02x01 - Jon

[bunniefuu]

This program me contains strong
language, suicide references,

scenes some viewers may find distressing
and scenes of violence from the start

It's Christina. My daughter.
She k*lled herself. Why?

You're her girlfriend. Wife. I
don't have those answers. Who does?

I've got nothing to lose,
so I'll keep digging.

How much do you know?

Your lucky horseshoe. Like
the one you gave Christina.

I was with Susannah most of the
morning. You should go see her.

Why would anybody
want to k*ll her?

You sure you wanna
go there? Maybe.

You're in deep
enough sh*t as it is.

So, you're an expert on me,
now you're f*cking my ex-wife?

Christina's been m*rder*d.

Can't prove it.

Uh...

Christina? Christina?

I need to talk to you...

...but I don't know what to say.

All I know is you've
been dead for three weeks

and five days...

...and I don't
understand anything.

PHONE RINGS

ANSWERPHONE BEEPS

Hi, yeah. Um, I'm calling
about Daniel Frater again.

I know this is a difficult time,

but please do call me back.

Danny seems to have convinced
himself your daughter was m*rder*d.

SHE SOBS

ECHOING: Mum! DOOR BELL RINGS

KNOCK AT DOOR

DOOR BELL RINGS

Thank you. Oh, no, wait.

Oh, am I supposed
to sign something?

No. Oh, yeah, I see
you've got loads.

No, they're my...
they're my doughnuts.

Sorry?

I'm Jon. Jonathan Fallow, I
made an appointment online.

Oh, it shouldn't have let you.
I thought I'd turned that off.

I had an email confirmation.
It shouldn't have done that.

I'm not seeing clients
at the moment, I'm sorry.

Oh, sh*t.

But I can recommend someone else.
What is it you need help with?

Smoking.

I have to quit today.

You know when you
have the feeling,

and if you don't act
on it, then you just...

Please?

I heard you're excellent.

I'll pay you in doughnuts.

No... No, thank you.

Oh, OK, come in.

Um, you'll have to
excuse me for a moment.

You just, uh, go on through.

All the way down to
the end and turn left.

Thank you. I won't be long.

MUFFLED COUGHING

Oh, no sorry. We're not in here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I couldn't help noticing
the photographs.

No-one prints them
anymore, do they?

Just have them on their
phones, or in the cloud.

God knows what
happens to them all.

It's nice. It keeps
all the memories alive.

Shall we get started?

Yeah.

I help people with all
kinds of life crises.

For compulsions and addictions,

hypnosis can be a really
effective technique.

Do you mind if I eat?

I always have to eat
if I can't smoke.

What is it called? Oral
fixation or something.

We're all babies.

That's one theory.

My mother used to tell me that

the holes in doughnuts
were poisonous.

So, I just used to
nibble around the middle

and leave them on the edge.

She always had sugar
around her lips.

Years later, I asked
her why she'd lied

and she said... she said
she was always on a diet,

so she couldn't
eat, but this way...

She could.

We all lie to
ourselves sometimes.

But you do know it's safe
now? You can eat them.

Habits are hard to break. Mm.

So, why do you want
to stop smoking?

It kills you.

Well, that could be
one reason not to stop.

I smoke way, way too much.

How much is too much?

Er, three packs a day.

That is a lot.

That's what my wife says.

Did your wife send
you here today?

I used to be in
control of it, you see.

Now I'm not, so...

But do you want to quit?

I want to want to,
if that makes sense.

Can you, can you...?

You can talk freely here.

And you'll analyse me?

Oh, God, no. I stopped
doing that years ago.

Now I just talk to
people and listen.

When you get good at something,
it becomes instinctive.

Has anything happened recently
that's made you want to smoke more?

My stepson Ben, he just died.

He was ten.

His heart just stopped, a genetic
defect or something, apparently.

It was only three weeks ago.

I'm sorry, that must
have been a shock.

Yeah.

I say stepson,

but actually I thought
of him as my own, really.

I have this one very distinct
memory when he was little

and, erm, you know, when
they have the parties

and they blow the candles out
and they make a secret wish,

but he said the wish
out loud and he...

...he wished that I
was his real daddy.

I suppose ever since that moment
I felt like his real dad, so...

...I felt completely helpless
because I wanted to be...

...I wanted to be there,

holding his hand and
looking out for him

and protecting him when he needed
me most, do you know what I mean?

ECHOING: And now he's gone,
I feel completely lost.

What are you thinking?

That I can see why you
needed to come here today.

Mm. I never really
thought of death before.

Death was for other
people, not for me.

And now I feel like something
is just wedged in here,

just stuck.

What do you think
it is that's stuck?

Can you describe
the feeling to me?

I'm so sorry, I can't do this.

Well, no, it's perfectly
normal to have feelings,

thoughts that you
don't want to share.

And you don't even have
to share them with me.

It's always your choice,

just like you chose
to come here today.

I look at my wife now...

...and all I see
is a lump of flesh.

Her snot and tears.

I can't.

Yes, you can. You're doing
fine. Please, Jon. Sit down.

When we experience a great loss,

we can feel completely numb,

just like when our
nervous system shuts down

because the physical
pain gets too much.

When you think about
your wife and Ben...

...what do you feel?

Nothing.

Feel like you wanna smoke?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, you want
to protect yourself

from strong emotions by
focusing on something concrete.

Like a cigarette.

So, you take one.

You feel it.

Smell it.

Light it.

You fill your lungs with smoke.

The pressure on
your chest lifts.

You're calm.

For a moment in time,
everything is forgotten.

Very nice.

But I came here to quit.

And you will.

It's just one last time.

Goodbye.

Good.

So, you ready?

Yeah.

Head on up.

So, how exactly does it work?

Hypnosis is a trance-like state

of heightened awareness where we
can access your subconscious mind.

But we'll only
talk about smoking?

You'll always be aware
of what I'm saying

and you won't say anything
you don't want to.

You lie back. Get comfortable.

Now, that's good.

So, tell me a place
where you feel safe.

Safe. Um, Yasmin.

My boat. Oh,
that's great. Good.

So, close your eyes.

Mm.

We'll start by focusing
on your breath.

As you breathe in.

And out.

Each breath out making you feel
more relaxed and more at ease.

Imagine yourself on your boat.

Just you and Yasmin
on the water.

You're sailing out to
sea. It's vast and wide.

And while I talk...

...I want you to focus on
that moment when you feel

the craving to smoke...

...moving through the waves,

deeper and deeper into yourself.

Where are you when you
feel that need to smoke?

I can't talk to you.

You can talk to me. We're
safe here on your boat.

You can tell me anything.

They say I can't.

Who says that?

Keep breathing in and
out. You're doing so well.

Now, I'm gonna lift your hand.

HE MOANS SOFTLY

There we go. Just
let your body relax.

HE MOANS

Tell me.

My mother smokes
when she's upset.

Her hands smell of smoke.

I love that smell.

What feeling does it give you?

My hands don't smell
of mother anymore.

WAVES LAP AND GULLS CRY

I miss that smell.

HE WHIMPERS It's OK, it's OK.

My hands...

...they smell of death.

Because of Ben? Ben?

Your stepson. Is that why?

No.

So, why do your hands
smell of death, Jon?

Because of the girls.

What girls?

The girls I k*ll.

HEAVY BREATHING

What's happening? I can't
hear the waves anymore.

Yes, you can. Just
listen. They're there.

You... li... listen to them

and tell me about
the girls you k*ll.

Who are they?

I can't stop thinking about
it. That's why I smoke so much.

You tell me about
the girls, Jon.

She's waiting for me. I
can hear her breathing.

Not long till her last
breath. It's dark down there.

It's dark and wet.

I'm the only one
that knows the way.

Where is this place? Is it
somewhere you dream about

where you can live
out your fantasies?

Near my safe space

in the middle of the
sea. Infinite peace.

So, it's a nice place. Ha-ha.

It is for me, not for them.

The girls. Tell me about them.

I used to use a g*n and a knife.

Not anymore, no, no.

What do you use? Chloroform.

I make my own. I
boil it, I distil it.

It's cleaner.

So, you want them unconscious so
you can do what you like with them.

I want to take them
to my safe space.

So, it's real. What
do you do there?

I do my job. I'm good at it.

At k*lling girls?

At k*lling. At least
I WAS good at it.

What happened, Jon?

Why did you come here to see me?

You have to stop me. Stop me.

Stop you from what? Tonight.

What... what happens tonight?
Who will you k*ll tonight?

White flesh. Black bird.

What does that mean?
She doesn't realise.

Who? The girl tonight?
She thinks I'm a client.

Oh, what kind of
client? Her last.

Ah. Tell me where she is.

No-one will notice she's gone.
You see, I'm very thorough.

Mm. What's her name?

You see, I'm good at my job.
That's why they hire me.

Who hires you? Give me a name.

No names. Just words. My orders.

Ah. They order you to k*ll
people? They tell you what to do?

They pay me.

They don't know how I do it or
where I go. I'm in charge of that.

Well, you were in
charge, but not anymore.

What happened, Jon? Nothing.

Yeah, yeah. Nothing
happened. Something changed.

Nothing happened.
Nothing changed.

You lost control. No!

JON MOANS

You came to me for
help, to stop you.

You tell me where she is
and I can save you both.

JON GROANS You tell
me, Jon. Where is she?

Who is she? If you tell me,
you won't be in trouble, Jon.

You won't be in
trouble if you tell me.

JON CRIES OUT

Richard. OVER PHONE:
I can't talk now.

You need to send an
officer to my home now.

What's going on?

Just do it, Richard.

Well, I can't just do
it. I can't explain.

Who are you calling?

OVER PHONE: Who's there with
you? A colleague. It's a client.

OVER PHONE: Are you
in danger? Yeah, yeah.

I couldn't get him out of
hypnosis, but he's awake now.

OVER PHONE: Get
out of there. Now.

You had some kind of seizure.

While you were on the phone?
Yeah. I'm just getting some help.

Yeah, but I'm fine now.
Put the phone down.

OVER PHONE: Susannah?
Put the phone down.

OK. I have to go.

What did your colleague say?

Well, nothing yet. I
literally just called him.

I don't remember anything.

Maybe we should call
an ambulance. No.

OK, but at least sit
down. You hit your head.

I'll get you some
water. No, stay there.

I really don't think you
should be smoking right now.

I don't remember anything.

How can I give up smoking if
I don't remember anything?

Well, you won't remember.

We're working on deeper
patterns, breaking the habit.

Well, it's not working.

I came here to quit,
and look, here I am.

Well, we didn't
finish the session.

We've barely begun.

What did we talk about?

Oh, I did most of the talking.
You weren't making sense.

Yeah, but what
exactly did I say?

That the cigarette smell
reminded you of your mother

and you got triggered.
We can work on that.

No, it's too late.

The hypnosis is already
working. The cravings will fade.

Trust me. When you feel
it, you'll feel me,

taking it away. You will stop.

I should go. No,
there's no need.

You should recover first.

SIRENS WAIL

ENGINE STARTS

TYRES SCREECH

Ah.

f*ck.

COMMS OVER POLICE RADIO