01x15 - Boyfriend

[bunniefuu]

At 7:15, Joe Connolly wakes up.

Good morning, world!

Morning, Joe!

It's 8:15, off you go!

- Still goin' out with Lily then?
- Yep.

Joe Connolly is a boyfriend.

You seriously don't believe
the Titanic happened?

But like... what evidence
is there? It's just a film!

Despite being a boyfriend,
nothing much has changed.

Yeah. Based on real events.

Really?
What about Independence Day?

School still began at 8:45.

No, that's not...

Frisbo, can you believe this?

He thinks
the Titanic's not real.

Joe still had to do his
presentation for History class.

It's definitely real.
Seen it on the telly.

Big boat.
The things they can do with CGI!

But not everything was the same.

No, you idiot!

The Titanic is really real...

Hey!

Hi!

Have you had a good... morning?

Yeah, we made a volcano
in Geography.

These sorts of conversations

have now become
a regular occurrence.

- With papier-mâché?
- Glue sticks!

Cool!

Yeah, I like gluing stuff.

- And nothing can go wro--
- Oi!

- Aisha says you're dumped!
- Wot?! But why?

Oh my days!
Aisha dumped John.

They were going out?

Huh! Anyway,
I should probably g--

OK, yeah. See ya.

Toodle-oo! Heh... awk!

[ I wonder
Why she broke up?

Probably he was bad
at bein' a boyfriend.

Wait... if you're bad at bein'
a boyfriend, you get dumped?

- Obviously.
- Oh, you'll be fine, mate!

You been
a boyfriend before, right?

Pete is right,
Joe HAS been a boyfriend before.

- Yeah.
- And how did that go?

Hot Molly says you're dumped!

- Not well.
- Oh, yeah.

Joe Connolly vows
never to be dumped again.

He will do
what good boyfriends do.

Good boyfriends have manners.
They open doors for ladies.

Ladies first!

And ALWAYS take them
to the FANCIEST restaurants.

Garçon!
Your finest meal, please!

How romantic!

As Joe continues
to be a brilliant boyfriend,

he'll conquer all challenges...

- Oi!
- Oh no.

It's Joe Connolly.

..With Kung Fu.

Oh no. He knows Kung Fu.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Ow. Ow. Ow.

And incredible dance moves.

And when necessary,
boyfriends perform

grand romantic gestures.

That's grand AND romantic.

This is EXACTLY
what good boyfriends do.

Joe! You comin'?

Pete reckons I won't be able
to chuck my shoe

over the Humanities block.

- Because you can't!
- Comin'?

The time
for silly games is over.

Joe Connolly is a boyfriend.

I've got to do something first.

And he would act like one.

- ..Absorbed into the water.
- Like a jacuzzi?

Hello, Lily.

Eh... hey.
What are you doing here?

Seeing you, obviously.

Oh. Do you always
tuck your shirt in like that?

You're welcome.

Joe Connolly will do
exactly what boyfriends do.

He will open doors.

- You really don't have to--
- Ladies first!

Oh... thanks.

- Lots of doors.
- Yeah, OK, thanks!

Have my raisins.

They would share their food.

But... I've already got chips.

And Joe would even
take an interest in her friends.

My mum won't even let me stay up
for Next Top Model.

That's crazy!
Not even for Next Top Model?!

Hey, do you like
Bruce Lee movies?

Joe loves Bruce Lee movies.

I mean... do you?

If you do, I do.

But as a boyfriend, Joe Connolly
cannot like anything

unless Lily likes it too,

including Bruce Lee movies,
dinosaurs, and chucking shoes.

So... guess wot 'appened?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Ah, that's so... boring.

Hmm.

- Boring? But my shoe is--
- Lily?

Oh, we just
gotta do this... thing.

- Can I come?
- No! Girls only, sorry.

Oh, she doesn't look too happy.

As Joe watches Lily leave,
it dawns on him.

Something is very, very wrong.

Mate, have you been
with them this whole time?

Yup.

Joe needs to do what
only a good boyfriend would do.

I've got to go
work on my presentation!

So, presentations!
Who wants to go first?

- Me! Me! I'll go first, Sir!
- Oh, OK.

Looks like Joe's first.

The History of Romance.

In front of the entire class,
he would prove himself.

There are many great loves
throughout history.

Lancelot and Guinevere.

Marie and Pierre Curie.

Ross and Rachel.

And of course,
Helen of Troy and Paris.

NOT the city.

In ancient times, a w*r began

between the Greeks
and the people of Troy.

This all happened
for ONE reason... love.

Oh no!

And even today,
there is a great romance

burgeoning in this very school.

Nay! In this very classroom.

Oh no!

The romance
of Joe Connolly and--

Stop!

- Lily, I was just gonna--
- Stop!

What's wrong with you?!

No interrupting presentations!

But Sir, he's being weird!
He hangs out with my friends

He tucks in his shirt.
He opens doors.

He doesn't even talk
about interesting stuff anymore.

And now, THIS! It's not
even real history, it's--

What? You're not breaking up
with me after this, are you?

SIT DOWN!

Wait... are you?

Eh, yes Sir, sorry.

At this very moment, Joe sees
exactly what is happening.

You are.

Right. Please, carry on, Joe.

So... um...
let's skip some of these bits.

There's some more... um...
a big horse destroyed Troy.

That's not your face
on the horse.

Henry VIII with Catherine...

Emm....

Romance through the ages!

Mmmm. Very strange.

But at least you were accurate
about Greek mythology.

- OK.
- Thanks, Sir.

You put her head on a horse?
Legend!

Joe Connolly
is a boyfriend no more.

Sadness consumes Joe Connolly.

So I told Mr Gale
I threw it up there

because Pete said I couldn't.

Which was true.

Long story short,
I have a new trainer.

- How did the presentation go?
- Bad.

Lily dumped me.

Oh. Um... are you OK?

Yeah,
I just don't get it.

I tried so hard
to be a GOOD boyfriend.

- Probably too 'ard.
- Wot?

You've been like a
TOTALLY different person, mate.

- Like, you tucked in your shirt.
- Yeah! That looks rubbish!

Plus, you didn't even watch me
throw my shoe over Humanities.

- Mmm..ON Humanities.
- Same difference.

It's not the same difference!

Joe considers perhaps
Pete and Frisbo are right.

Joe did not need
to do what good boyfriends do.

Oh.

- It's you.
- Yeah.

Thanks, I was really hungry.

Earlier... about
the presentation...

When you were about to talk
about the 'burgeoning romance'?

Yup.

Because he didn't care
about that.

I didn't mean...

It wasn't really me... I...

I'm sorry.

- I liked it, though.
- Liked what?

You know,
the boyfriend-girlfriend thing.

Me too.

But then you were so odd!

And sitting next to her now,
EVERYTHING made sense.

I know! I really like wrestling,
and talking about space stuff.

- And Bruce Lee movies.
- I like Bruce Lee movies too.

Joe had not needed
to be a good boyfriend after all

Yeah, I just wish
we could do all that stuff

and still be
boyfriend and girlfriend.

OK.