Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

06x11 - F.F.D. 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation". Aired: April 5, 2018 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Series is a revival, sequel, and reunion series of the reality television series Jersey Shore, which ran from 2009 to 2012.

06x11 - F.F.D. 2

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Mike and I had an agreement to go

at each other on Twitter.

But calling me a felon?

You hit below the belt really hard.

- This is your gender reveal!

There's your plane.

- My wife is going to flip out.

- Where's Mike?

If he's in a plane, I'm gonna m*rder all of you.

[upbeat music]

- Lauren, that's him!

- Ah!

- Yeah, right there. That's him.

Is it blue or pink?

It's pink!

- It's a girl! - It's a girl!

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I keep rising ♪

♪ I rise ♪

- Another meatball is on the way.

- Mike, that was epic.

- Well, this was a success. - Yes.

- Mike, you k*lled that, man. - Yes.

- Now we can go home.

- No more MVP days on this trip.

- Chaperoned ones only.

♪ Did you hear? ♪

♪ I been getting over with the new year ♪

♪ But he's got a way to do it ♪

- Guys, I just have to get something.

I will meet you in the suite.

- All right.

- See you guys later.

- So Deena is up to something.

- She's definitely gonna make us dress up.

- Is she gonna dress us like this thing?

- Ew.

- I got a package sent here under Deena.

- She's definitely gonna bring us T-shirts.

- Do you think they're gonna love it?

- I think some will hate it.

- Maybe it's a bunch of beads.

- It could be beads.

- a**l beads?

- We can't go an entire family vacation without having--

- Matching outfits.

- Yeah.

I would like to do a matching family photo.

- Welcome to my life, matching outfits.

- We are getting dressed up today, people.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Oh, God, what'd she bring?

- What are you up to?

- What do you have, b*tch?

- There's the box of fun.

- We can't go a family vacation without putting

a little Deener spin on things.

Drumroll, please.

- Please be fun.

Is it fun?

- A NOLA-themed--

- Jazz night.

- --jazz night.

- Oh, wow.

- No.

[laughter]

I just got done with "Dancing with the Stars."

[upbeat music]

I am done wearing costumes.

- I got everybody's sizes.

- I'm not wearing that.

- This is just what we do in this family.

Like, come on.

- These are definitely not gonna fit me.

- All right, let's go get ready.

- Oh, God.

- ♪ You get me so excited ♪

- Ew.

- I don't know.

- I feel like a chooch.

Now, I know what the chooch feels like.

- I am fully committed.

- If I fall right now, dude.

- I'm f*cking--people either.

- Where does this go, honey?

- It goes on your head like this.

- Oh, it looks cute.

Maybe you could wear this later.

[laughs]

- Deener? - Hello.

- Ooh.

- You look cute.

- So Gatsby.

So I feel like we have to plan Angeliner's thing.

- Yes, we do.

- We have to figure out a day to do

Angelina's divorce party.

We haven't set it up yet.

- We have to brainstorm.

- Hello. - Hi.

- What are you doing?

- [burps] Ugh.

- Bless you, bless you. - I'm so sorry.

I am so hungover.

Oh, my God, I want to die.

- Massage? - I need one.

My legs-- I wish you were here, because you

would massage my legs.

I'd be like, "Please massage my legs."

I was going back and forth in my head about bringing Vinny

on this trip to New Orleans.

- Are you gonna bring him to NOLA?

- I don't know.

What do you guys think I should do?

- Are you prepared for that introduction?

- Can you come here tomorrow?

I've decided I'm gonna invite him to New Orleans,

because everybody else has their person.

And I miss him.

And I want him to be here with me.

- I can arrange that.

I miss you, so I definitely want to see you.

- Yeah, I would love for you to come, babe.

I miss you, too.

- What did we do at her bachelorette?

We did, like, the ghost tour.

- It ends with him strangling her to death,

and there was some necrophilia going on.

- What the f*ck is that?

- He was making sweet, sweet love to her dead body.

- Maybe we could do ghosties again,

but, like, do more of, like, a cleanse for her.

Ange just needs a nice cleansing,

maybe some Reiki or an exorcism.

She has been through so much with Chris

that she needs to get rid of all that energy

that's on her shoulders.

- A whole spooky day.

- She would love that.

- So come here, help me out, babe.

I need my person with me, and I know

he can help with the situation that happened between Mike

and I, this whole Twitter beef sh*t

and our text messages between each other.

Mike took it upon himself to insert himself out of nowhere

tweeting bad stuff about me.

- I saw all those tweets. - Yeah, I saw that.

- But then-- but then they were deleted.

- It doesn't matter.

- So he realized--

- Even though Mike and I brought it up last night,

it's gonna come to a head soon, I'm sure.

- Do you see what he's doing?

- You're saying that there was an argument that

had nothing to do with us.

- Let's not dismiss her feelings.

- I'm really glad that Vin's coming.

He's not like my ex that just let everything roll off

his back like, "It's all right."

No, it's not all right.

Like, he's not gonna allow anybody to disrespect me.

See you tomorrow, babe.

- Bye. - Bye.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, jezebels. - Hey.

- Ooh.

- Oh, you look great.

- I love this on you.

- I wish people still dressed like this.

- I love this. - Let's bring it back.

- Whoa.

[all shouting]

- Everyone looks funny as hell in these jazz costumes.

People got pocket watches on.

People have fedoras on.

Chris Buckner looks like a paperboy.

Extra, extra, read all about it.

- So tonight, I feel like we get some nice, authentic NOLA

cuisine again.

You guys down?

Let's go.

- We got to get out of here, see?

It's dinner.

We're gonna be late for our reservation now.

- Extra, extra, read all about it.

- I cannot wait to get my jazz on.

- You look like one of the waiters.

- I know.

- Can I get some bread and butter?

- I'll get in the back. - What's up?

- f*ck off.

- Pauly, where are we going to dinner tonight?

- Oh, this place is real authentic.

You're gonna like it.

- Last night, Pauly took us to an authentic Italian meal,

and it was amazing.

The Italian Barrel?

- This is authentic NOLA food right here.

- Ooh, wow, thank you.

- Oh, my God.

- This place is good.

- So I'm excited to see what Pauly

has up his sleeve for tonight.

- All right, let's get it.

- You're gonna like this place.

- Wait, weren't we here before?

- This place looks familiar. - Which way?

Which way?

- Will you sit next to me? - Right here?

- Yes. - The Barrel.

- Wait, it's the same place as yesterday?

- It's the Barrel.

- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Everybody loved it the first time.

Why not go back again?

- So are we just gonna be eating here every night?

- Maybe. They got chicken parm.

- Look, the waiter already has our order.

We'll just do the same thing.

- Ooh, I like the vibe.

- I don't remember this place.

- You don't remember?

- I don't remember even looking at this menu.

I was trashed last night, and I don't remember even being

in this f*cking restaurant.

So for me, this is a new thing.

Was it good? - It was very good.

- ♪ Let's go ♪

- Wow, look at that board right there.

- Oh, my God. - Ooh.

- Oh, wow. - Damn.

- This is, like, golden.

- Vin, you want some?

- No, I don't want any of your clam.

- Sure.

- Do you have ketchup?

[tense music]

- Ketchup? Are you Honey Boo Boo?

She asked for ketchup.

- Yeah, for my cutlet.

- No, get out of here. - Why?

It's a chicken cutlet with ketchup.

- That's sacrilegious to Italians.

You're supposed to do sauce.

- Babe, whatever you want with that, you can have it.

- Thanks, babe.

- No, go wait outside.

- Oh, look, he's pissed.

- Vin, don't make me put my hat on.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What are you gonna do, throw a newspaper at me?

[laughter]

- Yo, it would probably knock your a*s out.

[together] Oh!

- OK.

- Well, Ange, we usually hash things out on family dinner.

- Ooh!

- Oh, here we go.

- And I understand that you were upset about one

of my tweets, and I think it's the perfect time

to just really hash it out so that we

can move forward, you know?

- I was taken back, because you weren't

involved with the whole fight.

- What are you doing, Angelina?

- Oh, damn.

- Why are you talking sh*t?

- I thought at the time that it wasn't a big deal,

because we had this text exchange about live tweeting

for our show.

- I'm gonna be very honest with you

I don't remember what we said.

- No surprise, Angeliners is getting defensive right now,

and she's ready for all the smoke.

Just-- just so you have the same information,

I sent the receipts to everyone.

- Ooh!

- sh*t!

- It's happening.

- So we're gonna role play, and I'm gonna play myself.

And Vinny is gonna play you.

- Oh!

- Oh, here we go.

- Come on.

- Uh-uh, let's-- let's just--

we should not go here.

- I didn't know I was performing tonight.

- Yes.

- I would have worn something different.

- Yes. - Oh, God, hide the wine.

Hide our martinis.

The water, put it away, because this is gonna be a disaster.

♪ ♪

- You take no accountability for anything in your life.

- Really? I never do?

- You said let's tweet crazy.

- Not that crazy.

- FFD!

- Ahh!

- Oh, damn.

- Oh, my vag*na!

- How you doing, babe?

- That's my man.

I'm nervous about going.

Like, anybody talk sh*t about my Vinny,

there's gonna be a f*cking problem.

- Angelina was giving this Vinny a lap dance.

- [laughs]

- ♪ Here comes the troublemaker ♪

- We had this text exchange.

- Right.

- So we're gonna role play.

And I'm gonna play myself.

And Vinny is gonna play you.

- Oh!

- OK, I'm Angelina.

["The Entertainer" from "The Sting" soundtrack]

♪ ♪

"Let's tweet crazy."

- "If I say anything you don't like,

please just text me, and I'll delete."

- "No, LOL, leave it.

"I'm not the other girls.

"I can deal.

"Just don't say sl*t, because that sh*t

"ain't allowed no more.

Ha ha ha ha ha."

- This is so stupid.

What are you trying to get at right now?

- We had this conversation.

And I said at any particular time

you were upset contact me, and I'll delete it.

I didn't get any of that.

So I didn't know what you were pissed at.

- You knew what I was mad at.

You just came out of, like, left field

and said I should have had a felony for throwing

water at somebody.

- No, no, no, no, no, I didn't--

I didn't--

- You literally looked up--

- --I didn't say that you should have had a felony.

- Yes, you did.

- I said that it was a felony.

Listen, it takes a felon to spot a felony.

Did you throw water?

- Who gives a f*ck?

- Can you even answer that question?

- This is my first night, and already there's drama.

I mean, I'm here for it, but also I

want to eat my frickin' food.

- Did you f*cking not pay your taxes, yes or no?

- Whoa.

- Yes, I did, and I--

- And then you got a felony, right?

- --and I went to prison, took accountability--

- I've taken accountability for throwing water.

- --went to probation.

- I said sorry to Nikki and Pauly the next day.

I threw it.

I'm so sorry I did that, by the way.

- Things got heated, and it was--

I mean--

- Yeah, it didn't need to go that far.

I apologize as well.

- You take no accountability for anything in your life.

- Really? I never do?

- You can't even admit you threw a bottle of water

in front of all of us.

- Mike is, like, really coming hard with the receipts.

- I just asked you just now, and you said--

- I don't give a f*ck what you're asking me.

You're not involved in that f*cking fight.

Get out of it.

- Angelina is getting more and more angry.

- Who gives a f*ck?

- I just want to make it stop, make it stop.

- You said, "Let's tweet crazy."

- Not that crazy.

Why are you trying to f*cking discredit

my feelings right now?

- Oh, my God, I've been looking for you.

Can I please get another dirty martini, please?

- How I feel--

- Oh, my God.

- --is that you initiated this.

- Oh. - And you--

- Here we go, gaslighter. - --texted me.

You initiated this. - OK.

- I think he's saying that you guys could

go back and forth on Twitter.

- But I never allowed that.

I never said anything.

- What do you mean, you never said anything?

I have the text exchange here.

- I never f*cking said one time that you could say felony.

I never bought that sh*t up. That's a lie.

- Oh, my God. - That's a lie.

- It's very hard when it comes to Angelina in an argument.

It's like you're arguing with a wall.

And we all know BDS's history when it comes to walls.

- [bleep] - Stop!

- Look at you, bro.

- You all right?

- So I need to abort mission right now so that we

can move forward as a squad.

- The felony thing was below the belt,

and you f*cking know it. That's weird.

- If it hurt your feelings, I apologize.

I really do. - It did hurt my feelings.

- I really do.

I thought that we were tweeting crazy,

and I'm sorry if there was a miscommunication.

- It was a big one.

- I apologize.

I don't want to hurt your feelings.

You know, we've known each other for years.

We've got into some really epic fights together,

but I want to move forward, you know?

Come on.

[all shouting]

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Bring it in. - All right.

- Sorry. - Yay!

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- All right. - Thank you.

- Extra, extra, Mike and Angelina make up.

cents a paper now.

- Well, that was fun.

- Oh, guys, I have an announcement to make.

No-nut November is over.

- Oh!

- Ew.

- Yeah, we weren't gonna tell you guys.

- It was a good run. - A good run?

You lasted a week. - It was a good nine days.

[laughs]

Yeah, I mean, no-nut November was much more challenging

than I thought, especially when you hit that bed

and see the laptop right over there looking at you.

It's tough.

I made it, like, special.

- Ew, disgusting.

- I lit some candles.

I put down some flowers.

I watched my favorite film.

- Ugh.

- All right, let's play a game.

- Vinny's dinner games.

You should start a series.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- You can't eat dinner without playing games.

We could play the story one where we each say one word

and make a story. - I like that one.

- Whatever you want to do, Vin.

- OK, I'll start it.

- You always gotta f*cking... - Oh, my God.

- Let us ease into it first.

- Where did that come from?

- Angelina can't last five seconds without cursing.

She probably curses in her sleep.

- [snoring]

f*ck off.

[snores]

d*ck.

- Oh, my God.

- What is the problem?

I curse.

[laughs]

[laughter]

- Pigeon?

- Oh, my God.

- What is wrong with you?

[laughter]

- sh*t.

- Are we seven?

- The story is supposed to f*cking make sense.

- Where are we at in the story?

- The girl f*cked the pigeon, and the cactus

f*cked a vag*na.

- All right, the story is dead.

[upbeat jazzy music]

- All right, so who's ready for jazz?

[all cheering]

- Thank you. - You guys were the best.

- There's, like, a lot of weird people here.

- Well, we're in New Orleans.

What did you guys expect? - Look in that window.

- Wait, what is that? - Oh, look at that.

- Bro, is that a person?

- Is it her eyes, or is it moving?

- That's creepy.

- Deena, is this another m*rder mystery?

- That's Al Capone.

♪ ♪

- Oh, this is cool.

- We'll have fun.

- Why are we the only ones dressed like this?

- We walk into a legit New Orleans jazz bar.

You have people dancing.

I feel like I'm in, like, the 's.

I love it.

♪ ♪

- Look at this guy.

- Here, you want to try?

- All right, let me put this down.

- You know, we don't really know how to dance to jazz,

but we're gonna try our best.

- Just do what they do.

- Hey!

Hey!

They're doing a lot of leg kicks.

♪ ♪

- Chris, I give him credit for getting

up there and dancing like the little paperboy that he is.

Extra, extra, Chris can dance.

- More spinning, more spinning.

[all cheering]

- This is a long song.

My legs hurt.

It's just so long.

My legs are getting tired.

His legs are getting tired.

- It's gonna end soon.

- It has to be over soon, right?

Oh, thank God.

- That was the longest song ever.

- I need water.

- Come on, Vin!

- Nah, I'm retired.

- My man, my buddy over there, his name is Vinny.

He was on "Dancing with the Stars," but he's shy.

So we need somebody to call him up.

You think you could do that?

- OK.

- There is a "Dancing With the Stars" star

in the building, so we need to get him up here dancing.

- I heard we got somebody that's been on

"Dancing with the Stars" in here.

[all cheering]

Vinny, let's get into it, man.

I ain't gonna push you too hard,

but if you ever want to get on the dance floor,

you know what I mean?

[together] Vinny! Vinny! Vinny!

Vinny! Vinny! Vinny!

- All right, all right, let's do it.

Let's do it.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Walking, strutting, man, that time or nothing ♪

♪ Dance away, swing and hop ♪

♪ Make it low and pay it low ♪

[cheers and applause]

- At least he's not jump-roping.

Thank God.

[upbeat music]

- Go, Vinny!

- Are you guys gonna come dance?

- OK.

- Yeah, come on.

♪ ♪

- Now, this is the type of night I

was picturing for jazz night.

Ah!

- This is fun.

- I believe that the Lindy Hop was the original fist pumping.

♪ ♪

- Ready? - Yes.

- Bye, guys. Thank you.

- I'm holding you.

- I'm coming up here.

Ooh! - Good night, guys.

- Good night.

- You have a good night.

- See you guys in the morning.

- Where's our room?

- I passed it.

- Oh, here you are.

- This is my house.

- Why does it smell, like, musty in here?

- b*tch, your room smells like vag*na and vodka.

- Did you have fun?

- I had a great time.

- I have a little surprise, though.

I forgot to tell you.

- What?

- Vin is coming tomorrow.

- Your Vin?

- My Vin.

- [gasps] When?

- I think early.

Why? - [indistinct].

- What? - [snorting]

- What?

What?

What the f*ck?

You're malfunctioning.

- Oh, my God, it's not great timing.

We kinda-- we-- we kind of planned your divorce party,

and now what's his name is coming.

What's his name?

[snorts] Wait, I got this.

Just give me a second.

- f*ck my life.

No wonder why you girls were telling me not to bring him.

- No, maybe he can hang out for a little bit.

- He's gonna come to my divorce party?

Does that seem normal to you?

- Well, I didn't know you were bringing your new man.

- Has anybody ever brought their new man

to a divorce party?

Is it, like, something that's done?

Do you think I'm gonna [...] this whole relationship up

by bringing him around you wackos?

- [laughs]

- Oh, God, just when you thought

sh**ting your f*cking ex-husband in the face

with a cannon was bad--

- Ah!

- --here we are.

All right, I got to go to bed.

I think you need sleep, too.

- I just got here.

I don't need sleep.

- So what are you gonna do right now?

- Find a friend.

- All right, I'm going to bed.

Good night.

Nicole is really drunk right now,

but I think she'll be fine.

- Oh, sh*t.

This is scary.

Whoo!

It's my first night here.

I don't want to go to bed.

Friends?

Who is awake and wants to have drinks?

Hello?

Friends?

I'm looking for a friend!

This is my friend.

Hey, girl.

Would you like a bead?

Show your beads!

I'm just here to have a good time.

So-- why am I holding your hand?

Ew.

I want a nice friend who wants to hang out.

Oh, no, the cops are looking.

Maybe Mama should go to bed.

Good night, New Orleans!

[laughs, snorts]

- ♪ Go dat, go ♪

♪ Go dat, go ♪

- Here we go.

- Hey, babe. Morning.

- Good morning.

- This thing is the death of me.

- I'm gonna call this chooch.

- Yo, what up? - Hey, Vin!

How are you?

- I'm good, just waking up.

- What have you been up to anyway?

Like anything interesting?

- Yeah, I went to the same Italian restaurant

two days in a row.

- [knocking]

- Wait, yo, someone's at the door.

One second. Hold on.

- Hi, boyfriend! It's me!

- What's going on? - What's up, man?

- How you doing?

- Morning.

Guess what day it is.

- What's today? - Family fun day.

- Perfect.

- Today is my day.

Well, it's for everybody, but it's, like, my day.

I'm planning it.

- I think Deena is planning something today.

- Oh, is that right?

- It's gonna be some kind of activity.

- I brought my binder.

- Binder!

- I have so many activities for us to do today.

If any of them mess up family fun day today,

my favorite day of the trip,

Meena is coming out tonight, b*tches.

- There definitely will be a T-shirt involved.

- Mm-hmm.

[upbeat music]

- When was the last time I made my bed?

Vinny is coming.

He's gonna finally meet everybody.

Am I domesticated or what?

f*ck, yeah.

I want to f*cking get myself together.

Sexy bra.

I want to look really pretty.

What the hell was I thinking, bringing this thing?

I'm excited and scared.

Last night, the whole thing with Mike,

I mean, what the f*ck?

I would have loved for him to bring

that up in front of my man.

So let's see how this goes today.

- I'm not a fan of sweeping something under the rug.

My goal was to find common ground and move forward.

Of course, you can be upset.

We all get upset with social media.

It is what it is.

I don't feel like it's over, you know?

I feel like there is part three to this story.

That's how it is with me and Angelina.

It's not over.

I was able to see common ground.

Was she? Maybe not.

- ♪ Because I am my own boss ♪

♪ So I can make my own route ♪

♪ I do what I want, I want what I want ♪

♪ Boss talk ♪

♪ Y'all get with it ♪

♪ Never gonna stop till I reach the top ♪

- Oh, snap.

- Hey, there's Mike "The Situation."

- What's up, man?

- Morning.

- Listen, boys, hot off the presses,

a celebrity was just arrested for throwing water.

- Oh, my goodness.

- You won't let this go, will you?

- I just thought it was relative to--

to my case.

- No matter what Mike does or says,

the old Sitch, he's still in there.

Like, the Sitch is the Sitch.

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

- Hey, Deena. - Morning.

- Morning. - Morning.

- Morning, guys. - Morning, guys.

- Where's Ange?

- I don't know.

- Hopefully she's feeling better today.

Oh, there she is. How are you feeling?

- Oh, hey, girl. - So much better.

- Same. - Yeah, you look nice.

- Oh, good. - Yeah.

- I'm telling you, we might have gotten, like, roofied.

- I think we did.

- Totally got roofied.

- What, Chris?

- You drank all day long. You were hungover.

- Nobody is wasting their drugs on you two.

- I started drinking at :, not all day.

- Ooh!

They're fighting already.

- Listen, I drink wine.

[bell dings]

And like, I never get hungover, and it wasn't like I was

drinking all day yesterday.

- Girls' brunch.

[quirky music]

- But I felt terrible.

[laughs] I felt terrible.

You know what? I actually forgot something.

I'll be right back.

- Oh, my God, Deena's got a surprise.

- There definitely will be a T-shirt involved.

- OK, guys, I'm back.

- Oh, God. - Yay.

- Let's see.

- What is better than FFD

than FFD?

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ It's family fun day ♪

/- Why is she screaming?

- Because I'm excited.

And the theme for FFD is Guidos

take Louisiana, b*tches.

Honestly, I think of good stuff.

Get it? GTL?

- Cute. - Yes.

- Where's the car?

- Usually, they throw sh*t at me.

- I love it.

- Oh, family fun day ..

Yay.

I hate these T-shirts.

How am I gonna get an Instagram picture in this T-shirt?

- So I'm probably not gonna go.

- Oh, you're not coming today?

- My man's here.

- Wait, what? - Right now?

- Ooh.

- Stop it.

- Yes, I'm missing all this.

- Yay.

- What?

A month ago, Angelina was giving me a lap dance,

and now, like, she's, like, a happy couple with this guy.

I can't wait to meet him. - Wait, what?

- Are we gonna meet him tonight?

- I hope so. I think so.

I mean, hopefully that's the plan.

All right, I'm gonna go get ready.

- Ange is just a loose cannon, man.

A couple of months prior, she said she

had feelings for our Vinny.

Like, damn, what world does she live in?

- See you guys later.

- ♪ I'm gonna make you see now ♪

♪ ♪

- Let's go get ready.

- Yeah, let's do this.

- Let's go.

[phone rings]

- Hi. - Hey, I just landed.

I'm on the way.

- I'll meet you in the lobby.

Oh, thank God.

Like, I'm ready for him.

The room looks good.

I cleaned the toilet,

because I threw up in it the night before.

- I'll call you when I'm there.

- Bye. See you soon, babe.

- We are going to a trampoline park.

- ♪ Anybody saying something, saying nothing ♪

- Oh, that's cute.

- ♪ Over here, they not ♪

♪ They not ♪

♪ Man to man, they come and get us ♪

♪ They could try ♪

♪ We so high up in the sky, all they can do is watch ♪

[funky music]

- Oh, the sun feels nice.

Angelina's man comes today.

- Man, oh, man, it's gonna be interesting for sure.

I think she's doing this to make you jealous.

- Everything Angelina does is to make me jealous.

- You just really can't make this sh*t up.

- In North Carolina, she was just giving me lap dances.

Oh!

- Ooh! - [laughs]

I didn't know about this guy.

So I don't want it to be weird with me and him.

You know what I mean?

Angelina for the last, like, six months has been saying,

like, "I'm single," saying she has feelings for me.

- I've liked Vinny for a long time.

I've always liked him like that.

- But she's with this guy.

Like, I know they didn't meet yesterday.

You know what I'm saying?

So, like, the math isn't really mathing.

- Well, I'm not gonna tell him.

- I'm not gonna tell him.

You know who is gonna tell him?

both: Mike.

- Oh, Mike is for sure gonna tell him.

- You guys ready? - Yes.

- Let's go.

- Let's go!

all: Family fun day part two!

- Yeah, buddy. - Whoo-hoo.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I gotta go faster ♪

♪ Maybe we can meet up ♪

♪ Over there, over there, running around, up and down ♪

♪ ABC one two three ♪

♪ Look at me, gotta keep up ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

How you doing? - I'm good.

How are you? - What are you doing?

- Oh, he looks so cute.

I love when he has the backwards hat on.

He's just built so good.

That's my man.

- You look nice.

- Thank you.

- Ooh, it's hot.

- Ah, you're here.

- I know. I know.

Thank you for inviting me.

- I'm so excited.

I've made that to be, like, your side.

- Very nice. Thank you.

- This is something I need at this point in my life.

Like, I didn't feel loved in my last relationship.

- Thank you.

It looks nice.

- I mean, I would, like, literally

wear lingerie walking around the house half naked,

and, like, he wouldn't even look at me.

I was over here two days ago, and I was like,

"Show me your t*ts" to some woman.

I was like-- and she actually did show me her t*ts.

- Get out of here.

- Going into a relationship where the guy likes to, like,

be intimate, tells you how beautiful you are--

Do I gotta show you my t*ts?

- Yeah, let me see.

Hey, nice, nice.

- --I mean, Vin's hands can't get off me.

Like, it's a different world for me, you know?

And it feels good to be loved.

All right, babe, let's go to lunch.

- Yeah, can we eat?

Because I didn't get to eat on the plane.

I got a couple of little peanuts.

[upbeat music]

- We're here. Who's ready?

- Let's do it.

- I hope they got chicken fingers inside.

- Hello.

- Oh, cool.

- This place is huge.

- Everyone take your shoes off. - Here.

Come on, boys.

Let's go on this one.

Whoo!

- This is cool.

- This is like Pauly's basement.

- Ah!

- Whoa!

- What do you want to do, Sage, the trampoline?

- Look at me, man.

- I'm nauseous.

- I don't feel good.

- I'm dizzy.

- I just tinkled.

I got to go to the bathroom.

- Oh, God, I got to pee, nope.

b*tch, I had three kids.

We should have wore pads.

- I have one on, and it didn't help.

- Oh, my God, I literally just peed my underwear.

- See you later!

- Oh, my God.

- Come on, Nicole.

- Stop.

I'm really scared. - Come on!

You got it.

- Come on, Nicole.

- Go, Nicole!

- Ah!

f*ck.

Ahh!

Oh, my God.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- I want to try it.

You want to go to Uncle Pauly?

- You want to go to Uncle Pauly?

- Oh, my God, look at that. - Whoa, whoa.

- Go, Mommy, go. - Go, Deeners.

- Say go, Mommy, go.

Go, Mommy, go.

[laughter]

- My vag*na!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. - I can't...

Her vag*na ate it, and it's f*cking

terrible to be laughing, but I can't help it right now.

It was the best thing I've ever seen in my life.

- My f*cking vag*na!

- Oh, my God, that's the most action Deena

has had all month.

- Breaking your vag*na on a tightrope

might have been worse than childbirth.

- Oh, my God.

- It frickin' hurt.

Chris, I'm out of commission.

- ♪ Because I do what I want ♪

♪ Because I do what I want ♪

- How's the trip been so far?

- Way better than the last one.

- How's everything with Mike?

Did you talk to him?

- Well, last night, he came for me.

But yeah, we're all at the dinner table,

and then he wants to say that our text

exchange was me saying it was OK for him

to go in on me on Twitter.

- Which is completely false, correct?

- Yeah.

I wish he would have did that with you sitting there.

Like, say he brought that up in front of you,

what would you do?

Like, would you have my back on that?

- Of course, I'd have your back.

Everyone's significant other should

always have their other person's

back through everything.

- Yo, give me a hand. - I'll give you a hand.

Here you go. - Thanks.

- Put your hands together for MVP.

There's another Vinny in town.

- We all know positive vibes only, but--

- Old Sitch is back.

- Oh, oh, he's coming out.

- --in your judgment, is it a bit early

to be bringing in the new boo?

You know what I mean?

Like-- - It's a big deal.

- You guys remember in the Carolinas,

she's like, "I have feelings for Vinny"?

I think it's only right that we explain

to new Vinny about the old Vinny baby birdin'

and the old Vinny soft-porn lap dance.

It's only right.

We full disclosures around here.

- What could go wrong?

- Exactly.

- I do feel like some of them overstep their boundaries.

I feel like Chris walked in, and they

didn't respect him off the-- like, they liked him.

They just knew they could, like, kind of

step all over him, you know?

- Now, there's gonna be more beef in the streets.

- Mm-hmm. - No.

- And he's a cop.

- All cops love me.

- I stole her wedding dress.

- Why did you bring her dress?

- We got to burn it, b*tch.

both: We're burning it?

- We're gonna meet another one of Angelina's boyfriends.

- Oh, I hope this was not a big mistake.

I don't want to hear them.

I'm not in the mood tonight.

- How long is this guy gonna last?

- What time is it, :?

It's over already.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- I forgot to tell you, babe, the girls

planned a whole little divorce party for me.

But-- - A divorce party?

- --it's tonight.

- Tonight? - Tonight.

Are you mad?

- No, I mean, hey, maybe it's a good way

to close that chapter, right?

- I had my bachelorette party in New Orleans

a few years ago.

A lot of sh*t went down.

- Ahh!

- [indistinct] grabbing his d*ck in the elevator.

- Reverse cowgirl, b*tches.

- Finally, t*tties.

- This is my kind of ratchelorette.

- f*ck her!

f*ck her! f*ck her!

- This could be good, or this could be really bad.

I don't know which one.

Let's see what these crazy f*cking

lunatics plan out tonight.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I own it uh-uh, I own it ♪

- Oh, my God.

- [laughs]

- Look at me, yeah.

- [screams]

- Ah! - Yeah!

[all shouting]

- Ahh!

- Boys, I'm gonna need your help.

Let's start passing out.

Let's go.

- This is the best day of my life.

- You know what kind of cheese this is?

"Not yo" cheese.

- You weird a*s.

- Damn, you got a ton of food.

- I'm a good host.

- Mike with the food.

He ordered literally a pie for everyone, a chicken

fingers and french fries for everyone,

beignets for everyone.

- Could someone just bring me an insulin shot?

- But like, an amount for a football team.

- Oh, wow.

- That's a good beignet.

- Literally b*mb, and they're hot.

- Oh, look at this little guy.

Oh, my God.

- Yummy.

That's yummy.

- Oh.

- Beignets from Cafe Du Monde is definitely

a staple of New Orleans.

Like, I remember we went there and had sugar all

over us a couple of years ago.

- Oh!

- Yo, my probation officer is not gonna like this.

[laughter]

- I see you looking at me.

- What?

- Don't think of anything stupid.

- Oh!

[all shouting]

- Get him, baby!

- Cam is crying. Cam is crying.

- Really? - Cam is crying.

- Oh, no, Cam is crying. - Cam is crying.

Cam is crying. - Aw.

- Oh, we're dicks.

The baby's crying. - All right.

- Sorry, Cam. - It's OK, buddy.

- It's OK, Cam.

- I think it's time to go home.

- I've been beigneted, man.

Somebody beigneted me.

- Throwing sugar is a felony.

- See you guys at the hotel.

- I'm excited to meet Vinny.

- All the roommates have pros and cons, right?

- OK. - OK.

He's gonna meet the roommates, and it's not

easy to come into this with, like, a whole bunch of people

with different personalities.

I can go through a lot of people's cons and pros--

mostly cons.

We'll start with Nicole.

- Oh, my God.

- She is my drinking partner.

She's always the one that wants to, like,

hang out and, like, have fun with me.

The cons of that, sometimes she becomes somebody named "Dren."

- Ah! Ah!

- Gremlin.

- Oh, my God.

- You don't want to look her in the eye.

You've got to run the other way.

Jenni, she's being nice to me lately.

The con is, how long is it gonna last for?

- Get your f*cking--

[indistinct chatter]

- Let's go to Mike.

As far as I can see, he's a good husband.

But the cons of Mike,

he's got a long-a*s m*therf*cking list.

- What the hell?

I have to send this to the squad.

- [gasps] - That is not Chris.

- Why did you do that to me?

- You're in the messiest divorce

I've ever f*cking seen.

- He gets involved too much in my f*cking business.

Vinny, we both grew up on Staten Island,

and we'll always have that in common, which is cool.

But he's gonna be jealous of you.

He's very immature.

all: Ah!

- Angelina, your p*ssy is so dry, you got to go

like this after you have sex.

- Oh!

- Last night, he's like, no-nut November is over now.

I just jerked off.

It was so weird.

- November's a long month.

- [laughs]

I filled him in on everything,

and now we're going to meet them.

I pray to God that this will be good, I swear.

- Bye.

- Y'all a good evening now. - Thanks, bro.

- Appreciate y'all. - Appreciate you.

Thank you.

- All right, I think you guys should come to my room

so we can figure out what we're doing with the plan--

- OK, sounds good. - --before we get ready.

We really want this party to be amazing.

So I have a huge surprise for Angeliners,

and no one knows about it.

All right, ladies, so tonight's a big night for Ange.

I packed some stuff for the divorce party.

I got her a "finally divorced" sash that she can wear.

- OK, cool.

- And then I got her a black veil.

- Oh, I like that.

- And then this is my favorite part.

I was at her house last week.

We were having wine.

And you know, I stole her wedding dress.

♪ ♪

- Why did you bring her dress?

- We got to burn it, b*tch.

- We're, like, low-key burning her $, dress?

- Oh, my God.

- How f*cking insane is that?

- ♪ Because here comes the troublemaker ♪

- ♪ Power moves, power made, talking that work ♪

♪ Are there jewels in the safe ♪

♪ Pull up to the scene with an axe in my hand ♪

- I was at her house last week.

We we're having wine, and I stole her wedding dress.

- Wait, you took her frickin' wedding dress?

- You took her dress?

- You're a psycho.

- I took her wedding dress.

- Why did you bring her dress?

- We got to burn it, b*tch.

both: We're burning it?

- Where?

- I figured we could go to a cemetery.

- Oh, my God, what?

- At the cemetery, everyone said

Angelina's marriage is dead.

So it kind of just makes sense to burn the dress there.

When you get divorced, you want to, like,

get rid of all the bad juju.

So you have to burn the dress.

This is like "Buffy the Vampire" sh*t.

- Yes. - "The Originals."

- Yep.

And then this is my favorite part.

I got cloaks--

- You got f*cking cloaks?

- --that we can all wear while she's burning the dress.

- Oh, gosh. - Stop.

- We're gonna look like witches.

This is, like, everything I hate.

- I'm nervous.

- I can't believe we're frickin' doing this.

- A new Angelina.

- Is she gonna be OK with this?

- Angelina is known for being a wild card.

So I am petrified as to how she's gonna

take this wedding dress thing.

- Oh, my God, what if it turns out to be like the speech

again? Oh, my God.

- Oh, I will literally k*ll myself.

- ♪ Watch you go, shake it like a luau ♪

♪ Full on, all out ♪

♪ Shine so hard like a sunset ♪

♪ Too hot, too hot, too hot, too hot ♪

♪ Oh, we stay on top ♪

♪ We stay on top ♪

♪ We stay on top ♪

♪ Yeah, too hot, too hot, too bad you not ♪

- Oh, what's up, you big chooch?

- What up? You ready to roll out?

- Yes, sir.

- Is the guy here?

- He's on his way or something.

- Mm.

- He, like, lives with her now, huh?

She moves quick.

- Angelina moves so f*cking fast.

Like, I think Chris still lives in the house,

and so does Vinny.

- Damn, that means we have to plan another wedding?

- And another divorce.

- Another speech.

♪ ♪

- Ange!

- Angeliners.

- Oh, my God, you look so hot.

- So we got these for you.

- This is cool.

- A black veil, b*tch.

- You guys want to put it on me?

- Oh, my God, it's beautiful.

- And the sash. - Love it.

- I like this. - All right, cool.

- Divorce party!

- Whoo, you look hot, too.

- Yes.

- Is Vinny gonna be cool with, like,

us celebrating your divorce?

- Is he gonna get mad?

- We're asking you.

- No, because--

- I don't know what you guys have in store.

- It's not bad.

- It's fine.

- Do you want to wear this?

- I still can't picture how this

is gonna play out tonight.

We're gonna go to a cemetery,

wear these cloaks while lighting

her stolen $, dress on fire.

And Angelina is supposed to be just OK with all of this.

- Now, get ready for your divorce party!

- Can we all wear black?

- Love you.

- Today is a big day.

We're gonna meet another one of Angelina's boyfriends.

- Finally, another Vinny can take Angelina off my back.

- Vinny claims he's not jealous,

but he looks pretty jellyfish to me.

- What's up, fam? - What's up, bruh?

MVP in the building.

- So did you meet Angelina's Vinny?

- No. - No.

- Is that what we're gonna call him?

- He's getting a nickname, not me, OK?

- All right.

- I don't know how good this is gonna turn out.

It's pretty crazy knowing that just a little while ago,

Angelina was in North Carolina saying she

had feelings for our Vinny--

- What do I do to make him not think, like, I'm a joke?

- Um.

--while her Vinny was at home cleaning up cat poop.

How serious can it be?

How long is this guy gonna last?

- What time is it, :?

It's over already.

- [laughs]

- Are you good?

I have so many emotions, like,

running through me right now.

I'm excited for Vinny to meet everybody,

but what are the boys gonna act like?

Are they gonna be nice to him?

- I wonder if this guy is a chooch or if he's cool.

- Every Vinny I know is a chooch.

- What is Mike gonna act like?

- I'll be honest.

Who brings somebody in early on like this?

- Is he gonna expose me in some f*cking way?

- When is Mike gonna tell him that she was just giving you

a lap dance, like, last week?

- Probably like hi, how are you doing?

- Nice to meet you. Pauly D.

- Yeah, yeah, Angelina was giving this Vinny a lap dance,

you know? - I like that.

[laughter] - What is it?

- I don't want to hear them.

I'm not in the mood tonight.

Like, anybody talks sh*t about my Vinny,

there's gonna be a f*cking problem.

So everybody better be nice.

- Remember when Ronnie bought his boo?

- Yep.

- And you're like, all right, Ronnie,

you want to f*ck with me, guy?

Pass me the french fries.

[laughter]

- Oh, I hope this was not a big mistake.

Ready?

- I'll be honest.

If Angelina tries to come at me, I'm just gonna be like,

do you want to play ball?

OK.

- You got everything?

- For the most part, the vibes out here is good.

- [laughs]

- This is Vinny. - Hey, guys.

- The poor kid. He's just meeting everybody

for the first time.

all: Divorce party!

- This could be really bad.

- Welcome to hell!

[together] Burn that dress!

- Don't be mad.

- You're a [...] a*s b*tch.

- Oh, shut up. - f*ck-face.

I ain't afraid of you, JWOWW.

- [...] that b*tch.

- b*tch, you got to stop. - f*ck.

- That girl's possessed. - Boo!