02x06 - Curlew's Call

[bunniefuu]

Has your partner
ever offered an explanation

as to what she was doing at Barra Creek

the night Detective Bushman was shot?

Uh, no, she hasn't.

They're reopening Bushy's case.

They found the f*cking b*llet
in
my
Land Cruiser, mate!

It was you that called it in.

You have consistently
and repeatedly lied to me.

They found something on
the security cameras at the HQ car park.

It shows Bushy leaving in his ute

and then, soon after,
Eddie drives out after him in her cruiser.

You think Eddie k*lled Bushy?

I think that we need to
let the investigation run its course.

Dulcie would never
have done that to Eddie.

I don't see Dulcie at all
in this decision.

Everybody should be asking
why Bushy was in Barra Creek.

It doesn't matter
why you're in Barra Creek.

Leo and I just found Astrid and Ebba.

f*ck! They're still alive.

[Abby] Leo figured out Don's message.

He was saying he knew who k*lled
those "skinny little girls".

His words, not mine.

[Eddie] Don knew which psycho
was k*lling those salties.

Astrid and Ebba were actually showing Don
this business card.

[Abby] They got it from a guy
who said he was a liaison

for this business called LISA.

Because they were going up
in helicopters and sh**ting crocodiles.

They're hunting them.

[Miki] Trophy hunting.

It's a burner, ma'am.

Before today, it was only used
to call one other number.

Call the number, Big Eyes.

[phone ringing]

Who the f*ck is this?

-[whirring]
-[thunder rumbles]

[quietly] What are you doing here?

You're not supposed to be doing this.
You're a cop!

[whispers] Yes, I know I am a cop.
That is
why
I am here.

Trophy hunting protected species
is
profoundly
ill*gal, Roisin!

Yeah, but this is my first shift.

-I didn't know it was croc hunting.
-[Jason] Let's go!

[Roisin] f*cking cash-in-hand jobs.
It's always something disgusting.
Or ill*gal. Or both!

-[man 1] OK, let's get in there, boys!
-[Jason] Alright, let's go!

-[whispers] I need to get out of here.
-[Roisin] Yeah, so do I!

I teach grade three back in Dublin.

Not about to get locked up
in one of your poxy detention centres.

Where is your car?

-I don't have a f*cking car! Jesus!
-[Jason] Let's go!

OK. If you can just come with me?
This way.

Let's get airborne! Come on!

[Roisin] My phone's in the chopper.
Where's yours?

[Dulcie] My phone's dead!

OK, I f*cked this guy,

he lives on an avocado farm
not far from here.

We can go there, charge your phone,
and call someone to pick us up.

[Dulcie] How far away is it?

-[Roisin] Just 25 Ks.
-[Dulcie] What?!

[Roisin] We'll be there by sunrise.
Come on, ducky.

[theme music plays]

[Abby] You two are really lucky
we were out on the road.

Leo and I just dropped the backpackers off
at the airport.

They made us keep it a secret that
they were alive until after they left,

so they didn't have to
deal with Ebba's ex.

And look, technically, we should have
reported it to the authorities,

but when your actions hurt real people,

then everybody knows you just
have to do the right thing, Roisin.

OK, Abby! I know that I stuffed up.

Oh, you reckon, c**t?!

Yes, I do reckon.

And I am trying to
get Eddie out of this mess.

That
you
dumped them in?

-Yes, that I dumped them in.
-Correct.

Leo would
never
do that to me.

-Please leave me out of this.
-Leo would never snitch.

-Also, as if Eddie k*lled Bushy! As if!
-OK, alright, OK!

I know that Eddie didn't k*ll Bushy.

I think that Bushy was m*rder*d
by someone involved with Jason Wade

because he uncovered the croc safaris.

But there is footage of Eddie
following Bushy out of City HQ,

and a b*llet from Bushy's m*rder weapon
was found in Eddie's torched Land Cruiser.

So until we have a reasonable explanation
for that five-star buffet of evidence,

-there is no way those detectives...
-[phone ringing]

...will drop Eddie as a suspect.

Cath, I love you so much!

I love you too, so much.

But Dulce, those detectives are in
our campervan with two police officers.

They said they had a breakthrough,

and now they're bagging up
all of Eddie's things,

our piss bucket, their sports bras,
Bushy's "f*ck off, I'm fishing hat",

even her Coke cans!

Dulcie, they're collecting Eddie's DNA.

I heard them say they're taking them to
the crime scene in the DRR.

OK, Cath, everybody,
we need to stall those detectives,

in whatever way you can.

-Not you, Roisin.
-Oh, thank you, baby Jesus.

Abby, do you have any idea
where Eddie might be?

Um...

[Cherry sings]
♪ In the rivers and the sea
there are crocs unseen ♪

♪ And now there's biggest mob
and they're moving upstream ♪

♪ Crocodiles are deadly...

-Stay still!
-Oh, sorry.

-[Miki] Oi! Did you know...
-Ah! What the hell, Mik?! Ow!

...about Jason Wade's
croc-hunting safaris?

-You're done. That's 80 bucks.
-Were you there last night?

-Ow! Ow!
-Was there a hunt on? There was, eh!

No, no, words instead of fists, Mik.
That's your rule.

[Miki] You coconut!

You said that you were going to
work at Land of Crocs

to learn the ropes
for our cultural centre.

But as soon as you put on
that poxy croc lanyard,

you started power-tripping,

ignoring your cultural responsibilities,
waxing your thighs!

And now I find out that you're in that
daywalker's chopper hunting our totem?

No, I don't go on the hunts.

I'm on the ground, Mik.

Spud uses the drone
to find the shot crocs,

and Jason gets me to collect them
in an esky

because he knows that
it's not ill*gal for me to have them.

What? Why isn't it ill*gal?

-[both] Cultural reasons.
-None of your business.

[Al] Look, I'm really sorry, Mik.

I tried to quit, but Jason said
I'm in too deep now.

-[phone rings]
-[Al] I'm scared of him, sis.

-True God, the dude doesn't blink!
-f*ck.

-Who that? Those detectives?
-Collins.

I'm not answering 'cause she's dead to me.

OK, Al, so you're not one of
the big boys playing k*ll-k*ll-bang-bangs,

but who is involved?

Whose card is this?

We know it belongs to Wade's liaison.

We think this bloke
bumped off Don Darrell.

But he's dangerous, Al. He's a...
He's a dangerous liaison.

Dude, as if Jason
would tell me who they are.

-I'm just blak cladding.
-Hang on. Did you just say "they"?

-Mm-hm.
-Wait. Is it Leo?

f*ck! My mentos!

Oh, it's always the ones you least expect!

f*cking rolled again!

[Al] No, "they" because there's been
more than one liaison.

They got rid of the first one
six months ago.

sh*t, Reddy, that's why
there's two numbers on the card.

Yeah. OK.

OK, so we just need to connect Jason

-with these hunts and the hit on Don.
-[phone dings]

He's using a burner to call
these liaisons. We've got to find it.

Buffnuts, can you get us into his office?

It's Dulcie.
"I know Eddie didn't k*ll Bushy.

This is all my fault. I spent the night
trying to make this right."

She keeps going, apologising,
listing her mistakes.

Hey, shame! Did she have an affair?

-Give me that.
-No! Excuse me.

You're on the hook for m*rder
and she wants to help get you off.

-No, that's not our vibe at all. Get off?
-No, I meant legally, not sexually!

Oh, my God! [stammers]

I'm getting all flustered because
you're making me defend a cop

and your hair's all out.

-Can I go?
-[both] No!

[Miki] Reddy, I'm sick of
your "dead-to-me sh*t".

Look, I know that what Dulcie did
was a dog act, OK?

But she's trying to take responsibility
and fix it.

Yeah, she f*cked up,
but you f*cked up too.

And f*cked up places
create f*cked up people

that do f*cked up things.

Nothing here is ever black and white.

-Zebras are.
-Ugh. f*ck me dead.

And actually, you know what, actually,

if you think I'm a f*ck-up as well,
then I'll just go.

So you're binning yourself now?

-No, you're binning me.
-I don't bin people.

That's proper carceral thinking.

You need to decolonise your mind, sis.

Do the work,
because I'm trying to keep you.

Hey, I could break into Jason's office.

-What?
-Yeah. I could.

I could sneak in.
I can wear the Chomp costume.

Try and find his LISA burner.

[Miki]
You,
sneak in?

Buddy, you can't even do goona quietly.
No, no, no. Me and Reddy will go.

You take the kids fishing.

[Al] Oh, Mik, it's about to storm!

Al...

where'd you get this fishing shirt from?

What? Oh, that's my LISA uniform.

Hey, Clay, I got another charger for that
phone you mob found in the DRR.

Excuse me!
That you found in the where now?

[Al] They found a flip phone
out in a Land Cruiser near Roger's.

[Miki] Clay, you said
you played cool tree.

[Clay] Sorry, Mum. We went to the DRR.

-Oh, my-- Hey! Where you going?
-[Eddie] Cuba.

-[Miki] What?
-I'm off to drink mojitos in the sun.

Reddy, what about Jason's burner?

[Rachel] Sorry, I'm confused.

Diane said that you had
a rapid DNA testing machine out here.

[Abby] Yeah, Diane has a drinking problem.

She hides vodka in an Ambi Pur.
It's really sad.

So it'll be three days, unfortunately,
to DNA test your evidence there.

[Leo] Yeah, everything
takes longer up here,

because of the road trains.

[Erin] OK, well, in order to
make an arrest,

we need to establish a forensic link

between our m*rder suspect,
whose DNA is all over this evidence,

and the biological matter
found on the b*llet from the Cruiser.

-[Abby, faintly] What?
-So this testing needs to be prioritised.

We're very behind as it is,

thanks to a chatty l*sbian
who gave us terrible directions.

-[Rachel] Erin?
-[Erin] What?

She sent us to a fishing comp, Rachel.

Her lesbianism is irrelevant.

[Erin]
She's
the one who called herself
a city licker.

OK, you're overheating. Just go to the car
and turn the air con on.

Yeah. I just want to go to the wave pool.

I apologise about Detective Wilson.
She's perimenopausal.

They denied her HRT.

It's medical misogyny
and it's ruining my life.

If you could get us an ETA
on the results as soon as you can.

-Thank you.
-Lauren and Oliver.

And no worries.

-Bye.
-You have the car keys.

[Rachel] Yes! Alright! I'm coming.

Abby, it's Abby. Come on, let's go.
We've got Eddie's stuff.

We've already stalled the detectives.
And this paper onesie

-is not going to fool them for long.
-Hold on! Hey, no!

I look like a toddler going to the snow.

No! I'm trying to find the b*llet.

That hormonal detective
said there's biomatter on it.

She thinks it's probably Eddie's DNA.

-But she's wrong! OK?
-Stop it.

And maybe whoever's DNA
is
on it
is Bushy's m*rder*r.

-But I can't find it!
-Shh! Stop.

-She's going to go to jail!
-Stop it. They're going to hear us.

[Oliver] Hello, Champ. Question.

Can you do a rapid DNA test on this?

[Leo deepens voice] 100% I can, champ.

[Oliver] Good man.

[Abby] What? What is it?

[Abby gasps softly]

[Dulcie] Eddie...

I called Miki.

She said you were off to
drink mojitos in the sun.

But the detectives aren't with me.

And I... I'm not going to
tell them that you're here.

[sighs]

I'm so sorry, Eddie!

I...

I've been completely off on one
since we arrived up here.

Or, you know, more... more...

globally, since birth.

But that doesn't excuse
the harm that I have caused you.

And I am going to work myself
into a nub to clear your name.

And I would work that nub
into an even smaller nub to fix us too.

But I also know that
that is not happening.

And I know that I am dead to you, so...

I just...

I just wish that I had been
more careful with my best friend

because I would do anything
to get them back.

[Eddie] Them/ her.

I'd do anything to get them/ her back.

Yes, them/ her.
Sorry. Thank you. Great.

OK, thank you. I'll leave you alone.
Thanks, Eddie.

You'd do anything?

Uh, yep. Yes. Yes?

Lie on the ground.

I beg your pardon?

-Right, yes. Yep. Yes.
-Lie on the ground.

Roll over.

Uh-huh.

Expose your belly. Full submission.

Uh... Uh, like this?

-Yes.
-OK.

Do dog hands.

Oh.

Whimper.

[imitates whimpering dog]

Alright, that's enough.
You're making a gronk of yourself.

Just... get up here.

Really? I-- Really?

Yeah, I just said that, didn't I?

-Just...
-[Eddie sighs]

-[grunts]
-Oh, f*ck me.

[Dulcie] Sorry. Oh.

Oh, sorry.

Horse mounting a horse.

I didn't mean to put my face so close t--

Ow. That's a cramp.

I got it. I got it.

Eddie, I found that coaster
in Bushy's box,

the one that you told
Wilson and Greene about.

Eddie, Bushy wasn't
out at Barra Creek that night

because he was having an affair.

I think that...

that Jason ordered a hit on Don
because he knew too much.

And I think he did the same to Bushy.

I think Bushy was k*lled because
he was investigating Jason's croc hunts.

Bushy wasn't investigating the hunts.

This is his shirt,
the one I told you about.

Croc on the front, chopper on the back.

He didn't uncover those hunts.

He was in on them.

[distant thunder rumbles]

[Roger] Smell that storm brewing, Pat?

I brought you today's
electro smog readings.

They're off the charts. Look.

-Tongs don't lie.
-Yeah, alright.

I'll make sure Senior Sergeant Ferguson
gets these, Rog.

Oh, of course! It's your last day.

How was your retirement party?

Oh, yeah. Was a rip-snorter.

Oh, alright. Good luck, Pat. All the best!

[phone rings]

DJ. How you holding up, love? Big day.

Right.

Yep, OK. Be right there.

[DJ screams] Troy! Troy!

The duckboat can't go in the water,

so we're going to have to take
the boxes of dad down to the jetty

in the beach trolley.

There they are, Pat.
Those kids are down there.

I'm not dealing with this today.
We need that bit for the funeral.

-Tell them to piss off.
-Yep, righto.

DJ, what's the point of a f*ck' duckboat
that can't go in the water?

[DJ] 'Cause it looks sick!

Useless as a d*ck on a hammer.

You are going to have to
clear out of here for Don's funeral, OK?

-Come on.
-Hey!

-[Pat] On your way.
-I think I've got something.

-[Cherry] What is it, Mav?
-[Al] What is it?

Cherry, get the net.
Keep the rod up high, that's it.

[Cherry] I'll get the net.
OK, I've got it, I've got it!

-[Clay] Lift it up!
-[Cherry] Oh, look at it, look at it!

Yep. OK. Alright, well, just...
just get that sorted

and then get out of here, alright?

[Al] Hang on, what's that on his fin?

Holy crap. That's the golden tag!

-[Mav] What?
-[Al] Oh, my God, Mav!

You just caught the Golden Barra!

-[kids cheer]
-Oh, my God, that's like 200K!

OK, OK. Calm down, calm down.

No, no. The Golden Barra
is an over-18s competition.

No worries. I'll say I caught it.

[all cheer]

Yeah, but you didn't catch it,
did you, Al?

That's OK. I still caught it, didn't I?

Yeah, yeah, but you didn't play
by the competition rules, Mav.

So you don't get rewarded for that,
alright? You didn't win.

So just put the fish
back in the water, please, Maverick.

No! If I was a white kid, you wouldn't
make me put it back, would you?

A proper entrant deserves to win.

Put it back now. That's an order!

[thunder rumbles]

Right. Pack up your stuff
and get out of here.

Come on. Let's go.

White dog.

-Hey, you watch yourself, mate.
-Hey! Hey!

You're 10 now, OK?
You're not a kid anymore.

And after today, I won't be here.

And that new guy in town,
he won't be as forgiving as I am.

So next time you steal a car...

Yeah, I know about that.

...or you decide to get smart
with a police officer,

you go to proper prison,
just like your dad.

-[Al] Hey!
-You hear?

[thunder rumbles]

Should have known
Bushy wasn't having an affair.


blokes named after f*ck' rodents.

So Bushy was Jason's first liaison?

[Eddie] Yeah. He was probably
some kind of fixer.

That's why he had that burner phone,

then there's his shmicko boat,

the jaw water,

all paid for
with that turbo c**t's dirty coin.

Bush set Frank up.

He lied to me,
made a joke about friendship,

f*cked my life up
all so he could get ahead.

Well, f*ck that greedy c**t!

And f*ck this revolutionary
piece of wearable f*cking art!

-No! You love that shirt.
-No, I don't.

You've got to separate the shirt
from the man.

No, leave it!
There's roo poo all in the dirt!

-I'll pop it through a hot wash.
-No! I don't want it.

I jus-- Uh...

I didn't k*ll him.

Someone's stitching me up. Who is it?

[Dulcie] Hey, we
will
figure it out, OK?

But in order to do that, Eddie,
you need to be honest with me.

Why were you in Barra Creek that night?

[Eddie sighs]

-Look, any information-- Oh.
-The way it went down--

-Yes. I know. Yeah, go on.
-I'm trying to have a moment here.

Yep. I'll shut up. Go on. Go on, Eddie.

That night at HQ,

Bushy...

told me that he'd put a request in
for a new partner.

I had a go at him,
and he cracked the shits and took off.

So I...

really
got on the piss.

I... I power-spewed.

Tasted like bananas.

You know how can taste the food
in your nose.

No, not at all.

Anyway, then
Sprog started licking the spew,

because Bushy left him behind,
you see? And then--

OK, sorry, so Sprog is Bushy's child?

Yeah, his dog.

He was...

[chuckles] ...Darwin special.

-He was the best dog in the world.
-OK.

Farts that...

tasted like beef lasagna.

-Oh, that's...
-You know?

That's unnecessarily descriptive.

I don't know if you know this, Collins,

but I have this real... problem

relegating my emotions.

Oh.

Anyway, that night,
the rage, the grog really got to me.

I was angry at Bush for binning me

so...

I put Sprog in the Cruiser.

Yeah.

And I...

headed out to Barra Creek, and I...

...and I fed him to Triple Pet.

Y-- Right.

R... Right. So...

So, sorry, that is your big secret,

that you fed Bushy's dog
to your family crocodile.

Yeah.

Probably rename him Quadruple Pet now.

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, God!

I wish I'd just go back to that night,
you know?

Just f*cking stop myself,

like that baby Hitler hypothetical.

Eddie, why didn't you just tell me
all of this?

Because Cath loves dogs!

She can't know about this.

She sends me 25 photos of dogs a day.

Dogs that a-a-are complete strangers
to both of us.

[Eddie exhales] So, anyway,

-that's what happened that night.
-Oh, my God!

That's the whole picture, the full...

Mona Lisa smile.

I k*lled a dog, but I didn't k*ll a man.

OK, OK. So Bushy left City HQ.

You followed him in your Land Cruiser
with Sprog.

Pat pulled you over,
left the car on the side of the road.

Was that before or after Sprog was...

uh, dispatched?

[Eddie] No, that's not what happened.

-I didn't follow Bushy.
-What?

[Eddie] I didn't follow him.

No, the detectives saw footage
from HQ car park.

They saw you follow him in your Cruiser.

No, I told you, I just kept pissing on.
Sprog and I left way later.

The drag queens at Knob across the alley

were getting ready to piff frangers
at the HQ windows.

We must have left at 10 o'clock, at least.

OK, I need to have a look
at the footage of that night.

-You're leaving?
-I need to see what happened.

Darwin HQ aren't going to show you
what they've got.

Yeah, I know they won't.
And you need to stay here.

Wilson and Greene are out there
trawling for you like squid.

-What? No, I'm coming with you.
-[starts engine] No.

-I can't hear you. The engine's too loud.
-Get a couple of farts out
and I'll be good to go.

Boundless torque!

[metal squeaks and clangs]

You hiding out?

[Miki, on recording]
You've called Michaela Evans.

Kindly leave a message and I shall return
it at my soonest opportunity.

-Thank you.
-[beep]

Miki, it's Dulcie.

Did you say your cousin
worked at a nightclub in Darwin?

-[Oliver] My good sir!
-[Leo, deepened voice] My good sir!

-[Oliver] Weave your magic.
-[Leo] Can do, me old chum.

[quietly] I hate you.

Abby, I've hit my code switching limit
for the year.

This is doing neural damage now. Let's go.

Yeah. There was DNA on the b*llet,
so I'm setting myself the results.

-[Lauren] Ally!
-[dog barks]

Don't hide behind that small child.
I know it's you.

Toby tipped me off.
I'm dobbing on you to the prof--

Lauren, if you dub on me
and my anonymous new friend,

I'm going to tell everyone that
you and Oliver are having sex.

And don't deny it, because
I'm staying in the room next to you.

And I know what sh*t sex sounds like,

because that's the only kind of sex
I've ever had.

And you two are definitely having it,

even though you're blood relatives,
which makes you the incest twins!

And f*ck you too, Toby.

You're going to be dead in five years,
and I'm going to piss on your grave!

[electronic chime]

I've got the file! Move!

Dude, slow down. I'm in flatforms.

[thunder rumbles]

-[Lynn] Cath?
-[Cath] I'm out here, Lynn.

[Lynn] The storm will hit soon.
I'm doing the bus run to the funeral.

-Are you right here?
-[Cath] Yeah.

-Hey, take these ponchos
in case it starts raining.
-Oh.

-[Cath] Do you want me to
bring in Roger's art?
-Yeah, bring it all in.

When the wind picks up,
they turn into missiles.

-Hi, Mav!
-Fixing your caravan door.

Oh, you don't have to do that now.
It's about to bucket down.

Well, I am, alright?!

[Frank] Just swallow it, you daft f*ck!
You can't chew.

I tell you, I'm going to knock that
c**t Bushy's block off for setting me up.

Yeah, well some c**t's have already
beaten you to it, haven't they?

-Which c**t?
-I don't know which c**t.

If I knew which c**t, I'd have nailed
that c**t to a wall, wouldn't I?

-What was Mum like, then?
-What?

My Mum. Your wife, who died.

What was she like?

-Yeah, she was good.
-Oh.

Yeah, great. f*ck' awesome chat, Frank.

-Where was she from?
-India.

Well, whereabouts in India?

-I don't know, someplace.
-Someplace. f*ck.

[Frank] Ah...

Oh! Fiji.

But--

F--

-Fiji's not in India.
-[thunder rumbles]

f*ck.

What else about her, then?

I don't know. I didn't ask anything else.

Why?

You didn't want to know?
You didn't think
I'd
want to know?

Well, I thought we'd have more time,
me and her, didn't I?

And I didn't think I'd have to
find out everything about her

and everything about everything else

because there'd be just me doing it all.

Gita was the one who was good at sh*t. Oh!

Tough as guts, too.

She would have been proud of you.

You on some f*ck' new blood thinners
or something, are you?

Shut up. She would have been.

Yeah, she wouldn't be proud of
some of the stuff I done.

Yeah, well, becoming a copper,
that's a bit of a misstep.

Not becoming a copper. f*ck!

I fed Triple Pet his fourth pet.

I haven't been able to look him in the eye
since I got here.

It's hard enough to look him in the eye,

you have to f*ck' swap between the two.

What the f*ck are you on about, girl?

I fed Sprog to Triple Pet.

You hung them bones up
on the end there to shame me.

That's a f*ck' goat.

-What?
-They've got flat teeth.

They eat grass.

No, no, that's...

Where's Sprog, then?

[Frank] I don't bloody know.

[engine approaches]

Who's this c**t here?

[car door closes]

[dance music ends]

-[drag queen 1] How was that?
-[drag queen 2] Shithouse.

Thank you for helping Miki
and her budju, Isaac.

-Oh, my God, stop talking.
-OK.

[Dulcie] And this is the only camera
you have?

-[Isaac] Yes.
-[Dulcie] Just asking.

OK, that's Bushy leaving now.

What time is this, Isaac?
It's incredibly dark in here.

Yeah, that's because it's a g*y club.

Yes, I know. I am q*eer too, Isaac.

Well, just because you're a l*sbian
doesn't make you q*eer, darl.

It's 7:16pm, see?

It says so on the screen
that is directly in front of you.

[Dulcie] Hang on,
that's Eddie leaving now.

[Isaac] OK.

So Eddie did follow Bushy.

[drag queen] Alright, I'm going out
for a smoke. Are you OK here, Isaac?

[Isaac] Mm-hm.

Can you go to 10pm?

I will never set foot
in here again, Isaac.

That is my solemn vow to you. Thank you.

[Isaac] OK, 8, 9, 10pm.

[Dulcie] Wait, why is the Cruiser back?

I don't know. I have no opinion on this.

[Dulcie] OK, there's Eddie.

And there's Sprog.

No, I d-- I don't understand.

Eddie didn't mention anything
about leaving HQ twice that night.

Wait.

There's blood on the ground.

That wasn't there before.

-[phone rings]
-Um, uh, Isaac,

can you go back to where the Land Cruiser
is returning? Please? I will pay you.

You name your price. Abby.

Dulcie, we're stuck on a bridge
due to wildlife,

but there was biomatter on the b*llet
you found in Eddie's car.

It doesn't belong to Bushy or Eddie.

I think someone else
was in the Land Cruiser that night.

I don't know who it is,

but whoever they are,
they have X-Y chromosomes,

they're gluten intolerant,

and have the MC1R gene variant.

That's the gene that
controls pigmentation.

Dulcie, Bushy's k*ller was a redhead.

He shot himself in the foot.

[thunder rumbles]

Tomorrow's my first official day
as sergeant,

and so I'm going door-to-door
handing out my homebrew.

Pat said it'd be an effective way
to connect with the locals.

Sure.

Yeah. Everyone loves a stout
with notes of...

banana.

[Eddie] What happened
to your moonboot, Moonboot?

You been playing with fire?

-Dropped my cigarette on it.
-Really? I didn't pick you for a smoker.

Well, I am.

[phone rings]

G'day.

[Dulcie]
Eddie, it's Luke. He shot Bushy.

He followed Bushy in your Land Cruiser.

I think he got shot in the foot somehow,

and he drove the Land Cruiser
back to the HQ maybe to get help,

and then moments later you got in it
with Sprog.

He's the one that set you up.

He must be Jason's new liaison.

Yeah, g'day, Roger.

Is Luke there?

What's that?

Dad left his scooter at your place?
The dildo.

Keep him there. I'm on my way.

Alright. Yeah, no. Good on you.

We'll come and pick it up
before you go to the funeral.

Alright. See you, Rog.

[Frank] Who was that?

You left his scooter
at Roger and Mary's, you muppet.

Roger just called on his 5G mobile.

Oh.

[Leo] What can I offer
to lure you off this bridge?

It's not these nuts.
That much is clear to me now.

[Abby] OK, Dolce thinks Luke's the liaison
and he probably k*lled Don.

I just sent a photo of Luke
to Astrid and Ebba

so when they land in Phuket
they can tell us whether or not

he was the guy that gave them
the LISA business card.

I put us all on a group chat.
TBC on fun name,

but I was thinking "Gays, Theys and Abby".

No, Abby, we've been through this.
Remove me from all group chats.

Holy sh*t!

That's Don's torso!

-[Leo] No...
-It'll confirm his cause of death.

We've got to get it!

-Hurry up!
-Ugh...

Col, listen, Wilson and Greene
got it wrong.

It's not Eddie following Bushy
in that footage. It's Luke.

[Culkin]
Luke?
I've drunk his home brew before, Dulce.

I said it was good.
I mean, it wasn't, but still.

-He's with Eddie now.
-Oh, sh*t. Is Eddie OK?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm headed there now.

OK. Uh, I'm bringing a team.

Look, I know Luke looks like
a pinky mouse, but he has a g*n.

So do not approach him
until we arrive, Detective.

[Al, on recording]
You've called Al.
Leave a message.

[Miki] Al, I've been through
Jason's office.

I can't find the burner phone.
I can't find f*ck' anything!

Where's the staff exit?

I'm wandering in the hallways looking like
someone's f*cking mushroom hallucination.

-Oi!
-sh*t!

Al, you slack f*ck! Your f*ck' fake tan
rubbed off on my shorts again.

I look like sh*t myself.

-[man] Jason! Jase.
-[Jason] What?

[man] There's a message from b*ll s*ck
in the group chat.

He reckons that detective's onto us.

Tall one, looks like a man?

No, the short brown c**t
in the three-quarters.

[Jason] f*ck. Right, you tell that
ginger f*ck to get her to Dickie's Knob.

I'll sort this out myself, alright?

[faintly] Right.

[Jason] You.

-Give those a f*ck' Sard.
-[phone chimes]

[Miki] Can't find Mav.
Had a run-in with Pat.

f*ck!

-[message tone]
-[Eddie] Mr Popular, hey?

-[clattering]
-Anyone I know?

[Frank] Nah, can't find
a bottle opener in here.

No worries, Frank.
I'll just MacGyver it open.

-[Frank] Yeah, righto.
-[metal scrapes smoothly]

No, I can't. They're for you.

Nah! Guests first, Lukey.

Hope it's not as strong as
that stuff you made me try at HQ.

Because if it is,
you won't remember a thing tomorrow.

People will be filling in the blanks.

"Oh, you broke into the wave pool.

You got into a fight with an e-scooter.

You m*rder*d your best mate."

That sort of thing.

You know, it's almost like you want me
incapacitated now, for some reason.

Anyway...

drink up, Moonboot.

I f*ck' insist.

[Eddie] Hey!

-Frank, I'm taking your sword!
-[Frank] What?

f*ck.

[Leo] You can't even be sure
it's him, Abby.

[Abby] It's obviously
Don Darrell's torso, Leo.

Just help me get it in.
I need to examine it.

[Leo] No, just leave it.
That torso belongs to the river now.

Agh! Leo, we still don't know
the cause of Don Darrell's death, OK?

And it's really hard to prosecute a m*rder

if you don't have the evidence
of
how
they were m*rder*d.

[Leo] Well, I don't believe
in the carceral system,

so my presence is ornamental.

-[sighs]
-Also,
you
chose this job, not me.

I'm done with true crime.

White people can find
someone else's trauma to listen to

while they use an elliptical
at 5am on a Saturday morning.

Um... Hang on. That's weird.

A lot of this damage isn't post-mortem.

-Leo, you should see this.
-Nope.

I'm not falling for that again.

Seriously, his chest is caved in
and his sternum's been completely pulped.

[Leo] Oh, my God, no. Stop talking.

I can taste every word
that you're saying, Abby.

Leo, he's got purple striations.

They match the tread of tyres,

like, big ones.

Oh, sh*t, that's fatal crush trauma.

That's what k*lled him!

He was run over by massive tyres!

f*ck! The duckboat.

DJ!

What's a duckboat DJ?

-Oh!
-[phone rings]

Oh!

Eddie, we figured out
who k*lled Don Darrell.

Yeah. It's Luke,
he's the f*cking LISA lesion.

-No, it was DJ Darrell.
-What?

He ran over him in his duckboat.

I don't think the murders are connected.

OK, we'll cuff him to a pole,

and deal with it later
like Pap smear results.

Luke's escaped.
He's headed to Dickie's Knob.

I'm going in after him.
I need backup, Big Eyes.

[Abby] OK, drop me a pin, I'm coming now.

Uh, Abby, torso went that way.

But Eddie needs help, so thank you
so much, Leo, for understanding.

You are the best. I have to go.

No, Abby, the torso is floating away!

Just chase it down, then!

[Eddie shouts] Moonboot!

Don't go any further!
It's croc city in there!

[Beef, on radio]
And now, Skiddy, a request.

It's Dave Dobbyn, "Slice Of Heaven".

Not now!

-[turns radio off]
-[phone rings]

Miki?

[Miki]
Dulcie, I nicked Jason's
LISA burner from Land of Crocs,

but when I was there, Dulcie,
Eddie's in danger. Jason's gone after her.

Yeah, I'm headed to Frank's now.

No, he told some ginger f*ck
to take her out to Dickie's Knob.

I wanted to follow him,
but Al can't find Mav, and I...

I have kids, Dulcie.

I can't be Batman
and just go and save Eddie,

even though I really want to!

Eddie wouldn't want you to
be Batman, Miki. Just find Mav.

Eddie's going to be OK. I'm... I'm on it.

Mav! Mav!

Mav!

[thunder rumbles]

[Troy] And now there's...
there's no king of the river,

'cause now Dad is dead.

We still don't know who m*rder*d
and chainsawed up our dad,

but when we find them,
we're going to rip their dicks off.

The end.

-[applause]
-[thunder rumbles]

Um, when I was a kid,
Dad called me his perfect princess.

[sniffles loudly]

But little girls grow up
and turn into their mum.

Dad used to say that the sight of me
reminded him of Mum.

-[thunder crashes]
-And Dad--

Right, nah, that's it. Troy! Troy! Music.

-Deej, I'm not even done!
-Doesn't matter. I don't care.

Hurry up! It's going to piss down.

-[electronic chiming and voice]
Bluetooth connected.
-[music plays]

[DJ] Alright, the funeral's over,
everyone. The wake's at the pub.

Alright, see youse later.

[thunder crashes]

[DJ] Grent! Get up here
and help us with these boxes of Dad.

[Grent] Yep.

[DJ] Get the shotties.

Get him in the water. It's what he wanted.

[music continues]

[DJ] Alright, let's get out of here.

[Leo] Ugh, Abby,
you can go f*ck yourself.

-[music continues]
-What am I meant to do with this?

-Put it in my Picanto?
-[phone rings]

[DJ] Troy, turn the f*ck' music off!

Um, yep, hello? Hello?

[man]
Yeah, Detective Lee?

-Yeah, it's Angelo from Marketplace.
-[thunder crashes]

You called me the other day
about the chainsaw I listed?

Um, can I call you back, Angelo?
It's not a great time.

-Yeah, no, look, I won't keep you.
-[DJ] Oi!

-Sorry, it's taken me a couple of days.
-Funeral's over, Leon.

[chiming]
Bluetooth connected.

[Angelo]
I've had a rotten case of gout.

-Anyway, yeah, that chainsaw
I sold the other week...
-sh*t! No, no! Disconnect! sh*t!

...the one that you think might have been
involved in that Barra Creek m*rder?

Yeah, the bloke who bought it paid cash,

so I don't have any details.

Yeah, so I didn't catch his name,

but he kept trying to get me to
follow him on his socials.

Anyway, none of
my
business.

I didn't ask questions.

But what I will say is he was a wiry guy,
greasy kind of looking bloke,

like a cooked chook
you'd feed to a dog under the table.

[chiming]

You pathetic f*ck! You k*lled Dad.

DJ, you said that you didn't k*ll Dad.

No, no, it was f*ck' Jason Wade
what did it!

Wh-- 'Cause... if it wasn't for him,
I wouldn't have to f*ck' k*ll Dad.

-So you did k*ll Dad?
-No, no, I didn't. I--

I didn't k*ll him. I-- f*ck!

[g*nsh*t]

That's for murdering my dad-in-law.

Dad didn't even like you, Grent,
you anaphylactic f*ck!

[groans]

Dad said that he would
give Best Best to me,

and then he didn't!

You f*cking toddler!

Pissin' it all over our entire family
'cause things didn't go your way.

You poisoned Dad, you chopped him up
and chucked him in the f*cking river!

I didn't chop him and chuck him!

I just poisoned him
and then I ran him over.

Who did then, DJ?
He didn't chop and chuck himself, did he?

-[g*nsh*t]
-f*ck!

-Get the f*ck away from her!
-No!

-[grunts] f*ck' b*tch!
-[screams]

[Amber] Teegs!

-[Grent groans]
-Teegs!

[Grent] Agh!

-I love you.
-[Tegan] I love you so much.

[Amber] You little maggot!

You shot my maid of honour!

[Colleen] Amber, get away from my son!

Mum, what are you doing?

Fifty years of marriage,

working day-in and day-out,

hacking up horse for that b*stard,

through seven pregnancies

and six rounds of chemo!

Your dad said we were retiring.

Gonna travel around Australia
in a caravan.

He said he was
handing the business over to DJ.

But then he got that hush money
out of Jason, said he was staying.

He couldn't give up
being king of the river.

Well, I wasn't working myself
into the grave for that b*stard.

Your brother did what needed to be done.

Yeah! I did what needed to be done.

Alright? I'm the new alpha!
I'm the river king!

[g*nsh*t]

[Colleen] DJ! Donald Junior!

[Troy] Oh, DJ!

[sobbing]

Mum, stay back! Don't look!

-[Troy] DJ, get up!
-sh*t.

[Amber] It's gonna be alright.
I can look after us.

I know how to do everything.

Mum, it's OK. I'm here.

I'm here.

I can do it. I can take care of you.

Don't be so bloody stupid, Amber!

You're just a girl.

A useless f*ck' girl.

[g*nsh*t]

[Leo breathes heavily]

[Troy] Just get out of here!
Just... Just go!

Leave my mum alone, Mum!

[car door opens and closes]

[engine starts]

Where--

Where... Where is... Where did she go?

Mum!

Mum!

Mum!

[thunder rumbles]

[Eddie] Moonboot!
I know you're working with Jason.

And you f*ck' stitched me up!

-[Abby] Eddie, where are you?
-[phone chimes]

What?

[thunder crashes]

Agh!

Eddie, where are you?

I'm at the tip of the Knob.
I've lost Luke.

Luke didn't give the LISA card
to the backpackers!

-It was someone else.
-What?

Luke isn't the liai--

[Eddie]
Big Eyes, I can't hear you.

I'm gonna head back down the shaft, OK?
I'll meet you at the ba*ls.

[Dulcie] Eddie!

Eddie!

[crunching]

[panting and whimpering]

[Dulcie] Luke! Luke, stop!

[Eddie] Big Eyes! Where are ya?

G'day, g'day.

What's your plan here?
You gonna do a little jousting?

Run, rabbit, run. [chuckles]

I'll give you a head start.

Don't go in there, Luke!

It just leads to the river.

Get your hands in the air.

Don't look at me like that.

If he'd have given
you
the order,
you'd have followed it too.

It's the only way to get in with that lot.

What?

And I deserve my share, too.

In with who, Luke? Who else?

[g*nsh*t]

[Beef, on radio]
Well, Skiddy,
it's the end of the Bashnanza.

[Skid]
Sure is, Beefy.

[Beef]
And nobody caught the Golden Barra.

[Skid]
No, but who knows?

Maybe it'll still be swimming around
next year.

[Beef]
I doubt it.
It'll get eaten by a croc.

-[Skid]
Yeah.
-[Beef]
OK, shall we go to some music?

-[Skid]
Yeah, this is Pete Murray's new
cover of Dave Dobbyn's "Slice Of Heaven".
-[Pat] Mav!

Stop!

Oi! Mav!

Disrespectful sh*t. [starts engine]

[siren wails]

You see that, Dulce?

He was going for his weapon, wasn't he?

[sighs]

It's you.

You're
working with Jason.

[Jason] You know, Eddie,
Bushy didn't think much of you.

He was always calling you
a useless piece of brown sh*t.

And that new partner of yours?

What's her name? Dulcie?

She doesn't give a f*ck about you, either.

-Yes, she does!
-Oh, yeah?

Where is she, then?

Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't
tell you earlier, Dulce.

It's not that
I don't trust you, obviously.

I just wanted you to
get a sense of things before we chatted.

Before we chatted, Col?

Yeah, well, I've been looking for
a new recruit for months, you know,

and Bushman didn't work out.

I mean, he immediately
asked for more money

after the Frank McCallister frame-up.

But then Redcliffe started asking
too many questions

about what Bushy was up to.

And, I mean, Luke, he was supposed to
get rid of Bushy and frame up Eddie.

But to be quite honest,
I don't think Luke's a good fit for this.

But you
are,
Dulcie.

You are incredible at your job.

And, unlike these blokes you deal with,
no ego, no d*ck-swinging.

It's just so refreshing.
You are perfect for my team.

I mean, you're exceptional police!
You thrive on structure.

You follow the rules, and you know when to
stretch them to get what you need done.

I mean, that's all this is,
this work with LISA.

We just smooth some pipelines. It's easy.

[Jason] Col's taken a real shine
to your mate Dulcie.

You know she's been informing on you?

Turned you in
when she found that b*llet in your car.

In fact, she's with Col now...

selling you out.

[growls] f*ck.

I know you can do it, darling.

The way you handled
all that stuff with Redcliffe,

it just confirmed it for me.

No, you got in my ear about Eddie, Col.

You lied!

And I listened to you.

[Culkin] No, I just think you needed
a bit of a nudge reframing that

to save your own career.

I mean, sometimes us fathers
have to intervene.

We can't help it.

Where's Eddie?

Jason's with her.

And trust me, Dulce, even she knows
you're better off without her.

Eddie! I'm here and I'm coming for you!

She's a good liar, I'll give her that.

Collins! I'm here!

Come on, Dulcie!
This is a huge professional opportunity.

And don't think you're too good for this.
This is who we are!

[Eddie] Collins!

Jesus! Dulcie!

Don't make me do this.

You gave this card
to the backpackers, Col.

They remember you.

We're working with a journalist, too.

Oh, they know everything.

So you can sh**t me, Col.

But, by morning, your face, your name...

...they'll still be everywhere.

-[g*nsh*t]
-[gasps]

[Eddie] Collins!

[Jason] I've got you in the funnel, mate.

Give up.

Turn around.

-[Dulcie] Eddie!
-[Jason] Ugh!

Trust a b*tch as tall as you
to be that f*cking loud.

[grunting]

[groans]

[indistinctly] You f*cking c**t!
You knocked my f*cking teeth out!

[all scream]

[all breathe heavily]

-[phone ringing]
-Oh, Jesus.

-[siren wails]
-Pat.

[Pat] I need backup.
Mav's stolen your campervan, Dulce.

I'm in pursuit.

-What? He's just a kid. No!
-No, no, no, Pat!

No, he's a criminal is what he is.

Would have been him that
stole your Land Cruiser that night.

-I'm going after him.
-No, leave him, Pat!

-[Eddie] Pull the f*ck over, Pat!
-Leave him!

-[Dulcie] Pat, stand down!
-No, I'm not letting him go.

-Pat!
-You will run him off the road!

[Eddie] He's 10 years old!
He's just a little boy!

No, he's not getting away with this.

-[Pat] Mav!
-She's got her g*n out! Pat!

Hands where I can see 'em!

[Dulcie] No!

[♪ "Reckless" by Dragon plays]

♪ Meet me down by the jetty landing ♪

♪ Where the pontoons bump and sway ♪

♪ Miss our early morning wrestle ♪

♪ Not a very happy ♪

♪ way to start the day ♪

♪ Ah, ah...

Clay.

-Oh! That's gross!
-[Cherry] Oh, Boss!

Your farts smell like beef lasagne, Boss!

[laughs]

-[Miki] Where is she?
-[Lynn] Over there, Mik.

You're not coming back here.

[siren approaches]

♪ She don't like ♪

♪ That kind of behaviour ♪

♪ She don't like ♪

♪ That kind of behaviour ♪

-♪ So...
-[Dulcie sobs]

♪ Throw down your g*ns ♪

♪ Don't be so reckless ♪

♪ Throw down your g*ns ♪

♪ Don't be so ♪♪

[gentle choral music plays]

[Eddie and kids shout] Hammerhead shark!

-[indistinct shouting and laughter]
-[music plays]

[Cath] Now, what are your plans, Abs?

Well, I booked Leo and I
onto a Croatian booze cruise.

We're going to get our nips out!

-Abby, I don't drink.
-But you're probably 24 years old.

The world's on fire.
Let's just have some fun.

I'm 36.

What?

-[inaudible]
-[Cherry] I want to be a hammerhead!

-You got a booger?
-Yeah.

-Got two.
-Yeah, heaps.

[indistinct chatter]

[Lynn] Hey, Mar, get in!

-Are you off?
-For now.

-Did you hand your badge in?
-Yeah.

-You?
-Oh, I haven't found it yet.

When I do, I'll probably just
piff it in the river.

[laughs] OK, good.

That's a solid plan.

[shouts] I love you!

It's easier to...

-shout it.
-OK, well... I love you too.

Look at that.

My face is in your t*ts
like you've always wanted.

OK, off you pop. Go on, get back to
your first ever girlfriend.

-Tell you what, mate, how good is vag?
-Yeah, very good.

-You always bang on about it.
-Alright. Just keep your voice down.
Yep. OK, alright.

-[phone ringing]
-OK.

[Mary] Hello?

Oi, you mob, does anyone know
a Lloyd Reynolds?

He's just won a jet ski!

-[Eddie] Oh, that's my f*ck' jet ski!
-[cheering]

[♪ "Rain" by Dragon plays]

♪ Ice on my window ♪

♪ Ice in my heart ♪

♪ Fooling with thunder ♪

♪ Every time we start ♪

♪ It's been raining ♪

♪ For so long ♪

[Cath sings along]
♪ It's been raining ♪

♪ For so...

Here comes the chorus.
Just one line, Dulce.

♪ Don't you go out in the rain...

Come on. Come on.

[Dulcie joins, softly]
♪ Don't go out in the pouring rain...

-[Cath] Oh! Voice of an angel!
-[Dulcie] Oh, thanks, love.

[Cath] OK, here we are.

[Dulcie] Here, where?

Cath, what is this?

[Dulcie] Hey, those are arcus clouds.

[Cath] I know they are.

Wait...

Are they storm chasers?

Surprise! Happy unemployment!

Come on, we'll miss the storm.

["Ngabujiyu Akurija - Nanna Song"
in Yanyuwa language
by Shellie Morris plays]

Hi! I'm Cath. This is my wife, Dulcie.

We're on a road trip!

Oh, my God.

Apparently this storm is a...

warm-core non-frontal synoptic scale
low pressure system.

Are you flirting with me?

Always.

Here we go.

Showtime.

[thunder rumbles]

f*ck, I f*ck' love the weather!

["Ngabujiyu Akurija - Nanna Song"
continues]

[music ends]