01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

-[fireworks exploding]
-sh*t. f*ck.

-sh*t!
-[man] That way!

Go!

[dance music playing]

[screaming and laughing]

Yeah! f*ck! sh*t! f*ck!

[laughing]

[Sue] That was insane.

[Alex] I didn't know what to do.

Because it's fire, this primal part of you
wants to run and dance in it

like the world's ending.

There's this incredible energy,
this incredible power that's so beyond

anything you could generate
on your own in your living room.

And God only knows I've tried to do that.

f*cking hell, man. That was insane.

I'm still, like, buzzed.

Unbelievable.

There's something weird that happens
after a truly exhilarating experience.

Half of you wants more,

to feel that adrenalin
coursing through your veins forever.

To run, fly, escape.

The other half wonders,
"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Do you really need
to risk life and limb to feel alive?"

What exactly is it about normal life
you're trying to escape?"

Alex, for his part, had escaped already.

He claimed he had
a gig back in Mexico City

and abandoned me on the side of the road,

promising me that some friends of his
would be along to pick me up.

And he promptly disappeared
from my life forever.

Hi, guys.

I'm Sue and I'm from London in England,
a little place called Croydon.

Um...

Does anybody here speak English?

-[man] I'm speak.
-Thank you, hello.

[adventurous music playing]

Tell me about these guys. Who are you?

-I'm Fight Panther.
-Fight Panther.

Yes. That boy is Caillou.

And Joe Líder, Crazy Boy...

Crazy Boy is a great name.

...Paranoiko and Polux.

-Bollocks?
-Yes.

Polux is totally gonna die soon.

[Sue] He might work on that name.

-Yes.
-How did he get that name?

-I don't know.
-I'll find out.

There's a story behind that name.

-Polux is Polux.
-Yes.

-And he is the son of the Polux.
-He comes from a long line of Bollocks.

-Yes.
-Oh, okay. That answers that.

[Fight Panther] Extreme Wrestling,
it's a different style of wrestling.

[Sue] Okay.

[Fight Panther] And in this fight,
you can...

using lamps, using sticks,

using the tables and chairs.

So you will hurt each other.

You don't pretend. It's real.

It's real. So in Mexico, it's different.
Mexico don't have rules.

[chuckles softly] Mexico...

-It doesn't have rules.
-Don't have rules for anything.

[Sue] And what do you do in the week?
Do you have a job?

Yes, I have a job,
and I am study university for marketing.

So you study marketing in the week,

and then at the weekend, Fight Panther.

[Fight Panther] Yes.

I'm an amateur wrestler.

[Sue] But you make some money?

Yes. You needed the money
because you need it to go to the hospital.

You need it to buy medicines for the body.

You need it to pay.

But if you don't wrestle,
then you don't need to go to the hospital.

So it seems like all you're doing
is wrestling to pay your hospital bills.

-Yes.
-Okay. All right.

Fight Panther wasn't exaggerating.

He and his colleagues are exponents
of something called "Extreme Lucha Libre,"

which takes the normal
everyday violence of Mexican wrestling

and adds in a lot, lot more violence.

Tonight, though, is going to be special.

The final fight of a legend of the sport...

Halloween.

When I was a kid in Tulancingo

I would go very quickly to take
the wrestlers from behind.

With my mask, I am very different.

We are all crazy.

They think you are crazy, because to them,
you are doing a crazy thing.

[audience cheering]

[Sue exclaims]

[cheering]

[Sue laughs]

Fight Panther.

[man in English] Sue,
what was that all about?

I didn't expect to be part of the match.

One nearly landed on me at one point.

But what was great is that was...
I can't say his real name.

But that was my mate on the bus.

And tomorrow, of course,
back to marketing.

[audience exclaims]

[Sue] Yes!

Come on, sir. Come on!

Halloween! [chuckles]

[chanting] Halloween!

Halloween! Halloween!

Go!

[cheering]

[in English] After three hours
of bloodshed,

Halloween took to the ring
in readiness for his last ever fight.

[choral music playing]

[Sue] For Halloween,

having a friend force his forehead
into a pile of broken glass

was his happy place.

For him, being smashed around the face
with a metal chair,

a sort of nirvana.

Lying here in a puddle of his own blood,

he was truly content.

I loved it.

The drama, the spectacle,

the bit where they got out
a pack of drawing pins

and rubbed them into each other's eyes.

But I'm pretty sure
it wouldn't make me content.

Now more than ever,
I wanted to find out what would.

[imperceptible]

Well, another relaxing night in Mexico.

So, I've gone from
a town of exploding donkeys

to another town full of men in tights

who fight by smashing

a half of a lighting shop
over each other's faces.

Lucha Extrema!

That's in Poza Rica.

Now Yucatan, baby.

BAKERY

Before we start,
can you please tell me where I am?

-I don't know. No, I know.
-[laughs]

It always feels like a kidnap,
that I'm just being handed over.

Yeah, that's how it feels to be in Mexico.

Being kidnapped.
I'm sorry. No, that's not true.

No, it is.

We're in a little town called Pomuch.

-Pomuch.
-Which means something.

Something probably deep and spiritual.

-Yes, that I know nothing about.
-Yeah. That's fine.

You know what is
really interesting in this town?

How do you feel about death?

Well, I'm trying to avoid it
for as long as possible

-is my main feeling about it.
-Yes.

But if you someday decide
to go right into death...

-Yeah.
-...you should come here.

Because they treat
their dead very special.

They bury their dead
for like two or three years

so that the skin and everything falls off,

and then when they are pure bone,

they dig out the bone
and they clean the bones

and they put them in these little boxes.

-No.
-Yes.

Here specifically,
the Mayans are like the...

They're like the weird uncle
of the Mexican traditions.

Okay.

Like, "That's my weird drunk uncle.
Don't pay attention to him."

Your version of death is now everywhere.

-All the kids can embrace it.
-Exactly.

What do you do in England
when somebody dies?

We do the sensible thing.

Put them in a box,
never see them again.

Don't talk of them. Just pop them in,
there's' a conveyor belt.

We'll play "Land of Hope and Glory"
or something.

And then the box moves in,
and that's all, folks.

And then you wonder why ten years later,

you've had this pain in your chest
that hasn't gone away.

Mexicans also don't like to think
that death is all there is.

What have I just drunk?

That's my grandmother, actually.

[chuckles]

So you said they arrange the bones. How?

I mean, in a circle or a pattern or...

I mean, it's...
Why don't you come and see it?

-We'll go and see it?
-Yeah.

Is that gonna creep you out?

-Yes, totally.
-Me too.

["God's Gonna Cut You Down" playing]

♪ Run on for a long time ♪

♪ You can run on for a long time ♪

♪ Sooner or later
God'll cut you down ♪

Señor, can I ask
who these bones belong to?

We have this body.
It belongs to my dead grandpa.

Domenance Tuseguán

who has passed away.

Here we have all his bones
that we'll need.

[Sue in English] Forgive me
for being direct.

Is it you that then digs up the body
or takes the body out?

When the person dies,
I put them to rest here,

in the big vaults.

So that person...

We then wait three years.

Not everybody can handle this.
Sometimes the staff standing next to us...

Sometimes people can't stand the smell

They need to throw up.

[in English] That translates.

Because of the smell. It's still fresh

But we are used to it.

-We don't.
-I don't feel it.

[Sue in English] And what is
the significance of cleaning the bones?

It is as if you

are giving a party for your birthday,

and you ask your mates,
your friends to come,

to come to party with you.

With this cleaning, the dead feel happy.

We have our visitors
and they feel satisfied.

[Sue in English] So he's sort of getting
dressed up for the fiesta.

[Sofia] Exactly.

My grandfathers and great-grandfathers
taught us to do this,

so we don't want to forget it.

And I wish our children

or our friends follow this tradition,

the cleaning of the bones
of the deceased faithful.

[Sue in English] I didn't know
how legal it is.

I mean, in the UK,
you can't exhume a body.

-There's a whole...
-[Sofia] Process.

Yeah, you certainly
wouldn't just be able to go,

"I want to see my grandma again."

That's ill*gal.
You know, it's grave robbing.

Even if you're a family member.

This is my grandfather,
he was a working man.

He died at the age of 35.

He died young. He was a chiclero.

He was cutting the resin

of the zapote.

The resin comes out every six years.

[in English] Can I ask, sir, how you feel
about death, about your own mortality?

I feel happy, because in this country

in our town,

it is a natural tradition,

we have to die,
we have to leave this place

because we are living on borrowed time,

we have to leave from here,
and only the body stays here.

[Sue in English] Listening to Venancio

and watching him dutifully
polish up his granddad's skeleton,

it suddenly struck me that
despite all my running around,

blowing myself up
and having near-death experiences,

the whole point of this trip
was to feel alive again.

Maybe you only need to
remind yourself to feel alive again

if you're somehow worried about death.

Venancio wasn't scared of death.

Venancio embraced death,

actually physically embraced it
twice weekly.

And for a brief moment, floating there
in that ancient Mexican cave,

I wasn't scared either.

[water dripping slowly]

[whispering] This is just
so perfectly peaceful.

[man in normal voice] And cut.

Thanks for your patience, guys.
Thank you. Thanks, everyone.

[people cheering]

[Sue] I was about to fly to Brazil,

one of the most amazing,
carefree, f*ck-it-all

and have fun places
on the face of the earth.

[dramatic music playing]

But then, all of a sudden,

everything ground to a sickening halt.

For the next two years,
I was unable to do anything.

Unable to see friends, family,
unable to travel anywhere.

It was the opposite of cutting loose,
of living without rules.

All we had was rules.

It wasn't perfectly legal
to do anything much at all.

Except watch the endless cycle
of apocalyptic news reports.

[imperceptible]

Constant washing,
endless testing, virtual quizzes.

[man over speaker] Brazil won
the 1970 World Cup.

[Sue] More testing, more news,
locked down.

You're muted. Just click unmute.

Unmute your...

Stuck without distractions,
just me and my thoughts and my baggage.

Until finally, 768 days later...

[man] Just look ahead and run.

[Sue screaming]

[Sue screaming]

[triumphant music playing]

Yes!

-You have a kip now. I've got this.
-Mmm-hmm.

[Sue] I'll land on the motorway, right?

I wanted to say that
we did practise the take-off,

but not the landing.

[Sue screams]

[Sue exclaims]

[speaks Portuguese]

[exhales]

Two more, please.

-Hey, Sue.
-Hey, you.

-How are you?
-[woman] What's up?

So nice to see you.

-How's it going?
-Good to see you too.

Hey there.

[both] Chin-chin.

-I love Rio already.
-Yes.

So tonight we'll party.

I'm going to show you samba,
live samba in Lapa.

We'll dance on the street.

Drink on the streets. Gonna be amazing.

What happened about getting in,
jet lag and having a night just to chill?

Not in Brazil.

-Okay.
-Maybe that's France.

Okay. [chuckles]

By the fifth caipirinha,
your hips are gonna shake.

You're not gonna understand
what is happening.

-No.
-Yeah.

Okay.

-[Sue] Teach me some moves?
-[Carol] Sure.

-[Sue] Okay. Yeah.
-But there's a trick.

-Mmm-hmm?
-If you literally can't shake your hips,

you can shake your shoulders really hard,

and then your hips will shake
because your whole body is shaking.

But if I do that, then my belly's
gonna go like Newton's cradle.

It's perpetual motion.

It'll literally be doing that all night.
Won't stop. I mean...

[laughs]

So I've got certain expectations.

Yeah. What?

Just crazy,
every-day's-a-fiesta, limitless fun.

Am I right?

If you're unemployed, yes. [laughs]

All right.

Technically, I am most of the time, yeah.

[Carol] But, I mean, Brazil,
the best thing we do is parties.

And also we have this hangover pill,

which is the Brazilian
best contribution to science.

Okay.

'Cause you take one
before you start drinking, one after.

Tomorrow, you're new. You're fine.

You can party again.

Has anybody ever asked you
what's in that pill?

I have no idea.

And I'm afraid to find out.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

I'm prepared to accept
Brazil's major contribution to science.

Take one now because we're going to start.

Very strong Matrix vibes.
Only in The Matrix, it was a choice.

Here, not so much.

Chin-chin.

It's going to be great, Sue.

[Sue] For some reason, Carol had lined up
a mototaxi to take us into town.

Mototaxis, by the way, great.

No idea why we don't have them.

But if they do catch on, though,

my advice is
just let adults do the steering.

[Sue] Oh, God, not downhill.

[driver speaking indistinctly]

Whoo!

[upbeat dance music playing]

[Sue in English] In my country, to dance,

we need to be virtually in a coma
through alcohol poisoning.

[laughs]

-How do you like it?
-Perfect.

They basically repurposed
the hand sanitiser into a drink.

How do you do that?

-It's the tippy toes.
-Yeah.

If you do like this,
one foot in the front...

Keep doing it.

Yeah!

I need to move my feet quicker.

You don't really know your tribe
until you hit a gaff like this.

And it seems that my babe magnet is
very much drawing in the over-seventies.

The grey love coming my way.
It's like a tsunami of pensioner.

[dance music continues playing]

I'm letting 'em all in.
I'm loving it. Yeah.

Two years I've not had fun.

Two years, the fun gland
has been sort of squeezed.

And now suddenly I'm let loose
in an atmosphere where there are people,

there's booze
and there's great dancing, and...

This is what it's all about.

Music, life, fun.

All the things we'd forgotten how to do.

[Carol squeals]

[Sam] Really?

Sue. f*ck off.

Whoo!

[knock on door]

[toilet flushing]

[man] Can we do the map scene?

[Sue] This is what happens
when you don't take the second pill.

[sighs]

[coughing]

Okay, uh, this feels like a quiz question,

but I think I know the answer.

I'm in Brazil,

in the home of football, sexy times,
and the nut.

First thing I like to do off a flight
is fly some more.

But this time,

just essentially holding on
to a bar next to a guy called Beto.

I mean, I'm not great with bodies.

I'm not great.
Let's do some legs sticking out there.

It looks more like a cheese sandwich, but...

work with that.

[animated screaming]

Straight after that
high-adrenalin experience,

I want to calm down.

So I get up on the back of a motorbike
driven by a 14-year-old with a death wish.

Never got his name,
was too busy screaming into his back.

There. Those are my kidneys.

They just sort of flew around
back into my body.

[engine revving]

And then after that,
all-night bender with the lovely Carol.

And a little bit of...

sexy samba.

So there we go. I've drawn her
with unfeasibly large boobs.

I don't know why I've done that.
I mean, she's basically... She's 50% jug.

Apologies.

[samba music playing]

[Sue] Look, I know this might be stating
the obvious, but I'm really white.

And I don't just mean in the obvious,

fantastically privileged
life on a plate kind of way.

I'm white in a "sh*t, that's shiny.
Has she ever been outside?" way.

By the time I got to Brazil,

two years of lockdown
had given my already fair skin

a strange, dazzling iridescent glow.

Luckily, Carol had a solution in hand,

dragging me halfway across the city

to meet a woman who could supposedly
cure my Nosferatu complexion.

[Carol] So, Sue, do you know that
here in Brazil, and especially in Rio,

the beauty standards are very high, right?

-Take care.
-No. [laughs]

No, I am allowed to be here.
So come, it's fine.

Yeah, but you're beautiful.

We both are.

And here, especially in Rio,
you've got to have a tan line.

A tan line?

You've got to have a tan
and then a tan line.

But why the tan line?
Surely, you want it all to be golden.

-Because it's sexy.
-Is it?

It's sexy.
It looks like you've been at the beach.

[Sue] Oh, okay.

But the solariums were ill*gal, like,
ten years ago because there's...

Of all the things to be ill*gal in Brazil.
A solarium?

Yes, because the cancer

is worse than
smoking cigarettes, apparently.

Oh, okay, that makes sense.

So here in Brazil, we have this
natural kind of tanning salon.

Rooftop tanning.

So this place where I'm taking you,
they have a special technique.

[both greeting in Portuguese]

[in Portuguese] Welcome to Realengo!

Here we are.

Wow.

These are the girls getting a tan
on the rooftop.

I haven't seen so much nudity
since my grandma's 90th.

Hello.

Let's glue some tape?

[Sue in English] Oh, so you're using
electrical tape to create a tan line.

Do you want to try it yourself?

[in English] Oh, there.

Just nice to have a bit of contact
after the pandemic.

Thanks for popping them
slightly higher than they are as well.

Lovely.

So can I see? Is that okay?

All of them with a tan line.

This is the community culture.

[in English] That's nice. Nice thong mark.

I feel I should know your name
because I've just seen your crevice.

Yeah, it's good.

It's good.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the memo.
I didn't bring my beach-ready body.

This body is designed
for comfort rather than display.

Um, so although I'm body-positive,

I think it's more in the sense
that I'm positive I shouldn't show it.

[in Spanish]
♪ Give me your intimacy ♪

♪ What's intimacy ♪

♪ I'll give you activity ♪

♪ Hmm, hmm ♪

[Sue] I know, I know.

The whole point of this trip
is to experience things

that I could never do at home.

But I genuinely didn't want to strip naked
and let a stranger gaffer up my privates.

I certainly didn't want you
to have to see it.

Erika was insistent, though,

so I eventually agreed
to let her tape me up.

-[man] So what have you gone for here?
-[chuckles]

Just gone for something very simple.

This is all very jazzy around me.

So I've just gone for something
to accentuate the myopia

and your classic truckers tan, really.

You want to get that really nice
van driver white line.

I will cool you down.

[in English] No idea what that means.
Thank you.

Thank you so much, Erika.

So when I think of Brazil,
I think of beautiful people like you guys.

Is beauty important here?

Beauty is extremely important here.

To be well and appreciated.

[in English] In my country,
people hide the fact

that they've had Botox, fillers,
plastic surgery.

Here it's out in the open.

We really like to show what we do,
we don't hide it.

We like to record things, create content,
really show what we have added,

procedures we have made, here and there.

We like to be beautiful, and to show it.

[in English] How many people here
have had a boob job?

She has, I have, she also has...

I have.

When I had my boob job, when I woke up,
I only cried,

because it is really nice now
to wear a low-cut top,

it draws a lot of attention.

[in English] If you eat as many carbs
as I do, you'd have t*ts like this. Easy.

You don't need surgery.
You just need pasta.

Having the money to buy a car,

if I have to choose between a car
and a boob job, I choose the boob job.

I can take a bus, but having my big boobs.

-[woman] And you don't ever leave the bus.
-A thousand times...

[in English] Who's had a butt job?

Me. I took it from here
and added it to my butt.

[in English] Oh, look at that butt.

Erika, why did you
have plastic surgery? Why?

Because fat in my belly bothered me,
and taking it from the front

to add it behind, I thought it was good.

[in English] I'm in.

I've got a couple of kilos
I could just really do with...

placing around the back.

And be beautiful today in Brazil
is something cultural.

You are born ready for that.
Your mum adorns your hair...

You become a Barbie.

We tend to get better, more beautiful.

That is why we are not ashamed to say what
we have done, and what we have not.

The right to be beautiful here
is demanding.

If you are beautiful,
if you have a beautiful body,

you are invited to parties.

If you are not at all like that,

you are not invited.

[in English] Tell me about it.

Not a right,
but an obligation to be beautiful.

[man in English] How was that
for you, Sue?

I mean, I certainly think...

I achieved peak beauty in there.
Really showed them a thing or two.

Girls like that have always
been intimidating to me.

They're just perfect,
perfect and beautiful.

But I come from a culture where,
I'd see them as artificial,

they've made too much of an effort,
and they're a bit up themselves

'cause they got fake boobs
and a big booty.

And actually it's completely different.

Here it's accepted that
you want to make the best out of yourself.

The girls felt an obligation,
and I guess when I think of obligation,

I think of
a heavy weight of responsibility,

but it doesn't feel like that.

It feels more like
when they say "obligation,"

it means like a cultural responsibility
to look good, fly the flag.

"We're not just good
at football, you know."

"We're just so g*dd*mn beautiful."

And there's a joy
about that that you can't...

There's no point of being snarky about it.

I don't know what
we've been doing in the UK all this time.

Just deliberately looking crap.

With my tanning problem cured,

Carol announced it was now okay for me
to be reintroduced into Brazilian society.

The plan was to go to one of the city's
infamous neighbourhoods

and attend something
called a carioca funk ball.

Headlining would be
an artist called MC Carol,

a pioneer of a type of music
so notorious and shocking,

it was at one point
banned outside the favelas.

We headed to her recording studio
to see her doing her thang.

I'm so sorry for saying "thang."

[MC Carol rapping in Portuguese]

♪ Now you look at my a*s
Going up and down ♪

-[Carol in English] Sue, Philip.
-Nice to meet you.

♪ ...peeking out of the corner of the eye
and she has laid a hand... ♪

[in English] And this is MC Carol.

[rapping in Portuguese] ♪ This rhyme aims
to shatter, the myth that size do matter ♪

[in English] My a*s is going up and down,
up and down.

Okay, sorry,
was that the song or was that you?

-No, no... [laughs]
-Okay.

[rapping in Portuguese]

[in English] Up and down.

You're gonna look at me and appreciate.

I wanna f*ck you hard.

I want to f*ck you on the street.

[Sue] Okay.

Whoo!

[rapping in Portuguese]

[in English] I want it hard.

I want it big, I want it...

-Okay. Yes.
-You know, hard.

[rapping in Portuguese]

[in English] "Wait. Soon I'm going
to come again," she says. Yeah.

[continues rapping]

-[Carol] I want a big d*ck at the ball.
-[Sue] A big d*ck.

[rapping in Portuguese]

[in English]
And my p*ssy wants to f*ck you.

But it it hurts because,
you know, the d*ck is big.

Okay. But it could be chlamydia.

-Whoo!
-[Carol] Call me a wh*re. I'm a wh*re.

-I'm not gonna call her a wh*re.
-f*ck my p*ssy.

-Okay.
-wh*re. wh*re. wh*re.

Talk dirty in my ear

-[in Portuguese] What's up, everybody?
-What's up, MC Carol?

[in English] Hey, sweetie,
you're gorgeous.

-That was amazing.
-Yeah.

I was trying to translate
your lyrics to her.

Jesus Christ!

And she was asking me
why lyrics is so dirty.

Can you explain that?

I started singing at 15.

[in English] She started at 15. Yeah.

And how did they first react when at 15...
When this girl is doing this stuff?

I used to stop at some places
on the street, and hear some talks,

"I did this, I did that,

"I f*cked one and stuff."

And I thought,
"Okay, I'll write about that

as if I had lived it.

And we will see what it will be like
coming from the mouth of a woman,

a girl saying that."

And then I started going to the parties,
and I said that I was doing this and that.

-You know?
-Mmm-hmm.

And people got shocked.

-Wow.
-Men didn't like it,

'cause I said they were going to
wash my underwear

for example...

They didn't like it,
they threw beer cans on me.

Threw beer cans?

They threw beer cans, bottles, glasses...

I thought about the money,
I needed the money...

[all laugh]

[in English] Got stuck in.
I understand that. Come on.

So, I want to invite you
for tonight's show.

At Favela of Santo Amaro.

But I also invite you to write with me

something in English.

[in English] I'm game.

[laughs]

[in Portuguese] So it's a deal.

[in English] We need to
write lyrics? Okay.

I will try and not let you down,
and I will be totally filthy.

-Yeah. It's going to be fun.
-Yeah.

What about "p*ssy"?
She'll never say "vag*na."

"p*ssy" is an unpleasant word
for an English person to say.

I'll say anything,
but "p*ssy" makes me feel...

It just makes my mouth dry.

I don't mean p*ssy makes my mouth dry.

-And now I'm stuck.
-[laughing]

What a terrible opening lyric.

And yet I find myself writing it down.

"vag*na." "Butt."

I think we have to
say "butt" at some point.

There's three "butts" here.

-It's Brazil. We love butts.
-Okay.

Um... Fud for the Scottish. Arse.

-"c*ck."
-"c*ck."

-[Sue in Dutch accent] c*ck?
-[Carol laughs] c*ck.

I'm not Dutch.

-[laughs]
-"Minge."

-[Carol] Minge?
-[Sue] Minge.

Hard to rhyme with minge?

-Orange.
-Cringe.

Right. "Cringe" and "minge."
We've got that.

What about "boobs"?

-Yeah.
-"t*ts."

"Teats"?

Well, it's not a veterinary practice.

-"Teats."
-[laughing]

I've written the word "c**t,"
so that's good.

That was my contribution to the genre.

-Okay. All right.
-Mmm-hmm.

Should we go try
and knock something up?

[Carol] Let's try it. Let's try.

[softly] Imagine going to
a recording artist and showing her that

as the fruit of your labour.
I've been working on this for two hours.

-[Carol] Carol.
-Olá.

[Carol] Hello.

Carol, what we've done here
is we've done a mood board

of English rude words.

"t*ts." "Arse."

"t*ts" means t*ts, "arse" means butt.

[Sue] Uh-huh...

Butt...

Here is another one for butt.

[Sue in English] "c*ck."

[in Portuguese] This means c*ck.

[in English] c*ck-a-Pinto?
Isn't that a Disney character?

It's the profanity
that I find interesting.

Um, usually I'm at a string quartet,
so it is a leap.

It is a leap. I won't lie.

Don't hear the word "c**t"
often at a string quartet.

Unless something goes very wrong
with the viola, and that can happen.

[rapping] ♪ This rhyme aims to shatter
The myth that size do matter ♪

♪ Your dong ain't the story
Your c*ck ain't the glory ♪

♪ Get ready for my hairy twat ♪

♪ All I could hear is hairy twat ♪

[chuckles] I think you're on.

[Carol] ♪ Hairy twat ♪

Brace yourselves.

Here comes my clam.

What is clam?

[laughs]

What is clam?

I don't understand.

-Explain to me, Sue. What is clam?
-"What is clam?"

-It's this?
-Yeah.

-Butthole?
-No.

What's the prob...
Whose butthole looks like that?

-It's a clam.
-I don't know.

People have haemorrhoids.

[laughter]

What I'm doing is
I'm piggybacking on an amazing artist

and then just going,
[mockingly] "Look at my vag*na."

I mean, actually just... It's awful.

Minge.

What is your word?

-Quim.
-Everybody.

Prepare for my quim.

-Prepare for her quim.
-[laughs]

[wheezes]

[laughs]

[Sue] Oh, dear.
We've got a lot of work to do.

The gig that night would be staged
in the heart of one of Rio's favelas,

the notorious shantytown areas
on the hills surrounding the city.

We'd been welcomed in as guests,

but the activity would still require
an extensive safety briefing.

We're about 140 meters
from the entrance to the favela.

'Cause it's a g*ng-controlled area,
there's not much police presence.

We are going to be looked after
by some of the local boys.

In the unlikely event
there is any kind of firearms discharge,

like sh**ting or anything like that,

what I want you to do
first of all is hit the deck,

look around and try
and find some good cover,

like anything concrete, anything solid

that you can hide behind
that'll stop b*ll*ts coming through.

Any questions, any issues?
You worried about anything?

Yeah. I mean,
I'm ready to have fun now, Sam.

[foreboding instrumental music playing]

[Sue] We arrived at the ball in good time
for my appearance on stage,

which was scheduled for 11:00 p.m.

I loitered inside the small cage,
waiting for MC Carol to show up,

as the place got busier.

By 1:00 a.m. it was beginning to fill up,

a flood of achingly cool Brazilians
filtering into the basketball court.

I ran through the lyrics of my ditty.

I know you don't call it a ditty.

Over and over, words about dicks and t*ts

and my vag*na
swimming round and round in my head.

At 2:00 a.m., just to break the tedium,

a g*ng walks through the court
wielding submachine g*ns,

pointing them at the cameraman
as a warning not to film them

and possibly as a warning
to me not to sing.

Finally, at 3:00 a.m., MC Carol arrived,

consumed a carton
of chocolate milk, her rider,

and took to the stage.

[audience cheering]

♪ She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ Your wife is tough ♪

♪ You can be sure I will do it again
I will rub against you in the dance ♪

♪ Call me a wh*re
Call me a m*therf*cker ♪

♪ f*ck me hard, ask for my a*s
Tough guy, suck me ♪

♪ My p*ssy is yours I am naked
on the street ♪

♪ wh*re, wh*re, wh*re ♪

♪ Talk dirty in my ear ♪

♪ Now you look
at my a*s going up and down ♪

♪ My a*s going up and down ♪

♪ My a*s going up and down ♪

♪ My a*s going up and down ♪

[in English] Hey, Sue!

[all cheering]

[speaking in Portuguese] All right!

♪ I will do it again ♪

-♪ I will rub against you in the dance ♪
-[speaking in Portuguese] Come on!

♪ Call me a wh*re
Call me a m*therf*cker ♪

♪ f*ck me hard
Ask for my a*s ♪

♪ Tough guy, suck me
My p*ssy is yours ♪

♪ I am naked on the street ♪

♪ wh*re, wh*re, wh*re ♪

[Carol] Sue!

Sue!

[audience cheering]

[rapping in English]
♪ It's all about the guy's behind ♪

♪ It's all about the a*s crack ♪

♪ I'm f*cking, I'm bucking
Like a sweaty little mustang ♪

♪ You think that you're a failure
Your tiny genitalia ♪

♪ Get mad, get hard
And f*cking go impale her ♪

♪ This rhyme aims to shatter
The idea that y'all don't matter ♪

♪ It ain't about your...
It ain't about your... ♪

♪ Get ready for the hairy twat ♪

♪ Can't believe I just said that
Did I really just say that? ♪

♪ All I heard was hairy twat ♪

♪ wh*re! ♪

♪ Get ready! ♪

♪ Get ready! ♪

♪ I'm 52, I'm 52 ♪

♪ I'm 52 ♪

[cheering fades]

[Sue] I was standing on a stage

in front of a crowd
of beautiful party-mad Brazilians,

chanting my age in a language
they didn't understand.

It had been
over two years since the last time

I'd done something this stupid,

sprinting around
like a lunatic at a fireworks festival

four-and-a-half thousand miles away
in Mexico.

Back then, I was obsessed with the idea
of cutting loose and breaking rules

and being free
without really understanding

what it meant to be
without freedom in the first place.

And now I was back
with two thoughts going around my head.

[muffled indistinct rapping]

[Sue] The first was an urgent voice
telling me that somehow

I had to cancel
my mother's Netflix subscription

before she watches this show.

And the second thought
was that this felt good.

[screaming]

Perhaps too good.

♪ I want my p*ssy in flames ♪

♪ f*cking you is painful ♪

♪ If your wife catches us
She will beat me again ♪

♪ I can only tease you
You are there ♪

♪ You look dangerous
But your wife is tough ♪

♪ She is peeking out
Of the corner of the eye ♪

♪ And she has laid a hand
She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ But your wife is tough ♪

♪ She is peeking out
Of the corner of the eye ♪

♪ And she has laid a hand
She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ She is showing me her g*n
She is showing me her g*n ♪

♪ But your wife is tough ♪