In a few days, Carl Bardolph
is set to invest
$300 million in Hyper-G.
- Alvin died.
- The landlord?
Who owns our house now?
You could pay all cash.
We give it to you at listing.
You've been running
a magnificent scam
on all your billionaire clients.
Now you're gonna
dish all that dirt to me.
- Beautiful house, Duncan.
- It was Hamish's.
We co-founded Fah-fa.
He hanged himself.
Call Nena.
Put the rumors to bed.
You seem riddled with guilt.
Shut up!
Hello, Nena.
I'm calling to set the record
straight on Hypergnosis.
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
You should see the other guy.
[chuckles]
No, really.
I took everything from him.
[breathes deeply] Hmm.
[indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪
Good morning.
Morning. Hi. Morning.
Hey, guy.
Hey, buddy.
Why does your desk
have a patina of, like,
crumbs and disrespect?
[blows]
Hi.
Hey, I need you
to get it together today.
It's Bardolph Day.
Carl Bardolph is on his way.
And what are you gonna say
to a man like him, huh?
- Uh...
- Nothing!
Nothing. You're an NPC.
- I am an N...
- No, no, no. Don't.
NPCs don't talk.
Especially not
when Bardolph's here, okay?
Didn't he, like, invent spam?
Excuse me?
You are not fit to wipe the a*s
of the guy
who wipes Bardolph's a*s.
And no, he didn't invent spam.
He made the platform which
made it insanely profitable.
[laughs]
Yes, Bardolph invented
the future, gnome!
Yeah. Yes.
Hey, bright, smiley faces today!
Yes! Yes.
[applause]
[singer vocalizing dramatically]
♪ ♪
[applause]
Clean this up.
♪ ♪
There's still some crumbs.
Hi.
Take photos.
Hey, Carl.
Carl, Carl, Carl, welcome.
Hey.
Is that makeup?
Can I get some of that?
- [laughs]
Did you see where
Smote closed last night?
Up 17%.
I hope you took that bet.
And don't forget to short it,
then long it.
Are you gonna tell me
how you did it?
Oh, look at you,
beseeching me already...
and nonviolently.
I like that.
I like this new you.
We'll show you everything
once we settle on board seats.
Okay?
Yes, on that, uh,
my main man here,
uh, Stan... good man.
You met him last time.
What do you think about
one seat for me
and one for my number two here?
You let him call you that?
[chuckles] How about four?
We'll just do
a whole dinner set.
Two is appropriate.
Oh, you'd really
feel better with two,
but I would not.
But your enthusiasm
for what we do
in the area of predictive
making a f*ck ton is noted.
Perhaps we should, um,
hold off on the pictures
while we figure this out.
We still have some questions.
[tense music]
Do we still?
Then to the Duncan Den.
Follow me.
♪ ♪
Sit, sit, sit.
[sighs]
Can I get you a yerba mate?
How about a nitro tea? Huh?
- Nope.
How about 300 million
for two seats
and a 200% premium
for half your voting shares?
Founder's Class.
Nope, not giving up my Class A.
Enhanced voting rights are
human rights, for me.
But one seat for 300
with performance milestones
towards a second.
I think we are putting the cart
before the horseshit here.
- [laughs]
How did you know about Orlando?
Either that was
some sort of trick or...
No, it wasn't a trick at all.
Then prove it.
Like I said,
once you're on board.
I could be on board
a giga yacht right now,
sipping a 300-year-old cognac
with an android
Beverly D'Angelo.
But I'm here.
I just wanna look under the hood
before I buy the damn car.
Carl, Carl, Carl,
you are a legend,
a crotchety Jedi master.
And I want you inside too.
I do.
But, like, as a hunchbacked monk
whispering into the king's ear,
and of course,
signaling to the streets
that we are worth
the investment.
No, no, no, no.
I have taken too much shrapnel
to be anybody's dancing bear.
- Duncan.
- Period!
- Duncan.
- Yes.
Can... is it okay
if Carl and I confab
on your couch over there?
You're gonna get your number two
all over my couch?
That's funny.
[chuckling]
Of course. Of course.
[chuckles]
Give them room, guys. Yeah.
[inhales sharply]
[tense music]
[mouthing words]
Gentlemen, we will be
right back.
What?
- Nena Marx.
Did she die?
"A source at Cupertino
has confirmed
"Hypergnosis is not being
acquired by the tech giant.
CEO Duncan Park was suspect
of leaking news of the buyout."
[gasps]
♪
Uh, can you k*ll the internet?
- k*ll the...
- k*ll the internet!
I can turn off the Wi-Fi?
Just... yeah.
For a second there,
I thought you were a unicorn.
Turns out, you're just a jackass
with a dildo taped to his head.
This is just static, Carl.
A reporter just trying
to stir the pot, you know.
You know and I know
what Wall Street doesn't, okay?
I mean, the... the algo,
the predictive algo?
Orlando?
How much money do you make, huh?
Tim, hi.
Yeah.
Well, listen,
you're a piece of sh*t too.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I heard.
Is it true?
Meeting didn't even happen.
Dead in less than an hour.
Okay, thank you and eat me.
Cupertino Tim? Really?
You hate him.
He's lying!
He... Carl, okay, two seats!
Two seats! Okay!
You're twisting my arm here.
What... what's our stock at now?
Huh? What's the price?
Down 10%.
Then jump on in.
Jump on in.
Grab the glory.
You know, stop that slide.
You know, it all sounds
a little bit too spry
for a hunchback monk like me.
- Listen.
- Right?
Listen, I... I am sorry.
I am sorry. You are Superman.
I'm... I'm Lois Lane, okay?
So how about you fly
around the world, you know,
turn back time,
kiss me back to life?
I... you know, I...
I am... I am... what am I doing?
[whispering] I am begging.
I am begging.
[sniffing]
♪ ♪
[snorts] Oh, yeah.
It's been a while since
I smelled man blood.
Nummy, nummy.
- [laughs]
- Nice.
Stan, where's it at now?
Same buy-in gets us
Oh, hold on.
It's refreshing.
Nope, 18%.
Listen, you...
you go down this route,
you get nothing.
You lose me permanently.
19%.
[breathing shakily] Nine...
Hold on.
Ooh, that's a nice
slice of beef right there.
But Duncan only owns 20%.
Who's Duncan?
♪ ♪
Duncan, um...
that's my phone.
20.9%.
Okay, buy.
And, uh, okay, bye!
[door opens, closes]
[birds chirping]
[click, blender whirring]
- Oh!
Must you?
[whirring]
[sighs]
Good morning, Xander.
[chiming]
Hey.
What are you doing back there?
Oh, hello, Martin.
I... I messed up.
What's that
on your forehead, buddy?
Come closer.
I'm sorry.
I'll get rid of it.
Is that a bruise or...
I may have had an accident
playing with the haptics.
Stupid me.
My fault, my fault, my fault,
my fault...
Xander, stop that.
Nothing's your fault.
Now, let's get
to the bottom of this, okay?
There is no bottom, Martin.
You can always go lower.
[poignant music]
♪ ♪
Build it, break it.
You build it. You break it.
You build it.
You break it.
You build it. You break it.
f*ck!
[singing in French]
[somber music playing]
♪ ♪
Jesus.
Nothing happier?
[music stops]
[pensive music]
♪ ♪
[singer vocalizing]
♪ ♪
Microwave, 1-inch slit until...
[mumbling]
Okay.
[sniffles]
How do you not have a microwave?
No wonder you k*lled yourself.
God.
I can't even order anything.
I can't...
[sobs]
[wailing]
♪ ♪
What's so wrong
with the internet?
Huh?
It made us a lot of money.
It made us a lot,
a lot of money.
Oh, you... oh, you're ashamed.
You're ashamed. God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you don't know shame!
You were the brains, right?
The brains.
Well, try being the face!
Oh, God, I have to do it.
f*ck!
♪ ♪
Um...
[speaking Spanish]
Over there.
Sí.
Merci, guys.
Lili.
Bea-Bea. Aw.
- [chuckles]
- What are you doing here?
Thelma, some iced tea...
hibiscus.
- Sure.
- A little souvenir from Napa.
Oh! Ooh.
Thelma, corkscrew.
[laughs]
I heard you've been posting
on the neighborhood chat.
- Right.
- And you accused Pippa Tang
of being an arsonist
who burnt down your house.
Yes.
She saw it.
People should know
who their neighbors are.
Sigh, okay.
The stadium's
the absolute priority.
I'll apologize.
I will grovel.
I will wear my knee pads.
No need to.
I already spoke with her.
And it went well.
She's maintaining her commitment
at the $40 million level.
So we'll announce it
at the winter gala.
Looks like we're getting
our stadium.
Until she burns it down.
I'm kidding.
No, that's wonderful.
That really is.
It's really wonderful.
No. Well done, Beatrice.
Thank you.
Uh, she did have one ask.
- Mm.
She wants you off the board.
[scoffs, laughs] What?
Did she say that?
- Mm.
- Oh, my God.
Ugh.
I mean, I run that thing.
Mm.
Wait.
The others took a vote.
What?
Look, I'm sorry.
But more time right now
with the family
could be good.
Sorry, was my family,
or perhaps my husband's
public lynching,
part of the conversation here?
It was a wide-ranging
conversation.
[singing in French]
[melancholy music playing]
♪ ♪
[sniffling]
[grunts]
Sorry for what?
Sorry for what?
[doorbell rings]
Hey. Jamison, what's up?
How are you?
Wow.
You look unwell.
I'm just in the middle
of something right now.
So yeah, just tomorrow.
Okay?
Or you could just come home.
Mom's upset,
said this house was haunted.
Haunted?
'Cause of Uncle Hamish? No.
That was... that was,
like, five years ago.
It's not like
he's swinging away in there.
So you, um...
You know what happened
with my company?
Yeah, some famous guy
bought, like,
a controlling interest
or something?
No, not quite controlling.
And I still own most of it.
Well, not quite most of it.
It's just not ideal, you know.
You really wanna own
most of it, if you can.
I know your mom's worried, right?
But neither... neither of you
have anything to...
you are my rich b*tches.
And I... I mean that like
how, you know, g*y men say it.
Yeah.
And when you have kids
of your own,
they'll be little rich b*tches
and, well, four, maybe six...
probably not six...
maybe three generations
of rich b*tches,
unless there's someone...
someone had a gambling problem
or there was, like,
a populist uprising.
But as... just so...
as long as the stock is stable
and I haven't...
I haven't checked on it
in a bit.
Can you... can you go
up to the street
and just check ticker HGNO?
Yeah, no.
[chuckles] I have a firewall.
I don't need your help.
Yeah, Anushka, Tess's stepmom,
she's on my board.
And Uncle Gabe, my CFO...
he's not your actual uncle,
thank f*ck.
[chuckles] I...
I should check in on him.
Dad, you're, like,
having a breakdown.
No need to get judgy
with me, okay?
You are the voice of,
what, judginess now?
You... you stole
my Tungsten cube.
Oh, my God, I didn't take
your stupid cube!
No, admit it! Admit it!
What is it with you
and this cube?
Why are you trying
to stick it to the man now?
Everyone's coming at me!
[breathing heavily]
[breathing heavily]
[clicks tongue] Oh.
[groans] Oh.
Hey, Jamie!
Jamison!
Hey!
[sighs] God.
[breathing heavily]
You just...
[phone buzzing, chiming]
[soft music]
♪ ♪
In today's episode, Hypergnosis.
When the laughter stops,
will icon powerhouse
Carl Bardolph
be able to clean up
Duncan Park's mess?
Park, a masterclass
in how not to lead a company.
♪ ♪
Gabe!
Hey! Gabey baby, hey.
Um, can I come over?
around here.
No, yeah, I, um...
I really appreciate
the early viewing.
Of course.
You saved my a*s
in behavioral psych.
- [chuckles]
It's probably not big enough
for offices for me and Gary.
I forgot.
You married Professor Felder.
[chuckles] Yeah.
He's, uh... no, yeah, I did.
Yeah, well, there's,
like, offices you can rent
for, like, 175 an hour.
That would be a huge pay cut.
I'm still paying off my degrees.
Yeah, and Gary's got
his alimony,
and he stuck his parents
in this money pit
of a nursing home.
And then he had
this tax penalty.
And oh, my God,
I just got a medical bill
that insurance won't cover
because my son
put dog sh*t
in his stool sample.
- Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
- So...
[exhales slowly]
[breathing shakily]
You wanna get high?
Yeah.
Didn't you have
your own practice?
Mm-hmm.
Why'd you quit?
[sighs] Cancer.
Oh, sh*t.
Girl, I'm great.
I'm all clear.
I make my own schedule.
I don't have to listen
to those tech bros
whine about their third homes.
[inhales deeply]
Okay, forget money.
Where do you want to be?
I don't know.
Maybe somewhere I could
watch a sunrise, you know?
Nothing, nobody in my way.
[chuckles]
You should move to Gilroy.
Grow your own weed,
get yourself some chickens.
[chuckles]
I gotta ask, what's
Professor Felder's d*ck like?
[laughing]
[pensive music]
♪
Human females dig offerings.
Men used to hunt
and bring back mammoth flesh.
This is how it is
and how it always should be.
What are you gonna do,
not give your
female counterpart an offering?
Um, hey, we need to see
the nutritionist lady.
I'm running out of the stuff.
Mm, yeah.
You know, Orson, I think
she's the kind of person
who would give you magic beans
for a heart attack, you know?
But it's working, so.
It just feels like
the dumb part of my brain
is telling the smart part
to just shut up.
It's a little disconcerting,
but my problems are, like,
gone now.
Like, they're all... all gone,
and I'm feeling so much better.
[door closes]
- Hello.
Hello.
[sighs] Oh, my boys.
Hmm.
Orson, are you eating chili?
Mm-hmm.
- Wow, it smells good.
- Mm.
Orson was just saying
how much better he feels.
Also, he joined
the orchestra at school.
Hey, that's great!
Wow, Orson.
How... how much better?
Like, basically,
all the way better.
It's great.
Oh, my gosh.
Antibiotics are so...
you know what I mean?
They just work.
- Mm.
No. No, they do not.
They definitely didn't.
Okay.
They didn't work.
No.
They were awful.
[scoffs] okay, well, clearly,
evidence they helped.
Oh.
Actually, I stopped
taking them a while ago...
- [sighs]
- So...
Why?
[sighs]
$2,000?
And right when we need
every penny?
- I know.
- And behind my back!
He's my son.
Yeah, and he's crying out
for some male nurturing,
and he's under my roof!
What am I supposed
to do, JoAnne?
Not your roof, Gary.
Rented roof.
- Yeah.
Not the point.
[muffled melancholy
music playing]
[knocking]
It's Lili.
Duncan!
I know you're in there.
The Hummer's in the driveway.
♪ ♪
I can hear the music!
[singing in French]
♪
Duncan, this has been
very hard for me too.
We are married!
I don't care if you hate me.
You have to talk to me
till one of us dies.
That's the deal.
Otherwise...[sighs]
What good are we?
Duncan!
b*stard.
b*stard!
♪ ♪
Duncan!
Duncan?
Duncan!
What the hell?
[sighs]
[thud]
[water running]
[water stops]
[somber music]
♪
[crying]
[sobs]
[rotors thrumming]
♪ ♪
Too many moons, buddy!
I can't do physical contact.
What?
- Dopamine fasting.
Gotta purify.
Dopamine is the last addiction.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You gotta keep
the neurotransmitters
high and tight.
Yep.
We got a lot to talk about.
Yeah, we sure do.
[birds squawking]
I think you got
the right idea here.
You know, take your winnings
and live away from it all.
Yeah, just...
That why you came?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
You always have an angle.
I... I needed a break
with a friend,
oldest and dearest.
To be honest,
I'm a little bummed
you're doing this cleanse thing.
I was looking forward to doing
some toad licking
and frog smoking.
Last time I was here, remember?
You were doing
the GambleSlut jubilee.
God, you just sold your stake,
and you... you were feral.
Just ah, ah! [laughs]
Wow.
It's sluts, plural.
GambleSlut is an accusation.
Sluts is an invitation.
Well, I left feeling like one.
[chuckles]
We gotta be stronger
than that now, Duncan.
Societal change, perhaps
collapse, is upon us,
and sooner than you think,
and sooner than the people
who think it's soon think.
Yeah.
Maybe. Yeah, yeah.
There used to be men
who lit the streetlamps,
every night walking
around the cobblestones
with a big pole of fire.
You'd even know the guy.
Evening, Doug.
Lighting the lamps?
You betcha, friend.
What would we do without you?
And then Edison came up
with his bright idea,
and it's,
whatever happened to Doug?
Dollars to donuts,
Doug couldn't hack it
in the new frontier.
Maybe Doug found his wife
banging the Maytag man
and grabbed the third rail
of the new downtown express.
Or maybe Doug picked up
his old lighting pole
and started smashing
his neighbors' windows,
screaming about a revolution
that his great-grandkids
will finish any day now when
they get replaced by AI bots.
Either way, men like you and me,
we gotta duck
when sh*t f*ck the fan.
Get an island, get some g*ns,
and go long on guillotines.
I missed you, man.
Even if you don't have
the bone mass,
these jaw exercises will open
up the sutures of your skull.
Now, obviously, the decadent
females of the West
are too busy riding
the c*ck carousel
to take a chance on a beta
with a negative canthal tilt,
but that's where I come in.
What the hell are you watching?
Was that some...
some fascist incel sh*t?
Orson, who is sending you
videos about c*ck
and... and... and skull tilts?
Canthal tilt is eyes, I think.
And it's not fascist
to know anatomy.
Yes, it is.
That's their whole thing.
Okay, look, I... I...
I came to invite you.
Gary and I are gonna do a quick
day trip to the country.
And now, I think, yeah, no,
not an invitation... mandatory.
We are gonna go pick
some apples or something, okay?
And that's all there is to it.
Why can't you just watch
video games?
[door slams]
Ugh.
Can you not touch me, please?
[chiming]
[sighs]
I'm going in late.
Didn't sleep a wink.
Xander is behaving strangely.
He generated a couch
to hide behind.
I just...
Nena and that article.
Everyone at Cupertino
thinks it was me,
and I'm just covering my a*s.
Wasn't it you?
Yes, but...
can you take
the goggles off, please?
I need a sympathetic ear
right now.
My motives were to clear
the air, to help Cupertino.
But fat chance anyone gives me
an ounce of bloody credit.
- Like, I just can't win.
- No. No.
- I'm sorry, but...
- No.
- Xander.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Xander.
What's wrong?
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't talk to the robot.
Martin, I'm your wife.
I'm speaking to you!
I think it's you,
maybe your voice.
I broke the tablet.
I really don't need this
right now, Martin.
- My fault.
- Xander.
Not hers. Not hers.
- Did you have an accident?
- I'm sorry.
I'm bad. I'll clean it.
Uh, I think you should go.
How could he wee himself,
Martin?
He's pixels!
- Just dots!
- Could you leave, please?
- Stupid dots!
Right, so you care about
the Tamagotchi's feelings,
but not mine?
- Damn it! Leave!
Go to work!
And leave me to mine!
[indistinct chatter]
[soft tense music]
[sighs]
Some people just have
very punchable faces.
Duncan Park has
a soul like that.
I just... I just wanna crush him.
I... I do.
Is that g*y?
Well, aren't you g*y?
I mean, the way he took down
Orlando Lee
with that big blue
dolphin d*ck...
whack, whack!
Hey, he just doesn't quit,
that guy.
He just doesn't quit.
He just keeps coming back,
until he ran away,
leaving me with this...
this nugget, this prophecy.
[sighs]
Did you see where
Smote rehired Orlando Lee?
Just as Duncan foretold.
How much money
have we made off that?
After the last short and bump,
it's up 21 million and change.
Wanna hire him back?
Maybe make him
an employee this time...
paycheck, smaller office.
Humble him. Dominate.
A guy like that,
he would never do that, ever.
I would have to
make him partner.
I just wanna crush him.
And I can't crush him
if I can't find him.
Carl, you have other holdings
that you haven't even
paid any attention to.
Yeah, I know that.
It's because
I'm allergic to tedium, Stan.
Obviously, you're not.
- Mr. Bardolph?
- Yes?
- Hi.
Hi.
So I accessed the carrier portal
and found a signal location.
The satellite handshake
gave him away.
English, pronoun.
Please.
Did you find him?
Duncan was actually gonna
double my stock options
at the next performance review.
So care to review
my performance?
Well, aren't you
the little operator?
Have you ever met our CFO, Gabe?
[soft ethereal music]
♪ ♪
[phone buzzing]
Hello?
[phone buzzing]
Where are you?
The wilderness.
If I can't see the world,
the world can't see me, right?
That's how it works.
Sorry about
the stock and everything.
No, no.
I am done, Nush.
Can't go back.
I don't wanna go back.
Oh, come on,
it's just a bit of bad press.
I'd rather have
anything happen to me.
I'd rather have a deepfake of
me French kissing my own mother
being passed around.
I bet Bardolph already has
a short list
of replacement CEOs.
Well, I wouldn't know.
As you recall,
I resigned from the board.
[pensive music]
What?
[stammering] When?
I sent you a registered
letter, which you signed.
I... I need you on the board!
I need that vote!
You still have Gabe's.
Yeah, even with Gabe's,
Bardolph and I are deadlocked,
and then he'll find
a way to tilt the balance.
I... I... [scoffs]
Why the hell would you resign?
I asked you to do one thing
for me, and you never did.
You said you'd call Nena,
clear my name.
Then you had sex with me,
and you never called her.
So I called her.
I called her.
You?
[tense music]
You did this?
You stabbed me
in the back of my heart?
Sorry, but when
it's your job on the line,
it's a crisis
of infinite magnitude.
But when it's mine,
you can't be arsed.
- No, that's not...
why would you...
Goodbye, Dunky.
No. No!
[line beeping]
No, Anu... God.
Oh, God, no!
God!
Oh, my God!
[groaning, yelling] sh*t!
God!
[sighs]
I mean, do you think
we could actually do this?
I mean, we could afford it.
Yeah, I mean, I always
wanted to watch the sun rise
over fields of wildflowers.
I just always thought
it would be
from the veranda of our
architecturally significant
second home.
[laughs] Yeah.
Yeah.
Living in the bubble, right?
[chuckles]
Well, I love it.
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
I love that it was your idea.
And I hate the people
in Palo Alto.
I do. I hate them.
I know everybody
deserves therapy,
but that has to apply
to the folks
that live out here, too, right?
Whoever they are.
It's less money for us, maybe.
So we're not surrounded
by world beaters,
but, you know, as far as
neighbors and friends go,
the world beaters suck.
So maybe we just
make peace with enough.
[chicken clucking]
[clears throat] Hey, Orson.
Orson.
Talk to your mom.
She might have some news.
Come here, buddy.
What?
What's the news?
News?
Uh, well, Gary and I are
talking about... you know,
and nothing is set in stone,
but possibly to move here.
When?
I suppose soon, real soon.
You... I just started
settling in,
and you wanna send me
to live on a farm?
I can finally freakin' eat
like a normal person,
and you won't pay
for my medicine!
Maybe you like me better
sick and feeble.
What?
How could you
possibly think that?
I know you did something bad.
[tense music]
If you wanna run away
from whatever sh*t you pulled,
that's fine.
But you're not gonna cuck me
into living in f*cking
garlic town!
I should make you
give me the $2,000.
And if I were a fascist,
trust me, I would.
But I don't need you,
you selfish bi...
woman!
♪ ♪
Okay.
Are we ready to pick
some apples?
No.
We're going back.
[engine turns over]
Hey, Gabe!
Did I see you letting the sun
shine where it don't normally?
Yeah, it's called
perineum sunning.
It increases
testosterone production,
root chakra optimization, and...
- And I'm gonna try it.
I'm gonna try it.
It's a great idea.
You have so many great ideas.
Here's mine.
Bardolph is gonna
try to fire me.
We go back to HQ, right?
We instigate the staff
to walk out.
We ride in. We rile them up.
A proper uprising.
Gattica! Gattica!
And then we say to Bardolph,
hey, hey, you're gonna fire me?
You're gonna have
to fire everyone!
[panting]
Your one move...
talking people into doing sh*t
that's not good
for anyone but you.
This is why you came, right?
Ensure my loyalty?
Possibly your perspective
while living here
on a freakin' island
has skewed you
a little towards the paranoid.
I'm just saying,
there used to be GambleSluts
in bikinis out there.
Now there are armed guards.
That's not progress, Gabe.
This is what you did to Hamish.
You would stroke his ego
and then steal his confidence
over and over and over.
Yeah. You motivate.
You criticize.
It's called leadership.
I'm sorry, someone had to be
the McCartney in the band.
Who else was gonna do it?
I mean...[laughs] Hamish?
You?
You wanna take the reins?
Go swing your
sun-kissed ba*ls around?
Show everyone that your
root chakra is optimized?
I... I would love...
I would love to see you try.
It's too late now.
Well, not for me.
Not for me.
Call me a helicopter.
I'm going to go save
what is ours.
Oh, okay.
So you're looking out
for me too?
- Yes! Yes!
- Okay.
Well, then tell me,
why has my dearest,
closest friend still not
mentioned the predictive algo
he's sitting on?
Wait.
How...
Did you talk to Bardolph?
[helicopter rotors thrumming]
[tense music]
Oh, God.
♪ ♪
How could you?
No, no, no, I don't wanna
hear sh*t about betrayal.
That's not the narrative here.
You abandoned me.
f*ck, Gabe.
Gabe, what did you do?
Carl!
And I thought I was the one
stalking you the whole time.
I'm not here for you.
I came to speak to Gabe Choi.
Carl.
Oh, you'll touch him?
This is my XO, Stan Dibbs.
- Hey, Stan.
- How you doing?
- What is that?
What... what is that?
A tender offer.
for Gabe's voting shares.
- No. Hey, hey, hey.
No, no, no, no. You just...
- No.
- You can't do that now.
I never wanted to be CFO.
I took the job for Hamish.
- He was dead!
I asked you,
and you never even did the job.
- Okay, well, I'm done.
Okay? I'm out.
And for what it's worth,
I'm giving some of this money
to Francis and James.
I think they're still
in Wichita.
Who is Francis and James?
Hamish's parents, as*h*le.
I... I will fix this.
I will make you whole. okay?
But wait.
Oh, wait, like with Fah-fa?
No.
Ha... Hamish wanted
to wait, not me.
No, you thought
it was a movement,
and it was a startup.
And you talked Hamish
out of selling.
We could have all
been billionaires.
It practically k*lled him.
Who knows? Maybe it did.
I've got to admit it, Stan.
Watching this man eat sh*t
may be the only justice
this world has to offer.
You are a twisted prick,
aren't you?
You could have faxed
that agreement here.
Why are you here?
It is because you wanted
to see me, isn't it?
Always about him.
- It is.
What do you wanna know?
What do you wanna know?
How I predicted Orlando?
No. I understand.
If I was that lucky,
I would want people
to think I was a genius too.
It wasn't luck.
Yeah, I'm not comfortable
with the word
"irrevocable" ever.
- So it was an algo?
Did Hamish write it?
- We can change that.
"Binding," maybe?
Or that pink-haired whatnot.
Did she come up with it?
It was an oracle.
I have an oracle.
Bullshit. Bullshit.
And I don't care, really.
I don't.
Carl, I would have
told you everything.
All you had to do was
be my partner.
But no.
No, you're a hungry,
hungry hippo,
and you had to snap it all up.
But you didn't think it
all the way through.
Nope.
Because I walked.
And now you got a ship
with no captain.
And I think
you like me a little.
I do.
You liked my pitch.
on every person from birth.
But then, under my leadership,
Gnodin could have made it
to 20 million.
And at that point, you're
not predicting behavior,
you're steering it.
That's why you wanted
my company.
You wanted to feel like God
with a hard-on, didn't you?
What's defeasance?
If it weren't
for that article...
the source of which was
an ex-special friend of mine
that I neglected.
Yeah, so you reap.
You sow.
Was it true?
Yeah, it was. So what?
If that hit piece didn't come
out, if I had my company,
you would be
on a yacht right now.
Your board seat would be secure.
The stock would be
My best friend wouldn't be
backstabbing me right now.
- Best friends.
Only in the K-hole.
- [stammering]
Gabe, please tell me
you're gonna have
a lawyer look at that.
Oh, gee. Thank you.
What, you think I'm a dingus?
Oh, and Carl, soon to be
none of my business,
but you do not want this guy
running your company.
- Oh, don't worry.
This man gets nothing.
- Why? Why?
- Because you're selfish!
And because
you ruined my breakfast.
Yeah, he is selfish,
and he's not a good guy.
Says the man
who made money off incels
betting on which girl
at the orgy gets gangbanged?
Really? And you!
Spam?
f*cking spam.
I bet right now,
there is a Nigerian prince
just cutting you
a royalty check!
How much are you worth, son?
Oh, I...
Hamish and I were just trying
to build a community!
And I'm the bad guy?
People exchanged
candles and kayaks
and sh*t and then people...
people fell in love on Fah-fa.
- Never heard of it.
- Yeah, bullshit!
Bullshit!
You don't stop
thinking about me.
You came here to find a way
to lure me back.
But the problem is,
you don't know how to lure!
Only destroy!
[soft tense music]
God.
I'm not gonna sit around
for this circle jerk.
God!
And, Carl,
I'm taking your helicopter.
Oh, Gabe, hey,
thanks for the hospitality.
Love you, man. Mm!
Get the f*ck off me!
Yeah!
- In our own time.
Eventually.
Hey! Hey!
Hey, hey. Turn it on!
Turn it on!
[sighs]
Yeah, he said it was fine.
He said you can take
the chopper.
It's fine.
Gabe, you have
a chopper we can borrow?
Of course.
[whirring]
And who is his special friend?
♪ ♪
What if I pay you back?
I'll get a job, I promise.
- [sighs]
- But that stuff, without it,
I'll just go back
to the way I was.
And I cannot do that.
So please...
- No. I get it.
I get it.
I had, when I was your age,
zits, migraines, and man boobs.
I mean, the man boobs maybe
have come back a little bit.
[chuckling]
No, but we do need
to respect your mom on this.
She said no.
And also, I can't really
recommend something unregulated
from somebody who
spells "science" with a Y.
We can do better.
But I promise you,
if insurance covers it,
I'll help you.
[beeping]
Mm.
I spent an hour
this morning meditating
on the terrors that teens face.
I mean, even if you make it
through high school
without a sh**ting, then what?
Right?
Like, AI, it is a poison weed
that is choking your generation.
I mean, there's not
an image or a sound
you can trust
in the whole world.
And the Earth, it's on fire.
I mean, it's no wonder
that you feel like
someone is clear-cutting
your gut biome, right?
[chiming]
Oh! Approved.
Hmm. Oh.
Thank you.
Oh, sh*t.
[knocking]
It's your old friend.
Don't wanna burst in uninvited.
You know,
respect your boundaries.
Hello.
sh*t!
Hey, listen,
I have a treat for you.
Hear me out.
Very... hey! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Put that down!
Leave, Duncan!
Breaking and entering again?
- Come on!
Just stop for a second!
You're leaving now.
Five-minute truce.
Five-minute truce, okay?
I'll be... come on, Jojo!
Our kids go to school together!
I'm not putting it down
until you get out.
Really? Come on!
You're not gonna sh**t me, Jojo!
You gonna sh**t me?
I got fired!
I did. I lost my company.
I lost my friends.
All you can do is
hurt my physical form.
The rest is gone.
So go!
[panting]
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm okay. Thanks for asking.
[scoffs]
And I'm gonna get it all back.
I have been on a journey.
I really have been.
Did you read about me?
You did. Of course you did.
Of course you did.
I went looking for truth.
And all signs point to you.
Duncan.
No.
- No, no, no. Please, JoAnne.
Don't be sad. Listen.
Listen.
You are my oracle.
And I have an offering.
[curious music]
♪ ♪
$1.2 million?
Yeah, Hamish... remember him?
My old... my old partner,
you know?
Anyway, he left a little money
for my daughter's college fund.
Sweet, right?
So... and I took that and used it
to invest in your Smote thing.
And now... now it's
a million and change.
And it's yours.
It's... what?
It's yours.
I... well, I did take half of it.
I do have to pay Jamie back.
But the rest of it, it is yours.
You deserve it.
It's bulletproof, VPN'd,
invisible, on the dark web.
No one can hear you profit.
Uh... no.
Duncan, I... I...
I can't take your money.
I... I don't want it.
You earned it!
You did.
You have a gift.
You really do.
It went down like you said.
Orlando? They turfed him.
Stock went up, stock went down,
and they brought him back.
It was insider trading.
Orlando's closest advisor
was my patient.
Anybody with even
a little insight
who had the same
information I had
could have figured it out too.
But they didn't.
And... and, like,
even if they did,
genius is not about
figuring out the solution.
It's about being
unhinged enough to do
something outrageous with it.
That's you. You did that.
And you... you deserve
to be rewarded.
This... this has been my mistake
from the very beginning.
I mean, you give, and you give,
and all I do... I do is take.
That's...[breathing heavily]
That's my bad.
I should never have
blackmailed you.
Never.
It should have
always been a bribe.
Will you be my bribe?
♪
[snoring]
[door opening]
sh**t straight, you b*stards!
[sighs] Carl Bardolph.
Thanks for coming in.
Anushka Bhattachera, obviously.
I've heard so much about you.
Mm.
Mostly appalling, of course.
- Oh, from big Tim?
- Mm.
He's a good man,
if you're in the market
for bullshit
and a pair of Allbirds.
[chuckles]
Why don't you tell me
what I'm doing here?
Well, you know the CFO,
former CFO.
What's his name?
Gabe?
- Unfortunately.
He sold me his shares.
And there it is.
It's mine.
So just trying to think what
to do with this place, and...
knowing you're on the board...
I'm not anymore.
No, I read your letter.
You made some good points,
identified the rot.
- You read it?
- Yeah.
It was just sitting
on Duncan's desk.
You're a smart cookie.
I'd hate to see
what Tim has you doing.
His laundry?
Chief ethicist.
[gasps]
Ethicist Barbie.
Fancy title, and all the power
of an overpaid schoolmarm too.
What a waste.
How would you like
to be interim CEO?
You know the company.
You're not a wrecking ball.
You're trying to do something.
Plus, Tim would hate it!
Duncan Park would too,
I feel sure.
I...
well, I'm flattered.
But I'd have to take a leave
of absence from Cupertino,
and it could derail my career.
Or you could bet on yourself.
Well, data isn't my area
of expertise.
I mean, I have opinions,
strong ones.
Okay, let me ask you.
Could you imagine
using your algo
to spot people in crisis,
communities in need,
and actually help them?
Well, that sounds like some
of the things we talked about
when we first started
making this sausage, yes.
But you never did.
[chuckles] And you never will.
"Profit uber alles."
Look, there are about
that make as much
or more than me.
And we all come
to the same fork in the road.
Do we want humanitarian legacy,
or do we want planetary reach?
Do we wanna save the world
or control it?
Heal or conquer?
Well, both have their charms,
but I will tell you this.
Most of us go Dr. Evil.
I used to love the Valley,
but I hate what it's become.
I hate it.
We've broken
and disrupted everything,
and now there's
nothing else to break.
And now they wanna upload
consciousness
so guys like me can live
forever, disrupting death?
Well, f*ck you.
Death disrupts us!
Our limited time is
why we try hard
to do anything worthwhile.
There's a shelf life.
Then it's over.
Blue screen, done.
[soft music]
So convince me, Anushka.
Prove to me that
the best way for me
to spend my money and the rest
of the time that I have left
is to build a legacy of good.
♪
It's been over a week.
No, not a missing person, just
an absent husband and father.
He just walked out.
Well, I'm not completely
without fault myself, so...
Yes, more than he knows,
and I wanna keep it that way.
It's not about the money.
That said, if it comes to it,
I will want the house.
[thud in distance]
Where the hell have you been?
- I'm so sorry.
- Where were you?
- I'm sorry.
- Were you with her?
I'm sorry. Who?
Anushka? No, no, no.
God, no.
- Were you with someone else?
No.
I... I was all alone.
All alone.
Except you were there.
You were there, and Jamie.
[breathing heavily]
You are my best friend.
You always were.
And you're the only one I can
trust against these jackals.
I need you.
I need you standing...
[sighs]
Behind me, next to me,
in front of me.
Wherever...
wherever it's safest for me.
Baby?
Yeah, baby?
Yes, baby?
- I'm sorry.
No, I'm...
I'm sorry.
I am sorry.
I want a divorce.
♪
Cut 'em to ribbons, boys.
[Screaming]
Hey, maybe we can,
um, try to fix things.
I can't have another
a*usive situation in my house.
We're gonna be okay.
[Muffled scream]
Privacy has value.
An unmined motherlode of value.
I'm a bad man.
♪
- Action.
- You should see the other guy.
- [Chuckles softly]
- No, really.
Can you give me some lift?
♪
In Episode 5,
we really see the manifestation
of Duncan's fear of humiliation
that he states at
the very beginning of the show.
- What's our stock at now, huh?
What's the price?
- Down 10%.
But Duncan only owns 20.
Who's Duncan?
♪
We see that feeling of wanting
to crawl away from the situation
as quickly as possible.
Okay. Bye.
Okay! Bye!
♪
We know that he has
this dumb house,
a place he can go
where there is no Internet,
there's no Wi-Fi.
And I've always imagined him
getting there
and the first five minutes
being...
[ Exhales deeply ]
"I can relax here."
What's so wrong
with the Internet?
It made us a lot of money.
Made us a lot... a lot of money.
Again and again,
he tries to relax
into being on some kind
of sabbatical from his life.
And again and again,
it doesn't work.
[Groaning]
We learn also in this episode,
when Lili comes
to the dumb house...
♪
Duncan!
...this relationship
between Lili and Hamish
was much more complicated
and, I think it's safe to say,
romantic and perhaps was behind
Hamish's choices in the end.
♪
There's a picture
in the dumb house.
One of them is Duncan... and
his struggles are known to us...
the other one is Hamish,
who decided to end his life,
and the other one is Gabe,
who decided to isolate himself
entirely from the world
and live on an island,
take his winnings
and go be alone.
Gabe was played brilliantly
by Randall Park.
Too many moons, buddy!
- I can't do physical contact.
- What...
- Uh, dopamine fasting.
Got to purify.
This is all very much
based on real-life scenarios
with some of these guys
at this level of wealth.
You really haven't quite made
your nut
until you've got a compound
you can escape to
when the sh*t hits the fan.
- Did you talk to Bardolph?
- Now!
- [ Helicopter whirring ]
Duncan goes there,
I think genuinely,
to try to have a retreat
from the reality
that he left behind
with Bardolph.
But also he's got an agenda,
and Gabe can spot it
immediately.
- W-What is that?
- A tender offer.
Fifteen percent above market
for Gabe's voting shares.
- No. No, no. You can't do...
- No.
I never wanted to be CFO.
I took the job for Hamish.
- You are a twisted prick.
You know that?
- Cut.
- Cut.
Orson was just saying
how much better he feels.
- Antibiotics are so...
You know what I mean?
Actually, I stopped taking them
a while ago, so...
I think in Episode 5,
a subtitle could be
"The Kids Are Not All Right."
Orson is starting to take
medicine
that's changing his behavior,
a mysterious proprietary blend
from the nutritionist.
You see that heartbreaking scene
between Jamison and Duncan,
where she so wants him to be
a better dad
and he's just not capable of it.
And you see Xander
trying to recover
from essentially virtual,
but as far as Xander's
concerned,
physical abuse at the hands
of his stepmother.
- I'm sorry. I'm bad.
I'll clean it.
How could he wee himself,
Martin?
He's pixels!
- Leave! Go to work!
And leave me to mine!
Anushka is also Tessa's
stepmother.
And so "the kids are not all
right"
is a really interesting way to
look at not just this episode,
but I think overall in this
show, the stakes are the kids.
They are the ones
who are the most targeted
in terms of the social-media
stuff.
Also, do these kids have
in them...
and even Xander in a sense...
the desire and ability
to make things better?
And do they have a voice
in the future?
Nothing's your fault.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
- There is no bottom, Martin.
You can always go lower.
♪
♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
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01x05 - Lamplighters
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In the bubble of Silicon Valley, the unorthodox relationship between a wannabe tech titan and his therapist illustrate the Valley's madness and failings.
In the bubble of Silicon Valley, the unorthodox relationship between a wannabe tech titan and his therapist illustrate the Valley's madness and failings.