01x06 - Nobody Likes a Ninja

[bunniefuu]

[epic music playing]

No!

Whoa. These are real Ninja!

[Spot] Mm. Mm?

Hey, Chizu?

We're all over here.

On this side. The good guy side.

The not-Ninja side?

Usagi.

She's a Ninja.

[gasps]

What?

[theme music playing]

What?

I'm sorry.

I tried to get you all
out of here before they came.

I knew you were overqualified
to sweep this place.

And underqualified to be a friend!

Chizu, you were told
to leave the temple undefended.

Dispose of these obstacles.

[sighs]

[suspenseful music playing]

[whooshing]

[whooshing]

What?

I… I won't do it.

I won't hurt them.

Not for you or anyone.

I raised you since before you could walk
and this is how you thank me?

We're family!

-You kidnapped me from an orphanage.
-[Lady Fuwa] So?

No one else wanted you, Chizu.

What happens to your friends now
is on your head.

-[clangs]
-[grunts]

-[gasps]
-[clangs]

Ikuzo!

Hyah! [grunts]

-[clangs]
-[grunting]

Stand back! I'm clear cutting.

[whirring]

[buzzing]

Here we go!

-Hyah!
-[grunting]

Nailed it! [screams]

[propulsive music playing]

Mm? Yeep!

[grunting]

[playful music]

[squeaking]

-[Spot grunts]
-[yelps]

-Tokage feet in my eye!
-Huh.

[mumbles, grunts]

[thuds]

-Uh.
-That one's yours.

Hiya! Huh?

[grunting]

[grunts] Oh!

[grunts]

[propulsive music playing]

[yelps]

Ah!

-[tinkling]
-[sparkling]

[gasps]

[boom]

Oh.

[tense music playing]

[grunts] Hey, give me some room.

Can't. Because we're losing.

[tense music continues]

[grunts]

[yelp]

[whooshing]

[gasps]

[all grunting]

[Tetsujin] This whole attack is pointless.

You, Neko Ninja,
can't use the Ki-Stone anyway.

You don't know its secrets.

Don't I, Tetsujin?

[Tetsujin] Lady Fuwa.

I see you're still mad
that I broke up with you.

[all groan in disgust]

What? I broke up with you.

And I only ever went out with you
in the first place to find out about this.

You have the Scroll of Secrets?

But how?

How? How, I ask you?

Obviously, she took it.

To free the stone from its mooring,

lift from the four compass points at once.

[blast]

[grunts]

[laughs] Was the part about
"never touch the Ki-Stone"

not in the scroll?

-Quick!
-[grunting]

-[grunts]
-[gasps]

[grunts]

-[grunting]
-[clanging]

[propulsive music playing]

[grunting]

You have promise.

Thanks. I've been training.

Sorry. I meant you have my promise
that you're going to die.

[grunting]

[Usagi] Hyah! Hyah!

[grunts]

[thuds]

[lively music playing]

[whooshing]

[grunts]

[straining]

[electricity crackling]

[blasting]

[grunting]

[sparkling]

No! My beautiful fur.

Another day.

Chizu, your payback will be painful

and it will require a large cleanup team.

[ominous music plays]

[door slams shut]

A Ninja spy?

Explain yourself or I squash you!

[stammering]

I'm sorry. I--

I did as I was told.

The Neko Ninja Crew
is all I've ever known.

I was brought up on fear and threats.

Until I infiltrated this temple,
I never knew kindness,

or friendship candy.

It's a good thing you still have it,
'cause you're not getting any more.

I wanted to tell you about the attack,

but I was afraid
of what Lady Fuwa might do. I…

I'm sorry.

A plant may sprout
from a crack in the street,

but it can only thrive in healthy soil.

Normally I hate farming metaphors,
but that's a good one.

This isn't over.

Lady Fuwa still has the scroll.

The Scroll of Secrets?

[laughing]

That was my little prank
back when Fu-Fu and I were dating.

[disgusted groans]

Oh, grow up.

I was worried
that she might be after the Ki-Stone,

so I made a fake, old-timey scroll
and casually mentioned it to her.

So years later,
she sent Chizu here to take the bait.

[Tetsujin] Yep.

With a Neko Ninja,
you've got to think a few years ahead.

Anyway, they can never steal the Ki-Stone.

It's 100% immovable,
locked to the Earth's magnetic field.

It will be all right, Chizu.

They'll forgive you eventually,
and Kitsune…

-[door closes]
-[Tetsujin] Uh oh.

[Chizu] She shouldn't be out alone.

Lady Fuwa wants revenge.

We all need to be ready. We need to start
sleeping in shifts and maintain--

You don't get to boss anyone around.
Why would we listen to you?

-But the Ninja will find--
-I don't want to hear it.

You just betrayed everyone
who cares about you.

We don't need you.

But we have to stick together!

-Actually, I gotta go too.
-[Spot] Yeep!

If I defeat those Yokai and get trained up
by Karasu-Tengu, I can protect all of us.

-[whooshing]
-[gasps]

Duty calls.

You're still going to let me… work here?

Yeah. But no New Year's bonus.

You never gave me one anyway.

You do not need to say anything to me.

But Kitsune, you broke her heart.

Maybe go find her,

bring her a present or something.

[Usagi] Ugh, I'm not picking up
anything on the yo-yo.

There's never a Yokai around
when you're hunting them.

[Gen] Can you believe Chizu?

I mean, I can handle betrayal,
but Kitsune?

She looked really hurt.

You should help me find Yokai.
It'll give you something to do.

Okay, but I gotta do
this stupid advertising gig first.

Why you gotta work so much?

To pay back the Bat Squadron.

Which is partly because of you.

Oh, right. My bad.

Ah, It's a short shift.
I'll help you after.

Okay, I'm looking for Giman,
the Deception Yokai.

It changes shape.

And Sakuran, the Distraction Yokai.
It possesses objects.

So either one could look like anything.

Probably something deceptive
or distracting.

[Gen] Everything distracts you, farm boy.

Oh, come on, that's not--

Ooh my gosh, it's a trolley! [laughs]

I wasn't distracted,
I was just momentarily focused on--

Ooh, a bird!

[intriguing music playing]

Kitsune!

Kitsune? Where are you going?

Wait, wait, wait. You have to forgive me.

[gasps] Not happening.
Our whole friendship is one big lie.

It's not a lie and--

Come on, I didn't destroy you all
like I was ordered to.

That's your defense?

"I didn't destroy you!"

That's all you've got?

Please.

Please, tell me what I can do
to make this better.

There is one thing.

[gasps]

Never talk to me again.

I… um…

brought you a present. [chuckles]

Are these the knives
that the Ninja threw at us?

Those are good blades. Top quality.

So your idea of a "gift"
is a bunch of stuff that almost did me in?

When you say it like that,
it sounds, um, less thoughtful.

But look at the edge on this kunai.

I can't look at your knife
when it's stuck in my back.

Uh…

[plaintive music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, Mayumi!

Hey, you, rhino guy,
whom I obviously know,

based on your expression.

-Shoes.
-I want those shoes.

-[thuds]
-[grunting]

[gasps]

This is your… advertising gig?

Mayumi sends people to Hashimoto Alley,
I send them to Kobayashi Alley.

We kind of keep score.

Give me an hour
and we can go look for Yokai.

[gasps]

[upbeat electronica music playing]

[exhales, grunts]

[chuckles]

Hashimoto Alley! Right this way.

-[customer 1] Shoes.
-[customer 2] I want those shoes.

Best bargains at Kobayashi Alley!

Best bargains at Kobayashi Alley!

[upbeat music plays]

[Spot] Yeep-yeep!

-What amazing shoes!
-Great!

-Oh my gosh.
-I have to have those shoes.

Not bad, Mayumi.

Oh my gosh. What amazing shoes.

-Shoes.
-Must have those shoes.

[customer] Shoes.
I want those shoes. Shoes go on feet!

She is shoe… I mean, good.

[rattling]

Spot, look. There's a Yokai nearby!

Yeep. Yeep-yeep.

I don't see anything here that looks
obviously, you know, Yokai-ish.

I mean, I…

-[rattling]
-I…

I really want those shoes.

That's what I'm after!

[grunts]

No, pastries.

I need pastries.

It's all I can think about!

Really, guy?

How does that sign keep changing?

And why is it so… distracting…

D-d-d-distracting!

The sign is Sakuran,

-the Distraction Yokai!
-Yeep!

[airy music playing]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[upbeat arcade music playing]

Kitsune!

Kitsune!

[bell dings]

[engines humming]

[bell dings]

[engines revving]

[grunts]

Whoa.

[gasps]

-Hyah!
-[sounds slow down]

[screams in slow motion]

[buzzing]

-Yah!
-[thuds]

Gen, it's a Sign-Yokai.

-Not now, I'm--
-No, for real!

Sakuran is a Sign-Yokai.
And it's possessing Mayumi.

Just like that Hat-Yokai
possessed Lord Kogane.

Hey, I'm working here.

-[grunts]
-[Gen] Why don't you use your sword?

I don't want to hurt Mayumi.

[grunts] Ikuzo!

[lively music playing]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Whoa!

Yokai, I know you're in there! Yah!

[grunts]

Hi. I'm Sakuran, your Distraction Yokai.

I know you are.

Karasu-Tengu sent me to defeat you.

Ugh, the crow lady? Hate her!

Hey, instead of defeating me,

wouldn't you rather
buy this lovely bracelet?

So… pretty.

[shakes jowls] No! I have to eat…
No, I have to defeat… something.

[Sakuran] Maybe you should defeat…

[in advertising voice] …bad breath!

Ugh, yeah. Maybe you're right.

[grunts]

-[saw buzzing]
-I'm gonna shred you, sign!

[yells]

-[grunts]
-[buzzing stops]

[Spot chirping]

[Sakuran] Good boys deserve
chewy treats. Get your treat today!

[slurps]

[chirps]

I mean, honestly?
Those treats did look pretty good.

[groans]

-[grunts]
-[Sakuran] A true samurai

needs true samurai weapons!

Man, that's a nice sword.

[arcade music plays]

[Kitsune grunting]

Gotcha!

-[bang]
-[groans]

[engine revving]

Weapons! I gotta have them!

[shakes jowls]

Huh?
I've got to stop looking at those ads.

[Sakuran] You cannot help yourself.
The distraction is irresistible!

Behold. The mightiest of dartboards!

[traditional music playing]

[gasps]
My ancestor doesn't belong on a dartboard.

Unless it's a respectful
tribute dartboard,

which isn't a thing.

I will defeat you!

-[Usagi yells]
-[thuds]

[Sakuran, in advertising voice]
Wouldn't you like a yogurt?!

Karasu-Tengu will become my sensei!

[Sakuran, in advertising voice]
The fanciest of all hats!

And I will become a samurai
like Miyamoto Usagi.

And I will clear his name!

-[Usagi grunts]
-[Sakuran laughs tauntingly]

[Sakuran] What? Ooh!

Ikuzo!

-[yells]
-[slashing]

[tense music playing]

[grunts]

-Hyah!
-[Sakuran screams]

Let me go!

[confused whimpering]

[grunting]

[Sakuran straining]

Hey! Look at that airship!

Do you guys hear sirens?
What kind of bird is that?

-Stop trying to distract us.
-Are you running a fever?

Am I? Do I look flushed?

Ah! What color is my tongue?

-[shrieks]
-[grunts]

-[Gen screaming]
-Gen! Come on, man.

Wow, he was easy.

Yeah, no. You say "sniffles" to him
and, boom, he's at the hospital.

[upbeat arcade music continues]

[grunts]

-[loud clanging]
-[both grunt]

-[groans]
-[machine dinging]

[jumping ba*ls giggling]

[sighs, chuckles]

Friends again?

Don't even.

[gentle music playing]

Three visits in one week. So happy.

What are today's symptoms, Gen?

I have a fever, I'm flushed,
and my tongue is the wrong color.

-I think I have another invisible rash.
-Oh, Gen.

You're such a good patient.

So good.

[whimsical music playing]

Uh-oh! What's this?

It's a buzz saw horn.

[Shiba Inu 1] Aha!

Attachment disorder.

We have a diagnosis.

This time, you need surgery for sure.

♪ When in doubt we cut it out ♪

♪ Surgery, almost free ♪

♪ Maybe you're just fine inside
But still we want to see ♪

Ooh! Dibs on the appendix.

Yay!

Wait, do rhinos even have appendixes?

Only one way to find out!

[cackling]

[terrifying music cl*max]

Ah, ah!

There it is.

Rhinos do have appendixes.

I knew it!

Yay, appendixes!

Wait, which side is my appendix on?

I don't know, let's check the appendices.

Yay, appendices.

-[snoring softly]
-[Usagi] Oh! Look out!

Ah! I wasn't sleeping!

[Sakuran]
How about some mochi ice cream?

[grunts] Coming through, coming through.

Oh. Hey, Spot.

[licking]

[panting]

-[Sakuran] Who wants to do a sing-along?
-[Usagi grunts]

Urban Yokai number two of three!

[Sakuran screams]

-[powerful music  builds]
-[grunts]

[traditional music playing]

[whooshing]

[tense music plays]

[slashing]

[footsteps approaching]

[lively music playing]

-[slashing]
-[thuds]

[weapons clattering]

[tense music playing]

[doors creaking]

[whooshing]

[grunts]

[Usagi groans]

[Spot] Yeep!

[Usagi breathing heavily]

[groans]
That hurts a little more every time.

Did you see your ancestor again?

He snuck into a palace,
but he didn't hurt anyone.

Well, maybe a couple of guards,
but he must have had a reason.

And, he didn't m*rder the Shogun,
I'm sure of it.

The past never makes sense
until you have the whole story.

Like, okay, here's the whole deal
on me and Lady Fuwa.

Every detail.

I like 'em fit and fuzzy. Always have.

So, we are both…

-[Usagi] Leaving now!
-Huh?

[lively music playing]

[Chikabuma] Go, man, go!

[expl*si*n]

Keep it up.

You guys are doing great!

More to the left.

I'm gonna have lunch brought in
so we can keep working, okay?

Go, man.

[expl*si*n]

Chikabuma, you creatures generate a force

much greater than I would have guessed.

It's a scientific mystery, baby.

And FY-Information,

calling us "creatures"
is kind of off-putting.

[ominous music playing]

That is a lot of gold, man.

We gotta dig that out.

No!

Continue moving forward!

[wheezing] We are close
to reaching the item I need.

The key to everything!

The Clavis!

But it is gold!

[chuckles]

Yeah.

When I activate the item,

such things as gold
will no longer have value.

[wheezing]

All you know will change.

Yeah, and I'll be on top.

Chikabuma!

[closing theme music playing]