03x08 - Millennials

[bunniefuu]

- I wanted to invite you to meet some of my roomies.

- Yep. Let's do it. Oh, my gosh.

- Ronnie's gonna [bleep] lose his mind.

I gotta go catch a flight.

- Jenn's making it like you were off your sobriety.

- "Totally get your [bleep] from the house

and, like, we're done," And that was it.

- Hi, Mom. all: Hi.

- There's my family. What's up, Roger?

- Oh, wow. - No.

- Oh, my God. Sorry.

- I'm so sorry. I'm so...

- ♪ Get crazy, get wild ♪

♪ Let's party, get loud ♪ - Yeah, buddy!

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something ♪

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- This might not have been the best idea.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- ♪ If you wanna have fun, then do something crazy ♪

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- You miss your baby. I know that.

[knocking]

- Who's that?

- Room service.

- Oh, boy. - Uncle Nino!

- Where's my fam? There's my family.

- Hi. - Hi, baby.

- Hi. What's up, Roger?

- Oh, wow. - No!

- My man Roger. - He said, "What's up, Roger?"

- What the [bleep]?

- Oh, my God. - This is Zack.

His name is Zack. - Hi, Zack.

- He knows. He knows. - Zack.

- I'm so sorry. - Sorry, guys.

- Hey, , meet .

- Oh, my God. Uncle Nino strikes again.

- Leave it to Uncle Nino to always point out

the elephant in the room.

I feel embarrassed every time Uncle Nino

has to meet a new person in society.

- Oh, my God.

- He never--he never fails.

- Never fails. - Nino.

- [bleep] as big as Roger. [bleep].

- Stop saying "Roger." - Roger two.

He's as big as Roger. He looks like Roger.

- We've met--no. He doesn't look nothing like him.

- No.

Just the-- - Nothing like him.

- So did you like your big debut yesterday?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

- What'd he do? - He came out onstage

at the end in a Speedo.

- In a Speedo. - Nino in a Speedo.

- And a cane. - Butt-a*s naked.

[cheers and applause]

- Ahh!

- They were so handsome, those guys.

- Oh, yeah. - Hey.

- Oh, Ma. - No, no. I--see? She agrees.

- Yes, Mom. - I look at them like my boys.

You know what I mean? And I thought they were--

- My twin brother and-- - Beautiful.

No. You didn't look like them.

- "You didn't look like them." - You didn't look like them.

- An older version, an older version.

- I'm chunky there.

They look like me years ago.

- Right, right. - I was that same shape.

I was in the same shape. - I'm sure you were. Yeah.

You've come a long way, baby. - Yeah, more or less.

- Yes.

- Well, you guys got a flight to catch...

- Yeah. - So we'll let you go.

- Come give me a hug, Roger. - Such an a*s[bleep].

- I love you. Bye, and I love you.

- Love you. - Come on.

- Yeah. I'll deal with you later.

- Oh, Roger, my baby. - Oh, my God.

You're such an a*s. He's the worst.

- I'm definitely happy that he showed up,

but gotta get out of here.

We love you. Bye.

- Bye. - Gonna miss you.

- You see too--why are you calling that guy Roger?

- I love you. Love you guys. Love you.

- Maybe I'll leave him here then.

What do you think? - Oh, yeah. I would love that.

- There for a couple of days.

He's gonna do your Chippendales. Yeah.

- I'll do the--I'll be the host for Chippendales.

- Right. - Anyway, we're gonna

say good-bye. - We're gonna say good-bye.

It was worth--

We're on separate flights, right?

- Yes, yes, yes. - Thank God.

- Thank God for that.

- Sorry about Uncle Nino. He's a pain in my a*s.

- Oh, it doesn't bother me.

- Are you coming with us?

- No. I'm gonna go home and get the baby.

- Okay. - Since I "don't see the baby,"

you know.

- But you always see the baby. She's lying.

- I know. I know. - Why is she doing that?

- 'Cause she wants to try to make me look bad.

- I know.

I'm not gonna talk to her anymore.

I only talked to her, 'cause I thought you guys were good.

- No. [bleep] That. - But now,

after knowing all this, I can't.

- You see what it is.

- Yesterday I got to a pool party,

and Ron was, like, this the whole [bleep] thing.

So I thought he was fighting with Jenn,

so then I was, like--I texted her.

I texted her.

- So she came there?

- She--yeah, Jenn came.

- Who told her to come?

- I mean... - Yeah?

- Me. - Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm, but, like, if Angelina didn't, like,

initiate it, I wouldn't have [bleep]--you know what I mean?

- Angelina has a DM from Jenn I'm trying to see.

- Can I have your phone?

- Get it! Get it! Open it!

- So Angelina was, like, in my ear, like,

"Ooh, do this. Do this. Do this,"

and then the b*tch threw me under the bus this morning.

- And she actually came to the club last night,

the strip club, like, willingly,

because you had--did you ask her?

I don't even know how that worked.

- I can let it die, but I'm just, like,

annoyed that she tried to, like, throw me under the bus.

- Yeah.

- Like, I thought you guys were doing so well,

and, like, you know?

- I was doing well, you know?

We were doing well, because I was doing well.

You never know which Jenn you're gonna get.

You're gonna get cool Jenn. You're gonna get bitchy Jenn.

You're gonna get [bleep] wild Jenn.

It's, like, it's why I never had to cheat on her,

because, like, I had a different person

every [bleep] day.

- Oh, my God. - [laughs]

- I feel bad for him,

but, like, when he's, like, putting himself in a position

where, like, [bleep] is literally getting ran over

and [bleep], like, I'm just like,

"Come on, bro. Get your [bleep] together."

- Mm-hmm. - "Fix it."

- I'm sure Ron will go back, again to Jenn.

I pray he does not if this is the case,

but sometimes it takes eight years.

- Sucks and more sucks.

- I don't got to live like this.

This is crazy.

I go to vacation [bleep] whenever I want.

Like, Jenni [bleep] find me a little mama.

Little -year-old.

- Yeah, [bleep] tight piece of a*s.

- So what do you think of my roommates?

- I told you, they're-- - Angelina. Her mouth.

- She's an idiot.

- [laughs]

She's-- - [bleep] idiot sometimes.

- I know. I was gonna tell you. - Yeah.

- I've never seen Jenni act like a giddy schoolgirl.

Right now, I'm just like, "You don't look like

you have sex with guys and rip their heads off."

She's happy with him.

- Yeah. - I was just over there

spying on them real quick, and she's giggly

and laughing, and--

- She--yeah. She'll [bleep] dude.

- Yeah, of course.

I love the fact that Jenni's a cougar now.

Roger was ten years older,

and this guy's ten years younger.

You know, it's like, "All right. Well, you go, girl.

You get yours and brush them cobwebs off your..."

- He was four years ago.

- [laughs]

- She used to babysit him, I think.

- He just got his driver's license.

- Was just gonna say, he just got his learner's permit.

He had to fly with an escort.

[laughter]

He can't fly alone.

- With one of those things around his neck.

- The badge.

- With his itinerary.

- How was your flight when you actually got on it?

- I went to sleep.

- Oh, you did? - Yeah. Not really, though.

I mean, yeah.

Those weren't the best seats. It's fine.

- Yeah.

- They didn't have to pay for a seat.

- Yeah! He was like--he was--

- His mom held him.

- "Bulova Novas" didn't come. - Yeah. I can't--

- What are they called?

- Ask Vinny or Ron what it would be.

- Well, I can't say it if I don't know

the [bleep] name of what I'm saying.

- She gives him medicine, and she's like,

"Open up for the plane."

- When she wants something, she bribes him with ice cream,

not with sex.

[laughs]

He still takes children's Tylenol.

[laughter]

- She had to put baby gates in her house.

[laughter]

- It's the first time he's not using his walker.

[laughter]

- What is going on?

What...

Honestly, I'm scared for how much you're laughing.

- Holy--when he needs aspirin Jenni has to open it for him.

[laughter]

- Oh, are we doing young jokes?

- Yeah. - Oh, Zack.

Zack, you should get in on this.

- Oh, I'm good. - I'm good.

- They're doing young jokes.

I get it. Like, I get it.

I mean, I would make fun of Zack too

if I was half his size.

Oh, why did you stop?

- I wasn't saying anything.

- Why did you stop?

- It just sucks he has to see a rated R movie with you.

- Dude, I'm not gonna join in on this [bleep].

[laughter]

- It's so funny. Oh, poor b*stard.

[laughter]

- ♪ Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh ♪

♪ You keep the party going ♪

♪ Eh-eh-eh, eh-eh-eh ♪

♪ Keep the dream going ♪

- All right let's go. - Go.

- You guys waiting on me? all: Yes!

- Yeah. - What?

Having a bang situation.

- Well, who the [bleep] gets bangs in their s?

Oh, my God.

- All right, you guys are out of here?

- Yeah. - Yeah. We're leaving.

- I'm gonna go home. get the baby.

- Wait, what? - What are you talking about?

Really? - Go home and get the baby.

Yeah. - Damn.

- Love you.

Well, are you coming to dinner with us tonight?

- Yeah. I'm gonna try to come back with the baby.

- Oh, the baby's gonna come? - Yeah.

I'll see if I can bring her. - Oh, yay.

You know, I'm definitely happy Ron is gonna separate himself

from the pool party, because that's usually where

he gets himself in trouble.

- I love you.

- Bro, what the [bleep]?

We're about to go get [bleep]-up.

- [laughs]

- Oh, that's right. I love this place.

I do want this. - No, I'm getting tequila.

Oh. Can I get something else?

- I don't like it.

He's being a-[bleep]-nnoying.

- What's up with that? Why don't you have sex?

When's the last time you did it?

- I don't know.

This kid doesn't know me,

so, like, what the [bleep] is he doing?

He's such a weirdo.

Mr. .

- Oh, my God.

- I'm coming after the way he came at me

after knowing him for five seconds.

- No, no, because you allow it.

You can disrespect your man any day of the week.

- I don't disrespect my man.

- But you are not gonna disrespect mine,

and that's when I'm gonna [bleep] checkmate you

real quick.

[upbeat music]

- Pool cup. - Oh, that's right.

I love this place. - I do want this.

- Do you really want them? I'm getting tequila.

- I want the watermelon one.

- I'm here to have fun. I'm here to get drunk.

I'm here to have a good time with all the roommates.

I just want to live my best life.

♪ ♪

Whoa. It's strong.

- It's tequila.

Oh. - Did you want that?

- I don't like it.

Can I get something else?

I don't like this.

I'm sorry.

- What?

- What do you mean?

- I don't like it.

- Do you want it?

I mean, you can have it if you want.

Why are you being weird? - [laughs]

- Well, I think that maybe you should mind your own business.

- Oh, my God. What am I missing?

- What happened?

- He's being a-[bleep]-nnoying.

Sorry that I wasted. - Oh, no. I don't mind.

- Thank you very much.

He was upset that I didn't like the other one and I wasted it.

Such a millennial.

[laughter]

Like, he's like the person that's, like,

with the ecosystems and [bleep]. Relax.

People are annoying. Millennials are annoying.

They're all, like, sensitive and [bleep].

It's, like, relax.

- ♪ Now all I see is ♪

♪ Lights flashing ♪

♪ So turn the music up ♪

♪ ♪

- I like it. - I like it for the games.

- Cheers to ! Whoo!

- Cheers.

- I'm a little anxious having in this environment.

You never know what's gonna come out

of my roommates' mouths, and that's the concerning part.

I got a roommate stripping. I got a roommate in jail.

I got one that wants to get married,

but actually doesn't want to have any sex with him,

but wants... - Oh, stop it.

- To bang everything else,

including the stripper roommate.

- Yeah. What's up with that?

- No. No. - "No, no."

Why don't you have sex? - I am.

- No. She's having sex now. - Mm-hmm.

- Is she, or is she just saying it?

- No. I'm having sex now. - With who?

- Yeah, with who? - With Chris.

- Why didn't you before?

- He had a little bit of a dry spell.

- Why? - We had problems

with the house and [bleep].

I just met you, , and you're literally grilling me

about my relationship with Chris.

Like, bro.

- All right. I got questions. You live together right now?

- Yep - Whose idea was that?

- is, like, trying to ask about Angelina's sex life,

and I don't want any part of this.

- When's the last time you did it?

- Last week.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Before that?

- I don't know. That's when the hurdles were.

- All right. - But now we're having sex.

- Oh, good. - This kid is years old.

He knows nothing about relationships, okay.

He's probably been in none in his entire life.

And another thing too, he doesn't know me, so, like,

what the [bleep] is he doing? He's such a weirdo.

- Why are you riding me about these things

and you've only known me for minutes?

- Why did you answer me?

I was trying to help.

- is grilling Angelina about her sex life,

and I'm like, "Pump the brakes, bro."

- From now on, my sex life is none of anyone's business,

and what happens in my sex life is off-limits now.

- I'm just trying to figure it out.

- I'm basically old enough to be 's mother,

so he needs to chill out before I take

the [bleep] wooden spoon and start spanking his a*s.

My sex life is off-limits to everybody here,

from [bleep] this point forward. I am done.

- Hold on for a second-- - 's trying to, like,

interrogate Angelina,

but I'm like, "Bro, you're new to this whole thing.

Like, you're going down the wrong path

if you're trying to be a part of this family."

- You shall address me by my government.

- Your new government is incarceration.

- Oh! - Trust me.

It just doesn't work.

- Mr. , you [bleep].

You've known me for minutes, brah.

Mr. .

- You just--oh!

- Oh, my God!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Better ask somebody ♪

♪ Better ask somebody about me ♪

♪ Ask somebody, better ask somebody ♪

♪ About me me ♪

- All right. Hang on. - Relax. Relax.

- Okay.

I already got all of her [bleep].

- I know. - You just--oh.

- Oh, my God!

- I'm mad at you.

- Okay.

You know what the issue is here?

I [bleep] got to you. - You did. You [bleep] did.

- That's the [bleep] issue. I got deep down.

- Listen. - I did. You can just say it.

- She doesn't like you.

Now she doesn't like you. - That's fine.

- I'm [bleep] ten years older than you, bro.

- Oh, my God. - Listen to you right now.

- I'm your elder. Respect them.

- I kind of have, like, mixed feelings about .

Like, first impression, nice guy, like, put together.

But is a little weird, like, coming at Angelina so hard.

Like, some red flags.

Well, I have a question.

So are you, like, a relationship kind of guy, or--

- No. I--what do you mean?

- Like, have you had many girlfriends?

Like, long-term? - Yeah. No. I was--

- How long is your longest relationship?

- Year-and-a-half.

- He's also, like, so--

- He doesn't like to be stagnant is what I realized.

- Yeah.

- As Jenni's getting serious with this guy,

I want to know what his intentions are,

if he knows what he's really getting into,

because you can't date Jenni

without having all these adult responsibilities.

And you know, at years old, like, are you ready for that?

I wasn't.

A lot of the girls I meet nowadays have kids,

so I'm like, "Oh, [bleep]."

Like, you're becoming an instant father.

- Yeah, but that's the thing, though. I'm not their father.

- Well...

- He's been around. It's not like he's new.

Like, the pigs know him already.

- Yeah, they used to play together.

Essentially, you're giving up your s

if you're gonna stay with Jenni,

'cause you're, like, an instant dad.

You're in a relationship, and you're not partying.

You're not going out. You're not doing

all the shenanigans that -year-olds do.

All right, guys, I gotta go to my show.

- All right. Love you. - Maybe I'll see you later

if you're out; I'll text you. All right? So--

- Have fun, Vinny. - All right, man.

- Being a male performer is definitely a lot of work,

but in this case, it saves me from and Angelina.

I'm actually gonna go back to the Cromwell

so I can relax a little bit.

- Chris is a great guy. - I love him.

- Let's go have a nice dinner, Angelina.

Can we all do that together?

- All right. Let's finish this at dinner...

- All right. Let's go. - . Seven days a week.

- All right. You first. Let's go.

- I don't like anybody that thinks they're better than me

and walks around like their [bleep] don't stink.

Like, bro, your [bleep] stinks terribly, and you suck.

- ♪ How can I learn how to trust you ♪

- Where's Angelina? - Angelina?

- All right. All right. All right. I'm drunk.

♪ I can't take it ♪

♪ I can't take it ♪

♪ It definitely keeps ♪

♪ It definitely keeps it all ♪

- Do you want to come in, ?

- If he comes in, I'm gonna fart in his face.

Get out of here. - [laughs]

You--you are one sick b*tch.

I need to go give us more champagne, 'cause I can't.

- What are you doing right now?

- Taking my mic off and locking the door.

- [laughs]

- First of all, , he probably has a small [bleep].

That's realistic.

- All right. Come on, bartender. Open the champagne.

- I'm trying to help this person.

Trying to be nice to /, even though he wasn't nice to me.

If he comes at me sideways tonight, it's game on, bro.

It ain't happening.

I'm gonna [bleep] call him out, and I'll be like,

"You have a two-inch [bleep]." Get the [bleep] out of here.

You don't know [bleep].

I don't like him.

- Wait, wait.

You're not opening it with that.

- How do I do it? - It's a champagne.

It's not a cork.

- All right. There we go. I got it.

- Good job. Good job. - Watch the [bleep] out,

'cause it's coming out.

All right. Hold on. I need to saddle it.

I'm not a [bleep] quitter. D, I can't.

- All right, so let me do it.

Why do they make it so difficult?

- Turn it, and then I gotta--

- Are we [bleep] not ridiculous right now?

- Go get . - Oh, hell no.

All right, let me try with it with my sleeve.

Get the [bleep] sleeve going. - Okay.

- Oh, I got it.

- Ooh! Whoo!

- Yes.

- All right.

[laughs]

Me and Angelina really bonded this trip,

and I wasn't expecting that, you know,

'cause she's so raunchy and stuff.

But I feel like with me she, like, tamed it down,

and we actually had a good time.

- Cheers to your last night in Las Vegas.

- Yes and our new friendship.

- Yes, I loved you being my roommate.

- I think for the next couple houses we room together.

- Same.

Deena's a good time. I like rooming with her.

I feel like Deena and me got to know each other,

and I'm enjoying my bonding time with her right now.

I just think it's cool. I think she's a cool person.

- I can't function.

- I think you're hysterical too.

I think you're hysterical too.

[upbeat funky music]

- ♪ Hey ♪

- ♪ When it come to w*r we dressed in jet-black ♪

- Well, right now I feel like I know what

from life, you know?

And I feel like I want to live a happy,

healthy life for myself,

and because I know if I'm good, like, Ariana will be good.

I want to give to Ariana the things I didn't have.

- I see a slot machine right there.

About to take that [bleep] clear thing off.

- [laughs]

- "I'm about to take that clear thing off."

[laughs]

- Is this cheating? - I'm telling you--

- If I'd want my daughter around anybody,

I would want her around her aunts.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Yeah. Freak it. Ron!

- Oh, my God.

- I know. Let's squash this bull[bleep].

- I'm not--I don't have an issue.

- Both of you. You hurt her feelings.

- This whole vibe at dinner right now is just not good.

- Stop making excuses. Stop making excuses.

- You're being out of line now. - Stop making excuses.

- ♪ Do you know who you are ♪

♪ Do you know who you are ♪

- I see a slot machine right there.

- [laughs]

- Yeah. Freak it. Ron!

- Oh, my God.

What did I walk into just now?

Holy [bleep].

- Oh, my God. - Ronald.

- Ariana!

Baby Arian's so cute.

Oh, my God. She's got the chunky little cheeks.

She's, like, the twin of Ron.

Hello, Ron. - Oh, my God.

- Not good, probably. - What did I bring my child to?

- Mommy.

- Hi. - Hi, Mama.

- Are we crazy? - We're your crazy aunts.

Ariana.

- Does she know her name yet? - Yeah. Yeah. She's known it.

- Hi. - She's like, "What are you?"

- She's fascinated by it. - What's that?

Hi. Can I have a hug? Oh, you want Daddy.

- You are Daddy's girl. Yeah. - You want Daddy.

- You're Daddy's girl.

[laughs]

- I can't.

- Aw.

- Oh, my God.

- So how was it going home?

Was she yelling at you? - I didn't see her.

- Oh, you didn't see her. - Mm.

- Is she going out tonight? - I didn't ask.

I didn't see her or care. I got my daughter.

- Yeah, that's all that matters.

- My night's complete. I'm good.

- You got your baby. - Yeah. I got my daughter.

I'm good. - I'm happy you came back.

- Same. - Yeah. Me too.

- There's just always gonna be drama between Ronnie and Jenn,

but it's really good to see Ronnie like this

so happy with his child,

and, you know, I think that Ronnie is a good dad.

- Oh, my God. I can't take it.

- Jenni?

Come see the baby. Ariana and Ronnie are here.

- She's over there making a baby.

You think she's worried about seeing the baby?

- Oh, I love her.

What a face!

Ariana is the cutest little meatball.

Like, she is just the tiniest little, like, porcelain doll

and beautiful and oh!

I am obsessed.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

- Is that what you do to him? - Yeah, right.

[laughter]

- Hi.

- She must be really drunk crawling over to Angelina.

[laughter]

- Relax.

- For to come at Angelina this soon,

yeah, I feel like he's jumping the g*n, but I also feel

like he just wants to fit in. You know?

I feel like he feels like if he can joke around--but

I feel like there's some things you don't joke around about.

- Hi. Can you say ? Huh?

- , are you sure you don't want to have

a baby like this with Jenni?

- Wait. What?

- She's still pissed from earlier. You missed it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Could have a baby just like this.

- I don't want any more kids.

The fact that Angelina is still ranting is now pissing me off.

I don't play that [bleep].

This is the perfect age, and then

they start talking back, and it's all over.

- Hi! - Oh, my God!

- Stop it. She's one. - Yeah.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - She's one. She just said hi.

- Seeing dad Ron makes me so happy.

This is the Ronnie we love,

the one with the good heart, levelheaded,

and, you know, is there for his daughter.

- Hi. - Hi.

- All right, guys. - We love you.

- Have a good flight and have fun tonight.

- Yes. - Have fun.

- I love seeing this Ronnie.

I love seeing Ronnie come in as super dad,

taking his baby girl out.

Like, he knows how to handle it.

Like, I love seeing this side of Ron.

- Bye, Ariana. - It was nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, man. - Get some rest.

- We'll see you. Have fun tonight.

Enjoy Vegas.

- She said, "Bye." - All right. Bye, baby.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Bye-bye.

- All right. Let's go get ready.

- Yeah.

- ♪ Higher and higher ♪

- She's so cute. - So cute.

- Can't. She's so cute.

- Wasn't that so weird? - Wait. What?

- Like, he was like... - Was he?

- Yeah. I just felt like he was awkward.

I think Ron picked up on it too.

I don't know, but he needs to be good with kids,

'cause she has two kids. He is a kid.

- Okay. Calm down.

- But he just rubs me the wrong way.

- I know you really don't like him. You hate him.

- I feel like--yeah. - You don't like him.

- Well, is it wrong that I, like, think this.

like, I feel some type of way?

- No. You're allowed to feel however you want.

- What were you doing? - Listening to her.

- What was she saying?

- She's talking [bleep] in there.

- About what? - Just...

- About what, though? - From earlier.

She's still pissed off.

- I apologize for, right now, Angelina.

- No need to apologize. It's just starting.

- There's, like, talking [bleep],

and then there's just Angelina, as a human being.

- No. She's just being an idiot.

- And the fact that, like, she's allowing him

to get underneath her skin, like,

that just shows who she is as a person.

But don't try and turn it on him,

because he's actually not even being malicious.

But I will be.

- I'm gonna go get the tequila. - [laughs]

- Wait. How about that guy today

with the friggin' daiquiri?

- I can't believe-- - I wanted to k*ll him.

- That was so, like-- - Like, so rude.

- Well, I think that maybe you should mind your own business.

- Oh, my God. What am I missing?

- He's like, "Well, that's kind of a waste, isn't it?"

I'm like, "What a [bleep] millennial."

Like, "Oh, everything is so upsetting,

and everything insults me."

Like, [bleep] relax.

If I don't want to drink my [bleep] daiquiri

because it doesn't taste good, don't bother me.

And then he goes--he's annoying,

and then what did he say? And I said,

"I think you should just mind your [bleep] business."

- And that's what happens /. - So what a millennial is--

a millennial--it... - [belches]

- It actually is...

- [laughs]

You blew it out.

The real definition of millennials I think is,

like, someone born after a certain amount of time, and--

- Like this [bleep] guy in that room in there?

- You know, the [bleep] s,

but all the millennials are super [bleep] sensitive,

and everything bothers them,

and---ooh, like, so, "Everything upsets me.

I'm so upset."

.

- He's a millennial. - I'm annoyed with the guy

at the daiquiri.

Like, rude. Tried to play me out.

- Rude. Tried to play me out.

- We were the last generation that was, like, real. Like--

- Yeah, and-- - We went--

and we played outside. Like, I got my [bleep] beaten.

- Like, he should go play on [bleep] monkey bars,

this kid, like-- - Listen, if I was a [bleep]

as*h*le to my mom, she'd [bleep] slap my a*s.

If I don't like a drink,

who are you to force me to drink it?

"Wouldn't you say that's a waste?"

Yeah, if it was a [bleep], like, burrito,

and I had a bite of it,

and I was, "Hmm. I don't want it."

- What? - It was a [bleep]

daiquiri ice.

This kid really annoyed me today.

- And this kid really annoyed me today.

[belches]

Millennials can [bleep] a cob salad [bleep].

[laughter]

- They can.

- He hears me.

And one last time. [bleep] the millennials.

- [bleep] millennials! - [bleep] millennials.

- ♪ Turn it up ♪

♪ Yeah we're gonna celebrate ♪

- , J, you guys ready? - Yep.

- Come on, Ang. Ooh, so pretty.

- Best friends to dinnertime. Let's go.

- Oh. My. God.

- We're gonna have a great dinner right now, bestie.

- Are we? - We are.

- I need a [bleep] drink.

♪ ♪

♪ Turn it up ♪

- So we're heading to dinner.

It's and three girls. We'll see how he handles us.

Angelina better keep it together.

Hmm, this dinner's gonna be fun.

- I gotta sit next to bestie?

- I'm really across from you right now.

- Be friends. - I know.

Let's squash this bull[bleep].

- I don't have an issue. - Both of you.

- [sighs]

- This whole vibe at dinner right now is just not good.

I'm still mad about what happened earlier

with Jenni's man at the pool.

- When's the last time you did it?

- The hell is going on? - [laughs]

- You know, I just thought it was very disrespectful,

and it wasn't cool to my fiancé either.

He doesn't know me, so, like, why would you even do that?

- I actually don't think I have an--he doesn't have an issue.

- She does. She's not happy.

- Why? - Well, let's talk about it.

- Do you judge me upon my-- - Not--Angelina, I swear.

- You hurt her feelings. - All right. I really--

- Why?

- 'Cause she felt like you attacked her

when you first met her.

- He didn't attack her. - All right, Angelina...

- Oh, my God. Apparently he offended her,

even though she openly talked about it,

and no she's trying to play the victim seven hours later?

You gotta be [bleep] kidding me.

- It was a little weird.

It was--I was taken back, and I answered you at first.

And then I was like, "Oh, my God.

What the hell am I doing?" But--

- You can't say what you say and expect people to just,

like, not react the way that we're reacting.

- I know, but I tell everybody what

is really going on in my life. Some people don't.

The thing is, is that I'm an open book,

and I don't want it to be thrown in my face later on.

- She should also keep her mouth shut.

- It is what it is, Jenni, and we know how she is.

- I know, but you can't-- it's a double-edged sword,

and you can't have that.

If you're gonna say what you say about your relationship,

about your love life, about not wearing underwear,

[bleep] behind a bar,

and then you're gonna actually get mad at someone

for judging you and calling you out,

like, girl, mm-mm, we're not playing that.

- Lookit, this was out of good heart.

I'm not picking on you.

- I'm not saying you have a bad heart.

Nobody said that. - But it's literally, like,

you're the one that's talking [bleep],

and then you're getting upset when people judge.

- Did I not say to you I don't hate him?

I said hate's a strong word. I said I don't know you, but--

- No, but, like, you're the one that's putting it out there,

and then you get mad when people judge.

- I know, but I also put it out there,

and then I don't want to keep having--like, even outsiders.

Like, he's coming into this. I mean yeah. I would--

- But you allow it. - I didn't allow it.

- You did.

- You gotta understand where I'm coming from.

- All right. - No, I don't actually.

- I say things because I want to be an open book,

and then I get judged for that.

- Stop making excuses. Stop making excuses.

- You're being out of line now. - Stop making excuses.

- It's not making excuses. - Deena, would you do that?

- Can we have a champagne? Can somebody bring us a drink?

I'm not trying to be in the middle of this drama.

I am not drunk enough for this [bleep].

- I'm not you. I'm not her. I'm Angelina.

- Exactly. Exactly.

- See? Now you're just being an a*s, because--

- No I'm not. - Yeah you are.

- You're being an a*s to him. - I'm not being an a*s to him.

- And that's when I step in. - Okay.

I don't know what you're trying to do here,

but I'm not trying to be an a*s to him.

- Yeah, you are. - He just said two minutes ago

he's fine. - You're stirring the pot.

- I'm not stirring the pot.

- And that's what I'm gonna [bleep] checkmate you

real quick.

I'm beyond angry with Angelina,

because she talks all this game of like,

"I want to be in the family."

And then, like, you're [bleep] talking [bleep].

Like, now you're gonna have to deal with me.

I am gonna protect the people that I care about.

- And I'm gonna protect myself.

- But you're not gonna come on here

and try and make him look like something that it's not.

- I'm not trying to make him look like anything.

- You say the things that you say...

- No one is trying to make him look bad.

- And at the end of the day, like, you don't want to be

judged on those things, and I'm gonna have an issue.

That's where I'm gonna step in and have an issue.

- I'm just a fun person.

- That's where I'm gonna have an issue and step in.

- I'm a fun, outgoing person.

- But that's where I'm gonna have an issue and step in.

- I don't understand. I don't--he's fine with it.

Look. He's all right. - No, but I'm not.

Look at me. Look at me. I'm not. I'm not.

- I don't understand what you're talking about.

- You know what? Just give me a [bleep] drink.

[upbeat music]

- So we're all dancing, having a great time.

Jenni is obliviatedly drunk,

passed out on her man right now.

And all of a sudden,

I just feel this big hand just, like, right on me.

♪ ♪

He's, like, on my a*s and my side,

and Jenni's, like, right there.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- I was taken back.

You gotta understand where I'm coming from.

- All right. - No I don't actually.

- All right. Hey. - You're making it dramatic.

- I'm coming after--no I'm not. - You're making it dramatic.

- I'm coming after the way he came at me

after knowing me for five seconds.

- No, no, no, because you allow it.

- No. - You literally allow it.

- I don't allow somebody that I just meet to say, "Oh,

how's about your sex life?" - Hey.

- No, no, no. Angelina, you can disrespect your man

any day of the week out here... - I don't disrespect my man.

- But when it comes to, like, me,

you're not gonna disrespect mine,

and you're not gonna do it, like--

- I'm not disrespecting anybody's man.

I'm just being honest,

and I'm telling him that it wasn't cool that...

- So was he. - He [bleep] did what he did.

- Coming from the outside, calm the [bleep] down.

- No it's all right. It's not--no.

- Not gonna talk [bleep] that you talk and then be like,

"Oh, but wait a minute. Nobody's allowed to judge."

- Oh, my God. This is insane.

We're all out for a nice dinner.

This is our last night here, and Jenni and Angelina

are still going at it, and I'm like, "Oh, my God.

Just give me my [bleep] champagne."

- You need to check yourself, Angelina.

You need to stop saying the things that you say

about your man and everything.

- But, Jenni, I'm an open [bleep] book.

What you see is what you get with me. That's it.

- Then you can't be mad when people judge you for it.

- Pardon me for interrupting. How are we doing tonight?

- We're great. - [laughs]

- Are we celebrating anything tonight?

- A new friendship. - New friendship. All right.

- Oh, God.

- The waiter comes over and asks for our drinks,

and I'm like, "Thank the Lord,"

because I didn't want to hear all this anymore.

I'm over it.

Let's get something to eat, have some drinks,

and let's just have a good night.

Oh, fantastic. Thank you.

We're all good, , right?

- Yeah. We're all good now.

- Thank God I have two.

- You had two martinis? - I need it right now.

- [laughs]

- What do you think Vinny's doing right now?

- ♪ Money money money on the floor ♪

♪ Gotta bad [...] ♪

♪ Got a habit for the dough yo ♪

♪ Every time I see you on the go ♪

♪ Go a show in Atlanta ♪

♪ She a stripper on the pole yo ♪

- Just a chill shot for you, and a chill shot for you.

- Whoo! Taking shots. Getting [bleep] up.

Let's do it.

Oh.

Who the [bleep]'s coming out tonight, b*tches?

- [laughs]

- What just changed? - Tequila.

[laughter]

- So, you know, after a couple drinks,

it seems like everything's better.

The beef seems like it's squashed between the girls,

and I'm getting pretty drunk.

Who are we getting tonight? I don't even know.

- [laughs]

- Oh, my God.

- Deena is coming out. - Yes.

- Oh, no. - Eh...my hair.

[laughter]

- What the hell?

- It just comes out.

- Whose hair is this right here?

- It's not mine. - Deena.

- I'm gonna get a new weave. It's due.

- Deena, it's okay. I'll keep the weave.

- Thank you. - I'll put it in my bra

for the night. - Oh, Angelina, no.

- Oh, God. - I want to do a cheers.

- To our debauchery. - No.

Let's do a cheers to [bleep] the millennials.

- I'm a millennial. He's a millennial.

- We're all millennials. - You're a millennial.

- I'm not a millennial. - Yes you are.

- Yes, you are. - No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are. - Nope, s--

- Look it up. - Millennials.

. We're all [bleep] millennials.

- [scoffs]

Whatever. I still don't like millennials.

[bleep] annoying. We might be millennials,

but we're not the [bleep] [bleep] ones.

Cheers to that.

[cell phone chiming]

- Get your phone. Get your phone.

Vinny's calling you. A millennial.

- Hey, we are just finishing dinner.

- All right. Then you going to Drai's?

- We're going to Drai's right now. Are you coming?

- Yeah. I'll meet you there.

- I'm not gonna lie.

You're walking into a disaster.

[laughter]

- What?

[upbeat guitar music]

- Let's go to the club.

- Ew, you still have my hair in there?

- Yeah. - Ohh!

- Take my hair out of your boobs, you weirdo.

So we're headed to Drai's. I'm excited.

Cheers! - I don't have anything.

- I want to have some shots, live it up for this last night,

'cause when I go home, it's not like this.

- ♪ Dance on the floor ♪

♪ Give me wiggle room, wiggle room ♪

♪ I'ma take this spot ♪

♪ Watch me get 'em, get 'em ♪

♪ I'ma fly high like the ceiling, ceiling ♪

♪ Spin around ♪

♪ Let me hear you say ayy-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ I'ma tear up the club ♪

♪ Let me hear you say ayy-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ I'ma tear up the club ♪

♪ Let me hear you say ♪

- Vinny!

Whoo!

- When I walked in the club, I was sober.

I had just come from a show,

and my roommates are hot messes right now.

- Deena is dancing on tables.

Jenni is obliviated, and Angelina...

has hairy boobs.

There's literally hair in her boobs.

[funky electronic music]

- I haven't seen Jenni like this in years,

dancing around, throwing back shots,

grinding on .

I mean, she is, like, Thottiana right now.

She's even dancing with Angelina.

It is crazy.

♪ ♪

- Me and Jenni are actually getting along at this point.

- I like her much better when she's drunk.

- ♪ Clap, everybody move a man ♪

♪ Just groove ♪

♪ Playas gotta do ya dance ♪

♪ Now breathe ♪

♪ Ladies better choose a man ♪

- I've never seen Jenni this wasted in my life.

She's falling all over the place.

She's, like, Snooki drunk right now.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Just clap ♪

- I don't even remember seeing Vinny that night.

I swear. Like, I swear, like, I don't...

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- There's some weird [bleep] happening between those two.

Jenni looks like she's dead.

is, like, has his hand wrapped around her throat

whispering [bleep] in her ear.

It reminds me of "American Psycho,"

because he's, like, in this suit,

and he has this, like, weird non-expression,

and he has his dead victim here that he's strangling.

I don't know if it's kinky or [bleep] scary.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, I don't remember any of it.

This is embarrassing.

- ♪ Yo I pulled up caught her lookin' ♪

♪ She already know ♪

- ♪ She already know ♪

♪ She probably got a man, I mean to let him go ♪

- ♪ Let him go ♪

- So we're all dancing and having a great time.

Jenni is obliviatedly drunk,

passed out on her man right now,

and all of a sudden,

I just feel this big hand just, like, right on me.

- I was surprised, because his hands are big,

so it was, like, on my a*s and my side, you know?

And Jenni's, like, right there.

- I look over and see

grabbing Angelina's a*s a little bit.

I'm like, "What the [bleep] is going on?"

- Are we friends now?

- I mean, Jenni is jealous over everything.

Like, if she knew what was going on,

she would k*ll both of you.

- I'm just trying to be cool with this kid,

'cause I don't want to get into it with Jenni again.

But then he also grabs my leg, like, holding me.

Whoa. Whoa.

It's like, "Bro, what are you? Out of your [bleep] mind?

Stop."

- I need to go. - Let's go.

- We all need to get out of here.

Jenni's a [bleep] mess right now,

and is [bleep] trouble.

One minute he's asking me about my sex life,

and the next minute, he's, like, grabbing me.

He doesn't know what boundaries are.

This is gonna be a problem.

- What happened in Vegas?

- I just feel his hand go right on me.

- No.

- We need to figure out what happened.

- She [bleep] kissed him! She's full of dog-[bleep].

- A [bleep] clown.

You like to knock this guy's teeth out or what?

- I'm seriously worried about the next time

we're gonna be together.

- She's gonna have to deal with me.

How much do you commit to a lie?

- This can break up my engagement.

- Awkward! Awkward!

- How [bleep] dare her.

- It's, like, Zack's word against Angelina's.

- You're trying to grind me now. My--

- Grinding! Grinding!

- She's a [bleep] liar. - Now, it's an all-out w*r.

- I swear to [bleep] Christ, b*tch.

- Enough! Enough now. - Stop, stop, stop.

- [bleep]. - Jenni--

- That's why people have rematches!