05x22 - It's Fine, I Work Here.

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV

- To San Diego and a great time.

Stay away from the drama. Thank you.

- Do you remember how Mike wanted

to bring you on his podcast?

- Oh, my God!

- Wait, I totally forgot about that.

- Mike wanted me to interview side piece on his podcast.

Totally forgot about that.

- I'm going through my own [bleep] bro.

- But guess what? - Going through your divorce,

I gave you respect! You didn't give me--

- Shut the [bleep] up about my divorce.

- No! It's the truth!

- But I'm just saying, you're messy!

- It's not messy!

- I'm [bleep] not done!

Stop [bleep] interrupting me!

- Can we just get to the frickin' pool party?

That's all I want.

- Stop [bleep] interrupting!

- Stop [bleep] yelling at me!

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

♪

[upbeat music]

[cheers]

♪

- I haven't even spoken! - I'm not [bleep] done!

- No. Don't do that. - I'm not done!

- Don't [bleep]-- - Stop [bleep] interrupting me!

- Why are you yelling right now?

- I'm [bleep] sick of it!

Stop [bleep] interrupting!

- Stop [bleep] yelling at me! Stop.

- How long do we have to stay here

and go back and forth talking about all this [bleep]?

I mean, everything's just coming to a head.

Angelina leaking the speech...

- All you have to-- - I'm a [bleep] liar?

- Is say, I [bleep] sold the speech.

Who gives a [bleep]?

- This whole podcast drama...

- You were gonna have a podcast with Chris and Old Bridge?

Jenni, please.

- So I forgot about it

until Deena brought it up.

[dramatic music]

- And now Angelina's like,

I'm the only one that talks about my life.

- None of you talk about your real [bleep] lives.

- Oh. - How about that?

OK? - Tell us how you really feel.

- This is a blast.

There's a frickin' pool party.

There's a DJ. Everyone's dancing, drinking.

But we are living in hell right now.

- Like I was trying to say, when I'm going through [bleep]

in my [bleep] life, these are the mother[bleep] I turn to.

Morning, noon-- I'm not [bleep] done.

- Jenni-- - Morning, noon,

and [bleep] night!

- This is literally

a hostage situation.

We're missing the pool party.

- You never tell us what you're going through.

- You should have called me then!

- I'm [bleep] not done!

- You should've called. - I'm not done!

- Jenni, all right. - Just let her talk.

- Stop. - Holy [bleep]!

I speak to his uncle more than I [bleep] speak

to any of my [bleep] family members.

His uncle texts me every [bleep] week.

- Someone's got to talk to Uncle Nino.

Thanks, Jenni.

Ha, ha, sucker.

- Whatever. I'm going through a lot of [bleep].

- Have you heard from the girls?

- No.

- Stop calling me [bleep] names

and prying in my life.

If I want to tell you something,

I will come forward and tell you.

- They're probably going over, like,

the plan for the vacation.

It could be that, or--

- So don't get mad at us when we're talking

to each other every [bleep] day!

- Let's get the women on the phone.

- Yeah. - Let's do that.

- All right. You let me know if you talk to Jenni.

I'll let you know if I talk to Deena.

- OK.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Every single day when the sun comes up ♪

♪ No exceptions, gotta show love ♪

♪ Forever we young, and we never growing up ♪

♪ Look so good, and we on the hunt ♪

- Oh, my God, babe, no one's picking up the phone.

I don't know what's going on over there.

Nikki and I are gonna be a little bit late

for the San Diego family vacation

because it's Nikki's th birthday.

But I'm trying to figure out

what exactly is going on over there.

Not answering the phone is one thing.

But the group chat is silent. - I know.

- If they're at the pool party,

I'd see pictures of it in group chat.

I set up a nice little pool party for them,

and my roommates are radio silent.

It's weird.

Bro, they might not even have

made it to the pool party.

Or they're so lit at the pool party,

they don't have their phones.

Let's say a prayer.

Dear God, please hope they're having a good time.

Thank you so much. - Amen.

- So I wasn't sharing everything?

- I didn't say you personally. - That's every single--

- You literally just said that. - That's every [bleep] thing.

- It's fine. Listen--

- It's not fine. - No, that hurts.

That hurts. Do you think I wanted

to share when I had a miscarriage?

- No, Mike.

- We got pregnant. - And then

it was six and a half, seven weeks,

and I miscarried.

[somber music]

- Sorry to hear that. - Sorry to hear that.

- I had the court where Jenni and Vinny were in court,

and everybody cried when I left.

♪

- It's not fair. - This is crazy.

That's our brother. - I just can't imagine

what they're going through.

- I got sent to prison.

- He got eight months. Mike got eight months.

- Oh, my God.

- When I got picked up from prison...

I definitely feel like Rocky right now.

Like, I shared every single thing of my life.

And we all have.

- I'm definitely not feeling

like myself right now.

The anxiety has overcome,

you know, my entire being here.

[cheers]

- [choked up] The baby's here.

- Welcome to the big girl club, babe.

- My divorce, it was a sore subject.

When those videos came out, I feel like it was

this really, really low blow by Roger.

Hi, baby.

We are parents to the cutest little boy.

And he's perfect.

- But we also sometimes just

genuinely have nothing going on.

And we should not be at fault for that,

because you're going through it now and you're getting dragged

through the mud, or whatever you feel.

- But I gotta tell you, even before the divorce,

I was taking it.

- But you don't have to.

- You don't have to. - I do it--but listen,

I do it because I don't know any other way how.

I have to be [bleep] honest and real.

And people don't like me for it, but I don't care.

I'm gonna be honest. I don't give a [bleep].

- That's just how you are. - We appreciate that though.

- But then the problem with you guys is that,

as honest as I am with you guys,

you guys still don't see me being honest.

And you guys don't give me the credit or the appreciation.

- Well, technically-- - You guys all think I lie,

leak stories. - We do appreciate

your transparency.

But I believe that you have lied to us.

You said Old Bridge was just a friend.

- Oh, my God. - And a year later...

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - He was a lover.

That's facts. - So thank you, sorry.

- Oh, my God, we're gonna be here for another two hours.

- You just said that you don't lie,

so I just pointed it out really quickly.

That's not an honest person.

You've been lying and being untruthful for a year.

You got caught. You had multiple side pieces.

And then, like, the squad was fighting

over how to handle this.

And that's what you see here.

- I just don't feel appreciated.

Like, look, I'm not in a group chat.

- I can't imagine what you're going through right now.

And I think that a lot of the explosions

that happened right now are, like, fueled by you not being

in the best head space and what's happening at home.

- Yeah, I agree with that. - And that's OK.

You made a decision. You're getting divorced.

Now let's have a good time.

- Yeah, I agree.

- If you're getting divorced,

leave that in the past.

- But I also want everybody

to stop talking to him, please.

- After that call, he never took anything.

- I never talked to him again.

And also, about, like, the whole podcast [bleep]...

- You were gonna have a podcast

with Chris and Old Bridge,

and you wanted Jenni to be the host?

- We ended up not doing it.

I'll be honest with you, I'm like,

oh, [bleep], like, who brought up the podcast?

But somebody did.

You know what I mean? It is what it is.

- I regret even bringing up the podcast thing...

Do you remember he wanted to bring you on his podcast?

- [gasps] - Oh, my God!

- Wait, I totally forgot about that.

- Because Jenni just, like, threw me into the mix.

- So I forgot about it until Deena brought it up.

- And now Mike's mad at me.

It's just a mess. [laughs]

- You know what I'm saying?

And I'm being transparent about it.

- Mike, did you do it though? Just say it.

- I brought it up as an idea. Yeah.

Yeah. - Oh, my God.

We're so [bleep] up.

Can we put this positive now?

I want to have fun on this trip.

I really want to have fun.

Please, no more drama. I can't anymore.

- Can we, like, go somewhere and get some food...

- Please, I would love that. - And get into another

environment, because my, like,

energy force is actually hurting from that conversation.

- Let's kumbaya!

- I don't think we've yelled like that in years.

You've got to be [bleep] kidding me!

- Why don't you [bleep]-- - Are you [bleep] delusional?

- Wait-- - Your life was

a [bleep] dumpster fire!

- [sighs]

- I mean, it's really good to get everything out.

Everyone needed to vent.

But I think there's a little "shrapmetal" leftover

from the b*mb that just happened from that big fight.

For example, I don't know why Deener brought up the podcast.

I just thought that that didn't need to be said.

So right now, I kind of think things are OK.

But there's a possibility that they are not.

- OK. Can we kumbaya,

and let's go downstairs to the pool party?

- Let's go.

- I don't need people saying

side [bleep] on the side.

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- Oh, damn. - Let's let it go

unless other people want it to be something.

[upbeat music]

[cheers]

It would not be a night at the club

if a meatball didn't fall.

Your phone is on the floor. - Oh, here it is.

- Why'd it get on the floor? You're gonna--

[loud thud] - [gasps]

- Ooh! - Nicole!

- Oh, my God! - Nicole!

- We need a medic in confessional.

- Are you all right?

- You OK?

- ♪ I'm in my bag

♪ Anything I want, I have

♪ All because I got that swag ♪

♪ I got that swag, hey

- I need some TLC from that.

- It was just a lot.

- Well, thank God that's over.

We knew it was gonna come, it was gonna happen.

But holy [bleep].

For a [bleep] full day?

- Did I yell that loud?

- You yelled like I was Meilani.

- Ah. - So I got scared.

If this happens again,

I'm jumping off the balcony.

Thank you.

All I know is that was a [bleep] lot.

I just fear, like,

maybe the tension isn't completely squashed.

Holy [bleep].

There's, like, bad energy, and negative energy.

Oh, God.

- What a mess. - I've never screamed

that loud in my life.

- Owning my [bleep] right? - You [bleep]...

- I've been owning my [bleep]! - A crazy b*tch!

You got a crazy b*tch pregnant!

Why the [bleep] are you here?

You're here because you're a [bleep] chew toy.

Why me? Why me?

You want to talk about [bleep] "why me?"

And I never, ever, ever,

want you to see that side of me.

- What a mess. - I have to get dressed though,

because I'm sweating, and I have swamp a*s.

[phone ringing]

- Yo.

- Yo, what up?

- Hey, what's going on?

I was waiting to hear from you.

- Bro, massive, massive drama.

- What do you mean? With who?

- Just like a huge screaming match between Jenni

and Angelina and the meatballs and Mike.

- Oh, my goodness. - It's just been like--

- So y'all wasted no time.

Y'all just got right into it. [laughs]

I was having FOMO for not being there.

Vinny took this away in seconds.

Now I'm hearing all this drama,

I'm glad I'm not there. Jeesh!

- OK, so how did it end?

- That all of us just are [bleep] up.

And we all just need to, like, get over it,

and just move on and have a good time.

- How'd you guys leave off? Was it like--

what am I walking into, I guess?

- It was like a half-assed

kind of apology thing. - OK.

I expected there to be a little bit of drama,

but not like this.

You can't be happy on a vacation,

where can you be happy?

- Now we are off to better things.

Now you're part of the fun stuff.

- For now. For now.

- Today was a doozy--already.

- That [bleep] me up so bad.

I can't--like, literally.

- I always feel like the really cool people are

gonna show up, like, later.

- Let's do down to the frickin' music.

They're still playing.

Thank the [bleep] Lord.

Will you have a drink? - No.

- Oh, my God, you're such a loser.

- OK.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Oh, there's asses out and everything.

- Oh, damn!

♪

- Stop the presses. It's happening.

We're all going to the pool party.

There's nothing like showing up

when the main DJ is gone and it's cold.

But, like, better late than never.

I probably should have came here a couple of hours ago.

By myself.

[cheers]

- Those b*tches are drunk. - Snooki!

- Wow, these people are wasted already.

- Yes, queen.

This is gonna make my mood so much better.

I'm excited to get my drink on.

This is gonna be my best day.

- Let's party! Yeah! - Whoo!

- Hi.

- Hi!

- Do you have Pinot Grigio? - I do.

- Now I finally get to go to this frickin' pool party,

and it is amazing.

Everyone's drinking, dancing.

I'm like, this is my kind of party.

All right, well let's--

I was gonna say let's cheers, but Angelina's not here yet.

- Yeah, yeah. - We should probably wait

to do that with her. - We should probably wait.

- ♪ When I step up and I'm pumping now ♪

♪ Can't nobody stop it now

♪ All the girls be muggin', jealous ♪

♪ 'Cause they'll never do it, hell ♪

- Pray for me, please,

'cause I'm gonna need it.

- Hell of a first day, guys. - There she is.

Angelina's here. - There she is!

- I should have gotten changed. - I'm didn't change.

- We have four here if you want to sit next to Vinny.

- No. - No, no, no. I'm good.

- [laughing] She said nah.

- Do you want some wine?

- Yeah, put it here.

- To a positive San Diego.

- We're the only place in San Diego

at a pool party drinking wine.

- Well, I'm drinking wine. - Well, cheers to that.

- Cheers to a good time! - We're classy now.

- Cheers to a good time! all: Cheers!

- Yeah! Cheers!

- To podcasts!

[dramatic music]

- I knew this was gonna happen.

Ugh. I'm not here for, like,

a dramatic vacation.

Like, I just want to have a good time.

- The [bleep] party is over.

- Oh, my God. - The sun's down.

- We missed the party.

- Womp, womp.

- You b*tches been arguing all [bleep] day.

- The [bleep] pool party's over.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Tell me what you see

♪ When you look at me now, yeah ♪

- We missed the party.

We finally get to the pool party,

literally what I wanted to go do all day,

and then two seconds later, pool party's done.

This can't be real life.

- The pool is over, right? It's done?

- [bleep] - Oh, my God!

- The sun's down.

- It's [bleep] over.

- I think this place closes in about a couple of minutes.

- Well, you know what I want to do tonight?

Bang Bang. - But good news is

I made reservations, told Vinny before.

- Bang Bang. - There you go, Vinny.

Bang Bang. - Yeah,

that's what me and those girls are gonna do.

Bang Bang.

- Let's go get ready.

- Let's go get ready for dinner.

- Whoo! - Sounds like a plan.

Only way, girl!

- I apologize for screaming.

Based on everyone's looks after I screamed...

I'm not [bleep] done!

- No. Don't do that. - I'm not done!

- Stop [bleep] interrupting me!

It was a little intense.

So I think an apology is necessary.

My inner [bleep] came out.

If you can accept that, then that's OK.

- Wow.

Like, finally.

Like, finally, Jenni's saying sorry to me.

Like, that's what I needed to hear.

Me and you are [bleep] crazy.

But in a good way. I'm just saying.

- OK. - We are--

we're another [bleep]-- we're another species.

- It's water under the Old Bridge.

- Hold it together for an hour and a half.

- Oh, thanks, man.

- Not the coolest at all.

Maybe if you drank with us.

- What are we doing? - We can get changed

for Bang Bang dinner.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, what a day.

Well, I'm glad everyone's having a good time.

- Honestly, it didn't seem as bad as you made it out to be.

- You've never seen me at that level.

And I never want you to

because I also don't wanna ever be that person.

- Yeah, babe, I don't know.

I've seen you angry.

- That whole conversation was a mind [bleep].

I was mad that Deena brought up the whole podcast thing,

'cause at the end of the day, did I actually do it?

No.

- I don't have it in me to fight with people.

I just feel, like, overwhelmed with, like,

that big fight with the roommates.

So I'm just hoping Mike will get past this podcast thing

and we can move on from this.

Like, we're family. We fight, we make up, then we move on.

- You know, I'm just glad that you handled it well in there,

'cause it was an ambush. - Yeah.

- I don't like anyone trying to make you look

like you're a bad guy.

- There is no innocent party in that whole room.

Bringing up the podcast was a low blow,

'cause you don't see me going in group chat

pointing out what anybody else is doing.

I can't say I'm not a little disappointed.

But it's not something I can't move past.

I'm not saying that it's gonna be smooth sailing from here.

But I do think that we're in a better place.

- Listen, old Sitch is in there somewhere.

- [laughing] Old Sitch is in there.

- ♪ I don't really care about ♪

♪ What anyone is thinking

♪ I'm the captain of my ship

♪ While they're just out here sinking ♪

- For Nikki's birthday, I want it to be over-the-top.

I want every balloon I can get.

I want every flower I can find.

- How can I help you? - So I have

a very special birthday that I'm planning.

And I got to find her a special cake.

Um, I need to order a birthday cake.

It's her th birthday, so I was thinking,

like, bouquets.

It is a th birthday for my girlfriend, Nikki.

I have, like, a banner that's gonna say

"Happy Birthday Nikki," "Happy th Birthday,"

so I was thinking, put all the roses

all around it, and bouquets.

What should we do for a flavor? Should I make it--

- Well, we could go with vanilla,

and then just do, like, strawberry on the inside.

- Yeah. And over-the-top.

Make sure you write that, "over-the-top."

Like, I mean, over-the-top.

You've got a lot to live up to with this cake.

Don't let us down. - OK.

I promise. I promise.

- We will over-the-top it. - Awesome.

I'm excited too. I love birthdays.

- I do too.

- Perfect. Thank you so much.

- ♪ Here I go, when I step in the room ♪

♪ Everybody knows I'm the boss ♪

♪ How I glow, light up the world ♪

♪ 'Cause I drip with so much sauce ♪

♪

- I come bearing gifts.

- Oh, my God. Thank God.

Come on in.

Thanks for bringing wine.

- I wanted to make sure you're good.

- I'm fine. - Are you sure?

- I just didn't like that comment that you said about,

"I'm the only one sharing [bleep]."

Like, girl.

- I... - Like, I get

what you're saying. - Wasn't gearing it, you know,

towards you specifically.

- I know, but we all took it very offensively.

- I know.

I didn't mean it to come off malicious.

- It's fine.

I feel like Angelina just needs to know

with all of us that it's OK to open up.

Tell us all your dirty laundry,

'cause that's what we do for each other.

So girl, if [bleep] goes down,

and you need somebody to talk to,

it's all of us.

I would love to hear your h* stories.

I would live for that.

- The h* stories?

- You're single now.

- So like, you're kind of, like,

living vicariously?

- Living vicariously through you.

- Through me. - I just feel like

all of us want to have a relationship with you

that we have with each other.

- I know she always says I'm her drinking partner,

and I'm her meatloaf or whatever, but, like,

this was actually really sweet that she said that.

Cheers to what?

- Starting over. - Cheers.

- And being a h*. - And us--wait.

And us being good.

- Yeah. - Squashing our beef.

Nicole's being a very good friend to me right now.

And I'm like, wow. Like, that's nice.

Cheers to a good time.

- And trying to find Angelina a sailor before I leave.

- They're not even here.

- They're [bleep] all over the place.

- There's no men here

with white hats and [bleep].

Just saying. - OK, it's not Pearl Harbor.

- Pearl Harbor?

- You're gonna find a sailor man,

and you're gonna serve your country.

OK? - Serve my country?

I'm not Monica Lewinsky.

- You're gonna serve your country.

You're gonna find your man tonight.

- Listen, do you know what happened to her?

She had [bleep] on her [bleep] shirt,

and it was like-- it stayed on there for years.

- No, he actually--

[laughter]

- Bill Clinton got a blowie from Monica under his desk.

There was [bleep] on her dress.

And they saved the dress.

How did they save it for that many years?

Plastic? Like, what--

- No, I think it just happened.

- Where'd they put the pants for all those years?

Did they put it in the freezer?

Like Walt Disney? - I don't know.

- Sometimes, us girls, we like to talk about politics.

You know, history,

all the important things.

I'm serious. Just scientifically,

like, I just need to know.

- Did someone ever [bleep]

on your [bleep]?

It's like a couple thing.

- I will give a guy my vaginers,

but as far as [bleep] in my [bleep], [bleep] that.

- No wonder you're single, b*tch.

- ♪ I'ma shake it off

♪ Yeah

♪ I'ma shake it off

♪ Uh

♪ I'ma shake it uh, uh, uh, uh, off ♪

- Babe. - Hi.

- Wow.

So it is popping off in San Diego.

- No way. - Yeah, it's almost like,

you know how before I was like, ah,

I feel weird 'cause we're not going the same day they are?

- Mm-hmm. - Now I'm glad we're not.

- What happened? - Vinny calls me,

and it's World w*r III over there.

He's like, [bleep] hit the fan.

The second they seen each other,

Jenni's yelling at Angelina,

Angelina's yelling at Mike.

Mike's in the middle of it.

- OK. All right.

We're gonna need to sit down and eat.

- Yeah, it's a lot.

It's, like, hitting me. I'm like, wow.

Like, thank God we did not go there

the day we were supposed to.

I'm glad you had a birthday,

'cause we got to miss the drama.

Cheers to not being a part of that drama.

- Cheers to having NOMO. - Yes.

- NOMO drama. - Salute.

- ♪ Let's get on the floor

♪

♪ Get down on the ground

♪

- Tell me when.

- I thought we were going to Bang Bang.

- Tell me when.

- Why are we the first ones?

- I don't know.

- [laughing] It's getting--Deena!

- I want a nice drink.

- I need a [bleep] IV of tequila,

and then I think I'll be OK.

- Deena!

- When. [laughs]

- Are you a psycho?

- That was, like, a good poor.

- Come on. Come on.

The squad is going to Bang Bang.

We're about to turn up for some Asian cuisine.

Yo, I'm starving.

I'm hungrys, and I can't wait to go.

all: San Diego!

- Bang Bang.

- Ew! - Oh, my God.

- Mike, that was so ugly.

- ♪ So much to lose, don't get it confused ♪

♪ I'm on the way, where are you? ♪

- First night in San Diego!

- Oh, that's a condom that you just stepped on.

- Ooh. - Wow.

- [squeals] [laughter]

- Deena, do you know where it is?

- Oh, it's right there. It's right there.

Across the street.

- Yes. Let's do it.

- Guys, guys.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, y'all.

- This is dope. - Dope spot.

It's called Bang Bang. - Thanks, Mike.

- [bleep] yeah. - Thank you.

- I'll bring you guys some sake.

- Ooh! - Oh, my goodness.

- This is exactly what I was just gonna order.

- What the hell?

Bang Bang.

- Cheers. - Bang bang.

- Sake shot. - Cheers.

- So Angelina, how's the single life?

- Vinny, how's the single life?

- Lit. - Is it--is it great?

- It's pretty lit, yeah.

I do get lonely at times though.

- It takes Vinny . milliseconds

to start flirting with me.

You should do a formal welcoming me into it.

- Ohh--whoa, whoa, whoa.

What do you have planned for it?

- That's your job.

- You hear what she said?

I have to have a formal welcoming her

into the single life.

Sounds like doing the hippity-dippity to me.

Angelina has never been single on a vacation.

I mean, even when Angelina and I had our special moment

and made passionate love back in the day,

she'd just met some guy named Jose.

So she still was banging multiple guys,

but she just wasn't single.

So like, what do you do now?

- What do you do now?

- Smash chicks.

Until I find my love.

- Don't look at me.

Stop looking at me when you do that.

- It will not be you. Don't worry.

- See? Why dd you do that?

"When I find my love," and you look up at me.

I was waiting for your eyeballs to--

- Bro, I swear, I was just looking

in this direction. You're next to--

you're [bleep] across from me.

- You do it to yourself.

- You're across from me right now.

- You do it to yourself.

- I love Vinny and Angelina's relationship,

because they hate each other,

but I feel like they love each other at the same time.

- I'm on an app. Like, a special app.

- Luxury Pros? - Raya.

So, like, there's, like, hot models on there.

None of them swipe right on me.

- Aww, babe!

- How'd you get on it? Do you have to get approved?

- You have to have, like, a recommendation.

- Can you recommend me? - Uh, no.

- So you can't give me a recommendation, bro?

- Hell, no.

- I know, the meatballs.

- as*h*le. - Stop throwing [bleep].

Before I recommend Angelina for my dating app,

hell is gonna freeze over, pigs are gonna fly.

We're probably gonna see Jesus.

- Why not? - 'Cause I don't want

my name to be tarnished.

- [gasps]

I'm dying. All right.

All right, you want to do that? OK.

All right, we're starting this vacation off real good, man.

- Do you ever match with anybody?

- I do once in a while.

But the ones that I want, I'm like,

come on, come on, swipe right.

And they don't. - Aww!

- Oh, my goodness.

[cheers]

- Ever since the Florida Keys,

Vinny has been so miserable

about us forgetting his birthday.

- My birthday's next week, but, you know,

we need another party for Mike though.

- Someone seems a little salty!

- I've been on "Jersey Shore" for, like, years now,

and never had a party.

- So when we got to the restaurant,

I found the waitress, and I just, like, lean in,

and I say, hey, can you get a birthday cake

for the guy next to me?

all: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Vinny

♪ Happy birthday to you

[cheers]

- This is not a birthday party. Nice try.

I mean, I've been to my roomies' parties before.

- Happy birthday!

[cheers]

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you

- We got two cakes.

all: ♪ Happy birthday to you

all: Happy divorce party!

- To CJ! all: To CJ!

- Whoo!

- And like, you know, there's, like, a feast...

- All right, guys, mangia!

I got chicken parm, pasta, shrimp scampi over here.

- To choirs.

all: ♪ The blessed occasion

- And there's fire.

- Let freedom reign!

[cheers]

- I'm getting, like, one sparkler,

and, like, a waiter.

Aw, thanks for the party, guys.

With friends like you...

both: Who needs enemies?

[laughter]

- What a day to say that.

- Yeah. Exactly.

[tense musical sting]

- Another comment.

I feel like even though it was squashed,

it's not squashed.

And, like, if there is any drama,

then just put it out on the table.

Enough with the puns.

- Nothing.

- I don't--I don't get it.

- I don't need people saying side [bleep] on the side.

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- Oh, damn. - Just let it go,

unless other people want it to be something.

- Deena took this comment very seriously.

She immediately looked at me.

And I was like, oh, [bleep].

Deena wants some smoke still.

I think Deena's upset

that she brought up the podcast.

I mean, listen, the first rule of group chat,

don't talk about group chat.

So don't be mad at me.

- I'm in a mood,

'cause if people don't want it to be bigger than it is,

let's shut the [bleep] up.

- ♪ Turn it up

♪ Turn it up

♪ Turn it up

♪ Turning up the fire

- With friends like you...

both: Who needs enemies?

[laughter]

- What a day to say that.

- Nothing.

I'm in a mood.

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- Oh, damn. - Just let it go,

unless other people want it to be something.

[dramatic music]

You know, enemies are better than friends, guys.

Or whatever that [bleep] saying was.

What is it? Friends are--

- With friends like this, who needs enemies?

- Exactly.

- Dee, we don't want you to feel some type of way.

- Right.

- Ooh, Meana's out right now.

And I don't like Meana,

so I got to go.

All right. Well, I think we can go home.

- Yep. I think-- - My tummy hurts

and I'm tired. - I think we got it.

- Whoever wants to go home should just go.

And whoever wants to stay should just stay.

I am just so sick of hearing Mike's comments

about bringing up the podcast thing.

- I completely forgot until Deena brought it up.

- And I'm, like, upset Jenni brought it up,

'cause it kind of makes me look like the bad guy.

This wasn't even supposed to be a [bleep] thing.

And I just hate it all.

- Phenomenal.

- Whoo!

- Let's go dance.

- A little bit.

- I just feel like--

- What happened? I missed it.

- I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you.

- There's something obviously brewing inside of Deena,

and I'm concerned.

Girl, we totally moved on.

Like, why are you simmering in your head right now?

Let it go.

- Wait, Dee, what just happened?

- Nothing. I'm gonna have fun.

- ♪ I came to party, I know you did too ♪

- [laughing] Stop.

- I mean, tonight Deena is going to be a good time,

or she's gonna k*ll somebody.

- So Deena was trying to talk to me.

- Yeah, she was about to be on one.

- She was directing it towards me.

I think Deena's mad about the podcast.

I actually think she's mad at me because I looked at her,

and I said Deena's the one that brought up the [bleep] podcast.

She asked--she's like, did you bring up the podcast?

- What the hell?

- Do you remember he wanted

to bring you on his podcast?

- Totally forgot about that.

- Did he deny that? - No.

I didn't even bring that up.

- That's wild, man.

- Now Jenni is throwing Deena under the bus

for bringing up the podcast thing.

This is like, literally, we're playing, like,

hot potato with, like, whose fault it is.

At some point it's definitely gonna be my fault.

It's probably all my fault.

- I saw her at the table looking in this direction

to snap at somebody for some reason,

but she wants to snap at herself.

To be honest. I'm gonna call facts, facts.

[upbeat music]

♪

- ♪ Here we go, swoop

♪ Jumpin' through hoops, set it off ♪

- Yep. My husband is drunk.

- ♪ Mademoiselle on the payback ♪

♪ Don't take that deck, go shake that ♪

♪ Glittering gold, it's a big sack ♪

♪ Ice on my wrist

- Chris is a vibe.

♪

[screaming]

This is, like, what I needed for so long.

- ♪ Why don't you scream for me ♪

- Hearing music, having drinks.

Just fun.

- ♪ Pump it up, turn it up

♪ Speakers got it to the max

♪ And it ain't loud enough

♪ We be going all night

♪ Bobbing with the bass

♪ Everybody wylin'

♪ Jumping over gates

- Oh, my God, like, the fact that, like,

we're drinking, we're having a great time,

this is the perfect night.

This is literally a dirty stay-out night.

Aah!

This is what we do.

Ah-ah-ah!

We just keep the party going,

and I love this [bleep].

- ♪ Scream for me

♪ Why don't you scream for me ♪

♪ I'll make you scream for me ♪

♪ Go ahead and scream for me

♪ Just scream for me

♪ Why don't you scream for me ♪

♪ I'll make you scream for me ♪

♪ Go ahead and scream for me

[music stops]

- It would not be a night at the club

if a meatball didn't fall right on her face.

[upbeat music]

- [screams]

[laughter]

- [screams]

- We always fool with each other.

If you're saying that I'm talking [bleep],

the whole group chat is talking [bleep].

- ♪ She a stallion

♪ Throw it back, uh

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ She throw it back then he

♪ Say she a stallion

- I just opened up a case against Deener Buckner.

We came into this trip positive,

and then Deena tries to throw me under the bus.

- ♪ Click, click, ba-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ♪

♪ Click, click, pause

- I want to know, what was she gonna flip out

at the dinner table?

But we always fool with each other.

If you're saying that I'm talking [bleep],

the whole group chat is talking [bleep].

I don't know why Deener is coming at me

because for you to point out something that I did,

it's only sort of exposing yourself.

And I'm definitely pissed off.

- No, 'cause then she even said,

I have a problem with you.

I was like, are you mad?

She goes, well, yeah, kind of.

- Just when you think there ain't much going on.

I saw her in, like, slow motion.

She was like--

looking for anybody to, like--

I was like, oh, [bleep], like, yo, chill.

Why try to paint me in a bad light?

- Mike definitely put himself

in the center of a lot of this drama.

But right now he's trying to deflect.

- I just don't understand why months later, like,

you just start, like, all right, like, yo,

let's try to get at Mike.

- Definitely not helping the situation,

no pun intended.

[laughs]

- I'm going to bed. - OK.

- I love you guys. - I'm going to bed too.

- With friends like these...

- I got you.

- Bye. Thank you for having us.

Thank you so much. We had fun.

We had fun. - Oh!

- Oh, I love this [bleep]!

Let's do it.

[angelic music]

Yep, that is happening.

- ♪ Sexy ladies and we in the mood ♪

♪ Poppin' bottles, we ain't sweatin' you ♪

♪ We livin' large, ain't got much to prove ♪

♪ You either winning with us, or you set to lose ♪

♪ So twerk some for a real one ♪

♪ Now, throw it back, uh

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ She throw it back then he

♪ Say she a stallion

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ She throw it back then he

♪ Say she a stallion

♪ He said, now throw it back for a real one ♪

♪ Let me see that booty jiggle for a real one ♪

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ Ay, throw it back, uh

♪ She throw it back then he

♪ Say she a stallion

♪ She a baddy with a fatty

♪ Top notch chick

♪ All the homies got her top of they wish list ♪

- This is, like, what I envisioned for San Diego.

Dancing, just, like, being a meatball in the streets.

Like, this is amazing.

- I screamed so loud. [bleep]

[inaudible]

- Gonna jump in the shower real quick.

- OK.

[upbeat music]

♪

- OK, that was it.

We're going up!

- Let her have a good time.

- Jeesh!

- Let's say bye to our friend.

- Bye!

- I want to go dance.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo! - Wow.

Kind of [bleep] forgot how it feels.

- Yes, b*tch!

- So what a fun time.

The dirty stay-out stayed out.

- Again.

- Hello.

- [inaudible] - Oh, wait, we have friends!

Come on in to the confessional!

[slurring] We're talking about the bicycle ride.

- No, no, no. We're talking about the dirty stay-out.

[both chanting] Dirty stay-out. - [bleep] yeah!

- Deena's my best friend. - [bleep]

- I love you.

- Deena's my best friend.

- Dirty stay-out!

[all chanting] Dirty stay-out!

Dirty stay-out!

- I sleep when I'm [bleep] dead.

[overlapping yelling]

I'll sleep when I'm dead, you know what I'm saying?

I had so much [bleep]-- - Are you all right there?

- Meatball down. - Are you all right down there?

- Meatball? Meatball down.

- All right. She's all right.

She's all right down there. - That's all that matters.

- She's fine.

- She didn't really fall that far down.

- Do you want to come back up?

- We're good. We're good. - All right.

- I live here. - All right.

- ♪ We went to Bang Bang - ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord

- ♪ We went to Bang Bang - ♪ Kumbaya

♪ Kumbaya

- Why are you breathing on me like that, you sicko?

[laughter]

- Your phone is on the floor, bro.

- Oh, here. Here it is.

- Why'd it get on the floor? - Just pretend that's not real.

[loud thud] - Ooh!

- Oh, my God! - Nicole! Nicole!

- We need a medic in confessional.

[dramatic music]

- Are you all right?

- You OK?

- I'm fine.

I work here.

[laughter]

- Don't [bleep]!

- ♪ I don't really care about ♪

♪ What anyone is thinking

- I love you guys.

You're alive.

Thank you for loving me.

All right, go--go to bed.

- Well, you're not going into random places.

- This is nice.

- Do you want to sleep with me?

- I'm--I'm OK.

- Like, we've only been here for hours.

This [bleep] is already freaking nuts.

And it's time for the Buckners to go to sleep.

We're in here.

If today was any indication

of how this vacation is gonna go,

then this is going to be a [bleep] roller coaster ride.

I'm just exhausted.

Honestly. What a day.

- What a day.

- We're here.

- I love you. - I'm gonna put you into bed.

- Thank you.

- Let's cuddle.

- So long. Good night.

- Angelina, cuddle me.

- [sighs] What a [bleep] night.

Jesus Christmas.

- ♪ You and me could go, take a top shelf vacation.

[alarm ringing]

- [bleep]

Crazy-a*s night, man.

- Ugh.

- New day.

- You're still not awake? It's Easter.

- I don't have the kids this Easter.

So I don't want to wake up.

both: Happy Easter!

- It makes me kind of miss the kids.

- Yeah, of course.

- They're with their dad.

And we get them tomorrow.

So what the [bleep] do adults

that don't have kids do on Easter?

Get drunk? - I have no idea.

Drink?

- Did you have fun last night?

- Oh. Yeah.

Last night was good.

Yesterday was a lot.

I don't want to, like, have to do that ever again.

I think just that whole sit-down was just, like,

[bleep] t*rture.

I don't give a [bleep] if you leaked it

or if you didn't leak it.

- OK. - I don't give a [bleep].

- OK. - I am so done.

I'm too old for this [bleep]!

- You think I'm not old for this [bleep]?

I'm done!

- Is it over? - It has to be

'cause I can't do it anymore.

I can't do any more of this.

I just feel, like, overwhelmed with, like,

negativity from yesterday.

- With friends like you...

both: Who needs enemies?

[laughter]

- What a day to say that.

- Why are we still doing, like, these things?

Let's just [bleep] move on.

- I'm definitely proud of you, honey,

that you're staying out of some

of the dramas that's happening here.

Day one was à la old "Jersey Shore."

Everyone was fighting, everyone was screaming.

You did this, and you did that.

We came into this trip positive.

And then Deena tries to throw me under the bus.

And there's still a little disappointment

about Deena bringing up that podcast

that didn't really need to be brought up.

Like, I'm gonna pick out this little blurb in group chat,

and I'm gonna say, you did that.

- Dee, that's a horrible idea. - I'm just saying,

it's very weird.

- I don't know what happened last night.

I went to Deena, and I said, are you mad at me?

And she goes, well, kind of.

And I was like, what?

I'm afraid that Deena might wake up spiraling

this morning after the whole,

"who needs enemies when you have friends like this?"

Deena just took it to a very, like,

I think, internal feeling.

- You guys should just ask her why she's upset.

- No. Deena is an emotional creature.

It's like feeding a gremlin after midnight.

- Today has to be a good day.

- It's gonna be-- - Positive vibes only.

- It's gonna be a great day.

- 'Cause, like, I don't have it in me.

- We all know, in group chat,

that we all make fun of each other.

But for you to single out Sitch,

OK, let me just point over there.

- That might have been why she looked so shook,

because she might have not known what was gonna come up.

- I am just disappointed with how she handled that.

I don't know what I did to Deena

in order for her to attack me.

I'm really gonna have to sit down with her,

because we need to figure this out now.

I just opened up a case against Deener Buckner.

- I'm years old.

I have two kids, an amazing husband.

My life is [bleep] amazing.

I don't have to deal with that [bleep].

- Deena wants all the smoke. - I know...

- She wants all the smoke. - But I'm not gonna participate

in that.

- Yesterday was just too much.

We're too old for that [bleep].

Like, I don't have it in me.

- Deena's driving the bus.

Beep. Beep. - [laughing]

Let's go to breakfast.

- Like, honestly, just, like, I can't do it again.

- It's OK.

- I really do have a good life.

And, like, dealing with that yesterday was a lot.

And it just takes too much out of me.

- Deena, Deena--

- It's gonna be a good day, honey.

Positive vibes only. - Yep.

Let's go to breakfast.

- I don't have it in me to fight with people.

I wish I'd never told Jenni about the podcast.

[all screaming]

- ♪ We went to a winery

[laughter]

- I want to have an epic vacation.

[laughter]

Wanna see the roomies. I miss them all.

[laughter]

- I peed on myself. - Ew!

- I do not want drama.

- I hated yesterday. It was tough.

I didn't really know how to react.