01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

[GRUNTING AND GROANING]

What did you say your name was?

It's Barry. Gary, oh

Barry!

Oh, Barry, Barry

Oh, when did I meet

a f*cking Barry?

So, you've accepted that you're

powerless over alcohol, yeah?

Yeah.

[TV AUDIO:] November 15th 2015.

The last known sighting of

housewife Victoria Doherty,

alive.

But her husband waited

a further two months before

reporting her missing.

Ahem.

Oh!

Where did that come from?

Dad's credit card. Oh!

You didn't!

He's investing in my future.

Bold.

Is this the guy who buries

his wife under the house?

No. This one pushed

her off a cliff.

Oh Inventive.

Are you sure about

going for this?

It's just an office

doesn't seem very you.

I'm trying to make sure at least

one of your kids isn't

a total f*ck up, okay?

Hmm. [KISSING SOUND]

We have Caroline.

I heard that.

[AUDIO: ]Oh baby, you

like that big and hard.

[GRUNTING AND GROANING]

[DOOR BURSTS OPEN]

[RORY:] Hey Hey, hi!

How are the cramps?

Bad Sorry.

Wish I could join.

Ah What are you up to?

Online shop.

Seriously?

Can you get me some

chocolate protein shakes?

Okay.

Oh, and some coconut

water as well,

you know, electrolytes.

[KISSING SOUND]

[DOOR SLAMS CAROLINE'S

PHONE PINGS]

[GROANING AND MOANING]

How'd you know my size?

Wha'?

I don't.

But I threw her measurements out

with me sandwich last Tuesday,

So Any news on the job front?

[SHIV SOBBING]

Oh, Jesus, you're not, are you?

Sorry, it's just

It's the dress.

Every f*cking time.

So how far did you get

with the program me?

Well, I stopped drinking.

Ah, so not far then.

Look, I have an issue with

some of the God stuff.

I mean, culturally I'm a

Catholic, but morally

Higher power can mean anything:

The universe, a tree,

packet of crisps.

A pack of crisps? As

long as you respect it.

The point is: You're not

trying to control things

because you tried that before

and look where it got you.

Now

Had you a sponsor in London?

Umm, no.

I mean I had people

that I met at meetings.

But I never got too, you know,

because who even are

these people, you know?

I don't know them.

So, you're an avoidant?

A what? Close

relationships scare you.

No, weirdos scare me.

People who are a bit sad

and a bit clingy and

Have a bang o' need off them?

Exactly. Yeah.

Not like you then.

I think we'll start with

the moral inventory.

The moral what? Basically,

you write down all

your weaknesses,

all your flaws,

all the bad sh*t

you've ever done:

The lies, the darkness,

the shame

And then you share it.

With who? Me.

That feels very

Do you want to stay sober?

Totally.

Then you need to

start getting honest.

There's my dad!

Yeah, watch out,

you've pins in you.

Dad! [BANGING ON WINDOW]

Dad!

[BANGING ON WINDOW]

[MOANING AND GROANING]

Dad!

Jesus Christ!

sh*t

Oh God

Shiv!

What are you doing here?

I'm Mina. I met you at

your grandmother's funeral.

Oh God Are you alright?

She's alright? No,

you're not gonna Ah!

A handkerchief! I

need a handkerchief!

I don't have an handkerchief.

Press here at this point,

between your fingers.

Use this. You don't want to

make a mess on the street.

Give me your hand.

I'll show you. No! No!

She's in acupuncturist.

She knows what she's doing!

Ah

It's not what it

looks like, Shiv.

It looks like an old Irish man

f*cking a woman

behind some bins.

That's very crude, Siobhan.

I'm sorry. Is that

not an appropriate

response to seeing your father's

arse out in an alleyway?

I'll appreciate it if

you keep your voice down.

I would appreciate

it if you weren't

riding your acupuncturist!

She's not just an acupuncturist!

She also does reflexology

and a bit of reiki.

What about Mum?

Look Shiv Your

mother and I

Is this serious, with Mina?

No, God no!

Absolutely not!

Not serious at all.

It's just a casual thing.

So, you're f*ck buddies?

Well, I don't love

that expression,

but do you know,

frankly, a man my age,

still getting it

- Please don't finish that sentence!

- Jesus!

What is happening here? You

You're my dad!

You're supposed to be my rock!

You are not supposed to

I am a human being!

I've had a hard time too.

And Mina just makes

things more bearable.

That's all.

I'm sorry you had

to see what you did.

But err

remember the time

you wrapped your mother's

car around that lamppost?

What's that got to

You don't think that

was hard for me too?

Have you any idea what it's like

to see your eldest daughter

off her head behind

the wheel of a car?

You could've k*lled someone.

You could've k*lled

yourself. I know.

But at the same time,

I'm your father.

I have a responsibility,

so I did the responsible thing.

I told your mother

I was driving.

What are you saying?

You want me to lie?

No!

No, not lie.

Not lie, just err

just don't mention it.

That's all.

That's all? Yeah.

That's all.

[BERNIE:] Hi, Rita, it's me.

Just wondering if

you're around today

for a cup of coffee

or a movie or

Anyway, I'm here

all afternoon, so

yeah, give me a

call if it suits.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ah, Shiv. Hi Rory.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Oh, spring clean.

Seriously?

Yeah. Every three months

we take everything

out the cupboards

and we put them back in

in alphabetical order.

Alphabetical order?

It sounds mad,

but it's actually a

pretty good system.

Yeah.

See, first you've

got your baked beans,

then your black beans.

Tuna actually goes

near the front

Peas Peas.

Wow.

Can we help you, Shiv?

I was wondering if I could chat

with you about something.

Okay.

[SHIV:] It's kind of sensitive.

Sorry, do you want me to leave?

No.

Not unless you want

to. It's his house.

Course he doesn't want to.

Is it sensitive or are

you just being weird?

Do you remember the

time I was drinking

and I crashed the? Yeah.

Do you think that's like

the worst thing though?

Like, is it worse than say

There was that time

you left all the

Christmas presents on

the fecking Night link?

[CARO: ]Oh yes!

Mam asked you to take the bags

home on the bus but you

went on the piss instead.

I'm not just talking

about things I did.

What about the time

you flashed your t*ts

at Uncle Joe at

Christmas dinner?

Classic. Okay.

Getting a bit off topic here

He loved it as well.

Yeah, of course he did.

She wasn't wearing a bra.

I was an active alcoholic, okay?

I think we know that.

Oh sh*t. I've gotta go.

Can I come with you?

September three years ago,

you borrowed two months' rent,

London prices,

never saw it again.

Okay, I really

don't remember that.

Last year when I came to visit,

every time we went out,

you forgot your bank card.

That was legitimate.

I gave you my credit card number

to book flights

for Mum's birthday

and you ran up almost a grand.

This is not why I

wanted to talk to you.

No sh*t.

Because you owe me two grand.

Caroline

I actually have something

really important to tell you.

What? [LIFT BELL CHIMES]

Dad's

Caroline! I was just

looking for you!

Dan, hi, hey!

Hi Ha!

Did you get my text about

the radial head fracture?

Yes. Yeah, umm

I was just popping

up to see you.

Right. So, you

weren't off today?

No, no.

I mean, yes technically

but I didn't come in

specially, or anything.

Well, good.

Umm, we've to

something upstairs,

but umm, I'll come

find you in a bit.

Yeah. Please do.

I'll look forward to it.

Mmm. What was that?

What?

He's into you.

No he's not.

Bit of silver fox?

Stop it!

Oh, my god

Are you riding him?

No Jesus, he's married!

Some of us actually

have some self-respect.

And a job.

Property economics,

f*cking great course.

Nice results.

Why have you been

working in a pizza place?

Right, yeah, umm

That was more like

a bridging job

out of college while I looked

for something more suitable.

Says there you

graduated two years ago.

I was pretty thorough.

Listen,

I'm all for having a good time,

sowing the wild-oats

Did my fair share

of disco biccies

back in the day as well.

[LAUGHING]

This is a serious place, though.

Oh, I know. Sell a lot

of serious properties.

South Dublin residential

does not f*ck around.

And I am serious,

like really serious.

I don't f*ck around either.

I never f*ck around.

Listen, thanks for

coming in, Anthony.

Umm Oh, is is that it?

Always good to

see Michael's boy.

You're no relation of

Carl Sheridan, are you?

He's my brother

Was my brother.

You're f*cking sh1tting me.

[ANT:] Did you know him? Carl?

I only coached him for the

f*cking Leinster Senior Cup!

[LAUGHTER]

f*cking legend!

Yeah, that's what people say.

And a hell of a wing man

too, if you know what I mean?

Yeah! [LAUGHTER]

Yeah

Do you mind me asking

Did they ever find out like

what actually happened to him?

Oh, he died.

I know, but like

actually what happened,

because they said he

went to sleep but

Yeah, he did.

It was one of those freak

one in a million things.

Right, right, right, right.

sh*t one.

Well look, Carl

was a f*cking hero.

I've got to help

his brother out.

Come in for a three-month trial.

Get you back in the

saddle. Seriously?

Why not?

You've got the qualifications.

You just need the horse.

That would be amazing, thanks.

I wouldn't do it for everyone.

Carl was a f*cking hero.

Don't f*cking let him down.

I'm kidding!

I'm joking, I'm joking.

Good man, take care.

I'll be in touch with you.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Bernie, hi.

Simon Is Pam back yet?

No.

Oh Is she still in Mallorca?

Yeah.

She umm stayed on for a bit.

Because I've been

texting and she's not

She lost her phone.

Ah. Right.

I wanted to tell her

about the book club.

We've changed Oh, I

don't think she'll be back

in time for the book club.

Sorry Bernie, I've got

something on the stove.

If she calls, I'll tell her

you were looking for her.

Thanks. But I

got [DOOR SLAMS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[CARO: ]Hi. I got the job.

What job?

It doesn't matter.

Here, can I ask you

a medical question?

Ah Jesus, what have you caught?

ANT: Not about me. About Carl.

Carl?

Like Carl, Carl?

Yeah. I was just

wondering if you knew

like medically

what he died from.

Why are you asking this now?

I just wondered is all.

Not a good time

Ant, sorry. But

We have to stop

meeting like this.

Is there anything else

you want me to look at?

Umm No.

Well actually, umm

Do you fancy a drink?

Yeah. She sounds pretty

pissed off, alright.

Yeah, but it's not my fault.

I think it probably is.

I don't remember

borrowing any money.

Ha! I don't remember 18-35,

but a lot of sh*t went down.

If she was angry with me,

why didn't she say anything?

It's not really

your family's style.

I'll see ya Mickey!

Mind that tooth!

Jesus. First my

dad, and now this.

I'm supposed to be

focusing on my recovery

and instead, I just

feel anxious.

[KAREN:] Mmm.

Do you know who

else feels anxious?

Refugees.

Prisoners of w*r.

People who've got

gangrene from sh**ting up

and have to get

their legs amputated.

Sobriety is about

taking responsibility,

and taking responsibility

means getting a job,

and paying back

your sister whatever

stupid amount of money

you've blacked out

you even owe her.

And being honest

about who yeh are

and what yeh stand for!

No more excuses! No.

When you lie to yourself,

you lie to everyone.

You have to break the cycle.

You're right.

You're absolutely

right. No more lies.

Thanks, Karen.

[BERNIE: ]Oh, Jesus!

Not more fecking psychobabble.

Have you seen this

text from Shiv?

Wait till you hear.

"Time for some honesty." Ha.

"Family meeting tomorrow.

No excuses."

Family meeting?

What are we? Americans?

I mean

If you want to give up

drink, just give up drink.

Do we have to keep

f*cking talking about it?

Right.

Honesty.

That's all we f*cking need.

Oh, sh*t.

[JACK: ]Shiv!

Shiv!

Shiv! Yo!

Oh, hey!

Come join me. I can't.

Why? I've a thing.

No, you don't.

I know when you're lying.

What you having?

Err Lemonade.

Piss off.

What?

Have a proper f*cking drink.

Red wine, beer, vodka

Seriously, lemonade's fine.

Are you still on

those antibiotics?

How bad is that infection?

I don't have an infection.

Then have a f*cking

drink! I'm an alcoholic!

[PHONE RINGS]

Come on Shiv! Come on!

[PHONE CALL CUTS

OFF] f*ck's sake

[DOOR OPENS]

How'd you know?

What do you mean?

What's the criteria?

There's no exact criteria.

Has to be something.

[LIGHTS CIGARETTE]

Yes. There were a lot of things.

Were you getting the shakes? No.

Drinking in the mornings? No.

Well, not really.

Well, then.

Then what?

You're not an alcoholic. I

I was drinking too much.

Yeah, cause you're good craic!

Haha!

Do you think it's easy for me?

Sorry.

But like, you had

fun, didn't you?

Yeah.

I did, I

definitely did.

But it became less fun and

more f*cked up.

So

I'm telling you this because

my sponsor said

that I have to be

I have to be honest.

Sponsor?

Jesus.

So, what, you're never

gonna drink again?

Ideally, Jack, I will

never drink again.

Are you sure this isn't

some kind of career move

because mental health

stuff gets a lot of press?

I don't have a career, Jack.

I can't even get a job.

I've put my CV into

every gallery in Dublin.

I was on the phone

to a temp agency.

Do you know what

they offered me?

Bar work.

You sure this is the

right place for you

to stay sober?

No.

Shiv Sheridan, on the dry.

Jesus.

[PHONE PINGS]

I'll have that lemonade

if you're still buying.

Mmm hmm.

Sorry, I have to go.

You asked me to

sit down. I know.

Something's come up.

See you, yeah? Bye.

[PHONE BUZZES]

Oh, f*ck's sake.

[JACK: ]Hey

I might be able to help you out.

I know someone who

owns a gallery.

Could put in a good word.

Really?

That would be great. Thanks.

I'm not making any promises.

Hey

I think you're great.

What you're doing, it's

Yeah.

I'm glad you're back.