01x05 - You Gotta Ding-Dong Fling-Flong the Whole Narrative

[bunniefuu]

My throat! My neck!

Uhhh!

-Okay.

-Okay.

I've been folding this very nicely

and stacking it up, and it--

- Hey.

- Look.

Hey, hey, are we playing with the socks,

or are we folding them?

-'Cause this is not folding the sock.

-Folding.

No, these are the leaf people.

-The leaf people, huh?

-Mm-hmm.

Okay, um…

can you tell me about the leaf people?

Yeah, there's teeny, tiny people

who live in the tree.

- Oh, like fairies.

- They are not fairies!

Oh! Sorry about that.

Can the leaf people help us fold?

They don't have hands.

They're leaves. Duh!

- Ah! The "people" part confused me.

- They can only fly and go poopy.

- No poopy talk.

- But that's how they fly.

-You okay, babe?

-Yeah.

Mommy,

I'm helping Daddy.

-He's helping me out.

-Yeah. I see that.

Did you have any soup?

Ugh. Mm-hm.

No, I can't do it.

You can come get it.

- I'll get it!

- Hey, come here! You can't go in there!

- I want to see her.

- You can't right now, okay?

You hurt me.

No, no, no. Come here.

I don't like you.

Do me a favor?

Can you talk to Mommy?

Can you keep her company

while I go get the tray?

No.

-Huh?

-I don't want to.

Just sit there, okay?

Please be good.

You're not my favorite!

No. We love Daddy.

You look like a witch from the book.

The Good Witch?

No. The witch that goes in the oven.

Do you know--

Do you have a glove on your hand?

Thanks, babe.

Mommy,

let's watch a show.

Not now, Beetle Bug.

Did you know infinity never ends?

Yeah.

How does that work?

It just…

keeps going.

Now I know my five senses.

Tasting, feeling, the ear one.

Dad, I don't know how to do it.

It's okay. It's seeing and…

- Dad.

- What's the nose one?

-Dad. Smelling.

-Smelling, that's right.

You sit back here.

- Can you put on these?

- Yeah.

Do me a favor, okay?

I'm gonna talk

to Mommy for a minute.

Okay?

And you gotta keep folding.

-Dad, can you put on these gloves?

-Yeah, sure.

You know what?

Give me a mask too.

-Please.

-Okay.

You okay?

Hey, listen, um…

I love you.

And I love you.

But you look really,

really bad right now.

Yeah, I heard.

Witchy.

You aren't eating.

Are you drinking,

at least?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, listen, I think it's time.

It's time that we went to the hospital.

I know we thought you were on the upswing,

but now, I'm looking at you,

it seems this is getting worse.

What if you need an IV?

I can't give you an IV.

You know, you should be

where there are medical people…

and there's a whole bunch

of beeping machines

that are gonna warn us if something

is wrong because what if something…?

What if something

is really wrong?

I don't want to die

alone in a hospital.

I don't want you to die

in that bedroom.

Look, I want to be here.

Okay?

I want the sounds of home…

not machines.

Oh, God.

I have to sleep now.

- What are those?

- Galaxy ba*ls!

- Where did you get 'em?

- By Mommy's soup.

I'm shooing them into infinity!

Drop those and come over here

and wash your hands!

No! Why?

Remember, Mommy is very sick.

Let's bring her ice cream.

No, Mommy is off limits.

We can't touch her or her crackers

or anything else that she's touched.

She has sick germs.

Can I see the germs?

No, they're inside her, but don't worry

because the antibodies

are fighting them away.

Like Auntie Lisa.

Uh-huh, yeah.

- What should we have for lunch?

- Ice cream!

Hope you're hanging in there, kid.

Crazy times. I can't believe

they still got us locked up like this.

I mean,

it's unconstitutional if you ask me.

Hi, honey. It's Mom.

I just wanted to make sure

you saw the thing I sent about vitamin C.

- Anne-Marie should be doubling up on it.

- I'm leaving a message.

What's the deal?

You want me to call Bill Motley for you?

You know, I don't like asking for favors

and owing people anything.

If he needs a lawyer, I can

probably help since I was a paralegal.

You were a secretary at a law firm

for five seconds in the '70s.

Anyway, call us back.

We'll see what we can do.

Oh, check your email. I sent you

a coupon for a virtual tour at the zoo.

I guess they've been struggling.

Those poor animals, they must

really miss all the visitors. Bye!

Hey, Mabel.

Oh, sh*t! Sorry.

I thought it was gonna be Trevor.

No, he's napping. Um…

what's with the look?

Oh, my virtual dance class

was '80s theme today, so…

-Mmm!

-I worked my sh*t out to the Go-Go's.

- The Go-Go's!

- I went-went.

Oh, Jesus.

Did you see Mom's latest email

about the importance

of a plant-based diet?

God f*ck us, if they become vegans,

they're gonna outlive us both.

sh*t. Sorry.

It's all right.

So how's, um… Anne-Marie?

Oh!

She's really f*cking bad.

Oh, no.

Like bad bad, and…

I can't do anything

to-to make it better.

And you know, we…

God,

we picked Mom and Dad…

to take Trevor if, God forbid, you know?

Mom and Dad.

But we never made that formal.

You know, we never made

anything like that formal, and…

I'm the contracts guy, Lisa.

And contracts

are my department.

I-- I feel like I'm failing

all over the place.

Everyone is right now.

- Daddy!

- Hey, hey, buddy.

Come over here

and say hi to Auntie Lisa.

-Hi.

-Oh, hello, Franklin.

I'm not Franklin. I'm Trevor.

Okay. Well, you really look

like a Franklin, so…

Is Mommy better?

Um…

Not yet, buddy.

Not yet. She's still really sick.

Can I give her a hug?

Oh, you know, she would love that,

but, you know, it's not safe

to be around Mommy right now.

-Not safe to be around Mommy right now.

-I know, it's not safe.

But why don't you go grab some cereal,

huh?

-The sugary kind?

-Yeah, the sugary kind. Go.

Greg, you can't tell a kid

it's not safe to be around his mom.

What am I supposed to say?

She's ten feet away.

She's coughing her lungs out,

and all he wants to do is be with her.

He doesn't want me. He wants her.

I had to put up the baby gate just

to keep him from getting in.

Okay, that's a lot, but you know

his little mind can't process hearing

that his mom is very sick and unsafe.

Jesus, are you gonna tell him

about the Holocaust next?

Feelings are

Anne-Marie's department.

And I've been keeping us

all watered and fed.

I've been trying to read to Trevor

for 15 minutes every day,

but I'm gonna tell you,

15 minutes have not felt so long

since we ate those weed cookies

at the lake,

and you thought it would be funny

to hide from me.

Okay, I am still

very sorry about that,

but you gotta do

some damage control

or he's gonna end up

afraid of his own shadow soon.

Okay, I won't--

I won't say…

-"sick."

-No.

Even more than that.

You gotta ding-dong fling-flong

this whole narrative, all right?

Turn everything that's happening

into a game or a fairy tale

or like the plot

of a Pixar movie.

Make up a story to distract him

from what's going on,

while also

making him feel safe.

Like pour some sugar cereal

all over his whole life.

-Ding-dong fling-flong, huh?

-Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I'm a poet.

Yeah, I can…

-I can do that. Yeah, I can do that.

-All right.

-Okay.

-Okay.

-Hey, thanks, Lise.

-Mm-hmm. You got it. Any time.

And, hey. Don't worry.

If, you know, God forbid, and I know

we don't even want to think about it,

but just know,

I've got Trevor, okay?

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Mommy must still be sleeping.

We'll try again later, okay?

-We'll try again later?

-Yeah, we'll try again later.

I'm hooking.

Hook! Hook! Hook!

You're hooking?

You know what I'm doing?

-I'm doing laundry in the bathtub.

-But why?

Because the machine broke down.

And the repair guy can't come,

and even if he could come,

he couldn't come in here because…

we can't have anybody…

-anybody inside the house right now.

-Well, but why?

Because of the great curse.

What's the great curse?

Um…

a curse is like a magical spell,

but a bully kind.

Oh, like James from school?

No, no, it's not a person.

A curse is invisible.

Why is it here?

Legend says the curse came in

with the wind and delivers bad juju

to anyone who goes outside right now.

- Juju?

- Bad feelings.

Oh, like,

the stuff we touch turns bad?

I think that's right, yeah.

That's the legend.

But if everyone stays inside…

…soon the curse will disappear.

- It's already invisible.

- Right.

It'll go back to where it came from.

- Where's that?

- The Land of the Unknown.

- Is that by Santa?

- Even further.

- Under the ocean?

- Further.

In space?

Actually, the location

is an ancient mystery.

I like the inside.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

The curse got her!

I know.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

- Mommy!

- Hey, let's call her, okay?

-Let's call Mommy. Come here.

-Okay.

Mommy,

the curse took you.

- What, my love?

- The curse took you.

No, no, no, no.

Baby, it's okay. It's just…

You just had a scary dream.

I'm right here.

No, Mommy, it's real.

Daddy told me all about it.

Oh, silly Daddy.

You don't believe in the curse.

Um…

That's right. I forgot.

There's no curse.

But still bullies?

Yeah.

All they want is love.

- Mommy, would you sleep with me?

- Of course.

How about I sing you the "Small Song"?

Yeah?

Mm-hm.

I made a small♪

Small song♪

I made a small ♪

Small song ♪

I sang it all night long ♪

All through♪

The wind and rain ♪

Until ♪

The morning came ♪

Mm.

A curse, huh?

-Yeah.

-What was that about?

Ugh!

That's just me, you know.

Trying to make the world

easier for him to understand.

Maybe don't do that again.

Well, I may have

taken some advice from Lisa.

Oh, Greg.

Your sister is an adult woman

who collects shot glasses.

I'm losing it.

I'm losing it, and I…

I need you.

You have to get better.

I'm trying.

Until then…

stick with your own impulses.

I've always found them

to be pretty spot-on.

Um…

Also, I…

agreed to have Lisa

be Trevor's guardian if…

-Aw, sh*t.

-God forbid, so…

When you get better,

you're gonna have to call her and…

and figure that one out.

That feels

like your department.

Oh, great.

Something to look forward to.

Take me back

to Trevor's bed?

Small song♪

I made a small, small… ♪

I sing it all night long… ♪

All through the wind and rain ♪

Until the morning came♪

This song is mine♪

Small song♪

This song is mine♪

Small song♪

I sing it all night long♪

And when the morning came♪

I had to start♪

All over again♪

My song is so, so small♪

My song is so, so small♪

If I was right, I would be wrong ♪

Don't be afraid

It's just a small song ♪