04x24 - Surprise! It's a Snooki

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- Hi.

- The bear-cation has officially started.

- Whoo!

- I'm just praying they don't scare her off.

- Chris, why don't you have some [bleep] for Angelina?

- Ohh!

- I get covered in nacho bowling alley cheese.

This jacket means a lot to me.

And I might be saying goodbye to this jacket forever.

- We're kidnapping you.

- Iron down. Let's go, b*tch.

- Should I be scared? - Little bit.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Overlooking the city all right ♪

♪ [indistinct] and pretty I shine ♪

- To the shuttles. - Whoo!

- We have Saffabear.

Me and the girls are going to do,

like, pre-dinner, drinks, and apps

to get to know Saffabear a little more.

It's just with us girls.

We'll definitely get a better read on her.

- Ooh, hot chocolate.

- Oh, this is nice.

- I don't know what that is.

- Escargot.

- Hi, baby, What happened?

- Actually, I'm not too sure.

- You have some ice cream, watch a little movie,

and I'll be in there to get you in a little bit.

- Actually, it might be mushrooms.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Actually, those look like dumplings.

- Meilani mad that she wasn't invited to girls' night.

- Ohh.

- I explained to her that girls' night

is over .

- What did she say?

- [bleep] off. - Oh, my God, so cute.

- ♪ I'm feelin' so alive, think I've been reborn ♪

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

- Deena's Chris was cutting our hair this whole time,

but he wants to have a vacation too,

so he called our real barber.

Thank you, sir.

- Here's what we're gonna do. - Okay.

This is gonna be good.

I gotta hear this.

- No, I'll do a skin fade, like, half,

like, above the ear, like, mid, not too high, not too low,

not a taper. - Okay.

- And then, like, here...

- Watching Vinny order his haircut

is like him ordering his food.

- I like the, uh, how can I say this?

Like, the clean, natural look.

- It takes an hour.

- See, like, I made the line over here?

I think it can come down a little bit to, like,

or /.

Texturize it with some scissors.

Clean it up, but not, like, the block.

But I used to do it over here, and I don't like that.

- What are you talking about?

- All right, I'm gonna go get ready for dinner.

- Yeah? - Leave you to it.

- All right, bro. - Yes, sir.

- Oh, and then the top...

- What's your favorite part about Ron?

- Honestly, he'll, like, think about me randomly.

Like, he'll get me, like, my lash tools to work on.

He's like, "I bought you new lash tools,"

stuff like that, like, for work.

- That's cute. - He, like,

wants to help you, like, better yourself.

[line trilling]

- Saffire is gone, and I'm like,

"Did she run away already?"

[line trilling]

Did they scare her off?

I knew I should have never brought her.

- Hello? Hi, babe. I'm with the girls.

- We kidnapped her. - We kidnapped her, Ron.

- Oh, okay, cool.

- "Okay, cool." - "Okay, cool."

Ronnie's definitely having a heart attack right now

knowing that Saffa is with all the girls,

mm-hmm.

- All right, well, text me if anything...

- Okay, love you.

- All right, I love you. - Love you.

[together] Bye.

- He's so funny.

He's like, "Are you good?

I have you location?"

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

What does he think that we're gonna get, like,

poison and we'll k*ll you? - I love that.

- ♪ We came to party tonight ♪

♪ We came to party tonight ♪

- What up, my dude?

Tonight the boys are supposed to meet the girls at dinner.

Big Daddy Sitch looks forward to his meals.

Who are we waiting on? Probably Twiggy.

- You could drop it down a little bit.

Maybe he's jump-roping [bleep] Chooch.

- Like, almost like where these little hairs

kind of wisp at it.

- I feel like it's like a blessing meeting him,

because he knows how to, like, put up with me,

because I'm so, like-- I'm the only child,

so I'm, like, I have my little tantrums

where I'm like, "Now," you know?

- Yeah. - Yeah, but he--

- "I want it now." - Yeah.

- Yeah, that's definitely me.

- Oh, so you're the only child.

You're the only child. - Mm-hmm.

- [indistinct] but yes. - Nicole's the only child.

- Nicole's and only child. - Yeah.

- Who else is the only child?

- Nikki, do you have brothers or sisters?

- I do, but I kind of grew up, like, just me.

My mom chose to not be present.

Her maternal instincts just never clicked, you know?

There's six of us that she has,

and four of them could walk right by her on the street

and not know that it was her.

And I grew up with my dad. He raised me.

- I was the same way. I was raised by my father.

My ex didn't like my dad.

And to me that was a huge issue.

- In that you're very close to your dad.

- And--very close to my dad, and he would be like,

"You dad's a bad influence," like, so, like,

to me I would just be like, "Well, that was my dad.

"He was, like, the best thing.

Like, sorry my life wasn't fantastic."

- That was the same too.

Like, I didn't grow up seeing my mom and dad

hold hands or even kiss.

I don't--I didn't have that example of love.

With him...

[together] Ohh. Oh, no. You feel okay?

- Whew.

Hold on.

- Give her a tissue? - Oh, honey, you need a tissue?

I have a very similar story to Nikki,

raised in a single home just like her.

Her dad was there for her just like mine was.

Her mother really wasn't just like mine was.

And it's, like, to just see emotion like that

was making me cry.

I saw a quote today that, like, blew my mind.

It says, "Be the parent that you needed so desperately

as a child." - As a kid.

- So, like, to me I didn't have a mom.

I had no maternal anything... - Anything.

- Growing up.

So to me it's like, "Well, I need to be the number one mom."

- Yep. - And I don't know

what the hell I'm doing, 'cause I'm, like,

I didn't have a mom, but I'm, like,

whatever she needs, whatever, princess....

- You're there. - I'm there.

'Cause, like, I don't know-- I didn't have that.

- And I look at you, and I want to be like that.

Because I also--like, my mom... - Oh, I'm a mess.

- I have a mom, but I never had a dad.

Like, he's alive, but he's not...

- Yeah. - He wasn't at my wedding.

You know that. - Yeah.

- He should have been walking me down the aisle.

I feel the same way as you. Like, you don't really--

and you too--we don't know-- we never knew how that was

to have family together, parents together.

- I love how close everybody is getting on this trip,

not only, like, us, but also the significant others.

We're all opening up, and it really feels like

a big family, makes me really happy.

- Now I've got to check my makeup,

'cause I'm all, like, teary-eyed and [bleep].

- Sorry. - Oh, my God.

- Yeah, like, what are the boys doing?

- [bleep] Vin

- So this is what it feels like when you guys are waiting

for me and Angelina, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

There's Angelina right there.

- What's up, [bleep]?

- Brah, you Chooch.

- Oh, [bleep].

- About to [bleep] order breakfast.

- Is dinner far?

- I don't really cry like this ever.

- Oh, we're going in here.

- Oh, where are we?

- Ooh. - We're first.

- Uncle Nino.

- You want to sit next to me?

- Yeah, I'll sit next to you.

- Look at you guys. - [laughs]

- I can't believe you just asked me to sit next to you.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- You good? - Yes, I missed you.

- I missed you. - Tequila?

- Oh, okay. - Oh, [bleep], garlic bread.

- That's a keto kryptonite.

- Dinner is served.

- Did you have room, Nino? - Yeah, he's good.

He's not gonna eat. He's gonna drink.

- How the [bleep] did Uncle Nino infiltrate dinner?

- Uncle Nino, do you want to move in with Vinny in LA?

- Yo, chill, Saffa.

- No.

- I don't have grass.

[indistinct]. - I was looking at polishing.

- [indistinct].

- Sure, they [bleep] give you subtitles,

it's gonna sound amazing.

- If only people really understood you,

your jokes would land.

[laughter]

- I need to use the bathroom.

Is the bathroom that way or this way?

- What did you girls talk about?

- Boys. - A lot.

- It was actually a really wonderful conversation.

- Sound boring. [laughs]

- You are terrible. - I can't.

- He's gonna act out tonight,

because it's no longer him and Ron

to make fun of the domesticated couples.

- What's your favorite meal that Nikki cooks for you?

- Oh, this couple [bleep] is so boring.

- I'm just getting into chamomile tea.

- I love chamomile. - Yeah, she does that.

- We have it every night, chamomile.

- Waterboard me with the chamomile tea.

- Oh, my God.

I give him chamomile tea every night.

She gives him chamomile tea every night.

Welcome, Ron.

- I am the lone wolf in the middle of all these

chamomile tea-drinking, Bad Bath & Beyond-going,

Container Store-shopping couples.

- We need to find you a girlfriend.

- I'm happy. - You're happy?

- What about Maria?

- Saffa, Lauren's pregnant.

I know. I saw.

- Do you want to be pregnant one day?

- Oh, my God. - What the?

- What the [bleep]?

- ♪ Careful what you say ♪

- What is person A's favorite sex position?

Doggy-style, very nice.

- That's Dee on top. - They got it.

- Anywhere and everywhere.

Hey! all: Ohh!

- Okay, we're bringing the boards out?

- It is finally time to show Angelina the FBI board.

Everyone's gotten so close on this vacation.

- So you want to ruin it.

- Saffa, Lauren's pregnant.

I know. I saw.

- Do you want to be pregnant one day?

- Oh, my God. - What the?

- Wow. - What is wrong with you?

- I mean, like, have kids.

- Um, yeah, I definitely do one day.

I'm gonna be next year.

- Hear that, Ron?

Biological clock is ticking.

- Oh, my God. What's wrong with you?

- Vinny's trying to scare Saffa of so he won't be

the only single one at this table.

- Vin, do you want kids one day?

- Yeah. - I think so.

- You think so. - Yeah.

- You're probably gonna get a girl.

- I just want my daughter to be as beautiful and classy

as Angelina.

Angelina, may I have some more water, please?

- Same. Can you pass it? - Thank you.

- Don't drop it. - That was nice.

You're being very nice tonight.

- Guys, who's that lady?

- Who?

- Where? - I don't know.

I've been seeing that before too.

- I swear she's, like, a therapist or something.

She's been taking notes.

- Oh, God.

- I actually have been taking some notes all dinner long.

- No. - Yep, yeah,

this is the etiquette dinner,

doing a little observing.

- Oh, I failed [bleep].

- Ohh! - Vinny's busted!

- What?

- You know, this was on the activity board this morning.

- They have a lot of activities.

- Etiquette dinner. That's for you, Angelina.

- Oh, okay.

- You know what? Reading comprehension

has never been our-- our strong point.

- Who wants to go first? - You can start with me.

- Okay. - Ohh.

I would say, like, just your posture

when you're at, like, a nice dinner,

you don't want to always be, like,

touching other people.

- Thanks, lady, but Zack needed that tip last year.

[upbeat music]

- You saw his hand was all over that [bleep].

- Angelina, just when you're doing soup, you want to, like,

go away from yourself, and you, like,

slide it on the base of the bowl

so that you don't drip on your clothes.

Otherwise, you did pretty well, did pretty well.

- That's it? - That all you had

for anything on Angelina?

- I mean, I'll take it. - We won.

- Yeah, of course you will. - They won,

because they don't touch each other.

Good job. [laughter]

- Chris, you were actually on Vinny more.

- Oh, really? - So just be careful there.

Yeah. - Very interesting.

- You know why? 'Cause she ain't giving me none.

I gotta go for something else, the only single one here.

They said the "couple," not "cuckholds."

- Vinny, be careful with some of your bites.

They were a little aggressive there,

but it makes conversation difficult,

'cause then you might have a mouthful.

And of course we know cursing, but...

- I'll work on that. - My turn.

- All right, you want to just be careful even just,

like, touching your face when you're at the table.

Cell phone at the table, that's naturally a no-no, yep.

Saffire, you just want to make sure you don't, like,

reach over people when you're, like, getting dressing.

- Sorry. - Ooh, she failed the test.

- Uncle Nino, got to watch out with the cursing.

- How does she even know he's cursing?

All I hear is... [speaking gibberish]

- How did she not get cursing?

- I'm just sipping my [bleep].

You cheeseburger-loving [bleep].

[bleep]. That was the worst [bleep] day ever.

What do you [bleep]? [bleep] millennials.

Go [bleep] yourself.

I'm gonna have to get out of here, like, right now.

- Five minute ago.

- I'm from Staten Island. I'm allowed to curse.

I don't know. I was born like that.

[bleep] off.

- And, Deena, you did have your green beans.

You've just got to eat them with your fork.

all: Ohh!

[indistinct chatter]

- There were a few situations. I won't lie.

[together] Ohh.

- When you were trying to find the restroom before,

you don't want to announce where you're going.

- Bathroom that way or this way?

- Wait for everybody to get served first before eating.

- You can't help yourself with that.

- You're crazy. [laughter]

That's just pure besmudgery.

Once you put foods in front of BDS, guess what.

- It's go time.

- So who won? - Who's the best couple?

- And they're always in competition.

- I know.

- I'm gonna go with Jenni and Zack on this one.

- Wow. - Okay.

- [indistinct]. - Good job, Jenni and Zack.

- How the [bleep] does and Jenni

win the etiquette award?

This b*tch just pulled out a bottle of tequila

out of her bag.

How does that win perfect etiquettes?

Etiquette-sy? Etaa-quettesy?

Etti-quette-sy?

I don't know how to say the [bleep] word,

'cause it's a tongue twister, but I'm just saying.

- Try to use these manners for the rest of your time here

and preferable no more food fights.

Thank you. all: Ohh!

- Nikki!

- Well, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

- Oh. - We're gonna play

a little game we like to call here in the Poconos

The Bae Game.

So grab your significant other.

- Whoo! - Come on over.

We are gonna try to see how well

our couples know each other.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, [bleep].

- What the [bleep]?

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

- Oh. - We are gonna try to see

how well our couples know each other.

We're gonna play a little game we like to call

her in the Poconos The Bae Game.

- Come on down to the stage.

[upbeat jazz music]

And this is The Bae Game.

The Situations are beloved in the streets.

- Let's go, babe. - We got this.

- We should go to therapy. - We don't need it.

- I got two baes.

- These are some hard questions.

- And the questions for who?

- So here is how The Bae Game is going to work.

I will ask you questions.

So you'll both write down your answer.

And then we'll flip the boards, and if you match,

you score a point.

- The Bae Game is making me nervous.

I'm only in this relationship for two years.

Deena and Mike have been in it for years.

Angelina and Chris have been together awhile,

but she filed, so how well does she know him?

Saffa and Ron haven't really been together.

And Pauly's got a sidepiece.

So we have a chance, small chance,

but there's a chance.

- Now, I will refer to you as person A or person B.

Person A is the person that is closest

to that wall over there, all right?

So person B closest to over here.

And the three in the center, we're just gonna

figure it out as we go, all right?

So question number one, person B,

what is person A's favorite sex position?

- Chris can't think that far back.

- Oh, relax.

- Wait, this is my favorite position?

- Yeah, your favorite position.

Is he taking a fricking--

- He's drawing a graphic.

- Christopher.

What is he drawing right now?

What if they don't understand your picture?

- Oh, they'll understand it.

- Please don't let it be graphic.

- All right, so let's start on this side.

He says "reverse cowgirl," and she said...

- Oh, my gosh. - "On top."

I mean, I'm gonna go with it.

I'm gonna go; I'm gonna say it's a match. All right.

- Pretty detailed, pretty detailed.

- All right, "Zack on top," "Zack on top."

That's a match, yes. All right.

To our trio in the center, what do we got?

Whoa. [laughter]

- Don't let him-- don't let him fool you.

He's the bottom. [buzzer buzzes]

- "On top," yes, it's a match. All right.

- "Me on top." - Her on top.

And lookit. There we go.

Yes, beautiful.

- Oh, my God.

- I didn't want to see that of my sister Deena.

- That's Dee on top.

This is me... They get it.

- Not on top. - They got it.

- Dee on top. - Oh, my God.

- Me not on top. - Okay.

- Oh, my gosh, but, like, kind of a good drawing,

not gonna lie.

- That why you're always pregnant.

- All right, it's a match.

- Doggy-style, very nice. Way to go.

- Yeah, that's how I got pregnant, guys.

- I'm getting to know y'all too much, man.

- I know, right?

- What is person A's tell

that they're in the mood?

Again, person B, what is person A's tell

that they're in the mood?

Al right, he says he asks.

Oh, "music and candles." [buzzer buzzes]

"When CJ goes to sleep."

And it says "always." - Always.

- Always. - Oh.

All right. - I put "kissing."

- Jumps on you. She says kissing.

- I tell him.

- She says it. Perfect.

That's a match.

All right, what do we got here in the center?

- [bleep].

- [laughs]

- [indistinct].

- Wow.

- Well, his [bleep] is hard when he's touching my cooter.

- Yo, Nikki's getting a little mad right now

that Vinny knows me a little bit better.

- What is person A's most annoying habit?

- Farting. [buzzer buzzes]

- Yeah, look at that. [indistinct].

- Person's biggest pet peeve.

- Brushing teeth. [buzzer buzzes]

[laughs]

- Brushing teeth and flossing in front of me.

- Favorite fast-food.

All right, he says Burger King.

- Babe, come on!

- Nikki better start upping her game

before I put her on the bench

and move Vinny to the main position.

- We're killin' it, babe.

- Does person B prefer looking natural or enhanced?

- "Natty" and "enhanced." [buzzer buzzes]

- Hey. - Whoa.

- Chris, come on.

- And that's why they were on a break.

- Name one thing of yours that person B

is dying to get rid of.

- He wants to get rid of her,

and she wants to get rid of him.

- I don't give a [bleep].

I don't give a [bleep] about Vinny.

- Come on.

I don't give a [bleep] about Vinny.

This table has got to go. - Come on.

- No. - I like the table.

- Where is person A's favorite place to make whoopie?

"Bed" and "bed." Yes.

And the bedroom.

- Everyone's like, "On the bed, on the bed."

Come on. You need some spice in your life.

Let's go.

- Oh, we have "anywhere" and "everywhere."

Hey! all: Ohh!

[upbeat music]

- By the way, Ronnie and Saffabear

are never housesitting in my house in LA.

- They're having sex right now.

- Here's out next question, all right?

So we have our final question of the night.

We do have a tie between Mike and Lauren,

Jenni and Zack right now.

- Ooh, battle of the couples.

- Draw the emoji that represents person A the best.

Okay?

- Me and my wife, we've known each other for years,

and if anywhere we are going to win it is here.

We know every single thing about each other.

The number one.

- The number one. Look at that. - Yeah.

- Is that what we got over there?

Let's see.

- That's the praying emoji. [buzzer buzzes]

- Whoa.

No point, no point.

- [groans] - It's all right, honey.

You don't know me well. - Wow.

- Ooh, they're fighting.

They're fighting.

- They don't know each other. It's a fraud.

- All right, here we go.

Zack, what emoji represents Jenni best?

[tense music]

Yeah, it's a match. Very nice.

Very nice. all: Ohh!

There's our winners.

Congratulations.

- I'm disappointed that The Situations lost.

We're gonna turn this L into a lesson.

But I'm happy for the newly engaged couple,

Zack and JWOWW.

- Good job, sidepiece.

- Good game. Good game, b*tch.

Even though that I didn't win the entire game,

I won the battle, okay?

I won the battle of the sidepieces.

I proved that I know Pauly better than the main piece.

That's all I wanted to do.

- You all were so much fun tonight.

Have a wonderful evening.

Enjoy your stay here in the Poconos.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat percussive music]

- Good night, guys. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night. Good night.

Good night.

- years and we lost the newlywed game.

- I don't know how it happened.

- I can see how that game would cause, like, fights, though.

- We lost.

- Okay, but we didn't lose by much.

- You got, like, three things wrong.

- That's nothing.

- We crushed it tonight, babe.

- They needed the win, I feel, more than us.

- You need to learn me a little bit better in that game, man.

- Why did you marry me? - Hold on.

[farts]

That's how you go to sleep with etiquette.

- Oh, [bleep]. - Good night.

- [bleep] married to you. - Good night.

[phone beeps]

Hello, this is your cleaning service calling

to let you know that your jacket has been dropped off

at the front of your building.

Thank you so much. Have a great night.

Bye-bye.

[upbeat music]

- It's only been two days that I haven't seen my jacket,

but it feels like an eternity.

Oh, [bleep]. - [laughs]

- Ohh, damn.

- My jacket.

I am so shocked.

I didn't think I was ever gonna see my jacket again.

I was expecting the dry cleaner to say, "I'm sorry.

We tried out best, but we had to put her down."

- I'm not seeing... it's all clean.

There's no more cheese.

Oh, my God!

It feels amazing.

I thought I lost her forever.

That disgusting chemical test-tube cheese

is relentless, but my jacket is back with me reunited,

and it feels so good.

Oh, my God, the jacket.

If this jacket arrived an hour earlier

it could have been my partner in The Bae Game.

You can sleep with me tonight.

- ♪ Come on and have some fun ♪

♪ Let's hang out all night long ♪

♪ I just want you to hold me ♪

- Oh, my God.

- Morning. - [laughs]

- ♪ Hold me close ♪

- Stop, too early.

- Ugh.

- This baby is, like, taking over.

- Babe! - What the [bleep]?

- Wake up.

- What do we want to do today?

- Outside stuff.

- We're gonna hang out with kids today.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

We're doing a kid day.

- Uncle BDS is in the building.

- No [indistinct]. - Ahh!

- Today is family day,

so we're gonna do a big day with the kids

and all my roommates.

And hopefully they can, you know, handle them.

- Ahh!

♪ Somebody's sleepy ♪

♪ Somebody's tired ♪

- [giggling]

- This might be practice for what is to come.

- It is definitely practice.

- Naptime, naptime.

- Ahh!

- Maybe we'll have to babysit them.

- Ahh!

- [laughs] - Stop.

- What do you think? - Yeah, definitely.

- What's up, bae? - Hey.

- Vinny has his new jacket on.

Let me see. [laughs]

- Get away from the food, Nikki.

- I'm gonna make the bed a little bit.

- Yeah, make the bed since you never do it at home.

- Let's get dressed.

- I'm about to get dressed.

I'm might wear a suit in the Poconos.

- Pauly, you're looking mad cute in the Poconos.

- Ooh, he's trying to sh**t in the Poconos.

- Oh, my God. What's that smell.

Did you just poot in the Poconos?

- Yeah, I did a little keto toot in the Poconos.

[laughter]

- On Daddy's leg. - [laughs]

- Put it on Daddy's leg.

- Oh, wait, what happened to my head thing?

- We're already mad late in the Poconos.

- You're a little lame in the Poconos.

- Hello.

- Oh, wow, look at you dressed like that.

- What's up, Cookie Monster?

I'm eating my cookies. Nom-nom-nom-nom.

- Oh, damn. - Hey, what's up?

- She looks like a bruised a*s[bleep].

- [laughs]

- Yeah, I know I look good.

You guys are all obsessed with me.

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

- Hey, Dee.

- So I just want to-- before Jenni gets down here,

her birthday was right before the trip.

- Mm-hmm. - So I think we should throw,

like, a birthday party since we're all together.

Jenni had a birthday right before the Poconos,

and we are never together for each other's birthdays.

So this is the perfect opportunity

to have a big birthday bash.

- She'll love that.

She'll be surprised.

- Mike, don't tell her.

- I'm not gonna say anything. - Are you sure about that?

- I'll be honest with you.

I am just food and beverage managers, and that's it.

- Okay. - Oh, my God.

Hi, guys. [together] Hi.

- Meilani. - What's up? What's up?

- Oh, my God. It's Meilanis.

It's Uncle Sitch.

Say hello to Uncle Sitcher.

- Shuttle are here.

It's family fun day.

- You guys excited?

- I wonder if I could even ice-skate?

- We're gonna find out.

It's on.

Technically right now I've dubbed myself

The Demonstration.

Oh, my goodness. - Can you pick him up?

- Because I'm going to be teaching the kids

how to ice-skate.

Big Daddy Sitch is out in the--oh!

- Honey, honey, be careful.

You know how to do it?

- Listen, this is a guido,

and I'm not in my natural habitat right now.

- Bend your knees a little.

No, no, not walking, bend.

Like, get down.

- Bend.

- Look at him. [laughter]

- Whoa, goodness gracious.

- [laughs]

- Whoa! - Oh!

- Honey.

- One of us is getting k*lled this trip.

- Not me. I don't like this.

- Oh, my God.

- Mike, you want a helmet?

- No, no, I'm all right.

- Babe, you only get three falls.

Whoa, whoa. [laughs]

Guidos on ice.

- I don't know if guidos and ice mix.

- Whoa, whoa.

- I mean, guidos and ice mix, but not this kind of ice.

- [indistinct]. - All right.

- Man down. Man down.

- One more fall you're coming out.

- Where the hell's Mike, guys?

Mike fell. I'm dying.

- There you go, Greg.

- ♪ Let's go ♪

- Man down. Man down.

Holy [bleep]. Mike may not be coordinated enough

to ice-skate right now.

Man down.

Come to think of it,

Mike's not too coordinated at all.

We saw him wrestle.

- Oh! - Hey!

- And unfortunately hits his head.

- Ahh!

- What the [bleep]?

- We saw him play basketball.

[laughter]

And now ice-skating is not it.

- Whoa!

- Ahh! Ow!

- Man down. Man down. I need a medic.

- I'm gonna go where no guido has gone before.

[grunts] - Ohh!

- Oh! Oh, my God!

- Honey. - Oh, God.

Whoa-h*-h*!

- Ohh!

- [grunts] - Ohh!

- Uh-oh! Mike's down. - Mike, damn, bro.

- Oh! - Here we go!

- Oh! Ooh, ooh.

[groans]

Sub me out.

I'm gonna take a break.

You know, I actually thought

that it was going to be easy

teaching these kids how to ice-skate.

- There you go, Meilani!

- But the demonstration is definitely failing,

and we're gonna have to pivot right now.

There's always room for a guacamole break.

You feel me?

♪ ♪

- Hold my hand.

- What? - Hold my hand.

- Twirl me.

Twirl me.

No, no, you're gonna make me fall.

- I'm twirling you. - Oh, my God.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. - So romantic.

Give me your hands. - Go--what are you gonna do?

- Both of them.

We're gonna spin around - No, Vinny.

- Like, a little easy. - Oh, my God. [laughs]

- Just try to glide.

[laughter]

- I can't spin like this.

- Point your stupid toes that way.

- Like this? - Yeah.

Angelina is as romantic as a colonoscopy.

Let it go, like--

- What do you mean let it go?

- Like you're--stop walking. Glide.

- Oh, sh**t. It's still hard, even with this thing.

- You're a professional now, Vinny, I forgot.

- [laughs] - We're gonna go sledding.

- I'll go sledding. - Do you wanna do sledding?

- Let's do sledding. - I don't do well

in the elements. - Then let's go inside.

- Maybe Big Daddy Sitch can help babysitting.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Big Daddy Sitch is officially

doing his homework right now,

spending some time in the play gym.

- It's gym time. Get the energy out.

- Ice-skating is way too dangerous,

Family fun day.

We are the forefathers of gym, tan, laundry.

I'm at the gym for, like, an hour and a half.

You know, I'm working on my fitness.

- Oh, my God! - Now, this right here

is an activity that Big Daddy Sitch can get behind.

- Do you have to take your shoes off?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- [laughs]

- [grunts] Ay, ya, ya.

Who's that--Vinny? Where the [bleep] are you, Vinny?

[adventurous music]

♪ ♪

[machine beeping]

- Look at that smile!

- Ready, buddy? - One, two, three!

- Whoa!

- Ohh! [laughter]

- Oh, my--[bleep]

- ♪ Can't stop us now ♪

- Ah, [bleep]. - [screaming]

Oh, my God!

All right, it's not that bad.

- Honey, are you ready for this?

- Really, in my life, I've always had, like,

a really big confidence,

but I think I'm a bit nervous to be a daddy,

to be honest with you. - If you weren't nervous,

it wouldn't be normal. - He's saying he's nervous.

- For what? both: To be a dad.

- That's normal.

Being a parent is not

a new chapter in your life,

it's a new book.

It is something that you're just

never gonna be prepared for.

Every day it's a challenge.

Every day it's something new.

- What's impressive is the amount of energy.

They don't ever get tired.

- For Mike to be scared

of the unknown,

that makes him, in my eyes,

already a good dad.

Because you should be scared.

You should be really [bleep] scared, just sayin'.

[laughs]

- I just wanna be the best dad that I can,

and I don't wanna, you know... - Well, you will be.

- Let myself down or, you know, my son, maybe.

- You're gonna be a great dad.

- You're gonna be an amazing, amazing father.

- Yep.

I'm excited, but nervous to be--

to be actually Big Daddy Sitch. - Yep.

I'll get you dialed in. [laughs]

- Yeah. - I'll get you dialed in.

- Yeah. - I think, uh--

I think everyone's rooting for us.

- I just got you, man.

- You got me?

- I'll get you.

- I'm gonna bring out the Angeliners board.

- What the hell?

Right now, Mike wants to bring up this FBI board.

Well, let's face it, no matter how we bring this up

to Angelina, she's gonna take it the wrong way.

- Operation Presentation is on its way.

- ♪ I got that honey ♪

- On your mark. Get set.

Go! [screaming]

- Oh, [bleep]. - Oh, no, no!

- Ohh!

- 'Cause you're a man. [laughs]

- Who the hell's on me?

- It's your wife. - Oh.

- All right, we're going home.

- Oh. Whoo. - Oh, that was fun.

- Yeah, that was fun. - You had fun today?

- ♪ Both hands in the air, hey ♪

- The biggest surprise would be, like,

getting Nicole here.

The biggest. - Do you think

Nicole would come?

- Being she already sat down with Angelina,

I feel like she would be willing now to come

and do, like, a night on the trip with us.

What's a party without my meatball?

Nicole isn't saying, "I'm not going

on trips with you guys,"

But I feel like I could use my meatball powers

and make this happen.

[phone line trilling]

- ♪ This is a party ♪

♪ ♪

- So I could just take them to the playground,

and just bring some, you know, chicken tendies with me

and let them tire themselves out.

- All day. - You know.

Speaking of tendies,

I wanted to see what you think.

I think that--

Listen, you know, the investigation never sleeps.

I think that it's right that we go full disclosures

and actually show Angelina her board.

- What the hell?

- Do you work for the feds? - I swear,

does everybody I know think that they're FBI agents?

[laughter]

- We've said everything out loud that's on her board.

- Yeah, the past couple days. - Yeah.

- Mike has a very addictive personality.

He used to be addicted to drugs.

Then he got addicted to food.

- Ohh! Gotta help yourself here.

- Now he's addicted to being The Investigation.

- They tried to keep up the façade.

The bloggers here seem to pick it up here.

And then out of nowhere around this time,

the videos popped up.

Full disclosures, you're part of the squad,

we were looking after-- we were looking out after you.

And the state's case has been dropped.

- I don't understand how that's gonna play out.

Mike is just not letting this go,

and I think some [bleep] gonna happen.

- It's finally ready for the reveal

of Angelina's presentation.

No matter how uncomfortable this process may be,

I have to seek out the truth, you know, no matter

where it's gonna lead.

It's a good plan. It's a good plan.

[phone line trilling]

- Hey, meatball. - Hi!

So you know how before we came on the trip,

it was Jenni's birthday? - Yes, of course.

- So I'm trying to plan a birthday party for her here.

So I was thinking maybe you come,

and you could surprise her.

- I mean, I am obsessed.

I'm fully down for that.

- Oh, my God. Yes. - I can't miss that.

I feel like that's such, like, a meatball thing

for us to do, I love it. - Yeah, and I think

she won't expect it. - And she would have no idea.

Let's do it. - Yay!

Meatball's comin'! - Eee!

- I think that we need to extract Chris.

We don't wanna disrespect their relationship.

- So we might need to do, like, a spouse dinner.

- That's the perfect plan right there.

- Yeah.

- Yeah. - So separate dinners?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Oh, my God. Do you wanna die?

Like, how is this a good idea?

- Roomies only final meeting.

Yeah. - Watch your feet.

- Oh, my goodness. - Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Maybe we have Greyson and Meilani pull Chris aside.

- Yeah. [laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I wanna figure out, like, a fun place in the resort

to do Jenni's birthday.

- What do you think? - I don't know.

So, I mean, there is the sports bar.

- Okay. - There was the stadium

where we had the wrestling.

- I like that place. - The seating,

we'll also do, like, a sit-down dinner.

We can, like, request big, round tables.

- I like that idea.

- Like a wedding. - Ooh.

Can I give her a speech?

- [gasps] - [gasps]

- Wait a second! - No, not a--

- This could be hysterical.

We'll get Vinny to help you with the speech.

- Oh, [bleep] my life.

- [laughs]

- At Mike and Lauren's he [bleep] sucked.

But for our redo wedding,

I'd say Vinny was actually pretty funny.

He loves speeches.

- Yeah, that could be hysterical.

Do you wanna take maybe a ride down to the stadium

and see? - All right, let's go.

- I love planning stuff.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Whoa, it's a movie when I pull up to the scene ♪

- All right, let's roll out.

Do you know where Meilanis is? - Nope.

- I haven't seen her anywhere.

Maybe Meilani's in here. - Nope.

- Come on, come on.

Please stop hitting. Meilani!

- ♪ And I'm the center of attention ♪

♪ And I do not need to mention ♪

- Ah! [grunting]

- I feel like this is the place.

- Oh, this is definitely the place.

- Oh, my God. Maybe we could have 'em say,

like, "Happy Birthday, JWOWW on the screens."

Hi, how are you? - Oh, perfect.

- I'm so good. How are you?

- Thank you so much for coming out.

So yeah, we want this to be, like,

the ultimate birthday party for our friend.

- Of course.

- I was thinking about a dance floor down here.

- Easy. - A lot of alcohol.

- Easy. - Rainbow everything.

- Of course. - More shots and more shots

and more shots. - You can have everything.

- Like we threw up rainbow. - Can go out one way

or the other way, whichever one you choose.

- And then-- - I'm gonna get her

and Zack drunk so they can make sexuals

on the dance floor here. - [laughs] They probably will.

- Not in front of the kids, though.

- Well, not in front of the kids.

- You know. - This is going to be

a birthday that Jenni will never forget

I saw you had, like, boardwalk games.

- We do have, like, a DJ booth over here.

- Oh. Oh, I'll have to ask Pauly.

This is gonna bring us right back to karma.

Thank you so much. - You're welcome.

- Thank you. Nice meeting you. I'm getting that b*tch

[bleep] up. - How do you want the bar?

- I don't care if I'm gonna have to sling

that [bleep] right down her throat if I have to.

- Yeah, she's gonna get her drunk.

- They're moving any [bleep] body.

Ahh, here's the real [bleep] right here.

♪ ♪

Ohh, [bleep]!

Mother[bleep]!

Ohh!

What? What the--

You don't care [bleep]--

Get the [bleep] back.

[bleep] [bleep].

♪ ♪

- That speech thing, it won't be about the speech.

It'll be, like-- - Nah, it'll be, like,

stay and get your a*s beat.

And remember stay and get your a*s beat?

But then I [bleep] stay and get your a*s in the pool.

All right, I got another one.

- Like, you could, like, do, like, a skit/speech.

- "SNL"? All right.

Vinny's gonna be like, "I don't think you can do it."

And I'm gonna be like, "[bleep] you. Move over.

b*tch, step up!" - All right. There we go.

- Don't worry, Jenni. You're gonna get your speech.

I got something.

- ♪ Yeah, pull up in a party and I'm on one ♪

♪ Ain't no women in it so I gotta call one ♪

- All right, let's go get ready.

- Okay.

- Take forever to get ready. - Mm-hmm.

- What up? Oh, damn, we got a little snack before the snack.

We about to have the final presentation.

It is finally time to show Angelina the FBI board.

We're going to call tonight Full Disclosures Night.

It's called receipts.

- So Mike was bored during quarantine,

and he turned into The Investigation.

But he's taking this too serious.

Like, bro, give it up. Move on.

- It's only right to go full disclosures

and show the board.

♪ ♪

[knock at door] - Come in.

- Hello? - Hi.

- Hey! - Ooh.

You're so skinny.

So tonight, we are doing separate dinners.

There's gonna be a roomie dinner,

and a significant other dinner.

- So it's you, me, Saffire, are the only girls, I guess?

- I think so.

- You don't feel good? - No, I'm not feeling

too good today. - Stomach hurts?

- Mm-hmm. - [kissing]

You want me to sit tonight out? - Yeah, please.

- Works out perfectly tonight,

'cause when I find out this is going down tonight

with Angelina, I'm like, I'm glad that Saffire

is not gonna be at dinner with us because

this could be trouble.

- What up, man? - Yeah. What up?

- Could I come in?

- Hey. - Hey.

- What are we doing?

- Talking about the plan. - Are we going through with it?

I don't know if we should open this can of worms.

Even though the board is light and in fun,

Angelina doesn't take that type of criticism well.

- We carefully orchestrated this plan.

I think we're gonna be successful.

I think she's gonna laugh tonight.

- Oh, Deena doesn't even know what's going on right now.

- Okay, so the roomies are getting together.

- Okay.

- And we're sitting down Angelina with the board.

- Wait, we're bringing the boards out?

Oh, my God.

You know, I'm not feeling good. [laughter]

- I think I need to go to bed. - Yeah, no, D's like

"I'm feelin' a little pregnant."

- Wait, why the boards now?

We have a huge birthday party to put together for Jenni.

I have Nicole coming.

Why do you wanna bring up the friggin' boards now?

- Only reason we're doing this is because

we were just commenting how we can't believe

that everyone has gotten so close on this vacation.

It's really cool to see the girls really vibing.

- So you wanna ruin it.

- Rip the family apart. - No! No!

- Got it. - It's like, yeah,

since everybody's getting along just perfect,

let's [bleep] it up. - Let's ruin it. Yeah.

- We're going full disclosures.

[adventurous music]

- Bumper cars! Ahh! Let's go in there.

Oh!

♪ ♪

Oh, oh, oh, yeah. All right.

♪ ♪

Ahh.

Oh, jeez! [laughs]

Oh, oh! Oh, oh.

Thank you for the ride, buddy.

- Yo, one thing is, how are we gonna get the board there?

You better go get the board. - She's coming with us?

- You better get it from your room now.

- Yeah. - All right.

Time for BDS to pull off

a covert operation and get these boards on the bus

safely so no one sees.

- ♪ Get it right ♪

♪ Get it I'ma keep it movin' ♪

♪ Throttle to the floor ♪

♪ They don't wanna see me ♪

♪ Check them haters ♪ - Bob, can you drop this off

at dinner for me?

I have the driver dropping off the board

way in advance so Angeliners doesn't notice a thing.

- All right, don't be an idiot, though.

I also have rules for tonight's dinner.

- Ooh.

- Make sure you always

defend your wife.

Make sure you always defend your wife.

Make sure you always

defend your wife.

[tense music]

- Operation Presentation is on its way.

[screaming]

- You guys didn't even say hi to me.

♪ ♪

Happy birthday!

Give me a [bleep] mimosa.

♪ ♪

- Yeah! - Oh!

[screaming] - Ohh!

♪ ♪

- Can I get a ride?

[all exclaim] - Oh, my God!

- Can someone pick me up?

I'm fine! - Okay.

[laughter] - Jenni, can I fart on you

'cause it's your birthday?

- Love you, Jenni. Too bad you can't Botox a personality.

[laughter]

- It's about to go down right now.

- Angelina, you're so embarrassing.

- Relax. - Oh, God.

- I'm sorry, but you treat him like dog [bleep].

- I'm right here, b*tch.

- Oh, my God!

♪ ♪

[all screaming]

- Oh! - [screaming]

- [yelping]

- We need a medic!

- Can't take these mother[bleep] anywhere.