06x28 - Strip Steak

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Vinny's first gray!

- Nah, this is a glitch.

- I would like to move forward, but I can't speak for Jenni.

- How you doing?

- My boyfriend, Justin, has arrived.

Hopefully you fit right in. - Yeah, I'll fit in.

- Because if not, you're gonna get the boot.

Welcome to the show, because it's just beginning for you.

If he can make it through this group,

then I know he's a keeper.

I hear chaos. Are you ready?

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Every time we get sweeter ♪

♪ All my feelings get deeper ♪

- Oh, my goodness.

- No.

- I know.

I totally am nervous to bring Justin around this group.

You want--let me go in first?

It can be a little overwhelming.

Everybody's a lot.

- Sam's boyfriend better not be wearing a f*cking collar.

- He might be wearing a jacket. - He's not Zack. Come on.

- Zack wore a suit.

- He's here, and he's all snazzy.

- Oh, my God.

- Date night?

- No, he just dresses like this.

- This guy wear anything else besides suits?

- I think he wears his suits to Karma.

- Hello, Jenni.

- Babe loves a suit.

all: Hello!

- This is Justin. - Vinny. Nice to meet you.

- Hi, Justin.

So excited to meet you. - Justin. Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, he does look familiar. - Really?

- Yeah, from Karma. - Pauly remembers you.

Justin worked at Karma, the best Jersey Shore club,

back in the day.

- Come on, give us a late night!

- Oh. His boss was a little upset with you.

- Me? - Oh.

- I got to pee.

Upstairs at Karma, there's no bathrooms.

And if you're like myself, you make your own bathroom.

Don't tell anybody!

Stop it!

I hosed it down. - That was polite.

- That was...

- I just need to know--

why did you have to take me out of the club?

Was I being bad?

Justin remembers me because he carried me out of Karma.

Was it because I was being a meatball?

Like, was I a problem?

I will [bleep] knock that b*tch out!

- I think somebody punched you.

- Oh, God, okay, I'm the victim.

He saved my life.

He was like a hero. I really like him already.

Thank you. - He's okay with me.

- Sammi definitely has a type.

The guy looks just like Ronnie--same build.

He talks like him.

[laughs] If you had to cast Ronnie, it would be Justin.

[laughs]

- We're going to an authentic Italian restaurant.

- Oh, my God, yes. - Let's do it.

- Let's get the new guy in here.

all: Justin's here!

- I'm happy, like, we met you.

It's hard.

You'll be fine.

- All right, guys, let's go grab a little Italian

and then maybe get some dinner after.

- Oh, I get it.

- ♪ Now, hold up, wait a second, hold up, hold up ♪

- I'm going in tonight. Italian, ooh.

- Shotgun. Called it.

- Wait, you guys are the fancy couples.

- That's the Slingshot, Pauly?

- Oh, yeah, that's the one. - Oh, wow.

- I love that. - I hate that sh*t.

At this age, I just don't want to be thrown from machinery.

- I know. Now you have a gray hair and everything.

- We don't talk about that. - [laughs]

- Justin seems very reserved. - Nervous.

- Like anyone coming in here, you know?

- Tough gig.

- Where are we going, West Palm Beach?

- We're meeting Ronnie at :.

[laughter] - Deena.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

No, I'm just so used to-- - Oh!

- I'm so used to making Ronnie jokes.

- Someone just pulled up. - Anybody got dibs on Ronnie?

- [shouts indistinctly]

- I though Ron was gonna show up.

- What time does Ron get here? - f*ck.

- I am so sorry. - Justin doesn't care either.

He's a good sport.

- Oops.

I forgot.

I'm gonna pee myself.

- All right, we're here.

- Looks fancy. - Italian.

- Babe, you have to hide my vag*na.

- Same. - All right, let's do it.

- There could be a lip. - It's a whole thing.

- [laughs]

- It smells nice. - Oh, yeah!

- This is cute.

- Cue my theme music.

- This is our spot.

- They got pasta fazool.

- Vin, do you want to--

- They're all gonna yell at me. - No, I'm gonna order my own.

- Just so that Deena can get it wrong,

we'll all get of the same thing.

- What'd you say? - Nothing.

In the Italian culture, you order a bunch of food,

and everyone gets a little bit--a bite.

- But say I want a salad--

- Just order your own thing.

- We order likegavones.

If we want the rosemary-marinated olives...

- We'll get seven of them. - Everybody order--yeah.

I'm getting my own charcuterie board.

- He's trolling. - He's a d*ck.

- What the hell?

- I am so sick of Vinny. Vinny doesn't even eat.

- No carbs today!

[all shout]

- So good.

- If I had that, my a*s would jiggle for a week.

- Vinny, stop it. Eat the crust.

- We are really gonna listen to this guy?

How would you guys feel

about all of us sitting all over the place?

- Huh?

- Why don't we mix up the seating arrangements

for the night?

- Huh?

- So we can get to know each other.

- Oh.

Another family fun activity from Deena.

- Just stay there. You're good.

- I'm gonna stay with him just because he's,

like, a little nervous. - All right.

- Deena, stop planning.

- Are we still splitting the burrata?

- Just stop it all.

- Deena, great idea.

- All right, Vinny, at this point,

just order for the table.

- So we're gonna order for the table.

- Yeah, two clams, two garlic breads, two burratas.

- All the apps, all of them.

- Are you ordering meals after that?

- Yes.

- Pizza, one for either side of the table

and then one margherita for the center.

- Saltimbocca. - The linguine shrimp.

- Justin, these guys right here take ordering so serious.

- Guys, we just got everything on the menu.

- Damn, you guys eat a lot.

- What about dessert?

- And then dessert. - [chuckles]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, look what we got coming. - Yay.

- Ooh, I'm excited to try this. - [speaks Italian]

- Thank you so much. - That's a giant cutlet.

- Oh, my God, you guys order a lot.

- Yo, Angelina, let me get some of that puss.

- What? - The octopus.

[laughter] - You're crazy.

- How come no one's eating the puss?

- Chris, do you want a clam?

[laughter]

- All right, so how did we do? - Really good.

- Yeah, I love it. - I'm a professional.

- You're a professional eater.

- All right, let's ask Justin questions now.

- Oh, no, no. - Oh, it's happening.

- She's not gonna be happy.

- Part of the initiation process of joining this group

is to get interrogated.

- Hopefully it won't be painful.

- Hey, Justin, did you ever have a blow-out?

- It looked like one.

- You can blow a flute? - Ew.

- Hey, Justin, any hidden talents?

Show us one.

- Let me drink a little more first.

- What's your favorite thing to do together?

- Sex. - Oh, my God, Ange.

- You watch porn? - Why do you ask that?

- Because they're, like, .

- Y'all are on the hot seat tonight.

- Yeah.

- What was, like, your first date?

- Like, how did you guys actually meet?

- How long did you work at Karma for?

- We're doing everybody, huh? - Did any of us ever annoy you?

- Who's your favorite?

- Say me. - You got to be the favorite.

- Mike?

- He just ordered all that food for us.

- All right. - Are you guys in love?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Oh, I love that. - You got to make out.

- Whoo! - They're in love!

- Favorite thing about Sam?

- How nice and down to earth she is.

- She says the same about you.

- My family loves him.

This is probably the first time my family feels happy

with the person that I'm with.

My boyfriend radar has been off until him.

- No, you don't say. [laughs]

- You're a rotten f*cking egg.

- Punch him. Just punch him.

- Sometimes I need to kiss a few frogs to get my prince.

- I love them two together.

- Me too.

♪ ♪

- We're gonna go to a ratchet Orlando strip club.

- No.

- I'm gonna have to sit somewhere else.

This is not my vibe.

- Jenni. - Oh, God.

- Should I talk to her? - This is strip club hell.

- We are going to w*r, b*tches!

[screaming] - f*ck.

- Everyone is in Orlando,

and I was thinking about maybe going down there.

I definitely have some things I need to say to Sam.

No more of the unknown.

- ♪ Hit me like a hit and run, hit and run ♪

♪ Took a swing and had your fun, had your fun ♪

- After asking Justin all these questions,

let's cheers to Justin and welcome him to the family.

- Aw.

This is, like, my first real dinner with everybody

and their significant others.

And here I am with my boyfriend.

Like, I was nervous.

This group likes to ask a lot of questions,

but nobody made him feel uncomfortable for now.

[chuckles]

- Actually... [tapping glass]

- Oh. - Oh.

- Oh. - Don't break it.

Don't break it.

- Actually, first and foremost, we want to welcome Justin.

- Aw. - It's happy to have Sam back.

It's even great to see who's her partner now.

So, welcome.

I want to dedicate this toast

to something that's very special to all of us.

Raise your glasses, please,

and let's make a toast

to the gray hair on Vinny's beard.

[all cheering, shouting]

- I'm the baby of the group.

It was one. - It was a big one.

- I'm still in shape. I am a stripper.

- My boyfriend hurt his leg stripping.

- I go running every day.

- Oh, my God, look at Vinny losing.

- Every week there's, like, a new model liking my picture.

- Look how handsome he is. - He's so handsome.

- You're beautiful as well.

I'd be, like, a cool silver fox,

but, like, I didn't know it was happening.

- We're all gonna get wrinkled and gray and old,

sh1tting in diapers and stuff.

Who's gonna be your long companion

for the rest of your life?

- I'm .

No girlfriend, found my first gray hair.

Things are rough.

There's only one thing to do.

[clears throat, tapping glass]

Deena, you planned an amazing family fun trip.

I wore my pink shirt.

But, you know,

tonight I have something else planned for the family.

We're gonna go to a ratchet Orlando strip club.

- Oh, my God!

[all shout]

- And it's Florida, so you know it's extra ratchet.

- This isn't our first, like, strip club thing.

We'll have fun.

Oh, my--no, that's Deena.

- Oh, man, a strip club?

- Sorry, Chris, I know it's tough.

- Deena won't let Chris hang with Vinny.

- I was hoping we could, like, do bingo

or, like, a trivia night.

[laughter]

- What's happening over here? What is happening over here?

- Chris isn't allowed to laugh.

- Chris can't laugh with Vinny.

I trust my husband %. You know who I don't trust?

- Suck it up. We'll do this strippers.

- We'll suck it all up.

- Vinny. Vinny's a raunch.

Stop looking at him. - It's funny, Deena.

- Don't have too much fun without me, okay?

- You can't come?

- No, he's flying in five hours.

- What does he have, a wrestling match?

- Yeah, I'm gonna help him pack.

- Aw. - She likes a good strip club.

- I'm so sad right now.

I am devastated.

It's very empowering being at a strip club.

Guys literally die for these strippers.

And the strippers are like,

you got to pay to hang out with me.

That gives me pure, pure joy in my life.

Why couldn't have this been tomorrow?

And they're on a ten-foot pole, f*cking bending and twisting.

This takes talent.

Maybe.

Zack's like, no, no.

The one place...

the one place I love. - Cheers.

- We are all dirty tonight.

[indistinct chatter]

- f*ck.

Zack is just, like, ignoring me.

I know you don't want me to go to the strip club.

You know what I do there.

- Jenni loves it. - Whoo!

- I need money.

Now I got to go home and pack Zack's go-go boots

instead of watching b*tches with go-go boots.

Like, I am pissed right now.

- You can come for a little bit, Zack.

She's biting at the bit over here.

- Zack hates strip clubs, anything to do with, like, fun.

To each their own.

I like hanging out with girls in thongs.

[laughing] Zack likes hanging out in thongs.

- And the gentleman blows a kiss.

- [laughing]

- Vinny, can you move the f*cking strip club day?

- Let me see what I can do.

- I'm sure there'll be another one.

- Please.

[upbeat music]

- Think of me when you're there.

Make it rain. - We'll miss you.

See you tomorrow.

- I'm a little upset.

- I'm sure there will be another time.

- I just got the link for the strip club.

It is a strip club/steak house.

- Honey, you just ate.

♪ ♪

- Oh.

What do we got? What do we got? What do we got?

♪ ♪

Marrone.

Look at that.

- ♪ I'm a big boy ♪

♪ ♪

It's good.

On to the steak house, guys. - [laughing] Oh, my God.

- Whoo!

- ♪ We gonna shut this thing down ♪

- We're gonna go in the back. - Is anybody still hungry?

- I'm starved.

- ♪ Who's about to run the town? ♪

♪ Tell them that we want it now ♪

♪ Tell them that we want it now ♪

- I'm not gonna lie, I am mad.

You say that now?

Zack said I have to go back with him to the hotel.

You literally gave me the death stare.

That's not cool.

- I didn't give you the death stare.

- And now he's, poof, well, you could have stayed.

b*tch, you're lying.

I'll wait for my ratchet-ness when Nicole gets here tomorrow.

A strip club-- that's my favorite place.

That's my magical land.

Butt naked.

- ♪ What's up? ♪

- Ooh, tell Rachel to leave the kitchen open.

- Rachel, where you at?

- ♪ Yo, we're coming through now ♪

♪ Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill ♪

- ♪ What's up? ♪ - ♪ Sheesh ♪

- ♪ What's up? ♪ - ♪ Sheesh ♪

- This is more like it. This is a family fun trip.

- Behave, you two.

- Because it's fun.

- Yeah, let me get...

Surf and turf at the gentlemen's club.

It doesn't get any more "gentleman" than that.

[elegant music]

♪ ♪

This right here is legendary.

- Yes, Mike!

- Not only are we getting a show,

but we also are getting dinner again.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Mike is a whole vibe right now.

We just had the biggest meal of our life.

That's crazy.

And he has another one right in front of him.

- ♪ See me up there in the club ♪

♪ Dooby, dooby, dooby ♪

- All right, girls.

Justin, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

He's like, where do I look?

- Are you guys ready for a lap dance?

- No, but he may be.

The touching is where I don't-- You're dead meat.

- Yes. [laughs]

- If you touch, dead meat.

- God.

- Sitting next to Deena at the strip club...

- No.

- It's just not my vibe.

Chris, it is a trap, bro.

- Do not answer that question.

[alarm blaring]

[light music, cheers and applause]

- Aw. Yeah?

- You know, it's just not my vibe.

Every two seconds, Deena has something to say.

- I was not expecting such amazing performers.

Oh.

God, I think she hit her head.

There you go!

This is gonna be a fun night.

- Yes. - Vinny went, yes.

- This is strip club hell.

- [laughs]

- This outfit would have been f*cking spectacular

at a strip club.

- I would have been a mess thinking about you

with no underwear on, and your f*cking--

yeah. - Yeah, well, I'm still bitter.

I want to go to every strip club

around the world. - [sighs]

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo!

Look at that. They're talented.

- Ah...

I love you guys, but I'm gonna have to sit somewhere else.

This is just not my club experience.

You know what I mean?

- Do you mind if I just talk to you for a little bit?

- You can talk to me. - Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Oh, okay.

- All right, guys, Deener's getting a lap dance.

- [laughs]

- I like strippers.

They're the perfect therapy right now for me.

When you need therapy, you need therapy.

- Yeah.

- As long as they hear me...

True that.

I'm really happy about that.

- Let's take one. - Let's go.

[electronic music]

- This is awesome.

I got this dancer talking to me.

This is more like it.

I get paid a salary, okay?

I don't take ones.

What the f*ck?

- That whole thing,

like, the other girls and I got over it, right?

But, like, Jenni, right? - Oh, God.

- Should I talk to her?

- I don't know how I planned out

one fun thing that I thought would go a certain way.

- Oh, my God, I miss my meatball!

- But I end up dealing with Angelina and Deena all night.

On the other hand, if I do have to talk

about this stupid drama, there might as well be booty shaking.

I read a book--

Like, one piece of advice that I heard once,

make believe that everybody in the world

is the smartest person in the world and you're stupid.

- Is there any way that I can do this without an apology?

- No! No.

- I knew he was gonna say something like that.

- There's always something to apologize for.

- Right.

- There's always something to take accountability for.

- But Vinny gives great advice in a strip club

- Is it okay for me to be upset about it?

- Yeah, you can be upset about anything you want.

- All his senses are all really heightened in a strip club.

- You go, I'm not f*cking doing sh*t.

That's what gets them going. - Okay, okay.

Maybe I should go to him more often in a strip club.

What's that book?

- "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff."

- Maybe you should give it to Jenni, too,

because she needs to actually listen to it also.

Thank you, Vinny. - All right, I got to pee.

- Appreciate it.

- ♪ $ million in my hands ♪

♪ I'm making moves, that's what I do ♪

♪ I'm making money ♪

- Oh, we're leaving. - Bye, Vinny. I got to go.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Who's missing? - Angelina.

- So, like, if you guys were fighting,

would you talk to your friend, like,

and, like, tell them how you feel?

- For sure.

- ♪ Hanging out my pictures on the wall ♪

♪ Get up out of here, we be headed to the club ♪

- Mike, how was the food?

- The food was surprisingly good.

So I had both.

- ♪ Let's go ♪

♪ ♪

- Mama's in Florida, b*tches.

Let's see what everyone's up to.

I'm gonna call Deena.

Landing in Florida, oh, my God,

I am so excited to see everyone.

[gasps] Girl, it's :.

I missed two nights.

I have three kids.

There's always competitions, practices,

literally everything.

But, like, party's here, b*tches--let's go.

JWOWW. Everyone's hungover.

- Your call has been forwarded to--

- b*tch.

- ♪ Here I come ♪ - ♪ What? ♪

- ♪ I'm the one ♪ - ♪ Yo ♪

- ♪ Ain't no sleeping till we see the morning sun ♪

- You know what today is?

Haircut day.

♪ ♪

It's haircut day.

It's haircut day.

It's haircut day.

Haircut day, haircut day.

- On my way. - Haircut day.

- What up, man? - All right.

- Hey, what's up, Mike?

They're ready to go for you, my guy.

Nicole comes today.

- When people stagger in on vacations,

the vibe totally changes.

Madness will ensue for a night or two,

and everyone will kumbaya until they bring in someone else.

On one of the next vacations, maybe you could pop in.

And it's not easy for me to keep a secret.

- Oh, I know that.

- [chuckles]

I really expected to invite Ron on a vacation,

and then Sam came back.

- Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

- Holy sh*t.

So I'm thinking, let the Sam vibe rock for a little bit,

and then I could bring Ron in possibly on our next vacation.

- You like Justin, though? He seems cool, right?

- Yeah, he seems to have a good temperature

on his first day here.

You know what I mean? - Yeah.

- It's not easy coming in here either.

- You met everybody,

so you finally got that out of the way.

- They were all very nice.

I get a little, you know, nervous

answering a thousand questions at once, but--

- You handled yourself really well.

- It was fun.

- ♪ Candy, you look like candy ♪

- Thank you.

[gasps] Oh, Margaritaville.

- To be honest with you, I didn't even look at it,

and I can tell you did a fire job.

- Hello?

- Bam.

Did a good job.

- Hello?

- Look who's here. both: Hey!

- Nicole! - Where is everyone?

- My meatball. We missed you so much.

- What'd you do the first day?

- So we obviously had a little bit of a sit-down.

Initially-- - [snorts]

How many sit-downs did we have, honestly?

Sit-downs-- what are we, the Mob?

Like, obviously, friends are gonna fight and bicker.

Like, we don't need to make it so dramatic every single time.

I'm so glad I missed that.

I'm hoping everyone got it out the first couple days,

and then now we party.

Party's here.

- You were missed so much last night--it's insane.

Deena was dancing. She's like, where's my meatball?

Where's my meatball? Where's my meatball?

- Why would you do a strip club without me?

Oh, hey, Vin.

Where's the girls?

- They're probably not up.

- Ugh, it's blinding.

- Ugh.

- You feeling it?

- Yeah, I don't feel great,

but I got to get my sh*t together.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[cell phones blooping]

- Deener just texted.

"Everyone get ready. Meet me in the cast suite.

"Dress comfy. I'll explain everything."

- "Comfy"? - Ma'am?

- Ma'am! You're here!

- Hi, ma'am.

Ooh, are you hungover? - No, actually, not that bad.

- Do you want to go to the suite?

- Yeah. - Have you been to it yet?

- Yeah, I saw the boys, but I didn't see Deener yet.

- Are you ready to head to the suite?

I'm so excited for today. You're pumped, too, right?

- This is gonna be so much fun. - This is cool.

I'm excited for today.

Everyone's gonna be like, oh, a typical Deena activity.

No, this trip, I'm gonna do something badass.

I think we're the first.

- Hello. - Hi.

- [gasps] Meatball!

- Hey! - I brought a guest.

- Stop, we're matching.

- How are you? How are you? - Good.

This is Justin.

- [gasps] Your man. Hi.

- How you doing? - Nice to meet you.

- Do you remember him at all? - He carried me out of Karma.

- Did you ever carry me out? - I don't think so.

- Shocking. - [chuckles]

- How you doing? How youse doing?

- How are you? - Oh, hello, gentlemen.

- What's up?

- Ooh, your boobies look nice.

- Mike, did you see Nicole's here?

- Yep.

- Okay, guys, so today we're gonna have to wear

booties on our shoes because we're gonna get dusty.

- "Dusty"?

- Because we're doing sandcastle competitions!

- Oh, snap. - Oh.

- What? - Deener.

- f*ck. - What the f*ck?

- What, are we seven?

- b*tch, I didn't fly all the way here

just to do sandcastles.

I do that at the house.

Is there a bar there? - Is this what we're doing?

- I'm just joking. both: Oh.

- Oh, thank God.

- I didn't even flinch.

- So that was a joke? - Yes, that's not real.

I know you guys think I usually do lame activities.

- You can say that again.

- So today we are...

going into military tanks.

- [gasps] - What?

- Oh, that's cool.

- And we are crushing sh*t!

- Oh, sh*t.

- Freakin' going f*cking crazy.

We are going to w*r, b*tches!

- Good thing I brought my two g*ns.

One, two.

- ♪ We don't got to fight, fight, fight ♪

♪ We don't gotta be another dumb cliché ♪

- Yo, let's roll out. We got tanks to ride.

- ♪ I'm sitting in the front so I don't puke ♪

- There will be no grenades tonight.

Normally, Deena's activities consist

of bouncy houses, ghost tours,

cardboard boat racing.

Now we're driving tanks today.

- We can't all move in here.

I know I have to confront Jenni.

Nicole, you go in, and then we're gonna go there.

- Okay.

- Later today I will have a conversation with her.

- I hope it doesn't start a real w*r.

- Guido wars.

- Listen, Angelina and I-- we're not friends,

in my head, at least.

But hopefully there's no animosity or hatred.

- They say, like, they have, like, mud pits and stuff.

- Oh, damn. - So we're gonna get dirty.

- Well, my sneakers are ruined.

- I'm gonna take my shoes off. - I have these.

- All right.

- Do those protect?

- This is the first time I wore these.

- Well, I don't think you have to go in the mud.

all: Ooh! - No, I'm just saying.

all: Ooh! - Looking for activity.

- Is that where we're going? - Yeah.

[electronic music]

- Look at that. - Whoa.

That thing's real.

That thing shoots. - Oh, my God.

- Oh, wow.

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

- Tanks are here!

- These are real-deal military equipment.

- Instead of cabs, we got tanks today, boys.

- I don't think any of us are qualified for this sh*t,

but let's f*cking go.

- Welcome to Tank America.

- Oh, my God. - I know.

I don't have any other sneakers.

- Be right back.

We're getting little sneaker covers.

- Well, it's already dirty.

- Fresh shoes is probably one of the most important pieces

to a guido's outfit.

Watch my freshies! Watch my freshies!

Aah! - [laughs]

- Come outside.

- Don't worry, kids. I'll save you.

This is in the mud. It's in the middle of the dirt.

Yeah, let's put them booties on now.

- You must protect thy shoes.

- When guidos go to w*r, we protect our sneakers, man.

- Are you guys' shoes good? - Not yet.

- She's got the Chanels. We need to save them.

We might be excited, but we love our freshies.

- Hello, sir. - Reporting.

- Welcome. Thank you for reporting.

We've been doing this here at Tank America since .

So far, I haven't had anybody come in with shoes covered.

- Well, you haven't had anyone as fresh as us.

- Oh! - Ew!

- Oh, my God. - He's embarrassing.

- He is not our friend.

- So we got a fun day for you guys.

We're gonna do a little tank driving.

Follow me inside. We'll get you guys checked in.

- Before we go into battle, are there any provisions?

- As far as, what are we talking?

- Food? - We do not have any food.

We do have some drinks inside for you.

- A wise man once said...

Do you guys have chicken tenders?

- Um, I don't believe so.

- You don't go into battle without bringing pizza,

chicken fangers and some wangers...

What about French fries? - I wish.

- Along for the ride.

Now look at us.

Yo, I got them tendies on deck, kid.

I'm probably gonna get a Medal of Honor

for doing what I'm doing right now.

- We're gonna ride in tanks,

but we're gonna do it in fashion, people.

- Oh, God, what'd she get us?

- Why do you guys always think it's so terrible?

- Because we've seen the family fun shirts.

These stupid shirts.

I don't know what you mean, Deena.

I never got your package.

- It's all camouflage stuff.

We need camouflage stuff so we camouflage in the tanks

and be really, like, you know, in there.

- [grunts] - Ew!

- You're just--Okay.

- ♪ Style check ♪

♪ Style check ♪

- ., can I trade you? - Oh.

- What size is that? - You like them tight, right?

- Yeah. - Oh, okay.

- Oh, Vinny, not that low.

- Oh, no, it's not matching.

- Jenni messed me up.

- Yo, ., I actually get first dibs of the clothes.

- Be nice.

- There we go. - Where are you going?

- [laughing] I don't know what I'm doing.

- It's like a turtle.

- Can someone tell Vinny . that I get first pick?

- Oh, my God, get over it! - You're swimming in that.

- I kind of look hot.

- Oh, my God!

- First he takes my name. Then he takes my girl.

- Hey, don't go there.

- And now he takes my tank top size.

- Oh, he's bitter.

- ♪ We used to drive down the freeway ♪

♪ Like we were running away with every reason to stay ♪

♪ Those days are long gone ♪

- Oh.

- ♪ Figure out my own way of moving ♪

[child babbles] - I didn't break it.

- [babbles] - Yeah, it is.

See? There you go.

♪ ♪

- Hey, man. How's it going?

You liking the new house?

Everything been working out good?

- Yeah, everything's nice, bro. It's cool.

I'm finally getting settled in Florida.

It's definitely been a long road to get here,

but it's definitely a long road ahead of me as well.

- Get a routine.

Try to find the ways to make life work.

What do you got planned for this week?

- [sighs] I saw on Instagram everyone's in Orlando.

And I was thinking about maybe going down there

and just talking to everybody and quick drive away.

And it would only make sense, so...

- Yeah, that's a big step, man.

That's a really big step.

- It's been two years since I've seen everybody.

I miss them.

We all shared a bond we can never share with anyone else.

Hopefully I can start making amends,

and we can start getting that bond back to where we had it.

- You want to get out all your thoughts

and be like, this has been a crazy two years.

Maybe I wasn't the best at this point,

but it wasn't that I didn't care about you guys.

As long as these guys see you put your heart into it

and that you actually care, that's all people want.

- Yeah, I agree.

- Are you nervous?

- I don't know.

It's hard to see the roommates again,

but it's definitely a lot more pressure

now that Sammi is back.

A lot of my actions when we were together

weren't really the best,

and I could have been better to her.

So you're walking away from this?

- [crying] Yeah.

- I definitely have some things I need to say to Sam,

and I definitely have to right my wrongs.

I know what I'm gonna kind of say

because I've been waiting for so damn long.

Kind of, like...

you know, like, I don't know where she stands.

I don't know if she has any hard feelings.

I don't know, you know, where she's at.

- We've been talking about this for two years.

You got to get it out at some point,

and I think face-to-face is the only way

these guys are ever gonna believe you and see you.

- ♪ All we got to do ♪

- Yeah.

- ♪ Is work it out ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

♪ ♪

- This is what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna run through an operations safety briefing.

These vehicles are about tons.

- Oh, that would be me.

- Are you kidding?

- Stand up. [all shout]

[cheering]

- Bye, f*ck.

- No! - Oh, my God!

[hip-hop music]

- I'm ready. - Do it like Meilani.

Watch me.

- Instagram ready. - I'd do me.

- All right, if everybody's ready getting all dressed up,

we'll go ahead and go in here to our safety

and operations room.

We're gonna teach you how to drive them.

I'll introduce you to Kevin. Find yourself a seat.

- These guys mean business.

You get, like, a whole military briefing

before riding the tanks.

- We're actually driving these things?

- No, you're gonna go outside and look at 'em.

- No, no, no, I--you know-- - My name's Kevin.

Looks like you guys are all dressed up

and ready to fight some unicorns and garden gnomes.

When we started this company, okay, we hired a whole bunch

of prior Marines.

We basically looked at what the vehicle is capable of doing,

and that's how we designed our course.

I'll make you all master tank drivers in about eight minutes,

and they'll get you guys loaded up on a vehicle,

and we'll start banging this thing out,

because these vehicles are about tons.

- For Mike the Situation.

- Oh, that would be me. all: Oh, my God!

- Are you kidding?

- I like to be prepared in all situations.

- So interrupting my briefing--

stand up. [all shout]

- The safety instructor seems a little salty.

- Give him .

- "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Ready?

Go.

- ♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪

♪ How I wonder what you are ♪

- I'll help you, Mike. I ain't letting you go out like that.

- Hell, yeah. - There you go.

- [laughs] - Oh, my God.

- All right, so right side of the trail--

don't go off to the left, all right?

Final hill that you're gonna go up and over, okay,

basically full throttle up the hill.

Once you come over the top of the hill,

you'll feel gravity kind of take you.

Let it roll down the back side of the hill.

I know up there, it says, ride the brake.

Do not ride the brake.

Stay on the throttle as you're going up the hill.

Don't let the vehicle roll backwards.

So pretty simple.

You're--

Damn, man.

You can't wait till I go through this?

- Um... - You're good.

- I didn't think you noticed. - Oh, my God.

- Would you like a tendie?

- No, I'm more worried about you hitting trees out there.

- Who turns down chicken fingers?

Can I bring tendies on the tank?

- No. - Okay.

Everybody's always hungry.

Good stuff.

And #You'reWelcome.

- We ready to get out there and start driving?

all: Yes, sir!

- May I have another, sir?

- [through bullhorn] Can I have your attention, please?

Get ready for w*r.

- Left, right, left, right, left, right.

- Left, left.

- What am I doing?

- Private Pauly D, reporting for service.

[scattered laughter]

- General BDS is in the building.

- GI Jenni, reporting for service.

- Captain Deena here.

[laughter]

- Did anyone call a soldier?

Because Veteran Vinny is here reporting for duty.

[all shout]

- Ew.

- I'm the sweetest soldier you're--

- No, I'm the sweetest soldier you'll ever meet.

- Oh.

- What am I? - Lauren.

- Lauren, reporting for duty.

- Private Toucher, reporting for duty.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Vinny here, reporting for duty, hey.

- Agent May, reporting for duty.

- Oh, my.

- Admiral Angelina, reporting for duty.

[laughter]

- Sergeant Snooks, ready to party.

all: Yeah! [cheering]

- ♪ I feel lost in space, and it's okay ♪

♪ I don't want to be found anyway ♪

- Tanks are here!

- Hit your head-- - Yeah.

- Oh, God.

- I think I'm gonna puke. [engine turning over]

- Are you ready for this? - My t*tties might pop out.

- Look at me, man!

- ♪ I don't really know ♪

- Bye, f*ck.

- Come on, Chris, faster!

[all screaming]

- ♪ You're picking me up like Geronimo ♪

♪ You're messing me up like Geronimo ♪

♪ Bringing me down like Geronimo ♪

♪ I'm hitting the ground like Geronimo ♪

♪ Picking me up like Geronimo ♪

- This is the worst one-night stand of my life.

- It really sucks.

- It's definitely not easy driving a tank.

- No, Mike, go right!

But you have to pay attention.

[screaming]

- And it was really cool.

- Holy sh*t.

Are you okay? - Yeah.

- If Mike was focusing on learning how to drive the tank

instead of eating chicken fingers...

- Guide right, move.

Your brain will naturally pull you

to the left side of the course.

- Maybe we wouldn't have hit a tree...

- Would you like a tendie?

- No, I'm more worried about you hitting trees out there.

- Like, two times.

Lauren, are you good? - Yeah.

- ♪ It's time for some action ♪

- Ah!

[screaming]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! - [laughs]

So cool!

- Let's go, dude!

[screaming]

- What'd you guys think?

I see a lot of smiles on those faces.

- So cool! [all cheering]

- Appreciate you guys coming out

and having some fun with us. - Yeah!

- All right, let's go.

- Who's taking my Instagram pic?

[indistinct chatter]

- Jenni and I are at w*r right now.

That was fun.

But I just don't feel like right now

is the place and time for having a conversation with her.

Oh, it's so cute.

One more. Okay.

- Thanks, girl.

I think the roommates love Justin now that they met him.

- That's a good photo.

Angelina sent a good photo.

- I kind of feel, like, complete,

because now I have my family back again

that I missed for these years.

And then I have this person in my life

who's so supporting and uplifting.

And they're all meeting.

Do you have the whole one of everyone?

- Yeah, yep, yep, yep, I can get it.

- I feel, like, really complete in all aspects of my life,

and there's no better feeling than what I feel right now.

Can you send me that? - Yeah.

- Thanks, Mike.

- ♪ I often wonder if I'm still controlling myself ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I long for heaven but feel like myself in this hell ♪

- I haven't had a real conversation

with the roommates in almost two years.

I never thought I'd be so nervous to see them.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

♪ ♪

I want to apologize and say that my actions were not

the best version of myself.

They were people that I could always turn to,

but when you're hurting yourself,

you're hurting people that you love,

but you're not realizing it.

You're so caught up, where you're like, f*ck it,

I don't even care about myself, you know,

let alone care about someone else.

- I love you, but you need to get your [...] together.

- The situation is already down the [...] drain,

and it's like, oh--

- No, that's the wrong way to think.

That's the wrong way.

- The more you do it, the worse you'll feel.

- I'm trying to save you.

I'm trying to be a good friend right now to you.

- I understand.

You don't get it. I'm done with this [...].

- So then be a good guy here. - Try to find the good.

Even when it's hard sometimes,

days you have to look harder to find it.

- What happens with me has nothing to do with you guys.

No, it doesn't.

- Everything we do involves each other.

- No, it doesn't.

- Ron purposely puts his drama out there.

He drags every one of us in it.

- He's, like, going off the deep end.

- There's nothing that I can do to tell you

to stop doing that 'cause you're gonna keep doing it.

Matter of fact, tomorrow you'll do it.

So I don't know how to help that person.

So that's why I can't help anymore.

- He's been arrested in Los Angeles where he lives.

- It's not good. - What the f*ck, man?

- Everyone was definitely upset at the time

for some of your actions.

I think being honest is key.

But, again, you know, that is never easy for anyone.

- [sighs]

[cell phone chimes] - Oh, my goodness.

Ron just texted me, said he is on his way.

- Sam's here, though.

- All right, let's do this.

This is my chance to make things right.

[knocking on door]

- Oh, my God.

- I don't want to lose her again.

- It's just something that I really am sorry for.

- This could change everything.