02x08 - Auction

[bunniefuu]

SHE SIGHS

Right.

Everlasting

Never changing

Problem you have

Stuck in my head ♪

VOMITING

I am older now

So I sing soft

and low Hear me out

I'm still

sketching it out ♪

ALARM SOUNDS

I want to paint you a picture

Of a happy family ♪

PHONE SPEAKER: 'Inhaling

calmly through the nose.'

SHE INHALES

'Exhaling gently

through the mouth.'

SHE EXHALES HEAVILY

'Repeating the affirmation - I

envision a joy-filled birth.'

I envision a joy-filled birth.

'I envision an easeful,

blissful, pain-free experience.'

I envision an easeful, blissful

pain-free experience.

'I envision my birth canal opening

to an ecstatic celebration of'

Oh, f*ck off.

Sure you don't wanna come in?

I want to paint

you a picture ♪

Let's get this over with.

EDDIE: The sofas and chairs,

need to clear the whole room, OK?

Sorry, Tom, gonna

need that table.

What, this table? Yeah.

Creating light and space.

That's what bidders want.

Great, lads. Ta.

Getting real now, isn't it?

Her stuff's in the bedroom.

Can't believe they're

really doing this.

No, me neither.

Nice one - getting out of

actually having to do anything.

Guess I'll just deal with Mum

being a total f*cking basket case.

How is Mum?

Total f*cking basket case.

So Australia.

Yeah. Well, I didn't

get the bursary, so

Does Alex know you're

back on the piss?

I'm

Yeah, Alex knows everything.

We both think a

change is healthy.

How long you going for?

It's a three-month visa,

so we'll see how it goes.

So you you might

be back for the baby?

They keep asking me

about birthing partners.

Oh, my God, did you w

did you want me to

Oh, no, Jesus, I need

someone I can trust.

You know what I mean.

Well, what about Mum or Dad?

Like I've told them.

You haven't told Mum and Dad yet?

There's kind of a lot going on.

Last thing they need's

a daughter up the duff.

Caroline, you shouldn't

have to do this on your own.

Start as you mean to go on.

Careful with that!

That was my grandmother's!

ALEX CLEARS THROA

Just collecting Shiv's things.

Oh, is she here?

She's in the car.

Maybe I'll just

pop out and No.

I don't think

that's a good idea.

Well, I just want

to before you

We haven't had a chance.

Everything's happened so fast.

Do you know what I think

the best thing you could do

right now for Shiv is, Bernie?

Leave her alone.

Keep me posted on the auction.

Try not to f*ck things up.

You too.

Did you see anyone inside?

Your ma was in there.

Oh. She say anything?

No. Not really.

CAR DOOR CLOSES

SHE CLEARS THROA

Was Shiv here?

Briefly.

Oh

She said not to

come to the airport.

And I know she's feeling bad

about herself, but I can't

Do you want these?

What? Photos, Carl's trophies.

Do you want them,

or will I bin them?

Er, er, no, no. Er

No, don't throw them out. Erm

I'm sure one of us

will have some room.

Really? Which one?

Are you OK, love? Jesus, Dad.

If you're gonna be ruthless

enough to sell our home,

at least have the follow-through

to get rid of our sh*t.

Bit late for sentimentality.

Caroline

Where's all our stuff?

Your pals took it.

My pals?

What happened to my little boy?

Which little boy are

we talking about now?

The golden boy, or just me?

We used to be so close.

I never thought you

could betray me.

I'm doing my job. And if

we're talking betrayal here,

you might wanna take a

look a bit closer to home.

What are you talking about?

FINBAR: Anyone seen

the copy of my book?

Thought I left it

here. Ask Shiv.

You don't think one of the

removal guys took it, do you?

I doubt it.

Maybe you should

put that away. Hm?

Sorry.

It's just Carl,

all the memories.

Trying to imagine what it'll

be like when it's gone.

It's just a house, Shiv.

I know.

You're right. You're right.

CAR HORN BEEPS

He's here.

Here we go!

Here we f*cking go.

PHONE CHIMES

Oh, my God! Mickey just

found Karen's address.

Can we stop off?

Er Cutting it

pretty fine, Shiv.

Please, Alex, I just

I need to know she's OK.

Er OK, yeah. Here.

We need to make a stop-off.

DRIVER: No bother.

EDDIE: How are ya? MAN: Hi.

This way.

Good to see you.

Mike. Hi.

Claudia, love those

shoes. Come on in.

DOOR OPENS FINBAR: There she is!

How you feeling?

My son died in this house.

I know.

How am I meant to feel?

I know.

You know, I meant to say

if you've any furniture left

- you know, after the sale

I'd be happy to take

it off your hands.

Furniture?

For my place in

the west, you know.

I'd have mentioned it before, but

with everything going on, you know.

Yeah, so anything you don't want

cutlery, silverware

throw it my way.

Waste not, want

not. HE CHUCKLES.

What? This is not my fault.

Course not. Nothing's

ever your fault, Ant.

Max dumping you

wasn't your fault.

You just fell into bed

with Mum's sponsor (!)

He cheated on me, too.

Can you blame him?

You're not a kid any more.

Take some f*cking

responsibility.

How you getting on?

Kick-off's in ten.

You all set to

smash this? Mm-hm.

Here, do think you could

have a word with your dad?

About what?

He's puking in the toilet.

It's just a bit

off-putting, you know?

Dad You OK?

Well, yeah, yeah.

Just needed some air.

We're doing the right

thing, aren't we?

Selling the house?

What do you mean?

We'll be all right, won't

we when it's gone?

Ah, never mind.

Don't mind me. It'll be fine.

Karen, I'm so sorry

about how I acted when you

kissed me the other night.

I just

I had no idea you

were attracted to me.

I'm not attracted to you!

But you seemed kind of

attracted to me that night.

I've been with women before,

Shiv - proper sexy ones.

You're not me type. OK.

Where the hell have

you been, then?

I was hitting rock bottom.

I just didn't realise cos the

other times I hit rock bottom,

I was off me t*ts.

But when you're just

living day to day, no drama

Sorry, I don't understand.

I'm ten years sober next month.

Karen, that's that's amazing.

Yeah.

But is this it, you know?

Is this all there is?

No highs, no lows

no big f*ck' party, just

this for-f*ck'-ever?

What's it all FOR, you know?

It's

It's for yourself.

It's for living a good life,

without chaos or pain.

It's for all the people

you've helped along the way.

I mean, Jesus, I wouldn't be

sober if it wasn't for you.

Seriously, Karen. You

scared the sh*t out me.

Ah, you're just sayin' that.

You can't throw it all away now.

Ten years. Jesus!

If I thought I could

make it ten years, I'd

You just need to

go back to basics.

One day at a time.

I know.

Progress, not perfection.

In it to win it.

One foot in front of

OK, I get it, Jesus!

I'd go back to meetings

just to shut you up.

Promise?

CAR HORN BEEPS

Hey, Alex.

God, I still would.

Go on.

Karen

Why aren't I your type?

Right.

Welcome to the auction of this

1970s four-bedroom family home.

She's a bit of a stunner,

I think we can all agree.

I know the people who've lived

here have had many happy years

some ups and downs,

but we hope today she

finds the right owner.

So, without any

further Eddie.

Sorry, er, we've got

a last-minute bidder.

Who?

Er, he wants to

remain anonymous.

Anonymous?

He's phoning in from Las Vegas.

Vegas?

He's there on business.

He's a, er, businessman.

And it's legit? Yep.

He's loaded.

Oh, that's him there now.

Listen, sorry about that, folks.

Er, last-minute bidder

from Las Vegas.

LINE RINGS

'Ant. Leave a message.'

No-one's picking up.

Something's happened.

Like what?

So, do we have an opening bid?

Can't have an auction

without a bid, guys.

It's a great house,

bangin' location.

Start off at 600,000.

No? Come on!

Five?

500,000.

Bit low. 550?

Do we hear 550?

550 from our anonymous bidder.

600?

At 600,000

Come on.

Ah.

650. Now we're cooking.

Do I have

FINBAR: I will not stay in

this house another second!

EDDIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

That's no reflection

on the house, guys.

You're not the woman I

thought you were, Bernie!

Can you keep it down at

the back there? Yeah?

This is the woman I am, Finbar.

About time you saw her.

Are you drinking?

Oh that's it, yeah.

Just walk away.

After everything I've done!

After everything you've done?

What exactly HAVE

you done, Bernie?

You have lied, you have

deceived, you have

She loaned you a hundred

grand to buy a house.

Which was given to me in

good faith, Tom, as a gift.

It was a loan, until

you finished your book.

Well, I'm not staying here

listening to the ravings of a drunk.

What did you just call her?

I called her what she is, Tom

- a pathetic old drunk!

750,000's where

What did you call her?

Tom! Take it back.

Look at yourself, Tom,

a man of your age!

You take that back.

What's going on?

You miserable coward!

We're trying to have

an auction here, lads.

Come back, ya baldie f*ck!

Rory! Hey.

OK Argh!

Tom? Tom, I don't

believe in violence.

Come on!

There are other ways to

make a point. Come on!

Stop this! Don't

make me rise to it!

Oh, for God's sake.

This is ridiculous!

Right! CAROLINE: Dad

So, 800.

Nice. OK. 850.

Argh! Oh, my God! Guys!

Erm Rory, do something!

Like two children.

Will you stop it?

OK, that's enough. Guys,

come on! BERNIE: Finbar!

900, anyone?

900, anyone?

Ugh! Argh!

Finbar, for God's sake!

Finbar, let him go!

You're hurting him!

900, anyone?

One million. Seriously?

Yeah. That's

That's what he says.

Well, folks, one million

from our anonymous bidder.

Does anyone wanna go above?

No?

One million going once.

One million going twice.

He can't breathe!

TOM GASPS

What's going on?!

I'm sorry I had to do that, Tom.

I hope there's no hard feelings.

Dad?

Hey Finbar.

Dad, stop.

BERNIE: Tom? Stop, stop.

I've something to tell you.

Dad, I'm pregnant!

FINBAR LAUGHS

Just what the world needs

- another f*cking Sheridan!

Argh! THEY GASP.

Sold! Sold! Sold!

For a million and

50! EDDIE LAUGHS.

What?

No! No, no, no, no, no, no!

Hey

Let's just get

through security, OK?

Just give us a sec.

LINE RINGS

VOICEMAIL: 'Hi, you've

reached Caroline Sheridan.

'Please leave a message.'

Ah.

Doesn't seem broken.

Good.

You should probably get an

x-ray anyway, just to be sure.

Marie-Luisa broke up with me.

I I told her

we slept together.

Why?

Cos I wanted her

to break up with me

cos

cos I'm in love with you.

And I want to be with you.

And I want to spend the

rest of my life with you.

And

I want to have your baby

Caroline.

Rory.

Ow! Oh, God!

Sorry. I'm so sorry. Ooh!

I'm just gonna

try one more time.

Shiv, this is getting

ridiculous. MOBILE RINGS.

It's my mum.

What do you think she's

gonna say? "Sorry"?

Shiv, the woman has lied to

you, she's scapegoated you.

She's never believed

in anything you do.

RINGING CONTINUES

When are you gonna choose

yourself and cut the f*cking cord?

Yeah. OK.

Shiv?

I can't do this.

Shiv, if the house is sold,

there's nothing you can do now.

I'm sorry, Alex.

Shiv

This is the chance

for something new.

I want to make you happy.

Please let me.

Sorry.

They're my family.

This is just the

left-overs Of the old me

The one before you showed me

I can do both

Now I look at her

God, she was so lovely

Oh, I really sold me off

And watched it all unfold

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh

Ooh. ♪

He was a charlatan, Bernie.

I know.

I just didn't wanna be alone.

You're not alone.

We don't have to sell the

house if you don't want to.

We don't have to.

We do.

We have to move on.

I was calling you.

Was there something

you wanted to say?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Shiv.

I'm so sorry for what I did.

I'm sorry.

Are you still drinking?

I never really stopped.

I can't, Shiv.

It's too hard.

You just have to want to.

I don't want to.

I don't want to live

the rest of my life

without being able

to have a drink.

I'm not strong enough.

I'm not as strong as you.

Can you forgive me?

I don't know.

Well

this isn't my house

any more, so

I'm going to Rita's

till it's all done.

Mum

I know.

I love you too.

Well this is depressing.

Thought we just sold a house.

Ooh. Youse made a

k*lling, to be fair.

That was thanks to me.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Er, so, what are we toasting?

The house?

Oh, I've got one.

To grandparents.

Ah. BOTH: To grandparents!

Congratulations.

Thanks. Oh, it's not mine.

Congrats, man. Thanks.

It's It's not mine.

Stop saying that.

SOFTLY: Sorry.

Why aren't you in Australia?

Long story.

Well, cheers!

ALL: Cheers!

So, now that the house

is sold, what's the plan?

Where are you guys No. Shh

Oh.

There's a six-bed going in

Sallynoggin for a million.

We could actually buy that now.

Let's see.

Oh, that's gorgeous.

Tom, look at the garden.

There's one here for only

950 with a guest house.

Oh, only 950 (?)

We're losing the run

of ourselves here.

Sor Are you guys

not getting a divorce?

Oh, we are, yeah. Absolutely.

What about Bray?

Oh, I love Bray.

Or Greystones? Yeah.

Greystones is nice.

It's not technically

Dublin, though, is it?

What about Pam's?

I wish I could save the day

Told you I was

doing fine this way

On my own in my own way

And I wish I

could save the day

But I can't

I wish I could save the day

But I can't.