02x22 - A New Beau and Someone Else's Mom's House

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Georgie &
Mandy's First Marriage...

Little busy here, Georgie.
What's up?

You know damn well what's up.

Oh, you mean First Baptist.
Yeah.

It does feel good
to do good, don't it?

You're just trying to drive me
out of business.

Which also feels good.

Man, I hate that guy.

My family has been through
too much these past few years

to put up with
you rubbing salt in the wound.

- Now, I never intended...
- And God is watching you.

He may be forgiving,

but when it comes to my family,

I sure as heck am not.

Yes, ma'am.

There may be a decent man

underneath all that scruff.

I can shave!

Hey, Mom.

Oh, darn, you just missed
Bible study.

Whew, close one.

Well, I'm not gonna hassle you,

but only because you're dropping
off my granddaughter.

Huh. Gettin' me outta stuff.

I wish I had you in high school.

You did.

Here's the rest of the dishes.

Hi, Georgie.

What are you doin' here?

Oh, your mom invited me
to Bible study.

And who is
this little cutie, huh?

This is CeeCee. Can you
say hi to Mr. Fagenbacher?

And then say bye
to Mr. Fagenbacher,

'cause he's leaving.

Don't be rude.

It's okay, I'm going.

Okay. Well, I hope to see you

at church on Sunday?

I'll be there.

What the hell, Mom?

Language.

I cleaned it up.

It's not the "what the"
I wanted to say.

It was Bible study.

God does not turn anyone away.

God don't, but you can.

I know that, in the past,
Fred has been a real...

monkey butt,

but he has been coming to church

and I think he wants to change.

People don't change.

Once a monkey butt,
always a monkey butt.

Really?
Because you were a wild teenager

and now
you are a responsible father.

Don't use me against me.

Fred is finding God,
and that is a good thing.

God is everywhere,

he can find Him
at someone else's mom's house.

Have you heard from Connor?

- No.
- Huh.

Thought he would've checked in.

I thought so, too.

Sleeping in
a van full of girls...

can't imagine why
he hasn't called his mother.

Fill your mouth with food.

Hey. How's your mom?

You wouldn't believe it.

What's going on?

Fagenbacher was at her house

for Bible study.

You're kidding.

Bible study? Who's buying that?

He's just doin' this
to piss me off.

Clearly. Why else would he
spend time with that woman?

Hey, that's my mom!

Come on, Audrey, she's a single,
attractive lady.

Hey, that's my mom!

Who doesn't drink, dance
or have fun of any kind.

Hey, that's...

Actually, good point, thank you.

Please come to bed.

I'm upset.

I do push-ups when I'm upset.

Do you want to talk about it?

I can talk and do push-ups.

All right.

Goin' after my mom to get to me,

that's low.

And she was just buyin'
everything he was sellin'.

Okay, yep, maybe we just talk.

You should've seen him...

helping with the dishes,

saying how cute CeeCee is...

Jerk.

You don't think your mom would
actually date him, do you?

Of course not.

She's too smart for that.

Well, then,
what are you worried about?

That she ain't that smart
and she's gonna date him!

Come on, he can't keep up
this nice guy act for long.

You're right.

Although,
I did pretend to be nice

for a whole year
to win homecoming queen.

- You're kiddin'.
- You don't get the tiara

without getting
your hands dirty.

What?

Just thinking
about Mary and Fred.

So ridiculous.

Yeah.

I mean, can you imagine?

Why would I imagine it?

Exactly.

It's impossible to imagine.

Mary is not his type.

What's his type, you?

Of course not.
That was high school.

Then why are
we still talking about it?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't talk about Connor,
I can't talk about Fred.

Is there anything else I can't
bring up in front of you?

Now that you mention it,
I don't love you talking about

all them fun things
you're gonna do after I die.

I don't do that.

See plays on Broadway.

Go to Paris.

Get a Pomeranian.

We could do
all those things right now.

Over my dead body.

Bingo.

Hey, can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Does your grandma ever...
go on dates with guys?

She's a grandma.
Grandmas don't date.

What's wrong with you?

My meemaw's a grandma.

You do not want to walk
in her bedroom without knocking.

Be right with ya!

Take your time.

- What's he doing here?
- Don't care. I don't want to talk to him.

Somebody's gotta talk to him.

Fine, you do it.

Y'all need to work
on your whispering.

What do you want?

I'm just here to clear the air.

Stay away from my mom.
There, the air is cleared.

I have nothing but respect
for your mother.

Oh, give it a rest.

You're just trying to get to me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can you catch me up here?

This guy's been sniffing
around my mom.

I'm caught up. Continue.

Georgie, me going to church
has nothing to do with you.

I'm supposed to believe that?

I guess maybe I wouldn't
if I was in your shoes,

but I'm trying
to be a better man and

Bible study's helping.

Oh, please,
I've been to Bible study.

Other than the cookies,
it's the worst.

Well, maybe you should
give it another shot.

I'm sure Mary would
love to have you.

Don't call her "Mary."

It's "Mrs. Cooper."

And hang around all you want,

she's never gonna fall for you.

Well, no offense, son, but...

that's up to Mrs. Cooper.

You let him have the last word.

I'm not happy about it, either!

Come in.

Hey.

CeeCee ready to go?

Missy took her to the park.

Aw. That's sweet.

I was hoping that
spending the day with a toddler

might be a good form
of birth control.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Oh, no. I got it.

So...

What's new?

And by that I mean,
what the hell's going on

with you and Fagenbacher?

There is no me and Fagenbacher.

Georgie is being ridiculous.

I know. I told him

you'd never be interested
in a guy like that.

Well, as a Christian,

I am interested
in helping anyone

who is looking for God's love.

Are you sure it's God's love
he's looking for?

Mandy...

Are you into bad boys?

Is that what's going on here?

No.

You know, my mom and him
used to be involved.

He told me.

And by "involved," I...

do mean sex stuff.

I know what it means!

Well, you say things
like "monkey butt."

I wasn't sure.

I can take care of myself.

Of course. I just...

I think Fred might be using you.

Why? Because I am some poor,
gullible church lady

who's too naive to know
when she's being fooled?

Well, I wasn't gonna
put it that way,

but since you did,
let's go with it.

I am a grown woman.

I have raised three children

and I have buried my husband.

I know a lot more

- about life than you do.
- You're right.

And who I choose
to spend my time with

is nobody's business but my own.

I know.
It's just that Georgie and I...

And I am sorry, did
either of you ask how I felt

when you two got involved?

And by "involved,"
I mean sex stuff.

What are you doing?

Making sure the phone's working.

He's fine, Audrey.

Then why hasn't he called?

When prisoners break out,
they don't call the warden.

Son of a b*tch, dammit!

Hey, y'all.

What was that about?

Sorry. Was just trying
to get my feelings out

so I don't bring y'all down.

Thank you,

'cause we are having
a great time.

What's going on?

Fagenbacher came by the store.

To gloat?

No, to tell me how much
he respects my mom.

Ugh.

Please stop being on my side.

I wish there was some way
I could prove to her

what a dirtbag he is.

Well, what are you gonna do,
follow him around

and wait till he does
something sleazy?

Well, he's a regular at Nate's.

Always there
slobbering over some girl.

Well, great.

We-We'll catch him in the act.

He knows you. He's not gonna do
anything if you're there.

Right.

We need someone he doesn't know.

Tonight?

You're paying for
my drinks, right?

Dale, I'm going out!

Now, just keep an eye on him.

When he starts
hitting on somebody,

page me from the pay phone.

What if he doesn't?

Oh, he will.
He hits on everyone.

I mean, you're safe,
'cause you're old.

Not too old to kick your a*s.

I'd pay to see that.

So...

Drink money.

Here you go.

Ten dollars? What am I,
the designated driver?

Fine.

I drink top shelf.

And I'm a good tipper.

Never should've called her old.

Oh. Hello.

Mandy left CeeCee's bag.

Thank you.

Would you like to come in?

- My son here?
- No.

- CeeCee up?
- No.

I'm okay.

I know everyone's been giving
you a hard time about Freddy,

but I think
it's none of their business.

Thank you.

Although, I am surprised...

him being so wild and fun.

You saying I'm not fun?

No.

You're just...

Bible fun.

And he's... you know...

fun fun.

Well, I know this is tough

because you and Fred dated
in high school,

and I'm sorry he dumped you,

but that was a long time ago.

He told you he dumped me?

It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go.

'Cause I dumped him.

For Jim.

So I win.

Well, then it looks like
it worked out for everyone.

Especially for me.

'Cause I dumped him!

What is taking so long?
I gotta pee.

Here.

Seriously?

Well, it's okay, I finished it.

I'm going inside.

You'll blow our cover.
Just go behind a tree.

I am not going behind a tree.

Why not?
I pee all kinds of places.

I'm aware.

Dang it, now I gotta pee.

You gotta see this.

- See what?
- Just come with me.

What am I supposed to see?

That.

What the heck?

Yeah. Crazy. Gotta pee.

What are you doin'?

I'm watching him.

Sending your grandma
to spy on me?

I respect that.

You knew who she was?

I told him.

Why would you do that?

I figured if somebody wanted
to date my daughter,

I ought to find out

what's wrong with him.

I've got a couple ex-wives
that would love to tell you.

Hey, free bit of advice here:

don't ever hire
a hot receptionist.

It's okay.

I'm not looking for a job.

Stop liking him!

Come on, he might be
good for your mom.

Help get that stick
outta her "patootie."

I think it's cute
how she don't cuss.

Yeah? Well, you're wrong.

Hey.

What'd I miss?

- Meemaw likes him.
- Oh.

Well, why don't you two date?

Problem solved.

What do you think?

- Well, I got a boyfriend.
- Mm.

But he's of an age,
so keep in touch.

Drinkin' alone, my kinda gal.

I just want you to know,

you are twice the man
Fred Fagenbacher is.

What are we talking,
like in my pants?

I mean in every way.

Oh.

Well, thank you.

Seriously,
smartest thing I ever did

was dump him for you.

I agree.

And I did dump him.

This Mary thing really bugs you,
doesn't it?

They are so different.

It's like a dog dating a...

a very religious duck.

And what if it works out?

Thanksgiving with him,

Christmas with hi...

Easter with him helping CeeCee
look for eggs.

I help CeeCee look for eggs.

And you are very good at it.

Oh, thank God.

Connor?

No, I will not take your survey.

Of course I'm a Republican!

I met your new beau
the other night.

Nice-looking fella.

He is not my beau,
we're just friends.

A beau is just
a friend you want to boink.

Mom...

Boink is as G-rated
as I can make it.

Well, that is not happening.

Why not? I like him.

There is one reason right there.

Well, he likes you.

He hasn't even asked me out.

Well, if he did, would you go?

I don't know, it's...

complicated.

Oh, honey, listen to me.

This is your life,

and you've got to do
what makes you happy.

Even if it makes
everyone else miserable?

Everybody else can just
go boink themselves.

Glad you came back.

This, uh, this book's
a real page-turner.

I gotta see how it ends.

So, I heard you met my mother.

Yeah. She's a piece of work.

She's a piece of something.

I think
she was flirtin' with me.

Oh, she was.

Hey, y'all.

What are you two doin' here?

Well, it's Bible study.

I thought everyone was welcome.

- Georgie...
- Told you she wouldn't buy it.

Fine. I'm here to keep
an eye on this clown.

This is not the place.

It's okay, Mary.

He's just being protective.
He's a good son.

Oh, drop it,
I ain't that good a son.

Yeah.
He did forget her birthday.

Thank you.

If I'm causing problems,
I can leave.

Yeah, take you a cookie and git.

No, you are here for
the right reasons. They can go.

The right reasons?

You're just using God
to get at my mother.

Look, I never thought
I'd be at a Bible study...

not sober, anyhow...

but, uh, your mother saw
something good in me

that I couldn't see in myself.

Oh, well,
that doesn't mean anything.

She sees the good in everybody.

Except your mom.

Trying to make a point.

If I'm being honest, yes,

I am interested in Mary.

Told you.

But I'm more interested

in trying to be a better person.

See? He is on a righteous path.

How are you so gullible?

Okay, that is enough.

You two need to leave.

Fine.

But you better not
make a move on her.

Don't worry,
I'll be on my best behavior.

To heck with that.

Fred, would you like
to have dinner with me?

Whoa.

No, he wouldn't.

I would love to.

You two start dating, CeeCee's
never coming over here again.

Okay. Georgie, hang on.

I'm serious. That's the kind of
decision she's making,

I don't trust her
with our daughter.

You are using CeeCee
to control me?

You're picking him
over your own family.

Okay. There is the door,
you know how to use it.

Okay, I think this just got
a little out of hand...

I ain't fooling around.
I mean it.

So do I. Go!

Come on.

Okay.

Everybody, please gather around

and open our Bibles
to Proverbs 10:1!

Hello?

It's me. Made it to Lubbock.

Oh, thank God.

Honey, I know I wasn't
thrilled with this trip,

but I am really proud of you.

I'm glad you're out there
living your life.

I sure am.

So, how's it going?

Tell me everything.

Oh, where to begin?