01x06 - My Son is Coming to k*ll Me

[bunniefuu]

Yes, that's Betty.

[somber music plays]

And there's Matthew.

Yep.

That's Betty holding on
to his hand.

Yeah, it makes me sad.

I mean, the mother of
my children is no longer.

I mean, it doesn't even look
like he's capable, I mean...

there's no red flags.
There seems to be love...

between everybody.

[reporter]
The case began as a fire call
to a home in Castle Rock today.

Police were called after
firefighters found one person

dead inside the home.

Police say Matthew Buchanan is
the sole suspect in the death

of Elizabeth Bjorlow,
his mother.

Yes.

This one's hard to see.

I can see clearly that this is
Matthew, but this is not the...

not the Matthew that I knew.
This is...

Oh, [exhales], I don't know.

Yeah.

It's hard to process
this picture, you know,

because I know where he is,
and I know what

got him put there.

He had threatened to k*ll me,
you know, several times.

And I always thought
it was just words.

It's just like,
this can't be true.

Like I said, this is not
the Matthew that I knew.

[The Paper Chase's "What's So
Amazing About Grace?" plays]

[static crackling]

[strings continue
playing sinister tune]

-[knock at door]
-[creaking]

-[banging on door]
-[creaking]

-[banging on door]
-[creaking]

[fire crackling]

[banging on door]

[sinister chord strikes]

[Cary] So, this is my cabin.
This is where I work.

This is where I play.

This is my man-cave,
so to speak,

but I spend a lot of time
in here.

This is where I was when I got
the call from my daughter

and found out that her mother

was k*lled and that Matthew
did it.

And I pretty much just
collapsed in my chair

and sat there for a minute
trying to

process the information.

The police told us that
we needed to get out of

our house and find
somewhere else to be

based on the threats
that he gave,

that he was
coming here to k*ll,

which all of a sudden it became
credible threats, because now --

now we had the harsh realization
that he was capable of k*lling.

It's a horror story.

What are you going to do?

You know, what threat...

am I gonna face?

Is my son gonna be
carrying a g*n?

Is he carrying a knife?

There were a lot of variables
I just couldn't answer.

Didn't know what I would do
if I saw him.

I just didn't know.

You know, all I know is that
he's coming to k*ll.

[ominous tones play]

Yeah, this is
a cute little moment,

you know?

I mean...

when you look
at his eyes in here,

this is the little Matt

that -- that I started with,
you know?

He's smiling, he's engaging,
he's looking at you

in your eyes and...
just joy.

It was a joy at this point
in life.

This is a point in time where
I still had hopes and dreams

that he was going to...

do things in life and be
something that he wanted to be.

It's just like his whole life
was ahead of him.

[tender piano plays]

Yeah, [exhales].

Ah.

I need a second.

[exhales sharply]

It was just such
an innocent time.

When I look at the pictures of
him younger and everything,

it takes me back to that place.

Matthew means "a gift from God."

Not that
he's not a gift from God.

I still believe that he is
a gift from God and everything,

but does that mean gifts from
God are murderers?

It was Sunnyvale, California.

A friend of mine in
the apartment complex I was in

invited me to go to his church,
and I did.

Betty and I just met
and started talking.

Shortly thereafter,
the pastor says, "God told me

that these two need
to be together."

It was a natural
progression in life to me.

Who am I to go against
what God wants?

We used that, I think,
as a confirmation that,

you know, maybe there's
something more in this.

And together,
we realized that.

Next thing you know,
we got married.

[Cary] Say, "Hey."

-There's the little one.
-[indistinct] in this chair.

-He's sitting at his table.
-[Cary] There's the big girl.

Well, I've always
studied the Bible.

It's a joy to take somebody

and teach them, you know,
right and wrong.

And I would read to them Bible
stories out of picture books,

you know, so that they could
see, you know, we could talk

about the pictures as
we read the story.

[toddler squeals]

[Cary] And the idea was,
you know, teach them our faith,

showing love,
you know, kindness,

and trying to teach them how to
be a good member of society.

Right?
There was a point in time
when everything was great.

I don't know
that I prayed to be a good dad.

I just, I guess just
instinctually,

I felt like maybe I was.

You know, everything just
seemed to be...

falling into place.

[child speaks indistinctly]

[Elizabeth] There's Daddy
and his two boys.

[laughs]

[Cary]
She was actually out having
an affair for quite some time.

And, you know,
I was kind of stunned.

We've got these young children
together, and she's out

having an affair.

And she said, "There's things
that you don't know about me."

And I'm like, "Yeah...
you're right."

She says, "Well, I smoke.
I smoke pot."

But then she told me, she said,
"Well, I'm tired

"of being a mom.
I'm tired of being a wife.

"And I'm tired of playing
the goody-goody, uh,

two-shoes role."

And she says, she said,
"I want out."

Of course, I was overwhelmed
because I had to take on

that role of being
father and mother.

We tried to make life
normal again.

But, you know,
how do you do that?

It's like, just did
the best that I could.

Around that time, I noticed,
really, that something was

different with Matthew.

He had a mean streak.

I remember one time,

all the kids were
in the basement.

That's where we hung out.

They were just playing
with each other.

And I think one of the kids
squirted shaving cream.

And that started
a shaving cream w*r.

They started running around,
chasing each other,

trying to rub shaving cream
on each other.

You know, and uh...

and it was fun to everybody.

But when Matthew joined in,
he rubbed shaving cream

in my niece's eyes.

And while he was doing that,
he was laughing.

And I pulled him aside,
and he was still laughing

and giggling the whole time.
I was trying to correct him.

And I was trying
to tell him, you know,

"That's not playing anymore.

You could hurt her eyes by
doing that."

And I couldn't understand why
he thought that was funny.

It scared me a little bit to
think that he knew that

he was hurting her, but still
somehow found it funny.

My daughter told me,

basically, he put a dog leash
on her and jerked her down

and pulled her around
and treated her like a dog.

She said it was really hurting
her, and it was choking her,

and she couldn't get him
to stop.

To me, that was like,
more than playing hard.

That was like demeaning,
you know,

like a message to her that
he did not value her at all.

I confronted him about it,
but he denied, and he got angry

at me for thinking that
he could do such a thing.

What I really hope for is for
him to be honest about it

and say, "Yes, I did that,

and I won't ever do
that again."

Not hearing that,
I was very concerned.

I just didn't know if I was
getting through to him.

That was my first big warning
sign of violent behavior.

But I never believed that...

that would escalate to m*rder.

[reporter] 59-year-old
Elizabeth Bjorlow

died this week in a house fire.

One other person was hurt.

Last summer, Bjorlow filed
a restraining order

against her son, but it was
vacated by the court.

Police believe Buchanan might
have already left the state.

If you have any idea
where he is,

call police in Castle Rock.

[Cary] Pretty sure we were all
getting ready to go to church.

I mean, you can see
the big smile

he's got on his face
and the brightness

in his eyes and everything.

I mean...

I just see --
I just see joy in him.

He liked riding his bicycle.

You know, that was
his big thing.

You know, a father wants to go
out and play with his kids

and teach them things
like that.

And you take
the training wheels off

and you watch 'em, right?
And it's like

you have this joy.

It's like, "He's doing it,"
you know?

It's like you're putting
a piece of you in the world

that's going to outlive you.
And you just want to step away,

knowing, "I left goodness
in the world."

I mean, that's your hope.

That was my hope for Matthew.

The only time that
I ever became physical

with Matthew was...

I found in my garage some things

that came from a golf course.

So I thought Matt was
vandalizing the golf course.

And he stole some things from
it and put it in there.

And I talked to him about it.

And he denied it.

And...
and he laughed.

And I reminded him, "Matthew,

I am the authority in
this household."

And when I said, "I'm the
authority in this household,"

he laughed at me again.

I told him, I said,
"If you laugh again,

I'm going to drag you across
that table."

He laughed at me again.

I didn't know what else
I could do.

I couldn't just leave
an empty threat.

So I dragged him
across the table.

And I held him down to where

our faces were probably
a foot apart.

I frankly got
a little bit scared.

It felt horrible.

And it must have been scary for
him, because he didn't know

what would be next.

Kids don't come with
a rule book,

but I felt like I needed
to make a point.

I felt like he needed to
understand and respect

the authority that I have
in my household.

Oh, yeah.

That's little Shadow.

He's a very small...

Yorkshire Terrier.

Even for the breed,
I think he was a little on

the small side.

Matthew was mean to that
little dog to the point where

we had to forbid him
from being alone with the dog.

He would take one of our big
couch pillows and push it

down on him,

you know,

and kind of keep him
under the pillow,

like, tormenting him, really.

He never did anything to
k*ll him, obviously.

But as soon as Matthew would
come down the stairs,

Shadow would go hide under
chairs and pee along the way.

He was traumatized by Matthew.

I read so many stories about
people who k*ll people

start with animals,
and they desensitize themselves

along this path until
they're capable of k*lling

human beings, you know?
I've heard of all of that.

And that crossed my mind when
he was hurting Shadow.

But it was a fleeting thought.

I'm like, "Oh, well,
that's absurd.

"He's just being mean to --

mean to Shadow, and it's not
gonna go any further."

I always thought that
I could get through to him.

Maybe that's where
I went wrong.

[reporter] Breaking news.
We have a picture of

a person of interest after
firefighters found a woman

dead in a home in Castle Rock,


Police want to talk to
Matthew Buchanan.

He was last seen driving
a white Dodge minivan.

If you see him or the vehicle,
call Castle Rock Police.

[Cary] So we got out of
the house, and we stayed at

my across-the-street
neighbor's house.

And I could look up the hill,
and I could see our house,

and there were scary moments
because somebody on our street

has a van just like that,
and we saw

that van driving home.

All of a sudden, fear grips us
like, here -- here's the moment,

you know?
Is this Matthew?

Is he hiding somewhere,
planning something?

Has he identified the traps
the police have, you know?

Did he ditch the car
and get a different car?

Every time a car would go
down the road, our street,

I'm like, well, how do I know
that's not him there?

I felt like I had my neighbors
in harm's way and my wife in

harm's way, when all he wanted
to do was k*ll me.

I had a weapon with me,
and the fear

of actually having to
use that was, oh...

it was terrible.

If my wife was in danger
or my neighbors, then perhaps

I could have done it,
but I don't think

I could have pulled
the trigger to protect myself

if he was threatening just me.

I would have to use words
and compassion and love and try

to appeal to
the Matthew that...

you know, I knew.

I mean, I think love will give
you more strength than

you ever really know.

And I love him.

It was so,

so painful.

All the effort into
raising him...

and everything, and then it
comes down to this.

[birds singing]

[somber piano playing]

[Cary] It's the most important
thing in my life, my faith.

I believe in God.
I believe in a sovereign God.

And I believe it when he says,
"All things work out for

the good for those
who love God."

The events that occurred,

it never made me question
my faith.

I don't know what God's plan
is, but I just pray

that he's got something
for Matthew.

My wife and I have this
same prayer.

Between us, we have
five children.

And our greatest prayer is
salvation for each of them.

And of course,
that includes Matthew.

We feel deeply that
he needs...

salvation.

Heavenly Father, we just come
to you with our burdens.

We ask for
comfort for the family

who love and lost Betty.

And we ask you, Lord,
for a work in Matthew's heart

and his mind and bring him back
to a place where

he can understand...

the things that he's done
and really look to restore

his relationship with you
and ask for forgiveness.

We just ask these things in
the name of Jesus.

Amen.

He became angry,
and he was more unruly,

challenging authority.

I don't know what was going
through his mind,

but yeah, he was not respectful
to us at that point in time.

Matthew hated my rules.

You know, I mean,
they were completely reasonable

rules, but Matthew seemed to
not like rules at all.

Our relationship started to
change at that point.

She said, "Well, the next time
you bring your girlfriend here,

make sure she takes
her red panties home with her."

And I'm like,
"What are you talking about?"

And then she basically accused
me of having an affair...

based on finding red panties
in the bed.

And I'm like,
blindsided by it.

I didn't know where it came --
you know,

what the cause of it was.

I had a suspicion that it was
Matthew and I'm like,

maybe, I mean,
did he plant them there?

Well, I asked him about it
and he said, it wasn't him,

and he was angry at me for even
thinking such a thing.

But with his history of lying
and everything, I told him,

I said, "She's using this as
the basis of a divorce."

You know, no empathy at all.

I have no absolute proof
of it, right?

But all I can say is
everything points to it.

Everything points to it.
He didn't like her.

He wanted me to divorce her.

I kept calling his phone,

trying to get a hold of him,
and no answer.

And I -- I --
panicked.

I got on the internet,
and I found police scanners in

a local area.

I heard a report about a male
that fit Matthew to the T

behind a building bleeding
from his head.

And I thought, "Oh my God,
that's Matthew!"

Called the police, and it ended
up not being Matthew.

Started calling his friends,
trying to track him.

You know, all of these terrible
scenarios are running

through your head.

You don't know if something
happened to him.

His mom had bought him
a bus ticket.

I wish that Matthew and I could
talk about what he was feeling.

Maybe I should have been,
you know,

that helicopter parent,
you know,

that snooping parent,
and looked through

his phone and... whatever.

I tried to respect
his privacy and everything,

but remarks were made in
the past about

how he could live there
with no rules.

I couldn't promise him
an environment with no rules.

I couldn't promise that.
I wouldn't promise that.

This is all about
my perspective,

right?

You know, Betty had
a loving family, so, you know,

I wouldn't want to hurt
any of them.

But I worried that he would be
in his mother's environment.

The drugs and the no
accountability and everything.

And again, this is just
my perspective.

It's things that
I've seen, you know.

But, I mean,
I really worried about that.

I put this video together
right after Matthew ran away

just to show Matt...

there was happy times.

I just wanted him to know

that he was loved, but, um...

kind of -- it's kind of
different to me now

after he did what he did.

Of course, I still want him to
know that he was loved,

but there was more hope
behind this

when I made it
than there is now.

Yeah.

It's different watching it now.

This crime happened in...

Colorado.

No one here...

knows -- only the people
I've shared it with.

I mean, I'm just the average
Joe on the street, just like

everybody else is.

It's not like,
a topic that I would...

bring up in any kind
of a setting.

I mean, as an example,
if you're sitting around with

a bunch of new people
and having a meal or whatever,

and they start talking about
their boys or girls,

whatever, what they do in life,
then ask me.

I probably would say
what four of 'em do.

And just leave
the Matthew incident out.

I don't put it out there,
but I do like to stay home.

Every time I see a family with,

you know, a mom and a dad
and kids, I'm like,

I bet they don't have problems
like mine.

They probably go home,
share a meal together,

read bedtime stories to
their kids, kiss them

goodnight, and then
they just have this,

you know,
wonderful family experience

and everything and something
that I used to have

that kind of just ended.

But it just makes me
very aware of my pain.

So there was...

there was definitely some anger
or hostility behind that.

There's never an appropriate
time to say,

"I told you so," you know?

But that was going through
my mind.

This is 2013.

This is after the phone call
his mother left me

saying he's not...

welcome here anymore.

And he came to stay with me.
And I took him to a car show.

It felt like
we were bonding.

It really felt like
we were bonding.

And he said, "You know,

I've done some things that
should make me cry."

And he said, "I don't have
the ability to cry."

That caused me a lot
of concern.

That means, to me,

maybe somewhere inside,
he knows

that he should be
showing empathy,

but he's unable to do so.

This is hard to read,
it's pretty vile.

He started this one with,

"Talk to me, you
[bleep] worthless [bleep].

"I am so done with you!

"I'm going to be the one to whip
you from existence.

I promise you that.
I will be the one to end you."

And he didn't communicate
like this when he was at home.

I don't know where it started
or why it started,

but when you read language like
that and you can't make sense

of it, you know there's --
you can't fix anything.

Every time I get one --
emails like this one,

I think I've lost my son.

He's somebody else now.

This one is "Repent, sinner.
Jesus is a fraud and a tool.

He's burning
in the lake of fire."

He writes, "I'm going [bleep] to
in the Buchanan lineage

with your head."

"If you will not accept defeat
by my reason and honesty,

"then I will pick up my sword
and I will make you acknowledge

what is right."

Of course, this cut me
pretty deep, you know,

thinking that my son is saying
this to me.

I don't understand it.

And, you know,
it did become a regular thing,

that's why I had to block
my accounts.

I pray for him,

but again,
he's a grown man now,

and I'm not engaging.

The police would share that
we got a ping from

his credit card at
a gas station,

I think that was in Kansas,
so we knew

what time he was in Kansas.

And of course, we have to slow
down and do the math and like,

well, where would that put
him now?

You know, you're listening to
a police scanner.

And the things that were
running through

my head, it's like,

if he does come to k*ll us,
you know...

you know, my wife was
over there with me too.

I couldn't let that happen.

[reporter]
Police say Matthew Buchanan is
the sole suspect in the death

of Elizabeth Bjorlow.

Buchanan was arrested in
Florida this morning.

I think we're here today to
talk about maybe

two different Matthews.

One who did this deed.

And the other one who
Matthew was before,

you know,
he became capable of that.

That's Matt number one.
That's my Matt.

The whole thing that created
Matt Two is a black box.

I don't know what was in it.

Who knows what's in
the black box, you know?

Influences, drugs,
environment.

But at the end of the day,
this is not the Matthew

that I knew, but the Matthew
that was created.

The truth is, I want to hear
everything, the good,

the bad, the ugly.

I just want to have
the raw truth.

[exhales]

Again, there's more there...

that's not addressed.
I mean, it sounds,

I don't -- again,
he's lied about so much.

I don't think what he's saying

is the -- is clearly
not the truth.

If he truly wanted to get away
from her, he could have.

He hung his head a little bit
like he was finally

admitting something.

You know,

I don't know if I can
consider that shame, or --

it's definitely not empathy.

It's like, "Oh, I got caught."

I mean...

this is -- this is...
Matthew lying.

The only remorse
I heard in that clip,

I thought I heard him say,

"I had a good life."

What a selfish position
to take.

Still, I'm looking for
remorse for...

for what he did to his mother,

not...

"Oh, look what I've done
to my life."

I'm not seeing that.
I don't know.

I don't understand it.

Betty's husband's brother,
who was a paraplegic,

it was Matthew's job to
care for him.

Well, he was in his room,
and this is all I'm getting

from the news reports,
while the house was ablaze.

His demise would have been to
have been burned alive,

and he couldn't do anything to
save himself.

What he did to his mother was
a terrible, terrible crime.

And then do something

that's going to cause
a paraplegic to burn to death.

You know, I can't even
fathom that.

You know, I mean, it seems to
me like this should weigh heavy

on him, and it doesn't.

You know, I mean,
he clearly m*rder*d his mom.

He was almost blaming it like
something took over

and he couldn't stop himself.
Don't know what that was.

I still can't imagine,
you know, because,

yeah, you know, Betty and I
didn't get along there

at the end, but who would wish
someone to be m*rder*d?

And go through the pain of
knowing that

your child is doing it.

It's just unimaginable to me.

And he knows that if
he set a house on fire, that...

Chris was going to die.

He couldn't save himself.

I have not spoken
with him at all.

After the sentencing,

I got my information to him...

so that he could call me,
and, um...

and he's at liberty to make
phone calls and such.

But I don't know where he is
in his head.

I don't know
where his mind is now.

You know, last I heard,

he was threatening to k*ll me.

I hope and pray that Matthew
has that kind of moment

where he realizes

that he's hurt people
and realizes that he needs to...

seek forgiveness.

I just hope for that
and pray for that.

If you can't be forgiven
for your sins,

then we're all in
a world of trouble.

I've already forgiven him.

I loved him the moment

I held him in my arms
at birth.

My love for him has
never changed.

Despite what he's done,
that doesn't change the fact

that I love him.

It's my son.
I love him.

This is the day he got
arrested for m*rder.

It's giving me chills
right now.

And, his plans were
to k*ll us all.

At that point I hated him.

[crying]
I wanted him to suffer.