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01x09 - Scutwork

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Doogie Kameāloha, M.D.". Aired: September 8, 2021 – March 31, 2023.*
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Lahela "Doogie" Kameāloha is a child prodigy juggling her teenage life and family with an early medical career, as well as having to deal with balancing her relationship with her mother, who is also her boss.

01x09 - Scutwork

Post by bunniefuu »

Walter, I love you

because you love to laugh.

Lahela, I love you

because you care so much,

like how our heart in the sand

has to be anatomically correct.

And I love you for picking all the

shells out of the right ventricle.

Tricuspid valve stenosis is no joke.

I don't even know what that means,

but I love it because you said it.

Ugh. Yarfo. We get it,

you're a great couple.

Sorry, but I'm in love with Walter,

even if his birthday's next

week, and he's becoming an old.

One second.

Hello?

Hey. What time were you born?

Not trying to do your

birth chart or anything,

just a normal question.

10:08 p.m. but I'll save you the work.

I'm an Aquarius, Libra rising,

and my moon is in Gemini.

Your brother is the perfect man.

Look, teenage boys are morons.

I'm a catch.

One day he'll

realize that and we'll

spend the rest of

our lives together.

Walter?

What's wrong?

That was the Global Surf League.

They want me to join the

tour this summer in Australia.

I'm going pro!

- Crikey! Oh, my God.

- What? Dude!

Yeah! I guess they saw me at

that competition last month.

If it goes well this summer,

they could call me up

to the tour full-time.

Wow, congratulations.

Two whole months.

Yeah.

But we can make it work.

Yeah. I mean, we're in love.

I hate to leave you, but, I mean,

getting paid to surf is

literally my ultimate dream.

You gotta go for it.

I mean, not everyone gets asked

to join a pro surf tour at 16.

Kinda like getting accepted

into med school at 13.

Eleven, but who's counting?

Broccoli and batteries ♪

Cabbage on there too ♪

Did you lose your grocery

list again? Just write it down.

Otherwise, I get your little food

ditties stuck in my head all day.

Sorry, things vanish easily

in my old cargo shorts.

Like my pockets have black

holes or just holes.

I told you, you need to

throw those shorts away.

But these are my chore

shorts, my chorts!

I've had them since college.

They're just so ratty.

It looks like you're in a Dickens

novel about an orphanage for dads.

And done!

Got my plan all set

for Walter's birthday.

I want everything to be perfect

before he leaves on his surf tour.

So, I'm going all out for his cake.

I found this baker who does wedding

cakes for all the Waikiki resorts.

Mainlander money.

I mean, I want Walter to love

it so it has to be perfect.

I sent the baker this crude sketch.

It's Walter surfing the barrel

of an almond fondant wave

as the prismatic

colors of a never-ending

rainbow kiss the

vanilla bean sand.

I could do that.

The surfboards are Belgian

white chocolate truffle.

Belgian?

Hmm.

Hey, honey!

Watch this!

- Oh, my

- Whoo!

Brian Patrick and I built a zip line!

Hey, Mom, check this out!

Oh, go, buddy, go!

Go, go, go!

I'll say this, the harness

is a real man-maker.

See, there's nothing I

can't do in my chorts.

- Wanna give it a try?

- No way.

- Height? Speed? I'm out.

- It's a great ab workout.

I gotta get a pump before

I go to Uncle's tonight.

We're gonna do martial arts

and watch Chris Farley movies.

Well, that sounds like I'll

have the house to myself.

The kids are gonna be

at Walter's birthday.

I think it's so sweet that

Lahela wants to make it special

before he leaves for his surf tour.

Yeah, but long-distance

is gonna be tough.

Ugh, yeah. Remember when

we first started dating,

and I volunteered at that clinic

in Sri Lanka for two months?

Yeah. It was so cute

how much you missed me.

You would check in every

day, like all the time!

I feel like you checked in more than me.

You still do.

You can't go a day without

checking in multiple times.

What?

Well, it's true!

When you go to Uncle John's later,

I bet you can't go the night

without calling me about something.

You're going to be the one calling me.

Oh, please!

I can't wait to have this

whole house to myself.

- Mm-hmm.

- You wanna bet?

If you check in first, you

have to get rid of your chorts.

Oh, can't believe I

just called them that.

Okay, but if you check-in first,

you gotta ride the zip line.

- Eyes open.

- Oh, deal.

A little help with the harness?

I somehow made it tighter.

If we ever get a slow day, let's

erase this stuff and play Hangman.

Oh, I can't spell.

Win, Lose or Draw?

I can't draw.

Well, nothing appropriate anyway.

Room 1, bounced back hernia,

Room 2, stepped on a sea urchin,

Room 3 de-cathed himself

and is moving to Room 4.

Also, stay out of Room 3.

Oh, girl, you're on fire today.

And I still have 11 things to

do before Walter's party tonight.

Things are so crazy, I have

Steph picking up the cake.

Isn't she your friend who's

never had a glass of water?

Yeah, but come on.

I trust her, 100 percent.

Steph, hit me, how's the cake?

Amazing.

I wanna live in it.

It's okay.

Dibs on the surfboard.

Cowa-yum-ga!

Dude, I know how important

this is to you. I got you.

Love you, bye!

I totally could have made this.

No.

Yours would have been better.

If I'd have known you

were gonna grab my arm,

I would have touched

the cake with my butt.

Babe, should I hide

my Eagles helmet

phone for my Zoom

interview with the board?

I need to be careful.

I mean, what if one of them

is a lowlife Cowboys fan?

- That's a phone?

- Yeah.

- We've eaten nachos out of that.

- Yeah.

Hey, I didn't know what

flavor hummus to get you.

And since I'm not someone

who has to check in,

- I got you all the flavors.

- Oh, wow.

Garlic rosemary cheddar jalapeño?

They were swimming in those.

Either way, didn't check in.

But you wanted to.

You are so losing this bet.

We'll see.

Okay, honey, gotta go.

Talk to you later.

Actually, I won't.

I

I guess I'll put away the groceries.

Sriracha oatmeal raisin?

All right. All right.

Hey, you guys wanna

come to Walter's party?

His aunties are pretty fun.

The oldest one's 80 and the

youngest one's, like, 13.

I got to get my costume ready

for The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

That's how people used to watch movies.

- In a costume?

- In a theater.

Oh, and I've got my

flair bartending class.

I basically paid 50 dollars

a pop to spill on myself.

Afternoon, residents.

Who wants a special assignment?

Nope. Got to go.

Dr. Kamealoha. Wait.

Yes, Dr. Lee?

I need you to transcribe the voice

memos I take after my procedures.

Oh, well, I kinda have plans tonight.

So if it's just scut work, can it wait?

Scut work? Oh, no, no, no.

This isn't just busywork.

This is essential to

your cardiology rotation.

You get to listen to my

notes and write them down,

ingesting and excreting my genius.

Gross.

Or do you not wanna

learn from one of

the top ten heart

surgeons in the country,

per Delta's in-flight magazine?

Yes, domestic routes only.

Come on.

This is what being a resident is.

Okay, look.

If you need me, do not call.

I have a Tinder date with a

girl who only takes group photos.

Can't wait to find

out which blond she is.

Peace out.

Okay, ready to ingest genius.

March 13, 2021,

60-year-old male presents with distal

phalangeal hypertrophic

osteoarthropathy,

a.k.a. fingernail clubbing,

a rare symptom of a serious

bacterial endocarditis.

Dude's fingers were wack like

E.T.'s, but no light at the end.

Hey, you know what movie they should do?

E.T. but in reverse.

- Send Elliott to E.T.'s planet.

- What?

I should write that movie,

right after my all-male

remake of Steel Magnolias.

One down, 53 to go.

I mean, honestly, I do

feel a little bit older.

Ladies, ladies, those

streamers need more twist.

Who's that little man?

What's up, doc, you almost done?

No, this is gonna take forever.

Dr. Lee rambles like crazy.

It's like you talking about

meeting Sia at the mall.

She was looking for the Lululemon.

Sorry.

So, how did everything go with the cake?

Fine.

I've got Kai and Brian

Patrick keeping an eye on it.

Boss wants a cake check.

Well?

Uh

It's still amazing.

Hurry up and get over here, bye!

How did this happen?

We have to be careful with the cake.

You drive slow, I'll call the potholes.

I'll just sit here.

Pothole, starboard, two o'clock.

I put my friendship on

the line for this cake.

What sucks is this

was us trying our best.

- Farewell, my sweet.

- Guys, no.

Lahela's working her butt off

to get here so we gotta fix this.

How? It's ruined.

You're a great baker.

You'll rebuild it and we're gonna help.

Okay, truth is, I've

never really made a cake.

I mean, my cookie

cakes are straight

fire, but they're more

cookie than cake.

Kai, you can do this.

I believe in you, but you

gotta believe in you too, boo.

Cool?

Okay, let's do this.

Your wrists are too tight.

Hang loose!

Back in the day, me

and your dad used real swords.

You young guys training

with wooden blades?

Yeah. Didn't Dad lose a finger?

It happens.

Not bad.

- Really?

- Almost good.

That's the nicest thing you've

ever said about my training.

I gotta call Clara and tell her!

Oh, never mind.

Well, that's my exercise for a year.

Let's go get a beer.

- You know it.

- Whoo.

This has been a delight, Dr. Hannon.

Though I must ask about that basket.

Ooh.

It's Longaberger.

Just gently repping my

home state of Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania, I'm a huge Eagles fan.

Oh, well then. Take a look at this.

Yes. Go, Birds!

Fly, Eagles, fly!

Well, I'll see you at the hospital when

I come to deliver our final decision.

But I am hopeful it's

gonna be some positive news.

- Bye now.

- Bye!

- Mahalo. Bye.

- Bye.

Yes!

Oh, I can't

Okay, here's another great movie idea.

Star Wars, but instead of in

space, it's on Earth. Earth Wars!

Hey, come on, we'll do this together.

We came back to help you so

you could go to Walter's party.

Oh, guys

Rocky Horror doesn't

start till midnight anyway.

And I don't wanna k*ll

five hours at a Starbucks

dressed as Magenta the castle maid.

And I guess we can add flair bartending

to the list of things Tom

Cruise can do that I can't.

Ugh.

What?

Oh, no ♪

See you walkin' 'round

like it's a funeral ♪

Not so serious, girl

why those feet cold? ♪

We just gettin'

started don't you tiptoe ♪

Tiptoe, ah ♪

Waste time with a masterpiece,

don't waste time with a masterpiece ♪

Huh ♪

You should be rollin' with me

you should be rollin' with me ♪

Ah-ah-ah ♪

You're a real-life fantasy

you're a real-life fantasy ♪

Huh ♪

But you're movin' so carefully,

let's start livin' dangerously ♪

Talk to me, baby ♪

I'm goin' blind from this

sweet-sweet cravin', whoa-oh ♪

Let's lose our minds

and go crazy crazy ♪

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin'

we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪

Walk for me, baby ♪

I'll be Diddy you'll

be Naomi, whoa-oh ♪

Let's lose our minds

and go crazy crazy ♪

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin'

we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪

Uh ♪

Ooh, ah-ah ♪

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin'

we'll eat cake by the ocean ♪

Okay.

Guys, Lahela's on the way.

And

done.

Wow. Nobody will ever

know the difference.

- You did it.

- No.

We did it.

What is wrong with you guys?

Did you accidentally drink

from the adult punch bowl?

How are the children?

Oh, my kids are all doing great,

and Clara's got a big

work interview tonight.

We're giving each other a little space.

I'm not gonna check in.

Won't be easy for Little Benny.

Why you gotta say things like that?

You've always been soft-hearted.

It's a good thing.

You just like to tease me.

I got that from your dad.

He used to hide my shoes

and make me late for school.

We'd also build huts down on the beach.

Now, Hawaii is so different,

the only huts left on the

island sell sunglasses.

And pizza.

You know, your dad is the one that

taught me how to play the ukulele.

Aloha oe ♪

Aloha oe ♪

E ke onaona ♪

Noho i ka lipo ♪

One fond embrace ♪

Until we meet ♪

Again ♪

Phew.

Come on, let's put on Tommy

Boy and get this party started.

But you'll have to figure

out the Wi-Fi for streaming.

Oh, sh**t, I always check in

with Clara for stuff like that.

She's the Geek Squad of our marriage.

It's okay, I'll dust off my DVDs.

I have a Tae Bo workout

and Garden State.

Let's go.

No, thank you, Auntie.

No, I mean, I've had

so much poke. It's okay.

Oh, my girlfriend! You made it!

It was nothing. Happy birthday.

Oh, it's my dad.

I've lost enough "you time" tonight.

So, ready for your cake?

I went all out, so I hope you love it.

I'll love anything from you.

Just twisting that knife.

- This is it.

- Hey.

I'ma lose my best friend.

I might as well have put

Walter's severed head in a box.

We need a distraction.

Think fast! Lahela's friendship

means everything to me.

I can't lose her. Not because of a cake.

Whoa.

Uh

It's my dad again.

He's called, like, four

times. Take a hint, boomer.

Maybe you should call him back.

Four times is a lot.

Nothing.

He's at our uncle's, and

he gets terrible reception.

- We should go check on him.

- It's your birthday.

When was the last time that your

dad called you four times in a row?

He's a pretty chill guy.

What if something's wrong?

Hey, come on, I'll drive.

I can see my auntie

making me another plate.

I wanna save some room for dessert.

That was close.

Um-hm.

That

Dad?

Lahela, Walter.

Help us settle a bet.

Is that a young Vin Diesel

with hair in the back row?

Dad, what is going on? You

called me like 100 times.

Sorry. I just wanted some

help with the Wi-Fi here.

Then just call Mom.

I'm surprised this place has Wi-Fi.

I mean, I saw more chickens

than cars on the way up here.

Hey, Lahela.

- Go, last one, go.

- How is my girl?

Uncle, are you okay?

Uncle, talk to me, how are you feeling?

Shortness of breath

There's red spots in

your eyes. You look pale.

- Do you feel weak?

- Maybe a little dizzy.

Dehydrated.

Probably why I've been playing

the ukulele without any soul.

Like I'm a quirky white girl.

Uncle, can I see your hands?

Fingernail clubbing.

Come on, we gotta go

to the hospital. Now.

- Uncle, here. Let me help you.

- Hi, this is Dr. Kamealoha.

I'm bringing in an 82-year-old male,

possible bacterial endocarditis.

Aha!

I knew you'd check in first.

We're taking Uncle to the hospital.

- Lahela says it's a heart emergency.

- What?

Oh, okay, uh, I'm on my way.

Oh.

It'll be okay.

You know, Uncle's got the

best doctor in the world.

Okay.

I ran an echocardiogram.

You're right.

Bacterial endocarditis.

We can treat the

infection with antibiotics,

but I saw a vegetation.

- Where?

- Aortic valve.

Severe infection. Probably

need to replace the valve.

We're going to OR-2.

Good thing you called me in,

even if it did ruin my night.

Sorry if I blew your chance with

the mystery blond from Tinder.

Turned out she was the cute one,

and she seemed really nice, too.

But you're hospital fam,

and he's your actual fam.

And hey, this is the job.

You are in great hands, Uncle.

Mahalo.

Happy birthday?

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

Family first, right?

Thank you for making

me go check on my dad.

I mean, if we hadn't gone up there

He'd never get his Wi-Fi working.

I wanted your birthday to be amazing.

I mean, you work so hard on your surfing

and now you get to go

on this big adventure.

The harder I work at the hospital,

the more I'm destined to never leave.

But

you get to see the world.

And I'm so proud of you.

So, I wanted your day to be special.

Lahela, any time that I

spend with you is special.

Come here.

Benny!

I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm worried about Uncle.

He's the last one of that generation.

The last one that can

talk story about my dad

back when they were kids, what

the island used to be like

Oh, honey.

Okay, I, I, I talked to Dr.

Lee, and the prognosis is good.

Yeah, honey.

It's okay.

I guess I lost the bet.

Oh, Benny. You had to call me.

Yeah, but I wanted to

call you before then, too.

Well, I did, too.

I've been wanting to call you all night.

I like a check-in.

Me too.

So let's just always check in.

Or better yet, let's just

never be apart for too long.

Okay.

Let's go.

Yeah, let's go check on them.

Thanks for taking

care of the cake, guys.

It means a lot to me.

Yep.

And Walter, I went a little

over-the-top, so don't be embarrassed.

Shouldn't be a problem.

Steph, what happened?

Sorry, we tried to be

so careful, I swear.

And then we spent all

day trying to fix it

and Kai was awesome, but

I totally let you down.

If it wasn't for Steph, then

we wouldn't have even tried.

I guess making a super

detailed sculptural cake

is more complicated than you think.

I don't know. I kinda love it.

You do?

Yeah.

Guys, mahalo. Mahalo nui loa.

I love it.

I mean, you put so much thought into it,

and these guys worked so hard to fix it.

This is the best birthday gift ever.

I know you wanted it to be perfect

before I left, and, yeah, it kind of is.

Thanks for believing in my baking.

And quick thinking on

your kiss distraction.

Kiss-traction?

Smart, even if you

didn't really mean it.

Yeah.

Easy procedure.

In and out, all his vitals are great,

and once the drugs wear

off, you can see him.

- Thank you, Dr. Lee.

- Of course.

Dr. Kamealoha,

you saved his life by bringing him in.

I only did that because of your notes.

So, in a way, you saved his life.

Yeah, I like that better.

Mom, I'm starting to think Dr.

Lee isn't as evil as I thought,

and it's messing with my worldview.

He's a worthy opponent

for Chief of Staff.

Don't underestimate him.

Being a jerk is a clever disguise.

Hey, what about your big interview?

I think

Mama crushed it!

- Congratulations!

- Oh, I wanted to call you

- as soon as it happened.

- I wish you would have.

We could never survive

long-distance now.

Thankfully, we'll never have to.

Yes!

You know, when you're a doctor,

there's never enough time.

Patients, tests, seemingly

pointless scut work.

It all pulls you away

from the people you love.

E hahai ana paha i ka liko ♪

But it can also bring you together.

Pua 'ahihi lehua ♪

O uka ♪

Aloha oe ♪

Aloha oe ♪

- Go, Mom!

- Yeah, Mom!

This is amazing!

And remind you that time is precious.

And you better make the most of it.

Until ♪

-

- We meet again ♪

Until we meet again ♪

Aloha oe ♪

Aloha oe ♪

E ke onaona ♪

Noho i ka lipo ♪

One fond embrace ♪

A h*'i a'e au ♪

Until we meet again ♪