Mutilator 2 (2023)

[bunniefuu]

[eerie music]

[suspenseful music]

[gasping]

Where have you been? Where are the others?

I don't know, I'm scared.

Something's wrong.

[Ed Jr.] Girls, just calm down.

No, Mike and Linda have never come back.

Ralph went to go look for

them and now he's gone too.

Help me find him.

-[Ed Jr.] Alright, alright.

-We'll find him.

Yeah, we'll look around down here.

You go upstairs

and get dressed.

-Okay.

I'm not leaving without Ralph.

Just gonna drive over

to the sheriff's department

-on the main road.

-We'll be right back with help.

-I'm not leaving!

-[Pam] You've got to come!

Let's take one last look around.

We'll be right back.

One last look?

One last look?

Alright.

Okay, you two go around

that side and I'll go this way.

Uh-uh, Buddy, I'm sticking with you.

Why don't you two go around this side

and I'll go around that side?

-[Pam] Make it fast.

-Okay.

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

[Olivia choking]

[phone ringing]

[Jon] Cut! Cut!

[phone continues ringing]

I thought I said, "no phones on my set"!

[phone continues ringing]

Who in the hell has a g*dd*mn

phone ringing on my set?

What?

Goddammit!

I thought I told you to never ever call me

when I'm f*cking working!

b*tch![Glass shatters]

Flashing.[Camera clicks]

Goddammit! Delete that.

Get off my set.

Okay, first positions.

Sydney, tell Shastrom and Ferrell,

"we're gonna do the poke gag next".

[Newby] Watch the barn

doors. Don't cut yourself.

[McNutt] Yeah, man, I've done this before.

[Newby] All right.

[Julian] Can't be done,

bro. The day is over.

What?

Union rules, boss.

It's triple time now. It's the golden time.

It's just one more shot.

It won't take but a bit.

You can sh**t it if you want

to, but it's just gonna cost more.

Three times as much, plus

we get additional turnaround

and an extra meal.

Goddammit! It's just one more shot.

Let's put it up to the crew for a vote.

Sorry, it can't be done. Union rules.

Just one more shot, Julian.

I've seen your notes, bro,

there's like three more setups.

That would probably take

like four hours with sh**ting.

That's half a day. We're

already 14 hours into this day.

No can do.

Come on, bro. We can finish

this thing and wrap tonight.

Can't be done, bro.

Besides, the wrap party and

the horror fest are scheduled

for tomorrow night.

-Horror fans are gonna be here.

-[Jon groaning]

-[Newby] Mind the doors.

-[McNutt] Right.

You'll pay for this.

Sydney, tell Shastrom and Ferrell,

we're not gonna do the poke gag today.

We'll do them tomorrow

morning, first thing.

That's it for today, everybody. Thank you.

Be here tomorrow, 10:00 AM sharp.

You can leave anything here you want.

It's a hot set. We have security.

But a 10:00 AM call

tomorrow? All that daylight again.

We'll just close the doors again.

Newby can handle it again, no sweat.

Not tomorrow. Tomorrow's Saturday.

Not a work day, unless you

wanna pay time and a half.

-Goddammit!

-Hey, it beats triple time.

You and me need to talk.

10:00 tomorrow?

Okay, folks, that's it for

today. Call tomorrow, 10:00 A.

-[Newby] Mind the doors.

-[McNutt] Right.

[Bo] Olivia, I'm strangling you.

Like, my hand is against your neck.

Like, how could you

ever think you can speak?

Yeah, but I still think

I should have a line.

And I mean, why do I

have to wear this stupid wig?

'Cause your hair looks nothing like hers.

Yeah, but it's a remake.

I'm not supposed to

even look exactly like her.

[crew member] I'll take that.

[Sandy] And I'll take that.

-Thank you.

-Mm-hmm.

Anything else?

-[Sandy] That's it.

-I'll see you at the shop.

[Sandy] Fo' sho.

She should totally have a line.

[McNutt gargling]

Henry has been looking for you.

Ugh, that d*uche-nozzle?

I've been dodging him this whole sh**t.

He just wants the vag.

I can't say I blame him.

[laughs] Shut up, McNutt!

You know what? I don't even

know why I keep hiring you.

Because you told Mom you'd look after me.

Yeah. Worst f*cking mistake of my life.

Next to getting into the movie industry.

Jon, you okay?

Never been better. You?

[Ruthie] Ugh.

[RH] The condo at the beach,

it's changed since you were here before?

[Ruthie] It was just a

movie, but it brings bad vibes.

[ominous music]

[RH] Yeah, we're gonna have a good time.

[Ruthie] Even if it kills us.

[RH] Hey, you know what? Lets go check in.

[Ruthie] Why did you buy this stupid car?

Because it's cool.

[Ruthie] Well, it won't start.

Try putting your foot on the brake.

-There you go. [Chuckles]

-[car engine rumbling]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music continues]

[Jack] Hi, how are you?

Pardon me for asking,

are you the k*ller from

the last movie they made?

Yes, Big Ed.

I thought so.

Maybe you won't be doing

any killings this weekend.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Never mind. My k*lling days are behind me.

So you're safe,

for a while maybe. [Laughs]

[clerk] Thank you. I'll

pass the word around.

-Keys. You have some keys.

-[Clerk] Keys.

-Thank you.

-[Clerk] Here are your keys.

Don't forget your bag.

Your name tag is in this bag.

You'll need to wear it to the party.

Ah. Okay.

- Ah! Hello.

- Hi!

It's really you!

Hi Jack. k*ll anyone lately?

You know, I was just telling

this lovely young lady here

that my k*lling days...

[exhales] are behind me.

It's Mr and Mrs RH Martinez.

I recognize you from the

last movie. Welcome back.

Yes, it's good to see you.

We're so glad to have

been invited to the party.

Hey, do you remember

which room I had the last time?

No, I don't. Um...

I just remember it was pretty

far away from everyone else's.

[all laugh]

Yes, they tried to keep me

away from everyone else

to preserve my character's

reputation as the good girl.

-Yeah.

-No partying for me.

Well, how did that work for you?

[Ruth chuckles]

[Jack] I'll see you two outside.

Oh, keys.

-Thank you.

-[Clerk] Don't forget your bags.

[Clerk] Here are some name tags in there.

You need to wear them to the party.

Very good. Thanks so much.

Hey Jack. How you doing, sir?

[Jack] I'm fine.

Good seeing you again.

Good to see you.

Yeah, it's been a long time.

-Yeah.

-And speaking of which...

Jack?

[Jack] Sweetie.

[laughs] It's so good to see you.

It's good to see you, guys.

Good to see you.

How have you been?

I've been well, Ruthie.

How long has it been?

Too long, friend. Too long.

That's what Buddy said.

[Jack and Ruth laugh]

Can you believe these el cheapo swag bags?

[Ruth chuckling] Oh, Bill, they're okay.

Look, a t-shirt.

Yeah.

Oh, Ruthie, Did you get your old room back?

It was 216, right?

I don't remember.

Uh-huh? I do. It was room 216, all right.

I don't remember my room number either,

but I don't remember a

lot of things nowadays.

[Jack and Ruth laughing]

-Hey Bill.

-[Bill] Yeah?

You know what my favorite

k*ll was in "The Mutilator?"

Hmm.

That was when I grabbed

you by the throat with a

thumb and finger! [Bill groans]

Man!

I always wanted to do that.

Just one more take. Just one more.

[Jack laughing]

Oh, I'm gonna go get settled in.

See you later.

[Bill] Yeah, see you later.

[creepy music]

There's something I don't

like about Bill. He's so smug.

I can't quite put my finger on it,

just like he knows

something that we don't know.

I hardly knew him.

[dramatic music]

[Sandy] You are one ugly m*therf*cker.

Hey, Sandy girl.

[Sandy] Henry! Great.

[Henry] I'm not bothering you, am I?

Not at all, just gluing some stuff on.

I've been looking for

you all over the place.

Well, these slashers keep the

prop department pretty busy.

[Henry] That's good. That's good, sweetie.

Look, listen, I'm dying

to ask you this question.

[Sandy] What's that?

Well, it's kind of,

I don't know how to say this.

It's weird. It's uh...

Just go ahead.

[Henry sighs] Listen, doll face,

I might embarrass you, okay,

when I say this, so...

[Sandy] I'm a big girl, so out with it.

Hey, wait, is this the first movie

that you've been working with me on?

Yep.

[Henry] Listen, I've heard nothing

but good things about you.

That's great.

You are going to be working

with me very soon again.

I'm telling you.

Well, thank you.

I am often available, sometimes too often.

Listen, I can do something about that.

[Sandy] That'd be great.

I still don't know how to put this.

Spit it out.

Okay, when a man

and a woman wanna get together

and do a certain thing

in the situations that are

in a way, you know, it just...

They gotta get inventive. You understand?

Yeah, inventive? Um, not exactly.

When they wanna get intimate,

non intimate ways, you know?

Not really. I don't know.

They wanna do it, but

they don't, you know...

[Sandy] Henry? Henry, are

you hinting at some head?

[Henry] I heard you a suck

a mean d*ck. Is that true?

Um, where did you hear that?

[Henry] I can't reveal my sources,

but if it's true, hey, why

don't we find out, okay?

Look, I can help you with

your career, eh? Come on.

If you insist.

No, I can't insist. It

all has to be voluntary.

Step here in case somebody walks in.

I like how you think.

[Sandy] Okay, take the little guy out.

[Henry] Oh, he's not little.

[Sandy] Are you ready?

Oh, I see that you are

not a shower or a grower.

[Henry] What?

[Sandy] Just stick it through the curtain.

I don't like being watched.

You ever wonder what

deep throat is all about?

Oh, you're so big. You're

gonna have to push real hard.

[Henry] Well, I could do that.

Okay, push now.

[Henry moaning]

That's good, baby.

Oh, you keep that up.

[imitates fellatio]

Oh yeah. I like a little fur

down there from time to time.

[imitates fellatio]

What's up, dude?

Nothing much. Just giving Henry some head.

Uh? Come again.[Sandy laughs]

Excellent choice of words.

[imitates fellatio]

[Henry] What the f*ck?!

[Sandy chuckles]

What the f*ck? [Screams]

Easy. It's glued on there.

It might take some meat with it.

It might take the whole thing off

and that would require

stitches, lots of painful stitches.

Many.

How do I get this goddamned thing off me?

Uh, well, you could use

an acetone or a solvent,

um, some nail polish remover or alcohol.

Machete.

But any of those would

probably burn like hell.

You could try to whittle it off.

Oh, but you wanna be

careful with that knife.

Yeah, that prop cost you a lot of money.

Try not to damage it. Oh,

plus we may need it again.

[Henry] And then what, b*tch?

A cold shower?

Oh? Cold shower.

You are never working for me again.

What the f*ck are you looking at?

[dramatic music]

[Henry muttering]

Hey, back it off. Oh, sh*t.

I had an accident. I'm sorry.

He's gonna have to live with that?

Nah, if he'd take a bath

with soap and water,

it would wash right off.

On skin, that glue

deteriorates in 36 hours.

He'll wake up day after tomorrow

and it'll come right off, so to speak.

Have you hummed a kazoo lately?

McNutt, I swear.

Wait, you never seen one of these up close?

You know, I never really understood

how to play those things.

Oh, I guess Henry got some bad intel.

-Just shut up, as*h*le.

-As long as you put

the big end in your mouth and then you hum.

[flute toots]

You are weirdly good at that.

Oh, thank you. I got you one.

Oh, thank you.

[flute toots]

How is he supposed to pee?

[Sandy laughs] Henry? Oh sh*t.

[McNutt] Oh my god.

[kazoo tooting]

[both kazoos tooting]

You need to quit hampering the sh**t.

My job is to look out for

the crew, not the sh**t.

I'm not intentionally hampering anything.

I'm just doing my job.

[Jon] Well, lighten up!

Me lighten...? You lighten up!

Look, you've been working that crew

for 14 hours a day for five

days now. They're tired.

But they're professionals

so they keep giving.

You need to give them a

short day and a pat on the back.

Yeah, I know. You're right.

I just wanna get this thing

in the can and move on.

It's been a pain in the a*s.

They sent us the wrong lenses,

the hard drives have all failed.

Even the special effects

gags haven't worked

and the crew laughs at the f*cking dailies.

This is a g*dd*mn horror

movie, not a comedy.

What are we looking for?

My phone.

We're over budget, behind schedule.

So what else is new?

But I understand.

-Um, the one you threw?

-Mm-hmm.

I'll talk to the crew.

Tomorrow's the last day.

You only have that one scene left to film.

Why don't you give 'em a short day?

Call it a 10 hour day

and put it in the can.

The crew appreciates the tip

and the wrap party would be fun

and everyone will feel good about the sh**t

and about having worked with you.

Maybe some of them may

want to work with you again

if the money's good.

Look bro, I'm sorry I popped

off at you the other day.

From now on, we'll do it your way, okay?

Union rules and everything.

[Julian] You know I love you, man.

as*h*le.

[ominous music]

Who's there?

Hey, what's up?

[Jon screams]

[blood sputtering]

[ominous music continues]

[chuckling]

[fire extinguisher hisses]

[Julian] Oh, what the... Oh!

We're damn lucky that this

guy didn't destroy the set.

I'll tell you that,

because that would ruin

my day if that happened.

Is that right? Is that right, man.

[indistinct] Can you fix that or what?

Yes, sir. We can get it back up in no time.

All right. Hey, man.

All right, I gotta get

outta here. I'm outta here.

Julian, hey, how you doing?

Listen, take over for me. Okay?

Cover for me, please.

Just keep my name out of

this, you know what I mean?

But keep me posted,

all right? See you later.

[security guard] That's

right. At the Oceanana Motel.

Send a black and white and an EMS.

Copy that.

Don't you guys have a safety officer

or somebody here on set?

Who's supposed to be keeping

an eye on everybody's safety?

He is.

[dramatic music]

[Joe] Detective Joe Colombo, ABPD.

Columbo, really?[Joe laughs]

Yeah, big funny.

I'm cooler than Falk, but I don't smoke.

One of the remaining few.

[radio chattering]

[Joe] This belonged to the victim?

[Julian] Hard to say. There

were a few going around.

Every cast and crew member got one.

Might be the victim's.

[Julian] It could be.

Might not be the victim's.

So how could an accident like this happen?

There was no accident.

That light was bagged. It

wouldn't have just fallen over.

[Joe] You think it was pushed?

My brother knew his way around the set.

He didn't trip on it.

Yeah. Yeah, I think someone pushed it.

Has anybody been on the set recently?

Everyone's been on it for days.

Bag it.

Are you in charge here, Mister...?

Hill. Only temporarily.

Who's the head cheese then?

Henry, the producer is in charge.

[Joe] I need to talk to him. Where is he?

You just missed him. He had to leave.

He's not available right now.

I'm in charge for now.

The headman is here or he can't see me?

[Julian] He asked me to talk to you.

A man is dead. He doesn't

wanna talk to the police?

[Julian] He wants to talk to you.

He is just, uh, indisposed

at the moment, sir.

I really can't say more than...

I... I am authorized to speak for him.

Okay. I need to talk to

everyone that works here.

So get me a list of names

and let's start with your, uh,

Mr. Producer.

Actually, sir, most of

the people are sleeping.

Wake 'em up.

Some have left for the night.

They'll be back tomorrow.

We'll start with the people

who are here. Wake 'em up.

May I suggest an alternative?

No.

What?

Tomorrow's the last day of sh**ting.

We need to finish this movie.

It's already gonna be

problematic enough with Jon dead

if we can finish it all.

It would just make things

worse if you got everyone excited.

There appears to have been a m*rder here.

I need to talk to your people one-on-one.

So who was the first on the scene?

I understand. Security guy was first.

But listen,

tomorrow after the last

shot is the wrap party.

Everyone will be here.

Come and mingle with the crowd

and figure out who you want to talk to

and talk to them then.

Yeah, I don't like it. It's too informal.

I will give you a complete

list of the cast and crew.

Everyone will be relaxed.

The job will be over.

There's pressure off.

Actually, they would've been drinking

so there'll be loose lips,

if you know what I mean.

When does the party start?

[Julian] Around 8:00.

Maybe a little earlier for

those who aren't needed on set.

[Joe] It's not how I

operate, but I'll do it

and I'll be the life

or maybe the death of your party.

Where's the security

guard? I'll talk to him now.

He's over there.

[radio chattering]

[RH] Hey, save my seat,

please. I'll be right back.

[Bill] Good morning.

Hey Bill.

Ruthie, I would like to introduce you

to my new friend, Ann.

Hey Ruthie.

[Ruth] Hello, Ann. Are you on the sh**t?

[Ann] I'm a PA, but

not on call this morning.

I am. My name's Jack Chatham.

Big Ed in the original.

I'm pleased to meet you.

Well, thank you very much.

Ugh. Hi, RH.

Hey, what's this?

You take my seat? Drink my coffee?

What's next?

[Bill chuckles] Well, if

Ruthie's not too busy.

[loud smacking]

-Oh man!

Well, lucky for you, I don't like bacon.

[RH] Yeah, right. Move.

[Bill sighs]

-[Ann] Sit here.

Everything all right at this table?

[Ruth] Everything's fine.

We are just recreating a

moment from the movie.

Say, aren't ya'all the

folks from that movie

that was made here?

Yep, these three were in the cast.

Well, I'll be!

The principal actors.

We're glad to have y'all back.

Breakfast on the house today.

Whoa, why thank you, my kind sir

and would you happen to

have any steaks on the menu?

[chuckles] You kidder. Enjoy your meal.

I... I wasn't kidding.

Well, now you are.

Here's my number, y'all.

Send me yours so we can stay in touch.

[Bill] Ann has been working

very hard on this motion picture

and she thinks that she

has a career in the industry.

And speaking of which,

what in the heck have all

y'all been doing the past,

I don't know, 35 years or so?

[laughs] Well, I gave up full-time teaching

to direct and perform more.

I work all the time now.

Yeah, I'm a singer-songwriter.

As a matter of fact, I just

got back from Nashville

where I was recording an album.

So who have you been

bothering all these years?

[Bill laughs]

Ah, funny!

Listen, I have been in real estate

and I have done quite well.

Thank you very much.

Is everyone excited

about the party tonight?

Two days of R&R at the beach?

Well, at first I didn't think

this was gonna be very much fun,

but now that I'm here,

I'm beginning to see the possibilities.

The cast and crew eat

here. I wonder where they are.

[Bill] Well, praise the Lord.

[Ann] Maybe they're in church?

On a Saturday?

[ethereal music]

My sister-in-law would tell you

that my brother was a special man,

a great human being, a miracle worker.

He turned many second rate screenplays

into great motion pictures

and yet he was never awarded an Oscar.

All the guy did was make sh*t.

Profitable sh*t but it was sh*t.

No one was ever watching that.

I'm gonna miss him.

Pfft.

He liked show business.

He was the most beautiful

person in the whole world.

And he may have seemed

like a self-important person,

like an overbearing person,

but really, he was just insecure,

and full of self-doubt.

He was universally loved.

A fabulous friend and a wonderful leader.

The things he cared about; Life, love,

kindness to others, gentility...

Mom, apple pie...

[Julian] He was a good man.

A humanitarian, a sweet soul.

He was an as*h*le.

Now, [grunts]

how are we going to finish this thing

without f*ck?

He was slow as sh*t and behind schedule.

We'll just finish it. It's basically done.

We can use that last take,

lose the sound of Jon's phone ringing,

but we can do it.

Just one last scene.

It's important to us to finish it too.

It'll look bad on our

resumes if we don't finish.

People will think we're jinxed.

No, it has to be reshot.

The talent reacted to

the ringing in the phone.

Okay, well up to the ringing then.

Ed, you saw it? Can we use any of it?

Yeah, I mean, I can use

a lot of it up to the ringing.

Four shots.

Jon and I discussed it last

night just before, you know.

It's nearly done.

We would've finished it last night,

but we had to quit because of union rules.

Hey, those are not my rules!

Yes but...

We can probably do it.

[Henry] "Probably"? I got a

lot at stake for f*cking probably.

The lights are still

set up for the first shot.

We have the setups planned for the rest.

Yeah, call hasn't been

canceled. It's just delayed.

Our people are still here, you know.

We can set it for 2:00 this afternoon.

It should give us plenty of time.

[Henry] Okay. Yeah, but who's gonna direct?

I mean, it can't be too hard

'cause Dumbo was doing it.

But who's gonna do it?

-I will.

-What?

I know his style.

I know what he is gonna

do, what he's gonna say.

I'm assistant director.

It's part of my job to take

over in situations like this.

No, I'll do it. I'm more in charge.

Boss?

Yeah but, you are my main man

and besides, you don't know

what jackass had in mind.

He had everything planned out.

We'll just look at his notes.

[Julian] Where are the

notes? Do you have them?

He kept 'em on his phone.

"On his phone "?

Okay, I mortgaged my

yacht for this turd of a movie

and he kept his notes on his f*cking phone?

It's the way he worked. He kept it on him.

You know, it was handy.

He's always making changes.

You know, notes, scripts, storyboards.

Jesus Christ. Where is this f*cking phone?

He threw it at a light last night.

What?

-[Newby] It broke a bulb. $50.

[Julian] Yeah, he was

looking for it on set last night.

-Do we have it?

-I don't know.

We settled a few things,

finished our conversation,

I went...

Wait, I picked it up yesterday

after he threw it and I

gave it to you, Sydney.

That's right. It's in here somewhere.

Nope, I'll find it.

That's an ugly bag by the way.

I mean, it's company property,

-so let me go through it.

-No, it's not. It's mine.

My wife gave it to me for anniversary.

It's not ugly.

Here it is.

Give me this.

Oh great. It's got a passcode.

Okay, who's good with

these goddamned things?

Let me see it.

Nope, nope.

Oh, there.

Here, I'm in. 10:31.

[Liz] Cute. Look under his notes.

He kept them there

in order of scene numbers.

He was organized if nothing else,

[Sydney] Here they are. Scene 138.

-Give it to me.

-No.

Boss.

Okay Julian, you have this,

but you better not f*ck it up

or the b*tch is in charge.

Two o'clock call, folks.

[Henry claps]

Bill, stop, I'm married

and happy.

-But Ruthie. Don't...

[RH] Was... What the hell?

Whoa. Wait a minute.

You mother...

-[Bill] I'm out here.

sh*t. sh*t.

[Ruth] RH, put that away!

That's it. I'm outta here!

[RH] Not a chance. He's

getting what he deserves.

[Ruthie] No RH, It was nothing.

Well, it sure looked like something.

[sighs] It was nothing.

Bill just thinks we're back

sh**ting the original movie.

Well, he's gonna fade

away just like the original.

Calm down. Think for a minute.

Yeah, like the original,

sh**ting's too good for him.

-RH.

-This damn thing

doesn't work anyway.

[Ruth scoffs]

-[g*n clatters]

[ominous music]

[Bo grunting]

-[Olivia choking]

[tools clattering]

[Olivia crying]

Please! No! No!

[Bo and Olivia screaming]

[Olivia whimpering]

[Bo screams]

-[axe thuds]

And that's a wrap.

Thank God.

Are you a religious man, Henry?

[exaggerated laughing] f*ck you.

Come on. You can buy me a drink.

Don't expect me to put out though.

[Henry] Get the f*ck outta

here with you. Come on.

Oh, watch it. Lock this door.

I don't need any as*h*le

jerking off in here. Understand?

[Ed] It locks automatically.

[upbeat music]

[people chattering]

No name tag, no admission.

Employee of the month,

huh? Okay, here we go.

Welcome back, folks.

It's the host with the most, Zine,

editor and publisher of The

Gore Times, online edition,

and we are here at the

fabulous Oceanana Motel

in beautiful Atlantic

Beach, North Carolina.

We're fortunate to be attending

by special invitation only

at the wrap party/horror fest,

which you can see going on behind me,

celebrating the end of

the filming of the remake

of our favorite slasher, "The Mutilator".

That's right. I've talked about

"The Mutilator" many times

before. I first saw it

when I was in high school

and it has since become one

of my favorite eighties

independent horror slashers

of all time.

I was impressed that the film had heart.

It was a love letter to me personally.

And since its release in the 1980s,

it has become a very

talked about cult classic.

Buddy Cooper who directed the original,

also just a really awesome guy

who's there to help young people in film

with questions they might have

about writing, directing, or producing.

He's got an old school style,

but that original "Mutilator" flick

is still to this day, a blueprint

for many other indie horror slashers

that have tried to follow

in his bloody footsteps.

Another wonderful thing about

Buddy is he is always there

to shake a hand and

answer a question from a fan.

Now, of course, I'm talking

about the uncut version

of the "Mutilator," not the

one the MPAA stepped on,

but he had a sure shot hit on his hands

and the MPAA made him

cut out all the good bits.

Oh, sorry, it's a sensitive subject for me.

Let's just try and keep it positive, okay

and focus on the screen

values of those like

Ruth Martinez and Bill

Hitchcock, Jack Chatham,

the entire cast and crew,

the entire picture edit

team, sound edit team.

It's all of superb quality, okay?

I mean like Michael Minard's entire score

for the thing is incredible

as was the theme song,

which was made available on 45 RPM singles.

A potent noir, if I do say so myself.

A lot of great horror fans

out there would've sold their unborn child

for a chance to see a "Mutilator" remake

but I'm happy to say now

they can keep the baby.

Oh, I've been told by a confidential

yet reliable source that...

-No, not me.

That the remake is in the can.

So stay tuned. It'll be coming

soon to a theater near you.

"Mutilator 2" Look for it.

-[security guard] Whoa, whoa.

-Wha... Wha... What?

Oh, shut up, you.

[dramatic music]

[distant upbeat music]

[Julian] It's a list of all

acting crew members.

It includes their phone

number, motel room number,

home and email addresses.

Oh, it also includes their character names

or crew position.

[Joe groaning]

Name tag?

What's a gaffer?

Please, please, please, please.

Whoa. Is this the original

one from Mutilator One?

[Sandy] Yep, the very same one.[Laughs]

It's a little heavier for me.

-Let me see that.

-Whoa, no, no. Girls, please.

-That is it, isn't it?

-This is sharp.

This is sharp.

Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, girls.

-Take my picture.

-Wait, please, please!

[RH] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

If this keeps somebody's

really gonna get hurt.

-[Bill] Oops.

-[RH] Or worse.

[Bill] Sorry, RH.

[Jack] How about the ax?

You have my battle ax?

No, sadly, someone stole it.

I mean, how can that happen? How?

[scoffs] I don't know.

We think that someone

from the original sh**t

just made off with it.

We had to get a different one.

Damn. Some people, huh?

I know, right?

[upbeat music continues]

[Jason] Hey, hey, hey man.

How... How's that leg?

This leg? It's great.

Stainless steel, carbon fiber,

spring loaded piston and

naturally formed ankle.

It's the best leg you can

buy with taxpayer dollars.

I'm sorry about that.

Everybody's here. Where's Liz?

I don't know. She's here somewhere.

Look, let's just find her, grab some IPAs

and have a little private party.

[Iza laughs]

[Iza] Oh, I see her right there.

Show us that bad look, Mr. Chatham.

"Bad look"?

Hey, you! [Laughs]

Yeah, just call me Big Ed, all right?

[Party goer] You're still

the best bad guy ever.

Yeah, I still got it, don't I?

[camera snaps]

[Theodore] Whoa. What

party are you going to?

Just thought I'd take a nighttime dip.

You feel like having a companion tag along?

No.

[Theodore] For safety, I mean.

I know. I think I'll be okay.

I almost made the Olympic swim team.

Yeah, what was your stroke?

Uh...

-It's all in the wrist, right?

[ominous music]

[Bo] Here we go.

[Bleck] Hey man.

[no audible dialog]

Oh my God. I'm all tipsy.

[Liz] Listen guys, how

can you tell if a period...

How are you supposed

to tell if a period's in italics?

If you ever had a wet

dream and not remember it?

Like what even are italics anyhow?

Come on. We wanna have a private party.

-Yeah.

-Come with us.

[Patrice] No thanks, I'll stay.

I've got my eye on something.

[upbeat music]

Something? [Bleck chuckling]

-Hey.

-Hush.

-Nice talking with you.

-See you.

Two is a crowd.

-[Bleck] What's up, man?

-What's up, dude?

[lighter clicking]

Hit?

Oops, I forgot.

Hey there, Marilyn.

Would you like to be on

my show, The Gore Times?

I have a YouTube channel.

You've probably heard of it.

Oh, I'm a friend of Henry's.

Come on, Henry.

So how'd you do that thing at the end

where they cut you in half?

Well, there's nothing to it.

They just glued me back together. [Laughs]

And when was the last time

you saw the director alive?

I dunno. On the set

when he blew a circuit.

Yeah, he was very much alive then.

Did you get along with him?

Well, I didn't have to

deal with him directly,

which was good for me

because that guy could

be a real pain in the a*s.

Yeah, sure. Who did you deal with?

Uh, the DP.

Okay.

What's a DP?

Director of photography.

Am I a suspect?

Everybody's a suspect.

Uh... Would you keep

information confidential

like when someone tells you sh*t?

I work with confidential

informants all the time

and I protect their identity.

What do you got?

You can't use my name.

You can't say where it came from.

Well, if we have to go to

court you may have to testify.

Ah, okay. Never mind.

Well, if you withhold information,

thereby hindering a

formal police investigation,

you're committing a

crime, a felony in fact,

if you wanna go to jail.

Yeah, but man, it's nothing.

You're asking for trouble.

Look, it's just my opinion, man.

It's nothing like real evidence.

Spill it.

You know who really hated Jon?

Henry, the producer.

They were constantly fighting, okay?

He told Jon that he'd

never worked for him again.

Henry. Okay.

I want to talk to Henry. Where is he?

[McNutt] Trench coat.

[pats shoulder]

Okay.

All right, we are here

now with the one and only.

Buddy Cooper, director of Mutilators One.

Oh Buddy, you are accredited

as executive producer

on this film.

Tell us what exactly is it that you do

as an executive producer.

Nothing.

As executive producer on this picture,

I do absolutely nothing.

It's great.

Um. Okay, well, tell us, Buddy, um,

is there any particular thing

from the original "Mutilator"

that you like better than in the remake?

Oh yeah.

On the original "Mutilator,"

the director did not

get m*rder*d, I like that.

Toke.

No, thanks.

Hey, excuse me.

Buddy Cooper, everybody.

[upbeat music]

Well, if it moves or

bleeds, wiggles or winks,

walks or talks, then it's special effects

but if it doesn't do anything,

if it just lies there, then it's props.

You get it?

Yeah, I get it. I'm married to a prop.

You think the white bits in

oranges are good for you?

I don't think they're good for you.

The white bits?

Oranges.

[horn honks]

Do you like this line of work?

It's what some people do that don't drink.

Maybe that's why I drink. [Giggles]

They gave me those tests in high school.

The test that tell you

what you're best suited for.

Mine all kept coming up "forest ranger".

Really?

Mm-hm. All these years

I've wondered, day and night,

what's so great about

being a forest ranger?

There's nobody there.

Weirdo.

It's been a long time

since the movie was made,

but you are still a very good looking man.

[Jack] Well, thank you very

much. You look good too.

I'm flattered.

Are you married?

No, I'm not married. I'm available.

Well?

Well?

Would you like to come up

to my room for a night cap?

Not right now.

It might be a little obvious

if we both leave the party

at the same time, don't you think?

[Ann giggling]

What if I give you a call later?

I'll be counting on it.

I'll be calling you... definitely.

[ominous music]

Frozen 3 Musketeers

bar dipped in melted butter.

Nah, Breyers vanilla ice

cream with maple syrup.

Mm, You win.

[imitates munching]

[McNutt] You can relax.

Henry's not here anymore.

[both chuckling]

Hey, has that guy

talked to you yet, the cop?

Hmm.

That guy's name is

Columbo. You believe that?

Yeah, I told him Henry's a nobody.

Just somebody's messenger boy.

No real power, just a real as*h*le.

Damn. I told him that

Henry probably k*lled Jon.

-No, you didn't.

-Yes I did.

[both laughing]

-I love it.

-sh**t it.

Whoop.

Cheers.

[both coughing]

g*dd*mn, that's sweet.

Am I handsome yet or what?

-I think I need another one.

-I'll be right back.

[laughing]

Hey Ed, how about running my death scene

from the first "Mutilator" movie for me?

You know the real one, the

way it's supposed to be done.

Again? Why don't you just get a copy?

Um. No money?

Why don't you just ask Buddy for one

and then you can watch it anytime you want?

Ed, I promise you, this

will be the very last time

that I ask you.

All right, gimme a few

minutes and then come around.

Mr. Jack Chatham, Big Ed himself.

Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous.

Please don't k*ll me. Just kidding.

But speaking of which,

why do you think that Big

Ed k*lled all those people

in the original "Mutilator"

when he was only after his son?

It doesn't seem to make

much sense if you think about it.

That's a good question.

Are we on TV? Is that what that is?

Right there.

That's nice. That's nice.

See, when I put myself

into the Big Ed character,

I found that I really became Big Ed

and it felt like once I

started k*lling people,

I discovered that I really liked it.

You could say I was hooked.

[chuckling]

So I just wanted to keep on k*lling,

and k*lling... and k*lling.

k*lling all those people was

the most fun I've ever had.

[suspenseful music]

[door knob beeps]

[door thuds]

[suspenseful music continues]

[phone beeps]

[suspenseful music fades]

Hey Ed, are you ready?

I've come to see it and I've

also brought you a souvenir.

All right, hot shot. This is the last time.

I got plenty of other

things to do than deal

with egocentric assholes.

Yeah, I saw you talking to her earlier

but I have come to watch my

most breathtaking performance.

I should have been nominated.

Okay, right.

It's all queued up. Have a seat.

You gonna watch it with me?

Ooh, do you have any popcorn?

Nah, I'm gonna head back to the party.

Pull the door shut. It locks automatically.

See you on the red carpet, hot shot.

Hey, what's up?

[Bill] All right, here we

go. Walking in the dark.

[laughing]

And what do you find first?

There you go, the pyramid sinker

and what do you find second?

Come on.

Well, no wonder. Woo-hoo.

Falling asleep, huh?

Hee-hee-hee.

Oh yeah, go ahead.

Batter batter batter batter batter batter.

Swing, batter!

Boom. Now he's awake.

Right.

And the great singing debut.

[Bill humming]

Something like that.

Ta-dum!

Not yet, huh?

Look, I gotta lock up

'cause I got something to see upstairs.

[laughing]

Oh, Ed, you're just in

time for the big finish.

[ominous music]

Yeah, brilliant idea number three or four.

Well, I'm really gonna hate to do this one.

All right, and make sure

you're okay for the night.

Do it. Do it. Do it!

Even I couldn't do that. [Laughs]

[ominous music]

-[onscreen Bill screaming]

[ominous music continues]

[Bill laughing] Oh my, no!

[Bill sputtering]

[tense music]

[tense music continues]

[upbeat music]

So you like the way your lips turned out?

[Zine] Hey, you work

on the picture, don't you?

Uh. Yes, I do.

Oh, can I get a few words for the fans?

I would love to say hello

to the fans of the movie,

but I am on my way somewhere right now.

Maybe later.

I'll keep an eye out for you.

Okay. See you.

Bye.

Keep an eye out for you? Idiot.

You're Gore Times.

Oh! Alive and in the flesh.

I'm a big fan.

Really?

Your YouTube link is

on my bookmarks toolbar.

Really?

Yes, I love that you use

background and philosophy.

Awesome.

Yes, like use what you've learned

and not what they've taught you.

I can't believe you remember that.

And never let pride get

in the way of happiness.

You are awesome!

I remember almost everything you say.

Can I like buy you a drink or something?

-I don't drink.

-[Laughing] Water?

Sure.

Perfect. I also drink water.

We have so much in common.

[distant traffic humming]

[tense music]

[waiter] Just so you know,

I'll be closing up soon, ma'am.

[Ann] How will I get off?

That button right there will open the gate

from the inside but, uh,

just watch your step.

We'll be turning the

lights off in a few minutes.

Okay, I will. Goodnight. Thanks.

Night.

[ominous music]

[ominous music continues]

[Big Ed screams]

[flesh squelches]

[waiter screams]

-[reel rattling]

[eye pops]

[waiter screaming]

[knives clattering]

[ominous music continues]

[knife sawing]

[blood sputtering]

[flesh squelches]

[waiter gasping]

[suspenseful music]

[breaker cranking]

[lights snapping]

[thudding]

[tense music]

That feels good. [Giggles]

[Big Ed] You smell good.

I'm glad you like it.

I put it on just for you.

[Big Ed] I have a little surprise for you.

I like surprises.

[Big Ed] Something nice for you,

a little on the neck?

Oh, goodie. [Giggles]

[Big Ed] Let me put it

on for you. Don't move.

Please do.

[Big Ed] Close your eyes.

[ominous music]

[Ann gasping]

[Ann choking]

[Ann screaming]

[Ann choking]

[neck snaps]

[body thuds]

You want a hummer?

Because you have a really nice

kazoo.

Hmm.

Well

f*ck yeah!

[Sandy giggling]

Follow me, maestro.

There's too many people here.

Let's make it two fewer.

Oh, hey, no, you...

You didn't bring your glue right?

Maybe.

Seriously though, you didn't, right?

[ominous music]

[Bleck panting]

[Bleck screaming]

[Liz] Yeah, you're not gonna

put that off on me, are you?

[Bleck] Yeah. I mean, no, not yet.

You don't think we're

serious about that, do you?

Come on. No.

[Liz and Bleck laughing]

You might loosen them up if you hit that.

No, it's okay.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Here you go.

[Bo coughs]

-[all laugh]

It's not too bad.

You gonna be alright?

[Bo] Yeah, I'll be fine.

Um, do you know, why, uh

uh why there are Pop-Tarts,

but not Mom-Tarts?

Not exactly.

'Cause of the pastriarchy.

[both laugh]

It's the stupidest damn

joke I've ever heard.

How about right here?

[Sandy] Yeah, I like it.

Here, my lady.

Squeeze a cheek though.

Let me on this bad boy.

[McNutt groans]

-There's plenty of space.

Woo!

You ever seen it this hippy out here?

Oh, look at the stars.

[McNutt] I don't see any stars.

[Sandy laughs]

[subtle waves crashing]

[Sandy laughs]

You're good at that like

you've done it before.

[McNutt] I've thought about it.

Yes.

[McNutt] I'm from Boston.

[Sandy chuckles]

[kazoo toots "Camptown Races"]

[Kazoo toots]

[ominous music]

-[Sandy screaming]

[Sandy screams]

[Sandy screams]

[ominous music continues]

[flesh squelches]

I can't be rented, but I can be bought.

Uh, you are turning me

into a buying sort of guy.

I like that.[Zine chuckles]

Uh, I like you.

Do you think the seeds in

watermelon have much protein?

[flesh squelches]

-[ominous music]

Wait a minute.

Do you got...

I know you have one.

I always have a... [giggles]

It comes with the job,

and I am a professional.

Gimme your name tag.

-[Bleck] Goodbye as a man.

-[girls laughing]

Sativa or indica?

[Bo] Sativa.

[bottles clink]

Berry or mango?

[Bleck] Both.

Can we?

Okay. [Laughing]

[Bo] The other party wasn't this good.

[Bleck] Get the angles, baby.

-About showtime.

-Oh, sh*t.

[Bo laughing]

-[Iza] Gluten free.

[all laugh]

You gotta send that to me.

-Beautiful.

-Oh, you.

No freaking way.

Oh my god.

No way.

Oh sh*t.

[camera snapping]

[Goth Girl] What you doing?

Oh, nothing.

Come on now. What are you doing?

What are you taking

pictures of? Let me see.

[chuckles] It's nothing really.

I'm just looking around.

You know what, what are you drinking?

Bloody Mary. What are you smoking?

Um. Nothing. You?

Blueberry Elephant.

BE? Give me a hit.

Easy man, that sh*t will trample your a*s.

[coughing]

That's good.

[all laughing]

-Now, you guys.

-Here we go.

-All right.

And, okay.

[Liz] Show me what you got. [Chuckles]

No problem.

[Liz] All right. Show me what you got.

[people chattering]

-All right, girls.

-Don't post this on IG.

-Little more.

-[Bo] You want more?

-No, little more.

-[Bleck] Always thinking about...

[laughter] -You want more like that?

[Iza] Hike it up.

I'm hiking up.[Olivia screams]

[ominous music]

[screaming] Help!

No.

[Bleck sighs] Hey, wait!

[ominous music continues]

Oh sh*t!

Help.

[Iza] We need to help her.

[Bo] Back up, back up.

[Iza] Pull her up.

No. No, don't pull!

[ominous music continues]

No!

[Olivia screaming]

[Olivia screaming]

[Bo grunting] -[Bleck] Come on come on.

[Bo] Oh my god.[Women screaming]

[water splashes]

[Liz] Somebody help!

[ominous music continues]

[Big Ed screams]

-[axe thuds]

[Liz] Help.

[Liz gasping]

Help... Help me.

[Liz choking]

-[Big Ed chuckling]

Let me look at the camera.

Oh? Oh, okay.

But I really didn't see anything.

How... How do I do this?

You just look through there.

It's called a viewfinder.

I don't see anything. It's all black.

-Oh?

-My favorite color.

[both chuckle]

-My bad. I'm sorry.

Alright, now look. Um...

I didn't see anything really,

but what do you see?

Nothing really, just the

end of the fishing pier.

See, I told you.

Here, you know what? Let me see.

-Huh?

-What?

Um?

Nothing, nothing.

[footsteps pattering]

-[ominous music]

[Bo screaming]

[flesh squelches]

[Bo and Iza wincing]

[Bo and Iza wincing]

[flesh squelches]

-[Bo screams]

[flesh squelches]

-[Iza winces]

So you think you're a fan of "Mutilator?"

Check this out.

Oh my gosh.

Lemme get a shot of that. Hold on.

Here with us now is

another exceptional fan

of an exceptional movie,

Rick Fletcher.

Show us that tattoo, Rick.

Look at that. That is fandom.

That is dedication.

That... is permanent.

[footsteps pattering]

-[ominous music]

[netting whips]

-[Bleck whimpers]

[Bleck screaming]

[Bleck] Help me! No, no, no!

What are you gonna do now?

Stop! Stop, stop, stop.

[Bleck whimpering]

[Big Ed] This might... hurt.

[Bleck screams]

[Big Ed yelling]

[flesh squelches]

-[Big Ed laughs]

[flesh squelches]

[Bleck wincing]

[ominous music]

[name tag thuds]

Brains. I want brains.

[Zombie woman laughs]

[subtle waves crashing]

[Housekeeper screams]

Help! Help! Help!

[camera snaps]

-[grim music]

Okay, everybody out.

Everybody.

[dramatic music]

[Zine] Let's go.

I'm coming to you live now

from the wonderful Oceanana Motel

in beautiful Atlanta Beach, North Carolina

with some breaking news,

a Gore Times exclusive.

Actor, Bill Hitchcock has just

apparently been m*rder*d.

Mr. Hitchcock's deceased body

was found in the same manner

with the same implement

of death that was used to k*ll

Mr. Hitchcock's character

in the 1980s cult classic

film, "the Mutilator,"

the remake of which was being made here.

We are all just wondering

who could have done this terrible deed.

[camera beeps]

It wasn't me. I liked Bill.

[camera beeps] -Of course, it wasn't me.

Get that camera outta my...

-It wasn't us.

-It wasn't us.

Jinx. This is The Gore

Times signing off for now.

[camera beeps]

[Ruthie sobs]

No.

[camera beeps]

[RH chuckling]

[camera beeps]

-It wasn't me.

[fabric tearing]

[whoosh]

It was Big Ed. [Laughs]

I'm telling you it wasn't me.

[Joe] Okay.

It was Big Ed.

[Joe] I'm sure it was. Let's go.

[Jack laughs]

[Joe] Okay.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[cast claps]