06x35 - Reunion (Part 2)

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Previously on "The Reunion."

- Sammi, has anybody changed?

- I think everybody looks exactly the same,

just even better.

- Not what you said in confessional.

- Ooh. - Oh.

- Do you think aliens come in peace?

- [yelps] [all scream]

- What? [screams]

[laughter] [Snooki screaming]

- Deena, we're going to give you a shot at geography.

This is also a state.

- This looks familiar. [record needle scratches]

- That's Tennessee.

- [laughing] How do you not know?

- But if I tell you something-- - Sometimes we argue.

Sometimes-- - Don't tell people my sh*t.

- Ooh. - Oh!

- What the f*ck?

[energetic dance music]

- And tonight...

- Back in the day when I first started,

I went home with a couple cast members.

[laughs] - Cast members?

[laughter] Whoa!

- Who doesn't love their seasoned as*h*le?

- [laughs]

- Have you ever been in love?

- Mm... I mean...

when you love somebody, like--

- Oh! - Ooh.

- [yells] - Oh, sh*t.

- I knew it!

- f*ck my life. No, no, no.

- Oh my-- oh, there goes your nail.

[overlapping shouting]

[all cheering]

- I used to freaking, like, go on dates with you.

- What the hell? - We did go on dates.

- That's so weird. - Wait, what?

- He brought up octopus porn.

- Oh, yes. Oh. - Oh, yeah.

- Squid porn. - Tentacles.

- Only the real ones know. - [laughs]

- The moral of that story? You're a d*uche.

[laughter]

- How would you feel

if Ron were to appear on a future vacation?

- Awkward.

- I felt a little bit, like, blindsided.

- If you tell Mike something, he tells everybody.

- If you don't stir the sauce, it's going to burn.

- Oh, motherfuck. - I think he's dramatic.

- Stop it.

[energetic dance music]

- We were both at the opening.

You were being that younger sister, just stirring the pot.

- I don't think it's stirring the pot, Mike.

I think it was just me just asking where they were.

- At the end of the day, it's not that serious.

- But if I tell you something-- - Sometimes we argue.

- Don't tell people my sh*t. - Ooh.

- Sometimes we have disagreements.

- But you go and tell Jenni my stuff right away, like--

- I'm leaving. [laughter]

I'm leaving. [laughter]

- Ooh. - Oh.

- Mike, come back. - Leave...

- He'll be back.

- And flip the table, and we'll be done.

- And then come back. - Yeah. Get two in one.

- He's being annoying. - The thing, he's dramatic.

- Does drama really sell? No.

- I'm dead. - It's so silly.

I think, like, I was being Big Daddy Sitch.

Angelina was being Angelina.

We were saying the same thing, but from a different voice.

- Can I say something now?

- And it was like a bad game of telephone. Sure.

- So with that being said, I felt a little bit, like,

blindsided because I was like, all right,

he's saying the same thing I'm saying.

And then, like-- - It happens.

- When I went to this charcuterie board,

I just walked in.

And, like, I didn't know that you told anybody that.

- If you tell Mike something, he tells everybody.

- But, like, why?

- I just felt that, like, eventually, it would be seen.

And, you know, it turned a molehill into a mountain,

and it didn't have to be.

- Next time just, like, let me know.

- Yes. - You know what I mean?

Like, that you told somebody something.

- No, no. I--

- Because I was really blindsided.

- No. I know you were.

- I literally, like-- I didn't know what to do.

- Totally agree. Yep. - Do you promise me?

- No, no. Listen. We're all not perfect.

As a result to being in the kitchen,

if you don't stir the sauce, it's going to burn.

- Oh, motherfuck. [laughter]

- That's a fact. [laughter]

- Families fight, and then they get over it

and move on and then they fight again.

- You're not family if you don't roast each other.

- Yeah.

- Y'all are the brothers and sisters I never wanted.

- [chuckles] - Yeah.

- We all still hate each other. - [laughs]

- Oh, my God. - No. We just hate you.

- Terrible. - Stop it.

- It's just you, Vin.

- Get out of here. - Oh, my God.

- Ang, regardless of what happens,

it seems like you and Mike always find resolution.

He did show lots of moments of support.

Even checking in on you when you were struggling.

Is that why you two are always able

to hash it out at the end of the day?

- I mean, I've known you the longest, like,

out of everybody, and-- - I did refer you for the show.

- Wow.

- I used to frigging, like, go on dates with you.

- What the hell? - We did go on dates.

- Wow. - That's so weird.

- We did go on dates. - Wait, what?

- You didn't know that? - I didn't know that.

- I used to go on dates with you.

- Wait, you went on dates with Angelina?

- Yeah. This is back in the Deco days.

- Deco was our spot.

- That was like Angelina's type, right there.

- Wait, how many dates with Mike did you go on?

- It's probably like two or three, right?

- Yeah. - Did you guys kiss?

- Yes.

- Me and Mike used to make out a little bit with the tongue.

- With the tongue, she said. - With the tongue.

- It was just a make out session in the car.

- Did you smash? - Wait, did you guys smush?

- I've never f*cked you though, but.

- No.

- years later and we're finding this out now.

- Vin, jealous? - You didn't know this?

- This is why I've been trying to tell people.

She wouldn't even breathe the same air as me back then.

- Oh, stop it.

- And here she was banging Mike.

- Don't even play that game right now.

- Not banging. - Wow.

- Finger banging. - Finger banging?

- Oh, my God. - He didn't finger bang me.

- Used to. - Used to.

- Used to! - Used to.

- Nobody just makes out on Staten Island, OK?

- This is new news to me.

- I think we should end it here.

[laughter]

Well, I love when you guys are in a good place.

The vacations are so... - We need to keep it this way.

- Fun to watch when everyone's getting along.

- That's it. - Something's going to happen.

- Something's going to happen. - Something's going to happen.

- What? - No, don't jinx it.

Namaste, b*tches. - It's not Jenni and I.

- I'm not doing sh*t.

- I always keep quiet, so it's not me.

- All right. So moving on. Now, just a reminder.

Tonight's reunion has a secret code word.

If anyone slips up, they'll have to answer

a juicy fan question.

Now, it's time to pivot

and talk about the vacation to the happiest place on Earth,

Margaritaville, Orlando.

Check this out.

[upbeat music]

- OK, were here! Yay!

Me and Chris come to Margaritaville all the time.

And I'm just excited to bring my roommates

to a place that I really love to vacation.

- And look who left their door open.

We need a little bit of a blanket.

I have some lovely decorations for Sammi's room

to help her feel welcome on this new vacation.

Pauly D put the note all over your room.

It looks like an event planner did this the Sammi way.

[laughs]

- Come on, Pauly.

Nobody else has ba*ls to prank me

with the note besides Pauly.

- Oh, yeah! The DJ is here.

[all groaning]

I'm not alone.

- Who'd you bring?

- Nikki?

- Sam, meet Sam!

- Oh, my God! [all cheering]

- Let's go! - What the hell?

- Fix her weave.

- I hate her. I hate her.

- At the club, was being bad? - Oh--

- Justin remembers me because he carried me out of Karma.

Was it because I was being a meatball?

Like, was I a problem?

- I think somebody punched you.

- Oh, God. OK. I'm the victim.

He saved my life!

- Take the hit!

Instead of Cavs, we got tanks today, boys!

- Chris, faster!

[all shouting]

- Oh, my God!

[screaming]

[rowdy hip-hop music]

- [screams] What the f*ck!

[screams]

- What you guys think?

I see a lot of smile on those faces.

- So cool! [all cheering]

- That looked like fun. - That was fun.

- That was a lot of fun.

- Now Pauly,

you decorated Sammi's hotel room with the note.

You also brought the Sammi dolls to Orlando.

Why are you picking on our girl, Sammi?

- Because she had been gone for a while.

I had to make up for a lot of lost time.

- That's true. - So she needs to be pranked.

- That's true. You got to prank her extra.

Sammi, it's been a decade since the note.

Did you ever imagine it would become this iconic?

- Yeah, I figured it would. [laughs]

Because at that moment, it was, like, crazy.

And I look back at it, and I'm like, oh, my God,

this is absolutely ridiculous. - Right.

- But I feel like the note is forever a part of me now.

- Sell it.

- What did Justin think of Pauly's prank?

- Justin is the best sport ever.

He actually thought it was hysterical and was like,

now you know you're officially back.

- Aw. - There it is.

- He's a good one.

- Now, Deena, clearly you're tired of everyone calling

your activities lame,

because you went full blown GI Joe this time.

- Yes.

- How nervous were you when everyone got there

and, like, saw the tanks?

- I knew they would, like, be pumped.

- Yeah, it really felt like you guys were, like, in battle.

Kind of like--

- w*r? - A w*r!

Code word. [alarm blaring]

- Code word! - That's the code word. w*r.

- Yeah, man.

- OK, Evelyn asked,

"If you could only shop at one of these stores

"for the rest of your life, which is it?

The Snooki Shop or Sweetheart Coast?"

- Oh, my God. Leave us alone! [chatter and groans]

- I think Evelyn is really-- - Yo--

- Sammi, tell him to shut up. - What's the question?

- Why are they doing this to us?

- I think Vinny wrote that. - You would support both.

- I mean, listen, I have to go where my loyalty lies.

I'm going with Lauren's Boutique, yes.

- All right. Good answer, Mike. - Oh, my God.

- He's like, wherever they going to give me free sh*t at.

[laughs] - Right.

OK, so let's reset the code word for everyone at home.

Let's get back on track.

Vinny, where does tank driving rank

and Family Fun Day history?

- That was actually a good one. - Yo, tanks, that was--

- That was a good one. - It was fun.

- That was the best one we did. - That was cool.

- Yeah. - It was up here.

- I didn't how to drive it.

- Yo, tank driving is on, like, the bucket list.

- You're the worst. - It's on, like, a bucket list.

- You f*cking drove into a tree three times.

- Well, I say drove into a tree because I was driving a tank.

- [laughs] - Three times!

- He drove a tank and tanked. [laughter]

- Deena, the military code names were on point,

especially Chris's.

Do Deputy Deena and Private Toucher ever role--

[laughs] - Private Toucher?

- She can't even do it. - Private Toucher.

[laughs] - Yo, Private Toucher's--

- What is happening?

- She can't even do it. - Oh, my God.

- That's such a bad joke. - I love that.

- All right. - Because that's what he does.

- Did he day that? - Yeah.

- Private Toucher reporting for duty.

- So do Deputy Deena and Private Toucher ever roleplay?

- Every night, baby. - Wow!

- Ooh. - Deena is spicy.

- He's not backed up no more! - They go to w*r.

- Coming up, another lucky shoremate

is getting a shot at redemption.

Plus, Xena The Stripper is here.

- Oh, damn. - What?

- Xena! - Here?

- I'm just kidding. [laughter]

But we will set the record straight

on strip club etiquette next.

[cheers and applause]

- Jenni was a hot commodity back in the day.

- Back in the day? - Ooh!

- Ma'am. - No.

- Damn. - Not like that.

- [laughs]

- My first, like, girl experience

was with a stripper.

- Ooh. - Nice.

- Damn!

- What's your wildest strip club story?

- Ooh. - Ooh.

- [laughs]

[applause]

- Whoo!

- Welcome back to "Jersey Shore Family Vacation" Reunion.

Now, we can't close out the Orlando combo

without talking about the biggest fail on the trip.

Deena, how is it that you and Ang could be dirty stay outs,

but neither of you could get it together and make a margarita?

- Oh, my God. - I know.

- And I actually blame Chris because I was like,

I don't think the switch is on.

He's like, it's on. I was like, all right.

And we're, like, doing it and it wound up

the switch wasn't on, so I was kind of smart.

[laughter]

Mine was like a protein shake. - Oh, those are vile.

- That's a very interesting base.

- I don't know why it was like--

I went in the fridge.

I'm like, whatever's there, I'm just going to use it.

- Oh, man. - I didn't give a sh*t.

- That's nasty. - A banana.

- Ugh.

- You were throwing anything in there.

- They were like milkshakes. - It tasted amazing though.

- Did it? - No, I didn't like it.

- It really did though. - Well, Deena and Ang.

Lucky for you, tonight you're both

getting a chance at redemption.

We've got our very own margarita station

with two blenders and all the ingredients

to make delicious margs.

You'll have seconds to make your perfect drink,

and Sammi has kindly agreed to be our judge.

- Good luck. - sh*t.

- Good luck. - Ugh.

- Don't make anything gross for me.

- All right. Which one am I going on?

Over here? - That's fine.

- Are we making bets?

- Oh, I know what I'm doing, Sam.

- On your mark. Get set.

Margarita. - f*ck my life.

No, no, no. - Wait a second.

- It's not opening. - Oh, my--

- Oh, there goes your nail.

- Wait. Is it open?

- [laughs] Deena put her nail in the margarita.

- [screams] - I'm going in.

I'm going in like a-- [overlapping chatter]

- We need more time! - Just finish, finish, finish!

[blender whirring]

- Oh, my God. - Oh, that looks good.

- Ooh. - What's in Ang's?

- I have no idea. - [laughs]

- Damn, Angelina. That was a heavy pour.

[laughs] - Get it, Ang.

- That's all tequila. - [laughing] Yeah.

- Oh, that looks like a tropical margarita.

- [laughs]

- Deena, go! Why?

- Deena, pour it! - f*cking--Deena, pour it.

- Pour 'em up. Pour 'em up.

[bells dings] All right.

Let's go, ladies. That's it.

- That doesn't look bad. - Nice job.

- Yeah. These look good. - I'm actually excited.

- It looks like strawberry milk.

- OK. Now Ang, give Sam your glass.

- Sam, I think that's really strong.

- I know. I am. [laughs]

- Ang, we'll let you go first. Tell us your ingredients.

- OK.

- It actually looks pretty good.

- Ooh. - Today, I used tequila.

I don't know how much... - Ooh, this is strong.

- 'Cause I don't give a f*ck. - It was a heavy pour.

- I used margarita juice? I use blueberries.

And then I actually squeezed the lime into it.

[suspenseful music]

What do you think?

- Mm. - Pretty good?

- Actually pretty good. - OK.

- Ooh.

- Are you serious? Yes!

- All right. Deena, you're up.

- So I wanted something refreshing.

- OK.

- So I did vodka, a little margarita mix,

some strawberries, cucumber, and lime juice.

- Oh, wow. - Wow.

- Vodka? - And vodka.

Vodka, yes. A lot of ice.

- Thicker consistency.

- Try again. - Mm.

- Tastes like a cucumber. - Yeah.

- Cucumber. - It's, like, very refreshing.

It's pulpy. - Wow. OK.

[laughter] - She's like [spitting]

- Honestly, I really like the flavor of Deena's,

but Angelina's was like true margarita flavor.

- f*ck yeah. Because I'm a bartender.

- But I like Ang--

- Deena, you're good too. You and I--

- Wow. - She hates losing.

- We know--we know-- - She's so annoyed.

- Well, get a drink. Congratulations, ladies.

I think you both have been redeemed.

- [laughs] Oh, my God.

- All right, let's keep it moving.

Now, everyone knows the unbreakable seaside rule.

Never fall in love at the Shore.

This season, Deena learned another important rule.

Never give your phone number to a stripper.

- [mumbles indistinctly]

- Take a look. - Uh-oh.

- Tonight, I have something else planned for the family.

We're going to go to a ratchet Orlando strip club.

- Oh, my God! - [laughs]

- Oh, sh*t! - [laughing] Yeah!

- ♪ Choo, choo, choo choo, choo, choo ♪

♪ What's up ♪

- This is more like it. This is a family fun trip.

Ah, this my style right here. Thick Lachey.

- God.

There's nothing wrong with thick girls.

I'm thick.

- I said that's what I like better.

- Oh.

- Every two seconds, Deena has something to say.

- Are we allowed to clap or no, that's not a thing?

- Yeah, we clap. Yes!

- Vinny went yes! [laughter]

- This is strip club hell.

Because a couple of y'all weren't there last night--

- Y'all? Why are we y'all?

- Tonight, we should go back to the strip club.

- Yo! - Oh, my God.

I'm so excited.

- Go to the strip club!

- ♪ People in the building ♪

- Yeah! - ♪ Let me see those hands ♪

- Watching the girls at the strip club

might be more entertaining than the strippers.

- You are so sexy.

- Yes, b*tch! - We love your coolie!

- Deena is living her best life tonight.

She's best friends with all the strippers now. [chuckles]

- You're so beautiful and so amazing.

- Is there any way I can, like, get your socials?

- Xena. - Yeah.

Or I could give you my number if you want.

"I had a good time.

"I hope we can meet again and get to know each other

and become real friends."

Oh, my God. Dude, is this Xena?

Xena!

This is Xena.

Xena, you're amazing. You're so beautiful.

- You gave the stripper your phone number?

That's like rule number one.

- I don't know how I even gave her my phone number.

- Giving a stripper your number is a rookie move.

- But she was so nice.

- But you just-- it's breaking the rules.

Instagram. It goes down in the DMs.

- This is your fault. - [laughing]

- You had to go to the same place twice.

- Such a rookie move.

- That was great. - Wow.

[applause] - Aw.

- Deena got a friend. - Poor Xena.

- She has a heart of gold. - She does.

- She was so sweet.

- Jenni, what is it about strip clubs that gets you going?

- t*ts. - Yeah.

- You were loving that strip club.

- The t*ts? - I do.

Since I was, like, , living in Queens...

- She started working there, you know?

- We've all worked at a strip club.

- My first, like, girl experience was with a stripper

at a strip club. - Nice.

- Ooh. - Back in the day.

- Back in the day on Long Island.

- Yeah. Wow. - Saran wrap.

- Once upon a time. - Yeah. Long ago.

- Jenni was a hot commodity back in the day.

- Jenniisa hot commodity. - Oh.

- No! Still now! - Ooh!

- Back in the day?

- Angelina said you ain't sh*t now.

- Here we go! Just like the last reunion!

- Not like that!

I used to work with her and used to get body painted,

and all the freaking guys...

- Ooh, she said she don't like her body.

- Girls, guys, everybody used to come.

- Ooh, she said you need to paint your body.

- Wait, you guys worked together?

- Ooh, stand up, stand up.

- No, I used to bartend and you used to work there.

- Yeah, body paint naked and walk around.

- Stand up, stand up.

- I can appreciate a woman's body.

- For sure. - Ooh.

- Ooh. Stand up in Deena's face.

- And, no offense to Vinny,

I don't really like male strip clubs.

- Yeah. - Same.

- I love, like, the female body.

- For sure. - Yeah.

- Vinny, you were trying to have a good time,

but Deen and Ang... - Oh, my God. How embarrassing.

- They were k*lling your vibe.

- Yeah. I was getting interrupted.

[laughter]

I was getting interrupted during--

in Orlando, there's no back room.

- Ew.

- So you got to get the lap dances right there.

- Do you go to those back rooms a lot with them?

[laughter] - So Vin, I have a question.

At a strip club, all the body parts are exposed.

What do you think about eating dinner at the strip club?

- I don't think that's, like, really that hygienic, honestly.

Like-- [laughs]

- Well, the best food is at strip clubs.

Even in Vegas, the food is so good.

- I know, but--

- In the one that he ate, there was a gourmet chef.

- Yeah. - Right.

- They had the best French onion soup.

[laughs] I loved it. - Oh, it was so--

- They serve French onion soup at the strip club? It's crazy.

- Ooh. - It's so good.

- I always thought you went to the strip club for dessert.

- Yeah. I'm trying to eat that spicy tuna.

- It was good. - Oh, sick.

- I thought you wanted the cream pie.

- I'm trying to eat the halibut.

- You like that fish smell then.

- All right,

well, enough of you eating sushi at the strip club, Vin.

[laughter] - Yeah. He likes bass.

- Now, Deena, you broke the number one rule

of strip clubs, and that is to

never give a stripper your number.

So what was it about Xena

that was like, we got to swap digits?

- So I think me and her were having so much fun.

She reminded me of my meatball,

because the first night, Nicole wasn't there.

So I was like dancing with her, just, like,

living life, having a good time.

- [laughs]

- Then, we took a picture. - Stupid.

- And then I guess that's when the exchange happened.

And then, she was, like, texting me,

and I was like, oh, you know.

I was just waking up to a lot of texts.

- Right.

- And I was like, oh, you know what though?

But she was so sweet, I, like, didn't even care.

Chris goes, you think her real name is Xena?

Deena, my name is Xena. I'm like, OK, Chris.

You think she lied about her name?

- I think it was her real stripper name.

- I think it was her real name. - Xena, The Warrior Princess.

- Right. - Yeah.

I think it was. - That's a good stripper name.

- That was her stage name though, right?

- It is a good-- - I think so.

I don't know her real name, but--

- Her real name is, like-- - Unless it is.

- Deena. - I don't know.

- Julie. - Deena.

[laughing] - I liked her.

She was--I made a friend. - Yeah.

- Imagine they hang out.

She, like, watches "The Boys" and stuff.

[laughter] - I liked her.

- Well, we'd love see Deena and Xena link up

next time you're out there.

[upbeat music]

Moving on, we're watching some of our favorite moments

from the OG "Jersey Shore" in honor of Sam's return.

And our next Sammi clip is the moment

when our sweetheart conducted an investigation of her own.

- Why are you even in this conversation right now?

- Don't look at me, honey. Don't.

- Did you grow some ba*ls all of a sudden?

You're big and bad? You're big and bad?

- Hold on. - I always had ba*ls, honey?

- Are you big and bad? - I always had ba*ls.

- What are you talking-- - Oh, you--really?

Really? Then step up!

- To be honest with you-- - Step up.

Really? - I don't fight.

- Can you guys stop? - Really?

- I don't fight.

- You don't want to fight because you can't fight.

- I don't fight because I'm mature.

- You're Jersey trash. - Stop!

- I'm classy. - You Jersey trash.

- Stop! - I don't like you.

You don't like me. - I don't like you.

That's it.

- I'm still not going to like you.

- Why don't you like me?

Because I came to you as a woman

and told you about your man?

That's the thing. - Who wrote the note?

- You two.

- Ooh. - Ooh.

- Oh, you missed the best part. [laughter]

- Angelina, now that this mission is accomplished

and you have your father's identity,

where do you go from here?

- My father-- - Oh, wow.

- [gasps]

- Back in the day when I first started,

I went home with a couple cast members.

- Cast members? Whoa! [laughter]

- I went home with-- - Damn!

- Yes. - Wait, what?

- I knew it. - I knew it.

- Whew!

[cheers and applause]

- We're back with the "Jersey Shore Family Vacation" reunion.

Sammi's return was the first surprise this season,

but the biggest belonged to Angelina.

Ang set out to uncover the truth about her father,

but the shocking DNA result

left her wondering what to do next.

Take a look.

- I just got my DNA test results back.

I didn't even believe what I was reading

because for my whole life, I've been lied to.

The man I thought was my father, not my father.

Mommy's like, I don't know anything.

I don't know anything. How do you not know?

How the f*ck do you not know?

Why don't I have answers? Why am I not being answered?

I don't have that right?

- No, you absolutely do, but I don't know

if you'll ever find that answer out.

- I'm at my breaking point. Like, I don't know what to do.

- Wow.

Ang, I can only imagine what you're going through.

How does it make you feel watching that back?

- It's like, sad, but at least, like, I know now.

You know what I mean?

And I always had a feeling something was off.

- Right.

- I didn't really know why I was treated differently,

but for years, I was lied to.

- Mm.

- Why would my mom not just tell me something like that?

My mom still hasn't spoken to me.

And she's been so hurtful. And that's really where I am.

- I'm so sorry to hear that about your mom.

What was everyone else's reaction

when Angelina told you the news?

- I was blown away, but I also was excited

for her to see what the next step was

now moving forward with this. - Right.

- Yeah, I feel like one of her main concerns

was her sisters because, you know, they weren't,

like, both parents.

And I want her to know, like,

me and my sister have different dads.

And that doesn't make them any less of your sister.

Like, don't lose that relationship

because you think that it isn't there anymore

because that will always be there.

- Right. - Yeah. That is true.

- Blood doesn't always define family.

- And I appreciate that for you even saying that.

Thank you so much for everybody being supportive of me

because I really needed that.

Especially Jenni. You said such great words.

Thank you for that.

- Doesn't make you any different, though.

- We also said that.

- We're family. Family's not blood.

- I feel like that helped mend your guys' friendship, right?

- %. - Yeah.

I think I was very guarded this season,

especially when it came to our relationship,

but I did not want that to define us

when you needed help.

- I think when the chips are down, everyone

sort of saw the big picture. - Yeah.

- And that's when we really came together.

And that's what family does. - Definitely.

- Now, after stunning DNA results left Angelina

at a loss for words, Mike knew the only way

to help her find closure was to open an investigation

to find her biological father.

Let's take a look.

- I've got a lot of resources in the streets.

- OK.

- And I'm willing to bring back the investigation. OK?

At the end of the day, not all heroes wear capes, OK?

Sometimes, they have a board.

- Why the hell is Angelina on the board?

- All right, all right, settle down.

- Why is Angelina's grandma on the board?

- That is-- - Wait. What the hell is--

[laughing] - That is--

- Why is Gene Simmons on the board?

- All right, all right.

- The investigation's back.

- OK. - Oh.

- It's to find Angelina's faja.

- As much as I love the investigation,

we need some professional help.

- I believe that she's on her way.

- I'm an investigative genealogist,

private investigator. - Oh, my God. Stop it.

Where do we start with step one?

- So the first thing I'm going to do is go into the DNA.

And then the key to doing DNA

is finding the common denominator.

And then it's gonna get real, guys.

- Her success rate is extremely high,

so it's only a matter of time

before she finds who the daddy is.

- I have been able to locate Angelina's father.

- [gasps] - Oh, my God.

[all exclaiming] - Oh, my God.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

I'm in shock.

This is all that I've wanted

for I don't even know how long now.

Is this real? Like, is this really happening?

I just hope he wants to meet me.

- This is a great day for you. - I'm sure he's going to.

- How lucky is he? His daughter is Angelina.

- Thank you.

[applause] - Wow.

- I love that. Thank you, guys.

- He actually found the daddy. Like, that's pretty crazy.

- He did? - He found the daddy.

- Like, how do you even do that?

- I mean, you, and you, you guys found Pamela.

- Yep. - And thank God.

I mean, because she just, like, hit it out of the park.

- She said she doesn't miss, you know?

And her results speak for themselves.

- Yeah.

- Now, Ang, Mike had several suspects,

including Vinny, Uncle Nino, and Gene Simmons.

How disappointed were you

that Gene Simmons wasn't the father?

- Very disappointed. - That would've be dope.

- You said it, too.

I was like, it would have been so dope, but like--

- That would've been dope.

- I mean, especially now, knowing some sh*t,

but it is what it is. - Yeah.

You know, Nicole, last year, you talked about

how you haven't met your biological parents.

And at the time, you didn't feel the need to pursue it.

- Mm-hmm.

- Has seeing Angelina's journey change your mind at all?

- I mean, it got me excited and curious

to, like, think about it.

It's like, not even to meet them, but just to, like,

see a picture... - Just to know.

- Or like, see, like, you know,

my brother and sisters look like me

because I've never had that.

I was an only child growing up, adopted.

Yeah, I'm curious.

Got to say. - Would you do it?

- Yeah. Now, it's got you wondering a bit.

Angelina, now that this mission is accomplished

and you have his identity, where do you go from here?

- There's a lot I can't say right now

because it's going to come up on the new season

that we're filming right now.

- OK.

- But it's not-- it's not too good.

- Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

- Yeah.

- We'll see how it all plays out next season, but you know,

you always have family here.

- I agree.

- Coming up,

Vinny's awkward comments had the roommates squirming.

Is it time for an intervention? More reunion next.

[upbeat music]

- Who doesn't love their seasoned as*h*le, right?

- I mean, I don't want things bland.

- Ew! [laughter]

- Have you ever been in love? - Mm.

- I mean--when you love somebody, like--

[all gasping and exclaiming]

- Oh, my God. - I knew it.

- Why don't me and Deena cook?

- Should we have a glass of wine while we cook?

- Oh, my God. Yes.

We'll be like, real Italian ladies cooking dinna.

[quirky upbeat music]

This is scallion, not f*cking garlic.

What is this?

- I haven't eaten yet at all today.

- Do you want to go get, like, a quick bite to eat?

- Let me just spread these chicken cutlets.

We got some stuff ready.

And then me, Jenni, and Sammi were like,

let's go out for a little bit. When we come home, we'll cook.

- I was really looking forward to eating a good Sunday meal.

- Yeah. So was I.

♪ ♪

- I love this little café.

♪ ♪

- Should we just start cooking?

- Let's just do it.

No? - Yeah.

[applause]

- We're back with the "Jersey Shore" reunion.

Don't forget the reunion code word, too.

If a roommate says it, they have to answer a fan question.

Now, there were a lot of fun moments this season,

but it's time to get serious for a second.

When someone you love needs help,

it's important you speak up.

And this season, the roommates spoke up loud and clear

when they said multiple times,

oh, my God, Vinny, shut up. [laughter]

- Not a Vinny package.

- Take a look.

- Oh, my God.

- Vinny, you're funny sometimes.

- Shots fired.

- I know. He's like hysterical. - I'm funny now.

- Sometimes, you're funny.

To me, you come off, like, a little bit annoying.

[all exclaiming]

- Oh, snap!

Oh, snap! What the hell?

- She's not wrong.

- She just said you're annoying.

- Oh!

- See, I don't even know if Sammi really understands,

but there's a word for what Vinny is, and that's chooch.

- I do like my a*s a little seasoned.

- What the hell?

- I don't want the a*s to taste like Bausch and Lomb.

[laughter] - What?

- Oh, he wants is to get the natural scent.

- Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

- Yo, Angelina, let me get some of that 'pus.

- What? - The octopus.

- You think you're so funny, Vinny.

You think you're so funny.

- Drinking, for me, is a means to an end.

Usually, it's ending with me FAPing.

- What's FAPing? - f*cking A p*ssy.

- Why do you know what that means?

- Oh, my God.

- Punch him. Just punch him.

- You're sick.

- You're just, like, a strange one.

- Vinny, shut the f*ck up.

all: Oh!

- You got your own segment. Look at you.

- He got his own section today. - [laughing] Yeah.

- The moral of that story?

You're a chooch. [laughter]

- Now, Vin, have you gotten raunchier through the years,

or have your roommates just gotten more prude?

- I think they've gotten all prude.

First of all... - No.

- They're all capping.

This guy's acting shocked about the seasoned as*h*le.

He knows exactly what I'm talking about.

They all act, like, holier than thou.

[laughter] - Oh!

Who doesn't love their seasoned as*h*le?

[laughter] Right?

I mean, I don't want things bland.

- Oh. [laughter]

- After you take a shower, he wants you to go out for a jog,

and then come back-- - Yes, sweaty butthole.

- Ew. - That's what he wants.

- I just don't want to lick, like, a big thing of soap.

- But you wouldn't want, like, soap

rather than, like, p*ssy juice? - Deena!

- Deena! - See? See?

Her husband is like-- he's just like me.

- He knows what's up.

I caught that dap about the FAP.

[laughter]

- If you love someone and they're clean,

and like, they're sweaty-- - So you love girls?

Like, you love them? - Oh, I love girls.

[laughter]

- No, you just said you love them.

When you love somebody, like-- - Have you ever been in love?

- Yes. I've said I love you to people before.

- Oh.

- Sorry, not you. [all exclaiming]

- I didn't ask about me. [laughter]

- Back in the day, I thought he was gonna be, like,

the first guy to settle down... - Yes.

- And like, get married, have kids.

- Boy, were you wrong.

- And then now, it took, like, a really quick left turn.

And it's like, nope. I don't know what's happening.

- Nobody deserves me. - Yes.

[laughter] - Yeah.

- So what's the most inappropriate comment

that you guys have heard him make?

- Oh, that's a good one. - Oh, I got a good one.

- Uh-oh. - He brought up octopus porn.

- Oh, yes. - Yes.

- Yes. - Tentacles.

- Squid porn. - Squid porn.

- Yeah.

- Didn't know that was a thing until this one brought it up.

- Only the real ones know.

[laughter] - Wow.

You probably have a good grip. - Oh, sick.

[laughter]

- So is anything, like, TMI for you or nothing's off-limits?

- Oh, no. I don't think so.

- Yes. Toothbrush. - Oh, yeah.

I don't like when anyone

brushes their teeth in front of me.

- So how are you ever going to get married in your life?

Someone's gonna f*cking floss and brush--

- She has to go in the bathroom.

We'll go in at different times.

- Let's just say he's not ready to settle down.

[laughter]

- Pauly and Mike, you noticed your chooch was sulking

and began Operation Find Vinny A Wife.

- Theresa, this is our friend Vinny.

- Oh, hi. - Hi. Hey.

- How are you? - Hey.

- Nice to meet you. - Mr. Vinny.

- He's the one that's looking.

- She is perfect.

She's perfect to be my grandmother.

[laughter]

- Pauly and Mike, how confident were you

about the prospects in Orlando?

- I think we were in the wrong place.

- Yep.

We were in the wrong resort at that time.

- Yeah, for sure. - Yeah, yeah.

- We tried, though. - We did.

- Yeah. - You tried.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- So when the boys did find you

a Sicilian sugar mama named Teresa.

Did you ever get to ride her motorized scooter?

- [chuckles] No, I didn't get a gum job.

- A gum job? [alarm blaring]

- Uh-oh, that's the code word. - Gum job.

- Gum job? - Wow.

Two people said it, Vinny and Nicole.

All right, Vin, here we go.

Andrea asked, if aliens actually invaded

and demanded to probe one of your roommates...

- [chuckles]

- Who would you offer up and why?

- Oh, my God. - [chuckles]

- Me.

- What does probe actually mean?

- Who would you sacrifice? - [chuckles]

- I guess Angelina. - I know it's--

I already answered the question for you.

- Yeah. - Idiot.

- All right.

Nicole, Jess would like to know,

what's your wildest strip club story?

- Ooh. - Ooh.

- We can't say that on camera. [laughter]

- Oh. Well, my wildest time at a strip club

was with Pauly in the UK.

So we got there about, like, :.

And I had to leave at, like, :, : in the morning.

- Oh, wow.

- We just stayed there all night.

- What'd you do all night?

- We kept giving each other money

to get, like, private lap dances with each other.

- I would get her a private lap dance,

she would get me a private lap dance.

- So I'm like, fine. [laughter]

- The UK is wild. - No, it was a good time.

- Yeah, it was fun. - All right.

Well, let's reset the code word.

You guys can follow along at home.

Now, Vin, you've been getting your Magic Mike on

for a few years now.

How has stripping affected your chances with the ladies?

- The ladies love it.

- Do you ever bring home the girls that come on stage,

and you do, like, your special events with?

- Oh, that's a good one, Dee.

- Back in the day when I first started,

I went home with a couple cast members.

A couple-- - Cast members?

Whoa!

- Oh, my God. - Damn!

- Yes! - Wait, you just--

- I knew it! I knew it! - What?

- Audience members, audience members.

- Audience members. - Audience--

- Wow. - You slipped.

- Audience members.

I don't even know what show I'm on right now.

- Why'd you think-- - Talk about sword fighting.

[laughter] - Yeah.

- Liar.

- It all makes so much sense now. [laughs]

- Coming up, Ronnie took the first step in making amends

with his roommates, but are they ready

to invite him to the next vacation?

We'll find out next.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

How would you feel if Ron were to appear

on a future vacation?

- Mm. - Oh, God.

- [gasps] - No.

- I can't take anyone serious right now.

There's a dancing alien behind you.

- Vin, you want to dance with him?

- OK. [cheers and applause]

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- We're back with the "Jersey Shore" reunion.

All season, Ronnie shared with Mike

his desire to make amends with the roommates.

He finally got his chance in Orlando,

and their sit-down was one of the most emotional

in "Jersey Shore" history.

Let's take a look.

- Oh, my goodness. - What?

- Ron just texted me, said he is on his way.

- I would go to Sam first

because she's the one with the biggest history with him.

- Now that you are back, I'm trying to keep the peace.

So I want you guys to go out for the day.

And I'm going to handle this with Ron.

- Oh. [chuckles]

[softly] Thank God.

- I want to start by apologizing to you guys.

You know, for my actions,

for the things that I've done that have affected you.

I've had a lot of time to reflect

over the last two years.

I've lost a lot of what I loved.

I really would like to start making amends with you guys

and enjoying life with you guys again.

- We all love you, Ron, but you've turned into a person

that we had no idea who you were anymore.

- I think we all just had to protect ourselves.

- I think it's not even only, like, protecting us,

but like, you're going to wind up dead one day.

And like, it makes me cry because

we were, like, really close. [sniffles]

- I believe that everyone deserves a second chance,

but you have to want that second chance.

And you gotta put the effort in.

- Wow. So Mike, you were in contact with Ron

the entire season.

What's the backstory,

and how long have you guys been talking?

- There's always check-ins, you know?

Over the past couple of years, he's been absent.

He has been addressing his mental health.

Things started to go in a positive direction.

Obviously, we didn't know that Sam was gonna come back.

So once she did come back, it was a scramble

to try to maneuver this very delicate situation.

- That is really nice of you to sit me down and just,

like, lay it on the table and kind of give me a heads-up.

I was very appreciative of that.

And I couldn't ask for anything more.

I'm so thankful they didn't just surprise me with it.

- For sure.

- It would have been so bad if they did that.

- Right. Now, Jenni, what was going through your mind

as you listened to Ron apologize

and talk about his journey over the last few years?

- It's hard.

It's hard because I have a--

I had a really good relationship with him.

And honestly, there was a lot of damage there.

So it was really hard to digest.

- Yeah. - It was really hard to digest.

- No. It definitely seems that way.

And Nicole, you were getting really emotional.

How did it feel hearing him open up

and just be vulnerable like that with you guys?

- Well, I was super close with Ron.

He was like my brother, my big brother.

So when he walked in, he just looked so nervous.

And like, I was willing to listen to him

because the fact that he's here.

He's gonna talk to all of us.

He pulled out a piece of paper with, like, his feelings.

It just-- it broke my heart because

at some point in my life, I did love him so much.

- Now, Sammi, you were very clear about

not needing closure or a sit-down with Ron.

How would you feel if he were to appear

on a future vacation?

- I knew coming back that if I were to do this

that that might happen.

So their relationships with him doesn't

affect my relationships with these people anymore.

We're too separate. We're adults.

I can totally handle it as, like, from this point on,

he's a coworker that I just have to deal with.

But I don't need to associate with him.

And we can just keep it moving.

- That's so big of you.

- It is what it is.

- Very mature.

- Pauly, you said Ron is taking steps in the right direction,

but he needs to continue proving himself.

What does proving himself look like for you?

- Just keep continuing on with the path that he's on.

Like, he came here. He apologized to everyone.

He did the individuals.

If he stays on that right path, keeps doing the right things,

baby steps, he will get there.

Anybody can turn their life around

if you really apply yourself.

I want to see him still apply himself

and get back into this family. - Right.

Well, we wish Ronnie all the best.

Coming up, tonight's reunion is almost over,

but we've got one last surprise for the roommates.

Don't move.

We have one last surprise for the crew.

[all exclaiming] - Oh, my God.

- All right. Ready? One, two, three!

[screaming]

[upbeat music]

- Here I'm nobody.

I'm like, emotionally exhausted.

- I just wanted to, like, talk to her just to stay with it.

You only learn. You grow. You move on.

You have to push through every situation that you're in.

The first night I was drinking, you drank a lot.

Did I not like you the first night?

I'm going to tell you honestly, no, I did not like you.

I'm like, is she that sloppy girl?

I, throughout the day, like, saw a whole 'nother person

and you made me change and realize.

I don't know this person. I'm not going to judge her.

You're a guidette. Don't go home.

I will be there if you, like, need me to be your friend.

Like, I'm that type of girl.

Like, they don't call me Sammi Sweetheart for nothing.

Like, you know what I mean? - Well, thank you for that.

[cheers and applause] - What are you doing?

[applause]

- Welcome back to the "Jersey Shore" reunion.

Our alien is back showing off his dance moves.

Now, before we say goodbye to another wild vacation,

we have one last surprise for the crew.

Deena, take it away.

- OK, guys. Biggest reunion, of course,

I have to get everybody a t-shirt.

This is one of the best. - I'm dead.

- So this is-- - I'm gonna stand up.

- Making memories. - This is one to remember.

You get one, too. - Oh, my gosh.

I get a family fun shirt? - Yes!

We all made it out alive. - I love this.

- You and your fun day. - Deena, I love this.

- Good. I'm so glad you love it.

- Thank you so much. - Look at the back of it.

- I can't take anyone serious right now.

There's a dancing alien behind you.

[laughter] He's going--

- I didn't even know he was still there.

What the hell?

- Vin, you want to dance with him?

- He should strip. - OK.

- Vin, show 'em how it's done. - Ay!

- Yay, tucking in! - Someone give this man a beat.

[cheers and applause] - Vinny!

- You gotta dance, too.

- Go Vin, go Vin, go Vin.

[all exclaiming]

♪ ♪

- Chooch!

- Vin, either you need to take off your shirt,

or we need to flip some tables.

What are we doing, guys? - Flip a table!

- Who wants to flip the table?

- Flip a table! - Flip the table.

- Flip a table!

- What a great way to end this season.

- Yeah. - Come on.

- Flip a table! - Ooh, my knees.

- Let's do it.

That's the only way to end the season.

- [laughs] - All right. Ready?

- Wait, wait. Are you guys ready?

Because it's only one time.

- So nobody else wants to flip the table on this side?

- I'll leave it up for them.

- All right. On three, ready?

One, two, three.

[all exclaiming]

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- Now, that's how you end a reunion.

- Look how good. - Ours did a !

- That was-- I was thinking--

- That was amazing, guys.

- It was amazing. - That made sense.

- That was some serious table flipping.

We flipped a table. [cheers and applause]

We handed out reunion family fun day shirts.

All that's left is a group hug.

Until the next time and next wild adventure,

I'm your girl, Justina Valentine.

Ciao.

[cheers and applause] Group hug! Group hug!

- Oh, that was good. - Group hug.

all: Jersey!

- Yeah. - Whoo!

- That's a wrap, ladies and gentlemen.