Shatner: Previously,
On an unprecedented experiment.
Their mission...
To find out if they could
survive life on mars.
Hey, do I look like
a real astronaut?
Oh, god!
- Wow, this is exciting.
- Hi.
He is lance armstrong,
a real astronaut.
Shatner:
This is a 24-day experiment
Which will test which
celebrities are the strongest,
- The brightest...
- Ooh. We have a squeegee?
- Yes!
- The bravest.
[ whimpering ] I'm gonna die.
Who can handle the stress...
- The mental side of this is t*rture.
- And isolation?
Ronda: It's the longest I've
ever been away from my baby.
- I just miss her so much.
- You are k*lling me.
Shatner: Those not critical
to the mars simulation
Will be extracted and
sent home every 48 hours.
Now 11 celebrities remain.
You're walking!
Run your [ bleep ]!
[ indistinct chatter ]
- Boom!
- Oh!
Only one will make it
to the end to earn the title
Brightest star in the galaxy.
This is "stars on mars."
[ music playing ]
Computer: Good
morning, crewmembers.
Please get ready for
a new day on mars.
Stand by for instructions.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How did you sleep?
- It was better today.
- You did?
- Yeah.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
You look refreshed.
It's sol day three,
And there's 11 of us left
To continue deep
into this experiment
Here on mars.
Hopefully there's no emergencies
today, yeah? Nice chill day.
I would beg for that to happen.
We're here on mars
for, like, a month,
And it's gonna be hard.
I wonder what... we're gonna do
something today though, for sure.
Yeah.
Our first mission, it was
absolute pandemonium,
And we're exhausted.
I'm just hoping
there's no emergencies.
You never know
what's gonna happen.
Computer: In your downtime,
you must keep the hab in order.
Water and rations are limited.
Use them wisely.
- Hey, rowdy.
- What up?
- Making a compost.
- Okay.
- Do you need help?
- Would you like to help?
Whatever you need.
I am nervous about
the food situation.
[ sighs ]
We don't have enough
rations to last as long
As we need them to last.
Okay. Already
give them a little life.
Ronda: Yes, give
them a little zhuzh.
But really cool
we're growing stuff.
Like, what?
Never done that in my life.
[ whistling ]
Got a green thumb.
There's nothing familiar about
any of this because you're on mars.
You feel very...
Very far from home.
All right, carrots watered.
We've had two days with
marshawn as base commander.
Hey, good morning.
Marshawn's reign
is coming to an end.
Dude.
[ laughing ]
The king has come
out of his bedroom.
Being base commander,
it's a status symbol.
- Good morning, young lady.
- Morning.
It's like having a
rolls-royce on mars. It's cool.
- Charged up. Ready to go.
- There you go, commander.
Marshawn: As of right
now, I don't think nobody
Doubting me as a
commander, you feel me?
I'ma stay right
here where I'm at.
If I just gotta delegate
to certain individuals
To get [ bleep ] done,
it just makes sense.
[ whistles ]
Hang on, I gotta go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.
The first morning,
I asked marshawn
If I could borrow his bathroom
Just 'cause it's more private.
And of course he said no.
[ toilet flushing ]
But his bathroom
was just right there.
So I borrowed his bathroom.
- [ indistinct chatter
] - thanks, bro.
Oh, you [ bleeping ]!
No! Bring your
little old [ bleep ]...
- It's pungent.
- If I see doo-doo stains in my toilet,
I'm gonna find lance.
All right, for the
support of everyone,
Let's just pause on
the [ bleep ] situation!
I feel we need a little
bit less frenetic energy
So that people's nervous
systems are a little calmer.
I would definitely like
to be in a leadership role.
No, the commander
can be eliminated.
The mission specialist is
the only one who's safe.
Ronda: I was honestly inspired
to be part of this experiment
Because I was one of those kids
that wanted to be an astronaut.
If I was named base commander,
that would be really cool.
Wouldn't that be
cool? I would love that.
Time to pick another
base commander.
Tom: There's no chance I'm
ever gonna be base commander.
Last mission, I was
in the bottom three.
- I like doing grunt work.
- Me, too.
- Send me out in the dirt again.
- I like to be the grunt.
Yeah.
You know? I might be...
I might be too passive.
[ laughs ]
[ alarm blaring ]
Uh-oh!
- Uh-oh!
- Thank god.
Damn it.
T-lulu! Where my right hand at?
I'm sitting in the thing? Okay.
- Yeah, I need you at my right hand side.
- Okay.
Computer: Attention, all crew,
It is time to choose a
new base commander.
- You heard what he said!
- [ bleep ]
The new base commander will
be in charge of the entire hab
And its crew for
the next 48 hours.
You know what? I'm
gonna make this simple.
Do we have to wrestle
for it? What the hell?
Yeah, I throw hands, baby.
Marshawn has offered
to wrestle for the position.
He wasn't really up
for discussion for it.
All right, you wanna fight for
base commander? All right.
- Oh, my god. Are they serious?
- My money's on ronda.
Marshawn lynch
versus ronda rousey.
I'm seeing it for free on mars.
This should be on pay-per-view.
[ laughing ]
- I'll get him! Look at him!
- You got it!
- I'm gonna get... aah!
- [ cheering ]
- He's surprisingly balanced!
- Let's go!
- Get him, ronda!
- There we go! There we go!
- [ laughing ]
- she got him!
- Who's your new commander?
- Commander!
Ronda won, of course.
But we're all pretty resolute
That would definitely
be easier to vote.
I'm a nomination.
You know, I feel like I've been
underestimated in this competition thus far,
And I'd like the opportunity to
prove myself as base commander.
Okay! All right! Okay!
So we need to split up in
groups and talk about this?
- Yes.
- I think that'd be a good idea.
So there's a lot of pros
and cons to a lot of people.
I know. I'm telling
you, I vote me.
Porsha: So why do you think
you should be commander?
Marshawn: Are we here
to complete missions?
- But efficiently.
- Okay, we're gonna establish that you're not going
- To be the next base commander.
- Y'all ain't voting me back commander?
No! Nobody is voting you back!
It's been very obvious
That marshawn doesn't
put the most effort in,
Which is really
hard on the team.
She all... damn, you
getting all in the kool-aid.
Porsha: Tinashe
has been in the field.
Imagine somebody having that
experience and now they're in-house,
So they know what we're
going through on the ground
- And they're in here.
- 1,000%.
- Okay. Okay, I kind of like that.
- I'm very decisive.
Uh-huh.
So your proposition is that
You be promoted
to base commander?
The way that
marshawn presented it,
I was the one really running it
And in control of everything.
- Oh!
- I thought you were so clear.
You were great as
mission specialist.
I think you'd be a
great base commander.
Tallulah: I know
there was some people
Campaigning for me
to be base commander.
I'm feeling such an
overwhelming sense of gratitude.
Well, if comms was our biggest
hold-up in the last mission,
I heard every single word of
tallulah's encouraging haikus,
So I feel like she
already proved
- That she can come through on the comms.
- Sure.
Ronda: If I'm not picked,
then, I mean, I love tallulah
And she would really
shine as base commander
Because she's
just so articulate.
And I think it would
be fun to see her shine.
But if she's out there in the
desert, you know what I mean?
She might see a martian butterfly
and be like, "I love butterflies."
And, like, we'll never see her.
Then our next mission
is to do the body retrieval.
- I agree, again.
- [ indistinct chatter ]
Computer: Crew,
it's time to vote
For your next base commander.
In this experiment,
It's so funny because
it's a social game.
When we spend this much
time in the hab together,
You have to build
that social bond.
But at the same time,
We're all competing
against each other.
[ sighs ]
Marshawn: All right,
so after a long, uh...
- I tried.
- Discussion...
Deliberation?
Of who should be the
new base commander...
Got my copilot,
you understand me?
- Tallulah.
- [ cheering ]
Yay!
Tallulah: When they
named me base commander,
I just looked around at
these wonderful human beings
Just smiling and
cheering for me,
And I just felt so
celebrated and loved.
I don't know what
prepared me for this,
But I've been waiting my
whole life to show up for it,
- And I'm really excited.
- Yes!
That was a good vote.
When we get a new
base commander,
People start thinking,
"oh, wait a minute.
What's the pecking order?"
Are you gonna be taking
over the commander's suite?
I don't need to because I love
sleeping with the girls in the room.
- Okay.
- Oh, you best.
Man, get to keep my pad. Yeah!
And somehow, some
way, he done kept the room.
Hey, man, all I'm
gonna say is like this.
Tallulah gonna be good because
she's overcome a lot of things.
I think that's the
perfect spot for her.
I just... I'm holding you
all in my heart chakra.
Aww, you the best.
I think she's got a
unique way about her,
And I think we all thought
that some of the physical stuff
Would be a little
harder for her.
I don't know.
Adam: Tallulah is somebody
so authentically themselves
And so apologetically
quirky and lovely.
Yeah, this can
go horribly wrong.
Shatner: Coming up...
We have no running water.
This is the worst thing to ever.
Shatner: The good news?
There's frozen water locked away
Deep under the surface of mars.
I just saw, "whoo!"
[ whimpering ] okay.
Look at me. Look at me.
Marshawn, do you copy?
[ humming ]
Marshawn, do you copy?
Tallulah is base
commander right now.
And we are waiting
to find out what to do,
- And she's in the bedroom just chilling.
- She's the house mom.
She's just been
napping ever sense.
- I know. I love it.
- She is so funny.
Waiting for tallulah
is actually a gift for me
Because I think
it's really important
To really get to know
my fellow teammates.
So my friend said she watches
every episode of "vanderpump rules."
Oh, man. They say that it
puts their relationship problems
In perspective when
they watch the trainwreck
That is sometimes our
lives, you know what I mean?
'cause she was like, "is
he this tom or this tom?"
Because the other
tom, she said, like...
He's had... he
had a torrid affair.
It's horrible, and
I feel complicit
Because I didn't cover
for him, but I had his back.
He came to me and confided in me
That he was in love
with someone else.
My friend had an
affair that just happened
To sweep the nation, and
it's incredibly messed up.
But the thing is, I've
become mired in it.
That's been a huge source
of just angst in my life.
I've been in this extended funk.
- And then I got divorced.
- You're divorced?
Yeah, I got divorced.
I mean, listen,
I'll take most of the
responsibility for that.
But for whatever reason,
now that I am divorced,
Like, I had my [ bleep ]
together, natasha. I felt like I did.
I don't know what it
is, but now I feel like
I'm in some sort of form
arrested development.
- I liked being married.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- The pandemic was kind of rough.
It was good for our
marriage, I think.
- It was fun.
- Why? It ended in divorce.
[ vibrating ]
[ creaking ]
Computer: Tallulah,
you are responsible
For everything from
cleanliness to survival to fitness.
My sweet crew, is
everyone in here?
It's now time for you to assign
base duties and stay alert.
Emergencies can
happen at any time.
Can you get everyone to
listen to me for a second?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
Ay, ay, ay! Check it out,
check it out, check it out!
Come on in, my buddy! Just
gonna sit down for one sec.
- Cleaning the kitchen.
- That would be so awesome.
First of all, I'm so
grateful to be here.
Thank you, guys, so much.
It's sol day three,
and here are the duties
That you guys are
gonna do for the afternoon.
Tom and ariel, you're gonna go
outside and clean the solar panels
And keep power
flowing to the hab.
Porsha and lance are required
To conduct health
and well-being checks.
That's it. Sol day three.
- We're all k*lling it!
- [ laughs ]
I put porsha and lance in charge
Of doing wellness checks.
I'm gonna go first.
- Oh, you're gonna go first?
- Yeah.
To me, there is
nothing more important
Than the well-being of my crew.
- Let me show you what we're doing, lance.
- Okay.
Okay, so the first one is
blood pressure, uh-huh.
All right, so her blood
pressure is 119/81.
- Got it.
- You know that's dead, right?
- Yeah.
- That's dead?
- Huh? No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
- [ laughing ]
- okay.
I don't hear anything.
- Maybe 'cause you don't got the damn things in your ear.
- Oh!
We all dead.
So, commander, you're a lot
better than you were yesterday.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling rested.
- I'm feeling really grateful. Feeling gratitude.
- Okay. Yeah. Love it.
- Whoo!
- One of your ears is hot and the other one is cold.
- All right, I feel good.
- You are completely healthy.
- We're good. You're good.
- I feel great. I'm proud of my team.
- Yeah, doing... -
guys, you're k*lling it.
I'm gonna have everyone
come in here, too.
- Porsha: Okay.
- And file them in.
Thank you. And we'll get it
done a lot quicker, captain.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Love y'all!
Tallulah's very open,
and what's cool about her
Is she really anticipates needs.
And I think that's an
excellent quality in a leader,
Something you don't always see.
Now, adam, how would
you rate your happiness
- On a scale of one to ten?
- Ten.
- Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
- Porsha: Yes, that's high!
I've never been happier.
- Aww!
- That's cool.
You've never been happier?
That's so good to know.
- That's amazing.
- Your temperature is healthy.
Good.
Computer: Bio dome
team, your task today
Is to fertilize the food crops.
- You want more water? I'll fill this back up.
- Perfect. Thank you.
Ronda: Getting dirty
with the plants, I love it.
I think that little area's
gonna become really important
For me to harness my
chi and take a deep breath
And just watch things grow.
Computer: Mars' natural
resources are precious.
[ humming ]
Water and sunlight are
essential for your survival.
All right.
All related systems must
be maintained at all times.
Ariel: So how you feeling, tom?
Well, here's the
thing here, ariel.
I'm so grateful to be here.
But that being said,
Mars sucks.
[ sighs ]
This thing is dirty.
Alrighty. Let's get
it to friggin' work.
- [ panting ]
- how you feeling?
I am struggling.
It's definitely uncomfortable,
but it's confidence building.
You know, out of
comfort zone, so...
We're doing it though. Yeah.
We're doing the damn thing.
And it's hot as ba*ls in here.
Oh, [ bleep ].
Ariel: Life on mars is hard.
The suit's over
half my bodyweight,
And I'm trying to
clean something
And I'm way too short for this.
I definitely would much rather
be commander because this...
This is a wtf if
I've ever had one.
- Okay, good. I think it's clean enough.
- I think it's clean enough.
Whew!
Should I save the excess water?
Yeah, I mean, I guess we
don't need it. Just dump it.
[ sighs ] watch
out for the hole.
Computer: Prepare
for decontamination.
Hit me with it, baby.
[ creaking ]
[ beeping ]
[ bleep ] is that?
[ creaking ]
[ grunting ]
Tom: So we get back to the hab.
- There you go. Yeah.
- Thank you.
We're dirty, stinky...
At least I am.
Covered in martian
dust again. That's okay.
'cause we're gonna
take a nice shower.
Oh, the water
doesn't [ bleep ] work.
Gonna need water.
We have no running water.
- Ariel?
- Yeah?
- Is your water working?
- I don't know. Let me look.
It's not working!
Not having water on mars is...
- It's not okay.
- [ indistinct chatter ]
The water's off. I can't even
wash my [ bleep ] hands.
I know. This is the
worst thing to ever.
This is a nightmare situation.
- I can't even wash my hands.
- Unacceptable.
Can we flush toilets?
You can flush it once.
[ alarm blaring ]
Computer: Incoming
message from mission control.
Okay. Everybody!
All crew, report to
the command center.
We're all here! We're all here!
Come on. All right,
everyone listen up!
- Listen up, please!
- Shatty daddy!
- Oh.
- Oh!
Hello, mars crew,
how's it going?
Don't answer that.
I can't hear you.
- I'm just being polite.
- Okay.
Shatner: There's
been a steam eruption
At the hab's exterior
water filtration unit.
Your water supply
has already run out.
- Water?
- Gross! I'm so nasty!
The good news, there's frozen water
locked away deep under the surface of mars.
The bad news?
You have to get it.
- [ gasps ]
- tonight?
Shatner: And it's
not gonna be easy.
Ooh, jeez.
I'm downloading
all of the information
For your base commander now.
They are in charge
and will determine
Who is mission
critical and who is not.
Oh, and if you fail, your base
commander is up for extraction as well.
This mission will test
your leadership skills
And will earn you
a mission patch.
Commander, you need a
mission specialist by your side,
And remember that they
will be safe from extraction.
Your training has prepared
you for this mo... oh?
What? They haven't been trained?
Oh. At all?
- Okay. Good luck.
- Oh, my god!
- Okay. Thank you.
- He k*lled it.
- I love that.
- Love him.
Computer: Base commander,
You must pick a
mission specialist.
This is a big deal
because we chose tallulah
To be the commander
because we want her energy.
So that means that
the second commander
Is like, okay, the real deal.
So, like, this is
a serious vote.
You had me in the
first half, and then...
As base commander,
I wanna do a really good job.
I need a mission specialist
who is a team player.
I mean, this is no joke.
I'd like to throw
my hand in the ring.
I get her. She's my bunkmate.
And I can kind of translate
when she gets too woo-woo
And no one knows
what she's talking about
Even though she's the
main person in charge.
I'll be able to translate that.
To be honest, I just don't
wanna go out on mars.
I'd like to stay in and just order
people around on the microphone.
As base commander,
I choose natasha.
- [ cheering ] - I
mean, shotgun!
Tallulah: Me and natasha
are ready to give this a go.
Very confident that we can get
this done, because we have to.
[ alarm blaring ]
Computer: Crew,
prepare for deployment.
Departure in two minutes.
- [ indistinct chatter ]
- [ alarm continues ]
Richard: We done ran
out of water on mars,
So we gotta go make this happen.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
All right, guys,
let's get this water.
Ariel: I can't really believe
I'm on mars doing missions.
This whole experience isn't
something you get every day.
Team, do you hear me?
- Yes.
- Copy.
We need you to
rappel down a cliff,
Extract water from the
roof of the cave system,
And then pump it
up to the surface.
Oh, my god. This is amazing!
[ cheering, laughing ]
I just saw, "whoo!"
It just dropped off.
I thought it was,
like, 500 feet down.
Computer: Base commander,
Select two crew
members to stay up top
And receive water.
The remaining crew will
rappel down into the caves
To pump water up.
We would like two of the
crew to be adam and ariel.
So just to confirm, the people who
are currently scheduled to go down
Are comfortable and
happy to go into the cave?
No, marshawn is
not going in no cave.
Marshawn: I'm not rappelling
off the side into no cave
Where I don't know if there's
no snakes or spiders in that thing.
If marshawn doesn't
wanna go down,
- Then he can switch with adam.
- Yep.
Okay, so you're ready to go.
If we can have lance and
porsha to go start towards the cliff
To start rappelling down.
Porsha: Oh, gosh,
that is a big cliff.
I was called upon
to go off a cliff
To go down into the caves
to get the water, okay?
But I have a fear of heights,
a very real fear of heights.
- You got this, girl.
- [ whimpering ]
- Okay.
- We're here for you.
We're gonna have to switch
hands when you turn around, okay?
Okay.
Just walk... walk straight back.
[ whimpering ]
Computer: Seven crew
must rappel down to the cave,
Collect the water, and
pump it to the surface.
I was called upon
to go off a cliff
To go down into the caves
to get the water, okay?
But I have a fear of heights,
a very real fear of heights.
[ whimpering ]
[ continues whimpering ]
- You got it?
- Yeah.
[ whimpering ]
You got it. Don't look back.
Nope, you don't need to.
Yeah.
[ whimpering ]
You got it. You got it, porsha.
[ whimpering ]
- Okay.
- It's got you. It's got you.
You're doing amazing.
You're doing amazing.
Wait, my feet are
leaving. Hold on, my feet...
- Hold on, my feet are leaving the wall.
- Walk your feet back.
Walk your feet... look
at me. Look at me.
- Hold on. My feet are leaving the wall.
- Look over here. That's okay.
[ gasping ]
- [ bleeping ] - now you've gotten
it. Now you getting it, porsha.
It's not going to let you go.
Good girl, porsha. Stay relaxed.
- Yes, good. Just relax.
- You got it.
- There you go.
- There you go, porsha.
- There you go.
- Tallulah: Yeah!
You got it. Keep breathing.
This was the most terrifying
thing I have ever done.
I just felt a total
accomplishment.
- Adam: You got it. You got it.
- I didn't tell y'all I was afraid of heights.
We need adam and richard
on deck to rappel next.
- Let's go, adam!
- I look like g*y buzz lightyear.
[ laughter ]
Oh, my god, you guys.
- It's amazing.
- Yeah!
Whoo!
Tom, you'll be going down alone.
Ariel and marshawn,
you will be staying up.
- Is it big down there?
- It's huge. It's huge.
- It's huge.
- It's like a big gulch.
Oh, then, yeah, I wanna go.
Does someone wanna
stay here instead of me?
I just wanna do
something. Like, if it's not...
- Ariel, you have a big job.
- It's just not happening yet.
I just really wanted
to do something
That I would never normally do
And push myself out
of my comfort zone,
And so I volunteered to do it.
Uh, base commander, I'm
happy to relinquish my duty.
I think ariel's
experiencing a little fomo.
I felt like it was a
big moment for her,
And I wanted her
to have that moment.
Having strong crew in
the cave is recommended.
- Are we wasting tom?
- No, no, I mean, I think that's...
Um... [ sighs ]
Are we focused on the mission?
All right, ariel, start
rappelling down.
Don't worry if
you slip a little.
There you go. You got
this, girl. You doing it.
You're doing it.
You're doing it.
Yep, you're in
the safe zone now.
Computer: Descent complete.
Initiate water
extraction mission.
Are you ready to go into
that cave and kick some a*s?
- Yeah!
- Born that way, baby!
We are going to utilize a
microwave extracting device
To melt the ice to get the
water from the ice into a bucket
That pumps up to the surface
where tom and marshawn
- Will have them into containment buckets.
- Copy that.
Tom or marshawn, please copy.
[ drumming ]
[ humming ]
Marshawn, do you copy?
Marshawn, do you copy?
Hey, this is tom and
marshawn standing by.
We don't have water up here yet.
[ humming ]
Natasha: Lance,
there's gonna be
The funneling and the catch-all.
You wanna move back and
create almost like a long slide.
Exactly.
This isn't rocket science.
The water's up
there, the tarp is here.
It all goes like this, and
just get it in the barrel.
Tallulah: You will have
For the mission to be a success,
Extract all the water into
four containment buckets
Or else the
mission is a failure.
We're ready for the
button to be pushed.
It's on. It's green.
Computer: Microwave
emitter activated.
- Commander, what do we do?
- Tallulah: Catch the water.
Catch the water as best you can.
Don't let that get heavy.
Let's go towards
richard a little bit.
- Move this way.
- Wait, it's coming out the middle.
Go back. Move
back. Move the tarp.
As the water pools up,
the tarp goes from being
Basically weightless to
being 10 pounds, 15 pounds.
So then everybody had to figure out
how to hold the tarp without losing water.
Oh, [ bleep ]. It's hard.
- Keep going.
- All right. We got this, guys. We're doing it.
- Shatty daddy gonna be so proud.
- Good work.
Ay, the buckets is filling!
Tom: We got water. We got water.
Okay, tom, marshawn,
when it gets to the fill line,
We gotta go to the next barrel.
Got you.
I'm so impressed by you
guys, and really incredible work.
Natasha: My role
in today's mission
Is mostly to translate
What tallulah is telling them
In case there's any confusion
from her constant positivity.
Okay, team, you
have 14 minutes left.
- Anybody know how much water we need?
- No, but more. More.
With the way marshawn takes
showers, we're gonna need more than this.
Tom: Yeah, we got water!
We got our first barrel.
Tallulah: Okay, we are one
quarter of the way there, you guys.
The water's still
filling. It's good.
Marshawn's filling up the
second barrel as we speak.
- This... put this part higher.
- Higher?
I can't hold it above my head.
Tinashe: We're
physically exhausted,
We are soaking wet,
But I tried my best.
[ stammering ]
We have 3 1/2 barrels.
Tallulah: We got six minutes
left, and you're k*lling it.
You guys have minutes
to spare, to party and talk,
And get to know
each other even more.
It's gonna feel so good when
we shower after this though.
Ariel: Oh, no! The
water's getting out!
- Could someone help me do this?
- Somebody assist ariel.
Natasha: We were definitely
gonna win this mission,
And then the pipes disconnected.
And hopefully when
my daughter watches it,
She'll think I did a great job
sitting there doing nothing.
We have 3 1/2 barrels.
- Holy [ bleep ].
- Yes.
We got six minutes
left, and you're k*lling it.
Ariel: Oh, no! The
water's getting out!
- [ grunting ] - it's
gonna be heavy.
Can someone help me do this?
We're losing water
pressure up here.
- Help me with the pipe!
- Somebody assist ariel.
Can you please help with the
water point, the funnel pipe?
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Yeah, I think I knew how
physical it was going to be,
I maybe wouldn't
have switched with tom.
[ bleep ]
How much water do
you think they lost?
The tank has to
be all the way full.
We need to lift this up higher.
We lost, I think,
a lot of water.
- I got it!
- We got it. The pipe's connected.
- Let the water through.
- Expose as much tarp as we can.
Bam. Water.
Oh, [ bleep ]. We're
back up. We're back up.
Let's just try to
catch everything.
Tallulah: We got
two minutes on time.
Base command. Base
command, this is schwartz.
What's the minimum we need?
Tom, it's four to
complete the mission.
- We have 2 1/2 buckets.
- What?
- You said you had 3 1/2.
- I misspoke. We have 2 1/2 barrels.
Tom misspoke.
Quite honestly, this is one of the
reasons why I wanted ariel on top.
She's super smart,
And I really don't think ariel
would've messed that up.
You know, I haven't showered.
I haven't had any water all day.
No big deal. Just some
extra gallons unaccounted for.
I'm sure we'll be
fine, you know?
Natasha: We've
got 30 seconds left.
Marshawn, is the
third bucket full?
- No.
- We're filling up the third.
- Okay, come on.
- Tight and high.
- Yes, water's coming! Yes!
- No wasted drops.
- We need that water pushed in.
- All right.
Ten seconds, you guys.
We are close to the
third bucket being full.
About to transfer
to the fourth bucket.
- Time.
- [ buzzer ]
Computer: Ice deposit depleted.
Three of four water
barrels collected.
Mission failed.
[ radio chatter ]
We're done. No more water.
[ bleep ]
I'm so sorry, you guys.
[ sighs ]
Tinashe: I think having
that switch happen,
That was a big fumble
on the part of tallulah.
That was a big fumble.
All right, let's go. Hey, pack
it up, everybody. Pack it up.
- Well, we got three buckets.
- I thought we had 3 1/2.
Hey, it happens
like that sometimes.
Chin up. Chest up. Let's go.
[ alarm blaring ]
Computer: Tallulah,
this mission has failed.
Go to the outer airlock.
Natasha, you are now in command.
Tallulah: The mission did fail.
As base commander, that does
mean that I am up for elimination.
Yeah, it's hard not to feel
Like did I let them down?
Computer: A failed mission
means no patches will be awarded.
- Mission commander, what are you doing here?
- With the outfit on?
And who wants to
send tallulah home?
Like, that's the
sweetest person ever.
It's like having to part with
your favorite teddy bear.
- [ beeping ] - computer: Incoming
message from mission control.
Tough luck, crew.
The mission failed.
Damn it.
Mission specialist, it's
time for a difficult decision.
There is not enough
water for everyone.
Which crew member
is not mission critical?
Sorry, shatty daddy.
It's sad every time we come back
Because we know
someone's going to have to go,
And I think we've become
such a tight-knit group.
Natasha: The first person
who is mission critical...
Ariel.
[ cheering ]
- Great job. Mish crit.
- Hey!
You got a great
attitude, k*lled it.
Am I getting blast...
- Ooh.
- Yes, I'm getting blasted.
- The next person... tinashe!
- [ cheering ]
Tinashe, you were so
brave. You just did it.
I think that everyone
who was in the cave today
Was extremely mission critical.
Natasha: Richard. Sir richard.
[ cheering ]
Ronda rousey!
Ronda: This was
all hands on deck,
Everyone working their a*s off.
Natasha: Miss porsha.
- Yes!
- Adam.
- [ cheering ]
- whoo!
Natasha: And the last person
Who has proven to
be mission critical,
Let's give it up for lancé.
- [ cheering ] -
be-lancé in the house.
If I had to pick an mvp
today for our team...
Let me think about it.
Yeah, definitely me.
Tom: I gotta be honest. Being the
bottom three again, it kind of sucks.
Okay, I misspoke once.
Marshawn: You know, my
job was pretty self-explanatory.
Put the hose in the bucket.
And if I didn't do a
good enough job for that,
Then it is what it is.
Tallulah: I really
tried to give it my all.
And that's the thing, I
think that no matter what,
I know I've stayed
true to myself
And I know that I care about
these wonderful human beings.
Computer: Enter the
decontamination zone.
- Uh-oh.
- So we need to decide now
Between tallulah,
tom, and marshawn.
Who do we find the
least mission critical?
This isn't just, like,
a social retreat.
We're here to survive on mars.
Ariel: You gotta think
about what type of person
That could help us
out for future missions.
Okay, tallulah, can you tell
me why you're mission critical?
I care about your
experience out there.
I care about how you feel.
To some, that
might not be critical
To completing the mission.
Clearly, I didn't,
which I acknowledge.
And, really, I just love
hanging out with you guys.
- That's it.
- When tom and ariel decided to switch,
I would've expected
the commander to say,
"wait a minute. This
is very physical."
To say, "you know what? No,
tom. You cannot switch with her."
I was trying to say I wanted richard
and tom to be holding the sticks.
- Okay, marshawn.
- I am mission critical because I did my part of the mission.
- Natasha: Okay.
- He did. He did.
One big con, let's be honest,
He wasn't going
backwards over the cliff.
- Heights aren't for everybody.
- Right.
Natasha: Tom, do you feel bad
That you got the
amount of barrels wrong?
Yes, I misspoke.
Honestly, tom counted
the water buckets wrong.
Which is really crazy, 'cause
how do you count to four wrong?
- I don't know how that happens.
- Here's the thing though.
I'm kind of glasses
half full kind of guy.
- So, you know...
- [ laughing ]
- Tom: I just...
- So that was just you being positive?
- Yeah.
- Okay. That is a good answer.
Yeah, I don't see a
way you can kick guys off
Who did the only job
they could do at the time
- That was asked of them.
- Natasha: I hear you.
Ronda: And if you're the leader,
Even if it's not your fault,
even it's nobody's fault,
- Any failure is on your shoulders, you know?
- Adam: Yeah, it falls you.
- Ronda: That's part of being the leader.
- Natasha: Yeah, I understand.
Okay, we made a
decision as a crew.
Marshawn, you
were mission critical.
- Woohoo!
- Whoo!
Ronda: I don't know if
marshawn did a very good job
- Of selling himself.
- What's up? What's up?
But I also think he didn't
really need to, you know?
You don't stay on mars because
you're good at selling yourself.
You stay on mars because
if we need you to lift
A [ bleep ] satellite
dish, he's the guy.
- [ distant chatter ]
- whoo!
- Wanna sweat it out together.
- I see you, my guy.
Okay, it's down to our
final two crew members,
Our base commander and tom.
- Don't look at me.
- Aww, tom. Don't cry.
Tom: I think I have what it takes
to survive on mars, you know?
I got at least some
brains left over.
I'm physically fit.
And I'm willing to
do whatever it takes
To make this mission a success.
Natasha: The last person
who is mission critical
Is you, tom.
- I did my best.
- Computer: Tallulah, you are not mission critical
And must leave
the hab immediately.
[ music playing ]
I love you all. I love you all.
- We love you.
- We love you, too!
Tinashe: At the end of the day,
The only person
that we could blame
Was the leadership.
Tallulah: The most
challenging part for me
Was really underestimating
the physical abilities
Needed for the missions.
So that created a lot of
anxiety and panic for me.
Not only did I make it
work and find leadership
Capabilities within myself
I didn't know were there,
I found joy and deep
connections with people.
I am very proud of myself.
Yeah! So, yeah! Yeah!
You live fight another day, tom!
Whoo! My god. Back
to back chopping blocks?
- Makes you stronger though.
- Can I go in the shower now?
Yeah, we're gonna let everyone
shower. People are pretty uncomfortable.
Tom: I have martian dust in
every orifice in my entire body,
And we're low on water, but we've
got just enough to take a shower.
- Tommy! Shower time!
- [ cheering ]
And after that, who knows
what's gonna happen, you know?
Shatner: Next time
on "stars on mars..."
- [ gasping ] - [
screaming, laughing ]
- It's an alien!
- Hey, I ain't giving up this room though.
- You're no longer the commander.
- Oh!
Fire! Oh, my
god, there's a fire!
It's moving fast!
There's a fire!
Computer: Evacuate immediately.
Every day something.
Go, go!
- [ indistinct chatter ]
- [ screaming ]
A fire? We've been so careful.
Feels like
it's gonna be a long day.
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