02x04 - 4th Step

[bunniefuu]

Disarmed.

- Oh my God!
- Hello, Samantha.

Why are you awake?
It's, like, 4:00 a. m.

For some reason, I
just could not sleep.

Okay, well, I have to be up
pretty early, so I'm gonna...

Right. Did you
have fun with Alex?

- Yeah.
- Nice.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Can we talk about it later?

Of course. Please.

Cool.

So, you see, I am not, in
fact, intrusive and nosey.

What is happening right now?

Nothing is happening.

I just don't want
to be overbearing,

and yet absent.

No, no, don't bother.

Your diary is right here.

That is not my diary,
that is my fourth step.

- Your what?
- It's part of the program, okay?

I-I write out my resentments

and then I let them
go. Give it back to me.

"Selfish, bad
behavior, bad listener.

- Mom.
- This one. "I am resentful

of my mother for her beauty."

Really?

What am I supposed
to do with that?

Nothing! You don't do
anything with that.

"A self-involved narcissist

who tries to cover up her
failures with gardening."

Really, what are my
so-called failures, Samantha?

I am not having this
conversation with you.

Taking that was a huge
violation of my privacy.

- Your privacy.
- Yes.

I am sure everyone

in all of your meetings
knows exactly what's in here.

No, they don't. Only
my sponsor does.

Olivia Elliot of NPR
knows our dirty laundry.

That's wonder... Shouldn't
this be for your eyes only?

Yes!

Now you know all of it,
though. Are you happy?

- No, it's awful.
- Hey, w-what's going on?

It's like 4:00 in the morning.

Oh, God, why are you
wearing her robe?

Sorry, it's a medical condition.

I don't want to
hear anything else.

It's like a night sweat thing.

I thought she knew
about my sweat thing.

It's really... It's enough.

Brit.

Okay, let me start by saying

I am not coming to you because
Samantha's otherwise occupied.

Okay, wow, I didn't think
that before, but now I do.

I just really need
someone to complain to.

Fun! Well, at
least I'm not busy

- doing anything.
- Okay, come on, Brit.

You got three minutes, right?

Zacky's dad wants to see me.

Whoa. Trent's in town?

I haven't seen him since
that viral video of him

skateboarding into a
dumpster full of teddy bears.

How is that guy?

He wants to hang
out. Like, alone.

He wants to "talk."

I don't want to talk to him.

I don't have to do this, right?

I mean, he is the
father of your child.

He was.

Before he went and ditched
us to go live his dreams

jumping in dumpsters in L. A.

- Look, I think you got to go.
- Ugh.

I feel like Sam would
have said the same,

but I would have done the
opposite, because... Sam.

- Samantha?
- Oh!

Mindy?

So, uh, what are you doing here?

I'm housesitting
Olivia's plants.

- They were dying from neglect.
- Oh.

It's a dry run to get her
to appoint me godmother.

Godmother? I thought
you hated babies.

Yeah. The way
they can't support

their own heads freaks me out.

What are you doing here?

I don't know, I just felt
like I needed a walk,

and then my feet
kind of took me here.

You want to talk about it?

Olivia's not coming
back for a while, Sam.

- I know.
- I mean, we can

Weekend at Bernie's
this all you want,

but, spoiler alert,
Bernie's dead,

and you need to
find a new sponsor.

Fink, my office,
please. Chop-chop.

- Hey.
- The Sphinx.

- What?
- New nickname.

Sam, Fink, "Sphinx."

- Sick.
- It's good, right?

- Mm. What do you need?
- So, listen, we got

the New York meeting coming up.

I really want to have
some great ideas,

I need everyone focused.

I really want to
impress Corporate.

I want to show them
how we're gonna take

this dying print publication,
rip it from its grave,

bring it to the future.

Yeah, okay, great.

Let me, uh, think of some
stuff. I'll get back to you.

Here's what I'm thinking.

Stuff like Backpage,

but without the murders, okay?

Maybe we do a podcast,
maybe a TikTok challenge.

- You're Gen Z, right?
- Millennial.

Oh, you're useless to
me. Why are we even...

Hey, Jeff? Jeff,
come here for a sec.

What are you,
generationally speaking?

I'm technically on the cusp.

"On the cusp." That's
an annoying answer.

That's exactly the kind
of Gen Z bullshit I want.

Fink, take a page out of
the Jeff playbook, please.

Jeff, let's do a column

called "On the Cusp With Jeff."

Sam, you have a visitor.
Or it might be a stalker.

- I can't tell.
- Okay, thanks.

- Bob?
- Sam, hey!

Sorry to barge in.

Boy, this is it, huh?

I mean, I really miss the
hubbub of an office, you know?

- It's just like...
- Yeah.

So fun. Listen, I don't have

a lot of time right now. Can
I help you with something?

No, I-I'm just here

to see how the
sausage gets made.

Okay, so I heard
some of what you guys

- were talking about last night.
- Mm-hmm.

And your mom, she's not feeling
great about what happened.

- Bob.
- Look, if you just sat down with her,

I think you might be
able to get an apology.

Sorry, you think I'm gonna
get an apology from the woman

who said, "Why did you
put your finger there?"

when she slammed
it in a car door?

Yeah, just sort of flickers.

- Yeah, that's nerve damage.
- Yeah.

Ow.

All right, I can't
guarantee anything,

but I know your mom,

and she loves you.

And why not give her a
shot to see if she can

make it right, you know?
What do you have to lose?

What if we do a collab
with Yung Gravy?

- Who?
- The rapper.

Yung Gravy? Oh,
that sounds good.

You hear that, Fink?
This guy's two for two.

- Oh, hey, man.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- I'm good!

- Love that shirt.
- Oh, thank you, love yours.

- That's great.
- That's a fun top.

: Yeah, see?

I love watching the
sausage getting made.

Yeah, hang out, have
fun. I'll see you later.

Oh, good, okay,
thanks. I will, I will.

You're gonna love this hair oil.

Got it from my girl,
she lives in Hawaii.

Okay, all right. Looks great.

Thank you.

'Lecia, look at you.

A goddess in her queendom.

My place of
employment? Really?

The perfect place for us to have
a deeply personal conversation.

I mean, I could take
you around the corner

to get a lemon poppyseed muffin.

No. How did you remember
that's my favorite?

Wait, what's your game?
What are you doing here?

What, you like, need money?

Since when have I ever
asked you for money?

So, what do you want?

Trying to get back
in my pants again?

That's not why I'm here.

Look, I'm giving up

- the whole stuntman life.

You love doing backflips
off motorcycles,

it's like your favorite
thing in the world.

- Why are you really here?
- I just said it.

I'm done, I'm out. I'm old.

- Dude, you're 28.
- That's my point.

That's, like, 85
in stuntman years.

And this last stunt, I
mean, it really took me out.

But me going through that wall,

it was the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Yeah, I ended up
in this hospital

with this old dude who
blasts Michael Bublé.

And at first, I was
like, yo, this sucks,

fake-a*s Sinatra.

But then, he put on
this song called "Home."

You know what it got
me thinking about?

- Let me guess... home?
- Yes.

But I realized that
when I think about home,

I think about Zacky.

Well, Zack and I
have been at home

without you for a long time,

and, um... we're
doing just fine.

I know, and I'm not
trying to crowd you.

I'd just...

like the chance to
be a part of it.

I'm moving back.

- You are?
- Yeah, yeah.

I got an apartment in
Everett and everything.

I just would love
to see you all more.

Okay, that's... That's
a lot to lay on me

right before I gotta fix a perm.

No needs to feel awkward
about the silence.

Silence allows us to reflect,

to go within.

I also don't want to
oversell the silence,

'cause this feels like
it's a little long now.

- Yeah, I'll start.
- Okay.

I would like to submit

that I skipped my
lunch break for this,

and she still has
not apologized.

Apologize for what? For what?

You have not explained what all
of my so-called failures are.

Well, I shouldn't
have to, should I?

'Cause those were
my private thoughts.

That's not admissible.

Oh, this is not a court
of law, I'm not really...

Did I fail when I
bought a new car

at an exorbitant rate

because you totaled
my beloved Volvo?

Did I fail when I forked
over 40 grand for your rehab?

Did I fail when I
let you off the hook

after you didn't come home
when your father was sick?

- No, no, no. No.

Those things are not
in your little book

of "reasons I'm mad."

Right, so I don't
know if you know

what the term "off
the hook" means,

'cause you're still
talking about it.

My question has
not been answered.

What did I do to
deserve such vitriol?

Because I am not responsible
for your alcoholism, Samantha.

Well, if you still see me

as that drunk from
two years ago,

then there's nothing to discuss.

Well, that
was a good start.

Okay, yeah, Zack loves his dad.

I mean, he's psyched when
Trent rolls into town

and takes him to a
movie where someone

gets their head chopped off,
and feeds him 14 Creamsicles.

But what happens when he gets
another Mountain Dew commercial

and leaves again?

What happens if he doesn't?

- Pete, we have sex.
- Yeah.

So you're supposed to be
on my side automatically.

No, no, no, I am.
I am.

I just, um...

Is there a chance that this
is good for you and Zacky?

Don't do that.

Don't act like you're
all deep and sh*t,

and got all the answers.

You don't know him
like I know him.

No, I-I don't.

And-and I don't want
to be an as*h*le here,

but...

What if he's changed?

You and Trent were
like, what, 19?

I mean, you were just kids.

Yep.

And I was the kid who
got stuck with a kid,

and he was the kid who got
to do whatever he wanted.

Hmm.

Look, if Trent wants to
spend more time with Zacky,

I think that's great.

But I'll believe
it when I see it.

I hope you get to see it.

Why don't you give him a shot?

Let him babysit, and
you and I can go out

for a little night on the town.

Will there be steak?

- You want steak?
- Yeah.

Then there'll be steak.

Sam, this stuff is great,

it's gonna be
perfect for New York.

I do want to change a
couple things, if you can...

Cool, yeah, I'll
get to that later.

What the hell,
are... you crying?

No. God, I'm just tired.

Sam, no, no. Sam, Sam, Sam.

Listen to me for one second.

As your mentor, I want
to just let you know

that you cannot cry at work.

You basically cried
to me last week.

It's a double standard,
I'm aware of that.

But when a man cries at work,

it is essentially him, like,
shedding his toxic masculinity,

and it's a show of
emotional strength.

- And you know...
- No, it's not.

Let's face it, we
both know that women

just get hammered.

They're emotional, they're
hysterical, and just...

Okay, I'm going for a walk.

Yeah, I know, Sam, it
is funny how allergies

look like crying.
Get some Claritin.

All right, guys, keep
it up. Great job.

I'm heading to New
York soon, so...

Hey.

Remember when I was 16
and my dad was sick,

and you said if I ever
needed anything...

Yeah. Come on.

Carol? Is
everything okay?

- Is Sam okay? Did she drink?
- No, no.

It's much worse.

She wrote 50 pages of
horrible things about me

because of your program.

And when I tried to discuss
it with her, she left.

And then you called me.

What do you want me to do?

Talk some sense
into her. Fix her.

Carol, the problem is you.

Excuse me? I love my daughter.

Oh, congratulations.

Look, Carol, I think you need
to go to our sister program.

It's for family and
friends of alcoholics.

Sam's been sober
for a while now.

You are the one that needs help.

And Carol, put down the shears.

I can hear you stress-gardening.

I swear the couch is
really, wildly comfortable.

Oh, yeah, I love this couch.

Oh, just, um...
Yeah, you can...

- I can, uh...
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, my parents

decided to dump
all my stuff here,

'cause I'm dead to them now.

Right.

Your mom's always so mad at you,

but this is a whole
new energy for me.

Oh, yeah. Don't worry,

I'll teach you everything
you need to know.

This is gonna be fun.

Yeah, like old times.

- Except without the puking.

- Ugh.
- Mm-hmm.

You okay?

I mean...

not really.

But I will be, I'll be fine.

You can stay here
as long as you want.

Thank you. I will.

Okay.

If you take out
more skateboards, just, like,

- put them in the garage, all right?
Got it, yep.

- Move, Dad.
- Okay.

Here's the number
for urgent care,

Poison Control, and
the pediatrician.

There's Brit's
number on there, too,

- in case of emergency.
- Got it.

Okay, and no screen
time after 9:00.

No screens.

You act like I've
never babysat before.

Look, we're gonna watch
three episodes of Naruto,

and then we're gonna
hit the hay, okay?

Okay.

Just don't do anything

you and I would have done, huh?

I won't.

- All right, I'm gonna go.
- All right.

- Zacky, I love you.
Love you, too.

All right,
how we doing, everybody?

I see a few stragglers.
Not surprised.

Fink, of course, late.

So, listen, I have good
news from Corporate.

They told me, "We
are going to double

your operating budget.
You k*lled it."

And I said, "No, I didn't
k*ll it, my team did."

So, I want you guys to feel
so good about yourselves.

Absolutely destroyed
this assignment,

and I want you guys
to just go nuts

and have a great time.

You guys earned this,
you worked so hard...

- Nathaniel...
- Yes, indeed.

Uh, all right.

I guess I got a
raise. Already.

And trust me, everyone
is gonna be getting

some really nice
Christmas bonuses,

or Hannukah bonuses,
whatever your thing.

Uh, all right. This
is not a raise.

I actually just got served...

by my wife.

Um, listen, everybody,

my wife has been, um...

intercourse-ing with
a New York Yankee.

But yeah, so she's been
sleeping with a Yankee,

and, um, I may have to just stay
in New York for a little bit.

But listen, all
great news tonight.

I could be back tomorrow.

None of us know what
tomorrow brings.

Jeff, I gave you a column,
and maybe tomorrow it's gone,

'cause you got mauled
by a... A squirrel,

and it had rabies, and
you... you're dead.

Or maybe David's having an
affair like my wife was,

and your wife decides
she's gonna stab you

in the neck with a, with
a pen, and you're dead.

Hey, maybe you should
take a walk, you know?

- Just hang up and...
- Thank you, Sam, yes.

I am gonna take a walk.

I'll talk to you guys
soon. I'm hanging up.

Oh, my God!

Why, God?!

Oh, no, Karen!

Oh, God!

I'll...
I'll leave the...

Goddammit...

'Cause we can do
it, too. Okay.

Well, that was fun.

This'll be nice. One
less dish to clean.

God forbid she
should wash a plate.

I-I've seen her
wash plates before.

Well, I have not, and
I've been living with her

a lot longer than you have.

Go, eat. I'm not hungry.

Carol, I have to say something.

You're in the wrong.

Excuse me?

- You're in the wrong.
- Mm, that's not possible.

You never should have
read her journal.

And you should apologize.

I'm... I'm sorry.
It's the truth.

No, wait. I'm not sorry.

I have to stop saying "sorry"
for things I'm not sorry for.

Bob, dear? It's been
a very long day.

Why don't you go
restring your ukulele?

All right.

Karen, what's up, baby?
It's-it's me, your Nate-Nate.

I'm in Poughkeepsie, New York,

on a Balance Brothers retreat.

Tell her how
you feel, bro.

Yeah, listen. Baby,
I'm getting, like,

into a real primeval mindset.

Open up.
- I am, okay? Just...

I'm just... I want you
to know that I know

that I got a lot of work to do,

and it's work that
I want to do, okay?

Yeah, why should
she believe you?

'Cause I've changed.
I've changed, baby!

All right? I left
Boston, I came back here.

I'm gonna hunker down
with these warriors,

and I'm gonna make progress,

and it's gonna come from
the heart, all right?

Let-let me be your only Yankee.

Let me be your Yankee, I'm
gonna bat a thousand for you.

I know I hurt you. I
want to make this right.

I'm gonna put rose
petals on the bed.

I'm gonna make the swan
towels like you like.

- All right, Nate. Wrap it up.
- What's that? Okay, yeah.

So, I gotta go.

That was Coach Kevin,
we're going kayaking,

so I'm gonna go do that.

And when I come back, I'm
gonna be a changed man.

I love you. And
also, real quick,

Nestor, you're dead!

I'm gonna k*ll you!