

Here it was, the Alden

opportunity I’d been waiting

for.

So why was it that the only

thing I could think of was

something my grandmother used

to tell me at bedtime?

Watch out for what you wish

for.

ADAM: A meat packing plant?

Get out of here!

It’s just part-time.

You’re gonna last about two

minutes.

Do they pay you in sausages?

Very funny.

I get paid just like everyone

else.

And what if you get a raise?

You move up to bacon?

Yeah, she’ll be bringing home

the bacon.

I don’t know, honey.

I’m concerned it'll take time

away from your schoolwork.

It’s only on Saturdays.

I suppose you can always

quit if it starts to interfere.

JOSH: With her yakking on the

phone to Maria!

How come no one in this

family ever takes me seriously?

I can’t talk long 'cause my boss

will be back in a sec’.

Do you have a cold?

I’m trying not to breathe.

It smells gross around here!

Sure, it does.

That’s all the toxins in the air

there.

SHARON: But I get to stare at

Alden all day.

Oh, well, why didn’t you say

so?

And in exactly two hours, 26

minutes and 35 seconds, we’ll

eat lunch together.

So, you’re not totally

miserable?

As long as I don’t breathe a

lot.

(Lowing)

Mr. Krumke?

Oh, no need to be formal,

young lady.

Call me Uncle Doug.

Uh, okay.

Uncle Doug, where’s all the

mooing coming from?

Mooing?

Well, none of that around here.

Cows are all dead by the time

they arrive.

You want mooing, go to Building

C, the slaughterhouse around the

corner.

(Squealing)

How could my braces be

picking up sounds from the

slaughterhouse?

♪

(Chewing)

(Clucking)

(Mooing)

(Squawking)

MAN: For the cows’ mix--

Did you say something?

(Lowing)

So, anyway, you should have been

there.

It was our best rehearsal ever!

Come on!

The chickens are getting

restless!

I can’t wait to play a live

audience.

Sounds great.

You okay?

How many pigs-- have you got?

What?

(Squawking)

Pardon me.

(Clucking)

(Lowing)

Sorry, will you excuse me?

What was I going to do?

I couldn’t spend the next year

of my life sounding like Old

MacDonald’s farm!

I had to go to the

slaughterhouse to make these

noises stop.

MAN: Hey, guys, get with the

program.

I don’t have all day.

Come on, next.

I need another load of pigs up

here right away, pronto.

You done with the first batch?

Hold on, the pigs won’t

cooperate.

I know how to take care of this.

(Chuckling)

Take care of this?

(Yelling)

I didn’t need to hear anymore.

I knew what was going to

happen.

Hey, what have you got

against animals?

Me?

I love animals.

MAN: You’ve got a funny way

of showing it.

Excuse me, you don’t know

anything about me!

MAN: You work here, don’t

you?

No, I work in Building A.

MAN: The meat packing plant.

Right.

MAN: Great, by the time they

get to you, they don’t even look

like animals anymore.

Well, I-- uh-- who are you,

anyway?

What kind of video are you

making?

Sorry, I’m Dylan, a

representative of COMA, Citizens

Opposed to the Mistreatment of

Animals.

I’m doing an exposé on all this.

Oh, where are all the other

citizens?

Today?

Helping out at the animal

shelter.

Really?

That’s so cool.

DYLAN: Why don’t you come to

a meeting?

♪

HELEN: Sharon, you’re not

eating.

Aren’t you hungry?

Yes, but I can’t eat this.

It’s one of your favourites.

Not anymore.

As of right now, I’m a

vegetarian.

Huh?

Cool.

Now you can get sprouts stuck in

your braces, instead!

You’re kidding, right?

What about protein?

There are other ways to get

protein, Adam.

Look it up.

Remember when you were six

and just ate food that began

with the letter "C"?

I think maybe you’re going

through one of your phases.

Yeah, the rabbit food phase!

It’s not a phase, and it's

the least I can do.

Unlike the rest of you, I will

no longer be a party to the

k*lling of innocent, helpless

animals.

Mmm.

Alden?

Hi.

Taking a break?

Actually, I’m kind of taking

a permanent break.

I have to quit.

Oh, bummer.

SHARON: It’s funny.

They don’t really look like

meat, do they?

You’re right.

They kind of look more like

hockey pucks.

My point is it’s pretty easy

to forget they used to be part

of a real live animal once.

Yeah, so?

So, at the slaughterhouse,

there were all these animals

just lined up waiting to die.

It was awful!

That’s why I'm quitting, Alden.

I don’t want to be a part of the

k*lling.

Cool!

It’s great you're taking a

stand.

If I felt like that, I’d quit,

too.

But don’t you feel like that,

too?

Not really.

I mean, somebody’s going to do

this job, it might as well be

me.

That pay’s good and I need the

money.

I couldn’t believe it.

This was the sensitive artist.

Where were his values?

Where was his heart?

♪

Wow.

Pretty final.

Well, that’s how I feel.

All because he won’t quit his

job?

I thought he was this great

evolved guy, and he doesn’t even

care about animals.

It doesn’t mean that.

He just needs the money.

He could find another job.

I’ve totally misjudged him.

Just because you guys don’t

share a brain doesn’t mean you

can’t still like him.

How?

He doesn’t care about something

I care so much about!

Well, you think old movies

are lame and I still like you.

Oh, that’s different.

Why?

I don’t know, it just is.

Okay, I’m not a vegetarian.

Yet.

Whatever.

So, is that different, too?

Kind of.

In a way.

Maybe you just need more time.

Maybe.

Could we sort of change the

topic now?

Well, at least now I’m not

alone.

Welcome to the geeky picky

eaters society.

Excellent.

NINA: If I don’t eat soon, I

won’t have time to fix my

makeup, and I’m so not walking

into math without lip liner.

Well?

Did you find out what’s going

on?

You’re totally going to love

this.

SHARON: Does the soup have a

chicken base?

I don’t know, probably.

Does the cheesecake have

gelatin in it?

I don’t know, probably.

Gelatin?

It’s made from cows' bones.

I don’t care.

I need to eat.

Does the Caesar dressing have

anchovy paste in it?

I don’t know, prob--

(Bell ringing)

(Students groaning)

Oops.

NINA: Braceface a vegetarian?

How much weirder can she get?

And the best part is she

won’t want to come to the

barbecue then, right?

(Giggling)

ALDEN: Sharon, hey.

Nina came through and organized

a fundraiser for the band.

We’re going to play all our

songs, and Alden’s uncle's

donating a ton of dogs and

burgers.

Tickets are only five bucks.

You guys want to come?

Well--

On the one hand, how could I be

at a barbecue with everyone

stuffing meat in their faces?

On the other hand, it was only

five dollars, and I really

didn’t want to come off as

stingy.

Besides, I might have been mad

at Alden, but I still wanted to

support his band.

NINA: I am shocked.

I can’t believe you'd even

consider going to a barbecue!

What about your principles?

After totally wrecking

everyone’s lunch hour?

The whole school’s talking

about it.

Wouldn’t it be hypocritical

to take part in a barbecue when

you’re so anti-meat?

It’s true.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable.

I understand.

Hey, you got to do what you

got to do.

She probably has to stay

home, anyway, and water her tofu

plant.

Talk about ignorant!

Everyone knows there’s no such

thing as tofu plants!

You’re not going, are you?

Well, yeah, actually.

I thought I’d check it out.

Really?

I don’t have the same problem

you do with barbecues and, well,

I sort of want to hear Alden’s

band live.

Oh.

DYLAN: Well, that’s about it

for tonight, but before you go,

I just want to remind you about

our booth at Sophie T’s grocery

store this weekend.

Are you going to go?

It’s really a lot of fun.

Sure.

Um, what will we do there?

Hand out free samples of

meatless hotdogs and burgers.

People love it.

All right, count me in.

WOMAN: Mm, very tasty.

I’ll take a package.

And there’s no cholesterol!

You can find them in the

produce aisle, right at the end.

Having fun?

Totally!

I feel like we’re really making

a difference.

(Phone ringing)

♪

Hello?

I feel bad.

Alden sounds even better than

when we were in the tree!

Oh, I wish you were here.

You’d love it!

Probably, but I’m having fun,

too.

Well, if you change your

mind, this is gonna go on for a

while.

Okay, thanks!

Bye!

Everything okay?

SHARON: Oh, sure.

My best friend’s just at this

barbecue, that’s all.

Wants me to be there.

You should go.

SHARON: Really?

You could take a bunch of

these over.

So people can see how yummy

they are.

SHARON: Which meant I could

go to the party and still stick

to my principles.

I’m there.

Everyone’s having a great

time.

Who knows, man.

It’s up to the cosmos.

Nina throws the best parties.

I’ve noticed some empty

glasses.

I’m going as fast as I can.

Well, maybe you should

increase your heart rate.

The exercise wouldn’t hurt you,

sweetie.

Ready for the second set?

Because there’s plenty mo--

SHARON: Maria?

♪

I’m sorry, but party crashers

aren’t welcome here.

I’m not crashing.

I paid for my ticket at the

door, and I’m donating some

delicious veggie stuff.

I thought you guys might like

to try some.

I’ll go for it.

Excuse me.

There’s no room on the grill for

your disgusting seaweed

products.

This is a barbecue.

That’s just it!

These are great for barbecuing,

and they’re a cruelty-free

alternative to meat.

I’ll try one.

NINA: You’re calling my

fundraiser, which I slaved over

for days, "cruel"?

It’s not personal, I just

thought people might want to try

something different.

From what?

Meat?

So now you’re insulting Uncle

Doug, who thoughtfully donated

all the food?

Nice!

This isn’t a political rally,

you know.

It’s a party.

NINA: Exactly!

You just can’t stand me doing

something nice, can you?

You have to hog all the

attention!

Hello.

I’m not the one yelling!

Hey, what’s going on?

Sharon’s decided to turn our

party into a demonstration.

I did not.

NINA: Yes, you did!

You think you can change the

world?

Guys, please.

If I could, I know who I’d

start with.

(Yelling)

(Crunching)

(Gasping)

Oh, man.

SHARON: Alden?

How could something that seemed

so right go so wrong?

Come on, let’s go home.

(Sobbing)

♪

SHARON: I can’t go.

Why?

I need to be inside where no

one, especially Alden, can see

me.

Sharon, you can’t avoid him

forever.

Can’t I at least avoid him

for 24 hours?

The wounds of humiliation are

still fresh.

What about school?

You going to get the rest of

your education online?

Good idea!

Then I won’t be distracted by a

social life.

Hey, what about the very

creatures you’re trying to

defend?

(Whimpering)

The things I do for you guys.

That a girl.

(Barking)

SHARON: Now, be nice to the

squirrels.

So, what do I do when I see him?

I’m sure he hates me.

One, you don’t know that.

And two, I thought he was off

your list.

Well, I’m going to have to

lighten up the qualifications

for my list, ’cause eventually,

everyone would be off it, or

almost everyone I care about,

anyway.

Maybe I should just go back to

the way I was before.

This is too hard.

Poor baby.

I mean it!

That’s probably why it's

worth doing.

Thank you, Zen Master Wong.

It’s like me getting up at

6:00 every morning to run.

I hate getting up when it’s dark

or how Connor’s always picking

up everyone else’s litter.

With gloves on.

With gloves on.

It doesn’t matter, he does it.

Sometimes you just do things

because they’re important to

you.

SHARON: Yeah, you’re right.

But it’s still hard.

Oh, Alden alert.

Two o’clock.

SHARON: Oh, my God!

Maybe I can blend in with the

trees.

Too late.

Hi, Alden.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, you playing or what?

I better go.

See you guys later.

SHARON: Alden, I want to pay

to have your guitar fixed.

Don’t worry about it.

My Uncle Doug gave me a raise,

and it wasn’t really your fault.

See, that wasn’t so bad, was

it?

He’s not mad!

(Sighing)

Isn’t he amazing?

Yeah, for someone who works

in a meat packing plant.

Well, no one’s perfect.

And I still have lots of time to

work on him.

Hark, I hear the sound of a

major crush coming back.

Yeah.

Things to do starting

immediately: One, get another

picture of Alden.

Two, find out exactly what a

reverb pedal is.

And three, plan a veggie menu

for our kids.

♪