- ♪ MTV ♪
- Sometimes, I'm like, "Why are you with me
if you hate me so much?"
He's like, "I don't know."
- It's obvious this engagement is now a disengagement.
It's over.
If she wants to continue this relationship, Godspeed.
- So you're bothered by things I do.
- All right, there's no talking to you.
Just leave me alone.
- I'm your everlasting punching bag.
- Yeah. - [yelps]
- Namaste, b*tches.
- You have to have everything planned.
So the meatballs are taking over.
We're doing a meatball night.
We got a party bus. - With the boys?
- What's up with the surprise, honey?
[yelling] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We have a big gender reveal planned,
and we've got to make a move.
[upbeat music]
- No one here even knows if it's a boy or a girl.
- We're gonna have a dynamite plunger out here.
Then it's the switchover into the reveal.
- I'm a chooch? I'll show you a chooch.
Bring the neck brace back in. - [laughs]
[upbeat music]
- Yeah, buddy!
- Party's here!
- The Situation is under construction.
- We're so classy now.
- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.
- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!
- Um, hello?
- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Yeah, we do it like whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah, we do it like ♪
♪ Yeah, we do it like, whoa ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah, we do it like that ♪
- It's gonna be a fun frickin' day.
- All right, cool.
- Meatball day.
- So far, the trip-- it's been a little boring.
- Tomorrow's our last day.
- Today, I wanna do something fun.
And with the meatballs taking over...
- We're doing a meatball night.
We've got a party bus.
- This is gonna be a good time.
- Did you say bye to Sam? - We did.
Did you? - No, I didn't see her.
- We didn't go to bed until :.
- So wait. What time did Justin and Sam stay till?
- With us. - The whole time.
- Until : a.m.? - Justin can drink.
Justin can-- - Justin's a good time.
- Oh, my God.
As soon as Sam left, the vibes got better.
[hip-hop music]
- ♪ I know why you mad when you see me ♪
♪ When you see me, when you see me ♪
- Oh, we're home.
- Oh, it feels good to be home.
- Oh, I'm exhausted. - I know. I'm dead.
- So, like, "I'm sorry that you had
to witness the crazy breakdown and meltdown of me."
- When you're yelling, I know you're
really upset about something.
- What have you done to me for the last three months?
- I'm out.
- You don't want to talk about shitty things.
- Bye.
- f*ck you, b*tch.
Look, I want to be her friend, but, like, I'd rather just
keep people like that who are intentionally trying
to destroy me away from me.
- That was amazing.
I want to thank you guys for always supporting me.
- Of course.
- And let me go talk to the wifey.
- Good luck. - Good luck.
- Thanks, boys.
Now that the gender reveal has pivoted
from monster truck to movie,
I've gotta get my honey's approval.
I've gotta run some things by you, honey.
- Oh, God.
- Tomorrow's gonna be a really big day.
I've got my boys involved.
And we pretty much put together what we would do for
the gender reveal tomorrow if we got your blessing.
We're actually making a movie. - But wait.
What kind of movie are we talking?
- It is a Western set.
- Ooh. - OK?
To start off this movie, I'm at the bar with my wife.
The bad guys jump me.
They knock me out and drag me outside of the bar,
grabbing my wife and kidnapping her.
- Oh, my God.
- So then we fight the bad guys,
save the damsel in distress,
and blow up the town blue or pink
to reveal the gender of our third baby.
- That's wild.
- So you're saying you're in?
- I'm in. - You're in.
[laughs] OK.
- - Movie set, to me, means,
like, everything is fake and safe.
So to me, this seems like the safe route to go.
And I kind of really love it.
[phone ringing]
- Hello? - Hello, Michael.
[spooky music]
- Hello.
- I would like to invite you down to meet me behind the pool
once again for your final exercise.
Is that OK?
- Yes, shall I gather the others?
[together] Thomaste is requesting
our presence for our final exercise...
- Final exercise by the pool. See you guys downstairs.
- Oh. - Oh, my God.
- Who's Thomaste? - You're gonna meet him.
- Namaste Tom. - [yelps]
- We have to do exercise?
- Ugh, another one.
- Are you ready, honey?
The final exercise with Thomaste.
- Is Chris coming? - I don't know.
- Oh, hey, boys. - Hi.
- What's up? - This is weird.
- Are you guys ready? This is the final exercise.
And we will be enlightened after this one.
- Let's do it.
- Yeah. What happened?
- Maybe.
- I don't even know how these two are an actual couple.
- So you're bothered by things I do.
I'm your everlasting punching bag.
Don't worry. Keep it coming.
- I feel like Angelina is holding him hostage.
Deena, where's your husband?
- I have no idea. - What about the other guy?
[laughter]
- Oh, man. - Goat Yoga.
[laughter]
[quirky music]
- Oh, it's a llama.
- I wanna do goat yoga.
- Come on in. Enter.
- I love, love, love, love, love, love it.
Oh, my God.
This might be the session of a lifetime.
I have been dying to try goat yoga.
- I see some new faces back there.
- You felt my energy?
- I see a new face, yes. - Oh, I was like,
"I'm a medium." - Great.
- This is gonna be a crazy meatball night.
So I feel like I definitely want, like, a woosah moment,
but no one's explaining to me who Thomaste is.
Like, what is happening? - Welcome, everyone.
All right.
We are here today because goats represent sexuality,
fertility, and creativity.
I want you all to realize the GOATs you are--
the Greatest Of All Time.
- ♪ 'Cause you the GOAT ♪
- Oh, thank you.
- Sarah will be guiding you on your final journey to healing.
You have done wonderful work so far.
I'm very proud of each and every one of you.
- Oh, my God. I'm in love.
- ♪ You the GOAT ♪
- I am one with the goats.
I love them.
This is, like, the best day ever.
- Try and get your booties in the air.
The goats are going under.
- Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
Oh, I felt something.
- Look at me, man.
[laughs] Oh, wow.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Apparently, the goats are supposed to help
with the move that you do. - Mount me now.
- They're coming in from the rear back there, guys.
Be ready. - Oh, whoa.
- I just feel the goat's hoof in my a*s,
to be honest with you.
I just got violated by the goat.
- He's going on me.
He's going on me next. [screams]
I don't know what goat yoga is, but after arguing with Ben,
I think I really need this right now.
- Oh, he just sh*t on you. - Oh, he sh*t.
- Oh, my God. - They're vegan goats.
Don't worry. - That was expl*sive.
- I feel like goat yoga looks better, like,
in pictures and videos.
Look at me, b*tch. Oh, sh*t.
And I have my drink.
Like, I'm not trying to get my drink ruined with goat poop.
Don't sh*t in my drink, please.
- Oh. - I got it.
- There it is. - I got it.
- Stay strong, Michael. - I got it.
- I'm just going to observe, if that's OK.
- I don't know what kind of back country barnyard activity
they got me doing out here.
- Any luck on the search for love while you've been out?
- No.
But I think Thomaste just likes torturing us
because he's not even doing the yoga.
We're all getting pounced on. - Oof.
- Ooh, right in the nuts.
- sh*t on, pissed on. - Oh.
- Oh, damn. That one let it loose.
- Nature's waterfall.
- And Thomaste's just, like, laughing in the corner.
- Now they pooped on my mat. - They're sh1tting everywhere.
- These goats are baah-d.
- Oh... - Oh, my God.
- My God. - That's a sheep.
- There's some sort of bonding quality,
being pissed and sh*t on by goats together.
- You have done quite a bit of work on this journey,
and I'm very proud of each and every one of you.
When I first met all of you,
you were a pretty fractured and broken group,
but I feel you are whole. - I don't know.
We'll see you next vacation. [laughs]
- One more deep breath, everybody.
[meditative music]
[screaming]
- What the f*ck is happening?
- [screaming]
- Are you OK? [laughter]
- The f*ck just happened?
- The f*ck was that?
[laughter] - He just walked off like that?
Like--
- That was the mic drop. - This the mic drop?
- Mike, is that the end of Thomaste?
- I'm crying. - Yes.
At the beginning of this vacation,
we were broken, and now, all because of Thomaste,
we are whole. - Now, what do we do?
- I feel like we had enough of Thomaste.
The meatballs are gonna take over the rest of the night.
- Everybody get ready. - Let's get it.
- Party bus. - Can I take a goat?
[goat bleating]
- The f*ck was that?
- Poor Vinny. - Are you a prisoner?
Blink your eyes twice. [bell dinging]
- Do you need help? - It's my birthday, b*tch.
Birthday b*tch.
- This got out of hand.
- I'm over it. f*ck this place.
- I think your lady needs a real man.
- Oh, damn.
[all screaming]
- Oh, my God.
They took Lauren. - [screams]
- Laurens!
- ♪ We just wanna have a good time, good time ♪
- I'm gonna dental floss myself.
Eeh, eeh, eeh, eeh, eeh, eeh.
- ♪ Everything is feeling so right ♪
♪ So right, so right ♪
- Are you gonna be a meatball tonight?
This is the last night. - I guess so.
- So me and Nicole called the party bus.
- Where's the bus going?
- Bar hopping.
- Vin, we've gotta go, like, right now.
You need to turn this off. And we need to go.
- So let's go.
- I was going to not go out with Vin
tonight because, you know, a couple of things happened.
I used to be, like, a hot mess.
- I--
f*ck you, as*h*le.
At least we're good now, but, like,
how long is that gonna last? A day?
- ♪ La, dee, da, dee, la, dee ♪
♪ Da, dee, la, dee, da, dee ♪
♪ Gotta live your life ♪
- Actually so sweet you planned a date night.
- I wanna to you just as being so amazing on this vacation.
I love you so much. - I love you so much.
- I wanted to, like, really do a prank with Pauly,
but then he, like, kind of threw me through a loop.
- Yeah.
- So Vinny--every single time he has a birthday,
something goes wrong.
I was thinking you guys could help me for this one.
- Wait, am I gonna have to do a fake proposal?
- No.
- I don't wanna propose to you with your ex
sitting two feet from me, either.
- Yeah, who the frick wants to do that?
- It would've been so weird. - Yeah, he's not invited.
- I don't wanna fake propose to you because
I'm gonna propose to you for real one day.
You know what I mean? - Oh. You are?
- Yeah. Of course.
What do you think? I'm just hanging out with you?
- Oh, my God. This is the best dinner ever.
Like, I can't.
I'm really happy. [laughs]
I'm really happy.
- The pleasure is all mine.
- [laughs]
- Bye, Cami, love you!
All right, meatball night.
I'm hoping tonight's gonna be fun because
Nicole and I decorated.
We have streamers all over.
We have pizza, pasta,
and you definitely can't have a meatball dinner
without meatballs.
- Nice meatball party. - Right?
- You actually got meatballs. - Lots of meatballs.
- Cheers, meatball.
- Cheers to a meatball night. - Cheers.
- Hey, Chris. - Hi.
- You want a drink?
- Got a little something here. - He's pregaming.
- With his seltzer. - Seltzer.
- He's pregame-- - He's being a loser.
- It's meatball day, and you're drinking seltzer?
- Yo, this is the last night. - Come on.
- This is the last night.
- Why are you having a seltzer?
- It's your wife's night. - Yeah.
- Oh. - Ooh.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Damn, that one hurt.
- What the hell, Chris?
Like, it's meatball night.
You're a meatball. Let's go.
- Very disappointed in you.
Very.
- Where is the party bus, meatballs?
- We're waiting for it.
- I saw her vag*na today, by the way.
- I'm just wiping my vag*na.
- OK. - You see it?
- Angelina.
She's showing her vag*na.
- Her clitoris was out.
- If I wanted to squirt, I could squirt.
- Oh, God. - Frickin' hell was that?
- It was hanging.
- [laughs]
- I go, "What is that?" - But does it suck you in?
- Yes. - It can suck you in.
- Literally, it'll suck you in. You can't get out.
- Are you abducted? Blink your eyes twice.
When I go like this-- - Do you need help?
- Are you a prisoner?
Blink your eyes twice. [bell dinging]
Are you blinking? - How do you--
- Yeah. - How do you push your vag*na?
- You just--it's just like--
- Are you kidding?
- I could squirt if I wanted to.
- Is he a prisoner, Angelina?
- She says she squirts. - No, I don't.
I never did with you, but if I wanted to, I could.
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Like, way to embarrass your man.
Like, what the hell?
That is terrible.
- She said, "I squirt, but not with you."
- [gasps]
- No, I said, "I've never squirted,
but if I really wanted to squirt, I can," I said.
- So you're withholding the fun with your fiancé?
- Damn.
- Poor Vinny.
- Yeah, but it's something I didn't do--
ever did with somebody else ever.
- Did you take it? - Here's--
- There's something wrong with her.
- Stop, please. - Huh?
He's embarrassed. Hold on--
- I don't want the shot. - Now you don't want a shot?
- No, I'll catch up to you. - Jesus.
You're mad now? - I'm not mad at anything.
- He's mad. - Chill out, man.
- Surprise, m*therf*cker. - I did--
- It's embarrassing. - Yeah, it's embarrassing.
Chill out, man. - I didn't say that
I didn't squirt with just him.
- The way you said it was, so--
all right, you didn't mean like that.
I understand. So just chill out, please.
- OK. Now, he's mad--big mad.
- Womp, womp. - Yeah.
- Womp, womp.
- Yo, if I got a girl that can squirt,
and she's never squirted before in front of me,
that's not my girl.
- I don't squirt for anyone.
- Bro. Whoa.
They were getting it on last night.
I heard it. I'm her neighbor.
It was like this. [banging]
- That was me begging to get out.
[laughter]
- Oh! - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Where is this gonna go?
[all yelling and laughing]
- Yo. I don't know if this is, like, their love language,
and they're gonna bang it out later,
or sh*t's definitely about to go down.
- That was a good one. Respect.
- Finally, the truth comes out.
[laughter]
- That was a good one. That was a good one.
Yeah, I'll give it to you. That was a good one.
That was a good one. That was a good one.
- ♪ Try to catch up ♪
♪ Gotta be quicker than that ♪
♪ I'm already at the top ♪
- Are you big mad?
- No. - It's giving--
- Are you 'cause I got you back?
- It's giving big mad.
- Angelina, she can't help but to be in a toxic relationship.
That's all she's ever known.
- Oh, can't take a joke, huh? - Ooh.
- You give 'em, but you can't take 'em.
- Oh, damn.
- Oh, I can take many jokes, my friend.
- Let's get out of here.
- Party bus is here. - Let's go.
- You guys ready? - Let's go.
- All right. The bus is here.
- Bus is here.
- ♪ Oh ♪
♪ This is the time of our lives ♪
- Are you upset we're missing the gender reveal?
- I'm so upset.
- What do you think it's gonna be?
- A boy. What did you think?
- Probably a girl.
What do you want? - What?
- Boy or a girl? Like, if we ever have a kid.
- Wait, what? [laughs]
Wait, what? Wait, what?
My heart's melting.
I'm like, "Oh. You're thinking about that?"
Like, would you ever want kids one day?
- Yeah, absolutely. - Hmm.
- I'm saying, like, what would you rather have?
- Oh, I don't care as long as it's a healthy baby.
What would you want?
- A boy. - Such a typical man.
- Do you even have to ask me that question?
- It just makes me feel so good on the inside
that Justin wants to have a family with me.
Girl gene is strong in this family.
- That's fine.
I hope she likes to play football.
- I can't.
[together] Meatball night!
[upbeat music]
- Hello.
- You can't go wrong with the party bus.
It's got a stripper pole.
There's drinks everywhere.
There's balloons. - [cheers]
- Don't let it drop. - [screams]
- Oh. - Oh, sh*t!
- Oh, oh.
[laughter]
- Whoever lets it drop has to take a shot.
- I like it, Pauly. - Throw it to Vinny.
Throw it to Vinny. - I'm not taking a shot.
- You have to. - Oh, my God.
- Don't drop it, then.
- You're such a downer.
- [laughs] - Such a little p*ssy.
[laughter]
[all yelling]
[laughter]
- I'm drinking for you. I'm drinking for you.
[all chanting] Pauly. Pauly. Pauly.
Drink, drink, drink.
Jenni. Jenni. Jenni.
[cheering]
- Happy meatball day.
Oh, I'm proud of us.
- ♪ Let's go ♪
- I'm here. - Great, we're here.
- We're here. - ♪ We crank it up ♪
♪ ♪
- We made it.
- ♪ We crank it up ♪
♪ ♪
♪ They showin' love ♪
- ♪ All day, all night ♪
[laughter]
I just hope Dren doesn't come out tonight.
I'm not ready for Dren yet.
- Dren and Meena,
stay home tonight.
- ♪ Get hype, get hype ♪
♪ Get hype ♪
- ♪ We lookin' right ♪
- Finally, Chris is starting to be a meatball tonight.
- ♪ All day, all night ♪
- This is all I wanted the entire trip.
- ♪ Get hype ♪
♪ Get hype ♪
Like, I get it. DJs are dope.
Like, I understand that part, but damn.
Spend some time with your man.
- The vibe between Angelina and . is definitely weird.
There's, like, a weird animosity.
They're not even hanging out with each other.
If you looked at Angelina and .,
you wouldn't even know they're a couple.
. and Angelina's relationship is getting wild.
- ♪ My whole life ♪
♪ I've been doing this sh*t my whole life ♪
- ♪ Let's get this poppin' like soda, baby ♪
♪ Ooh, hate on it, taste on it ♪
♪ Put your face on it ♪
♪ Make a disgrace on it ♪
- [cheers]
- Yeah. - That's good.
- Chris is being so funny.
He went from not drinking...
- To on .
[upbeat dance music]
- ♪ I gotta hit the beat ♪
[elegant orchestral music]
- It's, like, our last night here.
So I'm like, "You know what?
I'm gonna turn my meatball cake into my birthday cake."
- Would you be able to make a meatball cake?
- Tell him leopard it out.
- [laughs]
- And it's perfect for my birthday.
- Happy birthday, Snooki! all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- It's not lit.
It's my birthday. It's my birthday, b*tch.
Birthday b*tch.
My birthday!
- Like, Nicole, your birthday's in two weeks, mama.
- It's my birthday. - Exactly.
- It's my birthday. Love it.
Yes, b*tch. It's my birthday.
So meatballs have a stage.
- My birthday!
- Once those meatballs are sauced,
it's time for us to get the hell out of here.
- I would love to have fun tonight,
but I'm actually building another human being right now,
so I need to go to sleep.
[all cheering]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Y'all ready? ♪
♪ 'Cause we about to--♪
- Yo, "Jersey Shore Family Vacation"
hits different in Tucson.
This crowd is crazy. - What up, family?
- No, I had no idea.
- ♪ Get crazy wild ♪
♪ Crazy wild ♪
♪ Get crazy wild ♪
♪ Yeah, I ain't taking prisoners ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I ain't taking prisoners ♪
- I'm going to sleep.
I'll see you in a little bit. Good night, guys.
- Good night. - Good night, gentlemen.
- Good night. - See you guys tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow. - All right, guys.
- See you tomorrow. - All right, boys. Last night.
- We've gotta make a movie tomorrow.
- About to make this movie.
- It's time to get our rest
because tomorrow is going to be a movie
I'm never gonna forget.
- R. - S.
- V. - P.
[together] Gender reveal.
- ♪ I ain't taking prisoners ♪
- When Nicole gets in a funk,
there's no getting her out of it.
- So I think it's best we better get her home.
- ♪ Got that rollin ♪
♪ She's a good girl ♪
♪ She's my best friend ♪
- ♪ She's an A+, she's a queen ♪
- Ooh. - Oh, my God.
- Oh, God. - Oh, my God.
Oh, sh*t.
- Yeah, I'm not good.
- I'm not, either.
[rousing music]
- ♪ We came here to conquer ♪
♪ No, we can't lose ♪
♪ You won't bring us down ♪
- [grunts]
- Whoa, hey, you all right? sh*t.
- That's what I said. I'm not OK.
[laughs]
At least I didn't do anything embarrassing.
Where's Chris? Chris?
Did he leave me?
- [gibberish] Hey, hey.
Hey. - OK.
- Well, this was meatball day.
- Meatball day was a f*cking success.
- Dirty stay-outs! - Dirty stay-outs!
You didn't even f*cking celebrate my birthday.
You guys are f*cking assholes.
- It's not your birthday yet.
- D? Help.
Where's Deena?
No, I can't do it. Where's Deena?
- I'm gonna burp. - f*ck all of you.
- Nicole, I'm gonna burp on you right now.
- D. D, do you have the room key?
I need it now.
- Are you f*cking sneezing? - Dude, you were--
- Sneezing? Yeah, opposite.
- Get in the confessional. - Opposite.
- It's my birthday.
- I'm sneezing through my stomach.
Damn.
- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ - [retches]
- Yo.
- Do you want me to get you an algae pill?
- Deena, do you have the g*dd*mn--
algae? Seriously?
- The guardian.
Are you a guardian of the galaxy?
- What happened to me-- you guys f*cking left me.
I was throwing up downstairs in the lobby.
D, do you have the room key?
D, do you have the room key?
- Why did your eyes get so big?
- I was throwing up in the bathroom downstairs.
- [laughs] - You threw up in the bathroom?
- Yes. D, do you have the room key?
- Are you OK? - No.
- Uh, yes. Happy birthday, Nicole.
- Thank you. - Whoa.
What did he eat?
- Yeah, I really threw up. Yeah.
- Wait, Chris. Are you OK, though?
- D, do you have the room key or no?
- No. - No.
- Can you give him the room key, please?
- All right. I'll wait for you outside.
Vin, .. - Good night, man.
Good sh*t. - See ya.
- For some reason, I think that that pasta that he ate...
- Pesto?
- Was not cooked right. - Oh, today.
- Look what you did, you little jerks.
- I feel like I'm not OK.
I'm absolutely OK.
No.
- We have a burger for you. Come on.
- Damn. That's really good.
- When someone's sucking d*ck for Cheez Doodles,
that's a problem.
- I'm starving.
- I'm legit having a bite of this.
- You should. Yeah.
[upbeat pop music]
- ♪ Well, my mind is a floating ♪
♪ I'm not crazy ♪
♪ I'm--♪ - Oh, that's good.
- You have f*cking mayonnaise on your face.
This got out of hand.
- Deena, you still look so beautiful like this.
- Thank you.
- Babe, I'ma head back to the room, all right?
- I'm gonna come with you. - Bye-bye.
Sick f*cking birthday.
Yeah. We'll go to bed.
Let's go. I'm over it.
f*ck this place.
- ♪ It's a good day, whoa ♪
♪ It's a good morning ♪
[knocking]
- Who is it?
- Howdy, partner.
- I don't need housekeeping.
- No, thank you. - What's up, man?
No, thank you.
- You ready to be cowboys today?
- Yeah, let's get it.
Tucson--it is the final day.
And what a vacation it has been.
- Where is everyone? - I don't know.
I'm about to make a movie today, though.
- Mm-hmm.
- Today is extra special.
It is gender reveal day.
- How do you think the meatballs are doing?
- They're about to be hurting today.
- ♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
- Goodness gracious.
Dead.
Our meatball night last night got a little out of control.
- [grunts]
- Whoa, hey.
You all right?
- Last night got the best of us.
He's dead.
Are you ready, Nicole?
- No, I'm throwing up all morning.
I'm not OK.
- You have no shoes on. - I know.
I'm gonna go get my shoes. - [laughs]
- I don't feel good.
- Today is such a big day.
It's gender reveal day.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way
to top jumping out of a plane is to make a movie.
[laughter]
- I never imagined in my wildest dreams
this gender reveal would be coming down to a bottle of TNT
on, like, a Western movie set in the middle of the desert.
- Here's the plan, OK?
The girls have no idea that today is a gender reveal.
The boys do.
So we're gonna let them know that we are going to Old Tucson
as an activity for the day.
We're gonna take photos.
And we're gonna be very vague because
we wanna also make this sort of surprise as well for the girls.
- OK.
We truly don't know the gender of this baby,
so this is how I'm finding out, too.
So this is a big moment for us.
I'm gonna be looking at baby furniture on the plane home.
- Think Vinny and Ang got into a fight last night?
- You think they did? - That's a good question.
- I don't know. You think so?
- Yeah, I don't think they actually even like each other.
The same thing happened with Chris L.
- See, baby, a camera's here. - Oh, it stinks already.
- Close the f*cking door, man.
- You got problems. - Come on, get out of here.
It's hairspray, you idiot. - I don't care.
That's what I have.
- It reached a point where you meet the guy,
and they look like they're, like, happy.
- Yes.
- And then you reach a point where you're like,
"These two hate each other." - Yes.
- When it was, like, the demise of Angelina and Chris L.,
we never knew if they were together or not.
Then he would show up on vacation.
Then they wouldn't talk to each other.
They wouldn't show each other any affection.
- [screams]
- And look how that turned out.
Well, this is the exact same thing.
- Why would you bring him if they don't like each other?
- Well, she definitely needs, like, a buffer
because she doesn't want to go in it alone.
- I think she needs somebody to watch the cats.
- Vin?
Are you ready to go? - Yeah, I'm ready.
- Is my dog, like, fed, everything?
Do you mind, like, just helping me with that?
- I already did.
I already took care of everything, as usual.
She's good. - Are you sure?
- Yes.
- Because you know we have to make sure she's OK.
- Yeah, I know. Believe me. I know.
- Today's the big day? - Yup.
- Today's the big day.
- The girls don't know it's a gender reveal day today.
- Oh.
- So when they come in here, we are just
going to do an activity today.
And then when we get there,
we're gonna obviously do our thing.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, what's up, what's up?
- Damn, what up, Deena?
Deena, you look good, though.
- Thanks, Mike.
- If there's anybody could bounce back from crazy nights,
it's you and Nicole.
- The hot, lit, dirty stay-outs.
- Ugh.
- Deena, is Chris OK? - No, he's not.
[laughs] - Oh.
- He's not great.
- The problem with meatball night--
it has meatball morning.
- I feel like I only had, like, two drinks at the club.
- No. - I didn't--
I feel like I only--
- No.
- Oh, my God.
- I wanna k*ll myself. I'm literally gonna die.
- Anyways, what are we doing today?
- Anyway, today, guys, is our last day.
And we're actually going to Old Tucson.
It's an historic site in the area.
And get ready to take photos.
Get ready to act out your wildest Western dreams.
- Well, let's go.
- Old Tucson, let's go.
- I feel like Mike stinks at planning,
so I'm a little concerned of what this whole event
and plan is for today. - What is this?
Is this a f*cking circus?
[dramatic music]
- All right, it's happening, guys.
- Let's go. - What the f*ck is this?
- Can we just get out? - Come on.
- Everyone's waiting for you. - No one's waiting on me.
- Yeah, they are.
Come on, let's go. - Hello, hello.
Afternoon, everybody.
How are we doing today? - [cheers]
- Good, good, good. Welcome to Old Tucson.
This is Arizona's premiere theme park and attraction.
We've been around since .
Let's introduce you to the town a little bit.
Come on and follow me.
- What the hell is going on?
- We have a saloon, guys. - Oh, yeah.
Absolutely. For sure. - Oh, wow.
- Would anybody like to go inside and have a drink?
- Yeah. - All right.
Welcome to the Grand Palace Saloon.
- I like it here. - Yeah.
- Go ahead. Go ahead.
- Go, honey. - Oh, there you go.
- Oh. - Yeah.
[ragtime music]
- Ooh. - What the hell?
- What in tarnation?
These people are actually from the s.
- We see the cowboys.
And they are full-on in character right now.
- Go ahead. Belly up to the bar.
Yeah, give the ladies a seat.
- They're, like, mean-mugging us.
Like, they want to fight us.
- Why is everyone acting weird?
- And everybody senses something's going on.
- Something's fishy.
- I'm sitting next to Zack in case sh*t pops off.
- Can I get a diet soda, please?
- Diet soda, coming up.
- What is happening?
- Wait, wait. Look, look, look, look, look.
- They're all walking out. - Where are they going?
- Yeah, they're doing some shitty-a*s sh*t.
- Where are you guys going? - Where you going?
- Going to the gift shop.
- Why are you being weird towards us?
- We're taking funny photos.
- My cousin fell.
- [laughs] My cousin fell.
- Yeah, your cousin's here.
- The plan is right now, we're gonna go get
into character, throw our costumes on.
- I love when they don't know stuff.
The girls are always paranoid.
- And meanwhile, we're leaving Mike
to get thrown out of the bar by a cowboy
and them to run off with Laurens.
- Look at me, man.
- Hey, Fancy Face.
Let me talk to you.
- Excuse me? - Come on over.
Let me talk to you. - Hey, now.
- Honey, honey, come here for a second.
- Hey, now.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- I think your lady needs a real man.
- Oh, damn.
- Yeah, so... - Damn.
- You might wanna get out of here.
- Listen, listen.
- I'm tired of talking. - Oof.
[all screaming]
- Oh, my God.
b*tch, that looked like it hurt.
- Laurens!
Laurens! - He took Lauren!
- They took Lauren. - Laurens!
- She's mine now!
- [screams] - Laurens.
- Oh, my-- - Where's Lauren?
[eagle screeches]
- It's gonna be a movie.
- We've gotta go do something.
- Mike? - Lauren?
- He took Laurens.
- Are we supposed to interact?
Are we supposed to find them?
Is this, like, a m*rder mystery?
- I don't know.
- What do we do here?
- Where's our friend?
- There's a new sheriff in town,
and his name is Big Daddy Sitch.
[g*nsh*t]
- [spits] When you spit, it looks cool.
[dramatic music]
- I need your help.
We can't talk about it after,
and we're gonna hurt some people.
[together] Whose horse we takin'?
- [whistles]
- ♪ Well, I get high ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
- Yeah, buddy.
♪ ♪
- ♪ And I won't hide ♪
- That's hogwash!
- ♪ I get high ♪
[eagle screeches]
♪ ♪
- What's up, pussies?
[together] Oh, my God.
- Where's my honey?
- I want this guy.
- Oh, my-- - Oh, sh*t.
♪ ♪
- Get him. - Dang.
[cheering]
[grunting]
- Get him, Pauly. - Oh.
- Get him.
- Get him, Pauly. - Oh!
- Drag his a*s. - Hey.
- Drag his-- - Oh.
- [screams]
- I feel like we're extras in a movie right now.
- Ooh. - Oh.
- But why? Like, what is this?
- I got your honey.
- Oh, we gonna see about that.
- Get him, Mike.
- Look at the way he runs up the stairs.
[laughter]
- I can literally watch Mike run up and down things all day.
It's like a fat Charlie Chaplin.
[laughs] - Oh, my God.
- [laughs]
- Get him, Mike.
[laughter]
- Oh.
[yelling]
- Oh, my God.
- Where is she? Where is my honey?
- He sounds like Batman. Where is she?
- I feel like I'm in a f*cking Western right now.
- Where is my honey?
- Did they actually, like, learn how to be actors?
Like, what is going on?
- We gotta find my honey.
- Let's go.
- Look at me, man. - Where's Lauren?
- Where's my honey?
- There she is. - Lauren.
- Is it dynamite? - You want her?
Come get her.
- f*ck him up.
- Mike.
- Look at that. - Go, Mike.
- Best brothers.
- Double clothesline. - See what I'm saying?
- Oh, my God. - Get him, Ron.
- Come on.
- That's my wife. - Yeah.
- That's what you get.
- Get your grubby hands off--
- You messed with the wrong Guido.
- Get in there. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[applause]
- You did it.
- Let's see how tough are up here.
- What?
- Go get him.
What's he--gonna jump up?
[laughter] - Oh, my God.
- [laughs] - He clumsy.
He's funny.
[laughter]
- Oh, my-- why is he so awkward?
- [laughs]
[silly music]
- Go get him, Mike. Knock that boy out.
- Come on. - Yeah.
- Oh.
- [screams] - Yeah.
- [cheers]
- Honey, we have one last thing to do...
- It's happening.
- Find out the gender of our baby.
[cheering]
- Never in my wildest dreams did I think that
the gender reveal would be this insane.
Typical Mike.
- Yeah!
- This is, like, the most dramatic way
of showing a gender...
- We got candy for everybody.
- But this is f*cking iconic.
- Wait till you see it over here.
All right, are we ready?
- I'm gonna try not to f*ck it up this time, guys.
- All right, honey. I love you.
- I love you. - Let's do it.
- Hey, party for-- - I love love.
- Go. [expl*si*n]
[all screaming]
- I knew it. I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it. I knew it.
- Holy sh*t.
It is a girl.
I am so excited.
- Congratulations.
- A girl.
- I'm so proud of you two.
- The boys are outnumbered.
- I could just cry right now.
Me and my honeys--
We're having another girl.
Oh, God.
- Oh. - You stressed?
- You stressed out?
- Oh.
- In my truest heart of hearts, I really wanted
Mia Bella to have a little sister.
And, of course, Romeo now reigns king in our house
and gets to protect his baby sisters.
So I'm so excited it's a girl.
[laughs]
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- [laughs]
[dramatic music]
- Oh. - Oh.
- Yeah. - Oh.
- Oh.
- We were trying to avoid making a "Godfather III."
And I would have to rate this gender reveal a ten.
- Oh, we made it. - We made it.
We did it.
[together] It's a girl!
- Can you believe we're having three babies?
- Yeah, honey.
- I can't even believe it.
- Thank you.
How are you feeling, babe?
- You don't feel good still?
- We're ready to go, Peanut.
Look at your dress.
- You're wearing that to the airport?
- Yeah. - Dusty a*s.
- I'm so dusty.
- I'm really happy for you guys.
- Oh, thank you. Sit down.
It's a good way to end the trip.
And I wanted to just kind of sit down with you
and let you know, like, hey, you're the sister
we never knew we needed. You know?
We just wanna see you happy.
It could be single Angeliners.
It could be with whoever.
- That's just-- it's been a lot.
- You don't necessarily have to be in a relationship
if it's not a healthy one, but you have a big heart,
and sometimes, you rush into things,
and you have rushed into maybe the relationship with your dad.
I know you--
- Which turned into a sh*t show.
- Yes, and then we thought you may have rushed
into something with Vinny ..
- You think?
- I mean, right now, I feel like it's best for me
to get my life in order.
I do love Vin.
- You know, you brought him here for a reason.
You have every right to make those decisions to see
if you want to fix things and work things out
and figure it out, but at any time,
you raise your hand, we'll be here.
- Thank you guys. - Yeah.
- I appreciate that. I really do.
I've been going through a lot.
Like, the dad thing was not--
it's not an easy pill to swallow.
Thank you for embracing me. - You're welcome.
- He texted me even last night asking me for $,.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't think I can keep doing this anymore.
- One thing at a time, Ang.
- Vin has not been home in weeks.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Yeah, that was hard for me. - Yeah.
- You can't just get over it in a few months.
This is something that I have to work on with therapy.
- I'm gonna start for real for real.
- Love yourself enough that someone else
is lucky enough to do the same and love you as well.
- I'm working on that.
I definitely am working on that.
- I mean, we've had our ups and downs,
but at the end of the day,
we just want what's best for her.
- I'm journaling now. - Oh, my God.
You are? - Yep.
Did you ever journal? - I just wrote a book.
- I mean, like-- - [laughs]
- Whoa. - I have.
I journaled in prison, and I journaled in rehab.
- Did it help you? - It did.
- All right, good to know. OK.
- Well, you know what?
Keep loving yourself and keep working on yourself,
and I guarantee you, magic will happen.
- That's what therapy is for.
And journaling is gonna help too.
- Yep, yep. - There you go.
- Yes, sir. - Whew.
That was one hell of a vacation.
I'll tell you that. - It was a good time.
- [snores]
- There's a flight for tomorrow,
so I think we'll just stay another day
so that you could rest.
- Yeah, there's no way I can get on a plane for five hours.
- Yeah. - It was crazy.
Like, Sam and Justin--
like, they look great, you know?
They're hella happy. - Are you OK?
- [laughs]
[laughter] - I'm here for you, man.
I'm here for you.
- Man, you look sad. - Yeah.
- You know, it feels good to be back
with everyone laughing and sh*t.
- It does. - You know, just--
- It's definitely a good vibe with the boys, for sure.
- I enjoyed having Ron around,
and I enjoyed having RSVP
a part of another life event for me.
- The vibes, man is like old times.
- Mm-hmm.
- And another memory to add to a long list
of amazing memories.
- It's good to be around you, like--
- It is. - We're laughing.
We're not in crisis.
- Yeah, it's good to see you continue
going in the right direction. - Thanks, man.
- Happy for you, man. Proud.
- Yeah. - Thanks, guys.
My life is now-- it just feels like better
than I've ever been.
I feel like I'm finally at peace with myself,
and I'm present, and I'm happy.
- Yeah, it's really good to see the change,
man, because some people just don't get it.
- Yes, sir.
- Ronnie did great on this trip.
Second chances are very important in life.
RSVP back in the building. - Yes, sir.
Let's do it. - And he's the R to our RSVP.
Like, he makes us whole.
- R. - S.
- V. - P.
[together] The boys are back.
- Look at us now. - All right.
- The whole family is back together.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. - Hey.
Deena.
- She's wearing pink for the gender reveal.
- Yep.
You're a little star. You're a little star.
Ooh, your breath.
Rancid.
- All right, we've gotta catch flights.
- Bye, you guys.
- Love you guys.
- Bye.
- And that's a wrap, puta.
- Let's do it. Bye, guys.
Bye.
- Everyone is ending this trip on a positive note.
Nobody's leaving fighting or not talking.
We're all just one big, happy family,
and I cannot wait to do more vacations.
- Sayonara to the "Sonorian" desert.
- Sonoran.
- ♪ What a time, what a time ♪
♪ Time is nothing if only a moment ♪
- Bye.
- ♪ Better not waste it on things out of my control ♪
[together] Peace out, Tucson.
- Thanks for having us. - Yes.
- [laughs] - ♪ Stay dreaming ♪
♪ Thinking 'bout where I wanna be ♪
♪ Stay dreaming ♪
♪ ♪
- The story continues. - Yeehaw.
- Justin has as announcement.
♪ ♪
[all screaming]
- Sammi and Justin are engaged!
- Oh, yeah, New York City, yeah!
- We're walkin', here. - What about me, man?
- I'm scared. - This is nice.
I like it.
♪ ♪
- What's that?
- These footballs are actually an invitation.
- He's invited us to the big game.
- Could I meet Taylor Swift?
- Hello?
[together] We're back, Miami.
- I love a yacht this time of year.
- Let's drink, b*tches. - [cheers]
- Wow. - OK, so Sam.
The first night at B.E.D.
- This is gonna be bad. - It's gonna be terrible.
- For a long time, I didn't stick up for myself
with you because you're a beast.
- What?
- There is a w*r going on
in Angelina and Vinny's room right now.
- You're an as*h*le. - You're lying.
- I am suffering within the love department.
- Do you guys want to be together?
- I don't know.
- You got called out on being a shitty friend.
- He's definitely upset.
- Ange, how can I help you?
- How can I help you? [burps]
How about that, b*tch?
- You were using my friend Angelina.
- OK, I'm using her. - Uh-huh.
- I think you're shady. You don't love her.
- I feel very slighted right now
that you're coming at me
some type of way that's not nice.
- No, we're not doing--
- I'm adopted.
I would love to know if I have siblings.
- Give it up for Vinny G!
- What up, what up? - What's up, my guy?
- How you doing? Nice to meet you, man.
- That's your sister, Luna.
- [laughs]
- Taking this thing off right now.
- You're coming in here very aggressive.
Get out of my room!
[all cheering]
[together] Family vacation!
- I don't want to say hi to you like we're good
'cause we're obviously not.
- We were all, like, making out with each other.
- I was hugging Deena and Nicole.
- True.
- The longer you keep it in your mouth,
the hotter it is. - [gags]
- I gotta talk to him to talk to you?
Get the f*ck out of here.
- I didn't like--you did that and really hurt me.
- OK, I don't care.
- I'm not doing this sh*t. - Oh, wow.
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07x16 - Happy Birthday Snooki
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series is a revival, sequel, and reunion series of the reality television series Jersey Shore, which ran from 2009 to 2012.
Series is a revival, sequel, and reunion series of the reality television series Jersey Shore, which ran from 2009 to 2012.