04x16 - The Party's Back

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV ♪

- My sex life is dull [bleep].

- Having sex, just not with you.

- So they're getting a divorce.

- Oh, my God.

Angelina removed the Larangeira name from her bio.

- What is this?

Why are there pictures of Angelina and Chris up there?

- My new nickname is called The Investigation.

- Babe? - You look pretty.

I never really imagined what a woman for me

would look like...

I have an important question to ask you.

Until I met Nikki.

Will you accept this ring?

- Oh, my God. Are you serious?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ It's the mob ♪

♪ Yeah we reppin' ♪

♪ Yeah we checkin' ♪

♪ No disrespectin' ♪

♪ For the squad ♪

♪ By any means necessary ♪

- ♪ Necessary ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ Oh let's go ♪

- Oh, my goodness.

The streets are talking right now,

and I'm not even sure that Chris

and Angeliners are together.

I've tried to call, but she had really ghosted the squad.

I don't know. I tried to reach out.

She didn't answer me.

- I'm sure this girl is probably going

through her [bleep].

- Have you spoken to her? What's going on?

I haven't spoken to her.

- Yeah, no, not today.

- This call for The Investigation.

[siren wailing]

[radio chatter]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

There. Okay.

I wonder where my pointer is at.

- Hey. - Hi.

- What's going on? - How are you?

- I'm good. How are you? - Good.

- Now we're moving.

- Where's Mike? - Oh, my God.

You don't even wanna know what this guy's doing.

- Yes, I see what's happening here.

- He's down in the basement.

- We're motoring right now.

Oh, we have guests. - You have a visitor.

- Oh, what do you Hannibal Lecter?

- No. - What's going on over here?

- Actually, my new name is The Investigation.

Angeliners has been MIA.

- Right.

- And I'm starting to put together the scenario.

- Mike has been locked up in his basement like an FBI agent.

- I have thumbtacks.

- Okay. - I have post-its.

- It looks like literally the hunt for Osama bin Ladin.

You're trying to solve, like, what is happening with Angelina

and Chris' marriage?

- Pretty much.

And you made this FBI board. Are you bored, dude?

Like, you got other [bleep] going on? Like...

- Listen, technically... - Are okay?

- Technically, I'm a truth seeker.

- Are you okay? - I'm a truth seeker.

And I'm gonna need your help with the board here.

You're an expert when it comes to Angeliners.

- No, I'm really not. - I need you, my brother.

- Vinny has got a good mind.

- You're missing something here.

There was a major... - The speech, yes.

- Happened here.

- He'll be able to put a lot of these pieces

of the puzzle together.

- New butt was before wedding redo.

- Vinny right now is Watson...

- But where's the common denominator?

- To my Sherlock Holmes.

Oh, my God. I just made up a new name, Shore-lock Holmes.

- They tried to keep up the facade towards Christmas

and New Year's with a gift post,

but then she contradicted herself.

January th she said that,

"It's been only nine days into the new year,

and I've already learned a lot."

On to bigger and better things."

What is not bigger, and what is not better?

- Chris' [bleep]. - Maybe so.

- Yeah. - Okay, well...

- Damn, bro.

At one time the IRS was doing this about you.

- Most likely, most likely. Yes. Yeah.

- ♪ [indistinct] ♪

♪ Hot tamale ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh hi, beautiful. - Hi.

- So what do I owe this pleasure?

- I decided to call you, because...

I had a little tea for you.

- Ooh, I love tea.

- I know you do. - [laughs]

Angelina. - I know.

- You know how her social media was like, you know,

Chris was starting to follow all of us.

And then, like, she was, like, stop posting him.

I saw...

So it's, like, we all know there's a reason.

- Yeah.

- She's in a very similar situation as I was in

dealing with somebody that is so angry on the other side

and so bitter. Believe me, I know.

Oh, my God, this sounds familiar.

- Literally, I was like, "Oh, God."

- It hasn't even been a year.

Like, they always fight, and she belittles him a lot.

And then he, like, belittles her.

But I honestly always thought

that was just their relationship

and they were perfect for each other,

'cause it worked out, But I guess I was wrong.

And you know what's sad?

Like, besides us, like,

I feel like the girl doesn't have anybody,

like, you know, to, like, give her advice.

- [indistinct].

That's why we're so close as a family,

because we've both been through the same things.

- I don't know what she's going to do.

[melancholy music]

- ♪ Caught in a trance ♪

♪ But know that we belong ♪

- You are my best friend.

You have my heart.

Last year with Nikki, it's meant the world to me.

I realized that she was the one,

and sometimes you just can't look for it.

It's supposed to happen. And that's what happened.

I've an important question to ask you.

Will you... - [laughs]

- Accept this ring code?

- [laughs]

What is...what is this?

- The code to my ring security camera.

- I'm crying. - Is that a yes?

- Yes. - She said yes!

- ♪ Yeah ♪

[laughter]

- You're so stupid.

- [indistinct], is that a yes? - Yes.

- Yeah. [laughs]

You know what it means to have the ring code buzzer?

You get to see everybody that comes to the front door.

- Okay.

- I'm really looking forward to a future with Nikki,

because she laughs at my jokes.

If you girl could actually laugh at this,

that's a good sign.

Giving a girl a ring code is a huge step in a relationship.

Now she sees the world how I see it, through my doorbell.

[laughter]

- I'll keep it right here. - That's serious.

Whew, I was so nervous I've never done that before.

- You're so stupid. - I was so nervous.

Ahh, come with me.

- Ahh! [laughs]

Babe.

- Let's go celebrate the real way.

- Okay.

- ♪ I don't even know ♪

♪ I don't even know whose party to run with ♪

♪ I didn't even go ♪ - ♪ No ♪

- ♪ 'Cause I've been [indistinct] ♪

♪ In the sun and the moonlight ♪

- Hello. - Hey, it's Jenni.

Angelina called me earlier today with--

we've been going off the rails.

I could, like, barely understand her.

Something about Chris.

- What's happened now? - That's the thing.

Like, I couldn't get a straight answer,

and now she's not answering.

And I'm stuck doing homeschooling,

so I was wondering if you would be

the best neighbor ever and just check up on her.

[dramatic music]

- Duty calls. I will go over there.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Angeliner is really going through a lot right now.

All right. Love you, neighbor.

- Okay, love you too. - Bye.

I'm always there to support every single one of the squad.

It's happening. Duty calls, honey.

We're just like a really big family all of us.

We are behind her.

- Daddy's handling businesses. I love you.

- I love you too. Bye, honey.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ The shade you throw ♪

♪ Makes you look weak ♪

♪ It's gonna take your [indistinct] ♪

♪ If it's all your speak ♪

- What's happening? Hey. - Hey. How are you?

- How are you? Good to see you. Chilly out there.

- What a disaster.

- What do you mean? - A lot's going on.

- I just got here and there's a disaster already.

- Literally, I have to take all this down

and mad [bleep] going on.

- All right, all right, all right, first--

first things first-- - Let me--first,

let me take your jacket. - Yeah, let's take the coat.

- Let me take your jacket. - Let's put the coat away.

All right, let's go from there.

Angelina is all over the place,

but being so focused,

you cannot get nothing past me.

It looks like you're taking down the tree.

- Yeah, alone. - Alone?

The Investigation is in session.

[dramatic music]

- I come home one day, and Chris' stocking was gone.

- Stop it.

- No. - Chris moved out.

- Yeah, like, almost three weeks ago now.

- Stop it. - Mm-mm.

- Really? - Yep.

I'm, like, in this house alone.

- I can only imagine how stressful it is.

- I'm having a [bleep] nervous breakdown here.

That's just, like, something that I don't think anybody

should go through in their life, like, nobody.

- It's Mike's, like, five-year soberversary.

I wanted to see if we could do,

like, how family Zoom.

- I'd love to try and think of something else too.

- Mike, happy five years. - Whoo!

- Happy soberversary!

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I'm gonna [bleep] my pants.

all: Ohh!

[dramatic music]

- Ronnie went Instagram official with Saffire.

And that's why I'm going to prank his a*s.

- [laughs]

[phone rings]

- [indistinct] Ronnie.

[laughs]

- Every surface got to be disinfected.

No one thinks about

all the stuff that's on the bottom of our feet.

This was a very special gift from Angelina.

I want to show what Angelina got me,

but the kids have to leave.

- I knew you loved it.

- Oh, my gosh. - Wait, what?

- My new best friend

[phone rings]

- [indistinct] lasagna.

[laughs]

- k*lling COVID one [bleep] at a time.

- [indistinct] Ronnie.

[laughs] Very funny.

- Oh, I thought I had one kid.

Apparently have two. Amazing.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Wait a second. Chris moved out?

- Yeah, like, almost three weeks ago now.

- Stop it. - Mm-mm.

- Really? - Yep.

We got into a fight, and he moved in with his mother,

and it's been a few weeks now.

First and foremost, I'm sorry that you're going through this.

- Thank you. Chris leaving and taking down his stocking,

ripping up "Merry Christmas to my wife" card,

he wanted me to see that card ripped up.

Chris wanted me to see that stocking gone.

Chris wanted me to see all his clothes gone.

I mean, for him to do that to me over a fight

just is not fair, you know?

- I thought you guys were doing therapy.

- So I asked him to go to therapy,

and his response to me was always, "You need therapy."

- Oh, damn. You both should've called me,

and I would have told you that therapy is a good thing...

- It's a win. - For both of you guys.

- Yep. - Sometimes you need someone

to give you different ways of thinking,

and that's a lot of the time what therapy does,

which most people don't,

you know, they have a different idea about it.

I think on the East Coast, men think that going to therapy

is an action of the weak, actually.

But therapy can only help.

I mean, listen, Tony Soprano went to therapy.

Big Daddy Sitch went to therapy; I'm k*lling the game.

I don't wanna be too invasive,

but sex life?

- We've been down this road before.

- Non-existent.

- Yeah. - Wow, that's bad.

- Yeah, also, I had to hire a lawyer.

- Stop it.

- No, because, you know, [bleep] hitting the fan,

and I didn't want to have to hire a lawyer,

but I felt like I needed to--

- To protect yourself.

- I definitely do feel like sometimes the world crashes

down on me a little too much.

He hired a lawyer.

- Ugh, what a mess. - He blocked me.

He won't talk to me.

- This is a lot to take in. I think we got to sit down.

They both have lawyers, and they're headed

for divorce right now. This is not a good situation.

First of all, you shouldn't...

- I don't know what we're doing.

- Even be in a relationship where somebody

moves out of the house.

- I know.

- That is crossing the line, number one.

I mean, I've never even slept on the couch.

- Like, sometimes he would sleep on the couch.

- You can't even let things stray like that,

because it will go from the couch out the door.

- Well, it did. - Exactly.

- So here we are.

- You need to also have standards

for how to be treated.

You might have to give him an ultimatum.

"This is unacceptable. We're husband and wife."

If you want to work on this, you will come home.

You need to make a stand,

and you need to teach people how to treat you.

Well, we'll help you get through this.

- I appreciate you, like, being here,

like, it's terrible. - Yeah.

Listen, when you go through some tough life events

like this, it's definitely very scary,

because I know you can feel alone.

- I'm, like, in this house alone.

Abandonment issues is a big thing for me

considering my father.

And I'm, like...oh, my God, I'm going to cry,

'cause my father...

so yeah, I get upset, because my father,

he, like, abandoned me when I was a kid.

Even still to this day my father is not in my life.

He wasn't at my wedding. He doesn't care about me.

What [bleep] did I do? Like--

- No, I know. - So for me,

Chris abandoning me is like making me feel like that.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Ain't nothin like hip-hop music ♪

♪ You like it 'cause you choose it ♪

- Whoa, you are so good.

- ♪ Ain't nothing like hip-hop music ♪

- Okay, okay. Hi. - Hi.

- How are you feeling? - I'm good.

- I love spending time with Lauren.

I love having a pregnant buddy,

and I love girl time.

How are you feeling? - Good.

- [inaudible] - Oh.

- [laughs]

- Are you thanking all the fans for coming out?

- Are you ready?

- Are you ready? Are you ready....

- I am. - For the silence to be gone?

- I can't wait to meet him and see who he looks like.

I feel like you have the same pregnancy I did with T.

- How long were you in delivery for?

- In delivery I only--

I only pushed for, like, -something minutes.

- Oh. - I was quick, but my--

the hemorrhoids were terrible at the point that the doctors,

they saw them and they said, "Okay, listen,

if they don't go down, we might have to cut them."

But luckily they went down by themself.

I couldn't even sit.

- Oh, my God.

- Yeah, my hemorrhoids were terrible.

- Oh, lovely. - All right, never mind.

- Oh, I am just so happy for Mike and Lauren.

Every time I think about it, I just get choked up

because, like, oh, a baby is such a blessing,

and they're going to be such amazing parents.

This year everyone seems like they're in good--

on a good path. - Yeah.

- You and Mike are having the baby.

We're having the baby. Pauly and Nikki seem like

they're in, like, such a good place.

- And Jenni and Zack, they are good.

- Yeah, they're in good place. - They're doing good.

Do you think she'll get married again?

- I don't think so. - No?

- I don't know, but honestly I feel like Angelina and Chris,

they seem to be like not okay. I feel bad.

- I feel bad too. Like, that--

nobody wants to go through that.

- No, no.

- My stress level is through [bleep] the roof

and I think he's laughing.

I think he's sitting there laughing

trying to [bleep] ruin my life,

ruin my name, and I don't know what he's doing.

I really don't, but it's sad; it really is sad.

My whole life I couldn't trust anybody,

so that's why I was raised to not trust anybody.

I mean, do I even wanna take him back,

'cause he would leave like this?

Like, I don't even know anymore.

And then, like, a lot of people are like,

"Well, why are you the way you are?"

But I think it's because of that.

I do.

It's like I don't even know anybody anymore.

To me, I thought he was gonna be the greatest husband.

Like, you know, he was never going to try to do this to me.

- Yeah.

- ♪ Till death do us part ♪

- Chris, this is what Angelina said about you.

"Christopher is my best friend."

- I was very hesitant with men in my life

and choosing guys that were kind of like my father.

Chris is not like my father at all.

- "He makes me laugh because he's so goofy."

- ♪ I do take you ♪

- It's my greatest joy as a priest

to now declare you both husband and wife.

Chris you may kiss... [cheers and applause]

- Holy [bleep]; I'm having a [bleep] nervous

breakdown here. Chris was the first guy

in my life that didn't abandon me

and made me feel like he would never do that to me.

So for him to do this to me right now,

like, that's just, like, something

that I don't think anybody should go through

in their life, like, nobody.

- It's not easy to talk about this stuff.

We don't know what the future's going to look like,

but here's the good news.

When one of the family members in our group

has an issue, we all come together.

You got a good squad to help you out.

- ♪ You and I together we take a good thing ♪

♪ We make it better ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

- Hi, beautiful.

- How are you? - Good.

- So you know it's Mike's, like, five-year soberversary.

- Yes, weren't we supposed to do,

like, a big party for him?

- Yeah, but because of COVID,

it's just-- it's not in the cards.

- Yeah. - So I wanted to see

if we could do, like, a family Zoom

because I know it will mean, like, the world to him

to be able to see you guys and celebrate it with him.

'Cause it's such a huge milestone.

- Huge.

Mike made it five years.

This is an incredible accomplishment for anyone.

It has to be big.

- Can we, like, set off fireworks?

- I don't know how to do that.

- Me either.

- ♪ Yeah let's go, uh ♪

♪ I'm proof, I'm progress, I'm motion ♪

- ♪ Motion ♪ - I'm live, I'm ready ♪

♪ I'm focused ♪

- I'm coming up on five years clean and sober.

I work in multiple rehabs to speak and to help others

that are also struggling from addiction.

I believe that my story is a very celebrated story

that people can refer to that if Mike can do it,

then I can too, and that's--

that's the most important thing.

- So thank you so much for joining us today.

- Thank you so much for inviting me.

- Of course. - I wear my sobriety

on my chest like a badge of honor,

because anyone that knows anything about sobriety,

we are warriors, you know.

It's not easy to walk on that road

that is less traveled, but it's so worth it.

The best view will come from the hardest time.

And don't ever forget that, guys.

- The Zoom is perfect,

but I'd love to try and think of something else too.

- I know. Me too. - I love hearing

how excited Jenni is to make this special for Mike.

- I will put my thinking cap on.

- All right.

His relationship with Jenni went from nothing

to such a close sibling relationship.

He really rebuilt every relationship in his life.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Since we are not going

to be able to see you on the official day...

- Oh my gosh, stop. - We decided to...

- Stop it. Stop it. - To get you this.

- Stop it. Oh, my God.

- Congratulations, Mike, on five years sober.

You know, we just wanna say here at Banyan

and myself personally, we are so proud of the work

that you've been doing and you know,

the fact that you share your story the way that you do.

You've helped thousands of people

find their path to recovery.

You really are such an inspiration.

We just thank you so much, so...

- Thank you so much. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

My five years clean and sober

it's a monster milestone in my community and in general.

- Come on in. - Oh, my God.

This is just an amazing day.

This is what happens when you turn one day at a time

to one week at a time to one month at a time

to one year at a time to now five years clean and sober.

All right. Here's the five years, guys.

Love you guys. Peace.

- Five years is huge.

- I did see this one thing, which is, like, super corny.

During COVID,

you know when the kids were, like, graduating,

they were putting, like, decorations and,

like, painting their cars and, like,

- And doing dry-bys - Rolling up

and doing drive-bys? - Yeah.

I wonder if I could get the roommates to do, like,

a drive-by, but, like, a hardcore one.

- And decorate a little bit.

- No, like, not a little bit, like, a lot of bit.

- A lot of bit. - Hello?

- Hi, Dee. - Hi.

- Hi, Vinny. - Is this is an accident?

- [laughs]

- Because you're on the West Coast,

I know you can't travel,

but I was wondering if you'd be open to sending me a video.

- Absolutely. I would love to.

- We are doing this sober, like, drive-by party

for Mike's five-year.

- It sucks that we can't be there.

I definitely want to be there, you know.

- I know. - Oh, my God.

I would frickin' love it.

- For this monumental moment, I'll definitely partake.

- This is a super long shot, but I'm going to call Nicole

and invite Nicole to the soberversary parade,

even though I know she most likely won't come.

- Please leave your message for...

- ♪ Keep walking, keep walking ♪

- Neh!

- ♪ Don't run, don't run away ♪

- ♪ Dawg, now who that dude? ♪

♪ I'm the man with a plan, not a two-man crew ♪

- Oh, my goodness. Pauly is calling.

Yo, what up, brother? - Bro, did you see

what's going down right now on the 'Gram?

- I was over there the other day.

- She said he moved out, like, three weeks ago.

- Oh, no.

She's like, "To be honest with you,

I'm headed for divorce."

- Oh, my God, the D word.

- There could be a silver lining out of this.

Keto Guido is still on the market.

There might be a chance for him.

- Yeah, he'll be that guy. - Exactly.

[laughs]

- ♪ Come light it up, I'm a warrior ♪

♪ Boots on the ground, I'm a warrior ♪

♪ Do you feel, do you feel the ground trembling? ♪

♪ This is it, this is it ♪

♪ It's the reckoning ♪

- Damn, this snow is no joke.

It's freezing.

What's up?

- Why are you so done up to work out?

- I don't wanna work out. I don't like [bleep].

- Well, do you want to get out some aggression?

- I mean, is that what you do it for or...

- Yes, and then drink heavily.

- I don't think Angelina has actually ever worked out,

but I do know she's got built-up anger, and, like,

she's, like, suppressing some [bleep].

So maybe I could get her to box it out a little bit.

Whatever makes her feel better.

- So what's going on in life? Where are you?

- I'm, like, getting better as, like, the time goes on.

At first, I was a frickin' hot mess.

- Are you still angry? 'Cause I know you were angry.

- Um... - So I was gonna say,

if you're angry... - I was a little bit angry.

Yeah, I go through my things.

I go through being angry and then being all right.

And then I found out that Chris went to a bar and he was,

you know, hanging out with some [bleep] girl.

- Oh, my God. - Can you imagine?

It's, like, well, yeah, a -year-old,

and my guy friend Chuckie was there.

You know my best guy friend Chuckie?

- Yeah.

- My best friend Chuckie wound up seeing Chris

at the bar with two of his guy friends

and two girls over at the table.

There was three guys-- three guys and two girls.

And then they all left together.

And then, you know,

hours and minutes in a hotel room, um--

- How did you clock that? Look at you, just be honest.

- Tracked his car.

- [laughs]

- I'm an investigator.

- First off, I want to know what GPS

you're using, and how do I get one?

- I'll show you the Amazon link.

- Oh, yeah. I walked right out with my girl Stacy, slap,

and I walked right away. I'm like...doop.

- Angelina installed a tracking system

on her husband's vehicle.

Welcome to the world of divorce.

- I didn't even-- - But didn't he ask you,

like, "How [bleep] do you know I'm here?"

You can't just say, "You're were at

a [bleep] hotel [bleep]."

- Oh, no. I said that. - Stop.

- Yeah, he said nothing happened in the room.

I called the hotel.

- You're like, "Is Christopher Laryngitis there?"

- Yeah, and like, "We're not supposed to be

"telling you this, but because we're really, really, really

are big fans of yours..."

- Shut the [bleep] up. - "We're gonna tell you."

- Any guy in a hotel is already assumed guilty.

- There's nothing you can say.

- ♪ Two bad brahs lookin' like doin' all right ♪

♪ Ah baby tell me is all right ♪

♪ My squad [indistinct] ♪

- Hey, look who it is.

- What up, buddy? - What up, man?

- Look at you. - How you doing, man?

- Nice to see you, buddy. - Nice hair.

What's going on? - There's so much tea.

Do you know what's going on with Angelina right now?

I just came out here to drop off Ariana.

- You came at the perfect time.

You came in the middle of the tea.

- Her and Chris got divorced already?

- Apparently, he's been out of the house for weeks

and Mike said, they're talking about D word possibly.

Chris also posted "keep moving forward." Whatever, it's like--

- It's like little signs. - Yeah. Yeah.

- And the last, what was it, a couple months,

the hamster thing, the hamster tattoo?

- Yeah. Camera and a tattoo, and he just got a new car.

Chris just posted that he bought a brand-new Cadillac.

That's Guido code for "I am single, ladies. What's up?"

- Did you get that request

for the video for Mike? Did you do it?

- No, no, no, let's do it right now.

Even though Ryan and I we can't be on the East Coast

right now for a soberversary,

Jenni has this idea that we should send a video for Mike.

Mike, my brother, we're so proud of you.

I think that's a great idea. But I'm about to take it up

a notch, and I'm talking larger than life.

- Love you, my dude. - All good, man.

We should do this for a living.

- ♪ How are you feeling? - ♪ Great man ♪

♪ I'm feeling good ♪

- Oh, my God.

Is this what you did to Mike when you [indistinct] him?

Like...

- Punch. There you go.

Yes, see?

Picture the girl, -year-old in a hotel.

- [bleep] blonde.

- Pretend it's Chris' face.

I wish I printed his face. I wish I printed over--

- My God, can you do that?

- I definitely lot of parallels and similarities

with Angelina's situation and my own.

The best thing to say to someone is that

you'll be there for them.

All right, warm up or something.

I'm gonna grab your picture.

- Is that a sauna? - Yes.

- Get the [bleep] out.

- Jenni's setup in her house is so cool.

- Oh, I don't know if I wanna sit on this thing.

I think Zack's ba*ls were on it or something.

There's more? Vinny?

- Got tape right here.

- Oh, my Lord, I love this. Is that Zack?

Don't look that way.

- Okay girl, about your husband,

do you think you can forgive him, like honestly, though?

- He never takes accountability for his actions.

He's saying that nothing happened.

He said that he literally slept on one bed with his guy friend,

and then those two girls slept on the other bed.

- Come on. We're not .

- Jenni right now is good to have.

It's so crazy how a year ago

we were at each other's throats

hating each other, never wanna talk to each other again.

Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah, girl.

And now I'm asking her advice

about what I should do next with Chris.

[bleep] irony. I can't.

- Oh, God, yes. Let it out. - [bleep] out of here.

This is what you get. Chris, getting your [bleep]

by a -year-old.

[bleep].

- See?

- ♪ 'Cause you're dead to me, catch a cab b*tch ♪

- ♪ I got a long reach ♪

♪ Extendo ♪

♪ We about to blow ♪

♪ Nintendo ♪

- First shot of the day.

Yeah.

- [indistinct].

- Hey, how's it going?

We're having a five-year soberversary party

for my best friend Mike The Situation.

You might've heard of him. So if you can get him

the usual, 'cause I know he orders from you guys,

but I need a whole truckload of it.

Five years is a huge milestone.

If I can't be there physically,

I'm gonna make sure my presence is there.

Dou you have keto options, actually?

- Oh, no. Who's this guy?

You're friends with him? That's terrible.

- Unfortunately, I married him.

- ♪ Mailbox money, waitin' on checks ♪

♪ [indistinct] but I ain't gonna flex ♪

♪ Up all night so it ain't no risk ♪

♪ A lot of hard work but it ain't no sweat ♪

- ♪ It's hard work, it's hard work ♪

- Yo. - Happy soberversary.

- Oh, damn, man, my dude. What's up?

Thank you so much. - I was wanting to call you

and say congratulations.

I'm proud of you.

And I'm sorry that we couldn't really get together

and do anything, you know?

This is going to be fun. Mike has no idea.

We're going to show up at his house

and throw him a sick parade.

- All right, brother. Thank you so much

for the phone call. - All right, so...

- Yeah, I'll see you sometime--I don't know--

like, in the next-- I don't know--

maybe, who knows, next month or something.

- All right, good deal. All right, bye.

- Peace.

- ♪ I didn't want to let the ball drop ♪

♪ But it's over where the fool stops ♪

- I want our car to look the best.

- It's gonna look the best.

- Babe. - Babe.

- Hi. What are you doing?

- I just finished loading all the balloons and party stuff.

- Are we waiting for everyone, and then we'll decorate?

Everyone's coming over for decorations.

- Oh, perfect.

- Oh, it's Deena and Chris

- I want them to be like, "Oh, wow,

Deena and Chris' car looks..."

- Yeah, like, we've done this-- "they've done this before."

- Like be like, "Deena's car looks the best."

- Hey, is Vinny and Angelina coming?

- What? I know Vinny's definitely coming.

I texted Angelina. She didn't text me back.

- Is Vinny actually even going to decorate

is the question? - I don't know.

- I bet he puts, like, one balloon on the top of his car.

- He'll be like, "Hey, Mike. I'm here."

- ♪ Girl you can [indistinct] ♪

♪ Work it and take your time ♪

- ♪ Just take your time ♪

- ♪ Bring it back ♪

- Come on up here. - Can I get up there?

Oh, you're the spoiled man.

- It's family day today.

- We're really hyped up today,

'cause he knows it's a special day for his daddy.

- He said he got me tons of presents.

- I think they're all edible, though.

- Funfettis. - Yes.

- Yes. Oh, my God, he's ready. - Are you ready?

- He's gonna cook. He's gonna help cook.

- Are you gonna lead the way?

- He is. - Let's go, Moses.

- This five-year sober anniversary is not just for me.

It is for my wife.

She has taken this journey with me.

- The big, momentous occasion in our household, honey.

- [indistinct.

- Oh, Vinny's here. - Hi, Vin.

- Give him the finger. - [laughs]

- As a decorator, I would not say I'm very good at it.

- All right, let's get this [bleep] over with.

- Oh, my God, Grumpy.

- Oh, my God. You are the worst.

Can you grab me the cupcake holder things?

They're in the pantry.

- Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, honey.

- I'm so excited the roomies are coming over

and putting this surprise together for Mike.

I think we're gonna do a fun little Zoom.

- Oh, that's cool. All right. - With the roomies.

Good. I get to also see the family, the squad.

- He's not good at keeping secrets,

but I am, and I think the look on his face will just be

so worth it in the end.

You never made cupcakers before?

- I'm not a baker. I'm a candlestick maker.

- Deena, tell me where to sign.

- So write "happy soberversary."

Here, D, hold your sign and hold my sign.

- You see anything different? - Did I spell it wrong?

Oh, I spelled it with an "A" instead of...

- Soberversary.

Happy soberversary. - I hate you.

You gonna make me pee.

He's such a brat.

- I'm actually taking a picture of this one.

- Stop.

She's gonna pee. She's gonna pee.

- Who is that?

- Is that a petting zoo? - What?

all: Ohh!

- ♪ [indistinct] ♪

♪ Way your body move got me [indistinct] ♪

- So how do you feel now that you're five years sober?

- I kind of feel like my coffee mug right now.

- Ooh. - Yes, mm-hmm, that's right.

- Yeah, Mike's sober journey really wasn't just his.

We met years ago

and I've seen him through all the highs and lows.

His journey was really us doing it together

because we had to find a way to rebuild our relationship

from the beginning to where it is now.

You gonna tear up? I think you are.

- Yeah, I might, because it really was hard work.

- It is hard work, and it's hard work every day.

- And also the best chapter is coming up, Baby Situation.

- Who would have thought ten years ago

that he'd be five years sober now.

- Seriously, who would have thought?

Now he's going to be a daddy. - Yeah.

- It is crazy to think about who Mike was back in the day.

- Who's going to be the bad guy?

- Situation. No problem.

- Sometimes I think about it, and I'm like,

"Was that even the same person?

Like, how can one go through such a transformation?"

- I think Italy might've been one of the worst.

- He was so whacked out of his mind.

Italy was bad.

- Yeah. I think me and him got into a fight.

I threw a spatula at him.

- I don't like you. - I don't like you either.

- Be a woman! Do something!

- Shut the [bleep].

- Nicole threw the wine bottles.

It's like "The Matrix."

I don't know how he didn't get hit.

- [bleep] you.

[bleep] you.

[bleep] you, Mike.

Mike, I'm not kidding.

- Yeah, there were, like, years that I did not

even speak to Mike at all.

Like, I would always speak-- - Oh, I didn't either.

- He was just, like, ghosted, like, MIA.

- Once we saw he was sober,

he started reaching out to us again.

Now, like, all of us have the best relationship with him.

- Yeah. Well, he works on that. Like, he makes sure

he has a good relationship with everybody.

- I should try that. - And it's--yeah, no, me too.

- Same. - No, I'm a douchebag.

- Same.

- This is such a huge milestone,

because you get to see the growth of someone.

It makes me regret backfisting him a little bit.

- Get the [bleep]. Gonna punch me in the face?

both: Oh. - Listen, we needed

the backfist to get to where we are today.

- That's it. - Ahh,

just got to laugh about it.

There's a lot of things we can laugh about now.

- I don't even think I can compare myself

to who I was five years ago or ten years ago.

And I feel that we're doing everything the right way

and to the best of our ability.

- You are, honey. I'm very proud of you.

- Are we all done? - Yeah.

- Yeah, now we drive over there.

- How did we finish before Angelina even got here?

- Wait, is Angelina coming?

- I'll call her, because we finished

before she even [bleep] got out of the shower.

- We are done decorating our vehicles and still no Angelina.

Like, we're going to leave without you, girl.

- Hi.

- b*tch, you're two hours late.

- So do I. I got in there. Our cars are done.

- She has children.

- I have children and five animals.

- We have kids. You're two hours late, Angelina.

- Yeah, he's six years sober at this point.

- You [bleep] all over your house too,

'cause you are a [bleep] animal.

You [bleep] animal [bleep]. - Oh, my God.

You're so [bleep]. - [bleep] you, you [bleep].

This is typical Angelina [bleep].

How many hours does it take to feed your pets?

If you have cats.

You just leave a little food in the bowl.

Are you really coming here? Where are you?

- She can do her own.

- We'll--we'll wait for you. - No.

- All right.

- We're not really gonna wait for her. Goodbye.

- Oh, okay.

- If Angelina doesn't show up right now,

we're going to be late to our own parade.

- We're losing balloons. We're losing daylight.

- The sun is gonna go down soon.

- I am so excited to go over to Mike's right now.

- I think ours looks the best. - No, but cute.

- Yes. - No.

- Aww, ehh. - Ehh.

But at the same time, I just wish the whole family

could be there for such a huge milestone.

We need to leave.

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- It's happening.

So I'm going to Mike's right now.

He has no idea about the surprise party,

let alone my little old self coming.

And the roomies, none of them have an idea that I'm coming.

It's going to be a [bleep] show.

Let's get this [bleep] started.

- ♪ This is everything ♪

♪ This is everything ♪

[dramatic music]

- ♪ Come and get me ♪

- so does somebody want to call just make sure

she's close? - Oh, [bleep].

- [bleep] Vinny, man.

- I want to throw eggs at it.

- Oh, my God. - All right.

- ♪ A-wha-oh ♪

- What, Vinny? - Thanks for coming.

I really appreciate it. - So happy you finally made it.

We need to get some Mike's for Mike's soberversary.

We've been calling Angelina all day.

We're just gonna put something on your car.

- That's it? - That's it.

We got to go, like, throw something on your car.

We need to get there. - It's go. Let's go.

- That's the way you get for being two hours late.

- You're the worst, man. - Get in the car.

- I'm late, but I wanna put something on my car.

[bleep] this I'm not gonna do nothing on my car.

[bleep] that [bleep].

- This b*tch showed up three hours late.

- Decorate it up. - The car looks good.

- [bleep] it. - Soberversary here we go.

- [indistinct], what's happening?

- Hello. - Hi, Sorrentinos.

- Hi. - Hey, what's up, guys?

We're celebrating five years clean and sober.

We got the cupcakes.

My wife, she's the best.

It's really cool that she was able to set up

a Zoom call with the roomies.

They have been with me the whole step of the way.

And I'm grateful just to see them.

- Where's everybody else? Where's Deeners?

- I don't know; I gave them all the same time.

So they should be here any second on the Zoom.

- Slow and steady, babe.

- Slow and steady.

- Babe. - Oh, no.

- Oh, they lost the five.

- Oh, [bleep].

Debris is just frickin' flying everywhere.

- Ohh.

- We're gonna have no decorations.

[gasps] What was that?

both: Oh, my God.

- I'm actually happy right now that I didn't put

too much on my car. - My sign got ripped in half.

- And they lost streamers.

- Now [bleep] Angelina's car is better than ours.

- Wow, I can't.

- Honey, do you have my phone? Do you wanna text

the squad to see where they're at?

I don't even know where my phone is right now.

- I don't where any of the girls are.

I'm starting to get a little bit worried.

Hold on. I'm going to text them and see where they are.

[horn honking]

- Happy five years.

- Mike, happy five years.

- Whoo!

[all shouting]

- Whoo!

- Mike!

- One second, guys. One second.

- Where is this guy?

- [indistinct].

- Mosey, what's happening out there?

- Happy soberversary.!

- Oh, my goodness. Who is that?

- Happy soberversary, bro.

- Yay!

- All right, all right, we're coming.

- We're gonna get a [indistinct].

- Happy soberversary.

- [indistinct].

- I mean, you can tell a lot by man

by the people that support him and as you can tell,

you know, I have a big family.

You guys are-- you guys are the best.

- We definitely got him.

I'm so filled with emotion

that everybody was able to make this so special.

- Become better, not bitter.

- I just see Mike's smile beaming,

and it means, like, the world to both of us.

- Oh, my God. - Ohh!

- What the hell? - Oh, my God.

- They're on a giant screen.

- Yo, Pauly's hair looks dope.

DJ Pauly D in the building with Ronnie.

- Do they see us?

- They're here, but they're not here.

And I'm, like, this is pretty cool.

- Mike, what's up, bro? How you doing?

- Mike, my brother, we're so proud of you.

- We miss you, and we're so, so proud of you, bro.

- Happy soberversary, man. Five years, that's a big deal.

- You're such an inspiration to all of us.

- We're so sad we couldn't be out there

to celebrate with you, but we got something

that you might like even better than us.

- We got you...

both: The foods!

- Whoa, what's that?

- What the hell is that?

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Look at that. - Oh my gosh.

- Whoo!

- Pizza!

- You have any cauliflower crust?

- Take a photo.

- This sign was written by Deena.

- Oh, my God. - Sobervesary.

- Happy sobervesary.

- Leave me alone.

- I would have been happy with funfetti cupcakes.

But for my wife and the squad to really organize this

and really rally around me...

- Now we have to do a photo of everybody.

- Okay. - It just can't get

no better than that.

This is awesome.

Yay.

- All right, it's happening.

I'm about to pull up to Mike's house.

Let's do it.

Ooh, I'm scared.

- I don't want to be next to Angelina.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I'm gonna [bleep] my pants.

[horn honking]

- Uh-oh, what's next?

- I'm hiding, but I'm gonna crash.

- Who is that?

- Is that a petting zoo?

- What?

all: Ohh!

- [bleep]. - Nicole.

- Ahh! - Oh, my...

- [bleep].

[all shouting]

- Oh, my God.

- The party is [bleep] here.

[indistinct].

Thank you for coming up.

- He's crying. He's crying.

- I'm literally hysterically crying,

because I did not think this moment would happen ever.

Oh.

- Oh, my God. Can I have your autograph?

- I'm dead.

- Party's here. [cheers and applause]

- It's an alert.

- What is it?

- Angeliners with a supposed side boo.

- No way.

- There is security footage

of you entering some gentleman's house.

- Who's telling you this [bleep?

- I think I just got the video.