01x03 - What's Up, Croc?

[bunniefuu]

- [dramatic music playing]
- [both panting and exclaiming]

What was that?

I don't know! Like a bear-wolf thing?

- But did it eat her?
- I don't know!

She seemed really happy to get eaten.

She's an unusual girl!

Oh, no, you liked her, didn't you?

That's irrelev... [grunts]

[low growling]

- [whispers] sh**t it.
- sh**t it with your g*n.

- b*ll*ts don't hurt it.
- Are you sure?

- You probably just missed it.
- Hey, I don't miss. I'm a professional.

I still feel like
sh**ting is worth a shot.

[mercenary] That monster
k*lled six guys on the other island.

[Mike] Why'd you idiots bring it here?

We didn't bring it here.
[sighs] It must have swam after her.

- Then why did it eat her?
- [mercenary] It didn't eat her.

- That thing is her dog?
- [leaves rustling]

[gasps]

[mercenary gasps]

[dramatic music playing]

- Now we're running after him.
- [Mike] We should've taken his g*n.

That would've been smart.

Stay back!

- No, I don't want to get eaten!
- Well, I don't want to get... [screams]

Don't... move.

- Where would I move to?
- Stop talking.

[low growl]

- [Charlie] It can still see us!
- I am aware, Charlie.

[menacing music playing]

Move. Move. Move now.

Jeez, make up your mind,
or we're all gonna die.

[dramatic music playing]

[both] Ahh!

- [dramatic music continues]
- [both whimpering]

[both gasping and yelling]

- [dramatic music continues]
- [crocodile growling]

[both] Ahh!

[Charlie] Get to shore! Get to the shore!

What? The croc's there.

It's not getting in the river...

because of the waterfall!

What?

[ominous music playing]

Ahh!

[both screaming]

[gasping and coughing]

Mike! Mike!

[Mike gasps] Charlie!

Ahh!

That was awful.
I mean, that wasn't fun at all.

Look!

[growls]

[both laughing]

[Mike] Whoo!

Oh, my God!

- [crocodile growls]
- [loud splash]

[menacing music playing]

[Mike] Go, go, go, go, go!

[loud roaring]

[epic music playing]

[beast chewing]

[both] Whoa!

[both gasping]

Oh, that sucked.

That sucked.

- [Mike] Ugh.
- [indistinct growling]

[gasps]

[both exclaim]

[growling]

[Annie gasps]

Uh... Annie!

[Annie] That is a big monkey.

[mysterious music playing]

- [blade slicing]
- [groaning]

Hey, that's my spear.

I think.

Well, you can have it back.

No, that's okay.

[Irene] Which way did they go?

Beast went that way,
judging by the broken trees.

Boys that way.

How many boys?

Who is this guy?

He's the captain of a ship.

[exclaims] Is the ship here?

Yeah. It's just sunk.

Oh. That's helpful.

Two boys. Teens, I'd guess.

Mark and I cornered them,

and then that feral freak
threw a spear into my leg.

Don't call her that.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't know what her name is.

[Cap] It's Annie.

You can call her Annie.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be sure to do that
before I m*rder her.

What did you just say?

[scoffs] That I'm a professional

hired to bring the girl
back to the United States unharmed,

and all other objectives are secondary.

And also I'm thrilled to be here.

Yeah, sounded so much better that time.

- What's the ETA on the chopper?
- Dawn.

Good. Let's head out and find high ground.
How's the tracker?

- It's extremely broken.
- [Irene] Fix it.

Then we use the chopper to take down
that beast and get the hell out of here.

Now...

You're gonna tell me
everything I wanna know.

Hey, whoa. I'll just tell you,
you don't need to point a g*n at me.

Oh! Usually, people need a show.

I figure we're on an island
full of monsters,

and you're the ones
with weapons and choppers, so...

I got the show already.

I knew I liked you.

[dramatic music playing]

[Irene] So there's a fountain?

[Cap] I don't know what it is.
It's a theory.

There's the rest of the world,
and then there's this area.

This, I don't know, 50, 100 miles,
and things are just turned up here.

[Irene] And you think
it starts from here on this island?

I didn't even know this place existed
until a few hours ago,

and I've been sailing
these seas my whole life, but...

I don't feel wrong.

[Irene] Huh. Yeah, I'm more inclined
to agree with you than not.

- Why did you kidnap that girl?
- [Irene laughing]

No, no, I promise you,
I did not kidnap that girl.

You sent a man to my boat to get her back.

[sighs] I sent two. So, it's not
encouraging that you only met one.

[sighs] Sea monster?

Yeah, sea monster. But what about...

Just because I'm not pointing a g*n at you
doesn't mean I want to answer questions.

[scoffs]

About 20 miles from here,
there's another island.

Uh...

We found her there, alone and...
incredibly violent.

[chuckling] She's a teenage girl.
How violent can she be?

I don't even know
where to start with that.

[mercenary] Boss!

[sinister music playing]

And also she's a teenage girl

whose best friend is a giant,
man-eating monster.

[Mike] Because we knew
the people that hired us

wouldn't be interested
in protecting anything we found.

[Charlie] How did you know?

Did they have business cards shaped like
lion heads that said "poacher" on them?

They're not poachers!

There are men with g*ns chasing us
on this island that you kept a secret,

and it is full of monsters,
and a 100-foot-tall monkey!

You can probably understand
why I'm making certain assumptions.

- Those aren't hunting g*ns.
- Every g*n is a hunting g*n.

- What about water g*ns?
- Not the time, Mike!

My dad heard about a couple other ships
that were getting funding from this group.

They were looking for islands.

But we've been around
hundreds of times, never seen anything.

Then I meet this guy, this old vet.

He says there are
islands that don't pop up on radar.

Something about
electric magnets or whatever.

Why were they looking for islands?

I don't know! All right?
We didn't think it would be like this!

We messed up. We just...

You know how much
they lived for these trips.

We didn't want the adventure to end,
especially before you left for college.

All right? Without you, it's just...

[sighs] It wouldn't be the same.

[exhales]

I don't know what happened to my dad.

I know what happened to mine.

[laughs nervously] I feel like
we're a regional theater troupe.

[beast purrs]

[Mike] I hate regional theater.

Everyone hates regional theater.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I forgive you.

Wait! My forgiveness is contingent on me
not getting eaten by, like, a giant slug.

[chuckling]

Okay. Deal.

Or eaten by anything, or stepped on,
or just k*lled in general.

Deal. Deal. Okay.

So, what do we do now?

[grunts]

I really need a nap. And a cheeseburger.

Oh, that sounds so good!

Ugh.

After that?

Then we see if my dad's here.
We build a raft, and...

- We're in the middle of nowhere, Charlie.
- I want to get off this island.

And I want to go... to college.

Deal.

[beast grunts]

He's bored.

Wha... Are we boring?

- No, we're incredibly entertaining.
- That's what I thought!

- We should follow the big guy, though.
- And that's what I was thinking.

[sweeping music playing]

- [leaves rustling]
- [mercenary gasps]

[rustling continues]

[meows]

- Can we eat that?
- Shh!

[tense music playing]

It's from wind.

[bird screeching]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunting]

[mercenary screaming]

- [device beeps]
- [all yelp]

[device beeps]

On the bright side, I fixed the tracker.

- Turn off...
- [device beeps]

Turn off the volume, maybe?

Get to the clearing, set a perimeter,
and I don't know, sh**t birds.

But what are you tracking?

[grunts]

[growls softly]

[Annie] He won't bite.

Unless I tell him to.

Please don't tell him to, then.

What's his name?

Dog.

Dog?

It stuck.

Huh. I like it.

I don't care.

You know, I have a lot of questions,

but I don't want it
to feel like an interview.

- What's an interview?
- [Charlie sighs and laughs]

Uh, why are those men after you?

- Because a woman told them to be after me.
- Why?

I don't know!

They came to our home.
They started sh**ting at him.

I tried to stop them,
but then I woke up in a bed

with these.

Oof! That sucks.

Sucks.

Why were you on that island?

- Is this an interview?
- [laughing] It kinda feels like one.

It's a conversation
if you ask me questions too.

Oh!

I helped your dad.

[sputters] What?

He was stuck in the water. I helped him.

Is he here? On the island?

Well, I swam away.

Was that bad?

Ugh. No. No, it's not. It's just...

It would have been cool
to hear that, like, immediately.

[somber music playing]

So, uh, how long were you
alone on that island, just you and Dog?

A long time.

How old are you?

I'm 17.

Hmm.

- Maybe I'm 17 too.
- You don't know how old you are?

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, you could be 17.

Is that a good age?

Uh, you know, it's, uh...

eventful.

- [growls]
- [Charlie exclaims]

[growling]

He wants you to go to bed now.

Okay. Good night.

Oh, I liked the interview!

[helicopter whirring faintly]

Look! There!

[all cheering]

- Tell them to turn back!
- What?

- Tell them to turn back! That thing knows!
- [loud booming]

- [low booming]
- [silence]

[grave music playing]

- [mercenary] What?
- [all exclaim]

Radio the ship. Tell them what happened.

How much tranquilizer do we have?

Not enough for that beast.

- It's not enough for any beast.
- I don't need it for the beast.

Cap?

It's, uh... It's back.

[Cap] You wanna try to hit the bird?

No, not quite.

What do you see?

[Cap] It came down from its nest,
grabbed your man, but then flew inland.

- A second nest?
- Maybe.

But it was waiting for something
to grab and take far from us.

So, let's give it something to grab.

We find the girl
and her dog with the tracker.

We push them here,

we bait the hawk into taking the beast,
and then we take the girl

and we get off this damn island.

That won't work!

Well, every time you try to sh**t her dog,
one of you dies,

and our helicopter
just got eaten by an octopus,

so I think we're at the stage where we
need to take some risks and get creative.

[Cap chuckling]

Listen, that sea creature will k*ll us,

that bird, or anything else
the second we get near the water.

What's your plan there?

That part's easy. We k*ll it.

How?

Well, that part's harder.

[dejectedly] I don't know.

[distant thud echoing]

[tranquil music playing]

[thuds echoing]

[Annie] I'm hungry.

- I could eat.
- [Dog growls]

He won't let you up here.

[growling]

That's okay. I can walk.

[Annie] Hmm.

Well, then you can come.
You'd probably die without me.

[laughs]

Mike, let's go! Breakfast!

- [mutters groggily]
- Dog is leaving.

That's also his name.
Also, I don't think he likes me. Come on.

Ahh!

[groans]

[exhales]

[Charlie] Hey, you all right?

I'm fine.

[ominous music playing]

[dramatic music playing]