03x16 - The Cow Jumped Over the Spoon

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

[expl*si*n]

[siren blaring]

[tires screeching]

[siren blaring]

Ah, Carol, what a fine morning.
No emergencies, no problems.

Everyone and everything
working in harmony.

Agreed, Mr. Mayor, it couldn't be
a more perfect day in the city.

Precisely! That is what's
causing me great concern!

I am wildlife expert
Westbrook W. Sleet.

This is Toby, my trusty cameraman
and ally in adventure.

Mr. Mayor, I believe a rare,
wild animal is loose in this city.

That's odd.

There was no mention of anything

at this morning's
wild animal briefing.

Then it's worse than I thought.

The Standing Cow of the Lowlands
is a master of misinformation!

[both] The Standing Cow
of the Lowlands?

Precisely!

Not only has it evolved
a unique upright stature,

the Standing Cow also possesses
an intelligence so keen,

it leaves no evidence
that it even exists!

Excuse me, Mr. Sleet,
but weren't you

also recently involved
in an incident

involving another "rare animal,"
the Tree Gazelle?

This just in.

Scandal rocks nature
host Westbrook W. Sleet,

who is accused of faking footage
for his popular TV series,

Wild Wilderness.

There it is!
The elusive Tree Gazelle.

What a majestic,
beautiful creature!

That was merely
an equipment test.

The Tree Gazelle
is notoriously camera shy,

so I knew we'd only get
one chance to film it.

Like the gazelle,
Toby has high cheek bones,

so I had him stand in.

And moments later,
we did film the actual gazelle,

but that footage
mysteriously vanished!

So it's just a coincidence
that finding this "Standing Cow"

could restore your reputation
after that really embarrassing

and potentially
career-k*lling incident?

Precisely!

And what evidence do you have
that this "Standing Cow"

-is in our city?
-None, of course!

The biggest clue
a Standing Cow is here

is the utter lack of clues it is here.

Uh-huh, but you can see
how that might sound...

completely crazy.

Precisely! That is how clever
the Standing Cow is!

It makes anyone attempting
to prove it exists

sound barking mad,
so no one believes them!

Well, since what you say lacks
any kind of credibility,

then yes.

That said, if you must search for
an imaginary bovine in my city,

I'd ask that you not disrupt
this perfect day.

Wouldn't dream of it!
Toby! Cymbals!

-[cymbals clink]
-[both whimper]

We're mimicking
the Standing Cow's

natural habitat.

This is exactly
what it would sound like

if one crashed cymbals
there as well.

Welcome back
to a special Wild Wilderness

where we're tracking the elusive
Standing Cow of the Lowlands.

The non-trail of no clues
has led us here to this large,

potentially dangerous
urban center,

where we hope
to humanely capture,

then safely release
the cow back into the wild.

But to find a Standing Cow,

one must think
like a Standing Cow.

Try our all new pre-chewed hay!
On sale! We graze, you save!

Like all cows,
the Standing Cow cannot

resist pre-masticated hay,
which is why, being so clever,

it would never take
such obvious bait,

which is why it would,
in fact, take the bait,

because taking the bait is the...

Hey! What are you doing
behind this conveniently...

[Mr. Produce yelps]

It appears the Standing Cow
has outwitted us again.

This is enjoyably humane! Hey!

[Toby] I don't understand, boss,

why would the Standing Cow
be in a diner?

Precisely, a diner
is the last place you'd find

a Standing Cow, therefore,

there's a high probability
we'll find him here.

Of course! I don't get it.

See, in nature, animals
develop survival mechanisms

like pretending to be
other species

to fool their enemies.

The Standing Cow
has no such defense mechanism,

so it follows
this ingenious creature

pretends to be other species.

In fact, he could or could not be
anyone in this diner. Perhaps both.

[Toby] Ohh!
Like movie star Matt Finish!

I know who you are!

Well, duh, I only won
the Mustache of the Year award

four years in a row.

Ha! Good disguise.
A little too good.

So just remain calm.

I'm just gonna pull
your face off.

No! Not the face!

It's the ideal place
for my mustache!

What's going on here?

Nothing, officer.

I just need to pull off
this creature's face.

You're not fooling anyone!

I'm arresting you
for public disturbance,

attempted removal of
a celebrity's mustache holder,

and disrupting
an officer's lunch.

Pardon me, officer.
Westbrook W. Sleet here.

We are tracking the Standing Cow
of the Lowlands through the city.

-Did you say Standing Cow?
-Precisely.

Toby, here, believed Mr. Finish
was the bovine in question.

Clearly the Standing Cow
would never draw attention

to itself by posing
as a celebrity,

which is exactly why it
would pose as a celebrity

as that is something
it would never do.

Yeah, well, you heard
my partner,

we're letting you off
with a warning.

Thank you, officers!

Keep an eye out
for anything not unusual!

Hey! Why'd we let them walk?

It was a choice between
lots of paperwork or pie.

It wasn't close.

We must not be overlooking
something that's not there.

Some obvious lack of a clue.

Say, boss, isn't it possible
the Standing Cow doesn't exist?

I see the non-evidence
is piling up,

but if I understand
this correctly,

which I don't,
isn't the very fact you believe

it's here proof
that it's not here?

I mean, why would a Standing Cow
even come to a large city?

Toby! You're complete
and utter inability to grasp

the situation is the final piece
of the puzzle!

I know why the Standing Cow
of the Lowlands is here

What is the meaning of this?
I'm working.

This had better be work-related,
because I am in the zone.

The Standing Cow wants
to live here permanently!

Well, our city is
the ideal place to settle down.

No, you don't understand.

There's no telling
how a Standing Cow

and humans will interact.

It's a potentially
volatile situation.

Nonsense. Look.
The city is calm.

No panic, no bedlam.
Not even a moo.

The only disturbances
have being caused by you two.

[gasps]
What's that?

Ah, yes, that's the giant spoon
created to sit atop

the new giant spoon store
opening this weekend.

No, that is trouble.

This, Mayor Fleck,
is a Spoonfly,

an abundant pest
in the Lowlands.

As a natural defense,
the Standing Cow emits

an odorless pheromone
to drive them away,

but the pheromone effects
all living creatures,

including humans!

If the Standing Cow were to see
a spoon of that size,

it could cause
a pheromone overload,

and drive everyone in the city

into an anti-spoon
destroying frenzy.

[gasps]

Think of it,
a city without spoons!

People forced to eat soup
and ice cream with forks!

It will be mayhem!

We have to stop that truck
before the Standing Cow sees it!

That's odd.

♪ Loud song, the loud song ♪

[Westbrook] Follow that spoon!

[grunts]

[Mr. Produce]
Here's your change.

Can I interest you
in some pre-chewed hay?

[horns honking]

[Westbrook shouts]

Well, boss, at least
we stopped the truck.

Wait, have you noticed

there are no clues
that the Standing Cow

is in this cell
with us right now?

There's a big difference
between no clue and a non-clue.

It's only a matter of time
before the Standing Cow

and that giant spoon
cross paths,

and then it's... Spoonageddon.

[lock clanking]

Okay. You two cowboys, with me.

Here. You don't have
a lot of time

before they figure out
you're gone.

-Why are you helping us?
-This is why.

My Great Grand-Grizzled's
soup fork.

He once unwittingly crossed
paths with a Standing Cow,

and held up a spoon
as a sign of friendship.

It was his way.

Must have upset the cow,
'cause Great Grand-Grizzled

suddenly began destroying
every spoon in the village.

Spent the rest of his days an outcast,

broken,
and spoonless.

That won't happen to this city.
Not on my watch.

On your great grandfather's
soup fork,

we'll stop this spoontastrophe
from occurring!

[Toby]
The Eco-Power Plant? Why here?

Is there some non-clue
we didn't miss?

Is this where the complete lack
of trail is coldest?

What amazing,
intuitive leap of non-logic

have you made
to bring us here, boss?

Uh, it's the only place
we haven't looked yet.

Yep, there it is.

The Standing Cow
of the Lowlands.

Precisely!
Magnificent, isn't it?

[Toby] People are gonna
lose their minds!

Massive crowds will gather
day and night

to watch every move this shy,
reclusive creature makes,

while scientist intrusively
study every inch of it.

This is Westbrook W. Sleet here
with the never before seen...

No. We can't allow this.

Standing Cow, you must leave.

A city is not safe for a majestic being
such as yourself.

Quickly, go, while you still can!
Make haste now!

Boss? What are you doing?
You're letting it get away?

Precisely! Don't you see, Toby?

We proved that beautiful
creature really does exist

but I see now that
its very existence is dependent

on there, being no evidence
that it exists.

[yells]

Uh, you could have just erased
the memory chip.

Precisely!

[police siren wailing]

I can't believe Judge Strictpunish

made us write, "I will not cause
city-wide panic

over imaginary cows"


My wrist is so tired.

The Standing Cow was able
to escape safely back

to the Lowlands,
that's all that matters.

This is Gabby Tocamera here
with Westbrook W. Sleet.

Mr. Sleet,
the missing Tree Gazelle footage

was anonymously dropped off
at our station with a note

that just read "moo."

How does it feel
to be exonerated?

There's an important lesson
for all of us, Gabby.

If you take care of nature,

I believe nature
will take care of you.

[theme music]