02x05 - Interview

[bunniefuu]

SHE SIGHS

Don't f*ck this up.

What's going on?

Oh, you're here.

Thought you were at Alex's. I

was working on my portfolio.

Right, we ready?

Family meeting. Now?!

I have my interview. He

got the idea from you.

Dad, I DOOR BELL RINGS.

Oh, that'll be

Mina. Mina's coming?

Yeah.

Right. Um

I just Thank you all

for coming, by the way.

Some things have arisen over

the past few weeks that affect,

well, all of us.

And I thought it might be an

idea for us to sit down

Sorry. Sorry to

I think it's great we're

having a family meeting

and talking about stuff.

I just have an interview later,

so I might not be able to stay

for the whole family meeting.

Can I ask a question

about the family meeting?

Er Sure.

Why is Mina here? Are

you two back together?

Uh No.

No. But, uh

Cos I thought only family

members were at a family meeting.

Oh, what about Finbar?

Finbar's my partner.

If Tom and Mina aren't partners

I'm here as Tom's friend.

For support. Jesus

Actually, Bernie, if I might

I think it's wonderful

that Mina is here.

For Tom and

and for all of us.

I've sat on many a committee

throughout my academic career,

and believe me, there is

no substitute for diversity

of opinion.

All voices welcome here.

OK, er, right.

I'm aware that we might

have thrown a curve ball

We? I.

In mentioning selling the house,

which is why I wanted to

give everyone a chance

to air their feelings in an

open and a reasonable manner.

Very sensible. So,

who wants to go first?

I'll go first.

I don't want to sell this house.

Oh. Bernie

This is the house where

I raised my family,

where Ant was born,

where my mother died,

not to mention my

first-born son.

You might as well cut out my heart

and stamp it into the ground!

Anyone else?

Do we have to sell the house?

Well, I wish we didn't

But, like, is it the best time?

Just feels very sudden and, like,

there's a lot of uncertainty

and, uh, choices

and Mum's recovery.

I'm not the problem here.

I know. I know that

Tom can't live in a shed forever.

No-one's making him live in a shed!

Yeah, but where else can

I go? What about renting?

Have you any idea what the

rental market's like these days?

He's plenty of money!

He's not working.

I mean Why's he not working?

You've been using my car.

Er, um, we can talk

about this later, OK?

What's going on, Tom? Nothing.

Well, you told Shiv.

Oh, he didn't tell me.

So how do you know?

It doesn't matter.

Oh, is this another of

your little secrets?

What? I thought we

were here to be honest.

I'm just respecting

Dad's privacy, OK?

Why, what's he done? Nothing!

Sounds a bit fishy, Tom.

Yeah, look, can

we just please?

So you're not working, and

you haven't told anyone

Except Shiv. Can

we just leave it?

He's going through a lot.

What's he going through?

Nothing! Oh, for God's sake!

Just tell us what's

happened! No! Why?

Because! Because what?

Because it's not

for me to say! Why?

Because! Because what?

Because he was

smearing sh*t on a van!

Whose sh*t? Uh

It was just some dog sh*t.

Whose van? My boss'.

Ah, Tom, no. They, uh

They let me go.

They fired me. Before

the dog sh*t thing.

Is this why you

came to see me, hm?

What, you went to see Mina?

Well She asked

me to visit you.

Oh, is

that why you?

Ah, I see. I see. Uh

Look, I admit, it hasn't

been the greatest few weeks.

And, uh, maybe I didn't

handle things as well as I

But I've had some time

to think now, and, er

We've moved on, Bernie.

We don't need this house.

We could, uh, sell up now,

and both of us come out

of it pretty all right.

Now, Ant's, er,

got some figures

Yep. So, er, in the current market,

you guys could sell this place,

split the cash, probably come

out with an apartment each.

An apartment?

Yeah, nice little

one-bed somewhere local.

So this is what my

life has come to?

A windowless one-bedroom

apartment? Huh!

Not Not windowless.

No, we-we can't stay

living like this, Bernie.

You know, we've worked

hard all our lives.

We're mortgage-free.

Well, almost, yeah. Almost?

Which is quite a privilege

when you think about it.

I've been meaning to tell you.

I re-mortgaged the house.

When? A few weeks ago.

For what?! This and that.

What?! "This and that"? What

are you saying, Bernie?!

Tom, if-if I might, erm

I found a little

pied-a-terre in the west, er,

between the mountains and the

sea. Very reasonably priced.

It would have been a

crime to let it go,

and I've, uh, taken

on a little mortgage.

Bernie has kindly

provided the deposit.

FINBAR CLEARS HIS THROA

It's where I'll

write my next book.

TOM YELLS

How could you do this?!

It's an investment! For who?!

If we could all

just calm down

You don't even know this man,

and you're buying him property.

I have a lot of experience

with conflict resolution.

First rule - stay in the room.

I'm not staying in

that f*cking room!

Wha?

How did you re-mortgage

without my signature?

Did you forge it?

Look, Tom, the payments

aren't that much.

I can manage it. Jesus

Christ, Bernie! That's fraud!

Oh, don't be so hysterical.

Why did I bother calling

a family meeting?

Clearly, we only make unilateral

decisions around here.

Ant! Yeah?

Tell your boss to come

do that valuation.

Are you sure? Yes!

So, what? You're gonna

just go ahead with this?

Why not? You did.

Look

It's only 100 grand!

He'll pay it back now if

you're so upset. Won't you?

We're selling the house, Bernie.

You can do what you

want with your share.

I don't even know you any more.

I bought that.

DOOR SLAMS

Well, I hope you're

happy! Me?! What did I do?

You brought her back.

That woman! That witch!

She's the one putting

ideas into his head,

he was grand out there till now.

Mum, did you forge

Dad's signature?

What if I did? It's my house!

What the f*ck?

FINBAR CLEARS HIS THROA

They made peace in Northern

Ireland. They'll make peace here.

MOBILE PHONE CHIMES

Shiv? Caroline, I

really have to go

I'll give you a lift. OK.

And it's not just the fact that she

blames me for literally everything,

it's the total self-absorption,

too, you know? Yeah.

Like, the lack of interest

in anyone else's life!

Shiv, there's something

that I And do you know,

not one person has asked me what

this interview is for? Shi

I, um

And I'm not saying that to

make you feel bad, by the way.

But, you know you haven't

asked me, either, so

How could she do that?

So you're definitely

up for this, yeah?

Cos if I go to my boss and

you change your mind, it's

I won't change my mind. Cos

I really need this, Dad.

I'm done.

I'm f*cking done.

Thanks, Dad. You're amaze ba*ls.

Eddie! Caught that fish.

I look at her, she looks at me

In her eyes, I see the sea

And I don't know

What she'd see in me. ♪

KNOCK ON DOOR

Cuppa? Sorry. I just

needed to think.

You don't need to explain.

I probably should have

said something to Tom.

Little white lie for

the greater good.

Totally understandable.

I'm going to the shops.

Do you need anything? No.

Have a soak in the

tub. Bit of me-time.

FINBAR: Text if you

think of anything!

DOOR SHUTS

OK, I accept not everybody

gives a sh*t about art.

Can you slow down?!

It's not like medicine is

so f*cking riveting, either.

Shiv OK, it might

save a few more lives.

Oh. Will you shut the f*ck up?!

I'm Shiv?

Oh, for God's sake!

Jack, wh? What

are you doing here?

I'm here for the interview.

What are you doing? Are

you here for the interview?

Erm, kinda, yeah. Right.

And what time is your? Can

you hold Stevie for a sec?

What? I'm just

bursting for a piss.

Oh, erm

What is he doing here? Wha?

He doesn't need this,

it's for emerging artists.

He's not emerging, he's emerged.

Unless he's on

the judging panel.

Oh, my God, he's on the

judging panel. Of course he is.

This is f*cking typical!

He's on the f*cking

CAROLINE SNIFFS

Why are you crying?

Oh, my God, you're

pregnant. Shh!

How far along?

Almost four months.

I only found out

the other week. I

I thought it was just

really bad indigestion.

Oh, Caroline

Is it Shane's?

Yes, it's Shane's! Of

course it's Shane's!

I'm like 84%

sure it's Shane's.

So you've told him?

Of course I haven't

told him! OK.

So, what are you gonna do?

Get rid of it, obviously.

Really? Yes.

You sure?

I've booked the flights, I'm

going Saturday, it's done.

I just needed to tell

someone in case

I don't know, something came up.

Do you think maybe you

need some more time?

This wasn't meant to happen,

Shiv. It's not on my timeline.

What the f*ck am I supposed

to do with a f*cking baby?!

There y'are!

Thought you'd kidnapped my kid.

Why's she crying?

Everywhere I go, women crying.

Hey, Max. Thanks for seeing me.

God, I'm I'm sorry,

Tom. That sounds awful.

So how How could

I? I need a lawyer.

Tom, I respect both

you and Bernie.

I don't think I should

I'm not trying to put you in

an awkward situation here, Max.

I'm not. It's just, you know,

I've always felt you and I have a

special connection, you know?

Anyway, I value your advice.

Yeah, well, divorce is

a nasty business, Tom.

My advice is, try

some mediation.

Ah, no, no! No mediation.

We're past that.

I need a shark.

Have you ever had an ab*rtion?

Yeah.

When?

Five years ago. In London.

Do you ever regret it?

No.

Then I won't, either.

I'm a different person to you.

Look, I don't think anyone

should have to be a mother

if they don't want to be.

Life's hard enough without that.

Just make sure it is

what you want for you.

Not just cos it doesn't

fit into some timeline.

Siobhan Sheridan?

Good luck.

Dearbhla Shiv.

Didn't realise that was you.

Your leaflet

inspired me to apply.

Well it did

say YOUNG artists,

but never mind, the judges

liked you. Come on in.

Hello, Shiv.

Hi. This is Caroline Sheridan.

I've an appointment this weekend.

I'd like to push it back.

Just putting out the bins.

Hello.

So you call this A Cycle Of

Shame: Meditations On Addiction.

Can you talk about that? Sure.

I'm drawn to both the abstract

and figurative in my work,

so I've used harsh lines

and a repetition of

colour to evoke

Yes. But why shame as a theme?

Have you done something

to be ashamed of?

Well, the piece is

about addiction.

Yes, a brave choice

of subject matter,

given that it's such a cliche.

I'm an alcoholic.

I tried getting sober in my

early 30s and kept failing.

Last year, I was doing pretty

well, made it to six months

before I fell spectacularly

off the wagon.

I did some things

I'm not proud of.

We addicts drink to

get rid of our shame.

And then we do things

when we're drunk

that make us more ashamed,

so it kind of becomes

a vicious cycle.

And what about the things you

did when you were not drunk?

Are you ashamed of those, too?

Of course.

That's what I'm

exploring in this piece

how one can be sober

but still messy.

But aren't we sick of the

trope of the "messy" woman?

What about the women

who just get on with it?

Who have jobs and raise kids,

and aren't endlessly talking about

their problems or their pussies?

Well

would that make great art?

Is this great art?

I just don't think young

women relate to this any more.

They're bored by it.

I think it's easy to

be bored when you're 23

and you haven't

made any mistakes.

You know, come back

to me when you're 40

and your life's in the shitter.

If you ask me, women are owed

at least several more centuries

of "messy". I mean, Jesus,

we've had a millennia of just

being baby factories or wh*res.

So you consider

yourself a feminist?

Oh, yeah.

So would you consider it feminist

to, erm, accept a job from a woman

who is eight months pregnant,

and then f*ck her

boyfriend behind her back?

Or would you simply put that

down to being "messy"?

Oh.

Apology Champagne. Oh?

Did you get my flowers

last week? I did.

I am really sorry about

what happened. Erm

Er, but I've got good news.

My folks are selling the house,

and I brought it to Eddie,

which means I'll be

getting commission,

which means I won't need

mates rates, which means

I'm ready. To move in.

Is it OK - I took your

washing out of the machine?

Yeah, yeah. Of course.

Er, Ant, you

remember Mikhail? Hi.

He's subletting Pete's room

for a couple of months.

Oh. OK.

It just seemed like, you

know, after everything, that

it might be better for us

to take it slow, you know?

Right, yeah. Yeah.

We're not in any rush.

God, no! No!

Sure. You were the one with

the foot on the accelerator.

Are these yours?

Oh, come on! Did they shrink?

Hey, give them! Give them to

me! Give them to me! Give

You're such a d*ck!

He's such a d*ck.

Yeah. Yeah, I can see that.

This feels firm to me. No,

this is not a proper melon.

Here, this one. OK.

Caroline! Hey, hi!

What are you doing here?

Fe-Feeling the-the melons

Hi, I'm Caroline Er,

this is Marie-Luisa.

We work together.

And I am his girlfriend.

Right. Wow.

And you're Spanish? Half

Spanish, half Portuguese.

Yes. Erm, I think Rory

might have mentioned you.

When did you mention me? Er,

are you having a party or?

Oh, no. Just sugar cravings.

Period?

Yep. Yeah.

Er, anyway Er, yeah.

It was nice seeing you,

Rory. Yeah, you too.

Why didn't you say I

was your girlfriend?!

Ow, Jesus! Argh!

Kristen? Yes?

I just wanted to say I'm

sorry for everything.

I know I've caused

you a lot of pain.

And I know you and Jack

aren't together any more.

And I feel terrible for the

part I played in Oh, please.

Don't make yourself more

important than you are.

It's not like you were the

only one. It was Christmas.

Apology not accepted.

Go f*ck yourself.

Hey, Shiv. How'd it go?

Why didn't you tell me

she was on the panel?

I didn't wanna freak you out.

She tore me to pieces in there.

f*ck it! It's some shitty

little parochial bursary,

you don't need it.

Actually, Jack, yes, I do!

And by the way, that's

easy for you to say,

you weren't in there

being totally f*cking

HE CHUCKLES What?!

You look great when

you're angry. HE CHUCKLES.

Oh, my God.

It doesn't matter

what they think!

WHISTLE

So how'd it go?

It was a total f*cking

sh*t show. What?! No!

Is it something to do

with your ex being here?

No. God Were yis fighting?

He was just being himself.

It wasn't just my ex.

His ex was on the

panel, my boss.

So what's your news?

Your text this morning.

You said you had something

to Ah, it's not really

Oh, come on. It sounded important,

and I need a distraction.

Look, I I didn't

wanna do this here.

Erm

I've been offered

to go to Australia.

Australia? One of my

business partners,

his brother lives in Melbourne,

and he wants to open

a restaurant with us.

When? Soon.

And obviously, there's

some considerations

Yeah, like what?

Like you.

The fact that I'm

falling in love with you.

What do you think?

You wanna ride off into

the sunset with me?

Hey, baby, swing

for the fences

Whatever consequences

I'm smiling like

an idiot again

I'm smiling like

an idiot again

I'm smiling like

an idiot again

I'm smiling like

an idiot again

I'm smiling like

an idiot again

I'm smiling like

an idiot again.