01x03 - I'm Sorry, But...

[bunniefuu]

♪ Riding through the city on my
bike all day 'cause the filth ♪

♪ Took away my license,
it doesn't get me down... ♪

Oh, my God, they're
doing karaoke here now.

We are so coming back
to sing our asses off.

Yeah, for sure.
[chuckles] For sure.

♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ Would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪

♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ Would I wanna be
anywhere else? ♪

‐♪ When you look
with your eyes ♪
‐Oh...

♪ Everything seems nice... ♪

Long Island Iced Tea.

♪ You can see it's all lies ♪

♪ There was a little old lady ♪

♪ Who was walking
down the road... ♪

Hey Ronnie, can I get
another club soda?

♪ There were people
from the city having lunch... ♪

Is it always this sticky?

♪ That is called al fresco... ♪

Yeah, it's a bar.

You want to close out your check
while you're at it?

Yeah, sure.

♪ Hits her over the head... ♪

Got it. Here you go.

♪ 'Cause he's got all her
jewelry and wallet... ♪

Four dollars a pop? For this?

Yeah. Sober doesn't mean free,
all right?

I'm running a business.

[chuckles]

♪ Walkin' round London town ♪

♪ Sun is in the sky,
oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ Would I wanna be... ♪

For you.

You charge for these, or...

Those are, uh, for the drinks.

Oh. I didn't get any in mine.
Weird.

♪ When you look with your eyes ♪

♪ Everything seems nice ♪

Mmm.

♪ But if you look twice ♪

♪ You can see it's all lies. ♪

♪ You are what dreams... ♪

What? You too good for
Sally's wings now or something?

[chuckles] No, they just, um...

‐they don't taste
like they used to, I guess.
‐Mm.

♪ Dreams come true... ♪

I'm so glad you're back.

‐It's like the old days again.
‐Yeah.

Yeah, you know, I'm actually,
I'm‐I'm supposed to get

my 30‐day chip soon, so...

Really?
Oh, my God.

You're such a star student.

Well, we'll see.

♪ Dreams come true. ♪

♪ ♪

Sam. Hey, thought you were
gonna share today?

‐Oh, I'm too hungover.
‐Excuse me?

No, not hungover, hungover.
Just emotionally hungover.

Went out with my
friend last night

and spent $40 on club sodas.

‐Did you know about this?
‐Yes, but why were you there?

I don't know,
it's just, like, our spot.

It's where we always go.

Well, a bar
is an endurance test.

You are so close to 30 days.

Maybe find joy in things
that aren't triggering.

Uh‐huh. Like what?
What do you do?

On Mondays, I go to the movies.

‐Tuesdays, it's, uh, Jog Club.
‐Ugh.

Wednesdays, I have sex
with my wife.

Thursdays, uh...
well, this Thursday

we have an IVF appointment.
And, uh,

Friday, I'm going to meet
with my sponsor and she will

talk me down off the ledge
about that IVF appointment,

and on the weekend I hang out
with Vinny and the boys.

They're this incredible group
of lesbians.

I've known them forever.

Anyway, what do you like to do?

Sober?
I don't know.

Hang out with friends
that don't hate me.

You're s‐you're still early.
You'll get to amends.

Most of my friends forgave me.

‐And the ones that didn't...
‐Well, their loss, right?

[scoffs]
God, no. Mine.

Uh‐huh.

And, uh, these amends‐‐
they're just like

‐a big apology, right?
‐No.

Uh, an apology is words.

An amends is action.

"I'm‐I'm sorry" is like
jumping over a puddle.

An amends is rebuilding
a bridge you blew up.

I should probably
give an amends to Brit.

No, no, no, no, no.
It's way too early for amends.

‐You cannot do that
until you've changed.
‐Yeah, but I have changed.

‐[short chuckle]
‐I have. I make my bed, I floss,

‐I do all the stuff.
‐Sam, listen,

the steps are in order
for a reason.

Let's just stay away from people

and places that we find
triggering right now.

Got it.
No triggers.

Very good.

[phone vibrates]

All right.

‐Have fun with Vinny
and the boys.
‐No triggers.

[engine starts]

CAROL:
Sam, don't eat that.

Those are for the book club.

I spend a lot of money
on the snacks

and they get judgy when
they don't have fancy cheese.

Well, you know, I could get you
a discount at Giovanni's.

Ah, that'd be great.

Uh, those are the... those
are the exact same pillows.

‐You know that, right?
‐Look.

It's my first time hosting
since your return.

I would like some normalcy.

And, like I said‐‐

‐judgy.
‐Yeah, you seem super normal.

Samantha...

Hmm?

I haven't shared

your situation with the group,

so here's the plan.

I hope it doesn't come up,
but if it does,

why don't we say

you got moved to digital
at Bzzzzzzzzzz

so you could work from anywhere

and nobody knows
what digital means anyway.

Uh‐huh. Yeah, sure, or you
could just tell them the truth

'cause I'm about to get
my 30‐day chip

and it's, like,
kind of a big deal, so...

And, of course,

that works, too.

Napkins.

♪ ♪

JOEL: Happy birthday
to my fianc‐bae!

Milkshakes are on me
@rollerland!

♪ Move your body ♪

♪ Move, move your body ♪

♪ Move your body,
move, move... ♪

‐I want Rollerblades this time.
‐No blades.

I got to get you doing the
"Savage Love" dance for TikTok.

Skates all the way, baby.

I'm really glad you texted.

‐I thought you were dodging me.
‐Oh.

Yeah, sorry about that.
But, like, you know,

who doesn't love
Roller Land, right?

‐Right?
‐Yeah.

‐Yeah.
‐Yeah.

Mom, I'm hungry.

Oh, well, God, we got to fix
that ASAP, then, huh?

Um, are you cool to watch him?
I'm gonna go get a snack,

maybe have a little chat
with the cute concessions guy,

you know?
Get my 10,000 hours in.

‐Do your thing.
‐Have fun, baby!

All right.

♪ If you move like we do,
but I got to... ♪

DEEJAY [over P. A.]:
And we have a birthday
here today.

Let's give a happy birthday
to Brittany!

[cheering]

‐MAN: Happy birthday!
‐WOMAN: Happy birthday, girl!

‐I love you.
‐DEEJAY: Brittany,
let's see your best

Cupid Shuffle.

BRIT:
We're dancing, right now.

MAN:
What's your size, kid?

Size four.

In blades, please.

And you, ma'am?

Seven, eight,
whatever you've got's fine.

Thanks.
Let's go!

‐We got to put our skates on.
‐I‐I think

‐we can just...
‐We're putting our skates on,
let's go.

‐We don't have to put skates on.
‐No, we're... Come‐come on.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Joel.

Sam.
What are you doing here?

Oh, this is my godson, Zacky.

We're here to skate.

It's Zack, not Zacky.

Right. Yeah, Zack said he wanted
to come to Roller Land today

and I was like,
"You got it, kid." So...

Pretty sure that's
not what happened.

It is.
An adult is saying it.

Uh, do you want
some extra tokens, buddy?

♪ ♪

Three. Cool.

‐So, you good?
‐Yeah.

I'm actually glad to see you.

You know, after we ran into you
at the grocery store

‐I‐I just started feeling bad.
‐Why?

'Cause it was awkward.
I mean, it's weird to see

somebody you've known
your whole life

and ask them for deli meat.

Yeah. Well, try serving
someone deli meat

you've known your whole life.
It's actually way worse.

Well, this is feeling
pretty good right now.

‐It is. It's a bit...
a bit better, yeah.
‐Less awkward.

‐You here by yourself?
‐Uh, no, I came with Brit.

Oh, Brit's here.

Yeah, it's actually
her birthday.

But...

You already know that.
Okay,

no.
I‐I can't get involved

with the two of you, all right?
Please don't

‐do this on her birthday.
‐It's a good thing.

I'm here to make an amends.

Sam...

with all due respect, uh...

you have the shittiest timing
of anyone I've ever met.

You should go.

BRIT:
Sam?

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Could you give us a second?

Sure.
Um, I will just

go play with this random kid
that I just met.

Hey.

‐Hi.
‐Hi.

Um, I'm sorry,
you look gorgeous.

Did you get my Venmo?

Yeah.

‐[laughing]
‐Well, I read this so fast.

You know, it really
made me examine

how trauma is passed
between the generations.

Exactly. Even if you don't know
you're causing trauma, you are.

Were you able to discuss this
with Samantha?

No.

Not yet, no.

Gosh, her schedule's
really busy.

Oh, well, what is she doing?

She's working

at a job.

And on herself.
Uh, any other thoughts?

Anyone?
On the book?

‐[doorbell rings]
‐Oh!

Excuse me.

[whispering]:
I have so many thoughts.

Hi.
Does Samantha Fink live here?

Yes.
Who are you?

Her probation officer.

Here for
a residence verification.

So, help me understand.

‐Mm‐hmm.
‐Uh, the state can just show up

whenever they please?
You people don't think

anyone's living a life?

Ma'am, I got a lot of houses
to get to.

Can I just see a gas bill?

[whispering]:
Okay. You can come in.

‐I have guests.
‐Okay.

Mm. That's nice.

I got to pee, got to pee,
got to pee...

Oh, hey. Hi!

‐Hey.
‐I'm Bob.

I'm Gail.

‐Hi, Gail.
‐Just waiting for Ms. Fink.

Oh, okay, well, we got a
book club going if you'd like

‐to snag a snack while you wait.
‐Oh, my God, thank you...

You... Actually,
she asked me to wait here,

and I have a policy of not

snooping around white folks'
house without their permission.

[laughs]

I have the same policy.

But Carol would
be so upset if I was

the only one
who ate these snacks.

‐Come on in, come on in.
‐Oh.

‐The cream puffs are to die for.
‐Oh, okay. Wait,

‐now, do you have a Lactaid?
'Cause I'm‐a need it.
‐I can find you one.

‐Thank you.
‐Everybody, this is Gail.

ALL:
Hi.

I'm just for the gas bill,
quick and painless.

Well... there's a spot
right here.

‐Come, sit down.
‐Welcome.

‐Yeah, come.
‐Thank you.

‐I'm gonna go to the bathr...
‐Can I speak to you

‐in the kitchen for a minute?
‐Sure.

GAIL:
I don't know
what I'm doing here,

but I never turn down
a charcuterie.

What are you doing?
That's Sam's probation officer.

She's a delight.
She fits right in.

I don't need
book club discussing

Sam's weird relationship
with alcohol.

If you're ever gonna discuss it,
this is the place.

These are your friends.

They're my book club.

Okay, then, in that case,
why's it matter?

I don't know.
I don't know.

I just wanted to have a place

where I could sit and talk
with smart people about books

and take a little vacation
from thinking about Samantha

all the time.

All right.
I get that. I get it.

Okay?
And you are not alone in this.

All right?

We're all far from perfect.

Thank you.

I really got to pee.

[indistinct chatter]

‐What do you want?
‐Listen, I'm try...

I'm just... I'm really
trying to take this sobriety

more seriously this time,
and I...

I owe you an amends.

Oh. Okay.

Uh, okay, yeah, right now.
Here we go.

Uh, right. So...

so, you were there, uh,

when I couldn't be,
when my dad was sick,

and I‐I really appreciate that.

Yeah, no problem.

I was happy to help.

And, um...

...also, New York.
New York.

I‐I'm so sorry
that I ghosted you

when you came to visit me
in New York.

That was so messed‐up.
I mean...

But, to be fair,
you were dating my ex

and treating me like sh*t
at the time, and...

Anyway, uh...

Oh, speaking of that.
I'm really sorry

about all those texts
that I sent you

when I found out about you guys.

It was, like,
way too aggressive.

And, you know, women shouldn't

go after other women and
just leave the guy out of it,

but you were my best friend,
so that was like,

"Is she serious?"
Uh... anyway, uh,

also really sorry
about that time

I puked on all the coats
and the bags at that party

‐and then blamed it on you,
‐On me.

‐but...
‐But, but, right. Um, Sam...

Sorry, I'm just... I'm, like,
really trying to apologize.

Yeah, but this‐this
isn't an apology.

Apologies don't have "buts."
Sam, I just...

I really needed today.
I have worked



I've pulled 38 items
out of body crevices.

I am always covered
in bodily fluid. I...

‐Ugh. That's what you do?
‐Oh, my God!

Sam!
You never listen to me.

Okay, sorry. I'm sorry.
Can we j‐can we just start over?

Why? Why do you care
if I forgive you?

I don't know.
It feels...

important.

What the hell?

Is Brit bothering you again?

‐What'd you say to her?
‐Oh, my God,

Felicia, stop
with the mafia act.

Wait, where's my kid?

Oh, he's with Joel.
I just...

I needed to talk to her
for a second.

‐Why?
‐It's my birthday.

Mm, you would be a Pisces.

Oh, so that's the reason
you dragged us here.

‐No, uh, that's not
the only reason...
‐No, you didn't

want to hang out with me
and Zack, you just needed a ride

because you can't drive a car
and you threw up

in so many Lyfts that
you have a 1.8 rating. [scoffs]

You made me drive all the way
to Roller Land so you could

chat with the girl
who's marrying your ex.

‐[scoffs] I'm done.
Honestly, Sam.
‐Felicia.

‐Zack. Zack!
‐Okay.

I waited 25 minutes in line
to get you a corn dog

with no condiments, just like
you like it, you weirdo.

And he's wearing blades!

‐What the hell
is wrong with you?
‐W...

‐FELICIA: Come on, baby.
‐No, no, no, Joel made him
wear the blades.

‐Okay. Felicia.
‐FELICIA: Got it?

Felicia, you can't just
leave me here.

Oh, like how you left my kid?

Come on, Zack, we'll get you
some ice cream, okay?

[door closes]

You know what?
People told me this

‐and I didn't want to
believe it.
‐Believe what?

That you just see me
as your drinking buddy.

Okay, no. [scoffs]

But, I mean,
it's a little true, right?

'Cause, like, the only place
we ever hung out

was Good Time Sally's.

Because it was your suggestion.

Okay?
I'm a full‐time mom.

And a full‐time employee.
I got real‐life sh*t on my mind.

So when you name a place,
I got to

get a sitter, I got to
move a bunch of sh*t around,

but I do that because it's you.

And I appreciate that, okay?
Why don't we go inside and talk?

‐He left his shoes.
‐You know, I would just love

to just, like, rip my bra off
and sit on the couch

and watch some mindless TV
with you.

That would be so wonderful.

There's, like,
seven seasons of Summer House

we could binge, but no‐‐

you don't want to do that
because you don't know

how to be an actual friend.

[door opens]

[engine starts]

FELICIA:
Buckle up, Zack.

‐Oh, come on.
‐Auntie Sammy needs a time‐out.

Uh, Felicia... I'm sorry, okay?
Wha...

What am I supposed to do now?

♪ Someday ♪

♪ You may ♪

♪ Forget me ♪

♪ Well, that's okay with me. ♪

‐[laughing]
‐Oh. Okay, I'm sorry, I have
overstayed my welcome.

I actually wasn't planning
on staying this long.

NOREEN:
It was nice to meet you, Gail.

How do you know Carol again?

Oh, we know each other
from work.

Actually, Gail knows Samantha.

CAROL:
Right. Sam

was in New York,

and she moved into digital,
and... you know,

because you can do that
from... from anywhere.

‐So...
‐What does digital mean?

Like, how does that work?

Digital.

What does that mean?

It's...

Digital.
It's online, it's computers.

It's just...
How do you not know that?

Samantha broke the law.
She's a felon.

My daughter is a felon.

Gail is her probation officer.

‐What?
‐CAROL: Are you all happy now?

‐No.
‐Not really.

That felt so good
to say out loud.

Oh, yeah, girl.
The truth'll set you free.

‐[exhales]
‐BOB: C‐Can you share with us

what‐what's coming up for you?

I'm‐I'm... There's just
something bubbling up.

Something... I...

‐I feel like I want to die.
‐ALL: No.

Well, I mean, I'm not an expert,

but I'm pretty sure
you're feeling anger.

CAROL:
You know what? I...

I think it's anger.

I think maybe it's anger.

I think maybe I'm full of rage!

‐[screaming]
‐[all clamoring]

[Carol exhales]

Hmm.

That felt good.
[laughs]

Thank you for sharing with us.

It really meant a lot.
Right, guys?

Sorry that you're
going through so much.

Good for you, Carol.

You're walking in your truth.

I am.

‐Very good.
‐[whooping]

Barbara... Oh.

Just kidding. [chuckles]
Terrible joke.

[low whoops]

You should be proud of yourself.

Yeah.

It feels bad and good
at the same time.

Oh, that means it's working.

Yay, me.
[short chuckle]

Show up for the people
that matter

and they will start
showing up for you.

Yay, you.

Celine. [whoops]

Yes! You did it.

["What Is Going On?"
by Hannah Jadagu playing]

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Woke up from a dream... ♪

Hey.

Um, sorry, could I talk to you
for a second?

Well, I'm up next to sing,

so you've got however long
it takes for this song to finish

‐to say what you need to say.
‐Okay.

Fair enough.
[clears throat]

Um...

look, you were right.
You know?

I‐I did see you
as my drinking buddy.

Which is my problem, you know?
I was the one that felt like

they had to drink, and... and
it doesn't make sense, 'cause

you're, like, the most
responsible person I know.

I mean, you're
my emergency contact.

That's how dependable you are.

♪ The same... ♪

I... I know that
I took you for granted,

and I feel really bad about it.
I'm‐I'm really sorry,

and I don't... I don't ever
want to do that to you again.

You don't deserve it.

♪ Or are you... ♪

Go on.

[chuckles]

♪ About... ♪

All right, let's see.
You have, uh,

the best high pony
in Greater Boston.

‐That is true.
‐And

you are the sexiest mom
I've ever laid eyes on.

Don't flatter me, Samantha.

And don't even get me started
on the tatas.

They are God's greatest gift
to me, huh?

And to me as well.

♪ It reeks of such
conformative... ♪

Oh, one more thing.

Zack's shoes?

I thought we left these
at the roller rink.

How'd you get them?

Well, you know, I'm banned
from all rideshares,

but taxis still take cash, so...

All right.
I'm sorry.

Hey, whatever happened
to the chip thing?

Oh, uh...

Got it.

It's an actual chip.

Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.

That's amazing.

Thank you.

Hopefully, it means
I'm inching towards

being a bit less of an as*h*le.

We'll see.

♪ There's always gonna be
another mountain ♪

[mumbling]: ♪ Always gonna
wanna make it move ♪

♪ There's always gonna be
an uphill battle ♪

[mumbling]: ♪ Sometimes
I'm gonna have to lose ♪

♪ It ain't about
how fast I get there ♪

♪ Ain't about what's waiting
on the other

♪ Side ♪

♪ It's the climb ♪

Hey, everybody,
my friend is 30 days sober!

[cheering]

I love you.

[laughing]: I love you, too.

‐Oh...
‐♪ Always gonna be
another mountain ♪

♪ Always gonna wanna
make it move ♪

♪ There's always gonna be
an uphill battle ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm gonna
have to lose ♪

♪ Ain't about ♪

♪ How fast I get there ♪

♪ Ain't about what's waiting
on the other ♪

♪ Side ♪

♪ It's the climb ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪
[blows raspberry]

[cheering]