06x19 - Code Word: Lasagna

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Angelina is just constantly f*cking attacking us.

- Like, if we breathe wrong...

- Don't f*cking raise your f*cking voice to me.

- All right, guys. [overlapping chatter]

- She got out of her chair?

- She was gonna f*cking hit me.

- Oh, my gosh, we won something.

- Whoo!

- Your boy BDS won a trip

for the whole squad this weekend.

- I just don't know what's happening

between Jenni and I at this point.

It's gonna be f*cking bad.

I need an ally

with all this sh*t going on with the girls.

[doorbell rings]

I'd just really love for you to come back.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Everything golden ♪

♪ Can't hold me down, steady rollin' ♪

♪ See my aura shine, I'm golden ♪

♪ Sun ain't the only thing glowin' ♪

♪ I'm golden ♪

- Yo.

- What's up, my guy?

- Just packing for Pennsylvania.

- Yeah, how do I get out of this one?

- I don't know.

Mike has this new, weird hobby of scratch-off tickets.

- Oh, my gosh, we won something.

- What? - It says,

"Weekend getaway

"for up to ten guests

at the Hawkview Retreat in Pennsylvania."

- Whoo!

- But he's won this trip

at a time of just utter chaos.

- When he proposed, you were condescending.

- That's not what happened.

- Angelina and Jenni have been arguing

about her engagement.

And then the girls got into an epic fight

last week, filming our reunion show.

- Why do you just have to open your mouth?

I'm sick and tired of you acting like my mother.

You're not my f*cking mom.

- And now we're gonna go on another trip.

I know this is gonna be bad.

- Does this retreat have security?

- For real.

[bass-heavy music]

- ♪ When you play with fire ♪

♪ You'll get burned ♪

- Angelina has asked me to come back.

- I would really love for you to be part of it again.

- Have you told the girls that you DMed me?

- f*ck no.

- I'm kind of in the air.

Like, do I wanna come back?

Do I not wanna come back?

I don't know what to do here.

Hi.

- Hi, honey.

- Boy, do I have news for you.

My mom is like my best friend.

She was there for me through everything

that I've gone through since Seaside.

So I wanna see what she thinks about this whole situation.

I've been talking with Angelina.

- What?

- She asked me to come back.

[dramatic musical flourish]

- Oh. Wow.

What do you think about that?

- I don't know.

I was anti it for so long.

- Well, you had reasons.

- I'm just feeling, like, into Ronnie right now.

I can't even explain it.

- When you left crying,

Ron made out with two girls.

- You're not worth these tears that I'm crying right now.

- So don't cry. I'm done talking to you.

- Dealing with it all was definitely a lot.

- Well, I mean, you're-- you're a lot stronger now.

[soft dramatic music]

You know, even if he was there,

it's okay because you're different now.

- Are you ready to come back?

♪ ♪

- Like, you can handle it.

And if you are exposed to that relationship again,

you know, talk about it.

It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

You don't have to make everything

what happened in the beginning.

- Yeah.

Like, I do miss it. - I know you do.

- ♪ It's been a long and winding road ♪

♪ I've been traveling ♪

- These people were such a huge part of my life.

I remember fun times with them and all the laughs we had.

Big arms, little body.

[laughter]

- Oh! Ah!

- We've been through so much together.

A bond that nobody else will understand unless you're in it.

[laughter and yelling]

- I was in Vinny's bed last night.

- [squeals] - You have no idea.

- But I'm so nervous.

What if they don't want me to come back?

I don't want the drama.

- Sleep on it.

But no matter what you decide to do,

I'm behind you.

- ♪ It takes more to break me ♪

♪ ♪

[downbeat electronic music]

- [sighs]

[muttering] I don't really wanna go.

I am not feeling great about this trip to Pennsylvania.

The girls and I are not in a good place.

I'm very worried about the unanswered problems

from New Orleans and the reunion,

not resolved.

[phone rings]

[sighs]

Missed call from Sam, voicemail.

- Hey, Ange, it's me, Sam.

I've decided,

and I'm gonna come on the trip.

So give me a call back when you get this,

and let me know what the heck I should bring

because I have no idea. Bye.

- Oh, my God.

Halle-f*cking-lujah!

Sammi is coming.

Thank f*cking God.

- Oh, my goodness.

Okay, what am I packing for this?

I decided to do it.

These guys are gonna die when they see me.

I'm at a point in my life where I have healed from past trauma,

I'm secure in my relationships,

my friendships, my family.

Everything's been going good for me.

But there's that one piece

that I haven't really resolved.

And that's leaving the show

and not getting to finish this off with my roomies.

So if I have the chance to come back,

why not take it?

- [muttering] I cannot forget my hair straightener.

[whispers] Love you.

- ♪ It's going down, yeah ♪

♪ The writing's on the wall ♪

♪ I proceed, they just wanna see me fall ♪

- It's chilly.

♪ ♪

Ugh, sh*t.

Hey, boo. - Hey, boo.

- You ready for PA?

- No.

- Oh, my God.

Hey!

- Hey, D!

- How are you feeling? - I'm okay.

I'm feeling a little bit better.

You know, the reunion happened.

Angelina basically came at me to fight me.

- Don't f*cking raise your f*cking voice to me.

- All right. [overlapping chatter]

- Come hit me, baby.

So I have no idea how we're gonna be.

Well, I'm glad us girls are driving together.

Mike, I think, said the boys are driving together.

- Pauly's flying in.

- Yeah. - And then he'll drive,

but I don't know how she's getting there.

- ♪ I'm coming out with the power ♪

♪ I'm coming out with the power ♪

♪ The dynamite ♪

♪ This revolution ♪

♪ Hearts are beating louder ♪

- I can't believe this is happening.

I'm about to go on my first vacation with these guys

in ten years.

- ♪ I can change my mind ♪

- I'm here. - This is happening.

You ready for this?

- No.

I have not kept in touch

with any of the roommates at all.

So I honestly have no idea how they're gonna react.

I'm scared. I'm really scared.

- I am so excited for this.

- Just don't-- let's not even talk about it,

'cause what if I, like, change my mind?

- No, you better not.

- ♪ No stopping, no stopping ♪

♪ No stopping ♪ [doorbell rings]

- Yo, delivery. - Ohh.

Road snacks? - No.

This is for the trip.

- Ooh, these are definitely Paula's culets.

- Okay, well, close this up,

because we're saving that for the trip.

- One bite, come on.

- Mike. - Wow.

These are good. Do you want one?

- No. Who has cutlets for breakfast?

[playful music]

- Anyway, how's the fam?

- The fam is good.

Um... - Uh-huh.

- I don't know howourfam is after the reunion...

- That's true. - And Angelina.

- Some of the things that she was saying

when she was here the other day...

- Let's talk about the bigger picture here.

It all stems down to why the f*ck she acted

the way she acted when I got proposed to.

- It's very common to have disagreements in life.

- I'm over it.

- You know what that's called?

That's called a resentment. - Yeah.

- Do you remember that phrase about resentments?

- Wow. Good one.

- Damn.

- That quote has nothing to do with the topic on hand.

- [laughing] - But good thing

you have on your bulletproof vest

'cause we're gonna be taking heavy fire.

- Yo, shots fired is definitely gonna be happening.

- It's a free trip from a scratch-off.

What could go wrong?

- All right, let me finish this cutlet, my guy.

- Come on. It's a road trip.

I'm sure you'll stop for McDonald's four times.

- Okay. Let's go.

- ♪ You gon' know it when I go ♪

♪ You gon' know it when I go, you gon' know it when I go ♪

[phone ringing]

- Oh, my God, oh, my God, Vinny's calling me.

- Oh, my God, is he? - Shh.

- Don't say anything. - Okay.

Hello?

- Hey, what's up? You're on speaker.

I'm driving with Mike.

- What's happening?

- Did you leave yet?

We figured, you know,

you would be going with the girls and stuff.

- [fake laughs] Yeah, you figured right.

- Just get a ride with them.

- Ange, listen, this is an OG trip.

- Yeah, an OG trip,

so don't bring any of your fiancés.

- Vin, you are a dickhead. Relax.

Oh, I'm definitely bringing an OG with me, bro.

[laughs]

- Ange, did you speak to the girls at all?

- No.

- Listen, I think we need

to sort of settle our differences

so that we can move forward for the trip.

- Oh, man. I don't know if I'm ready for this.

It sounds like there's actually more drama than I thought.

- All right, well, go with that.

Bye. - No. Bye.

- What's really going on with you and the girls?

- They just--I don't know.

We have a long time on the road.

Let's get out of here. - What the f*ck

did I get myself into, Ange?

- Girl, you don't even know.

- Oh, my God.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

[dramatic rock music]

- Holy sh*t.

- I can't believe it.

- This is an epic moment in "Jersey Shore" history.

If Jenni's face could move,

it would definitely be super shocked right now.

♪ ♪

- ♪ This goes out to the real ones ♪

♪ Ey, this a song for the real ones ♪

- There it is. We're here.

Whoo! - It is now--

- Pennsylvania! Put your hands up in the air.

- I'd like to live with the Amish for a weekend.

- Yeah, I was just gonna say, you think that's an Amish town?

- That would be fun.

They would never let us in.

- No, I don't think that would be fun.

- I can't believe I'm frickin' doing this.

Like, I'm excited but nervous.

[truck horn blares] - f*ck you, jerk-offs!

f*ck!

What assholes!

- There's a gas station ahead.

Um, it's customary to stop for road snacks.

We are on a road trip,

and we gotta make this road trip official.

So we gotta stop for snacks and scratch-offs.

- ♪ Don't call me lucky ♪

[funky music]

- You've gotta be in it to win it.

Um...

doesn't look like I won anything.

But...

So onward we go.

- Are we gonna be close to Ohio?

- Ohio?

Isn't Ohio in the middle of the country?

- It's next to PA.

But Ohio also connects to New York.

[buzzer blares]

- Why did I not know this?

- There's Jersey, Pennsylvania,

Ohio's here... [buzzer blares]

And then there's New York,

and then I wanna say Connecticut.

[buzzer blares] And then, like, over here...

- The Erie lake. [buzzer blares]

- There's a little bit of Canada.

- I remember the Erie. - Lake Erie.

- Look at how smart I am.

[buzzer blares]

- You're very geographical-- [buzzer blares]

- Yeah, I'm not a geography person.

[bell dings]

- I gotta stop at this gas station right here

'cause I'm feeling super lucky.

- I wanna get to the house as soon as possible.

But Mike keeps making us stop and get scratch-offs.

- I believe they have scratch-offs here.

- Like, this car is gonna be filled with losing tickets

by the time we get to Pennsylvania.

- f*ck.

- I'm assuming that Mike will probably get there first

since he won this trip.

- One would think, but he also drives like Grandpa.

♪ ♪

- I believe they have a Burger King ahead if--

- Nah.

- I have to re-up all of my scratch-offs, kid.

- Dude, you have a whole box full.

- I got a itch,

and I gotta scratch it. - [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Listen, it's a numbers game.

All right, it's happening.

Son of a--

- You lost? - It seems that, uh,

I'm a loser.

- Shocking. Let's go.

- I always wondered, like, what if I went back?

And here the frig I am doing it.

I can't.

- What was your favorite part, years ago?

- Bonding with everybody

and having fun were my favorite moments that I,

like, remember and I laugh at, like, to this day.

And I miss those times.

- ♪ I wish we had a time machine ♪

- Here's to a good summer. - Here's to a good summer!

[all cheer]

- You guys, you know what's going on tonight?

But that is definitely the Situation.

- [screams]

- I'll go on that one next.

- ♪ Go back to the time with me ♪

- He's cute.

Do you want me to have your phone number?

[laughter]

- We're packing everything up

one last time for good and leaving.

It sucks.

Love you all.

[overlapping chatter]

- I hate goodbyes.

- How did you leave off with everybody?

- We kind of just went our separate ways basically.

- Look at these mountains.

You could bury a body over here.

- So the house is, like, right up here.

all: Hawkview Retreat.

- This is pretty. - Ooh, thisispretty.

Are the boys here?

- Which one should I do?

- I don't care. Let's go.

- I don't think anyone's here.

- No, I think we're the first. - I don't know.

Let's go. - Let's check it out.

- ♪ Bombshell ♪

♪ Give 'em all hell ♪

♪ Got 'em breathing heavy like a fiend ♪

Mmm.

♪ Such a high scale ♪

- Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.

Oh, my God, it's so pretty.

Oh, my God, the kitchen.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God!

I have to say, we really upgraded

with our house selections.

[upbeat hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- God, I can't wait to have a nice wine by the fire.

- What about Deena?

Deena and you had the closest relationship.

- I know, and Deena did me, like, the dirtiest, I feel.

- In what sense?

- Like, we had a great friendship.

Like, we would go to dinners together.

We would hang out.

And then she's filming "Jersey Shore Family Vacation"

with an ex that I, like, chose to stay away from,

so obviously I couldn't be a part of it.

but I still was hitting her up like,

"Hey, how are you? Let's get together."

She didn't even tell me she was moving.

I found out, so I was like, hey, how was the move?

And crickets. Not one text back.

At that point I sat there and I realized, like,

maybe this isn't...a friend who I thought she was.

- Wanna go upstairs?

- Yeah, let's go find our rooms.

- When it comes to picking rooms,

it's always been first come, first serve.

How pretty. - Oh, this is cozy, D!

- This is the meatball room. - All right,

this is the meatball room.

- Seaside, the boys were first.

Italy, the boys were first.

Miami, Manalapan.

- Oh, yeah!

- What else is down here?

[smooth R&B beat]

♪ ♪

- Oh, wow. - Very nice.

- Oh, my God. - [gasps]

Look at this. - This is nice.

- This sh*t has, like, fireplaces, TVs,

Jacuzzi bathtub, steam shower.

Oh, my God, I'm taking this room.

This has gotta be one of the most beautiful

suites I've ever been in.

- Oh, Mike's gonna want this room

'cause it's his trip.

- No. It's my room.

I've slept in a laundry room.

[washing machines rumbling]

- I can just tell you though, Mike is gonna be like--

- I don't give a f*ck.

- You have entered Hawkview Estate.

- I'm going to unpack. - Oh, he's gonna k*ll you.

- f*ck everybody.

- I may now claim my winnings.

- This...that...

- Looks nice.

- This looks like where the winners stay.

- Mike's gonna freak out.

Hurry up! - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, you have the nicest room.

- I'm so happy. - Mike's gonna...

- Your room is insane. - Have a frickin' meltdown.

- I'll just shut the door and say nothing's in there.

- Hello?

[girls gasping and screaming]

- Ooh, hello! - Hi!

- You're here! - Hi!

- Welcome to the casa.

- Did you guys claim rooms already?

- Yeah. Can you bring my suitcase up?

- Yeah. I'm gonna have to claim a bedroom before--

where's--what's open right now?

- Let's go sit in my room together

so nobody tries to steal it.

- This is the meatball room. - Okay.

What about this one? - That's open.

That's open.

- I hope you get to keep it.

- I am keeping it.

I will backhand anyone

that tries to steal my bedroom.

- Oh! - Oh!

- Oh! - See what I'm saying?

- Mm-mm.

- There's more rooms down and down.

- All right.

- I'm still shocked you guys couldn't have, like,

a relationship outside of the show.

They said you blocked them on Instagram or something.

- I blocked Nicole. I definitely blocked Nicole.

I'd recently opened up a boutique

on the beach, like, a beach boutique.

It was something different that nobody's done before.

It took a lot of time and, like, money and, like,

work to finally open up a store.

So right after I did that,

I found out Nicole was opening up a beach boutique.

And she does have two stores open already

that are her own brand.

So I felt like it was, like,

a little bit of a slap in the face.

And I was, like, so hurt that I just blocked her.

- She keeps talking about it.

I think she keeps saying something like--

- Yeah, I'll tell her the truth.

Like, I was hurt. I just want her to know why.

- What other rooms are open?

- Is he coming? - They're on their way down.

- [...]. - Hey, what is this?

- Ohh. - Ohh.

What's in here?

- You got your own living room? - Whose room is this?

- They got their own living room.

- Whose room is this?

- I claimed the room.

[tense music]

- Damn. This is a nice room.

Jenni grabbed the fireplace? - Jenni has a walk-in closet...

- Living room. - Walk-in bathroom.

- Damn.

Uh, wait a second, didn't I win the sweepstakes?

- But we were the first to arrive.

I slept in the f*cking closet last time.

- All right, fine. - Like, I really just

want a nice room. - Fine.

- [laughing] He's putting on the glasses...

- Fine. - 'Cause he's annoyed.

He's annoyed. - He's really upset.

- No.

Jenni has my room, but it's fine.

- Say it all you want. Mike is not fine.

But guess who is fine?

This b*tch.

- All right, so you wanna see the other rooms, Mike?

- Yeah. - Yes, yes, yes.

We're gonna have to see the other rooms.

Damn it.

[sighs] f*ck.

Yeah, I am definitely regretting not being first

to pick that room, 'cause now...

[toilet flushes]

I may have to share a bathroom with the meatballs.

Damn it.

m*therf*cker.

- How long has it been since you've spoken to--

- Probably-- since I've seen everybody,

Deena's wedding, which was, like, I think.

- Holy sh*t. That was, like--

- Six years ago.

- Holy sh*t. - Six years ago.

Like, I never spoke bad about one of them, not one time.

I never spoke bad about "Jersey Shore."

I never talked about it.

But Jenni was talking about me on some podcast recently.

- The thing that I got kind of, like, taken aback was,

Sammi commented under it.

That's gonna get me blocked.

- So you definitely still have a little beef with Sammi,

the way you just said that.

- Like, there's unfinished business

that we need to, like, resolve.

- This is amazing.

We've both got beef with the girls.

I'm gonna finally have another girl in the house

that is not afraid to stand up to Jenni.

- I can't be fake. I can't.

- I just have a feeling things are gonna go down

in this house.

You should drink that Red Bull.

- This is a dope house.

- I love the house.

- How fun. - I'm open! I'm open!

- Oh! - [gasps]

There's ba*ls flying all over the place.

both: That's what she said.

[upbeat music]

- How you doing? - Good.

I need to get to Hawkview Retreat.

Life has been super busy since New Orleans.

I'm setting up a new residency in Atlantic City.

And I've done some shows in Las Vegas,

Chicago, New York, Miami.

So I'm really excited to see everybody.

It's been a while.

Sure is cold out here.

Not sure how this is a vacation, Mike.

- We are now miles away.

- So wait, fill me in on, like,

everything that's been going on.

- Okay, so let me tell you the story.

When the whole thing, the proposal,

happened in New Orleans, Jenni was being very shady.

She was asking these crazy questions.

Her man was laughing at me.

I love the fact that I have somebody right now

just listening to me and, like, hearing my side of things,

because Sammi hasn't been in the loop in a long time.

So, you know, she's kind of like--

she's Switzerland right now.

I just called her out on her f*cking shadiness.

- What?

- Are you cooking steak tonight?

- No. When I cook,

all you guys just make fun of me.

- I can make sausage and peppers.

- Yeah, we got moms.

We got moms that know how to cook.

- You need me to cook, I'll cook.

I got a great room. I'm so happy.

- Oh! - Oh!

- Are you gonna make your lemon and onion salad?

- I'm a real chef, and chefs actually don't cook.

I'm overseeing it. I'm gonna season it.

Deena, where's the f*cking charcuterie?

Let's go. Cooks cook.

Chefs don't cook.

So nice being back with the fam.

- So as bad as it was, it actually got worse...

- Oh, no. - At the reunion that just

happened a few days ago. - Okay.

I don't know if I'm ready to insert myself into this.

- I called Jenni out on her f*cking sh*t.

She's saying that she didn't do it.

Nicole's like, "You're f*cking crazy. She didn't do that."

All of a sudden, I just hear Deena jumping in--

[imitating yelling] And I'm like, oh, no, I'm done.

She was like, fight me, baby. - Deena?

Wow, you have a lot of stuff

going on with you and the girls.

- I was like, don't f*cking raise your--I went nuts.

- Seems like she's fighting with everybody.

I have my own sh*t to worry about.

Like, I can't worry about you.

What am I getting myself into?

This is so weird. - I'm like, okay.

Fight you, baby? Okay. - Go to the right.

Oh, my God.

- ♪ I see a storm coming ♪

♪ I feel, I feel like running ♪

- Laurens just texted me, "How is everybody doing?"

I'm like, we're vibing, cooking right now.

- Such a vibe.

- What a nice family.

- All right, these are real scratch-offs.

I got these on the way here.

Who do you think has some good luck today?

- When Mike gets into something,

he gets obsessed with it.

- What if I win?

- We'll split the winnings, okay?

- First it was the boards in the basement.

Then it was cornhole.

Now it's the lottery.

This man has a problem.

- You want a spoon?

- A spoon might be better, yeah.

- She's a married woman. [chuckles]

- [gasps] We just won $!

- No, we didn't. - Stop it.

- [continues screaming] - Are you sure?

- Stop it. - Yeah, look!

! - Stop it.

- $! - Let me see.

Let me see. Let me see. - I don't believe her.

- $!

Prank!

- Agh!

God. - Oh, my God.

Mike just got so excited.

- Sorry. - Where's the garbage, guys?

- She'll be here later. [laughs]

- I didn't do anything.

I would tell you. Listen, the clip was there.

It's very black and white right there.

So, like, why do I have to say sorry?

Why do I have to be in this predicament again?

I'm not doing sit-downs with people

when I didn't do anything.

- Oh, my God, Angelina can talk.

- I changed a lot from back in the day,

even though I'm still a crazy b*tch.

I will not--back in the day,

didn't I take a lot of people's sh*t?

I will not take their sh*t no more.

- Whoa. Like, I hope these girls don't

think that I'm your sidekick and you're bringing me

into this drama to, like, side with you

on your guys' problems.

Like, that is not something I wanna be a part of.

I have nothing to do with this. Little do they know,

I have nothing to do with this. - Get the f*ck out of here.

- This is nice. - Mm-hmm.

- All right, I can set the table.

Is it eight of us?

Eight of us. - No.

Ron would be eight.

- Ron would be eight. Really?

- What time does Sammi get here?

[laughter]

- Shut up. - Nicole's blocked.

- Oh, my God. - Like, what are we, four?

- How dare you open a store in Seaside.

- That's literally why she got mad.

Then she blocked my store and all my employees.

- I'm blocked too since we did "BFFs."

- She's mean.

- Eight miles away, Sam.

- Oh, my God, I'm sh1tting myself.

Honestly, I'm freaking out.

There's things that happened with our friendships

through the years that weren't the best.

- She's too good for us.

- She's not a woman's woman.

- This can go two ways by me coming into this house.

Either the roommates look at me and be like,

what the hell is she doing here?

Kind of like how they are with Angelina.

- You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

- Oh, sh*t. - Huh?

- Why the [...] are you here?

- Or they're gonna be like, hi, Sam, like, how's it going?

Like, it could go both ways, and I don't know--

honestly, I really don't know what way it's gonna go.

I don't want negativity. I don't want drama.

Like, I'm here to resolve issues, not keep them going.

- Buckle up, girl.

♪ ♪

[electronic hip-hop beat]

- One mile away.

[squeals] God.

I have very bad anxiety right now.

- You? Ange, I'm trying not to, like, throw up.

Oh, my God. Do you think they're gonna

be happy to see me?

- I don't know. I--I don't, like--

like, I don't even f*cking know--

like, they're not gonna be happy to see me.

- Are the sit-downs before or after dinner?

- Shut up.

- Listen, I am not here to fight.

I feel like, after Angelina stood up at the reunion...

- Don't f*cking raise your f*cking voice to me.

- Whoa. - All right.

[overlapping chatter]

- My friendship with her is out the window.

So I don't know how things are gonna be.

- They're assholes. - If I would've known

that you had problems with the girls...

- Yeah, but they're not-- - I probably wouldn't have--

- They better not project it on you.

- They better not-- - No, you have

your own sh*t with them.

- Yep, you should practice sitting down for the sit-down.

[dramatic music]

- Hawkview Retreat. Here we are.

- I'm literally freaking out on the inside, freaking out.

Oh, my God, this is crazy.

So nervous. My stomach is wobbling.

- Someone just pulled up. - All right, any bets?

Any bets who it is? Angelina?

- [sighs] I really hope it's Pauly.

♪ ♪

- I'm scared.

I have such bad anxiety.

- [whispers] Oh, God, I can't wait to see their faces.

- I haven't seen these people in a long time.

So I kind of don't know them anymore.

♪ ♪

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

♪ ♪

Hi.

♪ ♪

- Holy sh*t.

- Surprise.

- Don't be so excited.

- Oh, my God. - Hey, what's up?

- Am I in the twilight zone?

- Oh, my--can I hug you? - Yeah.

- It's really Sam?

- It's really me.

- ♪ Listen to my heart ♪

♪ My soul is lonely for you ♪

- Oh, my God. - That was a nice one.

- Never thought I would see you ever.

- ♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

- Wow. - Hi, Sam.

It's really nice to see you.

- I can't believe it's real.

Like, I wanna touch her face and make sure it's really her.

I can't believe it.

- Aw. Stop, you're gonna make me cry.

- I truly never thought Sammi would ever come back.

We're finally all together.

This is, like, a really great surprise.

- Mind blown.

- Oh, my God, it's happening.

This is an epic moment in "Jersey Shore" history.

Sammi is back after a decade.

- It's been, like, six, seven, ten years.

I don't even know.

- If Jenni's face could move,

it would definitely be super shocked right now.

- Oh, my God.

- How are you? - Good. How are you?

- We joke around about Sammi coming back all the time.

- Sam get here yet?

- What time does Sammi get here?

- Did you meet Sam?

She's very quiet.

- Probably the next step is for you and Sam

to get back together.

[laughter]

- But we only joke around like that

because it's so far-fetched of her actually coming.

It's like saying Jesus is coming.

- We've been trying so hard

to get you back. - We thought you hated us.

We missed you. - Aww.

You're gonna make me cry. Stop.

- Oh, my God, you're back.

♪ ♪

- What the f*ck?

When I came back into the mix, everybody was not so inviting.

Like, wow, she didn't have to deal with what I dealt with.

But hey, listen, they wanted Sammi back so bad.

I brought her. Hey.

You know, I was the one that made it happen.

I don't know how I did it, but I did it.

- Yo, yo, what is happening?

Listen, Angelina had major beef with the girls.

So she did a little bit of a pit stop beforehand,

brought Sammi, totally blew the whole dynamic up.

Smoke and mirrors? Deflections?

It was a pretty good move.

- How was your drive?

- It was great actually.

I had a really nice drive with Angelina.

She, like, filled me in

and caught me up on some things.

[dramatic music]

- Oh, God. All of us are in, like,

such a weird place because of the reunion.

I really just hope Sam didn't feed off Angelina's energy.

- We have a lot to talk about, I feel.

I've been seeing interviews. People tag me in things.

So I'm like, these girls definitely have beef with me.

- No. - No.

- I have no beef. - It just got down to,

sick of them asking. - I have no beef.

I'm just blocked. That's all.

♪ ♪

- I definitely blocked you for a reason.

- Why? - You know why.

- Uh-oh.

The sweetest b*tch you ever met is back.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Ey, I come with the beat of the drum ♪

- [Australian accent] Where are you taking us, mate?

- I've been seeing interviews,

so I'm like, these girls definitely have beef with me.

- No. - No.

- I have no beef. - It just got down to,

sick of them asking. - I have no beef.

I'm just blocked. That's all.

- I definitely blocked you for a reason.

- Why? - You know why.

[dramatic music]

I just worked so hard to be able to finally open up

a beach boutique on the boardwalk,

so when I found out, like, right after,

you were opening up a beach boutique,

I was hurt.

- I didn't do that intentionally.

I'm a franchise. - Well, now we are here

talking about it.

- Yeah, girl.

Get it. [laughs]

- I thought women support women here.

- I supported you through all these years, Nicole.

I've had my store for, like, ten years now.

I've never once said one thing. - Yeah, but you blocked me

because I did that. - Yes, because it was

right after I opened up a beach boutique.

So yes, I was very hurt over it.

♪ ♪

- Wait, what?

- So you were offended that I opened up

a store in Seaside?

- This is, like, first world problems.

They're fighting over, like, having stores.

- I'm upset that the brand is beach boutique,

where it's not as similar as your other two stores.

- It's like, you have a beach boutique next to mine.

- I don't wanna ruin your business.

I don't want you to affect my business.

-Andyou sell sandals.

- It's just, when I found that out,

I was like, whoa.

I didn't want that taken from me.

- It wasn't taken from you.

- I only sell sandals, not you.

- It's not a beach boutique.

- The design is beach boutique.

Is it not? - No.

- Well, no, I don't sell sandals.

I sell seashells.

Well, they're still ocean-themed.

- Not like the cheetah, leopard, stripes

like your other two stores. - No, I have

the same inventory for all stores.

- You don't have, like, beach-like things

like, going on in there? - No, I sell beach things.

It's on the beach.

- Okay. - [chuckling]

- Why are you mad? - This is why I'm hurt.

- Why would you be mad though

if I opened a store on the beach?

- They're fighting over who sells seashells

by the seashore.

Literally.

- That was my third store.

It wasn't a beach store.

It was the same product-- - I know now that it's not.

And it was a petty move on my part to block you.

- Yeah, it sucked.

- What's wrong? Are you okay?

- I just hate that she blocked me.

It's just such a stupid thing

to block me over and hate me for.

Like, we can both have stores.

- I don't wanna come after, like, that.

I was just upset.

- No, it's fine.

- I hope that we can, like, move on from that.

- Yeah, I don't like fighting with people that I truly love.

So cheers.

- Me either.

- You gotta be f*cking kidding me.

That's it? If it was me,

I wouldn't have gotten a pass so quick.

- Can you unblock me now?

- I would love to.

Ange, you're awfully quiet though.

- I'm just--I'm letting you guys do your thing.

- So there was mad sh*t-talking

in the car on the ride here, huh?

- No. She filled me in on just what's going on with you guys.

But I also was just saying, like, the problems that I had

with all of you, but that's really it.

- No one has beef with you, I don't think.

- Deena.

- All right, take two.

Here we go.

- I don't have beef with you.

- You were, like, not answering my texts and stuff.

- When? - "Hey, congrats on the move.

Where'd you move to?" No answer.

"Hey, you wanna get together?" No answer.

- I'm not even gonna lie, I'm, like, terrible with texts.

- I just don't chase people, so if, like...

- And that's fine. - Somebody's not answering me,

I was like, all right, she'll text me eventually.

And you just never did. And, like, I just felt

like our friendship fell apart.

- I mean, it was, like, four years ago.

I don't remember.

And, like, I had a baby. I had a lot going on.

So, like, I'm not gonna lie, like, I wasn't the greatest

at text messages, so I would probably be like,

all right, I'm gonna get back to her.

But I feel terrible

she thought that I wasn't her friend.

I have to fix this.

I apologize if I ever hurt you in any way

or I didn't reach out to you.

I'm happy that you walked through the door.

I am extremely happy. - I'm happy that you feel

like that because I, like, love our--

I loved our friendship. - I loved our friendship too.

- I was so sad. - It happens.

People go their separate ways,

and then they find each other back to each other.

- Yeah. If you can move on with me,

I would like to move on from it.

- Yeah.

- Are you serious? Come on.

- I'm here for a good time, not a bad time.

And I wanna, like, resolve issues

and make them go away.

And Jenni,

we have things to, like, address.

♪ ♪

- Yes, finally.

Someone's gonna stand up to Jenni.

- I watch your interviews, and you're just like,

can we just, like, not talk about her?

And I thought that was, like, hurtful,

and, like, why would she do that?

- In my opinion, the meatballs are

very scared of Jenni, and Sam's not.

- I don't like you. - I don't like you!

- Ah! Stop! Stop!

- I'm not scared of Jenni either.

I just don't wanna f*cking deal with it.

- Why are you being messy, coming for me now?

- No. - I'm like, I don't say

one thing about you ever.

- No, I know that.

Literally three weeks ago, I was in an interview.

I'd just got asked the same question

that I had been asked every m*therf*cking time:

"When is Sammi coming back?"

And I went off.

The thing that I got kind of, like, taken aback was,

Sammi commented under her TikTok, and I was like,

oh, I thought you don't like "Jersey Shore" anymore.

- Oh. - That's gonna get me blocked.

- Why do you care whose TikTok I'm commenting on?

It was weird. - 'Cause I was like--

- Even Dave Portnoy was like,

well, obviously you still have beef with her,

and it came off like that... - No beef.

- Completely. - No beef.

You have to understand, I have always loved Sammi.

The problem that I started having was,

she wanted nothing to do with the show.

But we're the show, so to me I felt like

Sammi had a problem with us.

I see the TikToks for "Jersey Shore,"

and I'm like, why is she talking

about the show when she wants nothing to do with it?

- But who said I didn't want anything to do with it?

- Well, now I see that.

- I couldn't be in a house with a toxic ex.

You guys maybe didn't really know,

but nobody's really ever asked me either.

- Uh-oh.

Are you ready to come back?

- I'm ready to come back. - You're ready to come back.

- I feel good, bro.

- So it wasn't like I hated "Jersey Shore."

It was kind of like, I had to, like, get my sh*t together

and figure out my life. - Very fair.

- Especially when I just got out of it.

- Well, I apologize.

I genuinely love you.

- Okay. - And I was just a hurt friend.

And I really, really miss you.

- Thank you. - I miss you.

- You're so sweet, 'cause I really wasn't sure.

I'm like, it could go both ways.

- No, we were begging you to come back.

- I wanna resolve issues, not fight over,

and I hoped that you guys would welcome it,

and you guys did.

I'm just so, so happy.

- Welcome back, Sammi. - Whoo!

- Yay!

- Oh, my God. She's only been here for,

like, f*cking minutes,

and she's already made up with everybody?

I'm f*cked.

I'm f*cked.

- I was scared.

I'm not gonna lie, I was scared.

- You think we would see you

and freak out and say, get out?

- Thought we would scream at you?

- No, we only do that to Angelina.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- ♪ We were young and we were dumb ♪

♪ We were always on the run ♪

♪ How I miss those brighter days ♪

♪ Just bring me back, just bring me back, yeah ♪

- Welcome back, Sammi. [all cheer]

all: Sammi's back!

- Whoo! - Sam's here.

- What in the world? - Do you guys remember Sam?

- What the f*ck?

- I can't believe this is happening.

- Damn, Sam, like the ghost of Christmas past.

- You better not come for me, Mike.

- No. Do we have a fight?

- Yes. - Not you.

Anyway.

[laughter] - Come on, Mike.

- Where's Pauly?

- Mic check.

- He's not here yet.

- We have to surprise him.

We have to. - Yes, yes, yes.

- A couple years ago, Pauly pranked us

with a Sammi doll.

Ah! - [screams]

- What the f*ck is that?

- I'm the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

all: Oh!

- So we're going to prank Pauly with Sammi.

We should hide her in a room,

like, in a closet. - Should I jump out?

- Oh, wait, she's hiding in my room,

'cause it's so huge.

- [sighs]

- Jenni, where's your room at?

- It's the East Wing.

- Sam, come on.

Maybe the shower.

- Oh, no, maybe the closet, the walk-in closet.

- When he comes in here, you jump out.

- No, let her jump out-- she can jump through there.

- Where?

- Look, right here, right here.

- But you can see behind the thing.

- No, no, no, you can't see over there. I checked.

One thing that my roommates and I do well

is overcomplicate everything.

- I think she should just sit.

- I can see her shoes.

- He's never gonna think that's Sam's shoes.

So trying to figure out how to hide Sammi became

like f*cking how do we get to space?

- You should be reading a book.

Give her a book. Give her a book.

- Oh, put her in the movie theater.

- What about her-- just, like, her back?

- Her back? What the f*ck?

- It just became like trying to solve the greatest riddle.

Hide her in one of the bedrooms.

- He's gonna walk in and see everybody

and just start talking.

He's not gonna care about the room.

- He's coming in soon.

Like, just jump up and be like, surprise,

you f*cking morons.

[upbeat music]

- Guys, he's coming.

I see lights. I see lights.

- Just come on this side.

And just jump up.

- Get down. You get down.

- All right. - Get down.

Pauly prides himself on being the prank w*r champion

and not really getting shocked and surprised,

so we can't blow this.

- Wait, who's gonna give me, like,

the pop up sign? - We'll tap her.

- No, let's give her a code word.

- What about, like, "lasagna" or something?

- How's the lasagna? - How's the lasagna?

- Yeah, then you pop up. - Pop up.

- Okay. - Get down.

- All right, Pauly's coming.

- No one accidentally say "lasagna,"

'cause we're all so f*cked up--

- ...even making lasagna. - I don't know!

We're all f*cked up. We'll accidentally say lasagna.

- We're not making lasagna.

- Okay, lasagna's not a thing. - Not gonna have the lasagna.

- Everybody's gotta meet him in the front.

- Oh, my God. - He's gonna freak out.

- Act natural.

- Wait, you still see your head.

- Get on all fours, Sam.

- It's dirty. The floor is dirty.

I don't like it.

- Shh, shh, shh. - He's coming.

- He's walking in. - Wait!

We can't be looking at the door like...

- Yeah, talk to each other. Do overtalk.

- Overtalk.

- Hello! [all scream]

- It's Pauly!

- Yes! - Did someone order a DJ?

[all cheer]

- We missed you. - What's up? What's up?

- How's it smell in here?

- We got sausage and peppers. We got steak.

- We all cooked. - Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

- Oh!

sh*t. - Record it.

- Oh, yeah? - It's a remix.

- All right. - It's a remix.

- Oh, yeah? - Okay.

- How was your drive? - Oh, yeah?

- Okay! - Oh, yeah?

- I'm crouched down on the floor.

It's dirty.

I have crumbs all over my arms and my hands,

and I'm like, come on, guys. Can we just do this?

- What did we make? We have sausage and pepper...

- Sausage and pepper.

- We got pasta. - Pasta and sauce.

- We got steak. - Hummus.

- Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? [playing on repeat]

- Pauly, can you please shut it--

- Pauly, stop the noise!

[all shouting]

- We made your favorite food.

all: Lasagna!

- Oh, nice.

What the f*ck?

[laughter]

- Pauly, we made your favorite food!

all: Lasagna!

- What the f*ck? [laughter]

What am I looking at right now?

I had to go like this. Like, is this a--

is this the Sammi doll, or is Sammi actually here?

Wait, are you real? - How are you?

- Whoo! - Of course.

- How are you? Oh, my God.

- Let's see if you say something.

"Ron, stop."

- Ron, stop!

Oh, my God.

Pauly had the best reaction.

He just makes me feel so good on the inside.

- Do you live in New Jersey? - Yeah.

- Where? - Don't tell Nicole.

She might open up a store there.

- Oh... [all exclaim]

- That's okay. - Store Wars.

It's a new show. - Wait.

[glass breaks] all: Oh!

- sh*t. - f*cking table.

- Meatball problems.

- Am I a meatball now?

- Ah, I remember my first reality show.

Sorry, she's a little rusty.

- Yeah. [laughter]

- She hasn't filmed in a while.

- Oh, my God, I just feel like I never left.

Everybody was so welcoming,

and I'm kind of blown away,

and I just feel, like, really touched.

- Damn, we got, like, a full house now.

- Like... - Oh, hey, Sam.

Oh, hey, Sam.

Oh, hey, Sam.

- It seems like they're genuinely happy

to have me here,

and I'm just so, so happy.

- Well, do you wanna find a room?

- No. - Yeah.

- There's a nice room downstairs.

- I just feel like I'm at home again.

It's weird. I feel like I never left.

- How did this happen?

- I DMed her. - Yeah.

We've been trying to get her back for years.

- I don't know, but it was like--it worked.

- Amazing.

- This is great.

Everyone's attention's on Sam.

Everyone's in a great mood, and hopefully,

this will keep the girls off my back,

and I can actually enjoy myself on this trip.

I was, like, worried to even come here,

like, 'cause of everything from the reunion.

But, like, this is, like, positive,

so I'm glad that it happened.

- I mean, everything is just so cloudy with Sam

that I totally forgot about the reunion.

- I felt like nobody else should have gotten involved.

I was like, what the f*ck?

- Hey, you were defending yourself.

You didn't have to be so aggressive about it.

- Ugh.

m*therf*cker.

Here we go again with the standing up sh*t.

I was never gonna hit her.

I was never gonna hit her.

Don't f*cking raise your f*cking voice to me.

- All right, ma'am. - Come hit me, baby.

- You got up like you were gonna f*cking f*ck up Deena.

- No, I was not. I was like--

I--she was raising her voice.

I raised it louder.

- Anytime we have an argument,

why do you have to go for the jugular?

- She was screaming at me.

- Angelina, you started it.

- Why am I-- I'm starting it?

What the f*ck?

- Where's Nicole? - With Angelina.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Put yourself in my shoes.

- You're not the odd one out.

You make all this drama.

Like, so dramatic. - No.

I saw what she did at the f*cking table.

- Okay, but why can't we move on?

- If I feel hurt about something,

I'm gonna f*cking express it.

I was in a bad place

because you guys were all coming at me.

- I wasn't coming at you.

Girl, we're not coming for you.

Like, we're all just--

we're all one big, happy family,

so can we stop this bullshit?

Nobody wants this drama. - I don't either,

but Deena was yelling at me, and I lost it.

- Yeah, but we also all have feelings,

so I don't really-- - But I have feelings too.

You guys don't think I am this way,

but I do cry a lot.

- Yeah, so do I, and I don't like it.

- I can't believe my whole lemon onion salad

got overshadowed by Sammi.

What time's Ron get here? - [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Is this the right environment for me?

- No. - Whatever happened with Jenni,

I don't give a f*ck.

- Are they fighting? - I heard a situation.

- To me, you come off, like, a little bit annoying.

- Shots fired. all: Oh!

- Vinny, shut the f*ck up. - Flip the table!

- I've never had this much drama

with a friend before.

- You guys both obviously have big issues.

- I don't give a f*ck anymore.

- What did I just get myself into?