01x04 - Hit and Run, Just for Fun

[bunniefuu]

On this episode of "So
Dumb It's Criminal,"

we'll see scammers give

criminally creative
performances,

law enforcement showing
how not to make moves

on the dance floor,

and holiday greeting done

the dumb-criminal way.

Hey!

Welcome to "So Dumb
It's Criminal."

It's like TikTok, but
instead of dancing children,

it's dumb-a*s criminals.

Here's my panel, a.k.a.
the usual suspects...

Affion Crockett

and my nephew Godfrey.

And allow me to
introduce a woman

whose always styling with
the criminal profiling,

our clip keeper... The
lovely Tacarra Williams.

Sweet T, what's good?

What up, Snoop?

Scams, Snoop! Scams.

Anyone here ever been
the victim of a scam?

- Of course.
- I have, yeah, I've been,

I'm Nigerian, so you know we do.

- Uh-oh.
- [ Laughter ]

- He said, "I am the scam."
- Yeah, yeah.

'Cause that's when
you know it's a scam,

when the Nigerian picture
shows up and he's like...

[ Laughter ]

- Okay.
- It's like,

[Nigerian accent] "My
brother, I need $10,000 now."

[ Normal voice ]
It's like, what?

[ Nigerian accent ]
"My daughter is dying.

Please send it to me, and
I promise to pay you back."

And $1 million... they pay
you back $1 million, right.

[ Laughter ]

Affion?

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you
know, I had this chick...

She told me that her
hair was real, like...

- Oh, wow.
- So we was doing the thing,

you know what I mean?
We was face-to-face,

and I grabbed the situation,
and it came off in my hand.

I thought I was
looking into a mirror.

- We had the same face.
- Okay.

I was like, "God
damn it, she got me."

All right, and the Godfather
himself, you ever been...

Scammed? No, no, no, no.

I don't get scammed,
I do the scamming.

All right, well, look,
everybody has a hustle,

and these people get
an "A" for effort

on the "Scammer Time."

Scammer time!

Guys, so in this first
clip, we have a lady

that was in a business
dispute with a lorry truck

and came up with this
dumb-a*s plan for revenge.

Lady on a bike,
running with a bike.

- Look at this, look at this.
- Yo.

Look.

[ Laughter ]

What... that was the
wackest run ever.

The brittle run.

I'm surprised her hips enabled
her to even pull that scam off.

She run down the road like this.

- Right.
- That was so whack.

Look, look, she toss...

Look, she tossed the
bike and then the...

But the bike didn't
get hit, though.

You supposed to throw the
bike in front of mother...

- Yeah!
- Just the fact

that everybody stopped,
like she do this regular.

Even the truck was like,
"What are you doing?"

- Yeah, yeah.
- Right.

- "I saw you."
- "I saw you the whole time."

"I saw you, lady."

- You're not fast.
- I know!

And the other dude
on the bike's like,

"Damn, I should have
thought of that."

- Right.
- Damn!

Look... they all
standing around like,

"Yeah man, Quay Ching
at it again, man.

She out here bullshitting."

[ Laughter ]

All right! See, some
people have no shame,

especially the scammer
in this next clip.

- Watch out for the baby.
- Oh, oh.

Bam! She hit the
baby with the car

and then threw
herself under the car.

Oh, what's going on

- with these bad actors?
- Look at her feet.

That m*therf*cker
backing up out of there.

Now she's having a seizure?

A full tantrum under the car.

But is she being tazed?

What is she
re-enacting right now?

- [ Laughing ]
- Is she being tazed.

You get your a*s out of the
street before I really hit you.

[ Laughter ]

Can we see this again?

It's just bad acting on a scam.

But again, like the
last clip, Godfrey...

- What's this?
- The n*gga can see her.

He can see... The
windshield is big as f*ck.

"I saw you in my side mirror."

"What the f*ck are you doing?"

[ Laughing ] You're right.

What the f*ck?

All right, so while Snoop
goes and catches his breath,

this next guy may be a con,

but I'm impressed
by his confidence

and, of course,
his perfect form.

n*gga!

[ Laughter ]

That was an Olympic dive, right?

[ Laughter ]

It's like in the Olympics...

"Well, you can see his
dive was a little off.

Especially the gold...

I don't think he's gonna
get the gold on that one,

'cause his feet were a
little bit separate."

- I disagree.
- That technique was flawless.

But the way he projected,

didn't get good
propulsion on that.

But he lowered his head.

But he's still alive, so
that will be a bronze.

[ Laughter ]

All right, now let's see
the next scam caught on cam.

Oh, my God.

This man just hit
me with his car.

- Are you done?
- Oh, my, no.

This can go on for the rest
of my m*therf*cking life.

So if I give you a
dollar, you'll move?

- I can't breathe, Lord.
- This man hit me.

I didn't touch you.

You asked me for a dollar
and then fell on the ground.

Do you have a dollar?

No, I don't have
a f*cking dollar.

[ Laughter ]

Black Lives Matter.

He said, "How long you
gonna go on like this?"

She said, "For the rest
of my m*therf*cking life."

[ Laughter ]

So let me ask you
a question, Affion.

A homeless person
asks you for a dollar,

you say no, and they do this
behind your car, what you doing?

They gonna be homeless
with no legs because...

Okay.

Especially if I'm filming it,

it's like, "No, n*gga,
you asked for the dollar.

You laying in front of my car.
I'm asking you nicely to leave."

- Right.
- "I'm f*cking your legs up."

Okay.

That escalated quickly.
All right, Snoop,

somebody come by and say,
"Hey, man, you got a dollar?"

You say, "No," they say,
"Well, f*ck it, I'm laying

in front of your
car," what you doing?

Then I'm gonna grab this
fake Usher money that I got.

[ Laughter ]

There's about a $1,000 of
it, right, and I'm just gonna

throw that sh*t in the
air and make it rain,

and they gonna get
their b*tch a*s up

and go chase it, and
I'm gonna drive off.

That's funny.

But you can also
pay them in crypto.

- Ooh. Nice.
- Yeah. Hey, hey! Yeah!

All right, so as
always, these next clips

show people doing
questionable things,

but should these be real crimes,

or are they just illegalish?

First up, check out this
Robin Hood of old-a*s TVs.

One Virginia neighborhood
has been left puzzled

after a prankster left
dozens of old TV sets

on people's front porches.

That person is wearing a TV set
while dropping off the old sets.

- Look at this m*therf*cker.
- Come on, dude.

Dumbass m*therf*cker.

I'da threw some water on
his a*s and plugged him up.

I hope that sh*t got stuck
on his g*dd*mn head, too.

- Dumbass.
- "Man, somebody take this

m*therf*cker off me, man,
I'm tired of this sh*t."

I'll tell you what...
You pull up on my porch

looking like that and
dropping some sh*t off,

I'm thinking it's a b*mb.

You gonna catch some heat.

[ Laughter ]

But real talk... if any of
y'all are sitting in real time

and y'all see that
sh*t on your Ring,

you're not gonna be calming
saying, "Oh, that's so sweet."

You're gonna sh**t the
sh*t out this n*gga.

Okay. These guys are crazy,

but next up, usually
it's not a problem.

- No, he's crazy, Tacarra.
- The n*gga has a TV on his head.

[ Laughter ]

Punk your head, TV head.

- That's what I'm saying.
- Ah!

- All right, I see it.
- b*ll*ts in your a*s.

b*ll*ts in your a*s
from Affion Crockett.

Oh, my f*cking face is hurting.

Usually it's not a
problem to tell people

what you had for lunch,

but this guy went
a little too far.

Hey, I pull this
Mr. Dylan Webb over,

'cause he has a statement
on the back of his truck

- that says, "I Eat a*s."
- "I Eat a*s." [laughs]

I asked him to take
one of the letters off

so that it is no longer
derogatory and he's refusing.

Well, what are you
charging him with?

I'm charging him with
obscene writing on a vehicle.

[ Laughter ]

All right, Mr. Webb,
let me see your hands.

Place your hands
behind your back.

- For what?
- Place your hands

- behind your back.
- For what?

Because you're going
to jail, fella.

- For what?
- For what?

Because I gave you the option

to take that off
your window, okay.

That is a violation of
a Florida State statute.

- It is a misdemeanor, okay?
- A misdemeanor?

And I asked you to take
it off and you refused.

Let's step back here.

I kind of like to see a
white guy getting arrested.

It's about time.

[ Laughter ]

I don't give a sh*t what
he gets arrested for.

Now you know how we feel.
f*cking get out of here.

You know what? Case closed.

- Case closed.
- I'm just happy to see that.

I'm gonna go with
what Godfrey says.

- He goes, "What did I do?"
- Who gives a sh*t?

[ Laughter ]

Story of my g*dd*mn life.

- Black Lives Matter.
- Yours don't. Let's go.

[ Laughter ]

But that cop is like...
It's funny to see that.

Yeah, here's the
thing... It's really bad.

"It says, 'I Eat a*s.' Yeah."

The sarge is like this...
"Who gives a sh*t?

Let him go, man.
We all eat a*s."

[ Laughter ]

He did get arrested,

but the charges were dropped due
to his First Amendment rights.

- You know, he checked it.
- He checked the rules first.

He was like, "Okay, let me
check all the amendments.

Okay, cool. I eat a*s."

- Yeah, I can say that.
- I can say it. That's right.

You driving, Affion,
you see this on the back

of somebody's car,
what you thinking?

- I'm not thinking anything.
- On the back of my car,

it's gonna say, "Me Too."

[ Laughter ]

I don't need to think anything.

Ladies, I eat a*s.

Clean a*s, though.

If it were me and I was
driving behind this guy

and he had this on his
car, I might try to pull up

beside him and see
what he look like.

- Exactly.
- But that dude looked like

he eat the whole a*s.

Oh, you're
entertaining that, huh?

You ever see somebody do
something or say something

so crazy on their car or
something, you're like,

"What the f*ck to
they look like?

I wanna see what
they look like."

[ Laughter ]

Moving on, so here's
a woman getting busted

for not returning a VHS rental.

It was a moment of
disbelief for Karen McBride

as she was talking to
the Cleveland County.

District Attorney's
Office this week,

where she learned she
was a wanted felon

for never returning
"Sabrina the Teenage Witch"

on VHS 21 years ago.

Online documents show McBride
was charged with embezzlement

in March of 2000 but never
knew about the charges

until recently when
trying to change her name

on her license after
getting married.

You know how many
m*therf*cking Blockbuster VHS

- tapes I stole?
- I've still got them.

When they sh*t went out of
business, I wasn't trying

to look for them. I
stole the m*therf*ckers.

You know how many g*dd*mn
streaming passwords

I got from other people?

Hell yeah.

I ain't never signed
up for Netflix.

They don't know me.

I'm on 18 other
n*gg*s' passwords.

[ Laughter ]

All them other n*gg*s'
family share...

Them, their wife, their
kids, and then Affion.

Yeah, the whole
family be on there.

You ever changed
somebody else name?

I got a phantom
name on the account.

- Hell yeah.
- Yeah.

- Stay right where you're at.
- We'll be right back with more.

"So Dumb It's Criminal."

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

And where the f*ck y'all been?

What took you so
long to get back?

Hey, Tacarra, what's happening?

All right, so up next,
we have some people

who took time out
from breaking the law

to break it down.

It's time for "Dancing
with the Subpars."

♪♪

Okay, so we've all heard
of breaking and entering,

but how about breaking
and break dancing?

Here's a dude who did both.

♪♪

First of all...

Hey, hey, hey, hey! With
the Walkman in his hand.

That n*gga popping
skills was weak.

- It was whack as sh*t.
- That's one thing about us...

We're like, if
you're gonna dance,

then you'd better
have some rhythm.

Uh, you're under arrest
for shitty pop locking.

- That was horrible.
- Let me see his move again.

- Yeah, uh!
- Oh, ugh.

- Uh, uh.
- Ooh.

- He just did this seven times.
- Boo!

I'd have battled that n*gga,
then called the cops on him.

Just, like, a little pop move.

Get him, get him,
get him, get him.

Yeah, son. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Let me get a little piece.

Man, pass that move over to God.

- Ah, eh, ooh.
- Man, put the hump back.

[ Laughter ]

Ah! Yeah! Ah!

Let me get that. Oh,
give it to Snoop.

- Pass it over to, uh!
- Hey!

Oh! Oh, yeah!

- Hey!
- Uh!

[ Laughter ]

That's how your b*tch
a*s supposed to pop lock.

I like it. All right, so
our next subpar dancer

is an off-duty FBI agent
who was caught on local news

k*lling it on the
dance floor... almost.

This morning, the FBI says
it's reviewing this incident

of an off-duty agent
at a Denver nightclub

dancing the night away

until his g*n gets
away. [ g*nsh*t ]

- Oh sh*t.
- This n*gga g*n went off.

- Damn.
- The funny thing is,

he was k*lling it
for a white party.

- He was f*cking it up.
- The way his legs was moving?

- They were like, "Josh!
- Do the knee thing again."

[ Laughter ]

"Do the knee thing.
Oh, I love that move."

They're like, "Good
moves, Josh. Go on."

- Josh, you're f*cking amazing.
- "Good job. Do the flip, bro."

- Oh, sh*t, oh!
- Oh.

It sure did fire.

- Give the g*n smoke, bro.
- He's a real popper.

Yo, man, I love the
g*n smoke move, man,

when you flip and
then the g*n goes off.

- Yeah.
- sh*t's hot.

Yeah, you gotta work on that.

Dude, you hit me
right in the leg, man.

I can't wait for you
to do it again, though.

He's like this. He's
like, "Go lower, Josh.

All right. Now give
them the flip, bro.

You know what time it
is. Let the g*n go off."

- Oh, my God.
- All right, so if you guys are

at a party, somebody's
dancing, does the flip,

g*n pops out, goes
off, what you doing?

We've been at parties where
there's g*ns going off.

We... we get the
f*ck out of there.

Like, when you hear a g*nsh*t
at a party, you're leaving.

- Yeah.
- You ain't asking no questions.

No questions. I don't even
know if you're gonna look

for the people you came with.
You're getting out of there.

You start counting n*gg*s
when you get to the car.



[ Laughter ]

All right, so this next
guy proves the time

to show off your moves is not
during a field sobriety test.

All right, are you
complete with the exercise?

- No, not really.
- You're not complete? Okay.

Continue till you feel
that you've completed.

Ah! Ah!

- Oh, he f*cked it up.
- That was cold.

I liked that more than
little [indistinct].

Well, that was just an
example of white privilege,

- let's just keep it 100.
- Yeah, he's not going to jail.

He's like, "You're not
gonna arrest me, as*h*le."

That's what you
would call a DWI...

A dancing white idiot.

- A dancing white idiot?
- A dancing white idiot.

All right, so this next
girl wanted more than

just a drink from a guy.
Look at her show off

some of her shadiest
moves on the dance floor.

Hey. Hey.

- This is awesome.
- Hey.

- This is awesome.
- That's a reggae party.

She's finna to hit this
n*gga for his wallet?

- She's taking his wallet, yes.
- That was awesome.

He got a hood on

while getting his hard-on.

He ain't paying attention.

- [ Accent ] Look at the...
- Can he not see nothing?

Look at him... he done
taking it poom-poom.

The crazy thing about this is
that I'm not even mad at her

because it took so much
time to get this done.

- He think he screwing it, cuz.
- You see him?

- That n*gga...
- Yeah, he pumps it.

How does he not feel it?

How did he not
feel that, though?

- Thank you!
- Bring that back, man.

That n*gga think he
really screwing, man.

Like, the way he pumping,
like, right there.

Yeah.

That n*gga pumping like
he in there, like...

But you out, you
dancing with a girl,

you reach down,
your wallet's gone,

- what you doing, Snoop?
- Hey, man, go find that

stinking-a*s b*tch
I was dancing with.

What you doing, Affion?

First of all, I don't carry
my wallet in my back pocket,

so he was a dumb-a*s
for doing that sh*t.

So my wallet is right
where I'd be pumping at,

you know what I mean?

She would have
grabbed my d*ck first.

That's what would have happened,
'cause it's always in the way.

If you get to the
wallet, you went too far.

You made a long left.

- Godfrey.
- Um, if it was me,

I'd let her take it.

All the credit cards don't work.

[ Laughter ]

All right, that's it
for our subpar dancers.

We'll be right back.

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

Good evening. I'm Snoop Dogg.

And welcome to
Disaster Piece Theater.

Our film this evening tells
a tale of human resolve.

I dare you not to root
for this m*therf*cker.

Here our hero attempts
to enter a liquor store

through a ceiling duct.

He's blasted out
his g*dd*mn mind.

Ceiling tiles fall
until he plummets

through the ceiling
onto the ground.

Our drunken angel descends.

After gathering his bounty,
he looks for an exit.

He needs to escape,
but he's trapped.

He realizes it's
only one way out...

An impossible path.

Like those tequila bottles,
all hope is crushed.

With only the strength
left to light a Lucy,

he awaits his fate.

I respect a man who knows
when he's been defeated.

I ain't been this upset
about a criminal surrender

since Queen Latifah
in "Set It Off."

Now please enjoy "So
Dumb It's Criminal."

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

Stupidity doesn't
take a holiday,

but our next clips involve

the most wonderful
crimes of the year.

[ Christmas tune plays ]

Everyone knows Christmastime
is a time for giving,

but apparently it's also
a time for stealing.

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

- From Santa on stilts.
- Get over here!

He jumped up and took...
Who steals a tree?

Get off the stilts, 'cause how
you gonna run on your stilts?

- Get over here.
- Right.

m*therf*cking Santa Claus

really sticking to the
naughty list this year.

He got hops. Nice!

Ooh, he ran really fast, too.

Santa Claus way over there,
cuz, in the North Pole.

That's hilarious.

[ Laughter ]

Now, when you leave
your car outside,

it's likely to get broken into.

But this is some
real "fowl" play.

And telling Fox 6 that the tire

was taken off his vehicle
and stolen and replaced...

Well, you see it right
there... With a turkey.

I've never seen anything
like this before.

I've heard of people,
you know, putting bricks,

but I've never heard
of a turkey underneath.

- [ Laughter ]
- What do you do with that?

We just got to applaud,
though. My man!

That's stupid-a*s sh*t.

Well, it looks like
we have another member

into my Dumb m*therf*cking
Hall of Fame.

[ Laughter ]

That n*gga put a
turkey up on this sh*t.

I don't even understand
why they would do that

to a n*gga like me. I'm
out here working hard,

I'm out here trying to do
my m*therf*cking thing,

and he gonna leave a
turkey up under my tire?

[ Laughter ]

All right, then
there's the story

of the Cali k*ll a Clowns,

who are accused of scaring
people in San Diego.

Clowns are now
terrorizing San Diego.

You're scaring people.

Not so much as scaring people,

but we're walking
around taking pictures,

and if they happen to
see us and get scared,

then there's nothing
we can do about that.

Chucklez says they started

earlier this week
in National City.

It's the month of October.

It's time to get
scared a little bit.

A little bit for some.

For others, this is
an absolute nightmare.

- The new Insane Clown Posse.
- Hey, I love that, like,

[gravelly voice] "Hey,
kids, how are ya?

"It's Krusty." [ Laughter ]

"That's right, I'm f*cking
taking pictures with kids.

Get the f*ck out of my face."

That's scary to me as an adult.

[ Normal voice ] That's
some freaky sh*t, though.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's... clowns always

scared the f*ck out
me. I'm like, yo.

- Even the voice was scary.
- His voice was like,

[gravelly voice] "Listen,
we love the children.

We're just taking pictures
and entertaining."

And look, if you
see me in the street

beating a bunch
of clowns' asses,

it's 'cause of that type
of sh*t right there.

- Okay.
- I'm f*cking y'all n*gg*s up.

You go outside, you see this,
what you doing, Godfrey?

- [ Normal voice ]
- I'm gonna be staying

on the other side of the street.

Thank you. I'm going to the
other side of the street.

I don't really f*ck
with clowns, like...

You don't... you don't
f*ck with clowns like that?

No, like I ain't gonna
say I'm scared of them,

but that's the way a real
n*gga say he scared of them.

I don't f*ck with them.

[ Laughter ]

Yeah, I don't really...

I don't really f*ck
with g*ns like that.

I don't f*ck with
haunted houses, man.

I don't f*ck with that, man.

Roller coasters and all
that bullshit, n*gga.

Stick around, and for all
you dumb-a*s criminals,

please make sure to come back
'cause we've got something

that you definitely
gonna love to see.

We'll we back in a minute.

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

- Welcome back.
- Tacarra, what you got for us?

Who says Facebook is simply
just for stalking your ex

and seeing which of your
friends are pregnant again?

It can also be used to
implicate yourself in crimes.

Lets see how in
"Anti Social Media."

So everybody knows it's
hard to pick a great selfie

for your profile photo.

So this guy outsourced
that work to the police.

Now, Facebook likes
to advertise itself

as a way for you
to stay connected.

Well, Stuart Police just used it

as a way to connect themselves
to a wanted criminal.

They went on Facebook and found

that he had open warrants
from another county.

And they found that information

because Year wood was using

his own wanted poster
as his profile pic.

- Ah!
- Wow. Wow.

That n*gga need his
a*s kicked backwards.

He thought it was gonna
get him women, you know,

like, people thought
he was a bad boy.

No, he just didn't know how
to use any of the functions.

Okay.

He was like, "f*ck it,
I'll just use that."

- He thought he was going live.
- Yes.

He thought he was going live
talking to some of his fans

and he accidentally
posted his wanted poster.

Now, here's another fugitive
who was not as happy

with his mugshot
as the last guy.

Here he is putting the police
on notice via Facebook.

Attention fugitives.

If you're on the run,
don't follow the example

of 45-year old Donald Chip Pugh,

who didn't like the mugshot
on his wanted poster,

so much so, he sent police a
selfie to replace the mugshot.

- Wow.
- And then apparently,

called a popular radio station
to discuss the whole thing.

Man, I think they just
did me wrong, man.

Another n*gga going
to the Hall of Fame.

That new selfie was
shared 4,300 times.

Florida authorities have added
a new mugshot into the mix,

writing...

In another exciting episode of
"n*gg*s Telling On They self."

[ Laughter ]

- This is ballsy.
- It's very ballsy.

- It sure is ballsy.
- This is very ballsy.

It's one with the shades.

That was very Al
B. Sure! Of him.

Thank you! I was just
thinking the same thing.

Put hi shades on,
took the selfie,

sent it in, and now he in jail.

All right, so this next guy...

So, basically, he said
he hit somebody car.

- Mm-hmm.
- And driving drunk.

And he's driving drunk.

- Wow.
- And this is my name.

- Yeah, and that's my name.
- Jacob Cox-Brown.

- So DUI and a hit-and-run, huh?
- Uh-huh.

- Wow, that's... damn.
- You just gonna bring it on.

That's how good that liquor was.

Yep. People be drunk and
just post on social media

that they drunk and
driving and hitting cars.

Hey, at least he
reached out, though.

- At least he reached out.
- He was trying.

- That's cool.
- He didn't k*ll anybody.

His heart was in
the right place.

- That's right.
- Okay, okay.

How would you feel, you
wake up in the morning,

you didn't even go outside
yet, you check your phone,

you got a message
from somebody saying,

"Hey, my bad, I hit your car"?

- I'd think that was nice.
- Okay.

- That's cool, yeah.
- I appreciate it.

And if he left his
number, I'd be like,

"You know what, my n*gga?
Thank you for calling.

Let's hook up somewhere
so we can have lunch."

And that's when I'll
beat the dog sh*t out of

his m*therf*cking a*s.

- I knew that was coming.
- [ Laughs ]

You know you done
f*cked up, right?

All right, so this guy
proves how tough it is

to find a good employee
to work at a bank.

A former Charlotte bank employee

facing federal charges,

accused of stealing tens
of thousands of dollars

from his job, and
prosecutors say

the evidence is all
over social media...

Photo after photo of the
suspect with stacks of cash.

You could tell he ain't
used to having money.

Look at his bar.

[ Laughter ]

Get that n*gga some In dog
go so he can look official.

I'm saying, he
missing something.

- Look at his sh*t.
- No pots and pans on the thing.

Hey, clearly the
n*gga ain't eating.

He got Snoop body from
"Baby Boy," n*gga.

[ Laughter ]

Snoop body from "Baby Boy."

He needed all that money.

Well, that's our show.

I'd like to thank
my special guests,

Affion Crockett,
my nephew Godfrey,

These are some
funny m*therf*ckers.

We had a great time.
Oh, I can't forget

the m*therf*cking
clip stress, Tacarra.

And to all the
criminals out there,

please get a library
card and read a book,

you dumb m*therf*ckers.

See y'all next week.

♪♪